#(​I’m joking btw keep drawing Michael)

[chloesimaginationthings]

👏 VANESSA 👏 IS 👏 NOT 👏 GETTING 👏 ENOUGH 👏 LOVE!!!

VANNY FANART LET’S GOOOO! 🔥🔥🔥

#ask reply #Michael has had enough art hand over your Vanessas!! #(​I’m joking btw keep drawing Michael) #tysm for drawing this!! #we all love Vanny here 😤

[4dtk]

heloo! can I request hand-holding (3), kisses (6, 12) hugs (32) and touching (12) with renjun, thank uu^^

why do my renjun drabbles always end up so long LOL . btw age old kiss under the mistletoe <3 never too early for x’ams imagines i guess LOL, enjoy!!!

hand-holding, 3: cold hands in warm hands

hugs, 32: long-lasting hugs

kisses, 6 & 12: slow kisses, kisses on the corner of their mouth

touching, 12: pushing a strand of hair behind their ear

renjun’s eyes couldn’t leave yours. well, more of your body as you talked with mark, gesturing grandly about his new single that he dropped. he remembers you playing it whenever you met up, rapping the lyrics back to him that only had renjun groaning in embarrassment. staring around the room, he scans over the members in the party with a smile. having had taken a rest from the all the alcohol earlier, he was glad to be left alone to his… indulgences where no one could interrupt him.

“hey.”

“gah! wh- what the hell?” haechan shocks him out of his stupor, easily avoiding a smack on the back from renjun. his laughter gains attention from others, but otherwise they just return a cheeky laugh back while conversing. soon, the other is able to pick up on his loneliness, partially blaming it on the crazy challenge he dared renjun to do earlier. the partial reason, however..

“are you ever going to confess to (y/n)?” haechan raises a brow.

“keep it down! christ, hyuck. just because some members here have their partners on their arms doesn’t mean i should rush to make (y/n) mine.”

“oh, but you’re so obvious that it’s tiring to watch,” haechan sighs, taking a swig of his drink. the both of them admire the theme of the party for a little bit, red and green decorations hung from the spacious dorm, held on the fifth floor because they were the ‘cleanest’ (against jungwoo’s wishes and with kun’s agreement, they settled for an early celebration on the 23rd).

the speakers blasted christmas music, no doubt from the talented mr. bublé who was a compulsory artist to listen to, along with other renditions of christmas songs that just felt good. fairy lights from the members’ rooms were brought to be set up. plus, with ten’s recent sunset light purchase that he bought for the felines, the room was soon bathed in joyous lighting that could rival decorations outside.

“dude. the members had to have their partners fly in because they’re both so busy. (y/n)’s already there, c’mon the opportunity is right there — and this is the one time you’re able to unwind and relax. just go for it, man,” haechan is relaxed and laid-back, haven’t yet experienced the palpitations whenever one looks at their crush. the only exception was probably a rookie idol back then, but that was old news.

“if you happen to want to cuddle or fuck later, we’ll leave you alone.” this time, renjun was able to land a punch to his shoulder, expression turned into a scowl.

“you’re right, i guess. i’ll see what i can do.”

a gasp, “renjun admitting i’m right? rare.” renjun gives the other a lighter smack with a smile, chugging down the last bit of his water before heading over to you. he feels like he’s walking through snow whenever he wants to get to you, the resistance strong with each step. curling and uncurling his fingers, he loosened his freezing hands as you wrap up the conversation with mark.

“renjun! have a good rest? donghyuck was trying to avoid you for the past fifteen minutes, because he knew you’d get another headache if he talked to you.”

“i’m having one right now,” renjun jokes, emphasising his point by rubbing some fingers on his temple.

your laugh is like first snow. or like the heater that’s currently fuelling the house with heat. he isn’t sure what to choose, but he knows he likes it and wants to make you laugh more.

“do you need to rest again? i’ll promise i’ll be quiet-“

“delivery?” someone calls out. with a shout, you’re already at the door, receiving another batch of booze since the grocery shopping you went on earlier severely underestimated how much these boys can drink. “oh- uh-“ renjun swoops in like prince charming, hand brushing over yours while he steps forward to help you. they tingle like electricity, deciding against pulling away which would leave you to struggle.

“miss (l/n) (y/n) and mr huang renjun. please freeze in your place,” haechan’s annoying voice penetrates throughout all the conversation happening and you swear the man beside you mutters a curse as you two try to haul the booze past the member. “place the beer down. you aren’t going anywhere, anyway.”

before any of you can ask for an explanation, he points above you which displayed a mistletoe. “surprise!”

the delivery man’s voice scares you, until you realise it’s johnny, hidden under a very smart disguise of a fake moustache and a replica of the uniform. your mouth hangs open even when johnny squeezes past you with the booze effortlessly hanging from one arm, sighing inaudibly at the absence of the heavy drinks.

“so?” the members are looking at you expectedly like they’re watching a movie. there’s endless thoughts swirling in your mind even when renjun grabs your hand with his timid one, but it calms you down just a little when he brushes a thumb over your skin. it’s like you’re waiting for the director to yell out ‘cut!’; even you thought you’d do better on a movie set.

“(y/n)-“

he’s cut off by your lips crashing onto his, garnering a few ooohs and ahhs, including the satisfied smiles and sighs of relief. renjun’s lips taste like a mixture of the candy cane drink he spat out earlier, and some whiskey with coke. it’s a confusing taste, but with the pace your lips are moving with each other, it allows you to draw out every other time you imagined kissing huang renjun.

it doesn’t even come close, if you’re being honest and even if you’re standing in front of countless other men he calls his members in a ridiculously sized k-pop group. renjun deepens the kiss when he turns his head, cold, but clammy hands coming up the cup your cheeks. they shock you for just a bit and there’s a shameless smile into the kiss as renjun continues to deliver pecks onto your own.

he chuckle and it sounds like well-written christmas movies, or the very first listen to michael bublé’s christmas album. you aren’t sure what to choose, but you know you like it and want to make him chuckle more.

in a blink of an eye, you’ve grabbed his hand, heading straight for one of the rooms that you often see when renjun’s gaming with haechan. you recognise it straight away from the set-up and in a rush to shut the door, you stumble just a bit before meeting the hard wood of the door in a roar of laughter.

“great, now they’ve locked two people out,” haechan nudges johnny.

“three!” johnny’s partner calls from the doorway, which makes the living room shake in another round of cheers, getting back into the natural flow of things before everything got interrupted by a plant. faintly, you hear them ask if the plan worked, and haechan’s prideful answer right after.

slowly, you peek out of your hiding spot being your hands. renjun’s eyes shine, “so you like me.” it comes out flatter than he expected and he winces.

you snort, taking a step closer to him on the door, half leaning on it. without any prompting, the other’s arms encircle your waist, now pulling you flush against him while your head rest on his front. the next moments are spent in comfortable silence, the rowdy party going on outside giving you a little of a main character moment. your breathing syncs up, chest expanding and contracting with the deep breaths you take. there’s always a puff of mist leaving your lips, but it appears less now that you’re in your crush’s arms.

“yeah. i like you,” you nod, coming to face him after the tight embrace. his fingers touch your cheek experimentally and you flinch, the pads freezing cold to the touch. maybe it’s because he didn’t touch whiskey for the past half ’n hour. gently, you take his hands in yours. “why’re you always freezing?”

“ugh. you figured me out. tactic to get you to hold my hands.” throwing your head back in a silent laugh, you shake your head in disbelief.

“at least you haven’t caught on to me, holding your hands down so you won’t have to-” a kiss to one corner of his mouth. “restrict me from-” another to the other. “doing this.” lastly to his lips.

renjun entertains your dramatic flair with his jaw hung open. it doesn’t last long, though. “why would i restrict you from doing that?” you shrug, letting go of his hands now that they gained sufficient warmth. renjun silently decides it’s not enough, but first, he wants to kiss you again. his fingers are less freakishly cold now, brushing against your skin to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. it sits there obediently, dissimilar with the way you did it. ‘it always falls out!’ you want to tell him later, but first, you want to kiss him again.

“huang renjun, you drive me crazy.” grinning, renjun knows it’s your way of confessing before his lips collide with yours with the fervour that hallmark movies lacked, and ironically, a plot which hallmark movies embodied. and just like that, you wish you could hold a pause icon over your head, because you wanted this to last for as long as it could.

#nct #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct smut #nct angst #nct x reader #nct drabbles #nct soft hours #nct timestamps #nct dream #nct dream headcanons #nct dream x reader #nct dream scenarios #nct dream smut #nct dream angst #nct dream fluff #nct dream imagines #nct dream soft hours #huang renjun #renjun fluff #renjun smut #nct dream renjun #nct renjun #renjun angst #renjun x reader #renjun fanfic #renjun scenarios #renjun imagines #huang renjun x reader

[slasherhaven]

How would Bo, Thomas, Michael, and Brahms react to seeing their fem s/o getting kissed and hit on by a male friend? Luv u and ur writing btw 🧡💛🤍

Thank you so much! ❤ They’re kinda long so I put them under the cut. Enjoy!

Thomas Hewitt:

You were a member of the Hewitt family not a captive so you were allowed to keep in touch with old friends, as long as they knew you were loyal to them. And you were.

But when your friend since childhood said that he wanted to visit, you were sure the family wouldn’t allow it. You brought it up away.

Hoyt had been dead against it but Luda May said she would consider it. She and Tommy didn’t want you to feel trapped in the house, like you couldn’t have a life at all, but they knew the risk.

Finally Luda May said your friend could visit but laid out some ground rules. He could stay for few days maximum and you had to make sure he didn’t see anything suspicious. During that time, the family would be on their best behaviour. You appreciated her for that.

And so your friend came to visit, greeting you with a hug and telling you how he missed you since you moved away.

You introduced him to the family. Warning him that Hoyt and Monty could be a little difficult but to just ignore them. Luda May was welcoming enough but you knew that she would be watching him like a hawk, she had to watch out for her family after all.

Then you introduced him to Thomas, the man you had been telling him about for so long. You had forewarned him about the mask, just telling him not to comment on it, and he politely shook his hand. 

It all seemed to be going well.

The few days went by quickly, catching up with your old friend.

But the other members of the family weren’t so optimistic about the whole thing.

Thomas had noticed it almost instantly, the touches and smiles that your ‘friend’ gave you. But he tried to shake it off. He trusted you and loved you, he just wasn’t sure about this man. But then he convinced himself that it was his own insecurities messing with his mind.

But...other’s had noticed it as well.

Luda May noticed it instantly, she could be observant like that. Your friend seemed to be straight up flirting with you, even in front of the other family members (including Tommy). The looks your friend would give you and Tommy when you showed any sign of affection towards him.

She also noticed that you seemed completely oblivious to it.

The whole thing definitely bothers Thomas. He already thinks that you deserve better than him and what if your friend was that better thing? And what if you realised it?

He’s likely to become more distant towards you during those few days. Though he will be glaring at your friend whenever they’re in the same room.

He’s more likely to grow distant when Hoyt teases him about it, saying that you were going to run away with your friend. He didn’t want to believe it but if he was right?

It all comes to a climax on the day your friend is supposed to be leaving. You walk him to his car, giving him a hug goodbye and telling him to let you know he got home safe. The family watching from the house.

But before you can pull away, your friend holds you in place.

Before you can question him, he starts talking, asking you to go back with him. He tells you how he missed you and how you belong back ‘home’.

Of course you’re protesting, telling him that you’re staying here with the people you call family.

Speaking of the family, they’re all ready to act. Luda May ready to send Thomas out there. Even Hoyt is getting a little protective, you are family now after all.

And then, in a last attempt to convince you, your friend kisses you.

The front door is already opening and the family is coming out.

The whole thing saddens Thomas. All the flirting had been hard to watch but you never responded to it. Now, seeing another man kiss you, it was just breaking his heart. For a moment, he really thought that you might just leave him.

Yet he also found his fists clenching protectively, knowing that you hadn’t welcomed the kiss. If somebody made you comfortable, he’d kill them. Or at least he’d want too.

Luda May can’t help but smile when you push your friend away, chastising him for kissing you like that.

But you were still kind. Telling him that you didn’t have those feelings for him, that you were happy here, that you loved Thomas, and telling him that he should just leave.

Your friend went to argue with you but you insisted that it would be better if he just left.

Once your friend’s car disappeared out of sight, you headed back up to the house, where the family was waiting for you.

Luda May ushered the others away, letting you and Thomas talk alone.

Thomas has seen and heard everything. You saying that you were happy here and in love with him, unashamed of him and even proud of him, would warm his heart.

The sight of that man kissing you still hurt him. If you hadn’t pushed him away, Thomas might have just killed him for touching you against your will like that.

Thomas is going to need some love and affection, just some reassurance that you meant what you said. You are so happy and so in love with him. Just give him some hugs and kisses, making sure to remind him that you’re here with him because you want to be. 

In away the whole thing was a little reaffirming to him. That you had been given a way out, another (and in his eyes, better) option, but you so quickly and confidently chose him.

God, he loved you and was so glad that you loved him too.

He’ll wrap his arms around you, holding you to his chest. 

Your friend had told you that you should go home with him but you and Tommy both knew that this was your real home, the Hewitts’ were your family.

Just make sure to show him lots of affection, holding his hand, lots of hugs and kisses. Compliment him, make sure you tell him how much you love him. He’ll be feeling much better real soon.

Michael Myers:

Michael was bored and you weren’t home. You had gone out to meet a friend and he didn’t know when you would be back.

So what was he to do? It didn’t take him long to come to the rational conclusion that was to find you and follow you around time. It’s just something that he does when he’s bored, since he couldn’t just walk through town like a normal person. You knew about this hobby of his and didn’t mind so much.

It didn’t take much searching before he found you, walking beside your friend you had mentioned but name that Michael had forgotten.

The two of you are talking and laughing like friends do but Michael can’t really make out the conversation from how far away he is.

Then you seem to check the time and come to a stop, turning to tell your friend that you should be heading home.

Now your friend seems nervous, rubbing the back of his neck and shifting his feet. Michael isn’t interested in him but is curious as to what he seems to want to tell you.

Then the man says something that makes you frown, your face softening sympathetically. You apologise and shake your head.

Then, in a fast but gentle gesture, this friend of yours is kissing you.

Michael has never felt this feeling before. He’s furious, his possessiveness skyrocketing...or is that jealousy? No, it can’t be.

Either way, his fists are clenching and he’s moving towards the two of you. He is going to kill a man right in the middle of the street, he knows he is and he isn’t even going to try to stop himself.

But then you push the man away, looking more annoyed than sympathetic now.

And Michael comes to a stop, a little...curious?

You chastise the man and now Michael is close enough to hear some of what you are saying.

You reiterate that you aren’t interested and that you are already with somebody.

Your friend apologises but you tell him to just go home.

As you turn to head home, you spot Michael’s looming figure hiding among the shadows. You had become extremely good and seeing him where others wouldn’t even notice him. 

As usual, you can’t tell what he is thinking or what he is going to do.

You slowly start making your way home, checking over your shoulder to make sure that he is following you and not your friend.

You knew that he had seen everything and you worried that you would kill the poor man. You might be angry with him but that didn’t mean you wanted him dead.

Luckily, Michael follows you all the way home.

What really angers him is when you plead for him to spare your friends life.

Why? Why should he spare him when he would put you in that position even then you told him that you weren’t interested? He deserves what he gets, Y/n.

But you explain that it would complicate things, draw too much attention to you both. It’s not worth it. He won’t be a problem anymore, you promise.

Reluctantly Michael agrees. But if your friend pulls another stunt like that, he will kill him.

Affection and discussing feelings can be very difficult with Michael. But you’ll remind him that you’re only interested in him anyway, that you love him. 

He’ll accept the affection you give him but he’s processing a lot of complicated emotions right now.

It may turn into possessiveness so what I’m trying to say is that you’re in for one hell of a night. A lot of gruff “mine”s coming from him. He’s got to prove a point, you know?

Brahms Heelshire:

Most of your socialisation outside of the manor was done on the phone with old friends.

One of your friends finally decided that he wanted to visit you, joking that you must be going crazy all alone in that huge house. Of course, you had told your friends about the job that brought you to the house. They just thought you were caring for the house while the owners were gone.

You had actually discouraged your friend from visiting but he insisted, pretty much leaving you with no choice.

So then you had to tell Brahms and he wasn’t impressed. One of the rules was ‘no guests’ so of course he wasn’t happy about it.

You had told him that it would be a week at most and that you could introduce him as your boyfriend. 

With enough convincing, Brahms finally gave in but he wouldn’t really want to meet your friend. He doesn’t want anyone other than you knowing about him so he decides to head back into the walls for the week. 

And he is watching everything.

As soon as your friend arrives and greets you with a hug, Brahms is already fuming. He’s selfish and wants you all to himself, even he knows that, but you’ve been making progress on these issues of his so he isn’t quite as impulsive. He will wait and see what happens...

Everything bothers him.

Your friend is really...friendly. Too friendly by Brahms’ standards. Why does he always have to be touching you.

Still, Brahms can’t help but smile when you tell your friend about your new boyfriend. He knows you can’t give him too much information but Brahms is glad that you’re talking about him.

But that doesn’t seem to be deterring your friend...

Still, every night, Brahms will join you in your bedroom, getting your full attention then. 

He expresses that he doesn’t like your friend but that doesn’t surprise you at all. You promise him that he has nothing to worry about and that he’ll be gone before he knows it. 

Then your friend started talking about how you should quit the job and move back home, that you were missed and you belonged back home.

Brahms was furious but relaxed a little when you protested. Saying that this was your home now, that you had a relationship here and were happy here.

And, as if in an attempt to convince you of his argument, your friend kissed you.

Brahms burned with anger. If you didn’t act quick enough, Brahms would have done something. And he probably would have hurt your friend for two reason. 

One being: this man just came into his house and is trying to take you away. 

The other being: you didn’t want him to kiss you and how dare he do something that you didn’t want? How dare he lay a finger on you?

Luckily, for your friend, you pushed him away and put some distance between you both. 

You knew that Brahms must have seen that and that your friend was now in danger, so you told him to pack his bags and leave.

Of course your friend tried to argue and explain himself but you knew that you didn’t have the time for that. 

You had to get him out of the house before Brahms did something.

Brahms watched even closer than usual, making sure that the man left without a fight. 

You showed your friend to the front door, telling him that you just aren’t interested in him and that it was wrong of him to do that when you had already told him you were in a relationship.

You closed the front door and locked it, just in case he tried to come back and explain himself again.

When you turned back to begin your search for Brahms, you almost collided with his chest. He was already there, staring down at you silently.

The first thing you thought to do was tell him not to worry and to just let your friend go, he wouldn’t be bothering either of you anymore.

You promise him that you aren’t interested in your friend at all, that you’re still here with him because you really do love him.

Brahms is definitely mad at your friend but he’s also in need of some major love and attention. It had been almost a week of sharing your attention and then...that happened. 

He’ll wrap his arms around you and you instantly return his embrace, letting him bury his masked face in the crook of your neck. For a moment there, he thought he was going to loose you.

But this doesn’t last long. He is still a cheeky little shit and will find an excuse to make reparations in the bedroom. 

Either claiming that he has to show you why you chose him or, if he’s feeling more bratty, that you have to show him just how much you love him.

In the end, Brahms is going to sulk about it for a while but also feels smug about you choosing him so quickly.

If your friend shows up again, it’s going to be difficult to convince Brahms to spare his life for a second time.

Bo Sinclair:

You lived in Ambrose with the three brothers and you were happy there but you still kept in touch with people from your old life.

Then your childhood best friend said that he wanted to visit.

You knew that Bo would be against it, just because of protecting the town and his family. He couldn’t risk an outsider coming in like that.

But you finally managed to convince him. He told you that he was your responsibility, you had to make sure that he didn’t see anything suspicious. If new people showed up, a new bunch of victims, you had to get your friend out of town so they could work. But most importantly, if your friend did find out their secret, you had to be prepared for how the brothers would have to handle it.

So, your friend came to stay with you for a few days.

Your friend greeted you with a hug, saying it was good to see you.

You introduced him to Bo and he was polite. Bo knew how to put on that charming and polite persona.

Your friend never meets Vincent, he stays away from you all. He might meet Lester once or twice if he drops by for something. But mostly, it is just the three of you.

Bo knows when somebody is flirting and he can see it in your friend straight away. He knows that your friend has come here with the intention to convince you that he would be the better option for you.

And he just can’t let that fly.

When you’re talking to your friend, Bo will come up to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you into him. Telling you that he’s going down to the garage and he’ll be back soon, giving you a kiss that is a little less than decent before pulling away and heading out.

It’s like Bo knows when your friend is about to walk into the room, and he always makes sure that when they step into the room, he has you in his arms or in a slightly compromising position. Just to drive the message home. You’re taken.

Bo really does like rubbing your relationship in your friend’s face when he realises that he has feelings for you.

He can deal with it when it’s just little things, just a bit of flirting that you don’t reciprocate. Bo can handle that and even play with it, like he is doing.

But if your friend gets a little too close, he doesn’t like that at all.

If your friend is handsy, there will be threats made when you aren’t in the room.

But all in all, the visit goes well.

That is, until your friend crosses the line way too much.

He thought Bo would be down at the garage, that the two of you would be alone for a while.

That’s when he started talking about how you shouldn’t be spending your life in such a little town in the middle of nowhere. You should go home with him, back to where you grew up. He’d start talking a little bad about Bo, and now you’re questioning his intentions of coming here.

You tell him that he’s wrong, that you’re happy here but appreciate his concern.

But he is persistent. So, he cups your face in his hands and kisses you, just as Bo walks into the room.

You push your friend away, too shocked to formulate a sentence or a question. 

Bo saw what happened and he can see that you hadn’t expected the kiss. He’s seeing red but even he can see that you aren’t to blame here.

It doesn’t matter how long your friend had been planning on staying, it’s time for him to leave.

Bo orders him to get his things and leave, though he probably adds a threat to that.

You know that it’s for the best. If your friend doesn’t leave, he just might get himself killed.

Just before your friend leaves, you make sure to tell him that he had no right to act the way he did. You’re happy in Ambrose and you’re in love with Bo, he isn’t going to change that. 

Bo is giving him a smug ass look from behind you.

You and Bo watch him leave the town, knowing that Lester will make sure he actually leaves and doesn’t end up stumbling upon anything that would put him in danger.

Once the car is out of sight, you and Bo head back into the house. Where Bo lets out the tension he was holding on to.

All he wanted to do when he saw that man kissing you was kill him but he held himself back to not upset you, even if he didn’t deserve it.

But now he’s ranting about the audacity of that man. How dare he think he can come into his home and try to steal you away from him? He’s lucky that he didn’t kill him.

Best thing to do is just grab him but the collar and pull him down into a passionate kiss. Reminding him that you were here with him, that you chose him, that you want him.

That pretty much does it. But he will pick you up, wrapping your legs around his waist, before carrying you back to the bedroom. Reminding you who your man is.

#thomas hewitt x reader #thomas hewitt #michael myers x reader #michael myers #brahms heelsire x reader #brahms heelshire #brahms x reader #bo sinclair x reader #bo sinclair #slashers x reader #Slashers #slasher #the boy #the boy 2 #the texas chainsaw massacre #ttcm #tommy hewitt #halloween #house of wax #my writing

[judehayward]

lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: ju-Das juda-ah-ah… this depressed goblin bastard is honestly my fav male muse like i dnt typically stick w male muses tht long i struggle bt................. i’ve played him the longest of them all n always seem to return to him. jst cnt stay away. way 2 attached to this absurd little man. it’s nai btw!!!! (josefine on the main). launches right in to jude’s intro without further adieu..... (u can also find his playlist here) 🧙‍🎨

「douglas booth & cis-male」⇾ hayward , jude, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he is a pisces and 23 years old. he is studying ART, living in moris and can be protective, laidback, nonsensical & apathetic. when i see him i am reminded of wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects, lead marbles instead of eyes. ⇽「nai & 23 & gmt & she/her.」

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger’s rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot

jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was born

they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out

they were ok to him like they weren’t fully Bad bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans. pretty absent n irresponsible. they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they properly knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care the way parents shd. they lost his birth certificate n dnt remember what they put as his middle name so he’s jst kind of like hmmmm............. n gives himself a diff one every time ppl ask. past variations hv included: jude pauly hayward, jude maureen hayward, jude van winkle hayward. says all of these w a very straight face

despite this he does hv some nice memories w them. usually he definitely sees them fr holidays. frm being rly young their christmas tradition hs been to get a bunch of chinese food like a Banquet Feast n spend all day smoking n drinking into the early hours. perhaps not the healthiest or most responsible bt 😔 jude rly likes it it’s kind of the one time of yr he feels he has a proper family

they r both suuuuper into the arts. rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a successful gallery in sheffield n san fran

(trauma tw) as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws being responsible n looking after someone. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed bt he also??? has some gd ones..... it was a strange environment bt he’s a survivor

(death n grief tw) he hd to do community service bc he kind of… hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he… stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like… drivin around the place sort of… tryin nt to cry…..KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw… broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room……. this ws like 4 months ago nw............ just some fun lore fr u all

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing he’s jst going fking wild on the keys in a trance...... i mean he’s gd bt… chill

he’s rly sarcastic n so deadpan like he’ll say smthn completely ridiculous bt he’ll say it w his whole chest so sincere.... it’s rly hard to tell when he’s joking or serious honestly. has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably secretly draw them. does NOT share these drawings w the person he hates being openly sentimental. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women like tht energy...........

he has rly bad insomnia so he like never sleeps idk how he’s Alive straight up. please go to bed sir............. he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at radcliffe doing art, focusing on fine art like painting is............... the thing he luvs most...... his style is kind of.......... taking normal things n painting w surreal colours.... he likes A LOT of colour in his paintings which is kind of a stark contrast to his personality bc his world’s so.... washed out n grey............ lovs art n philosophy n literature n photography n music.... 

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges on all his clothes. wandering the streets in plaid pj bottoms n dr martens eating frm a cereal box without care in the world. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a laidback time....... doesn’t rly like when ppl take themselves too seriously........ likes strange ppl thinks the world is mde richer by them n likes when ppl can jst bounce back jokes at him without being like erm. u dont make sense mate. bc frankly he can come up w some strange stuff sometimes.............. talking to him cn b like navigating a dark n bendy road without a flashlight....... 

(drugs tw) once did shrooms n woke up naked in the woods curled up in a pile of leaves. to this day he recounts this as his werewolf transformation. hs no idea hw he ended up there n when ppl r like are u not. concerned jude. tht is so strange? he jst shrugs like.............. dunno....................... suppose i’m jst a werewolf upon occasion. so casual abt it. jst truly does Not care abt most things at all..... almost to the point tht it’s concerning (sometimes way past the point tht it’s concerning too :/)

this is the desc on an aesthetic i mde of his style once n sums it up well!! ‘additionally: too many pairs of trousers, a hideous amount of white t-shirts all somewhat stained with charcoal, a jumper so thinly knit it almost looks sheer, chipped teale nail varnish, a cream corduroy jacket with a cigarette hole singed onto the cuff, vintage wiry reading glasses he almost never wears, a freshly rolled cigarette behind his ear, a thrifted t-shirt with a warped bart simpson wearing a stethoscope with the caption ‘bard knwos cardiology’ and two crops hacked that way with kitchen scissors that he sometimes wears to paint.‘

EXPERT at rolling spliffs like jst. mkes them so precise n neat....... it’s his super power. his fav thing to smoke frm is banana flavour papers.................... linking 2 this he’s like. bad w emotions bt he does try..... once his friend (maggie) ws sad so he brought her a spliff wrapped in grape flavoured paper bc it’s her fav fruit n jst like. wordlessly gave it to her. it’s the thought tht counts.....

PLOTS!!!!!

plays bass in a band which cld b a fun connection to get together??? i picture the music being like surf rock type like........... mac demarco...... bt he also luvs elliott smith n glass animals n the cure n metronomy n neutral milk hotel n talking heads n radiohead n mazzy star n wolf alice...................... idk jst like.... within tht ballpark i suppose i imagine it being................

mayb ppl he shares classes w?????? i’d like someone tht does a similar course n they hang out tgether when it comes to trips fr the module to museums or exhibits or wtever................ they both stand in front of paintings analysing it rly wrong n saying stuff like hmmmmmmmmm....... i do declare i see a, uh..... large phallus protruding from the centre of this image...... moves something in me.......... n some elderly person looking at it besides them is like Ergh. sickened n disgraced. leaves w a brow severely furrowed

someone he smokes w on the moris rooftop late at night when he cnt sleep??? mayb they’re up n cnt sleep either fr whtever reason n it’s become an unspoken kind of ritual where they always clamber out n find each other there n jst wordlessly keep them company

jude is kind of like. protective almost to a fault sometimes........... mayb some guy he’s punched......................... if they hurt someone he cares abt........... typically it wld hv been a girl he ws kind of like. affected by his first relationship bc she had a bad home situation n ever since jst wnts..... to Protect it’s kind of like an automatic instinct ingrained in him nw 😔 all sounds very noble n well bt sometimes it cn b a bit of an escalation i wnt lie

perhaps a few hook-ups??? jude doesn’t tend to sleep w ppl he rly knows bc he just..... likes it to b an impersonal thing doesn’t like getting attached fr various reasons so mayb they only kno each other via this OR mayb he bent his rules a bit..... cld either work seamlessly or hv added drama if one side hs mre feelings or whtever

currently living in moris w 2 roommates bt i’d love some neighbours perhaps..... mayb someone tht lives directly nxt door to his room n is like ://// bc he plays music loud n weeds always drifting frm his window n mking their room smell if theirs is open too................. or mayb they get on..... mayb there’s a rly mean seagull tht lands on a branch n poos on pedestrians n they both commentate on it frm their windows like david attenborough...... they’re like he’s at it again. they’ve named him n everything

HONESTLY anything if u have an idea hmu i’d love 2 hear it.......... rubs my hands tgether in excitement to plot up a storm w u all

#ruhqintro #depression tw #death tw #grief tw #neglect tw #trauma tw #drugs tw

[hackedmotionsensors]

wait, when did gneil say "he draws the line at calling aziraphale and crowley" gay? didn't he just recently tweet that "interpreting them as gay is completely valid, no need for the whole 'but the purity of male friendships!~" song and dance"? given that crowley and aziraphale are kinda supposed to be based on gaiman and terry pratchett and their friendship though, i completely get why gaiman wouldn't want to take the step of making the ship actual canon tho. maybe, if terry was still alive...

I’m pretty sure that original post was a joke and if you really have a question about it you should ask the person who wrote the original post and not me as all i did was reblog it. 

So here’s basically whats happening.

Before the tv series came out if asked about Crowley and Az his go to was the usual straight writer answer of “Well I think that’s fine if you see it but I didn’t intend to write it that way. They’re just ~*~*~*~BROTHERS~*~*~~” or just friends. or since they’re angels (this one was recent btw) they don’t have a sexuality the way humans do.

Which is ridiculous because the whole point of their story is that they’ve “gone native” their whole saving grace(hah) and their whole reason for doing the things that they do is that they are so HUMAN-LIKE in EVERY WAY. Both Az and Crowley are HUMAN in their behavior. In their compassion for Adam and Eve, in their enjoyment of human culture, in the fact that they dance, in that inherently they have free will and imagination which demons and angels don’t. 

So they’re human-like in EVERY RESPECT except they can’t, by the author’s choosing, have a romantic relationship.

Which okay whatever if this was still the books.

Now lets jump to now. Amazon creates this show. Neil is the main writer for it. He has already had years of people telling him how much Crowley and Az’s relationship mean to them. YEARS of this. But he still refuses to change anything in regards to his stance other than if you say “Oh this really inspired me. Oh my parents finally understand how i feel when I’m gay. Oh its so great to see two men really love each other and a whole episode dedicated to how much they love each other”

Except that their gay relationship is still played as a joke to outsiders. Or its still “He’s my best friend”-ing it. So yeah maybe Neil is saying this as he’s writing it as oh this makes me sad because I miss Terry so very much. AND THAT’S FINE.

But at the same time he’s taking credit for writing a gay romance that isn’t allowed to actually show them being gay.

The actors, the editors, THE SOUND DESIGNERS (somebody to love? cmon), LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE INVOLVED is performing this as a romance. As a very british Gay romance. Except that the main writer won’t change the text enough to let them ACTUALLY go there.

So that’s why its a problem. The reason its a problem is because he’s taking pats on the back for something he didn’t ACTUALLY deliver on. Everyone else CLEARLY fought tooth and nail to get us there but as the head writer for the show and one of the creators of the book not allowing us to have this LAST LITTLE BIT, but still keeping the completely pointless Anathema/Newt fuck fest, is credit where credit isn’t deserved. (you can see a similar thing happening in American Gods where the Gay Djinn character is maybe a page or two in the books and then entirely forgotten where Bryan Fuller was like guess who’s a new main character)

All this being said the show is absolutely wonderful and even if Neil Gaiman won’t outright give us what EVERYONE ELSE IS GIVING US, fucking michael apparently based a lot of his depiction of Aziraphale from fandom views of him[supposedly. i heard that from a friend on twitter so I don’t have a verification on that but god all the other interviews where he’s blatantly saying Az loves Crowley are a pretty good indicator as that being a true statement], 

ALL OF THIS BEING SAID the show is wonderful. Its an amazing love affair even if we can’t get that last little LAST LITTLE BIT that would be just perfect.

I don’t have any real beef with Neil tbh. Even with all this. But its just a case of a dude doing the very VERRYRYYYYYYY bare minimum and getting treated like he hung the gay flag on the moon.

#Anonymous

[ineffablefool]

Some meditations on being a fat human being, in the era of Good Omens series fandom.  Not n//sf/w, really (hi my name is Jack I’m ace and supremely uninterested in sexytimes), but really personal and also long, so I’ll stick it behind a readmore.  I suppose if another fat human being had thoughts they wanted to tack on, they could reblog to do so, but I don’t expect this to be a particularly rebloggable thing.  Just thinkin’ out loud (via clickety fingies).

I have been... okay, more or less, with how my body looks, for a while.  (Minus all the things about it that make me get “she” and “her” and “ma’am” everywhere I go, with exactly three glorious exceptions in the ~4 years since I realized that those weren’t right.  That is a whole ‘nother bucket of bears.)  I’ve been on Tumblr over on my main account since 2013, and the entire time I’ve been immersing myself in fat positivity and in fat activism by wonderful accounts like ok2befat and bigfatscience and thisisthinprivilege.  So I’ve been basically okay. 

It sucks how hard it is to find clothing that I like which doesn’t completely exclude my particular set of proportions.  It sucks that my saint of a boss had to literally fight our HR department to change the company policy on flights for business, because the previous policy would have forced me to fly 18 hours in an economy-class seat much smaller than I am when I visit India in a couple months.  It sucks that my body is still the “oh, is this disgusting thing a dealbreaker for you” question on dating websites, and that it’s still the butt of every third Trump joke.  It sucks.  But I’ve gotten better over the years at the skill of seeing my body as not the problem, but an innocent bystander in everyone else’s bullshit.  Clothing and plane seats and humor don’t spring from the earth to be harvested and consumed raw.  People decide how to make them.  People can decide differently.

Anyway.  I’ve been pretty much okay with Body.  Body’s fine.  It’s a good pal.  It gets me where I need to be, and it lets me run around in little circles pretending to be an airplane when I’m bored.  I spend some time with it in partial states of undress now and then (I’m too much of a germaphobe to ever be a naturist, let’s put it that way), just so I can keep myself familiar with what it really looks like.  Y’know how the horror movie monster is really scary up until they actually show it?  Same thing, except fewer blood squibs.

But here’s all this Good Omens stuff.

A lot of the fandom has embraced the slight pudginess of Michael Sheen’s Aziraphale, and a lot of artists are putting that into their work.  And a blessed wonderful few aren’t stopping there.  They’re drawing Aziraphales that are more than just a tiny bit pudgy, sometimes that are just plain fat, unquestionably, not just “a little larger than the very thin rendition of Crowley” or “wearing a lot of layers” or “the clothes are just cut that way”.  Really, really adorable renditions of fat angels who are clearly loveable and clearly loved because look, the artist drew them together, Crowley is right there and he doesn’t have that look on his face by accident.

(There are book renditions floating around too where people have headcanoned a fatter Aziraphale, but I’m still talking miniseries right now.  Also, there are plenty of sort of... cartoony/stylized/silly renditions out there with fatter Aziraphales, but I’m not really talking about those either.  There’s a sort of area of artwork where the style or the scene being depicted is such that my brain is surprised when any of the characters is fat, because this is a pretty drawing of two people kissing or whatever and therefore obviously they have to both be thin.  Obviously.  Internalized fatphobia nonsense.  But that’s the kind of artwork I’m thinking when I type all these zillions of words.)

And that’s a choice, to say “I’m an artist and I’m going to draw this character who is worth being the recipient of a 6000-year-long love, and that character is fat, and that’s just how it is”.  And to keep doing it in one piece of art after the other.

speremint was the first artist I noticed doing this, drawing an Aziraphale who is loved by Crowley (the sacred apple tree art still cracks me up, poor Crowley) and who is definitely fat and who is adorable, and if you’ve read the notes on any of my fics you know that she singlehandedly changed how I picture my headcanon’d Aziraphale.  Then I discovered that dotstronaut and lonicera-caprifolium and toastedbuckwheat are out there too, giving me lovely art to shove into my eyeballs and extend my lifespan potentially indefinitely.  I bet there’s more I haven’t noticed yet.  I want there to be like a hundred more I haven’t noticed yet.

And this all ticks over into the second half of what’s apparently a manifesto at this point, boy it’s a good thing I’m a fast typist, which is the fact that in addition to being a fat human, I am also romantically and aesthetically attracted to fat humans.  It’s something I’ve pretty much literally had no opportunity to ever express, because in my Real Life I don’t really admit to having feelings per se and also I am... not the type of human who is the recipient of romantic thoughts from others.  Or who would ever act on my own unless the other party said something first.  (Which nobody ever has since 2006, you guys.  Supremely not the recipient of romance over here.)

So there’s this fandom environment where a fat character is being celebrated and loved, and I started writing fanfiction for the first time this century, and all of a sudden there’s a place for me to express feelings that I’ve been sitting on since I finally realized in about 2001 what it was about that one guy in high school that made me want to hug him, even though I also couldn’t stand his attitude.

Going through my fics from oldest to most recent, it is clear that I am getting more and more comfortable with that expression.  It’s getting ridiculous.  At this rate, in three weeks’ time I’m just going to be writing “Aziraphale is fat and beautiful and I just want to cuddle his belly forever” over and over again for five thousand words at a stretch.

But that means Brain is thinking a lot about how Aziraphale is fat, and beautiful, and perfect exactly how he is.  And then Brain looks down at Body and is like “hmm.  Same hat.  ineffablefool is fat too.  Therefore, [insert math lady meme here]”.  And I will be, like, “okay, so if Crowley were to put his hand on Aziraphale’s belly, what would that feel or look like?  How would his internal narration describe it?  Well, there’s a belly right here, let’s do some science.”  And then the thoughts that I start associating with the experience of my own body are completely good thoughts, all of them, because they’re going to be going in Crowley’s head.  And my written Crowley is never going to be anything other than madly in asexual romantic love with my written Aziraphale, and is never going to see him as anything other than perfect, physically, no matter what he looks like.

And it’s just being a really good positive feedback mechanism, I guess is the tl;dr version.  External validation (via art, via others’ fics, via comments on my own fics, btw if you’ve left any of those then you are also helping extend my lifespan, especially the people who come back to comment on each new story, yes I recognize you and I do a little happy dance every time a familiar name pops up, please rejoin me on Monday I’m going to post my dickwheelie letters fic) is all well and good.  But the mental loop of “own body can be used for realistic descriptions of a fat body -> descriptions based on own body are all lovingly positive -> own body is therefore described by self as lovingly positive” is... it’s nice, is what I’m saying.  It’s very nice.  Last week I expressed, out loud in a group of coworkers, my desire that something be more size-inclusive.  Do you even know how many deaths I would once have suffered rather than say something like that in mixed company.  But why shouldn’t I say it!  There’s nothing wrong with my being fat!  In fact, it’s within the realm of possibility to see it as a positive thing, so let’s just all admit that we have eyes and then move on!  Geez!

So those are some of my thoughts on being a fat human being, in the era of Good Omens series fandom.

now if I can just score a hot fat ace Ineffable Significant Other out of this fandom, I’ll be set

#ineffablefool original post #if you want to give me any bullshit on any of this then Please Don't #i am well acquainted with ignoring trolls on my non-GO account #and am equally capable of applying that skill over here #but if you don't have any bullshit or but-what-about-health or but-my-tax-dollars then i'd love to conversate #ineffablefool is on about fat bodies being lovely again #i don't know why i keep forgetting that tag it's a very important tag #ineffablefool does some Deep Thoughts

[ask-anyone-from-the-tick]

Bellow the cut are my spoilery thoughts after watching season 2 of the Tick

I’m kind of glad Dot turned out to have a super power because being the only hero with no powers is sort of Arthur’s whole thing. I also like that she didn’t outshine Overkill and just step over him, but still looks up to him a bit and appreciates his approval. They feel like equals, and he’s still an awkward turtle socially.

THEY WERE SO CUDDLY AND AWKWARD ON THE COUCH, Overkill is def the kind of guy who can’t move if there’s a pet on his lap. He’s so soft I can’t...

I LOVE that we get to see more of Joan and her relationship to her family, she’s awesome and I love and support her. She’s just doing her best, and I hope those lobster babies come to visit.

Superian and Larry’s relationship continues to baffle me just a bit. Larry seems to just be a willing servant to cater to his whims I guess. I kinda hoped they were more buddy buddy than that. Apparently it makes Superian feel better to toss him way up and catch him lawl

The way Hobbs reacted when Tick broke the arm wrestling machine thing makes me wonder if Tick is actually the strongest superhero in the world, maybe second only to Superian ??? Or at least the strongest ever registered with AEGIS.

I really, REALLY like Sage. He’s fantastic. He’s also really attractive, is it just me? DAT VOICE THO. [take me on a wild nipple ride! jk omg I’m sorry]

That twin woman who was impressed with Arthur’s nerdy organization came off as REALLY OBVIOUSLY flirting with him, and his reaction was to just shrug it off like he wasn’t in to her, even though she was gorgeous, and Tick immediately picked up on it that she was flirting and got DEFENSIVE AS HELL like she was taking Arthur away and I just-- that’s pretty gay guys. That’s really... wow. And then she comes back and continues to hit on Arthur and he never once acts like he’s in to her, I don’t... I don’t know what to say but if Arthur suddenly starts pining over her in season 3 out of no where I’m gonna kms [not because he’s not gay but because it’s pretty clear he’s not interested in this woman. Don’t establish this and then force romance after we’ve seen there’s none.] Also when Arthur was picking out fancy clothes Tick had REALLY specific fashion descriptions and opinions on what looked good on him. He was like enjoying Arthur modeling clothes ajdlfdjas

Someone needs to draw Overkill being lovingly rescued by dolphins STAT

I honestly, unironically, think Edgelord’s entire look is cool and he’s very handsome. I think he looks like if Johnny Depp and Adam Driver had a baby.

SUPERIAN FEARS THE TUMBLRS. We’re his kryptonite. 

Dangerboat... plane... whatever he is, kinda deserved a little more attention toward the last half of the season. The episode centered around him was the most emotional and it brought everyone together more, I really dug that. It made me cry. ALSO WE STAN MICHAEL, HE WAS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD. I’m so proud of Arthur for seeing Dangerboat more as a person and making an effort to connect to him as a friend. <3 good job Arthur-- at the same time--

I HATE they way Arthur acted like Dot has a specific thing she should or shouldn’t be that was out of character. It’s like the writers wanted the female character to undergo some sort of oppression to rise up against, some form of misogyny from her male family member that she had to point out. You shouldn’t have to tear down a good character because he’s male, to make the female look good. If misogyny was gonna come out of Arthur, let it come out another way other than “this isn’t want you’re supposed to do” like mother fucker, she’s been taking care of you your whole life, she’s done martial arts training, she’s a paramedic, she is way more qualified than you. He’s the last person to talk that way to anyone and it’s pissing me the fuck off. He’s the one struggling with mental illness and no phyical ability to fight anyone, it makes no sense.

Arthur’s actor Griffin Newman, he just does such a fantastic job. The whole undercover scene was so perfectly on pitch, like... just the right level of second hand embarrassment and pride came outta me. He was so close to  blowing it because he’s an anxious person by nature, but he pulled it off and came off more as just an awkward criminal with tons of money that was just believably nerdy. I loved it, it was so funny. Please give him all the awards. And that scene where Tick is on one side of Lint, way too close to her, and Arthur is on the other, and they just work her forking nerves was so hysterical. I died. I think they need to play up that comedic chemistry more often because Tick and Arthur bounce off each other really well when they’re not busy trying to solve serious problems. 

Ok so the whole human furniture thing caught my eye immediately. The pose we are first introduced to is an infamaously disturbing pose by a real life serial killer who ate people and posed their bodies in weird positions and used them for sex and I forget what else. Anyway I tried to brush that off as coincidence, but then later on Dot and Overkill go to where they think this Duke guy’s lair is, and his house looks exactly like John Podesta’s house that had a statue of that EXACT same serial killer’s victim in that pose, and podesta’s walls were covered in creepy pedo art of little girls and drowning women. And the walls of Duke’s lair were covered in creepy human furniture art. I mean there are all kinds of parodies this season that are in your face, but I don’t think anyone who didn’t follow pizzagate carefully would catch this one.

Speaking of parodies OMFG I lost it when Superian reenacted that Superman scene where he’s like “Can you read my mind?” as he’s dragging the screaming guy across the night sky. 

Ugh, I’m so sad that Tick and Arthur don’t get to keep those precious baby lobsters, and where did they get all the cute toys?? I wanna think Joan picked those up for them. Kawaii lobster voice: “Joaaan!” Tick is such a good dad...  A family can be a giant Tick man, a moth boy, a hobo, a mimaw, and a bunch of singing lobsters. "SHE'S THE MOTHER OF OUR CHILDREN!" Tick drinks respect woman lobster mom juice.

I think I don’t know what to make of the reverse Green Goblin twist going on with Ms. Lint. The creepy voice is telling her to become a hero I guess, but not really? I think the joke is we think it’s telling her to be a hero, but really it’s teaching her to be a  better villain LMAO

I’m glad kevin has a power and he was welcomed to come help even before said power was revealed.-- woah wait where tf is Karamozov?? I gotta tweet his actor he loves this show and he wasn’t in this season ???

I don’t blame Dot for being upset they want to defrost The Terror, but at the same time due process is a thing. I don’t know how that would work in a society full of super powers though. Because the moment you defrost him he’s going to find a way to escape. He’s the oldest, and the worst super villain of all time. This is why I’m ok with the death penalty and killing villains lol

I was expecting Walter to be some sort of MK Ultra sleeper agent, but the plot twist was, that’s what Overkill would become I guess. And Lobstercules. OH BTW I think she’s voiced by the same actress who played Captain Liberty in the old Tick sitcom! “Walter isn’t Walter? My feet don’t feel so good.” Aw Tick

Ty Rathbone drinks respect mothers juice.

Acting agent commander doctor agent Hobbs, honestly I suspected he was the main villain like the moment he was headed toward Lobstercules because something about the lighting and the camera work seemed to telegraph that.

I bet the reason Ty Rathbone feeds his black hole heart monster mice, is because it requires frequent blood sacrifice and that's the smallest sacrifice he can think of that he can quickly just put in there and placate it and go on with his day. I don’t know if he’ll be season 3′s villain or if it’s the aliens that just came back to reclaim Superian. 

Which btw, I called that shit from season 1 episode 1. Superian showed up crash landing inside Big Bismuth which is the only thing that could trap him. He was a prisoner, probably because he did some bad shit, and he told Arthur he helps humanity because he just wants to be a good person. Like he wasn’t one before and now he wants to try to be one.

I want to talk about these, nearly involuntary dance parties Overkill rewards himself with... but I uh... I still can’t compute that that’s actual canon. That that’s a thing Overkill and Dangerboat enjoy together and he... he can’t seem to control himself when the music plays... And also that Dot AND Overkill both know how to floss dance... I just... wow...

Oh and that hug with Overkill made me an emotional mess, he just... he really needed that, thank you Dot.

This concludes my rant and ramble.

#the tick #the tick s2 spoilers #the tick 2017 #season 2 #ooc #thoughts

[kmp78]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 oh and you wanna know why she thinks I'm "a coward and a vile human being and only spread lies and hate about Mars and JL"?

It's because she cannot handle VK.

It's because she thinks JL would never f*ck someone like VK because he only has eyes for people like her.

Aka... well, look for yourself. One of her IGs is 👉 CHAOSTRINITYX 👈

Also known here on tumblr as 👉 THEREALHARRY-BLOG 👈

Btw I used to be friendly with this hysterical tweenager.

We used to chat privately.

I used to listen to her crying about how distraught and heartbroken she was EVERY TIME slender young Vally showed up with JL. Just a total mess... 😭😭😭

And it wasn't just Vally btw. Oh no, it was EVERYONE.

This was her reaction to when Lola J. trolled from her latest Mars show:

"IDK MAYBE I'M JUST JEALOUS"

Maybe. Maaaaaybe! 🤔

Oh and I think I mentioned some time ago that last spring this chick graduated from HIGH SCHOOL and kept on yammering about how she was actually trying to invite JL to her graduation party. 😂

Well, that was a bust (SHOCKER, RIGHT?!) but luckily she did attend a M&G with her graduation cap. 🙄

And speaking of...

Gee, why don´t you just draw him a picture of a giraffe and ask him to put it on his fridge! Or better yet, ask him “IF THE ECHELON WAS AN ANIMAL, WHAT ANIMAL WOULD IT BE?” because  it´s always good to have backups for THE MOST USELESS WASTE OF A M&G QUESTION EVER.

Oh and when Lena P. was grinding in the Moscow VIP section...

Okay... I´ll tell him to call you when he comes over for pizza and canasta tonight.

And this convo got awkward FAST...

Oh and did I mention she´s DEEEEEEEEPLY in denial about a certain Ms. Kauf?

“She´s clearly a friend”

Mmmmmmmmmm and then some.

Her immaturity and hysteria (seriously shouldn´t an 18 yo be a bit more... adult by now...?) isn´t limited to just JL! Oh noooo! 

Exhibit A (Talking about the 2018 Met Gala):

“I LITERALLY CRIED WHEN I SAW PHOTOS”

Well, that´s... not pathetic at all. I also always burst into tears of oooh and aah whenever I see Jennifer Aniston wearing a ballgown on the red carpet.

And her thoughts on Holsey?

Eh.... okay.... 

And then a convo regarding Michael´s kiddo:

Good guess, hun. 

And as if the hysteria was not yet WILD enough...

Ya. 

Let´s all keep our fingers and toesies crossed for that one.

Maybe she can make it happen when she gets hired as JL´s next assistant!

Oh yeah, she was, yes once again, HYSTERICAL on her IG when The Hive posted that ad for a new errand girl. She ranted and raved how people should not apply as a joke because “I´M ACTUALLY SERIOUS ABOUT GETTING THAT JOB!”

Yes, I´m sure they will be hiring an 18 yo girl who just graduated from high school and who has ZERO work experience and ZERO credentials and who oozes all kinds of fluids around JL and has a total meltdown the second one of his pretty little modelitas shows up.

Anyhoo, our little “friendship” came to a screeching halt some months ago when I DAAAAAARED to comment on someone´s IG post that the JL kept flying out of Toronto in 2015 and hooking up with VK in NYC.

That comment was the tiny straw that broke the SFG´s back, so to speak... (Yep that´s another one of her accts)

The best thing in all this is that even while she “HATED ME SOOOOOO MUCH” because of my slandering, cowardly ways of living life, SHE STILL FOLLOWED MY BLOG.

Funny that.

#crybabies for daaaaaaaaaays #spreading lies #jared is a virgin #oh and he likes fat girls #blessed

[robintalley]

There are lots of adoring retrospective pieces going around about 10 Things I Hate About You right now, since it’s the movie’s 20th anniversary (yes, we’re all very old), which has been making me a little grumpy. My wife and I rewatched this movie last year (because I was thinking about writing a queer retelling of Taming of the Shrew at the time, an idea which I have since tabled, partly because this rewatch made me so uncomfortable), and it was that viewing that allowed me to finally put my finger on what had always bothered me about this one: for a movie that gets held up as being super feminist, it’s got an awful lot of misogynistic dialogue. 

Yes, it’s also full of witticisms about Sketchers and Shakespeare, and yes, it has a great soundtrack and amusing clothes, and yes, Julia Stiles and Heath Ledger had amazing chemistry and turned in fantastic performances, and yes, it was fantastic and perhaps mildly revolutionary that the conclusion seemed to be that Bianca should be more like Kat and not the other way around. And the reveal at the end that [spoiler] Kat slept with Joey three years before the events of the film is also probably mildly revolutionary, for a female protagonist in a teen movie in 1999. 

But let’s take a closer look at this script (quotes below are from this transcript). 

TL;DR: Sixteen Candles this movie’s not, but it isn’t the grand feminist treatise it gets held up to be either.

In most of the scenes featuring Kat (which is fewer of them than you might expect, given that an astonishing chunk of the movie’s screen time is devoted to Cameron making awkward faces), she delivers lots of witty comebacks. The comebacks themselves are great. The problem is the lines that set up her comebacks. It’s lovely to see her standing up for herself, of course, but it would be awesome if she didn’t have to do so quite so often. Especially considering that a lot of the time the person she’s standing up to is Patrick, who is presented to us as the hero and perhaps a bit of a feminist himself (we don’t know for sure, because the word feminist is only used once in the movie, by fellow-hero Cameron after he’s just finished searching Kat’s bedroom without her knowledge or permission and is reporting back to Patrick on what he found).

All of the lines below are spoken by the movie’s “good” guys, by the way. I didn’t include any quotes from the antagonist, Joey (the one who draws a dick on a kid’s face in the cafeteria).

Here’s how Patrick introduces himself to Kat (after being paid by Joey to do so, a fact which is in typical teen-movie style is concealed from Kat until the climax):

PATRICK: Hey there, girlie.  How ya doin'? KAT [witty comeback]: Sweating like a pig, actually. And yourself? PATRICK: Now there's a way to get a guy's attention, huh? KAT [another witty comeback]

Here’s Patrick again, speaking to Kat who at this point in the film has shown absolutely no interest in him and who is pursuing because he’s being paid to do so:

PATRICK: Well, maybe you’re not afraid of me. But I’m sure you’ve thought about me naked, huh? KAT [another witty comeback]

And again:

PATRICK: Ooo, someone still has their panties in a twist. KAT [another witty comeback]

Also let’s not forget this line, delivered to Kat by her dad (she doesn’t have a witty comeback for this one btw; maybe because the writers thought Dad’s gross line was going to get such a big laugh there was no point?):

MR. STRATFORD: My insurance does not cover PMS!

Then there’s this exchange, which almost prompted me to turn off the movie altogether during that rewatch. Again, Cameron and Patrick are both presented to us as the “good” guys in this movie; this scene takes place after Bianca has made it clear that she isn’t interested in dating Cameron; meanwhile, Kat might have a concussion and so good-guy Patrick is supposedly focused on trying to keep her awake:

CAMERON (to Patrick): Hey, hey. We need to talk. PATRICK: I'm a little busy right now. CAMERON (indignantly): Can you give me a second? [At this point they walk away, leaving the possibly-concussed Kat alone] CAMERON: It's off, okay? The whole thing’s off. PATRICK: What’re you talking about? CAMERON: She never wanted me. She wanted Joey the whole time. PATRICK: Cameron -- do you like the girl? CAMERON: Yeah. PATRICK: Yeah. And is she worth all this trouble? CAMERON: Well, I thought she was. But, you know, I... PATRICK: Well she is or she isn’t. See, first of all, Joey is not half the man you are.  Secondly, don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want. Go for it!

First of all, Patrick has met Cameron, like, twice; describing Joey as “half the man” Cameron is based on the evidence available to him (or that matter us) is a major stretch at best. Second of all, Bianca made it extremely clear that she wasn’t interested in Cameron, so Patrick telling Cameron to “go for it” may be standard romantic-hero advice, but it nonetheless sucks. Patrick is effectively telling Cameron that he “deserves” a girl who has made it clear that she’s not interested in him because, in Patrick’s opinion, Cameron’s less of an obvious jerk than the guy who Bianca indicated she was interested in. 

Of course, joke’s on me; guess who Bianca totally realizes she wanted after all once Joey turns out to be boring. (Which is another teen-movie trope, but that still doesn’t justify this dialogue.)

Anyway, let’s continue. Here are some more characters talking about Bianca, who also happens to be the movie’s secondary protagonist.

MICHAEL (describing her to Cameron): ...A snotty little Princess wearing a strategically planned sun dress to make guys like us realize we can never touch her, and guys like Joey realize they want to. She, my friend, is what we’ll spend the rest of our lives not having. Put her in the Spank Bank. Move on.

And later:

PATRICK: What is it with this chick?  She have beer flavored nipples? CAMERON: Hey! MICHAEL: I think I speak correctly when I say that Cameron's love is pure. Purer than say -- Joey Donner's. PATRICK: Look. I'm in on this for the cash. Donner can plow whoever he wants. CAMERON: Okay. There will be no plowing! MICHAEL: Patrick, uh, Pat.  Let me explain something to you here.  We set this whole thing up so Cameron can get the girl. Cameron. Joey's just a pawn. PATRICK (now talking about Kat, as charmingly as ever): So you two are gonna help me tame the wild beast?

Yes, of course Cameron’s love is “pure” and thus he deserves to “get the girl” and thus Patrick must “tame the wild beast.”

(Yes, I know the word “tame” is in there because it’s a Shakespeare title reference. Doesn’t change the fact that we’re supposed to adore and admire Patrick and yet he’s literally referring to Kat -- who at this point in the movie he genuinely likes -- as a “wild beast” in need of “taming.”)

And here’s more of Cameron and Patrick discussing Kat’s interests (and again this comes after Patrick has started genuinely liking Kat):

CAMERON: Alright.  Okay -- Likes:  Thai food, feminist prose, and "angry, girl music of the indie-rock persuasion".  Here’s a list of CDs that she has in her room. PATRICK: So I'm supposed to buy her some noodles and a book and sit around listening to chicks who can't play their instruments, right?

Also, remember when Kat flashes her soccer coach in front of a whole class full of guys to get Heath out of detention? And when Patrick sexually harasses the lunch lady by flashing a bratwurst at her? And at the party, when a drunk girl tries to kiss Patrick, and he flings her at a random dude who then proceeds to make out with her all night? And again, with the drawing of a dick on a kid’s face in the cafeteria. (All of these things are presented as jokes, btw.)

Again, there are far worse movies out there than 10 Things I Hate About You. But I don’t want to get excited about it just because it beats the Sixteen Candles standard for teen-movie feminism. Seeing young Heath Ledger is cool for sure, but I wish I didn’t have to watch him deliver some of this dialogue, and I really want entitled-and-completely-uninteresting Cameron to just smarm off the screen every time he smarms on; if ever there was a teen movie protagonist who would be better off single at the end of the movie, it’s Bianca.

Also, ooh, I feel a lot better now for having gotten all of that off my chest. Must think of whether there are any other beloved pseudo-feminist films I can rant about next. Hmmm.

#10 things i hate about you #feminism

[terramythos]

My reread commentary on October Daye #8, "The Winter Long" or "more shit goes down in this book than the first 7 combined, holy shit".

I apologize to anyone who reads these cause I literally hit the length limit on this post and had to pare it down lmao 

-Good start: Under the Acknowledgements section: "Everything I have done with October's world to this point has been for the sake of getting here". Sooo basically the first 7 books? Setup for this one. We're in for a Ride.

I want to emphasize some of the best meta foreshadowing I've seen:

FOR REFERENCE, Rosemary and Rue is the title of book 1. It's also the only book whose opening Shakespeare quote (from Hamlet) doesn't really match the title. If you know your Shakespeare, you probably would have caught that and figured out that it was from The Winter's Tale instead. Plenty of conclusions you can draw just from that. Since then the series has been chock full of hidden identities, and this book has two BIG ones coming into play. Foreshadowing was here from the very fucking beginning, and it is some next level shit. Very well done.

-If you skipped book 1 you are SO fucked, btw.

- we're going to great lengths to describe Sylvester's physical appearance. Gee I wonder why. I'm sure it's not relevant

- yes Sylvester has FOX COLORED HAIR and YELLOW EYES and his magic smells like DAFFODILS and DOGWOOD FLOWERS. He is Toby's LEIGE and FATHER FIGURE.

Me on a first read: oh it's just beginning book exposition, they all do this

Me on a second read: god fucking damn it

- toby: I should have known Sylvester would never disappoint me.

Me: oh sweetie. Oh honey.

- "He smelled like smoke and rotten oranges.

This man wasn't Sylvester Torquill."

Anyone who read book 1: OHSHIT.AVI

Welcome back, Simon! You know, Sylvester's evil twin? You know, the big bad (so far) of the series? The the one responsible for turning Toby into a fish for 14 years?

-Yet he seems kinda... off, huh? Comments about how he didnt know the spell would last 14 years, how he hates to upset October's mom, of all people? Whatever could he mean? :)))

-New toby power: spell reflection? Hell yeah? Also spell BREAKING, but to be fair she did do that one other time. In, you guessed it, book 1.

- "When I tried to picture Sylvester's face, I kept seeing Simon's instead" ow oof

- Simon calling Amandine "Amy", which we've established is an affectionate nickname (it being what, you know, THE LUIDAEG calls her). Why would Simon, of all people, call her that?

... oh.

-That sure explains a LOT, huh? That sure was set up... this whole time, huh?

-Little "fuck you" lines like "I didn't know Sylvester had a niece" in book 2. Talking about January. Well, uh, he has several actually! You're one of them!

-Explanation for why Sylvester had any inclination to be October's mentor... eventually becoming her liege and father figure... even giving her the Changeling's Choice (something family is supposed to do). It seems mighty convenient that a random noble was involved in the life of a changeling to such an extent. BUT, if he was her uncle, and knew his brother wouldn't step up? Well...

-This isn't even the biggest reveal of the book. Like, we're only a handful of chapters in and this bomb gets dropped.

-Sylvester, every 10 minutes: oh boy I cant wait to see my brother so I can like, completely eviscerate him!

Everyone else: uh,

- Tybalt: and here I thought I was going to have to ask Sylvester for his blessing. Now I technically have to ask SIMON?

Toby: uwotm8

Tybalt: oh god uhh I'm joking yeah uhh I'm just trying to distract you from all this stress :)) yeah (nailed it!)!

-And now we begin the "wow Sylvester is actually not a great person" slide. It's been hinted at that he's pretty unstable and has shitty priorities regarding people he cares about. But Toby glossed over a lot of it because she adored him. Welp.

- It's also an interesting aside that Etienne was kind of a dick to Toby for a reason in the earlier books. He legit thought she had been knighted because she was family, not that she had earned the post. And after the last few books he clearly knows now that that's not the case and they've actually become friends. That's interesting hidden character development.

- ok so The Gang finds out that Simon was telling the truth when he said turning Toby into a fish for 14 years was to save her. Because he had actually been hired to KILL her and didn't want to do it. So it was a loophole-- everyone thought she was dead, and then (as established in book 1) pretty much everyone forgot she existed until the spell broke.

-BUT Simon is bound by a geas (where have we seen that before) and cannot divulge his employer's name. But who had such a grudge against Toby and/or her mom to order a hit on her AND forcibly bind everyone to secrecy?

-who knows? Not toby. So they go to The Luidaeg to maybe get a lead, and she establishes right away that she is ALSO bound under a geas and can't say who did it. So we play some 20 questions, and then...

ULTRA DISTRESSING LUIDAEG LORE :((((

-additional: another month name just came into play. August. Toby's half sister, missing for a century. WHAT IS WITH THE MONTH NAMES

- "please don't mistake villainy for evil." That's an.. interesting quote re:Simon.

- Simon's way of protecting toby from the impending threat is "well maybe you turn into a tree for a few centuries but like. You're safe, right? Why are you mad?"

- The Luidaeg: *is straight up dead*

Toby: hey tybalt remember that time in book 2 when I Resurrected the Dead

Tybalt: yeah, it was fucking terrifying and I didnt speak to you for 6 months

Toby: *finger guns* guess whaaaaaat

-The Luidaeg: *says just. A bunch of Lore*

Toby: Luidaeg dont you dare drop that cryptic shit on me then pass out

Luidaeg: nap time

-"If you so much as whisper the first word of a transformation spell, I'll have your larynx in my hand before the second word can form." DAMN, Tybalt.

-Simon: I am VERY sorry for my bullshit earlier. I can't tell you who my employer is, but I CAN give you this BOUQUET of ICE COLD ROSES. Ice cold, like winter. Winter Roses, if you will. Yeah. Uh have a nice life, bye!

Everyone: well this sure is a mystery

-Simon is definitely a morally grey character. Has done really awful shit, is built up as a major villain... but turns out he had relatively little control over his actions. He does the wrong thing a lot but it's usually not for a truly evil end? If the context is to be believed he got stuck in the geas contract with Unnamed Employer to save his daughter, which explains the bad shit he did that we know of. Which then inadvertently kicked off like the whole series. He seems to genuinely care about Toby in a warped way? It would be so easy to write him off as an evil stepdad or whatever and there's plenty of canon to support that stance (she's an illegitimate CHANGELING child) but he seems like he wants to just be her dad. I hope we explore his character more, is what I'm saying.

-And not to keep rambling about it but Toby is an established unreliable narrator and a horrible (initial) judge of character. So it's not like this is an asspull or off base at all.

Twist of the fucking century here.

-You know... the character who set off the events of the series? The character who was murdered in book 1 and bound October to a geas forcing her to find the culprit or die? Evening fucking Winterrose?

-There were hints, most very subtle unlike the other big twists, but probably the biggest one is SHE NEVER SHOWS UP AS A NIGHT HAUNT. And they're in the story quite a bit, and they ALWAYS feature killed off characters. Except Evening.

-My favorite hints were the ones just piled in book 1. Comments like "no one knows who Evening really is" said with zero self awareness. Because we are actually about to find out who she is... 7 goddamn books later.

-dead meme but "surprise, bitch. Bet you thought you saw the last of me."

-God she's so awful lol

-Toby thinking Quentin died then calling him THE SON SHE NEVER HAD is a BIG OOF right to the HEART. ;-;

-The book also points out that The Luidaeg through the series has ALWAYS referred to Evening in present tense. Even though she "died" in book 1.

-The Luidaeg ALSO never refers to her as Evening. It's always "The Winterrose". You know, a title. Which we have heavily emphasized is something the Firstborn use in place of their true names.

*jazz hands* Surprise!

-We also (finally) have a canon explanation for the... rather remarkable coincidence that Quentin, the fucking Crown Prince (from TORONTO), is in San Francisco at all. It was always weird he got sent to Shadowed Hills, and it's been commented on multiple times... Evening arranged it, of course! For reasons we don't quite know. But as the Daoine Sidhe Firstborn, her descendants couldn't exactly say no. Even though they didn't know who she really was.

-We really are falling all over Firstborn in this series? It sure is.. an odd coincidence, huh?

We got:

The Luidaeg: Roane/Selkie

Amandine: Dochas Sidhe

Acacia: Blodynbryd

Evening: Daoine Sidhe

Blind Michael: ... uh actually I don't think we ever learn what race he's Firstborn of. All his "children" are kidnapping victims forcibly twisted into monsters. Well, except for Luna, but we only know the Blodynbryd side.

But it's weird that for being so rare that we've run into 5 of them in 8 books. There's gotta be a reason for it.. but what?

-Luna starts the series as Toby's Surrogate Mom and is now just straight up an enemy huh

-I made this observation in my book 1 notes, but I find it very interesting that all of Toby's initial friends and allies... aren't by this point. Whereas her current allies are either former enemies or people she initially disliked or distrusted.

Starter allies: Sylvester? Was lying to her the whole time. Luna? Pretty much tried to sacrifice her (+above). Evening? Uhh this whole damn book. Devin? Tried to kill her for personal gain. Lily/Connor? Both killed off for real.

Current allies: Tybalt? Literal former enemy turned lover. Quentin? Kind of a snotty, vaguely racist kid she whips into shape. The Luidaeg? Extremely powerful witch who Toby assumes is True Neutral and wouldn't hesitate to kill her. May? Literal personal walking death omen.

It's just a cool reversal. There's so much really excellent character development in this series and I love it.

-Simon still is a pretty major bastard but.. less outright mustache twirling evil than we were led to believe up to this book. You learn his Backstory and while it really doesn't justify his actions it does...explain them.

-Blink and you miss it Lore: August is missing because she entered a contract with the Luidaeg. She's holding the candle from book 3 :)))

I'm starting to realize I stan The Luidaeg so hard I just have to take a picture every time she shows up and does stuff lmfao. (Best character).

-But... nothing like your inconceivably ancient and powerful aunt suddenly owing you a life debt, I guess???

-Toby. You know, just an ordinary weak changeling who has somehow managed to KILL A FIRSTBORN and RAISE THE DEAD. yikes.

I'm just putting this here cause it's funny as shit. Tybalt really is just... a cat

This book: I heard you like distressing Luidaeg lore??

Me: oh thanks I don't need to feel things

-God Evening is awful. Like, if you didn't know that already, see above.

-It says something about The Luidaeg that despite all that shit their Firstborn did to her she ends up becoming such good friends with Quentin, a Daoine Sidhe?

-BIG LORE with The Luidaeg talking to Maeve??? And Maeve "responding" kind of? This series damn well better explore what the fuck happened to those three it's been built up all series

-Omg the showdown with Evening and The Luidaeg. And Toby managing to break free and realize she deserves so much more than Evening-- all without magic. And Simon showing up for a last minute redemption trying to hit Evening with elf shot? I mean he gets shot in the process, but...

-We now have like, 3 or 4 characters just... asleep indefinitely thanks to elf shot. that's gonna be a Thing isnt it. Rayseline, Evening, Simon, Arden's brother...

WE DID IT BOYS

-This is the last full one I've already read. Most of my reactions in 9-12 are gonna be new. So.

#long post #i mean it's under a cut.. but

[nyancheetosmusical]

BMC Orphan AU

Heck my dudes I’m supposed to be studying rn BUT I really wanted to share with you this random lil AU @justpidgance and I came up with.

Basically, Jeremy’s parents die or leave him or something when he was very young (Like 4-5 ish). But before they go, they get him to take a Squip, in the hopes that at least somebody will be there to take care of their son.

Below the cut is a copy-paste dump of ideas we had. Enjoy!

So like, Jeremy is an orphan, and he gets a Squip when he's a lil kid (like his parents knew they weren't going to be around so they got him one). And the Squip, raises Jeremy, which is pretty hard when you're not corporeal. But like he leads Jeremy places and he basically helps him live on the street, but like he's a little kid so he just thinks that it's a parent.

Like the Squip leads Jeremy under a bridge and helps him find stuff to build a small "home"

And he is always checking what places are giving free food and stuff

Sometimes he'll play "games" with Jeremy like "try to throw the rock onto the bridge right....now!" And he does and the rock (just like the Squip calculated) gets stuck in the wheels of a bike which is delivering pizza, and the bike crashes and a pizza flies off the bridge, and Jeremy catches it and look! Food for a couple days!

At night he tells him stories to help him sleep

And uses his abilities to help regulate his body temperature and stuff so he doesn't wake up

But the worst part is that the Squip can't touch Jeremy. And Jeremy wants to have someone to hold

So the Squip figured that he can stimulate nerves so if feels as if Jeremy is holding something

He isn't but it feels like it

And Jeremy is honestly really happy

Like yeah life is kinda hard but the Squip is able to determine his moods and help him

School? Why go there if you have a supercomputer in your brain?

The squip tried real hard to get Jer enrolled but he has none of his legal stuff. Like Jeremy is technically not a person. And he wants him in school bc free meals and safety for 7 hours of the day. But he cant

If only Jeremy could make a friend...

MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCE

Okay tbh the only reason I thought of this AU is bc I have "Be the Hero" from Big Fish stuck in my head and I really wanted the Squip to sing it to Jeremy and I needed a situation, and here we are. It's like all the stories he tells Jeremy, as well as his hopes that Jeremy can survive

https://youtu.be/bHoNw263X50 

AND THE SQUIP IS ABLE TO BRING JEREMY'S IMAGINATION TO LIFE 

Random HCs

The squip taking Jeremy to a b-day party at the park and joins in. And the parents there are like, “the more the merrier” so it’s all cool. Plus, he gets to make new friends and have cake !

Whenever Jeremy does something good, the squip would play a clapping sound.

The Squip, on a regular basis, to feed Jeremy, takes him to vending machines and hacks them. he tries to get the healthiest food for him, so his body has the nutrients it needs, but one time he couldn't say no to them puppy dog eyes and gets Jeremy a poptart. Jeremy has never had a poptart before. The Squip takes him to a vent behind a store where hot air is coming out: “Hey, put the poptarts on the vent.” Jeremy has warm poptarts. "WOAh, THIS IS LIKE....so yummy." IF YOUR HUGS WERE A FOOD, THEY'D BE THIS!”

SQUIP FINDING WAYS TO TAKE JEREMY TO PLACES HE ALWAYS DREAMED OF GOING FOR HIS BDAY

SQUIP TELLING JER BEDTIME STORIES WHEN HE'S SCARED

SQUIP ENCOURAGES JER TO MAKE FRIENDS, SO HE MEETS MICHAEL

SQUIP MAKING JOKES ABOUT JERS INSANELY GROWING HEIGHT

SQUIP WANTS HIM TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH A PERSON WHO IS ECONOMICALLY MORE WELL OFF

BUT JER LIKES MICHAEL SO MUCH

But like won't michael's parents get suspicious?

This kid keeps coming over and he has no parents...

AND HIJACKS TWO PEOPLE ALSO WITH SQUIPS AND THEY COME AND PRETEND TO BE HIS PARENTS

and the Squip can't be out with him (cause Squip is always vvisibly manifested with Jer) so he just has to play along

And afterwards when Jer is alone the Squip is like "is everything alright?"

"...why don't I have a mom and a dad like Michael?"

"....I....I don't know, Jeremy"

and the Squip feels kind of bad, cause he realizes that even though he's doing his best he can never be parents

Jeremy is sitting there and drawing in the dirt and he just says: "I'm glad I have you then."

OXYTOCIN IS A HORMONE IN THE BRAIN THAT IS RELEASED WHEN A PARENT HOLD THEIR CHILD (ESPECIALLY AFTER CHILDBIRTH) IN BOTH BRAINS THAT STIMULATES BONDING

SO THE SQUIP IS TRYING TO RAISE JEREMY NORMAL

SO WHENEVER HE "TOUCHES" HIM

HE STIMULATES THE RELEASE OF OXYTOCIN

SO THAT JEREMY CAN FORM A BOND WITH HIM

(sorry about the all caps there I really love science and got excited about it)

The Squip’s visible form (only visiblle to Jeremy btw) after a while starts to manifests physicla traits Jeremy has in order to further develop their bond; like freckles, same eye color, body build.

Jeremy’s outfit in BMC (stripe shirt, blue jacket, etc) is a version of what his Squip wears.

Swimming HCS:

Squip sneaks him to a kiddo pool at some public place (so there's lifeguards in case) and they just have a fun time. and jer giggles as he tries out his attempts, and the squip finds it adorable. these sessions take place once or twice a week, and finally at some point jer Is able to swim a bit and hold his breath under water

Jer is learning how to swim with help from the squip, but since this is very new he has a very hard time with it. and at one point, jer just starts sinking deeper into the pool and starts coughing and the squip begins to panic. and there's nothing he can really do to help, and he just screams in jers head to try to swim towards the edge of the pool. and that doesn't work, so he tries to take control of jers body but he's loosing connection because of what's happening to Jeremy.

Luckily, a lifeguard dives in and gets jer to safety. but in this moment the squip starts to think he's dangerous for Jeremy-he realizes how little help he really is for jeremy. he needs somebody who'll actually be there for him rather than something as useless as a voice.

Imagine the Squip being so nervous that Jeremy might be taken into an orphanage and he might not be able to leave; the Squip knows that things might not go well. So as soon as Jeremy comes to, the Squip takes over his body and pumps him full of adrenaline and RUNS. Once they're safe, he lets Jeremy in and Jeremy is so tired. Also, a little scared of the Squip

And the Squip wonder if maybe an orphanage would be better than him

The squip convinces jer to go to a vending machine as an apology, and gets Jeremy poptarts AND skittles cause Jeremy has always wanted skittles and the Squip apologizes a lot. And even asks him: “Do you want someone to take care of you that's not me? I....I can't always be there for you.”

But Jer is just quiet, and the Squip is sad cause he thinks the answer is yes. The squip really wants to like comfort him, but he doesn't want to pressure him. So instead, sometimes, to make Jer feel better he'll release oxytocin or dopamine or other hormonesor serotonin I forgot that one

to help him feel better.Also, he wants to "touch" him,  but this is a choice Jeremy has to make on his own. And Jeremy is eating his skittles, and he picks up one and show it to the Squip:

Jer:  "Look at this letter!"

Squip:  "...that's an s."

Jer: "Uh-huh! I love all things that start with the letter S!"

Squip:  "....what-"

Jer: "Skittles, sea horses, socks, and Squips!"

And the squip melts a little

Squip: "Jeremy, are you sure? You saw what I did to you today, didn't that make you afraid?"

Jer: "Well, it did, and it was really scary, but....you did it because you love me, right?"

Squip: "Y-yeah...."

Jer: "So I forgive you! You we're just trying to help. And you even said sorry and got me skittles!:

Squip: "....what on earth did I do to deserve you."

Jer: "that's a silly thing to say! Oh, look at this, they're all in the rainbow order!"

The Squip in public with Jeremy:

It has to be like "Listen, Jeremy, you're not allowed to talk about me in front of other people, okay?"

"but why not?"

"don't worry about it, okay? And remember, what do we say when someone asks about your parents?"

"uhm....Oh yeah! They live just down the street!"

"Perfect! Alright, we can go to the park now."

"Yay! Can you play the drum song?"

"If you skip to the beat, then yes"

The squip uses powers of internet to play song and Jer skips to the park. To anyone watching, it's just a kid having a good time, running to the park.

And then @justpidgance and I had to torture each other with angst

Jeremy going to the hospital and the doctors find the squip and remove it, and Jer wakes up all alone, no parents or squip coming for him.

So he has to figure out what a squip WAS and either save up money for one or steal it and take it again.WAIT, THE MOST HORRIBLE PART: NOW HE'S A TEENAGER,  THE SQUIP IS DIFFERENT, IT JUST WANTS HIM TO BE POPULAR. So now he has the only person he thought he loved in his brain telling himm how horrible he is

The Squip used to stimulates shocks to allow Jeremy to ‘feel him’, but the new squip doesn’t do that. So purposely, Jeremy slouches or does something stupid so the new squip can shock him. Even if it hurts, he needs to have that feeling again.

The squip telling him to stop expecting love and compassion from him:

"I'm a supercomputer, not your parents"

"how did you even survive out here as long as you did?"

"....it was you"

"well if it was I must have done a pretty terrible job, I mean look at you?!"

"....you told me I was just right the way I am...."

"Well I must have been faulty, because you are not.

AND THE SQUIP PICKS UP ON THIS PRETTY QUICK. SO HE WILL, EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE SAY SOMETHING NICE OR MAKE JEREMY FEEL GOOD

“....well done, Jer-Bear.”

“!!! Th-thank you so much!”

“Stop smiling, your teeth are not fixed and it makes you look very unappealing.”

“R...right. Sorry.”

“Let’s go.”

JUST SO JEREMY KEEPS LISTENIN’  BECAUSE JEREMY JUST HOPES OLD SQUIP WILL COME BACK

#Orphan Jeremy AU #be more chill #jeremy heere #the squip #squip

[seajudge70-blog]

Final Potter Party Update: Witches Get Snitches, A Niffler Repaint, & Our Goblet of Fire

So last night John and I filled the whole house with grease smoke from the banger we were test cooking, this morning John's foot went through the outside deck from a rotten board, and just now the garage door spring snapped (AAAAA), locking us out.

TWO DAYS TO GO!

It's times like these I most love being married to John; the man is unflappable. He's a rock. He's an unflappable married rock with a cute Superman curl. Calamity strikes, and John just tilts his head, says, "Huh," and then sets about fixing every thing.

So, we have a garage repairman coming tomorrow (even we don't miss around with garage springs; they can kill you), John's already replaced the rotten board (mercifully a fluke from a pile of wet dirt underneath; the rest of the deck is sound), and the house, well, it may smell a little like sausages on Saturday. But that's OK, because we're serving sausages.

Speaking of our sausages (heyooo), quick shout-out to Whole Foods, of all places, where this fabulous meat department guy named Mark custom-made gluten-free Bangers for us - on all the properly cleaned equipment and everything, AT NO EXTRA CHARGE. Wha whaaaaaaaaat? They taste amazing, too - probably even better when you eat them in a house NOT filled with grease smoke.

Now let me show you more party crafts! Our final Big Build is in the Puzzle Room, so that's staying under wraps for now, but I have a ton of small silly stuff to share:

The second I spotted these gold ornaments at Dollar Tree I knew exactly what they were:

Giant Snitches! They even have the swirly design! 

All I needed were some of those silver glittery leaves/feathers you see everywhere at Christmas... until you start LOOKING for them, at which point they evaporate into the ether. I finally gave up searching and cut some thrift store leaves instead, which John spray-painted silver. Drilled two small holes, a little hot glue, and bam:

Giant snitches!

I even had the perfect place to put my big balls. (Oh, like I wasn't going to use THAT joke):

 Right over the Kitty Quidditch Tower! Which you can see I decked out with a little garland wreath around the window. (And you get a bonus kitty action shot.)

Eva says hi.

I hope to have better photos for the official party post, btw; these are all phone pics taken at night.

I assumed the cats would try to destroy the snitch garland, but amazingly, not a single nibble. They're too busy eating every other piece of garland and greenery I have out.

I'll walk you through all the Puzzle Room builds in a separate post, since there are a lot and I don't want to spoil it for the guests, but here are two small things:

Remember my $3 thrift store cage? I suspended my Soot Sprite (by the amazing Monster Cafe, go follow them!) from a bit of fishing line inside, so it's floating. This made me unexpectedly and ridiculously happy. :D I think it'll be staying out year-round in the Game Room after this.

And a slightly more complex craft:

I made all these rune markers from rolled out clay, which I cut with a bottle top. I used a straw to poke holes for the leather cords, pressed the symbols in with a wooden stick, textured with a stiff paintbrush, then painted & dry-brushed with craft paint. I already had the clay, tools, and paint, so this was a freebie craft. Love those. Plus I think they turned out really looking like stone!

The runes are attached to various potion bottles around the room, and are part of my favorite puzzle. You'll see all of that later, promise.

Not my craft at all, but I think you'll like this:

"Beware the Nargles" mistletoe, hanging over the doorway to the deck! This was a gift from one of you readers a few years ago (I'm sorry I don't remember which one!), and I love having the perfect spot for it this year.

The weekend after Thanksgiving - when I was still so weak from being sick - my one and only outing was to stagger to Box Lunch with John to buy this Niffler game:

   It was $20, down from $30. Honestly it's barely worth that much, but it's a ridiculously easy game for parties (you stack coins 'til the plate tips) and super cute, so, SOLD.

All the plain plastic pieces were making my eye twitch, though:

So... plasticky.

You know the drill: I slapped a bunch of black paint on everything, then quickly wiped it off again. Annnd:

 Look what a difference! Aaaaaa, bliss.

The coins took a teensy bit longer (HA), because I aged both sides of all 64 coins, then Rub N' Buffed both sides of all 64 coins. My hands looked like they'd been tarred and gilded by the time I was done.

Now you can see the designs in the coins, though, which look surprisingly cool!

This is mostly a game of dexterity; it's VERY HARD to pick up the coins with the little wand shovels:

I also aged the base, but the Niffler didn't need anything; he's great as-is:

And I found the perfect plastic tray at Walmart for $2! This way I can move the whole game around while keeping the pieces together. (It'll be on the coffee table in the Common Room.) 

 I have so much more, you guys, but let me end with the one that's made us laugh the hardest:

A few weeks ago we found the most incredible urn/vase thing at a thrift store for $8:

The inner jewel thing is orange swirly resin. I didn't realize before this, but WOW does that look cool in photos! It's actually a little less impressive in real life, ha.

Anyway, at first I thought it would go in the Common Room, since it looks like a trophy, but I never found the right spot for it. Then, as John and I were brainstorming ways to give out some door prizes, a FLASH OF INSPIRATION.

(Brace yourselves.)

We are hilarious, you guys.

(When I texted this photo to John he reported back that half the aisle at Walmart now thought he was insane, he laughed so hard.)

I should mention John has a long-standing, much vocalized dislike for Michael Gambon's portrayal of Dumbledore (#NotMyDumbledore), so a lot of our friends have sent this meme his way, and love to bring up the famously "calm" Goblet of Fire scene. (If you're lost, a quick Google will give you all you need to know - plus some laughs.)

We've also determined that, during the drawing, John will wear a long fake beard and attempt to body-slam the winners into the wall. You know, for authenticity.

And on that note, I'm off to try to finish this baby:

We won't stop thinking of new things to make 'til the moment the party starts. It's a sickness. A beautiful, stressful sickness. :D

Stay tuned for so much more. Just... just so much.  

Love you guys. TTFN!

Source: https://www.epbot.com/2018/12/final-potter-party-update-witches-get.html

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

[judehayward]

lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: ju-Das juda-ah-ah… frankly i missed this ridiculous depressed little man so i’m gna try my hand at playing 2 charas again. the crowd grits their teeth in apprehensive nerves. it’s fine it’s fine it’s all FINE!!!!!!!!! also this is nai btw forgot to say. anyway. ahem. without further adieu.... his intro

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger’s rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

ok to start w i won’t lie i’ve pasted in an old intro here bc i just hate intros i hate writing them i hate them................. bt it’s fine.......................... lets pretend this is all fresh n sexy n new....... bsically this is jst a disclosure tht this isn’t tht well written bc it’s old n stinky bt we’re all jst having fun here. bye

he hd to do community service bc he kind of… hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he… stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like… drivin around the place sort of… tryin nt to cry…..KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw… broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room……. this ws like 2/3 months ago nw mayb bt... just some fun lore fr u all

in a new development in terms of sexuality i jst am nt quite sure……. hes always thot he ws straight… fooled around w a 90s hugh grant lookalike once n ws jst a bit like :/ my rocks rnt blasted off? bt who knows wht the future holds… who KNOWS wht the future holds ladies n gentlemen

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was born

they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out

they were ok to him like they weren’t abusive or anything like that bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans. they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they even knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care one bit

they were both suuuuper into the arts. they’re both rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a successful gallery in san fran

as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws their son forcing them to b responsible n look after someone else. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh fgkhdfgh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing. i mean he’s gd bt… Calm Down Jude. personality wise he acts out sometimes bc he’s so frustrated. he tried rly hard to be someone his parents wld care abt by doing wild or stupid things so he’d hav funny stories to tell them n tbh sometimes it works n he gets them to laugh w him but it isn’t a parent/son bond n it never rly wil b.

he’s rly sarcastic, sleeps around a bit, has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably draw them n get rly defensive if they find out abt it fkjgdhfkj bcos he’s an Independent Boy without a sentimental bone in his body. or so he says. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women. tries to b? a feminist bt sometimes fucks up n offends ppl n is like dam….. my bad fr :/

he has p bad insomnia so he like never sleeps fgjkhfgjkf he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at lockwood doing fine arts. he luvs painting n photography n philosophy n all tht. a pretentious fiend sometimes? maybe_so.gif. he isn’t rly pushy abt it tho n tends to like.... take nothing seriously bt at the same time acts like he is??? like he’s very deadpan in everything he does

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges on all his clothes. wandering the streets eating frm a cereal box without care in public. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a good time. o and he’s That Guy that would die fr morrissey (his vibe not personality bc i hc jude was depressed n shut himself inside all day when he actually found out what a dick he is dfjkfhg) and all that stone roses the smiths etc stuff music wise. HMU FR PLOTS!!!!!! i’m down fr anything

#radintro #depression tw #death tw #grief tw #neglect tw #trauma tw #jst implied bt never elaborated on #drugs tw #i think tht is all???