#(vague but certainly there)

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

#my art #feralnette au #birds of a feather #long tags #sorry I went apeshit in the tags #LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW #I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO #its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical #and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread #as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational #in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away #and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do #shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again #legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it #but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings #alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird #she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her #knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself #between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot #and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo #essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that #busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way #to show her she's self sabotaging #cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD

[radiance1]

@puppetmaster13u You called Danny a space whale in the tags of one of this post.

Now what if that was literal?

Hear me out, Danny outlives his friends, parents, sister. Danny becomes a literal whale.

Well, not a literal one because he's a ghost, but he takes the shape one of at the very least. He's just a giant, glowing white whale that looks pretty divine not going to lie.

Danny leaves earth. It wasn't safe for him anymore, what with the GIW and all that as even the ghosts found it not even worth anymore to visit the mortal world.

Except for Desiree and Spectra, but that's besides the point.

But Danny doesn't retreat to the zone, he's always longed for space, but because of his new half humanness he doesn't get believe he could've ever gone because, well. Yea.

But Danny goes fuck it and goes anyway. His form shifts from human to that of a giant whale, and he swims out into the vastness of space.

Years pass, and Danny does start getting bigger as he aged. He explored the vastness of space, marveling at many things, the different planets, the stars, the formations of rock and other things.

Then he encounters someone he never though he would've.

Vlad.

Well, he knew Vlad was left behind in space by his father but he didn't think he would find him again and Vlad seemed... different, from what he remembered.

For one thing, he didn't even know where Vlad began and space ended. He got only see those red eyes that even hinted at it being the man. His body was void black and filled with stars upon stars, all glittering from his body and Vlad barely even seemed to notice him, or if he did, he didn't seem to care at all.

So, Danny took him.

He was both curious and felt a bit bad about what happened to Vlad, even if he didn't know exactly what happened, and he couldn't just leave him there either.

So on his back Vlad went, and his travels continued.

It seemed to be the correct decision, really, because slowly overtime Vlad seemed to be regaining his awareness. Then slowly, tentatively, started to speak with him through ghost speak.

Vlad only seemed to vaguely remember what he was before space. He remembered hating a man, loving a woman, wanting a son, loneliness and a boy with white hair and toxic green eyes.

Even though Vlad was his former enemy, his nemesis, and someone who took the world hostage.

He couldn't help but feel pity for him.

Then their travels continued.

Years pass unnoticed, when in space, with Danny slowly getting bigger and bigger as the two travel throughout. They've come into contact with various civilizations, some hostile, some peaceful, some neutral.

The hostile ones never lasted long, even if Danny never lifted a flipper to do anything most of the time, Vlad made sure of it.

They came at went as they pleased, and Danny believes that they've gained a bit of a reputations over their adventures, but neither he nor Vlad knew exactly what they said. It did prove useful in some cases, however.

A few more years, and Danny feels that this system is vaguely familiar. Which happens sometimes, considering he's been travelling for so long. He then finds out why it was so familiar.

He came across Earth and, oh. When was the Earth so small?

Well, not small really, but when was he just only a bit smaller than it?

Did it shrink when he was away? Or did he just grow?

That doesn't matter though. What does, is the fact that currently seemed to be an invasion going on, on his home planet thank you very much. He did not like the fact that there was a massive fleet parked right outside his home.

So he spoke to Vlad, expressed his displeasure, Vlad responded back knowingly and went off to make the source of his displeasure disappear. That doesn't Danny was idle either, the fleet was big and, well.

It's been a while since he's stretched himself in a fight.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dcxdp #dc x dp crossover #Space whale Danny #Void touched Vlad #Yes this does take place after Phantom Planet #Vlad was left in space how can you not expect me to use that? #Danny is BIIIG #Vlad vaguely remembers what he once was #Danny decided to take him along with him #Vlad can use the void itself because he's been touched by it for far too long #Unfortunately for him #Would Danny and Vlad be viewed as gods by the various civilizations they've encountered? #Danny certainly has the divine look because he glows white in the vastness of space #Vlad I think kinda has that because he's just unnatural to look at because of his void touchedness #I mean they don't have to be but its just a thought. #Right also he isn't the ghost king or prince #But he's a giant ass whale the size of a planet and slightly smaller than earth

[starry-songs-canvas]

Saving the Spare

I was reading a couple time travel batfam fics and had this cool idea. Hope ya’ll enjoy!

————————————————————

Thrown back in time before Damian joined the Wayne’s, he tried to make the most of it. Now Damian’s backstory was incredibly messed up, but this…

“Talia’s started cloning Damian already?!?!?”

The clone with blue eyes looked back in confusion, shock, and anger,

“I am not Damian’s clone, I am the other half of the Demon Twins, you— you— fruitcake!”

Oh.

Oh.

#dp x dc #dpxdc #dc x dp #dcxdp #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #damian and danny are twins #dc x dp crossover #dc x dp prompt #danny and damian are twins #I left which bat time-traveled/dimension traveled vague #My personal favorites are Tim or Dick tho #The batfamily figuring out how traumatized Damian is #Danny’s reaction when finding out he’s “dead” in the future is just #“ Oh that makes sense I am the spare” #And goes along with the time/dimension traveling bat with ease #Convincing Damian to go along as well #Although certainly with less ease

[jouxlskaard]

Strap in, fuckers. This is a long one.

I've seen a lot of discourse and discussion recently about why TMAGP isn't resonating with listeners as much as TMA did, with a lot of people pointing towards the infrequent structure of each episode and the lack of subtlety that TMA had once excelled in. And while both of these are true, I think the main culprit that has caused these problems for listeners is one thing: the pacing.

TMAGP is only going to be 60 (Edit: 90) episodes long, compared with TMA's absolute behemoth of 200. When I'd found out about this, I'd assumed that it meant TMAGP would have a much smaller story - not having to establish as much information as TMA did, and allowing the story to have lower stakes as a result. This certainly wasn't a bad thing, as many sequels that have tried to one-up their predecessors have gone disastrously wrong, but I knew that the structure would be different to TMA as a result.

However, from the 12 episodes that we've seen so far, it appears that TMAGP is going to have similar levels of stakes to TMA - not the same stakes, of course, but they'll likely be on close to equal footing. This means that TMAGP has to establish the same amount of information to listeners with significantly less time to do it in, and the pacing has to speed up to adhere to that. In the first 12 episodes of TMA, we had established one possible recurring statement character (Gerry), a disturbing worm woman (Prentiss), and the fact that Jon doesn't like his assistant and refuses to believe any of the statements. In the first 12 episodes of TMAGP, we've established every important protagonist and what they sound like, two recurring statement characters (Bonzo and Ink5oul) with one that has already physically appeared, much of Sam's backstory and his ties to the Magnus Institute and the fact that something is deeply wrong with their workplace. That is a big difference.

This difference in pacing is what I believe is turning listeners away from what they'd originally enjoyed about TMA, because there's no longer that warm, comforting atmosphere when you listen to it. Its sound isn't designed to come from a tape recorder and a tape recorder only anymore; it's no longer a sit-down and listen to the Archivist tell you spooky stories for 20 minutes anymore; and, like I mentioned earlier, the structure is no longer the same throughout each episode. The horror anthology aspect, whilst still being there, has now taken a back-burner to the metanarrative because so much has to be established in so little time. To many, that's a bad thing. They listened to the original because they liked the statements, and the little things connecting them hinted to a much larger story at play. When this story was revealed, we got to see Jonny Sims and his brilliant prose at its best, because there was no longer anything to hide and the statements were in their purest forms - no longer having to establish information to the audience, and simply basking in the fear.

I'm sure we'll get to see the same thing in TMAGP once the narrative reaches that point, but the current pacing has uprooted a lot of listeners' expectations for the show. I'm going to listen to the entire thing, personally; yeah, it's different, and it doesn't deliver the same vibes and comfort as TMA did, and I probably won't be able to fall asleep whilst relistening to the more obscure episodes like I could before, but in a frankly disturbing way, I'm still fascinated with what Jonny, Alex and the other writers have created. This type of horror is the only kind that I genuinely enjoy, and I'm excited to see what direction Protocol goes in.

Edit: I feel like I should clarify that I don't see this comparison as something that takes away from TMAGP. Alex has said that it's going to be different from the get-go, and I do think that comparing it to TMA is an exercise in futility to an extent. I just wanted to talk about the shows together because I feel like they complement one another, and the narrative beats that I've talked about are less to do with TMA on its own and more to do with general narrative structure. We have buildup, payoff and pacing no matter what show it is, because that's what makes a story. I think TMAGP could be taken a little bit like Deltarune in terms of its relation to the original source material: separate entities with some overlap in character and themes. At the end of the day, it's still early days for the show and this entire spiel could just end up gathering dust - I just think it's a cool thing to think about, and it gives me an excuse to infodump about how pacing can affect a narrative and the audience's response to it.

I wrote this while my cat was laying on me. Have a picture as a reward for reading this whole thing.

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #writing #tmagp theory #tmagp spoilers #tmagp vague #tma #the magnus archives #magnus archives #magnus pod #the magnus universe #the magnus institute #this isn't my usual post but i write fantasy and horror in my free time #i'm certainly not qualified enough for this to be considered the one and only take #but i've been thinking about it and i think it's kind of interesting #this pacing is actually pretty conventional for horror podcasts #but because we're used to tma levels of pacing it feels contrived #i'm just an aspiring writer guys don't take this too seriously

[raichett]

So, I’ve been thinking a fair bit recently about how the Hermitcraft servers, in-universe, actually function on a social and micro-cultural level. 

A list of real life facts:

1. They have unlimited respawns on Hermitcraft. Death is generally either funny or an inconvenience, and pranks resulting in death are very much allowed, even fairly common. Scar, for example, in his Hotguy persona, literally goes around and shoots people with his bow for fun (and it’s considered a little rude to not die if you’ve been Hotguy’d). 

2. Hermits are invite-only and it’s a rather exclusive server; if a (rare) guest is whitelisted, it is only temporary. Many new Hermits are suggested and supported by an already existing Hermit, and there is a phase where a potential new Hermit is researched before any invite is sent. Once you’ve received an invite, there’s no taking it back, and there’s no probationary period. Hermits (and potential Hermits) are not obliged to either accept nor to stay, however! Many former Hermits have left amiably, and some have even come back after missing a season or two, like Keralis.

3. When it comes to server-wide decisions, everyone has to agree or else it won’t happen. It’s quite literally all-or-nothing on Hermitcraft. And everyone has a say and everyone’s voice is weighed the same, no matter how long or short they’ve been there. 

4. Many Hermits are pioneers or big names in their field (Doc and Tango in redstone, Grian and Scar in building, etc.), or else have been around in MCYT circles for a long time (e.g. Etho and Xisuma). This is not true for every Hermit, but there is distinctly an element of this in the line-up as a whole. It is also very common for Hermits to ask for help/opinions from other Hermits whose specialities are different from their own.

5. Mega-builds and mega-projects are the norm on Hermitcraft. It’s generally expected for a Hermit to take months and months on creating a starter base, then a mega base, at least one shop, usually a mini-game or two for server-wide events, etcetera etcetera. Not every Hermit does this, or does this every season, but most do.

6. Hermitcraft has very, very few rules: griefing is allowed, stealing is allowed, etc. No, really! You can do just about anything on Hermitcraft - so long as you’re prepared to deal with the consequences, and to make reparations if you actually hurt someone’s feelings.

7. It does, however, work on what are called “gentleman’s rules”: that is, if you make a mess, you clean it up, basically. If you prank someone, expect a retaliatory prank, which you have to take in good humour. If you destroy (by accident or design) someone’s items or builds, you’re expected to replace/reimburse/help set it to rights. The entire Hermitcraft economy (the shopping district) works on an honesty box design. Good sportsmanship is the name of the game on Hermitcraft. In the words of Grian himself: “We prank hard, but we clean up harder.”

8. As touched on before, no one on Hermitcraft actually has authority over anyone else. Some people have admin access (Xisuma, Tango, Joe Hills, etc.) but everyone’s voice weighs the same, even if some people have stepped up to take the lead when it comes to the engineering minutiae of maintaining a very popular server.

9. Every Hermit in the current line-up (Season 9 at the time of writing this) is an adult. I can only think of one person who was not an adult when they joined Hermitcraft and that is Mumbo Jumbo, who was 16 or 17 at the time, I think. Most of these people have life experiences and careers before MCYT. Some of them have only recently ceased to be part-time youtubers/streamers and change to full time as they quit jobs to pursue it (e.g. Cleo, Impulse, etc.). 

So, what does all this mean in-universe? Well... 

- Death is temporary, and very little weight is assigned to it, save that if you kill someone for a prank, expect to be pranked fatally in return. There is very little angst to be mined here.

- The Hermits’ expectations of other Hermits generally boil down to “good sportsmanship”, “willing to lend a hand/their expertise if they’re open to doing so” and “willingly accepts consequences for their own actions”. If you don’t follow these expectations at least most of the time, you’re not really acting in a way that is considered acceptable to the rest of the server, and you’re not fitting into the community on Hermitcraft.

- No Hermit takes on any particular authority figure role, neither in the sense of a boss or manager who looks after things on a professional level, nor in the sense of someone taking on a parental role for anyone else. Friendships are certainly encouraged, and Hermits have varying social relationships with each other, but there really is no “mum friend” or “dad friend” around, excepting the occasional joke, there really just isn’t. And there aren’t any Hermits who seem to want to take on this role.

- The closest I can describe the micro-culture of Hermitcraft in real world terms is “university/college dorm full of mature students (mature students = people not fresh out of secondary school/high school)”. They are all busy with their own massive projects, and then on a social level are out to have a good, slightly chaotic, time. They’ve generally got a good sense of identity, or are blossoming into the kind of creator/person they want to be, because they’re in an environment that encourages growth and ambition while (contrary now to the university/college metaphor) not punishing failure. 

- Hermitcraft is a place of “healing” only in the sense that it is a place where people have a fresh start to dedicate themselves to massive projects and become a part of an exclusive but generally helpful and kind community. The only expectations are that you take responsibility for yourself and your own actions, and if you dish out something you’d better be prepared for it to be volleyed back to you; all of these are fair, in my personal opinion. Some people absolutely thrive on such an opportunity! Some others do not.

- Hermitcraft is exclusive, and not everyone who visits the server gets to stay there. To be offered an invite to become a Hermit requires you to be a good fit for the server and its community, and for everyone to agree on that. If even one Hermit doesn’t want someone there, they won’t be invited. That being said, the Hermits are mature individuals, and if you’re not a friend, then you can at least be a colleague. But if you can’t even be that... well. Hermits don’t offer invitations quickly, due to the fact that there is no probationary period; you’re either in or you’re not.

- LARPing is fairly common, wars are games, and everyone there is just out to have fun at the end of the day. If you don’t want to be involved in whatever “storyline” is currently being acted out on the server, you’ve got to manually say so and tap out. You can just say “sorry, busy with my mega-build, have fun at the war” and be left in peace. And these play-pretend games are not necessarily server-wide, either. Not everyone wants to be involved, and those who don’t aren’t pressured to be. But they do very much happen, and pretty frequently. 

And... yeah, that’s about it. Hermitcraft is a world where a bunch of people are basically running wild and free, able to create huge projects and have fun with their friends (in that distinct adults-who-don’t-have-to-go-to-work-and-are-free-to-be-who-they-wish-to-be kind of way), and while the in-universe reality of any storyline can be up for debate in fandom (e.g. in Season 5, was the jungle actually possessing people or were they just LARPing that?), at the end of the day, most of what happens is in good fun and good sportsmanship. And that is what it means to be a Hermit.

#hermitcraft #long post #raichett original #this is totally not spawned by vague annoyance at constant flowery found-family-but-make-it-as-OOC-as-possible fics #and certainly not by any fics that make crossovers between hermitcraft and other mcyt series #but fail to address the reality of hermitcraft canon and characterisations and expectations let alone ones from the other series

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Las Vegas Grand Prix - Qualifiying - Fernando Alonso

#half asleep making these istg #yayyyy p9? idk ig i expected him to do better #old man asleep at the wheel whats new 😴 #he was very quick w this interview i wonder if he was eager to get to bed #i certainly am rn #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #2023 las vegas gp #(i wish i could atop feeling insecure abt my gifs. i do it for fun.) #(of course i want them to look somewhat good but i get a bit ill over it) #(there was somw drama on here at some point that made me want to completely stop posting then ngl) #(cause like what is the point if im not as good as others ig :/ this is kinda vague posting but it made me so uncomfortable) #(as i said. i do it for fun in quick time bcs yay jsut wanna post smth i found cute) #(but ever sincce that thing happened its just made me extremely self critical and insecure abt posting) #(idk why im saying this. kinda repressing the urge tk be like 'SRY THESE ARE TERRIBLE. YEAH.') #(i need to sleep. but i often feel like this literally every time i post now bcs some people get on their high horse and ruin people's fun) #(iykyk ig. its smth bothering me lately. but i hate to act so morose. but i still feel bad abt the quality sometimes. i guess.) #we do a little bit of f1

[aardvaark]

obsessed w the episode of Bones where they’re telling some wealthy lady with a mini pomeranian that her ex husband is dead and she starts crying and instead of offering any kind of comfort, brennan just takes the dog off her and happily exclaims (and this is verbatim) "he’s so compact!!"

#bones tv #temperance brennan #i don’t think there’s much of a bones fandom on here which is why i haven’t posted abt it #emily deschanel #sometimes bones is too copaganda for me and sometimes bones is like ‘ah shit the government committed murder again’ #mostly i just appreciate that it’s early 2000s and one of the main characters is a canonically bisexual woman of colour #(angela i mean) #and the main main character is a genius anthropologist woman who is HEAVILY autistic coded #still at its core it’s very 2006 with it’s often vaguely liberal but mostly centrist stances portrayed #though sometimes it’s wild w like. extremely pro legalising marijuana attitude in one ep i remember #and then another ep is weirdly pro death penalty #incredibly strange political alignments and also ghosts just randomly canonically exist #no idea what to make of all that #let’s just say i certainly watch it critically like with any other media #edit for tags: i said angela was bi but i’m p sure in canon she says she has no label so im sorry abt that. i meant she dates men and women

[hermitcraft-shifter]

"Getting out of the houses and interacting with people you don't know is important for the sanity." Joe about Ren joking about grinding until he falls over.

#hermitblr #hermitcraft #joe hills #joehillssays #joehills #paraphrasing #true that #they love playing hermitcraft and im so happy for them #good for them #also joe still has the brain cell #vaguely #potentially #it certainly seems like it but you can never be sure #dad hills

[235uranium]

I haaaaate when ppl treat ford being upset over his identity being taken and his house getting turned into essentially a mockery of his research was completely unreasonable

like, was stan doing his best with a terrible situation? absolutely! would ford kicking him out be an actually fair option? fuck no!

but he's been in this dimension for probably 12 hours. god knows the last time he's slept. he'd been nearly dead prior to going thru the portal and now has to deal with the fact that he's lost everything. he doesn't even have his own identity anymore.

I honestly don't even think half the shit ford says to stan is truly about stanley or ford's opinion of him, so much as it is about his own issues and how weighed down with guilt he is.

I think its worth noting that ford only ever says mean things about stan when he's pissed off- when he's not angry, he's much more willing to actually discuss things and try to find common ground (such as when he invites stan to play d,d&d).

it honestly comes off more as him not knowing how to communicate anger outside of hurting people than it does genuine malice towards stan. and also I don't think ford ever really internalized that stan was homeless in the duration of the show

#☢️.txt #ford pines #gravity falls #like again its an asshole move but the sentiment (im upset that you brought me back to the apocalypse i caused and i cant even have my name #isnt like. abnormal?? #ford is really really bad at just fucking telling stan how hes feeling and instead chooses to be vague and then explode #and again its not stans fault! he didnt have a whole lot of choices! and what ford said WAS hurtful #also yeah i genuinely do not think ford has processed like anything stan has said about his past #like hes told about it while having a psychotic breakdown and again after nearly getting killed #and then getting dragged back into his own dimension and realizing that bill is almost certainly going to win #hes not processing 'i was homeless' all hes thinking is how he personally has doomed everyone in this room #he has the realization at 4 am months later and feels Fucking Terrible #90% sure the reason i read his actions this way is my autism tends to make me do this #and having a dad with anger issues teaches you to have worse anger issues so that hes fucking sick of dealing with you

[shitapril]

sister just laughed on the phone today (25 March, 2024) and i am sick to my stomach, absolutely disheartened.

this generation simply does not understand the weight some days carry and the respect that they demand (zayn left one direction on this day 9 years ago).

#no but fr something shifted irrevocably that day #i can't say i remember it but i certainly felt it #vaguely #i think #one direction #1d #niall horan #harry styles #louis tomlinson #zayn malik #liam payne #pop music

[palpunte]

In "The Menagerie", McCoy passionately defends Spock to Kirk and says Spock would never lie or forge records, he or Kirk could run off "half-cocked" and do something silly like that but Spock would never, they both know Spock too well to think that, how dare Jim even mention the possibility!

And then it turns out Spock totally did falsify the logs, and he proceeds to steal the ship and basically kidnap the crew (including McCoy) to take them to a planet that you get the death penalty just for approaching.

It frustrates me to no end that they never show the emotional fallout of this?!?! We see Spock surrender himself into McCoy's custody (and McCoy's frankly A-DO-RA-BLE reaction of "um, uh, I guess, take him to his quarters? is that the right call? tell me what to do here Spock" re: Spock's own arrest), but then the court martial hearing starts and McCoy isn't in the next episode!!!

To be fair we don't really see Kirk's emotional reaction to this either, the episode just ends with Starfleet going "lol nah, we were just kidding about the death penalty man, we love you guys", but Kirk does get to see the entirety of Spock's reasoning and seems okay with it at the end. What did McCoy think though!!!

I feel like if they'd been more consistent about character development on TOS (which they were not because it was an episodic show in the 60s, all the characters were more or less expected to act the same and have the same dynamics in all the episodes), then this could have been a very early example of what we see happen with the Spock/McCoy dynamic more explicitly in the movies, i.e. Spock learning to accept and integrate his humanity and McCoy going "Nobody's perfect (endearment)."

But on the other hand, Spock in this episode is still going "I only did the LOGICAL THING no emotions were involved how dare you insinuate such a thing" to which McCoy's reaction might just have been a huffy "Why can't you ADMIT you did it because you care about Pike you damn green-blooded bastard ugh I hate you why did I ever defend you?!"

But in my mind, I now headcanon that there was an emotional fallout to this and it laid the foundation for their dynamic shifting.

#spones #the menagerie #hmm also this vaguely gives me pike/spock feelings i never thought about that before #not in the sense that i personally ship it but it's conceivable spock had something approaching romantic feelings here #which he never saw as romantic himself but the people who saw him do THAT for pike would certainly think those thoughts

[n7punk]

i know i've kind of talked around this stuff for... fuck, three years now? but idk, now it's getting closer to "resolving," i kind of want to talk about it. journal, get it off my chest, idk

i haven't really been specific about my health issues much because 1) privacy and 2) very complicated feelings on it, but feelings are becoming less complicated, so... yeah. privacy is still really important to me, but i have too many feelings about this to keep feeling like i'm silencing myself for some hypothetical... i dont even know what

tbf, if it had turned out to be anything else, i probably wouldn't be comfortable even making a vent post about it now. but it turned out to be. annoyingly simple. i've also got other stuff, physical disabilities and such i've been more candid about but still want to keep the specifics of private, but this is... very different.

long story short, during the pandemic i started experiencing Symptoms. i'm honestly not sure if/how much i have talked about what was wrong with me, because i don't remember... entire years, much at all. i know ive described it as my brain being on fire, but it's more like it instantly melted down and i was left with the aftermath for hours/days/weeks at a time. it really fucked with me emotionally to be fighting through that on top of the direct effects of the Symptoms. and, well, the problem was my brain (probably) so that tracks.

it turns out it was migraines. migraines that shared many symptoms with seizures, brain tumors, or pressure on the brain stem, but yeah. "just" "migraines." and, actually, we don't know that! but migraine medication is helping, so it's probably that and this is where i am, finally waking up these last few months (this summer of updates could Not have happened if it weren't for my new medication) and feeling both very frustrated with what i lost and relieved to not always have to deal with suddenly being unable to understand a sentence anymore.

it's not like. fixed. my brain is still going to burn sometimes. It seems to come in waves, like two bad weeks and then two good ones. we're not done trying to treat it now we know some stuff it's responsive to, but its not like it used to be, wildfires raging all day and my head wavering on my shoulders as i struggled just to read messages from my friends. i literally had an emote i would use to communicate when i couldn't communicate that everybody who knows me understands. i haven't even twitched since starting my new meds! well, like, uncontrollably. trust me, that's progress. i literally had to get a bigger bed so i could be safe in the middle of it when the fits were especially bad and i got twitchy.

uh so that was more story than i planned. really i just wanted to finally talk about what i've been experiencing (at least for the first time that i remember). honestly writing was the only thing that kept me sane while i was trapped inside my own malfunctioning brain. i don't know why it was one of the easiest things for me, when i couldn't even understand a full two sentences being said to me i could still - usually - write (again: i literally couldn't talk for like three of the days when i was writing and updating catcher daily), but i'm so grateful for it. and everybody who told me my stories helped you, or that you looked forward to them, or even just that you enjoyed them: you helped me right back, because you told me there was one thing i could still do, from a capability standpoint to having the ability to make any impact on the world when i was trapped at home. so thank you.

okay i'm done now. just. had to get that out

#i dont like being negative and im very much one of those bare your own shit people because i dont want to bother anyone #and have been living on a razor edge where i certainly couldnt help anyone else with their weight #but like. we're getting towards the victory stage (as close to one as these kinds of things have) so im ready to finally say how bad it was #ive wanted to talk about it a lot but something was always stopping me #(partly some vague but panicked ''what if'' related to sharing too much) #im tired of being held back and choosing to hold back. i want to move on. as much as my body will let me #mylife

[jessicas-pi]

okay look i joined the rebels fandom once the show was over so I missed all the old interviews and cast stuff and such so can someone who has been around for the whole journey or who at least knows more than me please confirm, did sabine and ezra's voice actors ship them?? i've heard that a few times and i desperately want to know how true it is. (my inner english teacher is asking for cited sources but at this point i'll take any answer.) because oh my gosh i would feel so validated if they did

#i spent this whole time. years. YEARS. thinking that none of the cast for the show ever acknowledged that ship #or they all went with the 'Well They're Certainly Friends' total vague-ness thing #but if some of the cast shipped them #and that cast was THEIR VOICE ACTORS?? #I WOULD FEEL SO MUCH VALIDATION. #sabezra

[lambfromfield]

i need gwendolyn and (original) elias bouchard to be siblings/twins SO bad. i know it doesn’t make sense. i know it literally defies different universe logic and everything about the way that we’ve been introduced to tmagp. i also don’t care. i need it

#‘OP is this bc you’re a sibling? you’re a twin? fraternal girl/boy (at birth)?’ UMMM NO HAHA! WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAY HAHA! #CERTAINLY NOT!!! /J #no im Sorry because Like. imagine. gwen just has this brother who up and basically disappeared one day. almost became . Someone Else . #he didn’t Talk the same anymore. didn’t smoke or joke or laugh like he used to. just worked all the time. [danny stoker looms in distance] #‘grow up theyre prolly just distant relatives or its a coincidence’ FUCK you. theyre twins to me. gwen was too close to og elias so she got- #universe swapped. TO ME. #tmagp #tmagp speculation #tmagp headcanons #the magnus protocol #tmagp vague #gwendolyn bouchard #elias bouchard

[adreamingrevenant]

#my first sleep deprived contribution to the Twisted Wonderland Fandom but certainly not my last #well technically second #but this ain't about that #twst book 7 spoilers #twst book 7 #twst spoilers #twisted wonderland #hello TWST fandom have a low quality meme for now #that guitar finally served it's purpose it was like it was made SPECIFICALLY for when I got the urge to throw hands with the Fae Senate #F' those guys roughly with a rusty chainsaw all my homies hate the Fae Senate #Malleus Lilia and Meleanor don't deserve all this #I don't know if it's just because this Book came out at a coincidentally difficult time in my life where I can relate to Lilia even more #but by everything holy and unholy this entire book HURT #although the lore came in at a FANTASTIC timing for an au I'm working on lol #now I take a nap before I figure out how to link ao3 on tumblr via mobile before I work on that #all of my knowledge of years of studying Fae lore and Irish mythology is finally going to come in handy #I wish upon the Fae Senate that their second death feels vaguely like being forced into hot iron shoes and forced to dance to death :) #don't blame Malleus at all for being angry. if he wants to overthrow the Senate I'll be right there with him #twst memes

[the-starry-seas]

i'm gonna be honest i think a lot of boba's *vague gesture at all that* makes a lot more sense when you take into account that he was homeschooled

#boba fett #*vague gesture at all that (jango edition)* that certainly didn't help either