#( like even when u know rationally the thing isn’t a big deal .. it still sucks that people just don’t hear you ever )

[thefanficmonster]

Unlucky

Part 2: ‘Lucky Me’

Corpse Husband x Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Corpse decides to email back a person who has sent him quite a few creepy stories. She never seems to run out of scary encounters of both sorts: paranormal and stranger-danger. He gets suspicious that the stories are all made up so she can grab his attention, but he’s in for a surprise.

U/N - username

Requested: No

Corpse’s POV

I’m looking through my most recent emails from fans. They are all of scary encounters they’ve allegedly experienced. By now, I’ve read so many, it’s easy to decipher which are real and which are just made up nonsense. Some, I must admit, give me chills. Big props to the people who write those, especially if they are made up. If you can make someone’s skin crawl with your twisted, frightening imagination, you have one, for lack of a better term and in the most positive way, fucked up mind.

My cursor lands on the familiar username I see almost every other week. U/N. They have been sending stories consistently for about three years now. They, and I’m saying they cause you can never be sure who’s hiding behind the username, are either the most unlucky person to walk the planet or the one with most twisted imagination and story telling skills. I’ll admit, sometimes I narrate a story just because it’s well written. Believability is not the only thing I go by, I also reward creativity. And this person, U/N, has had their spot in many of my videos in the last three years. I’m honestly hoping they are made up, or at least some of them, because not only are there too many of them, but none of them fail to give me that eerie paranoia after I read them or the chills while I read them.

Once again, they have submitted a downright terrifying story. It would be a shame if I didn’t narrate it.

It would be a shame if I....

If I never actually meet them.

This many run-ins with people with malicious intent, always getting away by some miracle, what if they one day don’t make it out alive to tell it.

My heart sinks a little at the thought. I feel like I know this person, like we’ve known each other for three years now. They know the things the whole internet knows about me, and I, along with my regular watchers, know their stories. That’s by no means enough, now that I think about it.

My next action is really out of character for me. I decide to reach out to them. My fingers fly over the buttons on my keyboard too fast for my rational side to try and stop them. Deep down, I know I’m doing the rightest wrong thing I’ve ever done. My previously sunk heart is now in its assigned spot again, beating quickly.

You don’t know what you’re doing

I maybe don’t, but knowing isn’t what’s important right now. I just wanna do it.

~ Hey, this is probably, what, your twentieth story so far. I’m just curious, how many of these are made up? By the way, your stories are amazing and I’ll probably keep narrating them even if they aren’t real. They’re just that good.

I send the email before I can talk myself out of it. I get up from my chair immediately afterwards, putting as much distance between me and the computer as possible, silently promising myself I won’t be checking my mail every five minutes.

Y/N’s POV

I anxiously refresh and refresh my email inbox, waiting for the dreaded email back from my professor. Being halfway through the college experience, I know how tough this professor’s class is and how much I suck at it. I sent him my completed assignment last night, barely making the deadline mind you, so now I’m sweating hardcore, staring my computer screen down.

After refreshing for the millionth time, I’m met with a new email which makes my heart stop for a second or two, my stomach dropping. Then I take the time to read the sender’s name, the subject and the first sentence of the email, and all the previous changes in me reverse. My heartbeat picks up speed, going faster than a galloping horse and my stomach turns, making me feel the sensation everyone calls ‘butterflies’.

Nah, man. This shit ain’t real. It can’t be.

But then again, what if it is. What if I’m about to full-on ignore my favorite youtuber because of my paranoia. Well, it’s not exactly unsupported. My life has been a shit show of unfortunate event and situations I’ve literally had to claw my way out of in order to stay alive. Now, when something of the sort happens, it’s just another weekday. However, I still wanna share these encounters. Not only because they are proof of the dangers girls have to deal with on a daily basis, but they also get narrated by one of my favorite people ever. What more can a girl ask for?

~ Listen, I’m really not looking forward to getting catfished. Please leave me alone

It’s short, not sweet, and to the point. It’s easy to understand, and it clearly states that I’m not falling for it if it’s a scam, but if it’s real....someone call 911 cause I think I’ll faint.

~ I get it, you have trust issues. But that’s understandable. From the creepy guy messaging you on all your social media. To the stalker you had from you high school, or even that teacher that turned out to not be a teacher at all and just a pedo, I see where the lack of trust is coming from. But I assure you, they only thing I wanna do is chat.

The shock and happiness overwhelm me when the reply arrives not even ten minutes later. 

Holy shit, this is him.

I start typing and then erase the typed half-sentence at least three times before receiving another email from him. From Corpse Husband. Corpse freaking Husband. How the fuck am I supposed to compose myself enough to reply to him, let alone sound cool and leave a good impression.

My hand shakes as I click the newly received email.

~ You probably don’t know what to say. Either that or you just don’t wanna talk to me. If you’re just baffled and surprised, reply with your name. If you want me to fuck off, ignore this email completely.

The smile I didn’t realize was there grows into a grin as small bursts of laughter escape me. Laughter caused by disbelief and shock. The type of laugh you let out when you score a good mark on the test you thought you completely fucked up.

~ Y/N. My name’s Y/N. 

PS: The stories are all 100% real. All happened. In the order I sent them too. And before you ask, I guess I’m just unlucky, but you are proving me wrong right now.

I don’t know where that confidence at the end came from, but I don’t care really. All that matters is that this might just actually be happening and it might be the best thing to ever happen to me.

~ Man, you’ve had it rough. Tell me, is there an easier way to access you than email. Like Insta DMs? I feel we have a lot to talk about and email is not the most convenient.

At this point, it feel so much like a fever dream that I decide to treat it as though it is. I just go with the flow.

~ Yeah, but first.....am I really not being catfished right now?

The email I receive as a reply to this message is empty of text but there’s a file attached. Not gonna lie, I am a bit hesitant to open it, but I decide that if this turns bad, I’ll just have to deal with it. In the meantime, I’ll believe it’s not a scam.

It’s an audio file: “No, Y/N, you are not being catfished.”

That voice. That god damn voice. It could convince me of anything. 

And now it’s convinced me into believing him. And finally letting out that squeal I was holding back before sending him my Instagram username.

#corpse #corpse husband #corpse husband fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #x reader #reader #requests open #request #husband #corpse simp #love #romance #among us

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1

🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶

Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??

Yes.

Wushanju Crew Chat

Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.

Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS

Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.

Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES

Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol

What glittery bead curtain

Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.

What could this mean?

Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?

Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES

Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat

Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU

I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS

BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING

GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS

PANIC AT THE DISCO

Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.

Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.

Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT

SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?

Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES

BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop

Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.

Wang Pangzi: LOL

Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wu Xie: okay who’s next

Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN

REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)

Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?

Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.

Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL

ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS

Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted

Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL

Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off

Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year

He and I go way back

Zhang Qiling: Way back where?

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT

IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS

YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM

Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.

Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY

LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE

Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.

Main Chat

Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival

Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that

Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.

Re: the trip

He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju

Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital

And frankly the hospital hates him too

Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL

I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT

A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE

WOULDNT YOU SAY

XIOAGE

Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?

Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?

Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.

ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED

Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?

Li Cu: uh nope

Unless u count the outdated memes

Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing

Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet

Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really

(I mean maybe? but who knows)

Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age

Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age

Wu Xie: …hey:(

Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.

Wu Xie: ????????

Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck

Unknown Number: …close enough.

Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that

Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck

Are you

Li Cu is underage FYI

So Im staying on this chat

Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that

Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g

u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember

And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat

we have been discussing u

Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!

What a surprise:)

hi so nice to meet you:)

Main Chat:

Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT

FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT

IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS

Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?

Not my problem? Good.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU

HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH

IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE

Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance

has he been collecting on two allowances??

Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?

Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.

Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?

Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)

Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.

another dangerous adventure. again. prick.

Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago

Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago

Li Cu: That isn’t funny.

Unknown Number: …What?

Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.

…I use humor as a coping mechanism?

Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?

Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means

He doesn’t cope, like ever

In fact

It’s kind of why we met

Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh

Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao

Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?

Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why

Main Chat

Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv

Who do we know who spends time in jail

Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process

Also how’s the curtain case coming along

Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?

Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure

Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH

Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat

Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit

u are sus as hell

Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night

I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles

Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved

Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.

Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha

Forget i said anything

Delete this chat even

Li Cu: shit I meant

Legally, biologically, I meant—

shit

…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?

Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!

Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here

lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e

Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff

Wu Xie: uh…okay.

Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail

As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less

I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”

Well maybe the sand

that shit was everywhere

Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.

Li Cu: no, no it’s just

I do technically have a dad

who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.

So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there

Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh

Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right

Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that

Li Cu: ew tmi

Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery

I moved my stuff here, I live here now

So you can’t die anymore

Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned

anyways abt the curtain

Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea

I am in tears.

Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here

Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb

Go hug Pangzi or something

Maybe delete this chat

Or the curtain thing

Focus on the curtain thing

Just stfu and go away

Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3

Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.

Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything

Main Chat

Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*

Wang Pangzi: I MEAN

HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH

BUT SURE

CUTE I GUESS

Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)

Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.

Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE

NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN

DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID

Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid

Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?

Wu Xie: right

Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH

Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.

Unnamed Chat:

Unknown number: so the curtain…

Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know

Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive

Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out

#ultimate note #whomst #wu xie #dmbj #the lost tomb #pingxie #iron triangle

[jenomark]

A-Z Analysis of WinWin

💚 Smut

💚 18+

💚 This is only fantasy

A ⇥ Aftercare

  After sex, he becomes more confident. He wants to express all of his feelings. It’s like something has taken over him. Him coming for the first or second time isn’t when the pleasure stops. He’ll want to kiss the heated skin of your belly, turn you over and kiss up your spine. He wants to keep going, again and again. He’s never truly turned off. 

When he has finally cooled down and the fire has left him, he turns into someone a little cold. Wants to reach out more but doesn’t know how. Ends up leaving the unspoken words for another time.

B ⇥ Body Part

  His favorite body part on himself are his abs. He wants to always be proud and confident in them, so that’s what he tells others. His favorite body part on you is your neck. He likes how your body reacts when he kisses you there. Is also a boob and ass man-not picky at all.

C ⇥ Cum

  His cum is thick, and when he releases, he feels happy. He has a desire for you to come on his skin so that he can measure yours against his. Secretly loves when your cum is in his pubic hair.

D ⇥ Dirty Secret

  His dirtiest secret is how much he thinks about using your body as much as he wants. He wants to fuck you until you’re raw. He wants to keep going until he’s so tired that he can hardly move. He wants his cock in every hole. He wants his lips on all of your sensitive parts. Since he has good self-control, he barely gets to do things like this.

E ⇥ Experience

  Not experienced with love. Has been very close to penetration, but has only had his dick sucked and played with.

F ⇥ Favorite position

  His favorite position is when he’s sitting and you’re riding him on the couch. He likes being close enough to your face so that he can kiss you. He likes choking you comfortably. He enjoys the intimacy of having you right there. He wants you to see how you make him feel, even if the notion embarrasses him. 

G⇥  Goofy

  He’s not wasting anyone's time, so making jokes mid-fuck isn’t his deal. If things go wrong, he pretends they don’t. But he’s so cute, so his partner will have an easy time getting him to smile and relax. 

H ⇥ Hair

  He doesn’t mind body hair. To him, it’s all natural. As long as it doesn’t get in the way, he doesn’t care. Likes holding your hair when he’s fucking you from behind. Not into pulling it, just likes feeling the silky strands in his fingers.

I ⇥ Intimacy

    Rather than spilling his feelings, he wants to show them. He wants to create something together with you. Can get really intense in the moment. Loses himself the most after sex, but since he’s so about self-control, it can come off rather tame. Believes he has a lot to learn about romance.

J ⇥ Jack Off

  Asks you to send him videos so he can masturbate to them. Comes all over his chest. Doesn’t masturbate that much, truthfully. 

K ⇥ Kink

  Your underwear is a big kink. He wants you to come in them and wear them throughout the day. He wants to know how wet you are, to reach into your panties and feel it for himself. His other kink is roleplay, but his idea of fun is one where you fake argue and have hot make-up sex. 

L ⇥ Location

  He’s more introverted, so he’d feel his best self when he’s comfortable. The bedroom is his favorite place to fuck because he’s scared of someone walking in on him while he’s being vulnerable. Has a lot of irrational and rational fears surrounding public sex.

M ⇥ Motivation

  Turned on by the thought of losing control. Turned on by your natural smell. Turned on by your breasts. Turned on by your ass. Turned on by your intelligence. 

N ⇥ No

  Turned off by someone who completely shuts off after sex. Turned off by lazy people. Turned off by someone playing hard to get. 

O ⇥ Oral

  If you’re giving him head, he needs you to pay attention to his balls. Wants you to act like it’s the best thing you’ve ever tasted. He knows his cum is thick, so if you can swallow it, he’ll do anything for you. Likes stopping mid-fuck to eat you out. 

P ⇥ Pace

  You set the pace, and he will follow your lead. He doesn’t care if it’s slow or fast. He just doesn’t want you to stop. 

Q ⇥ Quickie

He doesn’t mind quickies. Any kind of sex is good sex. 

R ⇥ Risk

  He wants more sexual experiences, but he’s not okay with stepping outside of his comfort zone. Therefore, his idea of risk is very minimal and safe.

S ⇥ Stamina

  He wants to keep going. He has it in him to keep going, and he will indulge some days. Looks innocent, but he’s always thinking about sex, so that means his mind often has more stamina than his body does.

T ⇥ Toy

  Toys are a thought, but he never brings them into the experience. He’s curious, but scared. 

U ⇥ Unfair  

  He likes teasing because he likes having a taste of power. If you want it, he likes taking it away. Sometimes he’ll stop thrusting just to hear you beg him to keep going.  He would appreciate if you did the same. 

V ⇥ Volume

  He is loud. His moans are high-pitched and unique, like his laugh. You’ll often have to cover his mouth with your hand. 

W ⇥ Wild Card

  You’ll be so tired, your joints achy, and your body feeling like it’s been split in two. WinWin will flip you onto your back and kiss a path up your spine. His cock will be felt resting against your ass, and as his lips make their way up to your neck, you’ll spread yourself enough so he can slip inside. You’ll be amazed by how hard he is, even after coming for the second time. From the back, you’ll feel his cock and the weight of his body. His breath will move your hair. His moans will fill the room. The throbbing of your pussy will beat as much as your heart. WinWin will reach underneath your stomach, shoving his hands over you to rub your clit again. The thrusting will move faster and harder, pushing your body further up the bed. While still inside of you, WinWin will help you onto your back. He’ll adjust himself, thumbing your clit as he moves inside of you. You’ll moan and he’ll look at you, his sharper features softening. He’ll still himself inside you to keep himself warm, the brink of an orgasm threatening to crash over. 

X ⇥ X-Ray

His cock is long and thicker than you’d think. Looks impressive naked. 

Y ⇥ Yearning

  As long as he feels a connection, his sex-drive is high. He wants to be intimate. He wants to scratch the itch. He wants to always remain turned on.

Z ⇥ ZZZZ

  Falls asleep peacefully when he’s done. Looks so sweet that you’ll wonder how someone so adorable could be so fuckable.

#winwin #dong sicheng #winwin smut #nct #wayv #dong sicheng smut #sicheng #nct smut #wayv smut #nct 127 #nct 127 smut #nct winwin #nct winwin smut #nct a-z analysis #winwin a-z analysis #FINALLY #sorry for taking forever my dudes

[opinionated810]

Fluffy A-Z: Kun

A: activities (things you’d do together)

Once you’ve been together a while, I think Kun would love having you in the studio while he’s working on music. It’s the biggest passion in his life and he would want to share the whole process with the person he loves the most. I also think he’d love more stay-at-home type of dates - cooking together, watching a movie, etc. He could probably be convinced to put on a magic show for you. When you do have outside dates, I think he’s kind of the traditional dinner and a movie kind of guy. Occasionally would take you to the symphony or musical theatre.

B: beauty (things about you he finds physically appealing)

I think Kun would find nice skin beautiful - and not just the skin on your face. I think he likes the feeling of soft skin under his fingers and would always be absentmindedly stroking your arm or leg or your back under your shirt.

C: cuddle style

Kun loves when you sit next to each other and you just lean your head on his shoulder. He can breathe in your scent, put his arm around your shoulders, and pull you tight next to him. His hands never stop running up and down your arm or leg. Likes when you initiate this kind of cuddling.

D: deal breakers (his relationship deal breakers)

For Kun, I think the biggest deal breaker would be someone who is so set in their ways of thinking and beliefs that there is no room for him to try and insert some of his own beliefs. I think he likes people who know what they want and who they are, but he also needs to feel like he can have an influence on them and their beliefs and ways of thinking. So someone who is too stubborn and inflexible about their ideas (or being open to new ideas) would be a complete turn-off for him.

E: education (what and how you learn from each other)

I think Kun enjoys discussing and debating a lot - and the more outrageous or weird the belief/thought/idea that you’re discussing (like, would you rather be a pirate or a ninja?), the better! He also enjoys deeper conversations and debates, but also really likes the fun, playful, and random conversations you have. From these conversations, he not only learns what your take on the subject is, but he also learns how you argue and debate and how your mind works when confronted with strange ideas. He appreciates the quirks that people have in their way of thinking - even if he completely disagrees with you.

F: first impression (the impression he gives off on your first date)

I think Kun would be a bit nervous but would hide it pretty well. He might get a bit clumsy and bump into the dinner table or drop his fork, but nothing too much to give away his nervousness. He would try really hard to always seem interested in what you were saying - even if he found the subject a bit boring or didn’t know anything about it. Overall, I think he would give off a very interested, attentive, and patient vibe on your first date.

G: gifts (things he buys for you)

Because of his thing for nice skin (see B above), I think Kun would buy you a lot of skincare stuff: lotions, bath bombs, perfumes, etc. He would also see this as one way for him to encourage you to pamper yourself. He knows that if he buys you something like this you would use it because it came from him.

H: happy (when he’s the happiest with you)

Kun would be the happiest with you when he can surprise you with something you’ve wanted or wanted to do. It can be difficult for him to keep secrets from you because a)he just doesn’t like keeping things from you in general, and b) he just gets so excited to share things with you that he can’t keep much a secret. So when he’s able to surprise you, and you like the surprise, he’s really happy that he was able to show you how much he cares for you in a fun and exciting way. He loves seeing your happiness at his surprises.

I: introduction (when and how he introduces you to the people in his life)

I think Kun would introduce you to the other WayV members pretty quickly into your relationship. It would probably take a bit longer with some of the other members of the other units (mostly just because there are so many of them). Your first meeting with WayV members would be really casual and most likely unplanned - you and Kun are just watching a movie at his place when someone comes home early. But it’s not a big deal because he’s talked about you to them - and about them to you. It would take him longer to introduce you to his family, but I still don’t think it would be really long. You’re an important part of his life and he would want his family to know you and share in his (and your) happiness.

J: jealousy

I feel like Kun would be quietly jealous. While his facial expressions may give his jealousy away, he wouldn’t ever let on verbally if there was anyone else in the room. When it’s just the two of you, he’s very verbal in telling you how he feels, but he does it in a pretty matter-of-fact way. He wouldn’t lose his temper but I can see him potentially becoming a bit childish in his mannerisms and language - pouting and rolling his eyes a bit. But again, I don’t think he’d have any problem talking rationally with you about it.

K: knew he was in love with you when ...

He had to be away for something for a long period of time (tour, filming, promotions, etc.) and you were understanding that he might not be able to talk or text with you very often - if at all. You would miss each other, but you knew that this was part of the deal when you started dating. And your grace about it (even though it sucked and you were sad and going to miss him) really showed him that you care about him and understand the demands of his career.

L: love language

Acts of Service - Kun would show his love by doing the little, everyday things that need doing. Even though he cooked dinner (your favorite), he would tell you to rest on the sofa while he cleaned up and did the dishes. If you needed to take something back to the store, he’d volunteer to do it on his way to work the next day. If you bought a bookshelf for your apartment, he’d put it together for you.

M: make-out session (his favorite type of kisses)

I actually think Kun really likes fun, teasing kisses. If you were to give him a quick peck on the lips then start to pull away, he’d try to get you to kiss him again. The more you pepper his face with small, quick kisses, the more he’d want to kiss you deeply. But he’d let you tease him for a bit first.

N: nicknames (his for you and what he likes to be called by you)

I feel like Kun would call you something fairly romantic and traditional. I can see him calling you “love” a lot. For Kun, I actually think he’d enjoy it if you called him names that slightly teased him - like “Grandpa” because he’s so cautious, or “Gordon” after grumpy chef Gordon Ramsey. He’d love a nickname based off an inside joke or story that only the two of you share.

O - odor (what he smells like)

For some reason, I think Kun smells really masculine (if that makes any sense). I think he’d use a fragrance that had a lot of typically “masculine” scents in it: woodsy, deep, earthy, etc. But I think he’d wear it lightly so that you can only really smell it when you’re cuddling.

P: pda

I don’t think Kun is big into PDA. If your relationship has been made public, I think the only thing he’d be comfortable doing is holding hands. If it isn’t public, I don’t think he’d be into any PDA - he wouldn’t want to draw attention to you. In the dorms - in front of the other members, managers, etc. - he wouldn’t hesitate to hold hands, kiss you, have you sit on his lap, cuddle, etc.

Q: quirks (odd things he does)

When he doesn’t understand something you’re trying to tell him - or when you’re having trouble explaining something to him - Kun will tilt his head to the side and kind of frown, but with a hint of a smile on his face. He’s not aware he does it - it’s just his natural reaction to finding you cute when you’re attempting to explain something to him.

R: romantic gestures

Early on in the relationship, I think he would be a bit shy about doing anything really grandiose, over the top, or really romantic. He wouldn’t want to come across as too enthusiastic until he was sure of your feelings for him. But once you’ve been together for a while and have both said “I love you”, I think he’d try to think of some really creative things - like leaving post-it notes with one word on them throughout the house, and when you put them together you get a love note.

S: saying I Love You (who says it first)

I feel like Kun would say it first. He wouldn’t wait too long after he realized it, but he would definitely want to make sure you returned the sentiment (or at least were close to doing so) before he said anything. Chances are you’d know anyway from the way he would look at you and the way he would treat you.

T: tail (what pets and animals you’d have together)

I can see you adopting numerous animals together: dogs, cats, even some more unique animals like ferrets or hedgehogs. I think that as long as they were rescue animals, Kun would be totally fine with any pets that could live in the apartment with you (so no horses, goats, etc.).

U: upbringing (what kind of dad he’d be)

I can see Kun being a strict but fun dad. I think he’d always make sure his kids knew and followed the rules he set, but he would also make sure they knew why the rules were in place - something that would be very important to him. And if his kids challenged a rule with good logic and reasoning, I think Kun would be flexible enough to change the rule.

V: vacation style

Kun is a natural leader and planner. Because of that, I think his vacation style is very organized, detailed, and everything is planned out to the minute. It doesn’t matter if you’re relaxing on the beach or exploring a large city - he’ll have the whole thing planned in no time. He’ll know exactly when and where you’re going, how you’re getting there, and what to do when you get there.

W: wild card

I think Kun is someone who is quite certain about what he wants out of life and out of a life partner. He’s also very focused on the things he wants. But I also think that sometimes he can be so focused on what he thinks he wants that he misses some other good things. He would be really appreciative if you were to force him to notice and enjoy something he would typically overlook. He would probably resist a bit at first, but after you explained why he should pay attention, he would do it and enjoy it.

X: eXtremes (the two extreme sides of his personality in a relationship)

I feel that when Kun is hurt he can be very quiet and not really give you the opportunity to explain or apologize (at least right away). He would need some quiet and distance in order to work through his feelings before you talk it out. His emotions when hurt can get pretty dark and he can be full of doubts about himself. On the other hand, he can be very childlike (not childish) in his approach to showing you his feelings when he’s happy. He likes trying to surprise you and gets genuine enjoyment out of your reactions - he loves to laugh, clap, and make funny faces when you react to his surprises.

Y: yes (how often he gives in to you)

I think Kun would give in to you fairly often - but he’d make you work for it first! He can be pretty stubborn and set in his ways of thinking (although he is open to new ideas) so you would need to come up with a good argument. But a lot of the time he’d give in anyway - he just likes hearing your argument and seeing how your mind works.

Z: zzz (sleeping style when you’re together)

Generally, I think Kun sleeps on his side, and i can see him hugging a pillow as well. So when you sleep together, he’s the big spoon while you sleep - and you’re the pillow he hugs. I think he’d really like falling asleep with his nose pressed into the back of your neck and your legs entwined.

... NEXT UP: NSFW A-Z: Doyoung

#nct #wayv #kun #nct a-z #wayv a-z #nct fluff #wayv fluff #kun fluff

[maxfieldparrishes]

intro to genevieve, pt. 4

Getting close to the end now!!! Only a few more to go!!! @ocelotsflatass it’s almost done!!! Here’s the reference post!!!

S: Streets 1. Viv is not particularly street smart, mostly because she’s never needed to be, but she’s pretty cautious and not dumb enough to believe everything somebody told her. That said, the streets are not her scene.  2. She’d give money to someone on the street, no question, but she sometimes wonders why there’s not a better social safety net, or why the available services are not better promoted.  3. She’s never gotten into a fight, but could be provoked enough to throw hands. Harassing her or assaulting her or her friends and not taking the hint when she tells you to stop is usually a surefire way to blow every single one of her fuses. She’s not big, but god is she pissed and when she goes feral, she goes feral. Anger at your own risk.  4. Nothing physical aside from one dude trying to grab her in a club, but she has been verbally harassed, catcalled, and followed multiple times. Definitely has one of those lipstick knives or cat-ear knuckle-duster things. Would like to take a self-defense class. Dante is more than happy to help train her.  5. Overall, yeah. Viv isn’t a big risk taker by nature and the only times she’s done something Not Smart is if she’s under the influence, but she’s pretty level-headed and at least tries to be aware of her surroundings and the people around her. But she’s usually pretty good. Even Not Smart for her is still pretty smart overall. 

T: Truth 1. Is she honest? Yes, almost to a fault. Almost to bluntness, which can be aggravating for quite a few people. It’s usually not out of meanness, she just believes in being direct.  2. She can usually tell when people are lying, or if they’re hiding something at the very least. She’s very perceptive, and very persistent if she feels someone’s not being upfront with her, which can be annoying.  3. Viv is usually honest about most things, so people don’t really think of her as someone who lies, which means she can get away with quite a few.  4. She has, but she can’t change the past. And she does believe that sometimes lies are kinder than the truth, even if keeping the lie up or telling it to begin with upsets her own conscience.  5. I’m... not really sure what this means. Has she spread rumors, or has she had rumors spread about her? Yeah, middle school sucked. She was kind of known as the weird girl in high school, but that didn’t bother her too much. 

U: Underdog 1. The bullying she experienced was mostly the bullying-by-exclusion, behind-the-back stuff that happens in middle and high school. She had enough pride to snap back at people if they insulted her to her face, which happened, but very infrequently, and people did learn quickly not to go at her directly because she would fight back.  2. She may have gone along with people who bullied other people, or taken sides in group/clique fights, but she wasn’t tormenting people in the hallway or taking their lunch money or anything. She was very sensitive and reactive in middle and high school, though, and could be a bit high strung. Viv wasn’t exactly the easiest person to deal with back then, but she has mellowed out considerably.  3. She’s never been physically attacked by a bully. She did kind of rough up some other kids as a young child, but it was mostly done out of a sense of rambunctious fun and not meanness, and she stopped when most people got bigger than her. But she does still feel bad about it. She feels that she was kind of a mean kid, which... she kind of was, but also wasn’t? It’s kind of weird. 4. Has she ever been doubted??? Uh... she has historically been dismissed about her concerns or complaints, which, for the most part, were valid and justifiable. She’s mentioned things to her parents before and been ignored, and unfortunately those things grew to be much bigger problems than they should have been. Viv fell through the cracks of her family for a long time, and she’s kind of got a chip on her shoulder about it.  5. Viv is surprisingly good with children and enjoys math as a subject, even if she sucks at actually doing it. She’s interested in a lot of activities and wants to learn a lot of practical things, like woodworking or knitting or how to fix her own car. Learning new things, however, is one area of her life where she is not particularly patient. 

V: Vomit 1. She can, particularly if she eats something that doesn’t agree with her, or during a migraine, which she gets more often than she likes.  2. She doesn’t really get a lot of stomach aches per se, but she can get nauseous pretty easily. Motion sickness is one of her nausea triggers, especially in a moving car, which is why she prefers to be the driver the majority of the time, or at least ride shotgun.  3. Viv is a mother hen to the max. She will make you soup, tea, run to get you crackers or whatever it is you need, force medicine down your throat, you name it. It makes sense, because one of her strongest love languages is caretaking and acts of service.  4. When she’s ill, Viv generally likes hot tea, a dumb movie marathon, taking as many drugs as she can stand, but mostly she likes sleeping it off. She also finds hot baths to be very soothing, if not always helpful.  5. Viv can get indigestion so her stomach can gurgle because of all the acid, but she mostly retches and coughs when she vomits. It’s very intense, and it sounds awful. Dante thought she was legit dying when he heard her vomiting for the first time during a migraine, and absolutely flipped his shit when he saw how awful she was feeling. It’s horrible to hear.

W: Water 1. She tries to, and she’s always yammering about how important it is to stay hydrated, but she can slip up with this. She’s also constantly bitching about single-use plastic, so you won’t find any plastic water bottles in DMC, and if you somehow do, she didn’t put them there.  2. She does know how to swim, but she’s no competitive swimmer. She could probably keep herself afloat long enough to get back to the boat, as long as it wasn’t going too fast or wasn’t too far away, or for someone to rescue her, but if it’s long-term survival in the ocean that you’re talking about she’s kind of fucked.  3. She doesn’t really enjoy swimming per se, she enjoys being in water as long as it’s relatively safe. Viv is actually kind of afraid of deep and open water, because she’s also kind of afraid of drowning... or any kind of death by suffocation, really.  4. She’s an... okay diver at best. She’s never gone scuba diving or snorkeling, but she does think that doing so would be fun. Viv would also like to swim with sharks, because she likes sharks. Also alligators.  5. She’s not good at rationing her oxygen, which is something her brother--who was very good at swimming--tried to help her with. Her breath control needs work. 

X: Xylophone 1. Viv likes indie music, rock music, and folk music in particular, but she’s not absolutely married to any single genre. She does not like stadium country, however, with only a few exceptions. Can roll with Dante’s metal, although she prefers symphonic metal herself.  2. She doesn’t have a single favorite song, but she does have a few long-lasting faves or songs that personally mean a lot to her. Viv will go through periods where she’ll be intensely into a few specific songs and listen to them ad nauseam, then move on to something else or have her interest in them die down.  3. She has a few fave bands and artists--Joanna Newsom, the Mountain Goats, the Decemberists, Led Zeppelin, Tom Waits, Warren Zevon, or whatever passes for them in the DMC world.  4. It’s not her talent, and she can only sing some songs well, but her voice won’t make your ears bleed. In the right circumstances it’s actually almost pretty. However, she is pretty good at piano and would like to learn guitar and cello. Again, Dante is happy to oblige, but they differ because he’s self-taught and Viv can read music... but they find a middle ground and jam together, though not without some Shenanigans. Zoe can play ukelele and guitar, and she and Viv used have some jam sessions.  5. This is one of her most closely-guarded secrets, but she does actually like some rap and hip-hop. One of her favorites comes on at a party? She’s spitting. Everyone is shocked. 

#oc: genevieve #oc stuff #writeblr #my writing #i actually have no idea if dante is self-taught musician or not but i'm not sure how he would have taken guitar lessons as a kid #i'm so excited to get this done i'm forgetting things whew

[kylecoopers]

don’t you know i’m no good for you? i’ve learned to lose, you can’t afford to.

usually i DON’T post event threads but BC OF THE FACT THAT I THINK THIS HAD A LOT OF GROWTH FOR KYLE and also bc i really don’t wanna lose it, i’m gonna save it. so um ty @scnnydee katie for putting up w/ me all night to write this bc u helped me w/ kyle sm wow

trigger warnings: i’m gonna just urge u to be cautious while reading it as a whole bc of the emotions n stuff but im p sure nobody’s gonna read this shit FDALKSJHG

face illuminated by the burning fire in front of him, kyle sat mainly to himself. a random concoction had been created in the red solo cup he held in his hand, the condensation making his hands cold to the touch. he simply found himself admiring the scene around him, the bodies of people that slowly multiplied as the night burned on. it was something he'd never witnessed, no summer night nostalgia was there to bring him back to anything like this. it was new to him, new memories with new people that would make this a night to remember. his eyes scanned the crowd, locking on a few familiar faces before finally locking eyes with someone, hand waving at them to come over.

______

sonny drifted through the crowd, eyes searching, as always, for one face above the rest. when he finally sees him, he can't help but smile, approaching kyle with a gleeful shimmy of his shoulders. "heya handsome, how's your night been so far?"

______

kyle lights up as the taller of the two closes the gap between them, arms instinctively wrapping around him. "i thought you weren't gonna be here?" he pulled back, eyes crinkling at the sides. "well, it's definitely better now that you're here. what about you? how's your break been?"

______

he doesn't even think twice before engulfing the smaller boy in a bear hug, the affection startlingly natural. it's over too soon, and he finds himself oddly disappointed as kyle pulls away, hands both cupping around his solo cup if only to have something to do. "i mean, i've been sitting in the sun, drinking, and exploring. that's literally my dream life. what's not to love?" he shrugged, eyes never leaving his face. "what about you?"

______

the warmth was something he'd missed, face buried in his chest until he assumed it was simply not socially acceptable anymore. "that's good! honestly, i've never been somewhere so warm and comforting and i kinda... like alabama? that's so weird to say" his nose scrunched as a laugh tumbled out of his mouth at the idea of what he just said. "oh, it's been really good," he falters slightly, eyes breaking from his to look anywhere else for the moment.

______

If he notices how their lingering embrace, he brushes the thought aside, too drunk to dwell on frivolous thoughts. "No, don't say that! This is the deep South, both you and I are not welcome here." He joked, though the truth lingers beneath his words. "You're right, though,  it is warm. And there's something to be said for Southern comfort." As he speaks, he leans against the wall, the distance between him and Kyle never really growing. His eyes study his face, notice the way his smile falters and his eyes shift. "Oh? You're lying. What's wrong."

______

he laughed slightly, sighing as he shook his head. "yea, i know. though honestly it's not just the south, it's like... everywhere but california, i think," he shrugged, "plus i mean... i think i'm passing? i don't think people think that i'm... i don't know." he pauses, a sudden curse against the man that clearly can read him like the back of his own hand. "i, um, nah, like it's not that big of a deal," he's not sure if he's telling that to sonny or to himself.

______

he laughed slightly, sighing as he shook his head. "yea, i know. though honestly it's not just the south, it's like... everywhere but california, i think," he shrugged, "plus i mean... i think i'm passing? i don't think people think that i'm... i don't know." he pauses, a sudden curse against the man that clearly can read him like the back of his own hand. "i, um, nah, like it's not that big of a deal," he's not sure if he's telling that to sonny or to himself.

______

"Okay, true. But also not a good party topic." He grinned, shooting Kyle a wink as he sipped from his cup. Though not as wild as some Lockwood students, he appreciated the joyous atmosphere of a good party, the collaborative entertainment provided by a group of drunken college kids. He picks up on Kyle's comment with a more sympathetic gaze, a softer smile taking place on his face as he nods. "You're doing great. Don't worry about it." A hand finds his arm again, unable to resist the physical comfort for a few seconds before he lets it fall again. "Okay? But, like, what is it?"

______

"i mean, yeah," he laughs again, a sudden blush forming across his face at something as simple as a wink. he looks down, face breaking out in a grin at the butterflies that swarm his stomach before he shakes his head, as if it'll shake the feeling. "i mean, i don't know," he pauses, eyes searching his face before he goes and reaches for his hand, fingers twining together as he quickly tugs him away to the outskirts of the area . as soon as he's found them adequately away from all others, he turns to face sonny, the words stuck in his throat. "i..." something about it feels wrong, as if saying it allowed will alter something he's shaped in his mind. sonny wouldn't care though, he knew that.

______

The warmth of his hand is comforting, familiar. He wonders sometimes if their affection transcends the boundaries of friendship, of roommates. Discomfort pushes it away, however, the simple idea of that far too monumental to address ever, let alone at a party. A part of him worries, the look on Kyle's face concerning him even as the music from the party booms, echoing into the empty room they'd wandered into. Sincere eyes search his face, eager to pull the truth from him - he can't help if he doesn't know what's wrong. "What? You can tell me. Please tell me."

______

it feels wrong to even say allowed but he powers through it, clearing their throat. "i, um, okay, it's a long story," he can feel himself rambling already. "i... i lost my virginity?" he's meek now, eyes looking away to hide. "i, like, that in itself isn't bad. but i mean, i lost it to flynn and he's avoided me the entire time, and..." he wrings his hands together, fingers shaking. "i'm sure it's just like, oh it was just a hookup and it didn't matter and it shouldn't matter and i know he just hooks up with people and i'm just.. i'm worried it was me?" he looks up, biting his lip. "like, i don't... i don't want him like that. i don't care if it was him, or if it was someone else, or like. i don't know. i just can't get it out of my head that i just..." none of this is making sense, so he trails off.

_____

The confession stuns him, not at all what he'd been expecting to hear. A few seconds pass where his mind is simply blank, unable to process anything except the thought. Not that he'd thought it would never happen, in fact, he was surprised it'd taken so long. But he'd hoped maybe, secretly, that it would be put off a little longer. He tunes in a little later in Kyle's explanation, eyes blinking back into focus with a small frown. "Damn..." He says, if only to buy himself time to think. A sip of his drink extends the silence further, and he stares off at the water, where a few people have taken to skinny dipping. "Well, look at it this way. It's done. If he's ignoring you that's his loss, bro, y'know? There'll be other....people."

______

kyle didn't know what kind of reaction but the sudden silence wasn't it. in fact, it was enough to take his breath away, eyes suddenly pooling with tears as he took a step back. "yea, like, yeah," he laughs it off though it's clear it means more to him than he's letting on, blinking rapidly before forcing out a smile."i mean, yea. definitely." all he can say is yeah, though the silence still was jarring. he crosses his arms, forcing out a laugh before turning his back to sonny. "i mean, honestly i don't know what i expected. but it's fine. there will be others." he almost feels like there won't be, a sudden urge to cocoon himself for the rest of his days. "anyway! sorry, i'm gonna go before i ruin the night anymore." and suddenly, his mood has switched, another laugh leaving his lips as he forces himself to not cry.

______

Sonny knows instantly that what he's said is wrong - but he doesn't know how else to console the sadness, only knows positive thinking, optimism, rationalization. It sucks, yeah, but what good was it to dwell? Besides, he can't quite think around the heavy weight in his stomach, can't form genuine sympathy when all he can focus on is the thought of Kyle with Flynn of all people. "I'm sorry, Kyle." A hand reaches out to touch him, hovers above his turned back, then drops again, too hesitant, uncertain. "You're not ruining the night. I'm just trying to get you to see the positive." He recognizes the hitch in Kyle's voice - this isn't the first time he's seen him cry, and there's a strong longing within him to pull him into another hug, to stroke his hair and wipe his tears. But he feels distanced, now, in the wake of this new information, like to do so would be to cross some new invisible barrier. "I'm sorry."

______

kyle can't bring himself to say words, another painfully awkward laugh, body trembling slightly as every emotion he felt inside of him dared to pour out. all it too was that last damn sorry, that last break in the silence for him to let out an audible sob, hand immediately clasping to his mouth to try to act as if it did not happen. "y-you don't get it," he finally says, turning back to him to try to face him but it's too painful. he snaps his head away, crossing his arms. "i can't just get over things like you do, i can't possibly ignore these things. they spill out every fucking minute i try. i am trying to keep it down and i'm sorry i can't be stoic but sometimes there is no positive," his voice surprises him, shaky yet strong as he finds another sob threatening to come out. "i'm going, again, i've done enough this week," and with that, he begins to walk off, fingers clasping together as he tries his hardest to glue himself back together emotionally.

_______

He doesn't know what's wrong with him. He can see Kyle's pain - it's visible in the shake of his shoulders, the contortion of his face as he fights to hold back's tears. And he can hear it in his voice, each shaky word pricking in his chest like a small wound. But he can't do anything about it, doesn't know what to do. His brain only produces platitudes, cheery phrases meant to distract or comfort. He wants to joke, to lighten the mood again - virginity is only a social construct. At least you got laid. Was the sex that bad? But he knows that will only make things worse. And Kyles seems to know this, his words poking exactly at the sore spots Sonny himself is glaringly aware of. And then he's walking away, and Sonny's heart aches, can't possibly let things end like this, so he finds himself stepping after him, trailing behind him like a lost puppy. "Kyle, wait, wait." A hand finds his wrist, tugs pleadingly for him to come back.

_______

"what?" his words come off as way snappier than he meant, turning to face sonny with narrow eyes that soon softened at just the sight of his face. and with that, he melted, all of the emotions he'd tried so hard to bottle up simply choking out of him. he closed his eyes tightly before simply hiding his face in sonny's chest, a loud inhale as he tried to gasp in hair before more sobs simply left his mouth. his arms were tight around sonny, fingers balling up the fabric of his shirt as he tried to simply clutch to him for dear life - to an extent, he was all he had. his rock, his best friend, his everything, and the thought of that was terrifying. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry," he murmured, looking up and letting his chin rest again the boy's chest. "i-i, i didn't mean to..." to snap? to act like a child? it was all he did and he wanted to simply hide. "i don't know, i'm sorry."

________

His tone hurts, sharp as a knife as it threatens to wound him. He pushes himself past the chilling feeling, however, no question in his mind as he accepts Kyle into his arms. Maybe he didn't know what to say, but he could hug, he could comfort and kiss and heal with physical touch, fuck the consequences. "Shh." He murmured, face now pressed into the top of Kyle's head. He feels his own eyes threatening to spill, overactive tear ducts betraying the extent of his feelings as he squeezes his eyes shut to try and avoid any leakage. "You don't have to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong."

_______

it's so much. he doesn't wanna break apart, he wants to cling to him for dear life and hope the ship doesn't sink. another inaudible sob leaves his mouth as he clings to him, throat closing. he can't find the words to make this better, nothing can make this better right now but the other's arms will try to act as a bandaid over his soul. with a few moments of silence, he's finally able to break through again, managing a, "i still have acted like a fucking ass." with that, he feels as if he has to break away, a reluctance as he loses his grip on the other and takes a step away, fingers reaching for his hands for some stability but he pulls back.

______

Sonny believes in the power of moments. An environment: the lighting, the music, the context of a conversation, and a few minutes and everything can change. Kyle pulls away, hands clinging to his like a lifeline and he feels himself entering a moment, feels it in his bones the same way he feels Kyle nestled in his heart. All the sadness, all the anger, it dissipates the moment their eyes meet, because all that matters is him, standing in front of him, trusting him. He doesn't think, acts purely on instinct as he jerks forward and kisses him, surprising even himself. Later, he will blame it on the alcohol, the moment, the emotions of the evening. But now, there's no excuse, just a sweet kiss between two best friends and the sound of the ocean crashing into shore.

______

it takes him a moment to realize what has happened and as soon as he does, he is startled, pulling back like a deer from the line of the trees. his mouth is wide open, heart heavy as he simply stares at sonny in disbelief before a sudden bravery takes him over. with one swift moment, he's closed the gap again, arms wrapped around his neck as their lips touch again. something about it is scary but exciting, and he closes his eyes tightly in order to keep from the emotions from spilling out. he lingers, emotions daring to spill out again before he pulls away again, eyes wide in realization as to what he just had done. this was a rift in their path, a sudden shift in everything that had been them. "i-i" he starts, catching his breath as he tries to find the words to say, but there are none. what is done is done and now he knows he can't take it back. this is it, this is the end, it's all he can think. there is nothing left and now they are left at the crossroads.

_______

Fuck. He should be upset. He's fucked everything up, and the realization should come with guilt, anxiety, at the very least, regret. But he can't bring himself to bring anything but pure joy, like things had finally fallen in to place. Kyle had always been the missing piece to him, the jagged edge that fit his own, and now it was out there, tossed into the air for the universe to judge. But there were so many reasons for it not to happen, for it him to step back to his side of the line and pretend it had never happened. "I'm sorry." He offered, uncertain, trying to read the situation in Kyle's face. "I - Maybe we should just go to bed."

______

he didn't get it. his head was swarming, fingers clasping together as he simply fought the urge to cry out, to scream. how did this seem so fucked, how did all of this seem so out of place. he didn't though. he stood in front of sonny, eyes big as he forced himself to speak. "yeah." it wasn't bitter, it wasn't full of emotion, it was just that. the word yeah. after all, he couldn't argue. "you know..." i don't want to just end it there? apologizing after a kiss tears my heart apart? i just want to stay? all these thoughts swarmed his mind but nothing came out, mouth dry for a moment. "we can forget it, if you're that sorry for it." he looks back over to him, biting his lip before shaking his head. "you... you don't have to worry. i get it." he simply nodded, changing the subject "we can go to bed though. i think i'm gonna... shower." he nods, beginning to trudge off of the beach without waiting for him.

_______

This was for the best. This was safer, easier. This was the right thing to do. Maybe if he told himself that enough, he would believe it. Kyle was vulnerable right now, even if there was to be something between them - which he still wasn't convinced of - now wasn't the right time. And yet...He can still feel the kiss pressed against his lips, teeth finding his lower lip in an attempt to mimic the feeling as he feels a piece of him detach again, leaving behind a gaping hole. "Okay." He doesn't know what else to say without crying, and that was the last thing he wanted. "I don't..." Regret it. He didn't regret it. But he can't finish the sentence, instead just casting his eyes downwards. He trails a few steps behind Kyle, dreading the thought of sleeping in the same room as him, so close but separated by an intangible distance. This time, he doesn't make any effort to catch up to him, instead simply watching his figure - then, at the last minute, he decides to stay at the party, not wanting to end the night on such a sour note. If anyone could pretend nothing was wrong, it was Sonny Thompson, king of turning up the watts on his million dollar smile. "Hey - Kyle?" He swallows, the name sounding different, now. "I think I'm going to stay here for a bit longer."

_______

he felt like a wounded bird, he wasn't sure how he was going to fly after this. the silence was unbearable, hands still clutched together for some sort of stability. his voice breaks through the air and he looks back, and even the simple words are enough to hit him like knives to his throat. hurt registers on his face but it's all he can offer, no more tears can be found in his eyes as he simply stares in silence. he didn't want him to go, was it all really that bad? he clenched his jaw, the words he wishes to breathe staying stuck in his throat. this would never be the same truly, and all he could think was that it was his fault. the only underlining factor in all of this, in flynn, in his family, in sonny, it was him. he felt his stomach drop at this realization and simple forced out a smile to sonny, nodding. "yeah. i would expect nothing different." it was so hard to say it, so hard to feel it but he felt as if he should go. "i hope your night is good." it's so hard to say, it's like choking on roses that he dared to plant in his gut, like everything was slipping. but, he smiled, turned around, and walked away.

#( && call me friend but keep me closer. - ft. sonny ! ) #water:event003 #maybe idk #save #( * sonny ! )

[bubltae]

umm 3 for onho then? if not then 27? thank you!!

song: 4 walls by f(x)

onho are on a little weekend getaway at a small town and they just do domestic shit + emo jinki

i seriously apologize for this random hiatus i’ve been on. i don’t really have an excuse other than i hit major writer’s block and even the thought of writing was just a burden. but i did it! hope you enjoy LOL

The first thought that comes to mind when Minho opens his eyes is Where the actual hell am I? The bright white walls reflected by the stale morning sunlight, accented with basic pictures of sea stars and oceans sends Minho cascading down a spiral of absolute fear and panic. He doesn’t remember the last time he’s woken up in an unfamiliar place, other than that one night he hooked up with some guy in a hotel apartment five years ago, and three years before he started dating Jinki.

Minho moves his head frantically left and right as he sits up, immediately regretting it as his head begins to violently throb, bursting like several banging drums. He nurses it gently. The window by the bed is shining yellow rays into the bedroom, illuminating the strewn open suitcases and articles of clothing like Minho’s favorite green, froggie shirt and Jinki’s pink sweater. Minho stops and does a double take. He leans forward, taking note of the several soju bottles and snack wrappers scattered over the light brown floor.

A flood of memories hits Minho like a dizzying wave of alcohol and he suddenly remembers oddly specific events of the previous night. He turns to his right and a smile as sweet as honey overcomes his panicked expression.

“Jinki hyung. Wake up,” Minho whisper shouts. He lightly nudges the sleeping lump lying like a rock, curled up by Minho’s ass.

Jinki makes a series of gargling moans. He stretches his arms up as far as possible and then relaxes, wrapping his arms around Minho’s lower torso, eyes squeezed shut. “My head hurts,” he hoarsely whispers, pressing his face into Minho’s shirt. The sound comes out muffled but then again, Minho has known Jinki for over four years.

Minho pats his upper back softly in understanding. “I know. Wanna eat some breakfast and then take some painkillers?”

Jinki shakes his head slowly, feeling the exact same pounding headache that is beating away at Minho’s fragile skull. “Don’t wanna move,” he whines. Minho laughs through his nose.

He looks over at the bedside table where the blinking digital clock rests and Minho’s eyes nearly pop out of his skull. Quickly, he grabs his phone off the same table and scrolls through a series of texts last sent nearly forty minutes ago.

j hyung at 9:38am: heyyy how’s the wknd getaway?

j hyung at 9:39am: don’t have sex too loudly jfc

j hyung at 9:39am: anyway what yall up to????

j hyung at 10:14am: hellllllooo???

j hyung at 10:59am: well u told me u were leaving for a city tour at 10:30 so i guess have fun jerk

It’s 11:39, according to both clocks in the room. Minho cannot believe he’s slept in this late and he let himself go to alcohol. It’s not a competitive thing, he swears.

“Jinki hyung. You need to get up. It’s almost noon and we’re still in bed you lazy-”

Jinki reaches up and shushes Minho by pressing his forefinger to his lips. “Your head hurts and my head hurts so let’s sleep some more.”

Minho instead, wiggles out of Jinki’s grasp, ignoring the protests of his crying migraine and slips some socks on after he swings his bare legs over the edge of the bed. He’s still wearing his sweatpants from last night. Great. So nothing happened in the middle of the night.

“Where are you going?” Jinki moans again.

“To get breakfast so I can take some Advil. I stole some of that chocolate tasting cereal from Taemin before we left,” Minho replies. He pads into the kitchen and then pauses when he hears the blankets from the bedroom rustle and Jinki trailing slowly behind him. Minho stifles a cackle at Jinki’s awful bedhead, mostly because it’s cute but also because he knows laughing will only make his headache worse than it already is.

Jinki grumbles something about getting the Advil while Minho pours two bowls of Cocoa Pebbles. Minho shrugs to himself as Jinki grabs two glasses for water when one slips from his hands as soon as it leaves the cabinet. In an attempt to catch said glass, Jinki releases the other glass, causing it to hit the wooden floor, resulting in a mess of broken shards. Jinki jumps back in fright, a startled yelp escaping his lips.

Minho whips his head around at the sound of Jinki’s screech, interrupting the pouring of Cocoa Pebbles. He runs over to the sight and sees Jinki, sitting with his back against the nearest cabinet, head buried in his arms.

“It’s not a big deal so don’t worry, okay?” Minho assures softly. He places a gentle hand on Jinki’s shoulder. “How’s your head?”

“I always break everything,” Jinki replies, voice heavier and muffled again. He ignores Minho’s last question.

“Please hyung. You’re nothing compared to Taemin. That kid can’t hold a name tag the right way for the life of him,” Minho says.

Jinki nods slowly. He rubs his temples again, eyes pressed shut and then he stands up. He orders Minho to continue pouring the cereal as he grabs a broom from the corner and sweeps the broken glass into a plastic bag to discard. He then finds a plastic cup this time and fills it with water before grabbing four Advil pills. He hands two to Minho and they quickly scarf down the cereal so they can take the cure of all bad hangovers.

“Well,” Minho finally says. “Since our morning plans were basically destroyed by this bitch of a hangover, what do we do now?”

Jinki ponders for a bit, sucking on his spoon and then drinking the rest of the chocolate milk.  “Nothing. Let’s just rest at home today. I’ll call the rental place about the broken cups and have that added to our bill but I really just want to do nothing today.”

“How ‘bout sitting in the sunroom?” Minho says, mostly to himself. Jinki agrees, elation laced in his tone, the glass dropping incident immediately leaving his mind. Minho takes the empty bowls and cups to the sink while Jinki sets up the room. When Minho arrives, he can’t help but grin at his adorable boyfriend. “You brought your laptop?”

Jinki nods in a way that says And you didn’t? “I kind of pirated Big Hero 6 and Mulan but only because they’re not on Netflix and Taemin hid the DVD’s from me.

“It’s called: Protecting the hyungs from Netflix and Chill,” Taemin says.

“But we wouldn’t even be watching Netflix,” Jinki protests.

“That’s not the point.”

“He’s gross,” Minho says, disgust on his face. “He learned it from Jonghyun hyung, I can tell.”

Jinki shrugs. “Well, Kibum’s done his best to try and ‘uncorrupt’ Taemin but we all know that wouldn’t have worked anyway.” He grabs Minho’s wrist and drags him to the little couch he’s sitting on. “Anyway, I like Mulan more so we’re gonna watch it first. I like Make a Man Out of You.”

Minho giggles, his face lighting up as he glances at his bundle of a boyfriend curling up next to him while the movie starts. They end up watching another two more movies together and then going for a short walk, hands intertwined, eyes lost on nature.

“Why are you dating me?” Jinki suddenly asks. He’s not looking anywhere near Minho’s face. He chooses to keep his focus on his feet, matching his stride with Minho.

Minho bites his lower lip. “Because I love you,” he replies quietly. “Why are you asking?” The rational part of Minho is telling him that Jinki is simply asking for the heck of it. The irrational part of Minho, the bigger part of his mind and heart, is prodding at him and saying Jinki is trying to break up with him. He can’t even look at me straight in the eye.

Jinki laughs bitterly. “I’m clumsy and awkward and I couldn’t even act normally at that SM dinner last year. Even talking to Junmyeon was a hassle, I feel like I wasn’t right for you.” Minho opens his mouth to disagree but Jinki keeps talking. “You’re much bigger and more bold. And I feel like I’ll never measure up to that.”

Minho looks for his face. Jinki isn’t crying, though he looks visibly frustrated. Minho rubs his tongue against the back of his front teeth. He stops walking and it takes Jinki a moment to notice he’s not moving anymore.

“What are you doing?”

Minho, instead of reassuring Jinki like a normal partner would when their significant other is stressed, crouches down so he’s a little bit shorter than Jinki. The older looks down in utter confusion.

“If I have to spend the rest of my life walking like this for you, I would do it in a heartbeat,” Minho whispers.

Jinki smiles and his eyes smile with him. He engulfs Minho in the biggest and tightest hug ever, mumbling nonsense that Minho doesn’t bother to listen to because all he can hear is his heart swelling with love.

“You don’t ever have to worry. I promise you’ll never have to question why we’re dating again.”

#shinee #shinee scenarios #onho #onho fic #send me a number between 1 and 248 and i'll write a fic based off of my spotify playlist

[tysonthebitcher]

The time i got arrested in Florida

*Names have been changed When you picture getting arrested on spring break, you picture things like getting in a fight, having sex in public, getting too drunk, or better – all three. But this wasn't anything like that; the time I got arrested sums up my life. When I was 17, I got arrested on Spring Break in Florida. I don't even bring this up when people talk about getting arrested. It’s by no means a "bad ass" story. But when I do tell people I was arrested, they automatically want to know why.  This isn’t your cool and normal Spring Break “who outdrank who” story. This is a random and "uncool" arrest story. I don't even like to tell people. Honestly, I’m not sure why I’m telling you now…but fuck it In high school, I went on Spring Break with my friend, John. Because I was 17, it was one of those “high school” Spring Breaks. We’ve all been on these “all-inclusive vacations.” You know, the trips where you just go with your friend’s family because you are too broke, too irresponsible, and just slightly too underage for your parents to let you go anywhere by yourself. So this is the best you are going to get.  But hey, don’t let the details get in the way of the facts, you get to tell people you went somewhere. This was going to be the first time I was on my own: It was a huge deal for me. My parents always thought I was too "irresponsible" to go anywhere or do anything, let alone wipe my own ass, by myself.  I had gotten caught in a few minor fuck ups, but I was right at the tipping point where I was starting to gain their trust back and things could go one of two ways: I could be the son they’ve always wanted, or I could go with John and be a 17 year old on Spring Break.  It took a lot of convincing but, the choice was obvious. My parents ended up letting me go.I was going to be with John’s family…what could go wrong? . Well...actually a lot can go wrong. ​ When Spring Break rolled around, John, his parents, and I drove down to Navarre Beach, Florida. I had never even heard of the fuckin’ place, but it was Florida. How horrible can it be? Wrong. It’s more than slightly horrible. It might as well be located in Satan’s asshole, and renamed to Dante’s 10th Circle of Hell. Like all naïve high schoolers, we were expecting rivers of beer, and mountains of topless college chicks. Wrong again. Upon arrival, John and I instantly realize there is a reason we had never heard of this place. It is one of those near death retirement communities, where the only women you will see are wearing a one-piece and a foam golf visor. It was one of those quiet, dust-farter destinations for the old people who came to Florida for long walks on the beach, and to watch the sunset. Throughout the week, we did boring touristy shit with John’s parents, like visit museums and sight-see. I'll admit it wasn't bad. Then again, at this point in my life, shopping at a Walmart in a different state would have been fun for me. Prior to entering this hellish wasteland in sunny Florida, John and I got some irresponsibly awesome 21 year old to buy us liquor before we left. We hid the vodka in a couple of water bottles and smuggled it down with us. Even though the place sucked, we still were excited. Our standards were still low; getting drunk in someone's basement was still considered "new and fun.” Drinking in Florida was more than good enough for us. Throughout the week, we made sure to conserve and ration the gut-wrenching warm vodka. When nights rolled around, we took shots and wandered aimlessly around the deserted hellscape, looking for any sign of human life. The whole week we hadn’t seen anyone that hadn’t been born when Richard Nixon was still in office, but on the last night we were there, slightly buzzed on warm water bottle vodka, we went wandering desperate to do anything. That’s when the warm vodka Gods spoke to us. When we got down to the pool, there was a small glimpse of hope. We saw some kids our age, so we approached them and started talking. Turns out they were 15 and from Indiana too, and in the same situation as John and me.  There was our glimpse of hope: two girls, and a douche. The brother, the douche, and sister looked inbred. But their friend, Jennifer, caught our eye with her big melons. John and I were so desperate, we looked past inbred Jack and Jill so we could hang with this girl and her big cannons.  There wasn't really anything for us to do so we started walking around, bitching about this shitty paradise we were in. ​ John and I were content; we were kinda drunk, and since we were in high school, just walking next to a hot female got our penises hard. While we were walking, Jack was telling us about how they were playing ding dong ditch earlier.  That stuff stopped being fun for me in 4th grade, so I instantly knew these fucking kids were even lamer than John and me. Feeling nice, or drunk, or bored, maybe all three, I chalked it up as they were probably just bored like us. We continued to walk, and Jack started to play ding dong ditch again.  I felt like I was babysitting this giant pecker.  I felt like I was too cool to be hanging out with these incestual people, and for me to think that is a huge red flag. John and I laughed and went along with it. Fuck it, I even joined in a couple times. Here we were, playing ding dong ditch in fuckin’ Florida. Other teenagers our age were on Spring Break having sex and lasting a whole two minutes. Or getting limp wristed hand jobs.  Either way, I was envious. Instead we were ding dong ditching condos of old fossils who probably couldn't even hear it. Although lame, John and I were glad to be doing something. But then shit got weird. Like one of those "you had to be there moments". These things happen for some strange reason, and when they do, and you really don't what the fuck you were thinking. A string of bad luck happens, and it's almost like it was meant to be. At this point, we are acting like a bunch deranged toddlers who escaped Chuck E Cheese, laughing and acting like reckless buffoons. The more we laughed and fucked around, the more of that reckless teenage "fuck it" chemical got pumped into our little bird brains.  We gave no fucks and just wanted to have fun. It was almost like we took a back seat in our bodies while some crazed maniacs were manning the control stations. We continued watching Jack ding dong ditch until we got to the garbage room where you throw trash down the chute. For some fuckin’ reason, Jack opened the door to look inside.  He flings the door open, and in the process, breaks the garbage room door. The metal rod snapped right off the door, and fell in front of his guilty feet. We look at each other…then like most teenagers, we just start laughing. I don't know if it is a phase or what, but fucking stuff up was just fun in high school. I don't fuckin’ get it now. But it was. It seemed like everyday something got fucked with. If something could be broken, it was.  Luckily ,I don't think it was just me; teenagers just like fucking with shit when they’re bored. Teenagers are just shitty selfish individuals who don’t even think about consequences. It's almost like that part of the brain isn’t developed yet. If you didn’t go through that "break shit" phase, this whole story will leave you even more shocked. When the door broke, and we all start laughing like a pack of wild hyenas, Jack got egged on even more. The difference between a teenager and an adult, is the adult stops, and the teenager keeps fuckin’ going to make his friends laugh. Then out of nowhere, Jack hurls this metal rod off the 14th floor and it hits the ground. We laugh at his Olympic javelin throw , and start going to the other floors to break other garbage room doors as we now know how much fun this teenager pastime is... The harmless game of ding dong ditch quickly turned in a category five shit storm. We were on a vandalism rampage. We broke three or four more doors and tore down some paper signs. Shortly, the storm was over.  We decided to go walk around outside and cool off. We walked around for an hour and headed back to our condo. While walking back we run into this 20-year-old dick bag with roid rage, wearing a pink polo. He stopped us to tell us that the cops are coming because that metal rod that came sailing off the 14th-floor balcony, almost hit someone.  Also, turns out that throwing anything off a balcony is considered a felony. Who would have thought? This butt fuck in the pink polo pointed to the condo behind him, and asked if we knew anything. John and I play dumber than my parents were for letting me go on this trip. Meanwhile, the other 3 dumb fucks go on to explain to this guy that we weren't doing it in the building he pointed at but we were in another one.  Like that fuckin mattered?! The guy then starts flipping out talking about how the cops thought he might have done it and if he gets arrested "hes going to crack our skulls." We then saw the cop cars parked in front of the condo. We decided we best just get the fuck away from the whole situation – a real ding, dong, ditch. We decide we probably should head to the beach and lay low until the cops left. We waited at the beach for a good half hour. Continuing on with the night like nothing happened; we walked to the lone gas station by our condo. As we got to the gas station, we saw three cop cars leaving the condo and driving away. They drove past the gas station. Suddenly, all three cruisers pull a U-turn and head back our way. The worst part is, if we would have waited at the beach one more minute, we would have been in the clear from all the shit that was about to rain down on us. They stopped us and told us that someone told them to look for a "red-haired kid" and someone with a blue hoodie on. The red-haired kid was John, and Jack was the hoodie wearing bastard.  We had figured the skull crusher ratted on us. It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize we were fuckin’ guilty. One by one, they talked to us to hear our stories. They knew they had caught us with our pants around our ankles. They hit us with all that cop bullshit, which if you aren't familiar with, you might as well just put the handcuffs on yourself. They said they knew the truth and were trying to break us. They actually didn't have any evidence, so if we would have just denied everything we could have walked away again. But we didn’t have a consistent story so we got fucked – and not in the envious limp wrist handjob type of way. After the brutal bloodbath,the cops told us to get in the car and we headed back to the condo, while they continued to mentally butt fuck us even more. We were grade A fucked, there was no getting out of this one. When we get to the condo there was a fuckin’ platoon of cops waiting. You would have thought we were clubbing puppies and not breaking door hinges. We get to the police circle jerk and notice there is a different group of kids in trouble too. We then found out they were skinny dipping when the cops came to investigate the garbage door massacre of the 14th floor. They saw them and arrested them. Lady Luck must have been sucking dick somewhere in a corner, because she wasn't with any of us that night. The cops continued questioning us and Jack started lying, saying I was the mastermind behind this circus show. It was every man for themselves at this point. I wasn't going to jail for that inbred fuck. I would have been home free again, but John "did the right thing" and told them I broke a door too. He really just wanted to save his own ass because he was going to be joining the Air Force – what a dick, but hey John, thanks for protecting our country. Jack and I got blamed for the doors, and Jill got charged because she ripped off the paper signs in the elevator.  John really should have been there with us, because he ripped some paper signs too, but I didn't want to ruin his chance at the Air force.  The only innocent one was Jennifer. I thought committing acts of vandalism was the best way into her pants, but she wasn't impressed. It was now 3 am, and the cop said she had to call my parents since I was a minor.  The cop put the call on speaker phone and called my house   A call from the cops is the last thing any parent fucking wants, let alone at 3 am during Spring Break. My dad picked up the phone half asleep and heard, "Hi Sir, this is Sergeant Kelly from the Navarre Beach Police Department. I am calling to inform you that your son is getting arrested."  There was a pause, where I could almost hear the brick my dad was shitting fall right out of his ass. They talked for a second, and then he did that white dad thing, where he thanked the officer and said he was glad I was at least safe. Glad I was safe? It probably would have been better if I was in a coma. The three of us on the freelance demolishing team, got corralled into the back of the cop car and made the 40-minute maiden voyage to my new home, jail. I was in and out of sleep most of the way there.  At one point, I woke up and the two cops were fuckin’ talking about Disney World. Here I am on the shittiest night of my life, and these guys were just calmly talking about visiting Disney World. Dicks. It wasn't really until I got to jail that it really hit me. There I was, in some random fuckin’ jail in buttfuckville, a thousand miles away from home. Everyone watches those cop shows and everyone tells themselves they are never going to jail. So, now being here, it felt surreal, and it was a total nightmare. They told me I was getting charged with "criminal mischief", and Jack with a felony for throwing the garbage room rod over the balcony. Jill got charged with "criminal mischief" for tearing paper signs off the wall…. I wish I could make this shit up. They took my belt and gave me some rubber slippers. I got processed and got my mug shot, and new Facebook profile picture taken, and thrown into a holding cell with Jack. If they hadn’t taken my belt, I most likely would have strangled him. Jack was acting like some big bad bad ass earlier. Now, he was laying on this concrete slab, bawling his eyes out and crying about how he wants his mommy. It's like I was in some stereotypical jail movie.   I was furious at that mosquito dick for getting me into all this, so I wasn't the most sympathetic to his river of tears drowning the cell. I told him to go cry on the ground so I could sleep on the concrete slab we called a bed. He continued his blubbering on the floor while I tried to get some sleep. When morning rolled around, John and his family came to pick me up. We were leaving that day, so the car was already packed up. We headed straight back from picking me up from Jail. You can only imagine how fuckin awkward the whole car ride was with John’s parents. Especially since John didn't get arrested, and this was really the first time I had met John's parents. They took me on vacation with them, and I get arrested. Apparently that’s frowned upon. The whole car ride I played back the whole situation and thought of all the things I could have done differently. We pulled into my driveway, and my dad was standing there.  He told me to go to my room, while he talked to John's dad. My dad came up later, and was surprisingly calm. Which made me more scared. I was wishing he would have yelled at me, so I could yell back. But instead, he took the other road. He was "disappointed" in me which made me feel even worse. To no surprise, I was grounded. This wasn’t my first rodeo, I knew the routine. I had just got ungrounded, and there I was grounded again. This time around, I was grounded for six months, and I had to pay $3,000  for a lawyer in Florida. Luckily, my lawyer was able to get the charges dropped. Worst part of the night? I didn't even get to see Jennifer's titties; all I got was an "I got arrested for breaking a garbage room door" story from Spring Break. At least Jack was a felon.                  

#lol #self deprecating humor #story #arrest #spring break