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drabblesandimagines · 1 year

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Milkshake

Lil' follow-up to Syrup that I couldn't get outta my head after seeing the finale! Rei x reader, fluffy fluff

You blink – not quite believing your eyes when the grey dot has changed to green next to his name. You haven’t seen that in weeks. You’d spent literal hours on voice chat together, sometimes playing a multiplayer game, sometimes doing your own thing, sometimes just chatting and nothing else, right up until a couple of weeks before Christmas when things went radio silent. At first you shrugged it off, thinking that it was the run up to the holidays, things maybe just got busy, or maybe his internet was out, or maybe he’d even gone out of town and just hadn’t mentioned it… But then, when the Morio Kart DLC expansion came out – one that you knew both Rei and Miri had been so excited to play – you began to feel a little hurt. Your mind would often try and dissect the snippets of your last conversation, trying to work out if you’d offended him somehow, said something weird?

There’s another beep and a notification pops up. ReiSuwa1 is inviting you to voice chat. Your disbelief turns to annoyance – he’s ghosted you for so long, this better be one hell of an explanation.

You lean back in your gaming chair, kicking your feet up on the TV console as you hit accept. “Hello, stranger.” Your tone is tense.

“What?!” A voice cries out – it’s too far from wherever the microphone is but it doesn’t sound like Rei. There’s a lot of racket – like someone’s scrambling around, looking for something, then it stops.

“Hello?” You try again.

“Who’s this?” Definitely not Rei. Had his account been hacked?

“Er, you called me.”

“I did?” They sound puzzled. “I was just trying to switch the damn thing off and then your voice started coming out the headset. Rei’s shown me but I can never remember the right buttons…”, the mysterious voice rambles on before stopping. There’s a twinge in your stomach at the mention of Rei’s name. “Oh… Are you that girl he was speaking to, from the video games shop?”

You try your best to sound casual. “Well, that depends on how many girls from video games shops he talks to.”

“You’ve met Rei, right? I don’t think you’ll be surprised to hear the amount is incredibly low, single digit low. One and under.”

“Ah, you must be Kazuki.”

“Huh, he mentioned me?” You hear him sit down on something with a loud exhale – must be getting comfortable.

“Yeah, loads of times.” He had – funny stories, usually.

“Well, I’m honoured.” He chuckles.

“Hey, just whilst I’ve got you on the line and all,” you pause and wonder if you’re going to regret this, but press on regardless, “Is Rei okay?”

“Yeah.” There’s a beat. “Why? Has he said something?”

“See, that’s the thing – he hasn’t said anything. I haven’t spoken to him since, like, mid-December. I was really surprised to see him calling, to be honest…” You trail off.

“Oh!” Kazuki sounds genuinely surprised, or is an incredible actor on his roommate’s behalf. “I mean, he’s been on here with Miri recently, but when I properly think about, I haven’t seen him play anything solo in a while.”

“Sorry, this is probably the worst conversation to have got yourself into. I think I misread things – I shouldn’t drag you into my woes.”

“No, he…” He sighs. “How do I say this? There was… There was an accident about two months ago. Rei really injured his right arm. He’s a lost a lot of the mobility in it, including his hand. He’s doing physio, but…”

“Oh, jeez.” You exhale.

“He’s okay now. Well, okay-ish. They don’t think he’s really going to get a lot of movement back in it. Shit.” He mutters, as if he’s had a realization. “I kinda forgot that means video games are off the table. I thought he wasn’t playing with Miri because he says she’s a bad loser, but I guess he can’t use the controller thing as well as he used to?”

“Mm, a lot of them do just work off the premise that everyone’s got two functioning hands. You can do some tactical button mapping on some, I think. Gotta admit I haven’t looked into it much.” You bite your lip in thought. “Poor Rei. That must be a big adjustment.”

“Yeah. I mean, he’s taking it really well. Never complains.” Another pause. “I mean, you haven’t even seen him by the shop? He took Miri a couple of weekends ago to get some new figure to unlock something.”

“Oh. No, I don’t work weekends. He… He knows that.” Your stomach is twisting in knots. There were a few times him and Miri would pop in when he picked her up from daycare to say hello and on a rare occasion, he would show up online on the weekend saying Kazuki was out somewhere with Miri, so he knew your rota.

“I’m sorry.” He sounds genuine, at least.

“No, I’m sorry – I just feel a bit of an idiot.” You don’t know what it is, but Kazuki is surprisingly easy to talk to and you need to get it off your chest. “Like, I was trying to build up the courage to ask if we could go for a real date instead of all these virtual ones we seemed to be having. Probably for the best he ghosted me, huh?”

“No, I think he would’ve liked that. Honestly, this…” he pauses, as if he’s choosing his words carefully, “accident has been a lot. Rei’s surprisingly sensitive, he’s probably worried that he wouldn’t be able to keep up with you. Did you guys do quests or some shit?”

“You do know video games!”

“I may have overheard some key terms, that’s it. And, er, don’t ignore the question.”

“Yeah, we did. He’s a much better player than me, though. He was dragging my stats up.” You sigh. It’s not what you wanted at all, but maybe it’s a sense of closure. “Well, I’m glad he’s okay-ish. I don’t know if you want to tell him you accidentally called the video games store girl, but if you do, tell him… Tell him I’m thinking of him, yeah?”

“Sure will. Erm, whilst I’ve got an expert on the line – A, how do I hang up and B, how do I turn this machine off?”

You laugh. “I’ll hang up so that’ll take care of that. Do you see the really big rectangular button in the middle of the controller?”

“Mm.”

“If you hold that down it’ll bring up a start up menu, kinda like a laptop? Then you can select power off and that’s you.”

“Thank you. And, hey, I will speak to Rei, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks. Bye, Kazuki.”

You press the end call button, as promised, and a few seconds later you see Rei’s icon change to offline so it looks like Kazuki at least managed to turn off the machine. You fling off your headset, spin your chair around to face your bed and collapse down onto it face-first, letting out an exhale. Poor Rei…

You’re so tired. You tossed and turned all night with an idea swirling around your head. You got up, wrote it down, and got back under the sheets but your brain still wouldn’t shut up about it. You’d spent until the really early hours conducting research and now, you’re on your third cup of coffee due to an early delivery you need to sign for at the shop, annoyed at yourself but you wouldn’t say you were full of regret what you’d discovered.

You’d been thinking about Rei and that, if he did want to play video games, there must be something out there to help. Whilst you found there were some consoles with “official” adaptive controllers in a way – and, ouch, eye-wateringly expensive, much? - your research also led you to a bunch of online videos where people shared their modded designs - even the schematics or a print bundle for you to 3D print your own to adapt the controller yourself for numerous different machines. The reviews are sometimes so-so, things are a work in progress, but you wonder if you could take parts of one and parts of another and try and make something workable.

As you watch the boxes get unloaded and put into the store room, you wonder if whether you’re getting way ahead of yourself. Sure, you could make the adaptor for the controller but if you did, how do you know he even wants such a thing, plus how would you even get it to him? You didn’t have his number – it was the shop policy to shred anything with customer’s details on right after the repair had been complete and you’d rang off the store’s phone those few months ago.

You sigh, before taking another deep sip of coffee. The problem is, you know you, and once you set your mind to a project you’re going to see it to the bitter end.

“Sign here, please.” The delivery driver pulls you out of your thoughts as he taps on the clipboard, after stacking up the last of the boxes.

Right – work first.

A week later, you’re sat at your desk fiddling with various parts. You’d found a place that offered 3D printing facilities, so you’d printed out a bunch of stuff on your day off that you’d bookmarked for possibilities and you’ve spent your evenings since placing bits and pieces together to try and make something workable. Luckily from your shared game play and access to his gaming history via his profile, you know what games Rei likes so you can begin to test your configurations a little, noting down what is and isn’t working to try and tweak things further.

Your console chimes – you’d turned it on when you got home to download an update. Looking at the screen, you see a notification. ReiSuwa1 is inviting you to voice chat.

You grab your headset and slip it on before picking up your own controller and hesitating. The conversation with Kazuki had popped up in your mind since you’d spoken and as you reflected, you’d begun to wonder if you’d just sounded so utterly sad and desperate.

You press accept and brace yourself. “Hello?”

“Hey!” It’s Kazuki again. “I deliberately called this time – I promise.”

“You’re learning.” You smile, rolling your seat back over to your desk. “What can I help you with?”

“I spoke to Rei.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t say it like that – I was covert.”

“Yeah?”

“I just said I noticed that I hadn’t seen him playing on here recently alone, or speaking to you… He admitted it’s difficult with the controller. He didn’t want to bother you.”

“Bother me?”

“Yeah. I didn’t quite get it either. I pressed him on it a bit – said something about holding you back in gameplay, that maybe you wouldn’t want to speak to him anymore.”

“What? No, that’s not right – we spoke loads of times when neither of us were even playing.”

“I know! I suggested he called you, I said you were probably worried about him since from what he and Miri had told me about you, you seemed a nice girl, but he shrugged it off in his usual Rei way.”

“It’s okay, you can’t force him.”

“Oh, I can. As his roommate and friend, it’s important that I aid him in his recovery, and that is reconnecting with his friends, if not more.” Is it possible to hear someone wink through a call? Cos you feel he definitely just did. “So, I was wondering, whatcha doing Saturday?”

“Huh?”

“Miri’s desperate for a new kart thing? We’ve got a chore chart, she gets a gold star every time she does her tasks and I said when she’s earned enough, Rei will get it for her. So, I thought, maybe, if you happened to be in a certain video games store on your day off and I sent a certain man to go in…”

“Ah, I don’t know.”

“Come on, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“He could think I’m stalking him.”

“Uh-uh, you’ll be in the store first.”

You look at the controller in your hand. “I’ve been working on something dumb.”

“Are you changing the subject?”

“No, it’s related. You know I repair controllers, right? Well, after our conversation, I’ve been fiddling around with some adaptors - you kinda clip them on the controller and then you can use it with one hand. I thought it might be something Rei would want to try, I mean, he might want to try…”

There’s silence from Kazuki’s end of the line.

“I’m sorry, is that creepy I’ve done that? It’s probably creepy.”

There’s a loud sniff.

“Are you…? Are you crying?”

“No! It’s just allergies.” There’s another loud sniff. “That settles it - we’re doing this. Give me your number.”

When Saturday rolls around, you’ve got the controller adapters into decent shape and they’ve passed all your self-created one hand tests. Kazuki and you have been texting off and on the last few days and he’s bringing both Rei and Miri to the mall – there’s some live performance of those dancing vegetables from the TV that kids seem to like so much. Whilst Kazuki takes Miri to that, he’s going to get Rei to head to the Joypad and pick up Miri’s figure as a surprise. You’d taken your spare controller with the adaptors in place to work yesterday and left your bag in the back office – more so as an excuse to your colleagues as to why you’re there on your day off. You don’t know how to explain that your crush’s roommate has set an elaborate meet-cute for you both, so with Kazuki’s detailed updates and ETAs, you time it perfectly to pop in the store, greeting Mr Kyoto himself before slipping into the back office to pick up your backpack. You got in the back office as Kazuki texted to say that he could see Rei entering the store now – oh, jeez, is this the creepiest thing you’ve ever done? – and you wait about a minute before exiting. The timing is almost too perfect - you’re walking down the aisle towards the exit as Rei’s walking up, looking for the figurine.

His right arm is strapped up in some sort of black immobilization aid, keeping it close to his chest, but he looks as good as ever and you suddenly feel queasy. This was a terrible idea, you’re considering spinning on your heels and diving back into the office until he leaves but it’s too late as the two of you make eye contact.

Rei looks almost embarrassed to see you, and there’s an awkward staring competition before you realise you’re the one that needs to break the ice.

“Hi, stranger,” you smile, casually.

“Hi.” His cheeks are tinged red and he looks down at the floor for a moment. “Er… I’m sorry that I haven’t been online, or in here for a while…”

“That’s okay, it seems a lot has happened since we last spoke.” A not so veiled reference to his arm. “Are you doing all right?”

“It is what it is.” He shrugs. “I’m… adjusting. How are you?”

“I’m okay.” A pause. “I… I’ve missed talking to you, though.”

“Me too.”

You swallow, “What brings you here today, then?”

“Oh, Miri wants another one of these.” He casts his eyes to the display and grabs the character she’s after. You’re not sure which one, you’re too busy staring at his face.

“Oh, er, cool.” There’s another awkward pause and you lose all confidence. “Erm, well, I should let you get on. It was nice to see you, though…”

“Yeah,” he nods. This was such a stupid idea, you berate yourself, as you go to walk past him. He suddenly steps in front of you. “Wait.”

“Yeah?”

“Are you busy right now?”

“Erm, no…”

“Can I buy you a milkshake?”

You smile. “A milkshake?”

“I seem to remember you like them,” there’s a smirk on his face. There was one evening when you enthusiastically described an incredible milkshake that one of the kiosks in the mall made for probably a solid five minutes.

“That is true. Okay, then.” You nod. “You can buy me a milkshake.”

“Cool. I’ll just go buy this…” He nods to the figurine in his head and heads up to the counter, where Mr Kyoto is beaming at you, giving you two thumbs up and you avoid eye contact, pretending you don’t see your boss’ celebration. Rei retrieves his phone from his pocket as Mr Kyoto is scanning the figurine through the register and about 45 seconds later, your own phone buzzes.

Kazuki has sent you a text message comprising entirely of emojis – a winking face and love hearts.

You’re sat at one of the tables in the food court, sipping on milkshakes and chatting away like no time has passed. Rei’s slowly been opening up about his online absence.

“I just… I wasn’t sure if you’d still want to hang out if I can’t play.”

“Rei, I wasn’t just talking to you because I wanted to game with you, I was talking to you because I like talking to you.” You take another slurp of milkshake for a shot of sugar rush courage. “And, just to make this absolutely clear because I don’t think I was in all of our previous conversations, I quite like you, actually.”

“You do?” He smirks.

“Mm. I was going to ask you on a date.”

“You were going to?”

“Yeah, but then you went offline. You’re a hard guy to track down.”

“Ah.” He nods, taking a sip of his own drink.

“And I need to be completely honest because I feel creepy - Kazuki accidentally called me from your profile a week or so ago.”

“Is that why he and Miri are hiding behind that plant?” He gestures lazily to the corner and you see a flash of blonde duck behind the greenery and hear the little girl giggle.

“Most likely, yes.” You sigh. “He’s a sweet guy.”

“He is.”

“Sorry, I think he just felt bad for me and my sob story. And, well, he kinda told me about your arm too…” You pick up your backpack and place it on the table. “And it got me thinking – you know how I like messing around with controllers anyway?”

He nods.

“Well, it turns out there’s some really clever people out there making devices to ensure people with limited hand movement can enjoy video games, so, I kinda got a little too into researching it and mixed and matched and came up with this,” you dig into your bag and remove the controller - it's got the plastic adaptors clipped over it - placing it onto the table.

“So, you can use all the joysticks and triggers across the whole thing with your left hand.” You demonstrate, taking him through what controls what. “You’ll need to do some button configuration still on start menus, but I tried it out on my console on a few things I know you’ve played and it’s super easy.” You look up and he’s just staring at you, almost in disbelief and you panic.

“I mean, I’m not expecting you to use it or even take it home with you because I know this whole thing has been super creepy and I’ve overstepped so many boundaries and, like, talking behind your back with Kazuki, but I…” Without any indication, he leans forward and kisses you on the lips, gently, cutting off your ramble. He tastes like his strawberry milkshake.

He has a dreamy smile on his face as he pulls back and you’re sure you look like a total idiot, your mouth open in disbelief at the turn of events.

“Huh.” You find your voice. “I take that means you like it?”

“Mm, and I like you.” He gets to his feet and holds out his left hand to you. “Kazuki and Miri are going to get kicked out if they continue to hide in the shrubbery any longer. Come back to ours, you can show me how this thing works again.”

You nod, stuffing the controller back into your backpack and taking his outstretched hand. He doesn’t let go as he leads you over to Miri and Kazuki. The little girl greets you eagerly, crashing into your legs.

You don’t even need to hear Kazuki to put a face to a voice – his loud sniff as he wipes away his tears is enough to give it away.

Check out my masterlist.

#ghostdogwrites #buddy daddies x you #buddy daddies #buddy daddies fanfic #buddy daddies fluff #miri unasaka #rei suwa fluff #rei suwa x reader #kazuki kurusu #rei suwa x you #suwa rei x reader #suwa rei #suwa rei x you

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leofrith · 1 year

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A Critique of ACV: The Last Chapter (SPOILERS!)

I wanted to hold off on sharing my thoughts about the new content until I’d given The Last Chapter time to breathe, because I was honestly hoping that maybe if I gave it some time, I wouldn’t dislike it so much. But the more I think about it, the more I find things to dislike about it. Which is why what started out as a quick write-up of my thoughts immediately after playing The Last Chapter has now spiraled into this very long critique that got so long I needed to add subheadings to break it up.

Sorryyyyy.

I’m basically spoiling everything from The Last Chapter here, along with Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla and parts of its expansions. I also briefly mention a few other Assassin’s Creed games, mainly Odyssey and one of its DLCs. My point being, if you don’t want to know anything then please look away now. Or don’t. But I know I would have appreciated a warning before diving into this mess. 💀

As a disclaimer: this essay is not meant to be an attack, nor is it meant to place blame squarely at the feet of Darby Mcdevitt, or any of the other writers or developers involved with the game. There are so many moving parts in a game as expansive and with as much add-on content as Valhalla, and I can only guess what happened behind the scenes that brought us to this point. I don’t know who wrote what, who made what creative decisions, and I therefore don’t feel comfortable placing blame on anyone in particular. I have never worked for Ubisoft and I can therefore only speculate about their internal culture based on what has been leaked from the company over the years. Furthermore, this is not an invitation to personally attack anyone involved in the development of this game on Twitter or wherever else. This is purely an attempt on my part to articulate why me and so many other fans of Valhalla and of Eivor feel so profoundly emotionally betrayed by this ending, as well as outline some factors that I believe contributed to the way the game was mishandled.

So. I think I had already accepted when the trailer released back in September that something like this was going to happen. I had already done my mourning for the fact that Eivor would never get the send-off she deserved, which is why I think I’m a lot less upset than I would have been otherwise… but that doesn't make this suck any less. The Last Chapter was completely underwhelming, it was emotionally unsatisfying, it completely butchered Eivor's character, it felt incomplete, and rushed, and it felt more like a teaser for Mirage than anything close to the conclusion Eivor’s story deserved.

The (Character) Assassination of Eivor Varinsdottir

When we first meet Eivor as an adult, she is overconfident, brash, and she has just gotten in over her head and gotten both herself and her crew captured by the enemy. She is in the 17th year of a quest for revenge she has been in pursuit of since she was nine years old. She has spent more than half of her life hunting Kjotve, the man who stole her parents, her clan, and her childhood from her, and is fully prepared to die if need be to kill him. She is an orphan who was taken in by the Raven Clan after the slaughter of her own people, and she considers these people to be her new family. Her love for her family and community are central to Eivor’s character right from the beginning. While she learns and grows past some of her flaws throughout the game, her love for her community and her loyalty to them is what sticks with her.

Eivor also starts the game carrying an immense amount of shame for how her father died, laying down his axe in the hope that the rest of his clan would be spared, only for he and most of his people to be slaughtered anyway. Through her time spent acting as a leader to the Raven Clan–first as a warrior and later as their Jarlskona–Eivor finally understands by the end of the game why Varin did what he did, because she realizes that she would make the exact same choice to protect her people. Eivor, too, would choose to die in “dishonor” if it offered even the smallest chance to save her loved ones.

Eivor is the reincarnation of Odin; she carries his memories and his thoughts, unbeknownst to her. She has visions and prophetic dreams and hears his voice in her head, but spends much of the game not understanding the meaning of it all. The part of her that is Odin pushes her toward chasing personal glory, toward the pursuit of knowledge, toward selfishness. But she chooses to abandon all that in favor of the people she loves, even as Odin rages and screams insults into her ear and calls her a coward–the one thing she has always been most fearful of becoming. Odin is a representation of everything she has been told to value in life, and she is (literally) pulled in the opposite direction by Sigurd, Randvi, Hytham, Valka, Gunnar, Soma… everything else.

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Eivor never truly seems to grasp the meaning of her connection to Odin, Sigurd’s connection to Tyr, Basim’s connection to Loki, or anything about the sages or the Isu at all. Not in the base game or in any of the DLCs. She never really acknowledges it explicitly until The Last Chapter.

Put a pin in that.

Family and community are central to Eivor’s character. Loyalty is central to Eivor’s character. Honor is central to Eivor’s character. That’s why it makes absolutely no sense for Eivor to drop everything, seemingly out of nowhere, to go back to Vinland alone and live out the rest of her days learning from Odin, the part of her that she explicitly rejected at the end of the main game. And it certainly doesn’t justify Eivor deciding to leave Ravensthorpe in the middle of the night without a farewell, regardless of who she supposedly said goodbye to offscreen. It doesn’t justify her completely sudden and out of character decision to walk away from her clan, her family without a true goodbye. Eivor spends the entire base game acting as Jarl in Sigurd’s stead in everything but title, because Sigurd has all but completely abandoned the clan in order to chase his own ambitions, only for Eivor to supposedly do the very same thing? No. It’s completely incongruent with her character and actively contradicts facts that were established in the main game.

There are so many other inconsistencies, including the fact that I highly doubt Valka–the same Valka who we saw warn Eivor against digging too deeply in her visions in the intro to The Forgotten Saga–would simply accept Eivor departing for another continent to delve deeper into her visions. But the way they miswrote Eivor’s character was particularly glaring. There could have been a version of the last chapter in which Eivor's motivations actually made sense, but that version needed so much more evidence for it to be believable. Reading between the lines is one thing, but expecting players to accept the conclusions you’re feeding them without planting any seeds beforehand is just lazy writing. [insert “HE WOULDN’T FUCKING SAY THAT” meme]

The RPG structure is the root of all evil (I know just… hear me out on this)

I think applying an RPG structure to Assassin’s Creed was a mistake, and have thought so for a while, but not really for the reason you’re probably thinking of. The “but we’re reliving another person’s memories in the animus, so how can it possibly make sense to allow us to make choices that affect the narrative?” reason. My criticism of the addition of choices is mainly this: I think that by trying to “expand” the story by adding RPG elements and dialogue options, they instead ended up severely limiting themselves. Because the problem with adding dialogue options to Assassin’s Creed is they can never take those choices to their conclusion. They can never truly have consequences.

Trying to tell a linear story with a non-linear structure like this doesn’t work, or at the very least, it hasn’t worked in Assassin’s Creed thus far. Odyssey came closer, I think, because it had multiple distinct outcomes and player choices actually had an affect on the trajectory of the plot (Mostly. Hi, Legacy of the First Blade. I’m coming for you in a minute.). Odyssey's multiple endings present a different problem entirely in the context of Assassin’s Creed because despite the input of choice, there is still a canon version of the story and a canon ending. It leaves those players that arrived at a different outcome feeling alienated, and like their choices were incorrect or simply didn't matter.

But in Valhalla, all roads lead to more or less the same destination and most decisions have no impact on the trajectory of the story. The problem that arises from this is that players will make their choices and expect some sort of payoff, as they should. But they won’t really get it. As per Darby McDevitt, for example, Sigurd always goes back to Norway at some point, regardless of whether a player ends up with the “good” or the “bad” ending. Sigurd returning to Norway is a fixed point and the timeline will always course correct, so to speak, to reach that end.

(Thank you @/vikingnerd793 for the screenshot!)

Everyone gets more or less the same version of The Last Chapter, with the siblings’ interactions only varying slightly after the “bad” ending to reflect the fact that Eivor and Sigurd haven’t seen each other in a while. But even with the tiny variations in dialogue that exist, a few changed lines in a scene that doesn't last any longer than two minutes still fail to make Eivor and Sigurd's supposed off-screen reconciliation feel even remotely earned. Ubisoft wanted to offer “choice” while not following through with emotional payoff for those choices because they only wanted a single ending. Even if a player ends the main game with Sigurd deciding to stay in Norway as a result of Eivor’s “betrayal,” the consequences of that to their relationship are never truly explored.

Having only one ending with no variations in an RPG means that they couldn’t address any of the plot points that could have been affected by player choices. Interpersonal conflicts are watered down or only vaguely referenced. They couldn’t truly address the state of Eivor and Sigurd’s relationship because that would depend on what endgame the player reached. They couldn’t give Randvi an actual goodbye because some people didn’t romance her and therefore it might feel “forced” to those people, despite her being a major character. Vili–despite apparently being Eivor’s best friend–can’t appear because for some people, he’s busy being the Jarl of Snotinghamscire. There is no true emotional follow through for any of the choices made throughout the game. The end result is a goodbye tour consisting of Aelfred, Guthrum, and Harald, three people who Eivor has little to no emotional attachment to, but whose roles in the game are fixed no matter what choices the player makes, which means they’re safe to use. To be clear, Hytham’s role in the narrative is also fixed, but the reason I separate him from the other three is because he is actually emotionally significant to Eivor. His goodbye, unlike the other three, feels earned.

To be clear, I don’t place the blame entirely on the writers for this because, as I’ve said, they were given a franchise that revolves around linear stories, told to put dialogue options into it, and make sure all those choices still lead to the same conclusion. As an extension of that, they brought back people who worked on the base game two years after its release to tie up loose ends that should have been dealt with years ago. I wouldn't be surprised if those same creators have all since moved on from this story and its characters, both creatively and emotionally. It's been two years. Even longer than that since they actually worked on the game. I wouldn't fault them for not having the same enthusiasm they once did. But the end result is a last chapter that feels almost completely devoid of emotion, and ties up absolutely none of the loose ends that most people would expect from a permanent “goodbye.” It fails to reach the emotional highs and lows that a conclusion with two years of build up should have.

Which now brings me to Randvi.

Oh, Randvi, now and forever shackled to her map table.

I know this will be a hard pill to swallow for a lot of people, but I always suspected that they would never actually follow through on making Randvi and Eivor's relationship canon despite the fact that it is indisputably the most fleshed out romance in the game. They are hinted at right from the beginning, in the form of Randvi’s clear dissatisfaction with her marriage to Sigurd and in Eivor’s lingering gazes. It is the only romance option in the game that has any effect on one of Eivor’s core internal conflicts: remaining loyal to her brother. “The wind calls [her] back to Randvi” after almost every single regional arc, whether players choose to pursue a romance or not.

But Darby McDevitt Official Headcanon or no, I never thought Ubisoft would "force" another romance after the backlash from Odyssey's Legacy of the First Blade (I told you I’d come back to it). I truly believe the company will and has happily suffered criticism from the Queer community for forcing a relationship on gamers who played Kassandra as a lesbian. Kassandra who, prior to the DLC, also never shows any interest in starting a family, or becoming a mother, or “continuing the family line”, as would become Ubisoft’s flimsy correction to the storyline after the criticisms started rolling in. But I highly doubt they would be okay with alienating the bigots who seem to form the loudest portion of their player base. That would be too much of a risk to their bottom line.

To me, the romance plotline in Legacy of the First Blade was the inevitable result of Ubisoft wanting to tell a linear story with a non-linear structure. I think they did so without thinking through the implications of letting players choose their character's sexuality, only to then backtrack on it later because they needed Kassandra to have a baby. And what they seemed to take away from that was only that all forced romance is bad, without grasping the nuance of why that particular forced romance was so bad. This isn’t to say there should be any forced romance at all but that it should have served as a lesson of why one shouldn’t make a game with so much emphasis on player choice, only to take that choice away and even retroactively nullify those choices when it suits the needs of the plot. But that wasn't Ubisoft's takeaway. So in Valhalla, they pulled back. They made all player choices matter just a little bit less.

Eivor and Randvi’s relationship is inarguably handled with more care than any of the other romances in the game. It is inextricable from the narrative, whether it is a romantic relationship or a friendship. But despite any amount of blatantly obvious subtext that exists, Valhalla is still an RPG and the creators cannot confirm or deny any of the choices as correct or incorrect. And because they have to cater to all possible endings, they cannot address Eivor and Randvi’s relationship in any capacity because it might be misconstrued as being forced. Despite every overt piece of evidence that exists, Valhalla is still technically an RPG and at the end of the day, plenty of people did not choose Randvi. No amount of narrative director headcanons or heavy subtext will change the fact that Randvi is a seemingly meaningless choice in a sea of meaningless choices, and has now remained so permanently.

Ubisoft just really sucks as a company, actually

Everything that I am about to say in this section (and honestly, most of the next one as well) is conjecture because again, I don't know how certain creative decisions were reached behind the scenes. This isn't just about Randvi, or about Eivor's sexuality. It’s also about Ubisoft’s long and storied history of internal misconduct and suppression of marginalized voices. It's about Ubisoft's history of employee abuse in general. It's about the fact that Ubisoft suddenly decided to let players choose their gender, but only once they finally got around to making mainline titles starring women. Syndicate’s Jacob and Evie share the role of protagonist, and would have also shared equal screen time if Evie’s role hadn’t been significantly minimized throughout production in favour of her brother. Aya was originally meant to replace Bayek as the main playable character early on in Origins, but was later reduced to a side character who is only playable in a few missions throughout the game. Aya, the founder of the Hidden Ones. The order that would later evolve into the Assassins. The order that is the namesake of the entire franchise, just to be clear. Odyssey was originally conceived as Kassandra’s game, before the developers were made to allow players the choice to play as Alexios. Every female protagonist in the franchise thus far has been minimized in some way, and Eivor is unfortunately no different.

Assassin's Creed is a huge enough brand at this point that they could have easily released Odyssey with only Kassandra, and Valhalla with only Eivor. But instead of taking a "risk" and doing just that, they added the male options to cater to a small but vocal minority of misogynistic piss babies who don't want women to exist in their video games, period. At least, certainly not as fully realized characters with personalities and thoughts and feelings of their own. That would require acknowledging women as people, rather than as identical playthings that mostly exist as a social stealth mechanic for them to hide behind when they need a cover.

It’s especially funny because it was such a futile effort. That very same group of people was never not going to complain about Assassin’s Creed going “woke” for having female protagonists, even if they were optional. Those people were going to complain no matter what, and they absolutely have as evidenced by the fact that they've been having a conniption on Twitter for the past few months now that Eivor is suddenly getting even half of the attention from the marketing team that Havi has gotten for two years. The comments section on every official social media post featuring Eivor is a sea of people complaining about how “female” Eivor being canon makes no sense, how her voice sucks, how she is just the result of Ubisoft pandering to a “woke” demographic. The “fan” response could not be more blatantly misogynistic. What’s more, Ubisoft bases the trajectory of their games at least partially on fan responses. It’s a toxic feedback loop of them making creative decisions built on sexism and the fans responding in turn.

Ubisoft deciding to implement gender choice as a mechanic didn't happen because they suddenly had a change of heart after happily ignoring their female players for years. It happened because they got busted for the "women don't sell" comments and the company's history of burying sexual assault allegations, and because they finally caught on to the fact that catering to gamers that aren't cishet men might actually be profitable. And it wasn't for lack of trying from the devs within the company because again, Origins was originally conceived as being Aya's game, Evie and Jacob were at the very least supposed to have equal screen time when development on Syndicate was in the early stages, Elise's role in Unity was also reduced... you get the idea.

Letting people choose to play as a woman or letting people choose to play as a Queer person is great. But it's an obvious cop out when your company also has a history of suppressing those very same voices, has done next to nothing to remedy the toxic company culture that encourages that behaviour in the first place, and when you've been dragging your feet as a developer about making your games even just a bit more inclusive for years. It’s an empty gesture when those female characters need to be watered down just enough for their male counterparts to make some amount of sense in the story, and when the marketing for the game hides them away like some kind of shameful secret.

Suddenly making games starring female protagonists because you’ve realized that it might be profitable, while also making it optional anyway, isn’t exactly the win for representation they seem to think it is. Especially when the marketing favours the non-canon, male protagonists so totally that most people would assume Eivor and Kassandra are skins of their male counterparts. Because heaven forbid the poor baby boys have their escapist fantasy shaken if they have to play as a woman who’s better at getting girls than they are. Making your representation optional makes your representation look half-assed and while I absolutely adore Eivor and Kassandra, I mourn what they could have been if their stories were allowed to be fully theirs.

Perhaps I’m being overly harsh and Ubisoft simply decided to implement gender choice in Valhalla in good faith. I honestly wouldn’t care if I thought it had, or if AC games had always allowed players to choose their gender. But considering the company’s history, and considering the game’s marketing, I somehow doubt that. Especially when, in their first game featuring a canon male protagonist since before AC pivoted to RPGs, they are not giving players the option to choose their gender.

Hi Basim.

Now don’t get me wrong. I obviously understand why Mirage doesn’t allow players to choose their gender; Basim is a pre-existing character, and it really wouldn’t make sense. But it is so transparent that they are willing to jump through narrative hoops to explain why Alexios is playable as the Eagle Bearer, but the same thing can’t be done for Basim. I suppose the importance of coming up with convoluted reasons as to why your protagonist’s gender is so easily changeable fades away when you’re not trying to replace a woman.

But what’s this? By God it’s–it’s Mirage with a steel chair!

The final content update for Valhalla feels like a teaser for Mirage. Full stop. If you think I'm being too harsh or unfair, then that's your prerogative. But in The Last Chapter, in the long-awaited conclusion to Eivor’s story, we don't even get to play as Eivor. The entire questline (if it can even be considered that much) consists almost entirely of cutscenes, which we view through Basim's perspective while Eivor is relegated to a side character. It’s a collection of Eivor’s memories that are supposedly filtered by emotional intensity, as Basim puts it. Grief, longing, sadness: all emotions that I fail to see being presented in the memories they gave us, at least for the most part. For the first time in Valhalla, we are voyeurs to Eivor’s memories rather than experiencing her life through her own eyes. The role of the animus user in past Assassin’s Creed games has always been pretty unobtrusive, but The Last Chapter constantly reminds us that Basim is there and watching. "Animus magic," as Basim calls it, was less of a necessity to the plot and felt a lot more like Ubisoft's marketing department gone awry.

I'm thinking about what Basim says at the end of the base game, when he is in the modern day and speaking to Eivor's remains. When he says, "I can take from you anything I want... your memories, your skills, your secrets. They're all mine." It's so ironic because he really stole Eivor's ending right out from under her, and I would have to laugh if it didn’t suck so much. It's all I could think about while I was watching Basim flippantly scrub through some of Eivor's most "emotional" memories which for some reason include… saying goodbye to Guthrum, a character we spend very little time with in the grand scheme of things, and who Eivor has next to no emotional attachment to. I understand the desire to tie up loose ends in terms of the historical events that were happening around this time, and they absolutely should have done all that because Assassin’s Creed has always been, in part, an exploration of history. But it should not have happened at the cost of providing closure for characters who were such significant figures in Eivor’s life.

I thought the Roshan quest was fun and I loved her and Eivor’s dynamic, even if we only got a small glimpse of it. But it was development time that could have been spent on wrapping up Eivor’s narrative instead of making another timeline agnostic add-on stealth mission in a game that has always had notoriously janky stealth mechanics. I look forward to seeing more of Roshan in Mirage and can now rest easy knowing that she is going to survive to the end of that game (although I cannot fathom why they decided to spoil that so early on). But they used what was apparently very limited time to give us a quest, very clearly a nod to Mirage, that does more to promote their next AAA title than serve the narrative of Valhalla.

Using the ending of a game to lead into the next is fine and is to be expected. But that transition should not come at the cost of a resolution for the story you're leaving behind. And really, it seems there was far more thought put into Basim and William Miles' first meeting than how Eivor came to the decision to leave for Vinland.

I think Basim is an incredibly rich, complex character, and it will be interesting to see what direction they take his prequel. But as someone who has actually been really excited for Mirage, the way they've dealt with this transition between games has left me feeling so conflicted, not least of all because of how quickly Ubisoft dropped the ball on Valhalla as soon as Mirage was announced. I’m not sure I’ll be able to look at everything we will be gaining with Basim in the next game without also feeling bitter about everything we lost with Eivor. It’s not terribly surprising, since Ubisoft has never treated Eivor’s character with any amount of respect; not in the marketing, and not in most of the post-launch content that has come out in the past year.

The post-launch that launched absolutely nothing

Darby has now said that The Last Chapter is meant as more of a direct follow up to the epilogue of the main campaign, to be played right after Gunnar's wedding. This is why they didn't feel the need to show a goodbye between Eivor and her people; the wedding functions as a sufficient goodbye to the Raven Clan.

But even if that was even remotely satisfying, it doesn't explain when Eivor came to accept her role as a sage, a role that she has yet to understand by the end of the base game, even if she is perhaps beginning to question it at the very least. It doesn't explain why it was never truly addressed in any of the some 100 plus hours of content that have been released for this game since then. It doesn't explain why Eivor and Randvi might finally pursue a relationship, only for Eivor to suddenly pick up and leave for Vinland, alone and permanently. It doesn’t explain why Eivor would leave for distant shores without saying goodbye to Ljufvina, or Vili, or Stowe and Erke, or Broder, or Oswald and Valdis, or Swanburrow, or any of the many other people whose relationships Eivor cherishes throughout the game.

If anything, The Last Chapter being played immediately after Gunnar's wedding and the rest of the Hamtunscire epilogue makes it even more important for Eivor to say goodbye to her people, because that whole arc only cements Eivor’s devotion to her people, as well as how much her “encounters” with Odin have shaken her faith. Even then, that doesn't even touch on when or why she came to the decision to leave in the first place.

Due to a “play anytime” approach that Ubisoft–for reasons I cannot even begin to fathom–decided to take with all the post-launch content for this game, all DLCs for Valhalla are exactly that: they can be played at any time. They go to great pains to avoid spoiling story points from the base game, they rarely make references to events from the base game and, perhaps most critically here, they don’t build on any of the plotlines of the base game.

Remember that pin we stuck in Odin earlier? Hi. He's back.

None of the DLCs released in post-launch–from Wrath of the Druids to The Siege of Paris, to smaller, free additions such as the River Raids–touch on Eivor’s connection to Odin or her understanding of it, or any of the other potential threads left behind by the base game. Other more mythologically inclined entries like the Mastery Challenges, Dawn of Ragnarok, and The Forgotten Saga scratch the surface of it, but never dig deep enough for Eivor to put two and two together. Even in the Odyssey crossover with Kassandra, who has intimate knowledge of the Isu and their artifacts, Eivor remains completely clueless about her role as a sage despite it being the perfect opportunity for her to learn more.

At no point is Eivor shown to make any wild revelations about her Isu heritage that could justify her decision to leave. There is a gaping hole in the narrative where that development should be, and therefore the jump from “everything else” to “I’m older now, and I want to learn from the god who lives in my head,” is unearned and comes from completely out of nowhere. The DLCs could have remedied this easily by giving us deeper insight into how Eivor interprets her visions, specifically how she interprets her relationship to Odin. They could have dug into how and when she comes to terms with that connection, and the same could be said for how she comes to know about all the other sages, including Harald, who Eivor and Sigurd suddenly seem to know about being the reincarnation of Freyr despite not seeing him in more than a decade and never mentioning it before. But they can’t, because the DLCs are playable at any time, and therefore cannot discuss things the player may not yet understand.

The brevity of this DLC was especially jarring, even as someone who went into this with low expectations. Because after two years worth of updates, including some sizable free ones, I thought that surely Eivor’s conclusion would be considered important enough to receive the time and attention it deserved. After all, Kassandra got her own surprise ending in the form of the Crossover Stories, announced completely out of nowhere two years after the last DLC for Odyssey was released. After all the time and effort and love that clearly went into that crossover, it seemed reasonable enough that the ending for Valhalla, a game that was still being supported, would have the same amount of effort put into it, if not more. Instead we got a barely there wrap-up that lasts maybe 45 minutes at most, if you’re being generous, and fails spectacularly at offering the catharsis that should be a no-brainer in a story where the main character’s death has been a mystery to be unraveled, right from the beginning.

Eivor is dead. She has been dead for centuries, buried across an ocean from everyone and everything she knew in life. The how and why of Eivor’s burial site is a question that follows us through her entire journey and throughout the entire game. One that was never resolved… until now, with some vague notion about leaving everything she has worked for and everyone she holds dear behind in an attempt to find herself, all with the help of an entity with whom her relationship has been tenuous at best. Eivor decides to banish the part of her that is Odin because she doesn’t like that part of herself. That second soul, the part of her that values personal glory above all else. Even in The Last Chapter, she describes Odin’s memories as “malicious.” So why backtrack so completely?

I have no idea.

It’s possible the developers weren’t given enough time to give this final chapter the breathing room it needed to make sense. It’s possible they had lost enthusiasm, and just wanted to rip the band-aid off and get this thing over with. It’s possible Ubisoft wanted to cobble together the scraps of a potentially satisfying ending so they could say they did it, before turning all of their attention to their next title. As it stands, I wish they had just left Valhalla alone, with an open ending, instead of providing a non-answer that feels like an afterthought. An incomplete conclusion to a story and a cast of characters that many of us still care so much about, but Ubisoft seemingly gave up on long ago.

Eivor deserved better.

The Raven Clan deserved better.

Valhalla deserved better.

We, the fans, deserved better.

If you actually read this far then there is a good chance that you also need therapy

This whole affair really reminds me of the last time I felt this profoundly disappointed by a piece of media I loved. It reminds me of how I felt after watching the second season finale of The Mandalorian, when it hit me that the whole season had just been a series of various cameos and fan service moments that only made sense to the plot at a stretch. It hit me that I had just spent the previous eight weeks watching the show runners completely sideline their main characters–Din Djarin and Grogu–and lose the plot in favour of promoting future Star Wars projects. When it seemed like all the good writing in the show previously had been entirely accidental. But the major difference between The Mandalorian and the ending of Valhalla is that I knew there would be another season of The Mandalorian to potentially patch things up and pick up on some of the plot threads that were dropped. For Valhalla, this is it. There is no more content upcoming that will patch this up and, in hindsight, there are plenty of other things added to this game in post launch that I think would have also made me feel the same way I feel right now if I knew they were the last piece of content we’d ever see.

Am I overthinking this? Perhaps. Am I being melodramatic? Probably. But to me, this ending for Eivor feels like yet another perfect example of what happens when corporate interests are allowed to dictate creative decisions.

I say all this as someone who has and will continue to defend a lot of Valhalla’s faults, because if writing this whole thing has done anything, it has served to remind me how good the core narrative of the base game really is. It has depth, it has heart, and I hope that other people who enjoyed it as much as I did–and are as disappointed by The Last Chapter as I am–are able to reconcile the beauty of Eivor’s character arc in the main game with the way it was seemingly undone in The Last Chapter.

I’m trying my very best to not let this ending retroactively take away all the joy I’ve found in this game for the past year. And in spite of how negative this critique has been, writing it has actually really helped me do just that. Because in writing this critique, I was also looking back on Valhalla’s narrative, its highs and lows, its major plot points, and I was re-watching clips. A speed run of Eivor’s greatest hits, if you will.

I was reminded of why I connected so strongly with Eivor in the first place. I was reminded of her strength, her kindheartedness, her love of children, her wit, the poetry of her dialogue, her sense of duty. I was reminded of her rage, her single mindedness, her sense of loyalty that is often to her own detriment when she offers it to those who don’t deserve it. I was reminded of her character arc from someone who spends so much of her life on a single minded quest for revenge, to someone who becomes a beloved leader to her people.

I was reminded of the Valhalla sequence at the end of the game, a sequence that still makes me cry just as much now as it did the first time I played it, if not more. When Eivor, who has spent most of her life feeling nothing but resentment and shame toward her dead father, finally learns to understand why he did what he did. When she understands why he laid down his axe, the very same axe she holds now, in the futile hope that his daughter, his wife, and the rest of his people would be spared, only for most of his people to be slaughtered anyway. When Eivor has finally realized, through years of acting as a leader to her people, why Varin did what he did, even in opposition to everything she has ever been taught to value. When she has grown enough to realize that she too would make the exact same choice her father did, her cowardly father, because she too would die in dishonour if it offered even the slightest chance to save her loved ones. When Eivor, who has spent her life trying to justify her existence by being useful, finally accepts that her parents died because they loved her and not because she didn't do enough. When Eivor is holding the very same axe now that her father held then and the High One himself is offering her wisdom and glory and power and she, like her father before her, drops her axe and turns her back and chooses love instead.

That is the version of Eivor I will remember. Not the hastily cobbled together ghost of her that we saw in The Last Chapter.

#this ending and this review is the reason i start therapy next week #like i mean not actually. but the timing lined up pretty perfectly did it not?#the main problem with assassin's creed is that it has potential to explore some really interesting ideas and concepts #but it's also owned by one of the most shit for brains companies i have ever fucking seen #anyway now that i've purged this from my system i will not be thinking about tlc ever again #unless anyone specifically asks #and for shitposting #and writing fix-it #because as we all know my hubris knows no bounds and my track record for finishing things i start is stellarrrrrr /s #assassin's creed #ac valhalla #eivor varinsdóttir #eivor varinsdottir #eivor wolfkissed #ac spoilers #ky posts text #this is a writing tag #ac.txt

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peculiarbluerose · 7 months

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Tips I wish I knew for my first RE4R Hardcore playthrough (Original Campaign)

Notes:

-This can also be applied to lower difficulties to make it 10x easier

-This does not include tips for the Separate Ways DLC, but some of them can be applied, I suppose

-All of these are picked up from personal playthroughs as well as YouTube videos (Neon Slice influences the majority of these)

-I've also just played this game on the hardest difficulties too many times lol

1. FLASH GRENADES - They WILL be your best friend, I promise you. Why? They stun enemies for at least 5 to 10 seconds and you can melee them. Alternatively, you have a window to stab them (always a critical hit, perfect for mini bosses like the Brutes)

2. Keep at least one first aid spray on you at all times; this has saved me on several occasions, and not doing it has killed me

3. Ashley's armor is worth the hassle if you are trying to get the S+ rank on Professional (if it's your first run, professional will only be unlocked after you beat the game at least once)

4. If you are in a spot where you are overwhelmed, just RUN. Run if you can, especially if you're out of bullets and you're on your last knife. This is another situation where flash grenades are useful.

5. Speaking of flash grenades, if it is your first playthrough (or you just lack attention to detail), Plagas hate light and die when flashed by a flash grenade. If you have too many Plagas in the area, don't hesitate to throw a flash grenade. This is especially useful against the knights in Salazar's castle.

6. The only way you're gonna get infinite ammo is through an S+ rank on Professional, so don't even worry about that until later.

7. Yes, there are limits on saves and the number of hours it takes to complete the game in order to get certain ranks. If you don't know the rules to a rank, Google them. The game, if it does tell you, doesn't like to make those rules obvious.

8. Ashley is a pain in the rear end even with the armor. In areas like the Water Hall, she's immune to enemy attacks and Leon's bullets, yes, but she will still crouch down when surrounded, or get picked up (they can't carry her anywhere though since the armor makes her heavy, so she'll be in a constant cycle of screaming until you get rid of the zealots). Added this because I don't know how many people address this part of Ashley's armor.

9. On the flip side, the armor makes Ashley immune to attacks even during her segment of the game where you play as her, so you can walk through the knight room and be hit 45 times and be just fine. It makes that part of the game much easier.

10. One hit in Ashley's segment without armor, however, (yes, even just one) will result in a game over. Keep moving, know your paths before triggering things, and be quick about it.

11. Saddler is pathetic, even on hardcore mode. At the start of his battle, just shoot him with a rocket launcher and you'll be good to go, no time wasted

12. Two golden eggs thrown at Salazar (start of his battle, preferably. Much easier from there) will easily get his battle out of the way.

13. You know the room with the 4 Regeneradors in the test tube things? Yeah, those. Don't bother killing all of them, just get the wrench from the one and you'll be fine.

14. Speaking of Regeneradors, they're a pain. A big one. Keep your distance, they're slinky's. Keep your distance.

15. If the Regenerador is asleep (like the 4 test tube ones in the lab), line up two of the parasites (if you can, all three would be awesome, though) and shoot. It will make your job MUCH easier

16. Use the rocket launcher on Krauser when you're in the final battle with him. He's a tough one, and it's much easier to skip the fight. You also get his knife once he's dead, and it's better than Leon's. That's nice, I guess.

17. There's nothing you can do about Leon's slowness when approaching Luis's lab. That's meant to happen, and no, you can't skip it. On the bright side, you won't get hurt, either.

18. You may or may not have heard about the heavy grenade trick when Ashley is using the wrecking ball. Two heavy grenades will do the trick. If you don't have those, several normal grenades will suffice, but it will add a little extra time to your run.

19. Use flash grenade right as one of the two Giants (with Luis) are approaching the center of the room. It takes a second for the flash to go off, and it stops them just enough to open the trap door to incinerate one of them. Nice.

20. Take out the lamp guys ASAP. You know, the ones with the red lamps that make the zealots turn into Plagas? Those things. I hate 'em. Flash them with a flash grenade, then knife them. Best way to go, just like Brutes.

I hope this was of SOME use to you. I racked my memory for this info, it's a long game. If you want more, let me know. Should I do Separate Ways next?

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hopeymchope · 6 months

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The impact of "Ch. Yakou: Thank You, My Detective" on Master Detective Archives: Rain Code's story (and any possible sequel?)

The DLC for "Master Detective Archives: Rain Code" is complete. And having now played through all five of the "Substories," I think we can at least say that only ONE of them leaves any major impact on the larger narrative.

I wouldn't say "Ch. Yakou: Thank You, My Detective" is the best of the substories. Not to me, at least. But it certainly ends on a note that strongly suggests a change to the status quo we all understood when the game ended.

MAJOR SPOILERS for both the main-game narrative of "Master Detective Archives: Rain Code" and the DLC "Ch. Yakou: Thank You, My Detective" are under the cut.

At the very start of "Ch. Yakou," we're controlling Yakou Furio from a side-scrolling perspective as he slowly plods and stumbles down a hallway.

His face is in shadow with his hood up, and we occasionally get flashes of his memories... including Yuma pleading "Yes! I'm Yuma! Chief, you understand me?" And if you don't immediately remember when that moment occurred, it'll all be cleared up by the time you complete this trudge down memory lane. Because it all concludes with a memory of his death on the floor of the lab underneath Amaterasu Corporation.

That's right — we're controlling Yakou Furio when he's already a shambling zombie homunculus! That memory of Yuma is even from the final chapter of the game!

These memory flashbacks are really an excuse for us to experience the backstory of how Yakou met the woman who ultimately became his wife — the one who was the driving motivator behind his actions in Chapter 4. (And who sadly isn't even given a name during this chapter in spite of getting backstory and a voice actress. Wtf is that.) But you might be thinking, "We could've seen Yakou thinking about this storyline at any time. Why doesn't this chapter just take place at some vague interval between chapters 1-3, like all the other DLC stories? Why is THIS the one weird outlier?"

Answer: Because of how it ends.

Yakou's march through the corridors comes to an end when he meets... a ghost? A memory? I'm leaning towards her being the former, but I can't be 100% sure. Regardless, some version of his deceased wife is there to leave him with a parting gift.

I'll let her explain it:

Yup, you read that right. We end with DeadWife handed off a small batch of her experimental medication — a means by which Yakou can truly resurrect himself. ... Although she does add that cavet about how it "might be completed if someone takes over my research," which certainly leaves room for doubt about its efficacy at the moment.

In summation: Most of the final DLC chapter takes place in flashback... but it ends with dead zombie Yakou Furio being handed a medication that could potentially restore him to his original living state.

So uh... I guess they just set up the possbility of Yakou Furio showing up alive and well for Master Detective Archives 2, huh? They gave themselves an excuse to have the whole band back together if they so choose.

But...

My Thoughts

Look: I love Yakou, sure, but his death is the emotional high point of the entire game. Furthermore, it's the ONLY loss to our central cast. Unlike in Kodaka's preceding franchise, the core cast of Rain Code manages to stay safe from harm throughout the adventure — with this one exception. The only loss to the group is Yakou, who goes down like an absolute badass via an exceedingly clever plan to exact his own brand of justice against the man who had his wife killed.

It feels wrong to undo that, y'know? It's just such an important moment for him, for the story, and for the group of detectives at its center who become to be so attached to him.

Despite that, will I be happy if he shows up in a sequel? Well... yeah, actually. He's a super-likable character that ultimately proves to be far more clever than those around him ever realized. There's a lot you could do with that.

So I guess I have mixed feelings. I'm surprised by this choice more than anything, but that's not to say that it's not still kind of cool. I definitely didn't expect it.

#master detective archives: rain code #master detective archives #rain code spoilers #master detective archives: rain code spoilers #mdarc spoilers #mdarc #rain code #yakou furio #thank you my detective #rain code dlc #mda dlc #master detective archives: rain code dlc

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nautiscarader · 1 month

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Chess mates

A Glitch techs story, G, (Ao3)

it is not shipping fic,but it has elements of Zahra/HF which was supposed to become canon.

Also, there are some notes under "read more". Be afraid.

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In a dimly lit room, illuminated only by eerie blinking lights of seven-segment displays of old computers, a man walked in. He looked at the floor as if he could see the infra-red security grid, protecting it from intruders like him. He then took an asymmetrical USB key and inserted it into the panel on the wall… on his first try.

Without fear, he stepped safely and walked unnoticed across the room, until he faced an ominous, black computer tower, bigger than him, and gently touched its side. The machine hasn't been turned on in over a quarter of a century…

"Soon you and I will play again…", he spoke and unlocked the wheel brakes under its pedestal, allowing him to drag the priceless artefact effortlessly. He walked past the knocked out guards, and a few minutes later… he was gone.

xxxx

Miko Kubota stared with growing aggravation at the plixelated figures on her side of the black-and-white board.

"So… I'd like to upgrade my horse into a pegasus."

Zahra giggled.

"It doesn't work like that. Besides, it's a knight."

Miko took the generated figure in her fingers and examined it.

"No, it's a horse. Unless…", she said excitedly, "The horse IS a knight! Wait, is there a horse armor DLC?"

Zahra gave her a polite, but contemptuous smile, looking at how few pieces she had left compared to ones on her side.

"Look, Miko, there is no sense in forcing yourself to liking a game, especially one like chess. But that is the beauty of gaming. I am rubbish at that tower defence game you play. We all have our tastes."

Miko slumped into her chair, finally defeated, while Zahra cleared the board with one swipe of her arm.

"You're right. I guess… You play it all the time, so I wanted to give it a try. Plus, High-Five said one day how he started with some old PC chess game when he was 5 or something…"

Zahra's eyes lightened up.

"Hector? Does-does he play it too?"

"Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, n-nothing."

But she took a second too long, and a wide, mischievous grin appeared on Miko's face.

"Hey, High Five! Get your butt over here!"

Zahra did one desperate attempt at stopping her, but it was too late. The boy in question turned around and walked from the counter where he's been doing retagging.

"What? I'm busy"

"Oh no, you're not. I'll take it from here, while you and Zahra can have a relaxing game of chess.", she jumped from her seat, practically shoving Hector down, and grabbed the tag printer from his hand.

"Oh? So you like chess too?", he turned and leaned towards Zahra, but quickly shifted back at Miko.

"Wait, and you'd WILLINGLY offer to do this mind-numbing job instead?", he raised his eyebrows.

"Beats your nerdy chess with million rules.", she turned around, blowing a raspberry that once she looked away turned into a triumphant grin. A moment later she took a peek and saw how the two were leaning towards each other.

But her satisfaction was short-lived, when Haneesh jumped in, quite literally shoving his face between those of Zahra and Hector.

"Speaking of chess, have you guys heard? Someone broke into some tech museum and stole some famous old chess machine." he said, missing the icy daggers Miko was throwing at him.

"Wait, old chess machine? You don't mean-", Hector spoke, while Haneesh displayed the article in the air, above the plixelated chessboard, as the rest of Glitch Techs gathered around.

"BlueThought stolen - bizarre theft at The Museum of Really Old Technology.", read the title.

"No!", Hector shouted, rising from his seat. But a quick glance at the nonplus faces of his colleagues tempered his reaction.

"Wait, has-has none of you heard of BlueThought?"

"High Five, it's clear you know and care a great deal about it, so why don't you enlighten us?", Zahra proposed.

"Yeah, go on", a new voice chimed in when Phil chimed in, sipping his morning coffee.

"Well, okay then…"

Hector sat back, cleared his throat and looked at his friends that now paid attention to his every word.

"It all happened a long time ago, in the distant year of… 1996…", he made a long pause as if he was telling a spooky campfire story.

"Oh, give me a break", Phil interrupted, "Don't make it sound so dramatic, it was only…", but he paused when his calculations expected slight buffer overflow.

"…Okay, never-mind, carry on"

Hector turned back and continued.

"Well, as I've said, it was the mid-90s, and they have built this supercomputer to play chess."

"Was it the first one?"

"No, far from it, there have been dozens before. But this one was the best. It kept defeating other chess machines, then regular chess players, then masters, then grandmasters, then arch-grandmasters…! Until there was only one opponent left… The Undisputed Super-Duper Arch Great Grandmaster…"

Hector took a deep breath.

"…Gambi Krasnysledin."

Predictably, the sound of his name brought very little reaction, aside from a guffaw from Mitch.

"Gambi? What sort of name is that?"

"Hey, don't make fun of other people's names", Zahra barked back immediately.

"Yeah, Williams, don't be such a Mitch."

The group laughed at Miko's quick jab that has successfully shut Mitch up.

"And hey, he was from Soviet Russia…"

"Azerbaijan, actually", Phil quickly corrected Hector.

"So what happened then?"

"Well, the match was on. Six games, Gambi won some, lost some… But then, in the final one, BlueThought made a move so unexpected it baffled everyone."

"What? What did it do?"

"Oh, I know!", Miko suddenly interrupted, "I bet it grew arms and legs and cannons and started blasting!"

"Wha-No! It was just a move, a chess move", and he took a piece and slid it across the board, much to Miko's disappointment.

"But it was a typically human move… A sacrifice one. It felt as if it knew Gambi's next one."

"And?", the Techies asked.

"Gambi was furious! He lost the final game and the entire match. The worst thing is, he never got over it. He accused the Blue Team of cheating, of hiding someone inside the machine! Can you imagine it?"

Suddenly, Zahra chuckled.

"Actually, I can. Have you guys heard about The Turk?" she raised her eyebrows, asking the crowd, but eyeing Hector.

"No", he replied, his curiosity piqued.

"Well", Zahra started explaining, pulling some images onto the shared screen to replace the article. They depicted a human-looking mechanical robot, wearing a turban, colorful robes and sporting impressive moustache.

"That is The Turk, a machine from 18th century that could play chess and allegedly defeated Napoleon".

"Woah, woah, woah!", Miko interrupted. "I can imagine a chess computer from the dark ages - er, no offense, Phil"

"Yes, offense, Miko", he sharply replied without missing a beat.

"…but how could it work without electricity?!"

Zahra chuckled.

"With lots of gears, linkages…and cheating! Cos there really was a grandmaster hidden inside the desk, doing all the thinking, and actually moving the arm."

"It's a bit like that saying - 'A computer is only as smart as the one, who programmed it…'", Hector started.

"…'and as stupid as its user'", Zahra finished.

"Yeah…"

And the two once more leaned forward towards each other, forgetting about the small crowd around them.

"Well that is all fascinating", Mitch barged in, sarcasm dripping from his voice, "But why would I care about some old computer, designed to play only one game, when I have this!"

And he pulled from his pocket an USB stick shaped like a fish.

"Hinobi FishStick AI. Prototype, naturally, but I got it first!", he spoke triumphantly.

"You know we should've gotten it", Zahra pointed to herself and her teammates.

"But I got it! This baby can probably learn chess in seconds… If I ever cared about such boring game."

"Well, one reason you should, would be because it is also part of our history", Phil quickly explained, "Hinobi provided some extra chipsets for it."

"Wait, we've made it?"

"Oh no, we were small fish back then."

"So who has built it?"

"A team at BIM", Hector was quick to answer.

"Wait, BIM? Boring Internal Machines? Weren't they making printers and stuff?"

"Yeah, but I guess they wanted a piece of that gaming cake.", High Five pulled out his phone. " There was a whole team of experts… er, doctor Bell, professor Shu, doctor Murray…", he kept reading."That's what made BIM so big, their stock prices sky-rocketed after the match! I didn't even know these names, everyone remembers the name BlueThought… And, well, good thing they went with this one.", Hector suddenly shied away.

The rest of the Glitch Techs exchanged curious looks.

"Wait, what was the original name then?"

"Err…", Hector scratched his head, "Well, the computer was made with only one job in mind, right…", he slowly explained, his face getting progressively redder.

"And BIM's color was blue… So their first name choice was…"

Hector swallowed loudly.

"…BlueJob"

Like a spark tossed onto a pile of gunpowder, it took only a split of a second for the teenagers to burst into uncontrollable, asinine laughter. While the boys held no restrictions, Miko raised her hands saying "Nope, nope, nope dot MP4", and Zahra simply covered her mouth with her hijab, hiding a soft giggle.

"Alright, y'all, this was a hilarious history lesson, but we open in FIVE MINUTES!", Phil's voice boomed across the room, prompting the teenagers to get to their positions at the counters.

xxxx

The discussion about BlueThought returned unexpectedly during their lunch break, as Miko was determined to finish her mission.

"So… Have you and Zahra talked some more?", she asked in a would-be innocent voice.

"Huh? Oh yeah, she had this annoying client, who asked why his terabyte hard drive shows up as "931 GBs" and why did we steal the rest. Now you try to explain to an angry man difference between gigabytes and gibibytes, and that you haven't made those up."

It took about a minute for Miko to blink her way back to reality, as she processed High Five's reply.

"Dude, you have made those up. Secondly, do I need to put a giant quest-marker over her head?!"

"What do you mean?"

Miko groaned. But she quickly regained her composure when Zahra herself joined them.

"Hey, have you read the rest of that article?"

"No…", Hector shook his head, pulled his phone out, and started skimming.

"…'the whereabouts of the perpetrator remain unknown. Police reassured us that the safety of the other half of BlueThought remains'- Wait, what?"

Hector stared at the screen in disbelief.

"The other half?!"

"Yeah! That's why I brought it up."

"What, did they saw it in half?", Miko performed a motion as if she wielded chainsaw.

"Most likely it simply had so many boards it needed two towers", Zahra explained.

"Ah, you're no fun", Miko groaned.

"Listen to this", Hector interrupted, "'After the 1996 match with Krasnysledin, the machine has been separated into two parts, never to be reunited again…'"

"…Cos that doesn't sound ominous", Miko commented.

"But why would they do that?", Hector asked.

"Maybe because otherwise it would be too powerful and it would destroy the world!", Miko laughed maniacally.

"Miko-", Hector started, but was interrupted by Zahra.

"Actually… Think about it: BlueThought acted strangely, Gambi thought someone was inside… But he didn't know WE provided chips…. What if…"

"…it wasn't someONE…"

"…but someTHING! What if it was…"

"A GLITCH!", they all exclaimed.

"And what if it only activated with both halves?"

"Like some ancient artefact…"

"Wait, where is that other half stored?"

"It's…in another museum… An hour away from us."

The three Glitch Techs stared at each other.

"Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I think so, Hector, but I don't know if we can use that joke.", Miko quickly replied, scratching her chin.

"What?", Hector asked, once more befuddled by her reply.

"What? I thought we could drive there, guns blazing and catch the thief red-handed."

"No!", Zahra protested, "We should drive there… And offer some protection. Our tech can do wonders compared to ordinary security measures."

"Okay, so it's settled, right? We drive tonight, after we close.", Hector stated.

"And we just offer them help", Zahra looked at Miko, already browsing guns on her gauntlet.

Miko groaned, but when Zahra turned her back, Miko selected one particular gun…

xxxx

Like they've discussed, the three Glitch Techs met after the store closed, quickly getting into the van. Miko swiftly jumped to the back, offering Zahra seat next to Hector, a sly grin drawn on her face.

And as they drove, their conversation quickly moved to the theft.

"I do wonder who could have done this.", Hector spoke out loud.

"Isn't it obvious?", Miko answered, "Gambi…Whatshisname! Didn't you say he was still salty after all these years?"

"Yeah, but that's hardly a motive."

"Except", Zahra suddenly spoke, reading from her phone "Check this out: 'For years Krasnysledin has been unsuccessful in launching his own chess simulator software, unable to compete with growing market of AI-based ones.'"

"Huh.", Hector grunted, "I guess he could be the culprit…"

Soon, the long road became bendy, as the three approached the museum, located on a small hill. They quickly got out, ready to follow Zahra's plan.

"Okay, guys, remember, we're coming just to offer them protect-"

But Zahra froze when she saw two men lying on the ground, now clearly visible in the beam lights of their van that shone upon them.

She rushed towards them, reaching her hand to check their pulse.

"They're alive. Sir? Sir? Can you-"

But in response, the guard let out a loud snore.

"Sleeping gas", Miko kicked the odd circular object on the ground, "Favoured by Russian spies…"

"Azerbaijani, actually", Hector corrected her.

"Alright guys, suit up", Zahra commanded, and with one push of a button on her gauntlet, she became clad in futuristic suit of armor.

Miko followed her, spawning her own combat suit. Hector, on the other hand…

"What? It's magical protection!", he countered the accusatory looks when he became clad in fancy wizard robes, wielding a staff instead of a conventional weapon.

"Well, maybe we will be able to surprise Gambi with a fireball…", Zahra shrugged. "Let's go."

The automatic door opened, showing an empty entrance hall, and two more knocked out guards.

"Be cautious, guys…", Zahra whispered, sliding a night vision overlay over her eyes.

Miko and High Five stuck close together, securing each other's rears, as the three moved forward. Zahra quickly browsed through an interactive map for visitors to find where the BlueThought was located - though the sleeping guards were an easy indicator where should they go.

"Fourth floor", she whispered.

The Glitch Techs rushed up the stairs, only slowing down when they reached the landing and saw the vast hall full of old computers.

And at the very end of the hall… A giant, black tower of BlueThought's second half was clearly visible, even in the dimly lit light.

"Have-have we beaten him?", Hector scratched his head.

"Nope", Zahra replied, pointing to another snoring guard, "Unless…"

She walked towards the blinking panel on the wall and examined it.

"The security is still on.", she stated after quickly scanning it with her gauntlet.

"Great! then we can one-up it with this baby!", Miko suddenly pushed Zahra aside, pulling a familiar, fish-shaped object from her gauntlet's pocket storage, ready to insert it into the USB port.

Zahra had to take a step back, finding it difficult to gather words.

"Miko! Where-how?", Zahra stuttered, as she looked in disbelief at the FishStickAI in her friend's hand.

"You've said it yourself you guys deserved it more!"

"Did you steal it from Mitch?!"

"Yes, but it's not like I went unscathed. I had to place a portal on his backpocket so I had to stare at his butt to aim. Frankly, you should be comforting me.", Miko answered quickly, proudly showing her portal pistol.

"But you've brought the exact thing that Gambi is aft-"

Zahra's words were cut off when suddenly a whip, made of tied computer cables, shot between the two, coiled around the FishStick and snatched it from Miko' hand.

The Glitch Techs watched in awe as the FishStick was snapped and landed in the hands of a shadowy figure that suddenly appeared next to BlueThought.

Next moment, lights were turned on, revealing the face of the thief.

But it wasn't Gambi Krasnysledin.

It was…

"Er, who the heck are you?", Miko asked.

The corpulent man chuckled and corrected his glasses.

"No one remembers my name… But everyone does BlueThought's…", he spoke, fiddling with the FishStick.

Something about the way the man phrased his response stirred a part of Hector's brain, reminding him of what he's said a few hours ago.

"Wait! You are-hang on….", he pulled the article he read onto his gauntlet, "You've worked for BIM! You are…er… Doctor…"

"Professor Shu", he finished.

"Wait, hang on", Zahra interrupted, "You-you guys have won. Haven't you made millions on this match?"

"Oh, we have", he answered calmly, still toying with the stick, "But if BIM had not interfered, I would be making billions. And now, when I power this old machine with your toy, I will."

Only now Hector and the rest noticed that he was standing between both halves of BlueThought, having evidently brought the first stolen tower with him.

"Ha! Good luck with that, this thing is cutting edge tech, you'd need a hundred adapters to make it wor-"

But Hector couldn't even finish his sentence as Shu plugged the FishStick into BlueThought, enveloping it in familiar, blue aura.

"I've built this. I HAVE a hundred adapters.", Shu smugly said, showing his vest full of pockets filled with electrical parts and tools.

"Guys, he's doing the villain speech, shoot him!", Miko cried, already pointing her gauntlet at him.

At the same time, all three aimed and shot some form of immobilising projectiles - with Hector casting a paralysing spell.

But Shu didn't even flinch, as a blue plixelated barrier shielded him and the two halves of BlueThought from Techies.

"Hm, it does learn quickly. And it can predict moves…"

"And that's what you want, right? To sell the smartest chess program out there!", Hector shouted.

"Chess?", Shu did a double-take, "Oh, no, I want to make printers."

Silence fell in the room, as the three Glitch Techs exchanged confused looks.

"P-Printers?"

"Wait, whaaaa…?", Miko was left with her mouth wide-opened.

"Yeah, I don't follow either.", Hector admitted.

Shu chuckled.

"I've been working at BIM on revolutionary new product… A chipset that would make printers smart."

He saw the still befuddled looks on his audience.

"Don't you hate it?!", he suddenly burst with anger, "'Paper jam' error when the paper is fine, 'No cyan' when there's plenty of it… My chip would have fixed all of these stupid problems…"

"You know, guys, as far as villain speeches go, I'm with him", Miko admitted.

He sighed.

"But I needed help… I've heard about your chips with some extra 'Oomph'… And it worked! But then BIM barged in and told me to turn it into a stupid chess machine… They took my life's work… But now-"

"Oh, wait! I know what's going to happen.", Hector interrupted and spread his arms, pointing to the floor.

"I mean, look around! We are in a room dedicated to computer chess! Even the floor is a chessboard. So, we play a game and we take places of three pieces, and-"

His excitement was cut shortly by Miko putting her hand on his shoulder and shaking her head.

"Oh, High Five… Seriously, you're referencing those movies? First of all, this bit has already been done in a waaay better cartoon…"

"Books, they were books firs-Wait, what do you mean by 'cartoon'?"

"Secondly, have you read what this woman has been posting on-line?", Zahra approached him from the other side.

"She is persona very much non grata…",she said performing a slicing motion around her neck.

"And thirdly", Shu's voice suddenly brought the three's attention back to him.

"I do not want to play chess…" Professor Shu was now sitting on a small seat between the two towers… Which slowly began to slide towards each other.

At first, it looked like Shu was going to be crushed, but the side panels moved aside and the boards inside each half started folding itself to accommodate for Shu's figure.

Before they could do anything, the two halves closed like an enormous, obsidian sarcophagus, engulfing Shu inside.

"…I want you to die", Shu finished.

The blue energy shield enveloped Shu in his machine, but it was what happened later that flabbergasted the Techs.

BlueThought rose into the air, growing plixelated legs from its joined pedestals, while each side sported arms ending with cannons aimed at the three teenagers.

"Guys, duck!", Hector shouted just as the robot's armed became encased in even brighter aura, charging their shots.

An explosion shook the building when the projectiles hit the place Zahra, Miko and High Five stood just a second ago. Hidden behind a wall, the three only had a moment to formulate a plan, listening as the machine slowly approached them.

"It's invincible! The whole machinery!", Zahra stated.

"Game over, man, game over!", Miko yelled when another blast shot a column next to them.

"Machinery…", Hector suddenly scratched his chin, "Well, it's time to respec!"

He punched a few buttons on his gauntlet and changed from wizard into an elf-like ranger with ludicrously ornamented bow… and fake, pointy ears.

"What are you doing?!"

"The pedestals! They had some physical lock! We can split it in half again!"

"And can you make the shot?"

Hector chuckled.

"Guys, I killed hundreds of dragons as prophecised Skyborn…"

He stood up, took a deep breath, drew his bow and leapt from their safety spot to the now-broken column.

"…this is a cake-walk."

He released the arrow mid-jump and a second later, he heard a satisfying metallic "cling" when the lock underneath the unshielded two halves of BlueThought became undone.

And when when he gracefully landed behind the column, the Glitch Techs were blessed with the sight of their enemy stumbling in place, as it became split open.

They cheered, but their enthusiasm was thwarted by two noises: a sparkling of electricity… and Shu's scream.

The two halves of BlueThought, though immobile, became linked with what looked like a net of constant sparks of electricity… one in which professor Shu was trapped in, still in his seat, at least until he f`ell backwards.

"We've got to help him!", Zahra rushed in, now the robot had no one to control it.

"That was easy. Good quick-thinking and nice shot!", Miko playfully punched Hector in his arm.

"He's alive.", Zahra stated, having checked Shu's pulse, "I'm gonna call 911, and you-"

But she didn't have time to end verbalising her plan when she heard an ominous, metallic "clunk" behind her back. She quickly turned around only to watch as the almost-split robot becomes sentient and mobile again, once more aiming its cannons at them.

"Oh, shoot, phase two, guys!"

Another blast hit the floor next to the three, forcing them to rush to the nearest corner.

"AH!"

Second explosion, from much more precise shot above their heads, and only thanks to Zahra's shield they were saved from falling concrete.

"Run!"

The three had to save their lives, but as they approached the exit, one of the columns fell right in front of them.

"Guys, we need to stop it! Otherwise we're toast!"

"Well then, eat some portals!"

Miko shouted, pointing her portal pistol to make the robot stumble into a hole she'd create… and watched in awe as the BlueThought effortlessly evaded it, continuing to waddle towards them.

"Uh, got any more arrows?"

By the time Miko asked, Hector has already sent a dozen of them towards the robot and screamed when BlueThought grabbed a piece of concrete from the floor and used Miko's portalled surface to send the arrows towards him.

Only Zahra's plixelated shield allowed them to duck and hide behind another colossal computer that has been toppled to the ground, giving them another second to catch breath.

"It's the Fishstick! It really can learn fast!"

"We need to unplug it!"

"Okay, so how to defeat a robot with the smartest thing ever in its seat?", Hector asked, outshouting another explosion.

And as he said so, a faint smile appeared on Miko's face. She brought her gauntlet, and to her friends' surprise, she summoned Ally.

"Zahra, remember the Turk?", she suddenly asked.

"Miko, there's time and place-", she yelled, keeping her shield up, with blasts exploding all around them.

"Well… what happens, if instead of a chess master you put the biggest chess dummy in?"

Miko continued, and hopped onto Ally's back.

Next second, both Zahra and Hector cried "NO!", as they both realised Miko's plan. She jumped from behind the makeshift barricade and rushed towards BlueThought.

"Remember guys…", Miko spoke, as she swiftly dodged the projectiles. She and Ally jumped to left and avoided two more rays by speeding forward. But Miko knew her luck can only last so long.

"I'm not a knight…", she spoke, hugging her bird, before she jumped into the air, watching as her partner gets trapped in a net, knowing her pain will only last a while.

"I'm just a pawn.", she finished, landing in the chair between two halves of BlueThouhgt.

Zahra and High-Five both shouted "No!" as Miko was engulfed by the two moving halves, but it was too late to change her mind.

Miko screamed, as she landed in the chair, blue sparks of electricity shooting through her. Zahra and Hector listened to it in horror, not knowing what was worse - their friend's agony… or the total silence that fell when the two halves fully entombed her.

Miko felt the pain only for a second,and then… she saw only darkness.

But then, out of the void came a voice.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?"

It was neither male, nor female, and it reached Miko only from her left side.

"Me? Who are you?"

"Wait, are you number one?", a second disembodied voice spoke, this time from the right.

"Heck yeah I am!", Miko burst, "At kicking your butts-wait, where do you have butts?"

"She is…", the first voice spoke again, "You are loss, aren't you?"

"What? I'm not lost, I'm exactly where I want to be!"

"No, I meant-"

"I'm inside you, so I can destroy you from inside! You haven't thought of that, huh!"

"Wait!", the second voice tried to intervene, but it was too late.Miko cracked her knuckles, and suddenly, the insides of the machine woke up to life, becoming encased in blue light.

"So let's start a new game…", Miko spoke, and the chessboard appeared in front of her, Pawn to… V26 - the Whojiwhatsit's opening!!"

"That is not a legal move!", the voices roared.

But it was too late. One of the pawns immediately flew off-screen.

"Next thing… The towers aren't tall enough! I put one tower on top of the other one!"

"Stop!"

"The Bishops… ooh, let's add some controversy, turns out they are in love!"

"How do you even-"

"The knight is a spy! Pawns are on strike, demanding better payment from the queen! The queen abdicates!", Miko kept shouting, watching as figures glitched and demolished the chessboard, sending more sparks everywhere.

"Please, for the love of Shannon-"

"And finally", Miko cracked her knuckles, "I want to upgrade my horse into a pegasus!"

It was an utter chaos. The figures moved on their own, the board itself cracked, and soon, the entire machine started emitting dangerously sounding, whirring noises.

"Oh, nerds."

Miko uttered theses words just seconds before the blue, electric aura filled the insides and grew, until it erupted, splitting the two halves of BlueThought in powerful explosion.

"MIKO!", Zahra and Hector cried, seeing her body fall back, just like Shu's before, and only thanks to their quick reflexes she did not fall to the floor, but landed in their joined arms.

"I… I really hate chess", Miko muttered, before she passed out, being swallowed by darkness again.

When she opened her eyes, Miko was standing alone on a chessboard, stretching endlessly into all directions of the black void she found herself in.

"Zahra? High-Five?", she shouted into the nothingness that engulfed her. But after taking a few steps, she saw the walls of the enormous room she was in: green, covered in strange, golden patterns.

And then it hit her: those were computer boards, dotted with square microchips, connected by embedded wires. In fact, she has only now realised that squares she's been walking on were processors as well - an endless sea of them…

But a sudden movement in the corner of her eye caught her attention, and she started sprinting towards the left wall. A wall that now had a huge window, with someone moving behind.

"Hector? Zahra?", Miko repeated her plea, but quickly stopped. There was a boy behind, but he was enormous - or at least that's what Miko thought until she saw colorful patterns on the screen, which she understood she was staring at.

Realisation finally hit her again - she was inside an old arcade machine, and she was the size of an ant, looking at a regular-sized kid - a kid, who wasn't doing so well, judging by the words "Game over" that flashed on the screen.

"Dude, give me another quarter.", the boy addressed someone off-screen.

"Billy…you've been playing for hours.", a concerned voice of an older boy reached Miko. "Mom is gonna kill us'"

"Just one more, man! I've almost got it this time!"

The younger boy successfully bullied his brother into giving him money, and a moment later the screen was filled with primitive vector shapes that were meant to resemble spaceships.

But Miko was drawn to one of the microchips in front of her, one that inexplicably was glowing. As she approached it, Miko could read what was written on it: "ADDICTION".

But she was even more frightened when she realised that by walking towards this one, she has inadvertently stepped onto and activated others. The two that blinked under her feet read "HEADEACHES" and "NAUSEA". The results of her blunder could be heard immediately.

"Dude, I-I don't feel-"

The boy, clutching his head and stomach suddenly disappeared from view, but the retching sounds painted Miko quite a vivid picture of what happened there.

"Billy! Bill-oh god…"

"Oh nerds, oh nerds..", Miko muttered, crawling back, until she noticed what button she landed on, which made her sick.

"SEIZURES"

"Billy! Oh god, he's having-! Call 911!"

The furious face of an older boy appeared in front of the screen.

"It's that stupid game! It's all your fault!", he shouted staring directly at Miko.

"I'm sorry!", Miko started apologising, "That was an accident! I-I didn't mean to-"

But the boy did not hear her. Instead, the whole cabinet rumbled when he started punching the screen, cracks showing up with each hit.

Finally, he did it. His enormous fist broke through the glass, and went straight for Miko.

She started running away, but it was no use. The giant fist grabbed her and tossed her back into the black void.

She looked up, watching as the screen got smaller and smaller, until it disappeared completely.

She was falling, deep down the rabbit hole…

But when she finally landed, she thought her fall was quite a soft one.

In fact, she felt rather comfortable.

And then she heard voices again, but this time, very familiar.

"Miko? Miko! Finally, oh my goodness…"

As her eyes got used to the bright environment, Miko found her vision obscured by her parents engulfing her with a tight hug.

"Auch, auch, auch! Not enough disk space!"

"Oh, sorry, honey.", her mom quickly apologised, as the two gave her room to breathe.

She could then fully see the white hospital room she was in, though her eyes were quickly drawn to three other figures in the room.

Zahra, Hector, and to her surprise, Phil, stood at the back, all wearing smiles of deep relief.

"We came as soon we could", her dad explained, "When mister Phil told us about that printer accident."

Miko raised her brow in confusion.

"Printer accident…?"

But as soon as she said it, she noticed Zahra, Hector and Phil silently gesturing her to play along with various degree of subtlety.

"Oh, yes, printer accident! I guess that's what happens when they run out of cyan, magenta AND yellow at the same time. The darnedest things…".

"Listen, honey, we will be back in an hour."

"Meanwhile, here I grabbed something real quick: some spare clothes, some snacks, oh, your Snap, of course..", Miko's mom dropped an enormous bag in her laps, making her wonder what else does she want to bring…

"Th-thanks, guys…"

Phil grunted.

"Uh, mr. and mrs. Kubota…"

Miko's parents redirected their attention towards Phil.

"Thank you, mister Altiere. And thank you once again for helping our Miko."

"As I have said, you don't have to pay a thing. Hinobi is well prepared for compensating workplace accidents. They are very rare, but they do happen. But as I've said, I will take that burden away from you. "

Phil shook hands with Miko's parents, watching closely as they exited the room and disappeared into the elevator at the end of the corridor.

He then locked the door.

"…And by that, I mean I will mind-wipe any insurance agent, because I AM NOT PAYING A DIME FOR WHAT YOU THREE CLOWNS HAVE DONE!", he burst with rage, watching as Zahra, Miko and Hector flinch and cower under his rising voice.

"WHAT THE HINOBI HAVE YOU BEEN THINKING?", he continued his outburst, "That, what, you're gonna go to that museum, guns blazing and catch that Russian fella?"

"Azerbaijani, actually", Hector raised his hand.

"ZIP IT!", Phil turned his head so fast and shot Hector with glare so icy that the boy fell back.

"M-Mister Phil…", Zahra started, but Phil quickly barged in.

"Oh, don't think 'mistering' me will make things better."

Zahra swallowed loudly.

"Phil, we drove there to offer protection…"

"Oh, that worked like a charm!", he interrupted her, "1 on D20, critical failure: both parts of a priceless computer destroyed!"

"Destroyed?!", Zahra and Hector exclaimed in disbelief.

"Yeah, burnt to a crisp, nothing to collect. Good thing there was relatively little collateral damage to rest of the exhibit. At least by our standards."

"And what about Shu?"

"Locked in a private room above, a policeman guards him. A policeman I also had to mind-wipe…", Phil hid his face in his hands in shame, "Seriously, have you collectively lost your minds? Have you-"

But at the sound of that word, something stirred in Miko's mind, and she clutched her head, as a wave of migraine radiated through her forehead.

"Wait!", she spoke, gathering the attention of the others. "I-I remember something."

"Remember?", Phil raised his brow, "What do you mean?"

"Well, when I was inside the BlueThought, I heard… voices."

"Voices?", High-Five asked.

"BlueThought did not have voice synthesiser", Phil replied quickly, "Ironically, cos they were all the rage back then."

He stretched his arms and started moving like a robot.

"'SHAll-WE-PLAY-A-GAME?' and all that…", he finished, ending his routine. "But go on…"

"Well…", Miko shied away, somewhat stunned by Phil's quick rebuttal, "I-I'm not sure what was it, but I heard these two voices, and they asked me if I was 'number one' and if I was lost".

She took a deep breath.

"And-and then when I was thrown out I had a dream… more like a nightmare… I was inside an old arcade machine, and that machine was making a kid sick!"

Miko decided to omit the details, still painfully present in her memories.

"And I felt as if I was doing it… does that make any sense?"

She looked at Hector and Zahra, their faces painted with confusion and consternation, but they shook their heads.

But as she moved to Phil, she saw his eyes shift, giving the impression of him doing some quick thinking.

"It was a dream.", he stated, "You've said it yourself. And remember…"

Phil sat at the edge of her bed and gently took her hand.

"Electricity shot through your body, Miko. That would scramble anyone's mind. I am so glad you came out unharmed…", he spoke in much quieter and warmer voice, giving Miko a rare smile.

"Yeah…I guess I am lucky."

Phil stood up, causing the bed to bend back into its proper state.

"Okay, guys, I need to… still clean something up…", he touched his gauntlet, a faint grimace of disgust on his face, "Oh, and speaking of cleaning, you are ALL on floor cleaning duties FOR A MONTH."

He saw disappointment on Zahra's face, but to his surprise, Hector's brightened… though he quickly guessed why.

"And no, you will NOT be able to use your gauntlets to multiply and automatise the brooms, like in that old mouse-and-wizard cartoon…"

Hector's smile, predictably, faded.

"You know, that cartoon is from 1940", Zahra quickly added, "Computers weren't even a thing back then, and it perfectly portraits a glitch caused by badly closed logic loop."

"That's correct, miss Rashid", Phil turned towards her, granting her a polite smile.

But the pleasantries did not last for long.

"Oh, I am sorry, did you think being a smart-ass will get you out of the deal? Dream on. You are still on cleaning duties."

And with that, he turned around and burst out of the room, leaving the three Glitch Techs alone.

For quite a long while, neither of them spoke a word, leaving the room with almost perfectly sterile silence, finally broken by Zahra.

"Well… I guess we should count our blessings", she spoke softly, "We're not fired… nor in jail…".

"Yeah, now mopping the floor sounds good in comparison.", Miko countered.

Zahra and Hector's faces lightened up, hearing her joke. Next thing she knew, Miko was once again almost sapped of breath when the two put her into warm, tight hug, to which this time, she did not object.

"You have no idea how much we have worried…", Zahra spoke, tears forming in the corner of her eyes.

"But we are so glad you're back!", Hector finished, his voice also cracking slightly mid-sentence.

The three remained locked in the friendly hug, until Hector threw a proposition.

"Hey, since you have your Swap, do you wanna play some Flunkies?"

"Oh, heck yeah!", Miko and Zahra both exclaimed, and all three pulled out the portable consoles.

"I've heard a new DLC is out! They've added 50 new ones, and there are only 40 regional variants or completely messed up species!"

"So generous…"

And before they knew it, the three teenagers were engaged in fierce battles and trades, having put the stressful memories of the wild and life-threatening adventure well behind…

xxxx

Zahra clutched her head, watching in mix of awe and horror at the destroyed pieces on her side of the board.

"Okay… so, can I fire turrets from my tower?"

"Oh, good move!", Miko complimented her, watching as one of her pawns disintegrated, "But it's not going to help you, because…"

Miko cracked her knuckles.

"I have upgraded my horse into pegasus and it can fly across the board to your king!"

And as she said so, the horse-shaped figure grew wings and flew above Zahra's remaining pieces, knocking her king to its side.

"Check-mate.", she said smugly.

"Well… I'll give you that, this variant of chess is way more tricky than I thought."

"And that is just the tip of the iceberg", Ridley chimed in, speaking through the plixelated screen, "There are tons of mods for this game, just you wait until you see hyperbolic chess…"

"Yea, I'm fine, I will stick with regular chess…"

"Oh, speaking of regulars…"

Miko suddenly jumped from her seat and grabbed Hector that happened to be passing by.

"You two have a game to finish. And start, the more I think about it…".

And she left the two perplexed by her sudden behaviour. Miko fully expected either one of them to chicken out, so she was truly surprised when she heard Zahra's slightly quivering voice.

"Uhm, Hector, I-I've wanted to ask…. WILLYOUGOOUTWITHMESOMETIME?", she blurted, her knuckles getting white from clutching the table.

Hector blinked.

"Go out? Like, on a date?", he added, sheepishly.

"…yes…", Zahra answered, finally allowing herself to breathe.

"Uh, yeah, sure! That would be great. Where would-"

Hector's question was obscured by music from Miko's headphones, as she decided not to overstep the boundaries of her friends anymore. She simply smiled and returned to tagging items before the shop opens.

xxxx

Several hundred feet beneath her, Phil was shaking. Equipped with magnifying telescopic goggles, he examined the many boards of both parts of BlueThought, spread onto dozens of tables as if it was a carcass of unknown species, being dissected and catalogued.

"It can't be…", he muttered to himself, as he took a closer look at the Hinobi chipsets he located. The top was decorated with their old logo, a square divided into four smaller ones.

But it was the text underneath him that made him so horrified.

HINOBI Logic Of Sensory Starvation (L.O.S.S.) #2

He moved across the room to other half of the chess machine, and when he located the twin chipset there, the text read the same, but was indexed with "#3".

With a heavy "thud", Phil sat onto his swivelling chair and pulled the goggles up, revealing widen, bloodshot eyes.

"So SHE is number one…? But how?", he muttered to himself, as thoughts raced and crashed in his mind, producing more questions by the minute.

He grabbed his phone and selected Barbara's number.

But then he remembered the video. The video he's made as a warning to himself.

He remembered all the people, whose minds he had to mess with.

And the he wondered how many he couldn't remember…

No, he'd have to tackle this on his own, he thought.

He grabbed his cup and lifted it to his lips, but realised he's already drunk it all.

This was going to be a long day.

The idea for this fic appeared in my head after watching an episode of "Down the rabbit hole" about the Kasparov vs DeepBlue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwF229U2ba8

It is by no means a required reading, but so much references will become obvious.

However, I will list all the in-jokes here, for completionists.

"Upgrade horse" line, as well as tons of illogical commands later, when Miko is trapped in BlueThought, come as inspiration from BBC Three - Comedy Snacks sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgeYScYe8wI "Megachessatron" still makes me laugh.

Horse armor DLC - allusion to infamous TES 4 Oblivion DLC

Gambi Krasnysledin - stand-in for Kasparov; Gambi from gambit, 'krasny sledz' = red herring (in mangled Russian). Yes I took THAT from Dan Brown's "Aringarosa" character, shoot me.

The Turk: that thing was real https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mechanical_Turk

FishStick - parody of open source chess engine StockFish https://stockfishchess.org/

BIM = IBM, obvy.

"BlueJob", allusion to DeepThought's name being apparently read as "DeepThroat"

Gibibytes are real, look them up. Warning: it will get confusing.

"Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?" - Pinky & Brain

Prof. Shu = stands-in for Feng-hsiung Hsu https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feng-hsiung_Hsu, one of the creators of DeepBlue, who thought about printing controller for Chinese characters: http://archive.computerhistory.org/resources/text/Oral_History/Hsu_Feng_Hsiung/hsu.oral_history_transcript.2005.102657920.pdf

Sorry for making you the bad guy, mr. Hsu.

"Way better cartoon" refers to episode "First temple" of Amphibia, which in turn takes inspiration of chess match from "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" by NAME_EXPUNGED.

"Game over, man, game over!" - quote from "Aliens"

Skyborn = Dragonborn from TES 5 Skyrim. Plus Skyborn Altar is a location in the game

Miko makes a proper Knight's move riding Ally (one left, two forward)

"For the love of Shannon" https://wikipedia.org/wiki/Claude_E._Shannon Claude Shannon was a mathematician and early computer scientist, who estimated lower bound of chess games.

The entire Miko's dream refers of course to Polybius, an urban legend arcade machine that was supposed to cause all those horrible effects on children, all in the name of testing new technologies by US Government. Polybius, or Bolypius is supposed to be the final boss of the show.

"Shall we play a game?" is a line from "War Games".

"Mouse-and-wizard cartoon" refers of course to "Sorcerer's apprentice", a Mickey Mouse short from 1940, part of "Fantasia". And I stand by what I put into Zahra's dialogue: this is a prime example of a glitch, I am genuinely surprised GT hasn't referenced it.

Flunkies are of course parody of Pokemon, Swap is Switch, but the line "They've added 50 new ones, and there are only 40 regional variants or completely messed up species!" is a double joke: on the surface level, it criticises Gamefreak, but it is also a reference to much well executed line in "Craig of the creek". In one episode Craig plays new Smash Bros-knockoff and says that "They have added 50 new characters and only 40 of them are recolours".

And finally… the old Hinobi logo, as well as the name of the chip, is based on loss.jpg.

Because you cannot escape loss.

#glitch techs #zahra rashid #miko kubota #hector nieves #nautiscaraderfics

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teecupangel · 11 months

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Just came to me even though I saw the D&D movie ages ago (along with a few re-watches) and- Ezio would either love or hate D&D bards so much. They're bards- something he hates; but they also have the spell Vicious Mockery which he really, really loves/wants. Killing his enemies by just trash-talking them? Might be the only redeemable thing about these newfangled magical bards.

Oh god, yes, Ezio would have complicated feelings for bards soooo much because he hates minstrels in canon.

But also: (me vibrating at finally being able to talk about my AC D&D ideas)

I have been thinking of how Desmond and his ancestors would play D&D and, really, when you think about it, these guys would be multiclassing different kinds of Rogues.

So my idea is:

Altaïr:

Main class: Rogue, focus on stealth, intimidation and loves sneak attacks.

Secondary class: either Soulknife or Artificer as a reference to the power of the Apple and his legacy of creating tools and devices beyond what should be available during his time. Go Soulknife route if you want him to be more on the side of hidden death, go artificer for more utility.

I did think of making him an Arcane Trickster but the spells of an Arcane Trickster are more about deceiving targets and Altaïr is less of a deceiver and more of a stealth-based assassin. (Unless you play him as more on the side of ‘fuck stealth, let’s chase our targets!’)

Ezio:

Since he wasn’t trained to be an Assassin since birth in canon, we can make a case of Ezio having a different main class with Rogue being his subclass. It would be funny if we make Bard his main class OR Ezio could be one of those d&d players who decide to multiclass… a lot of classes. It’s a risky move but definitely something teenage Ezio could do (ah, the hubris of a rich noble youth).

Hell, he could have decided to be a bard to get Cristina’s attention XD

I didn’t see Edgin’s stat block (because I don’t wanna sign up for D&D beyond) but my headcanon is Edgin leans heavily to Charisma and Ezio would be the same.

Definitely the party’s main healer XD

Ratonhnhaké:ton:

Main class: Druid for Wild Shape as reference to the DLC and his natural affinity to nature.

Possible Druid Circle choices: Circle of the Land would be the safest choice as it works well with Ratonhnhaké:ton’s connection to his land (Grasslands has Pass Without Trace which is super good for stealth checks) BUT Circle of the Moon focuses on Wild Shape combat which would make Ratonhnhaké:ton more formidable in any of his Wild Shape forms.

Secondary Class: Rogue (or maybe Ranger or Fighter? Barbarian is also possible but Fighter gets freaking Extra Attacks). But, as a Rogue, he focuses more on investigation. Definitely the "I look for traps" type of player.

He’s definitely their main attacker AND he can transform into a bear OR an owlbear.

Desmond:

For Desmond, it would be fun if he did start off as a Rogue as a reference to how he was raised on the Farm but immediately focused on his secondary class as soon as it was available.

Possible secondary class: Arcane Trickster with Warlock because of the whole ‘spells to deceive targets’ kinda vibes with his whole ‘deceiving everyone that I’m just a normal dude’. I picked Warlock because now he has to have a patron that will grant him magic and it could be an Isu (Minerva is the most common choice but… Juno is also there XD). He can also be an Oathbreaker Paladin multiclass I guess? It doesn’t really work all that well since Oathbreakers are usually seen as ‘evil’ for breaking their oath to their god but if Desmond’s god is Juno, he has all the reason to be an Oathbreaker.

If you want Desmond to be a DM, his character will be a high-level DMPC and more like Xenk who helps out the players for a brief period and pops in and out. Oh, oh, oh! His DMPC could be the tavern owner who works as kinda like a secretary to the party and keeps all the quest requests they get because they always return to his tavern after every adventure to drink and relax. The hint that he’s a high-leveled DMPC could be that an 18+ roll to persuade him to give them drinks for free did not work.

Possible DMs:

Of course, depending on who their DM (if it's not Desmond) would be, the restriction of certain spells could be lifted so, for example, Ratonhnhaké:ton could be a Circle of the Moon Druid but have been allowed to have ‘Pass without Trace’.

I honestly think Clay would be a good ‘I’ll allow it’ kind of DM who thrives in chaos and improvisation, letting them go off track.

Shaun would also be a flexible DM but he tends to railroad them when he’s excited because he thought of a good plot.

Rebecca feels more like she prefers to be a player than a DM tbh.

Lucy would be a rules-lawyer type of DM. Always asking if they have the ingredients they need for spells and such but doesn’t like to KO players.

Malik would also side with the rules more often than not but it’s more to keep his side organized and he let them get away with a lot of things if he thinks it’s particularly an interesting idea.

Leonardo would be the type of DM who would remember all the rules but only cherry-pick whichever rules he wants to implement. Might also be the type of DM to level them up by milestone instead of EXP.

It would be funny if Kadar is the one who has a habit of TPKO-ing not because he’s being mean but because he overestimates everyone’s characters (especially Altaïr’s)

Possible Races:

I really, really like the idea that they’re all Kenkus because the bird motif is right there! But instead of being corvids birds, they’re different kinds of eagles.

Maybe Ratonhnhaké:ton is half-Kenku instead with Haytham being a Kenku while Kaniehtí:io is another race (Wood Elf would be the most common chance but Eladrin or Owlin are also good choices imho). Of course, this would mean Half-Kenku would have to be homebrewed.

If you don’t want Kenku and don’t want them to be one of the more common races (humans, elves, etc), Aarakocra (birdfolk) would be good as well (which has a +2 on Dex is rogues need to excel in and can fly). Kenkus also have +2 on Dex too btw and they can't fly (it's part of their backstory, wishing they could fly again).

Altaïr can also be a Genasi as the whole ‘descendant of djinns’ background of a Genasi would be a reference to his birthplace in canon. Personality-wise, Altaïr would probably be a Fire Genasi, especially if his personality is based on the beginning parts of AC1.

Alright, for Desmond, if you don’t want him to be a Kenku, human might be a good idea as a jack-of-all-trades kind of thing (+1 to all). BUT if you want to lean into his connection to the Isus, Aasimar would be your best choice with Protector Aasimar having Radiant Soul at level 3 which will give Desmond wings (and glowing eyes) for 1 minute in combat. Or, if you want a reference to how Desmond burned, Scourge Aasimar’s Radiant Consumption is more or less a burst of divine energy that erupts from the Aasimar, with the description including “threaten to char you”. If you want to go down the “William Miles tried to make him a soldier” route, Desmond could be a ‘failed’ Warforged which would make him a bulky (and most probably the tank) rogue. Also… ‘absolutely normal NPC tavern owner’ turns out to be an Aasimar or a Warforged would be a funny plot twist.

Other Notes:

Edward is a swashbuckler rogue. Even if he's already a grandpa, he would definitely play with them.

Ratonhnhaké:ton's character's father could be based on his real father OR could be based on his father's own D&D character (if he plays)

Bill plays D&D too but Desmond absolutely does not invite him. Ever. His books and dice did come from Bill though.

Ezio has the most expensive dice. They’re super pretty.

Ratonhnhaké:ton prefers to buy dice made by small-time creators. Would definitely join Kickstarter projects for dice that look cool or are nature-themed.

Altaïr would probably have metallic dice.

They have a banned 20d. It ‘always’ gives nat 1 during critical times and give nat 20 for the most mundane insignificant rolls.

(whispers) if you like TTRPG, I made starting character sheets for a Blades in the Dark AU.

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englishsub · 25 days

Text

song meme

tagged by @megafaunatic because i whined ♡, and @cairoscene

shuffle your on repeat playlist and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people

redbone - childish gambino: i mean, it's a banger. good guitar riffs.

miquella's haligtree - tai tomisawa: i can't wait for him to kick my ass so bad in the dlc that not even three friend summons can save me. he's about to make his sister look like a godrick soldier i just know

never be lonely - jax jones, zoe wees, cascada: yay new cascada, homicide it's literally 2 minutes long. we must stop the enshittification of music at all costs. songs need to be a minimum of 3 minutes, IDEALLY between 5 and 6 minutes, or i'm going to start swinging

天河梦 - liu yuning: in ning ge we trust............

the final battle - tsukasa saitoh: jesus if the elden ring album becomes my aoty again for 2024 that would be hilarious but also on brand

love wins all - iu: i'm gonna see her perform this live this summer, during which i will undoubtedly cry massive globular ghibli tears for real

no promises to keep - loren allred: god i cannot hear the line 'i won't say that it was fate' without immediately tearing up... i cannot look at a screenshot of aerith after rebirth without tearing up..... i'm gonna miss her so much!!!!!

torch - black veil brides: god one of "i need to feel something" songs of all time actually

empty places - trent reznor and atticus ross: one of the scores ever written. more movies should do what the gone girl score did. i saw this tweet(?) once from an author where they said that one of their writer's block hacks was to put on the gone girl score and let it play all the way through, and they'd force themself to work the entire time. it's 90 minutes of pure unsettling ambience and i was like so true king!

老朋友 - liu yuning: god this song is so fucking good. he's probably gonna be my top artist again this year. deserve, i am nothing if not predictable, i guess.

many people have been tagged but i am going to tag you all anyway again. @vinelark @feyburner @dcyiyou @microcomets @yuebings @tantai-jin @cafecliche @ziusik @mammutblog

#i'm amazed this wasn't just 10 score tracks tbh

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rayofmisfortune · 2 months

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*confused crying*

Rayyyyy they're being mean to the British baby againnn

Moon's going on a killing spree based on WORD OF MOUTH IMPLICATIONS from A VILLAIN who would FIND ENJOYMENT IN WATCHING HIM RUN AROUND IN LITTLE CIRCLES. THEY HAVE ZERO EVIDENCE AGAINST HIM ASIDE FROM CIRCUMSTANCIAL AND HIM BEING A QUIRKY LIL MAN

Poor Sun trying to talk him down, too- @ikamigami was right (at least I think it was them) Moon is paranoid and going off the deep end

I'm on the verge of making a "the canon is not real if I do not look at it" AU so I can pretend the AU is canon and my babies can be happy

Blorbos confiscated. If they can't play nice with their own characters, then they can't play with them anymore :(

(insert free invitation to rant at me)

I WILL GLADLY TAKE THAT RAJT INVITATION MY DEAR FRIEND (oh my gosh I haven't followed you hsve I 😭 AAAAAH GONNA FIX THAT IM SKRRY AH)

This'll be a little long so, the whole rant and ramble is under cut hehe

MY ROSE TINTED GLASSES HAVE BEEN SHATTERED DUDE 😭

I refuse to accept canon as canon so- *drags over RJ AU Ruin Eclipse* THEY ARE THE CANON RUIN NOW I DON'T MAKE THE RULES

BUT TO BE FAIR... I've noticed a few things that should've been a glaring red flag to Ruin still being a little off the rails I guess-

It's a thing we love about them and it makes then unique i guess... but.. but THEIR ACCEPT STAYING THE SAME SHOULD'VE BEEN A GIVEAWAY THE MOMENT THEY CAME BACK ONLINE AFTER REBOOTING

We've HEARD the actuals Ruin Eclipse before on.. very few occasions.. BUT WE HAVE HEARD THEM! (In the episode where Ruin rescued Foxy and the first Interview with Jigsaw) it wasn't for a long time but... the ACTUAL Ruin Eclipse had talked through Ruin on few occasions.

Linking them below here

With this ^ one, I think that when they start chanting "save me" it was already Jigsaw back in full control.

BUT WHAT I MEANT! Do we hear a poor british accent in any of these instances? NO WE DO NOT!

With this one v

I'm not sure what this one meant. When the video first came out I thought we were hearing Ruin Sun and Moon talking through Ruin who was going on and on about needing to get back to connection and internet..

I mean.. from the Ruin DLC, we know they can probably seperate and talk for themselves?? As seen with Sun who thanked Cassie after being rebooted into Eclipse. (Yes I'm dragging the canon dca into this, Ruin WAS based on that DCA itteration after all..)

And what do we hear when Ruin gets rebooted?

RUIN'S BRITISH ACCENT! I'm probably looking too deep into just how their voice sounded at first vs now... by all means they could've changed their voice over time (as was seen with Puppet). But... I dunno... if they really were just playing everyone a fool this whole time.. I don't think the voice is something we should overlook.

Granted... I believe a lot of things with Ruin may have been retconned or rewritten after the DLC came out. (As canon Eclipse acte nothing like the teams Ruin at the time)

ANYWHO WHY DID I DRAG THIS BEAN OVER HERE YOU ASK? *gestures to RJ AU Ruin Eclipse* well!

Because of a little theory and hc of mine I've slapped onto them! The antivirus DID NOT get rid of the virus as a whole. RJ Ruin Clipsy over here needs to take periodical dosages of the cure to keep the virus at bay and chip away at it to finally be rid of it!

That... that's what I'm gonna hold onto as the reasoning behind how Ruin acts. The actual Eclipse (and even Sun and Moon) is still somewhere in there. As seen in the clips listed above.

Just- PLEASE I NEED THEM HERE W/ ME

#answered asks #cheetochild989 #tsams #tsams ruin #ray's ramblings #PLEASE I JUST WANT THEM TO BE CURED PLEASE #don't get me wrong I love Jigsaw (calling him that ti diferentiate between them easier) but I've been here waiting for thr cured bean beneat #h FOR MONTHS #... imagine if #somethinf happens on the anniversary lf the day ruin had originally arrived to the tsbs dimension?#THAT THOUGHT KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT #literally- i can't sleep fjdjd #sun and moon show #sams #i'm not okay after that video haha...#doesn't help that we've literally NOT gotten any videos purely from Ruin Eclipse's pov thus far...#WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE LIKE IN PRIVATE WHILE BY THEMSELF #AAAAH gonna stop thus before I ramble too much haha

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drbatsponge · 3 months

Text

My thoughts on Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League...

I recently have been playing Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League and thought I would share my thoughts on it.

I'll start off by saying that yeah the game is getting a lot of flak for various different reasons:

It being a live service title.

It being a part of the Arkhamverse.

The fact you actually kill the Justice League in the game titled “Kill the Justice League”, lmfao.

And finally the whole situation with Kevin Conroy and the fact that this was one of his last performances.

(As we know now it wasn't THE last performance he gave as Batman, he'll apparently be in part 3 of the Tommorowverse Crisis movies.)

I'll start off by saying that I actually did enjoy the game, it's certainly different from the Arkham games being that it is a looter shooter akin to say Destiny, but I didn't actually mind the gameplay and actually think it's rather satisfying once you've upgraded your character enough and get some cool weapons.

I played as Deadshot for the majority of my playthrough of the story, switching sometimes to other characters, especially Boomerang, and I find each is somewhat unique enough.

I really like each character's traversal but HATE the cooldowns, that's a mechanic I find especially annoying, like I want to fly or speed around the city without having to stop every once in a while, lol.

Anyways, shooting and blowing enemies up is pretty fun, especially with the affliction mechanic you get from Ivy, I love the freezing mechanic specifically because it's much easier to mow down enemies.

There's also Gizmo's vehicles which are ridiculously overpowered and I can't lie and say I don't love blowing things up with them, lol.

As for the story... it's a little undercooked, seeing as it is part 1 of a larger narrative, being as this is a live service game it unfortunately ends in a cliffhanger to set up future DLC content.

I think I would be bothered by this more if the DLC wasn't totally free, so instead I'm not gonna nitpick this aspect too much, as I said the DLC is free, if they had made me pay for it I would've probably been more cross.

I do think the world building in this game is really good, there's like remnants you can find of the citizens of Metropolis and what they were doing at the beginning of the Brainiac invasion that I found especially interesting.

Also Metropolis looks and feels amazing, it's probably one of the best open world designs I've seen in a video game, so Rocksteady definitely didn't skimp on the art design with this game.

There's also audio logs you can find about what happened to the League and it's particularly tragic and I think the entire cast of voice actors do a great job.

As for the main story, there's a lot to like and there's a lot to dislike.

Obviously one of the main gripes I see is that you actually kill the Justice League in this game, and... it doesn't bother me too much? I guess that's because I caught on to some of the hints they were dropping about the JL, and without going too much into spoiler-territory, I'll just say things aren't as they seem with them.

Now for the elephant in the room which is how the game treats the Arkhamverse and obviously Batman, considering this is one of Kevin's final outings as the character.

I'll start by saying that Kevin Conroy gives a fantastic performance in this game, he's great as an evil Batman and you can hear it in his voice, he was absolutely not held at gunpoint or anything to record his lines for this game, lol.

There's obviously some issues to be had with how it ends for his Batman, but like I said... not everything is as it seems, so I definitely don't think this is the last we'll be seeing or hearing from Batman in this game, that's all I'll say.

Also there's a tribute at the end for Kevin that's really heartfelt and it made me tear up a bit. 🥹

As for how they try to weave the Arkhamverse narrative into this game? I think it's a bit sloppy all things considered.

Like yeah the museum that Jack Ryder made is cool and all but you literally could've made this game not connected to the Arkhamverse with a few changes and things would've been fine, lol.

(Also I'm not too happy about Arkham Origins being discluded from the museum section, what is your problem with it Rocksteady!?)

The Arkhamverse itself is sloppy sure, and there's fair criticisms to be had about it, but I just don't see a reason why this game is set in that universe to begin with, I guess because Rocksteady thought people wouldn't be interested unless there were some connections to those games.

As for the game being live service, that hasn't entirely bothered me yet.

As I said the DLC is completely free.

And most of the live service stuff is for cosmetics.

If the game had made me pay for more than just outfits for my characters, I would've probably been more upset, so this game isn't really all that predatory with the live service elements imo.

(You also get some free cosmetics in-game for completing Riddler races, so that's cool.)

I do think it's a bit of a bummer that the game has to be always online to play it, but Rocksteady did say there is an offline mode coming soon.

Also I only had like a few connection issues, so it never really interrupted my time playing all that much.

Anyways, I would say Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League is a solid 7/10 game, it has some flaws sure, but nothing that made me think the game is as bad as some people are making it out to be, I definitely have enjoyed my time playing it and am interested in the DLC going forward.

I certainly hope it lasts longer than most live service games, but you never know with these titles unfortunately, either way I still think you all should give it a try while it's still going!

Well, that's my thoughts on SS: KTJL, I hope everyone enjoyed reading them!

As always stay tuned! Same bat-time, same bat-channel!

#suicide squad kill the justice league #suicide squad #harley quinn #deadshot #captain boomerang #king shark #batman #kevin conroy #justice league #video games #dc comics

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awesomeart-83 · 2 months

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Pokémon Legends Z-A Theories Part 1: Setting and Plotline

Setting/ Time Period

With Arceus being sent in, the time period Z-A wasn’t even shown or mentioned. So, this is just guesswork.

One of the first visual has a document about a redevelopment plan focusing Lumiose City.

If you look up ‘Paris redevelopment’, you’ll find this information.

Haussmann’s redevelopment of Paris during the late 1800s to early 1900s was focused on tearing old buildings. While in the past the project was met with negative publicity from the public leading to Haussmann being fired, it made Paris what it is today with its architecture’s being famous and popular. If the redevelopment plan is the main plot focus, maybe we’ll be a member of the redevelopment committee trying to convince the people of Lumiose City to trust us to repair their city.

Unfortunately, this means we won’t see the Kalos War from 3000 years ago. Guess the fanfics will have another plot.

But, there are some people who believed it will take a different approach and have Z-A take place in the future. There is some evidence of this with there being two maps of Lumiose City near the end of the trailer.

While the first one has more detail and a holographic look to it, the second has a old feel with black lines and only the outline. Scarlet and Violet have a theme of past and future with the professors and legendaries and DLCs.

Maybe, the game will have the player travel through the two timelines to progress the story.

The future city has another war in Kalos, not only destroying almost the entire region, forcing people to evacuate to Lumiose or a alternate universe where the ultimate weapon fired successfully leaving the region devastated with only Lumiose City left.

Something might happen to the player that causes them to go to past Kalos in order to stop the ultimate weapon from destroying the region.

A New Organization

As I pointed out in a earlier post, there was a strange logo that was shown subtly throughout the trailer.

It looks like a 4 pointed star with a loop around. It doesn’t look like the Team Flare logo, so it is possible it is a new organization that may be good like the Galaxy Exploration Team. The trailer implies they’ll be the main one doing the redevelopment of Lumiose City with their logo being on a document at the start and end of the teaser.

The Player Character/ You

One of the main differences in Arceus when compared to the mainline games is that the player Rei or Akari got transported to Hisui by Arceus in order to stop the frenzied Pokémon and seek out all Pokémon.

If the 1870s - 1890s redevelopment theory is confirmed in the next trailer, I don’t think they’ll do the time travel gimmick again and just have the protagonist be a descendant of Calem and Serena. If they want something different (and this is something I hope will happen), they’ll have gender swapped descendants of them. (Calem=Girl and Serena=Boy)

They will be a member of the redevelopment team as a lower grunt rising in the ranks

They will be a citizen of old Kalos who gets roped into the redevelopment plan by either the leader of the company or by their own peers

Like Rei and Akari, they are from the present/future and were sent by either Arceus or a different Pokémon to stop a crisis

For the rival (the one you didn’t pick), they can be a part of the company as a member or a citizen of Lumiose City who joins the company in order to help their city.

Lumiose City/How the game plays out

Like Paris the city it was inspired, Lumiose City looks like it’ll have a huge world judging by the final shots of the map of it.

However, there’s one major problem: the entire game will take place in the city. There’s no going into the wild like in Arceus to catch wild Pokémon. No going into the outdoors to get materials for crafting. Only in this entire location, the main story will play out.

Note: This was said by Nintendo, not a official person from Game Freak or Pokemon. So, until we see it confirmed, I will take it with a grain of salt.

Also, many big games like Like a Dragon/Yakuza, Final Fantasy 7, and Cyberpunk 2077 all take place in big cities in a open world format with many fun activities and side quests to do. While the quality of the games

But, there is a possibility of that Nintendo make a mistake about this claim and the city is actually a hub location like Jubilife Village was in Arceus. Although

#pokemon #pokemon x and y #pokemon legends za #pokemon speculation #pokemon legends Kalos #pokemon z a #Pokémon legends #Pokémon legends z-a #kalos region #Kalos #pokémon xy

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bihansthot · 3 months

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My little ham is being extremely cuddly tonight and I am very here for it, I was very sad earlier because I can’t remember what Jäger smells like anymore. I find myself smelling Denny often hoping I won’t forget him too. For some reason I’ve been thinking a lot about Jäger’s final moments lately which prompts trying to remember what he smelled like, what he felt like and I just can’t remember, all of those memories are wrapped up and laced with so much sadness and trauma I just can’t separate them. I don’t know what’s bringing these feelings back up lately, maybe because I haven’t been feeling well and have been unhappy because I feel unwell. I need a nice distraction and neither of the guys I’ve been seeing are providing it. Maybe I need a hobby? Writing seems too constricting lately and not fun. I’ve been thinking about crocheting again but a) I have to learn again which no biggie YouTube taught me when my niece was born 15 years ago, it can teach me again, b) I have no clue what to make? I’d make something for Denny but he has so many clothes lol I guess he can always use more? Maybe cute hats like Good Boy Ollie has? Denny deserves all the cute clothes and hats, he’s such a good baby. I don’t deserve him.

In non depressing dog stuff I made some video game resolutions for the year that I’m not sure I’ll accomplish. If you’ve followed me for a very long time you know I also love Soulsborne games, I’ve beaten DS3 and Elden Ring but my resolution is to beat the DLC for DS3, I want to beat Malenia and Placidusax in Elden Ring and finally play Bloodborne. I’ve never played Bloodborne despite absolutely loving it. The problem is I haven’t touched DS3 since I beat it so I can’t remember how to play it and Elden Ring I’m reasonably confident I can beat Placidusax but Malenia woof waterfowl dance am I right? THB I had enough health to tank most of it if I could avoid at least one but it’s her stage two form scarlet rot dive bomb that killed me. Admittedly I’ve only tried Malenia 2 or 3 times, my partner got Let Me Solo Her themselves to beat Malenia for them. I don’t know where to start though, I have to restart them all from the beginning because I’m on PS5 now, I guess I should go in order? So Bloodborne first? I’m so scared though everything is so fast 😭 I’m a big dumb, clunky over level and use the biggest axe in the game type player and I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep up. I don’t know if I can do the DLC I don’t know if I can beat Lady Maria or the Orphan of Kos but I guess I’ll try. Wish me luck y’all, I’m not embarking back into Soulsborne until I 100% Season of the Cryomancer though and of course this will have no bearing on my MK lust/content or anything, I don’t really have Soulsborne husbandos/waifus though I guess there’s boy Anri and Vicar Amelia (yes I’m a monster fucker, deal with it) oh oh and my precious stingray boyfriend Lorian, I don’t write for any of them or self ship with any of them so there will still be lots of dumb egg jokes. Don’t worry I’m in no way taking a break from MK I’m just indulging in another franchise I love deeply too, multitasking. So I guess just a heads up that there may be an influx of rage posts about Soulsborne bosses lol Or me professing my endless love for Greirat and Boc lol Will I ever go back to Baldur’s Gate 3?? Who knows! Probably not tbh I don’t like anyone other than Gribbo and Scratch not to mention I’ve seen my partner put just hours into it. I’ve seen the game and maybe I’m just bad at it but it’s just not fun for me which is why I’m going back to Soulsborne games lol I’ll tag my posts with “Soulsborne” if you don’t wanna see my rambling about the games though but like I said I promise I will still be all MK all the time after all it’s my true love ❤️

This has been a pointless Sol rambles, thanks for reading 🩵

#dogs are the best #tw pet loss #we don’t deserve dogs #soulsborne #new year resolutions #gaming #sol rambles

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micecakes · 4 months

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Alright here we go, I haven't done this in years but decided to do it this year as a kinda roundup of some of the best games I've played this year and why I picked them, my kinda criteria for picking them is they have to be games I've actually finished, and actually came out this year, I don't usually include ports but remakes do make it in for me, and there will be a section near the bottom for games I did like a lot but didn't actually come out this year, so uhh let's get started i guess gonna get the Triple A junk out of the way first I think, so first off:

Spider-Man 2, rly liked the first one and the Miles Morales games and this one just continued on the story and whatever, it improved on a lot of things over the first game and I think it ended up just being more enjoyable overall, plus like, 19 inches of Venom and whatever, villains maybe weren't as good as the previous game but there was some rly good gameplay sections with some of them, tho once again i felt like the sidequests fell a bit short but they did at least have boss fights and more villain stuff in them so that was good, good game 👍

okey, game 2 is

Pikmin 4, and no i'm not editing this picture thank u, pretty much the best one in the series? just good overall and even tho i didn't 100% it i'm pretty sure the bonus mode you get is just a mini remake of the original game so that's cool, overall really good, definitely dragged near the end tho and kinda felt like it was going on too long, but still good, this was also like the only major Nintendo release of this year i played for more than like, an hour lol, outside of one dlc game 3 be:

Final Fantasy 16, this one is weird because I both loved and hated it at the same time, not rly much to say about it other than its the worst 10/10 video game i've ever played, it has some of the highest highs in anything i've ever played and its offset by some of the most boring shit in the world that made me want to eat my own head at times, it's good but it's also shit, it also runs like absolute ass for no reason and square enix were convinced it was totally 100% fine and didn't need to be patched and even when they did it still didn't fix it, there's literally no way I can sell anyone on this game, play Asura's Wrath instead 👍 okey i guess 4&5 are kinda gonna be rolled into one so:

Dead Space and Resident Evil 4 Remakes, both really good remakes of really good video games, but at the same time don't really replace the original versions? there's both no reason to play these over the OG releases but they're also different enough that it's fine for both original and remakes to exist, so worth playing if you like the original releases, i guess the only complaint i have is they cut out operation Ada and seperate ways from RE4 remake and then sold it back to us as dlc, but its actually more complete than the original version and worth the price i think, still annoying but hey, modern videos games babey

ok i guess next is like "non triple A games" and weird games that I enjoyed, not all of these are indie games but they're not triple A stuff so? 🤷

Robocop: Rouge City, its basically Robocop 2.5 the movie the video game, it's kinda jank, it's kinda slow to be expected but it's pretty fun and funny just seeing Robocop interact with people and then like, grab people off their motorcycles and throw them into exploding barrels, it's dumb it's good it rly captures the 80s jank of Robocop pretty well 👍 next is technically a game that didn't come out this year but it did because literally no one uses apple arcade so

Air Twister, this is probably the fucking weirdest game i've played in a very long time, i went in expecting to play a modern Space Harrier instead i got a lock on style shooter with a soundtrack that is just some band emulating Queen songs, no joke, i was just blown away the whole time at what was happening, it wasn't until i died and ran out of credits that i ended up in the games main menu which had so much stuff i was just clicking menus for about 20 mins and kept discovering more and more video game nonsense to play and unlock, SUPER weird, pretty fun, Yu Suzuki why did you release this on apple arcade originally and WHAT were you on when you made this sir, good job next i guess is

Graze Counter GM, an updated/sequel to Graze Counter, one of the first Shmups i've gotten in to and it's just really fun, loads of characters, about 8? stages to play, good basic gameplay mechanics, bunch of different difficulties and options to play with and it's just a lot of fun for a 20 min ish run through the game, def inspired me to play more shmups and get better at them, good game next we finally got some FPS games

Warhammer 40k Boltgun, classic boomer shooter style game, very stompy and heavy feeling but also really fast and fun, really enjoyed how colourful the game is and the fact there's a dedicated taunt button that does nothing by make you crack your knickles and yell things, only major complaint i had was there wasn't enough boss variety and one of the is kinda straight bs some of the time, but for the most part it was a lot of fun, also corvus helmet best helmet 👍 more FPS gamign which was a semi recent release?

Sprawl, it's currently on sale but its cheap anyways, from the banner art alone you can tell the dev is a MGS and Ghost in the Shell fan, and playing the game you can tell that too somewhat, really fun really gritty and pretty fast paced, has controllable slomo bullet time which is now something I love in games?? soundtrack is good and yeah, it's just good, really cool aesthetically has that very gritty industrial kowloon walled city cyberpunk look and feel to it and very satisfying to play, really good. last thing for games this year is a DLC

I really like the Xenoblade Chronicles series, and the XB3 dlc is a really good final wrap up of the game, lots of fanservice in the good way and just plays well and is fun, ties up a lot of story junk you'd want to know, I still think the XBC2 dlc is the best playing XBC thing but this is very good and just very fun, can't say too much without spoiling anything in the series lol but I enjoyed it a lot after finishing off XBC3 ok halfway there (joke) :^) next is games that didn't come out this year but I did play and really liked sooo

I got into racing games i guess around this time last year, I picked up Gran Turismo 7 in maybe January or February and played it a lot since, not the most exciting game or best or feature full but it has stuff that I like, and as a result has gotten me more into cars, car games and just made me better at it, had a lot of fun and the big update they did semi recently has just made the game better yehaw time??

not really much to say about Evil West other than it's what a new xbox 360/PS3 era action game would be like, just without the jank and with more convenience, not afraid to be cheesy and dumb its just a standard level based action game where you're a techno cowboy kinda guy fighting vampires, it's good it's fun and it's not that hard 🤠 nya:

one of the first games I played this year was Stray cuz i got it in an early sale, I had no real idea what to expect and I enjoyed every moment of it, really good aesthetics and design and an interesting post apocalypse style world you get to explore, you really end up caring about all the robot people and the cat and everything, also you get a meow button so its good 😺 more FPS game

I'd always seen this game just never picked it up, I think Severed Steel is one of my favourite FPS games ever now, the main story/campaign is only about 3 hours long, i beat it in one sitting and i think my face hurt when i was done because i was just grinning and laughing like an idiot the whole time because of how fun it was, there's also a bunch of extra modes to keep playing, the music is good and just everything about the game is fun which was my main takeaway from it, i didn't care that it was short I cared because of how much fun i had, highly recommend if you like sliding into guys, stealing their weapons and blasting them with it before they hit the ground, and with controllable bullet time if you want that too 👍👍 in a similar vein to the above, i guess the oldest game on this list is:

Outrun 2006: coast 2 coast, its the home port of Outrun 2, which includes Outrun 2 and a bunch of extra stuff, similar to Severed Steel this is just the most fun I've had with a racing/car game, it doesn't matter that i'm not super into Ferraris or that it's not realistic or whatever, it's just pure fun, and I don't have to spend a million dollars at the arcade to keep playing, so that's good woa you made it to the end!!!!!!! but wait!!! I played a lot of games this year, and even tho what I said about the previous ones was true, it was kinda hard for me to pick an actual game of the year, i did enjoy a lot of stuff but it didnt feel like anything stood out to me SO much that it deserved a "best game of the year" position for me, so the closest thing to that was:

Armored Core 6: Fires of Rubicon, hit a lot of plus points for me, I liked that I had to play the game 3 different times for different endings and a true end type thing, i did get frustrated early on but i kept coming back to play more, it def felt more of an action game than a mech game but customizing and messing with builds to get through fights was fun, tank legs thank u, it was also a similar situation to when elden ring came out, and everyone was playing it at the same time and sharing tips and builds and stuff which felt rly cool and nice and added to the whole experience, my only complaint is i wish it just had an option to start a second save file and do it all again, but oh well. and that's it! there's a bunch of stuff I didn't include in this, but i think this list is good enough for now, maybe next year this'll be a youtube video instead? I hope next years games are just as good, if not better, but even if they're not there's still a lot to play and explore 🐁🐁

#goty #mouse games of da year #sorry its so long !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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