#( has had this planned since new years )

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

#selfie bee #me telling a coworker who I have been working with for 4 months and whose name I do not know about my toenails #i'm sorry Tobias (?? Paul ??) it was the only topic I could come up with after I already told you about the big bird I saw in 8th grade #FRIENDS how are you!! :) how has the new year been so far!! #did you have a lot of snow on christmas! #we did and it was really fun! I had a very bad cold so I just watched the snow from inside but that was good too c: #do you have any plans for the new year? #i always have lot and most of the time I do not do any of them but planning is fun #this year I REALLY want to watch all of Star Trek ヽ(´∇｀)ﾉ #I would also love to learn how to make a handstand #imagine if you could just make yourself upside down #but it is a far away dream because honestly I am not very good at being usual side up most of the time either #but I will try probably at least 2 times to learn it ( ᐛ ) #maybe I'll finally finish that website! #new years are good and fun #it's wild to think about how much daily life has changed since last year but I feel just the same :) #who knows what this year will bring! #I hope I don't hit a pheasant with my car #I almost hit a pheasant with my car last year and the pheasant made direct eye contact #I wonder how he is doing today #since that moment I think about pheasants a lot #I knew they were real but I had never seen one #just to know they are out there is a mystical feeling #right know it is raining so all the pheasants might be wet #get dry soon pheasants!! #I don't think I've ever seen a wet bird either #I don't know what do do with all these birds thoughts #also thank you for the person who asked about my skirt!! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅ #I've finished it and its really really bad #but I love it

[goldkirk]

I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!

#I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING #IT DOESN'T HAVE TO OVERRIDE ALL OTHER PROGRAMMING EVER AGAIN #HA #MY GOD THAT FEELS LIKE TWO DECADES OF RELIEF #and I found out yesterday. that this year. next winter. it IS two decades. exactly. this is the year. every day i am shown new reminders #that keep me going in my mission to relearn to fully and instinctually trust my self #ever since [redacted therapist] asked me point blank and my IMMEDIATE response was complete disbelief #a firm 'you think there's any universe where i'd feel like i could trust myself? after my nonstop history of failures and being horrible?' #tone “No!” of disbelief #and a horrible way-too-harsh laugh that bolted out before I could strangle it off and stop it. #that woman never coddled my feelings any time I spoke something alarming or bullshit and that was so helpful to me #and the tone she let exist in her voice when she responded to me with a very uncharacteristic “Oh Katie.” #was so. so much more agonizing for me. than her responding with an immediate logical slam-dunk of the truth about healthy behavior and stuf #anyway ramble over i'm so tired. i've done so much trauma work this week i am Drained emotionally #now i see what the past several months but especially especially #the baffling (to me) infuriating out-of-control-speedrun-somatic-processing + every-health-condition-flaring slog that December and January #were for me when I hadn't expected anything to be wrong #...and the extremely specific way this certain zone and particular incident kept coming up over and over and over and over and OVER was not #a bug. it was a feature. thank goodness i trust myself for little things now bc that's the only way i was able to get to this other side #and look back and suddenly realize that my subconscious and body knew what they needed and had a plan in progress the whole time. just like #i rationally say I trust them to have and do. #and that perhaps maybe. for real for real instead of just TELLING myself hard enough a lie that i trust my self and i trust my body and tha #they always know their own needs and timing if really slow down and listen to them f u l l y #anyway. yeah. bye haha i need to stop oversharing on the internet #trauma evolution #shh katie #personal #my god. i wished for this day more than i wished for anything else my whole life. all these many many many many years. what magic. #add to journal #abuse

[hella1975]

just think this time tomorrow ill be publicly indecent in a spoons somewhere. i am so strong

#ONE MORE EXAM. WE CAN DO THIS. I WILL BE DONE IN LITERALLY LESS THAN 24 HOURS NOW #AND THEN THE NEXT EXAM SEASON ISNT UNTIL MAY. COME ON GIRL #we have such a fun plan for tomorrow though bc the consensus has just been 'we need to get fucking mangled after this exam' #like i havent been out-out in WEEKS the closest i came was the end of december for a hometown house party of all things #i didnt even go out for nye. let's all take a moment and consider the implications for someone like me NOT GOING OUT ON NYE #so i am OVERDUE a good night out and then on top of that ive had exams be SO fr #and also this is the first year where my main friendship group (i.e not my housemates but my actual social circle) #are ALL econ students like there's about five of us and we all do econ and yeah two of them ive been mates with since first year #(the girl is my best mate at uni and is always who im on about if i talk about a 'girl on my course' and the lad is the one i lived with #in first year and have kind of got a thing with now?) BUT THE OTHERS ARE NEW ADDITIONS AND THAT'S SO FUN #so we're ALL gonna tip out of that exam and then me and her are gonna go back to mine to get ready bc am i fuck doing make-up #before that exam. the STATES i have shown up in these past few days i think the invigilators are worried about me #and then we're meeting the lads at the pub and starting there and THEN going spoons bc it's me and the girl's tradition #(calling her just 'the girl' is so funny. woman 🫵) after exams to buy each other mystery shots at spoons and we HAVE to drink them #and then one of the lads really wants to go to a karaoke bar for some reason?? so that might be in my future #AND THEN we're going clubbing. im so ready. take me home vodka shots. the end is near please please please #hella goes to uni

[axemetaphor]

rest assured that even when I'm not thinking about him I am still thinking about him

#jdate #my art #doodles #john dies at the end #elam au #everybody loves a mystery #weredave has a special place in my heart. fat werewolves my beloved #hes a good boy (no he is not) #i finished this au like. last year??? and he still lives rent free in my head. #btw since i have seen new people in the tags um: Everybody Loves A Mystery is an au fic i have on ao3 #it is basically 'what if: cheesy campy 80s movie ft. the jdate cast. and also its explicitly gay' #i had a follow up sci fi au planned for it but it never got off the ground. maybe ill revisit that someday...

[adelle-ein]

every year spotify wrapped just confuses the hell out of me. what is "pov: indie" (why not just indie????) what is "alt z." what the fuck is "hopebeat," is it like "indie poptimism." and where is provo

#i'm always surprised by tswift's ability to worm her way up there esp since i find midnights soooo blah #but she does have a lot of music and i've listened to a lot of it over the years so i guess it adds up in my liked playlist #also surprised by goose house bc like. they broke up like five fucking years ago lmao. how #johnny still uses the label but he's not putting anything new on spotify under the label... #i loved tessa violet's new album and played the shit out of it so her making it up there is not a shock #and revo and maisie peters remain unstoppable every year #top 1% maisie peters fan lol. what does that say about me (i like catchy breakup bops and she sings in my key?) #also griff clawing vertigo up there despite it only releasing in last couple months damn #i did love vertigo though. i did. and i always love fast car #plus i get national parks and jukebox the ghost mixed up allll the time so them being grouped together is funny #anyway yeah i don't know anything about artists genuinely #i just listen to what i like and do whatever #my extended relative has a family spotify plan they put me on as a present since they had a free slot... so it's free for me haha #txt

[babylon5]

im gonna be real with you,

#i found out i cant go to the concert ive been looking forward to since December #for a band that has meant everything to me since i was 13 #because the shuttle isnt accessible like it claimed to be and we have a 10 minute walk from its dropoff location #which i can do in a wheelchair but my mom cannot #and my able bodied cousin swore she'd take me she said absolutely she would take me!! and then she said oops nevermind Last Week. #my mom made new plans to take me and this was a FUCKTON of money lost because she bailed on us #and now my mother is crying because my cousin still hasnt paid back any of the money we lent her years ago #and now we've just lost more #and im on disability the only one here with an income btw lol what we spent was half my monthly paycheck!! #im tired of this world not being accessible to the disabled #im tired of people disappointing me on purpose #she didnt even bail to us directly she had her mother (my moms sister who have a deeply uncomfortable relationship) call my mom and inform- #her that her daughter was suddenly bailing because she doesnt like concerts ?!? after promising multiple times?? ok. #sorry this is an insane vent im just. IM TIRED. I am so tired. #it was supposed to be the first good and genuinely fun day for me in months.

[magnusbae]

I confess, I am... kinda excited ; w ;

#sometimes i feel like all i do is just work and survive #once in a while get myself a takeout #i work so much and what for #i never buy anything it's so depressing to think about #since bookdepository closed even my occasional 'buy a book i'd never read' shenanigans stopped #i was lately contemplating buying a new pc‚ and while that's undoubtedly a treat‚ it does fall within my very strict: #'a useful electronic' category of allowed expenses #like i was wondering between ps5 / pc but again those are planned for for years now‚ and hardly can be called 'indulgence' given how #one is for work and the other is years overdue since i was waiting for it to be less expensive.. #ah‚ i babble 🙈 #i did decided i will not share this irl though #i figure‚ i want it to be my private little positive treat #without the unnecessary opinions about how a 'book is not worth that much' #i mean i agree but did you see the book #it's the sexiest book i've ever seen in my life #i am not sure if i'll go ahead and get oathbringer in a few years #but wok-wor are literally the two books i love the most #my most beloved #my light in the dark #-coughs- ok ok. #yeah. #this is the most you heard me babble here in a while -laughs- #i've had a rather rough few weeks and has not been present the way i wanted to be-- those i have not yet answered to-- i will-- soon. #buns.txt

[legendary-alliance-stance]

sometimes i ALSO think about the fact that when the zhaitan disaster happened, the canthan imperial family apparently had. kurzick ambassadors held as political prisoners. keep in mind that was like. 100 years after the kurzicks were basically wiped out. which meant there were barely any kurzicks left at that point, and two of the few remaining ones (who were zu heltzers!!!) were held as political prisoners.

i feel. extremely Normal And Not Murderous about this fact. :)

#for the drowned kaineng plot nick and i are planning to do in our verse #we have the rev family find out this info (since it's in documents available in the ministry of archives in new kaineng) #and viktor fucking. Goes Nuclear over it. over the fact that 100 years after the empire massacred his people #they had the fucking gall to hold two of the few remaining zu heltzers fucking PRISONER. #he has. a bad time during this plot. #:') #vindicator ghostposting

[ikemenomegas]

1. What a Lovely Mess - Tash I might have feelings I can't fake Can't blame me for tryin' , thought this would end happily

2. Difference - TAMIW I can understand what they say with my perfect brain but somehow, I feel uncomfortable

3. ZITTI E BUONI - Måneskin If you want to stop me try again, Try and cut my head off because I'm out of my mind, just not like them

4. I Am The Only One - Ursine Vulpine ft. Annaca I am the only one

5. Mountain Top - Radwimps Life will never be that easy but Hey descendants Guess that's all I could say to you

6. Lost Game - Nulbarich I can't do anything anymore, I'm tired. At the end of the world I'll let go

7. ninelie - Aimer ft. Chelly Within a twisting image I can't communicate: Is an awakened resistance...

8. アルカレミア (Alkalemia) - mol-74 I know it's too late and I understand perfectly But if we still have time, I'll try again

9. Into An Unseen Tomorrow - AKG We who are presently here Yes, to an unseen tomorrow Let's call it hope

hidden tracks:

|| Ontario - Novo Amor All your love overgrown, all your body undersold, all above, all your waiting coming home

|| warm blood - flor* softly, never letting Never letting love go

Notes on the music:

3. The moment i realized the line translated to "you should have cut my head off", even though this group is about 10 years too early for high school satoru, i feel like this is something he and suguru would have listened to together

7. I chose ninelie for its MV and it's suitable imagery which is reminiscent of Unlimited Void's interior, however the song is very poetic and hard to translate, even it's title is a play on words

*i heard the lyrics for ages as "never learnt to [let] love go", which I think suits him much better, so please mishear the lyrics with me

a/n: I was not sure how to link the songs. I still believe in buying music if you can afford it because streaming is a capitalist joke, but the platforms that typically sell music are also part of the monopoly hellscape... (The playlist is in the world floating in my spotify account if you can find it, but I also added the music in order below the cut)

#gojo satoru #soundtrack #mixtape #I'm releasing it earlier than planned because music is a balm to grief #my younger years: side b: conditions of enlightenment #io.myy #mixtape event #i had fun making it though #it felt like being in high school again kicking up my heels and trying to find new songs to match an au #anyone else remember 8tracks before it got discontinued and then bought by a data mining firm lol #also this has been in my drafts since valentine's day it's what I spent literally the whole day doing ;) it was a good date

[andromedasummer]

Good morning, today im going to pirate 5-7 videogames made by small indie game devs who are heavily dependent on sales 😚✌️

in WHAT world is the sims 4 or fucking crusader kings 3 an INDIE GAME

#either you are bitching at me for pirating paradox's mainline games which have around $800-1000 dollars worth of dlc #or think pirating indie games is a good thing to do #i already BOUGHT AND OWN all of stellaris and over half its dlc and all paradoxes published indie games (surviving the apocalypse/empire of #sin when it came out etc) when humblebundle/epic games/another service i cant remember the name of right now #had them on sale/they were free on epic #paradox interactive published games yes #but they have 9 development studios under their belt (including paradox development) #which make their core games (europa/crusader kings/hearts of iron/victoria) which are fully fledged triple a games that sell for like $80 #on release and $40-$50 off #they have hundreds of dollars of dlc which makes experiencing the full game literally impossible for anyone who isnt #a youtuber or incredibly wealthy. like its not happening. #anyway literally my ethos is pirate from ea and pirate from paradox dev studio but dont pirate indie games #i didnt realize surviving the apocalypse was an indie dev i thought it was coreline and when i did i got it #on sale through the site i mentioned. its not a game launcher i cant remember it but i got jalopy from it a few years back #also sidenote i completely forgot i own empire of sin. like that game has not been in my mind since i watched a youtube video #of it back in 2020 when it dropped and thought it was cool and bought it #i also own cities and stellaris and an egregious amount of dlc for it please dont look at my steam account i spent money very wildly #as a teenager when they came out #i havent played skyline in a while and none of the stellaris dlc has been worth buying for a few years now unfortunately #i do plan on buying pillars of eternity when i can and the new vampire masquerade game when it comes out cos i fucking love isometric games #and vtm both video game and rpg #anyway this is now me rambling about video games my core ethos stands #buy from indie devs but pirate from EA and Paradox Dev #because they practise some of the most disgusting marketing practises in the video game industry and i despise #that its becoming the norm. a game should be able to be fully experienced for less than $100. to paywall it so severely with dlc #is money hungry bullfuckery

[boy-above]

i had like, nightmares all night last night (and i mean the Entire night) and usually i'm a lucid dreamer so i know i'm in a dream to some degree but last night for some reason i Didn't know and spent the whole night having a straight up bad time. it started with the usual stress dreams, being back in high school and whatnot, which are dreams i have pretty much every night. then it turned into dreams where i have rly devastating fights with ppl, Then it turned into me running for my life after the fights, and then being hunted by the police for some reason which involved even more running and hiding. the thing that finally tipped me off to it being a dream was that i was running in an alleyway and suddenly realized i couldn't see, my eyes were closed but i couldn't open them. cause my real body obvs has its eyes closed too. so i tried real hard and when i succeeded i immediately woke up. my brain had basically had enough and forced me to wake up. anyway tho i've been too scared to go back to sleep in case i have them again so im staying up like way longer than i should

#all of my dreams are unpleasant. like all of them #but since i know i'm in a dream they're bearable and they never have any effect on me when i wake up #but yeah me actually having a Good dream is Extremely rare #i can't remember the last time i had a good one #thing is i'm not the kinda lucid dreamer that has total control #on rare occasions i do but mostly it's me knowing i'm in a dream and not being able to wake up #i remember a dream i had once a couple years ago where i was walking in an alley #and a guy grabbed me from behind planning to abduct me #and i was screaming and fighting but then i suddenly became aware it was a dream #and then i just made him drop me and it transitioned quickly into a new dream #sometimes i can do stuff like that #but not last night though :I #marshal meows

[tvckerwash]

oh yeah totally unrelated but guess who accidentally fried the motherboard on their laptop by trying to replace the broken hinges?

me.

#i was very upset over losing my files for a day or 2 but I'm kind of over it now #if you're wondering how i accidentally fried my motherboard I'm not entirely sure but it was probably static electricity 😔 #anyway i bought a new one and I'm getting it delivered on monday #it was $1500 which ngl kinda hurt *but* the specs are better than my old one and it has more storage #i do think I'm going to buy an external storage thing and do weekly backups now since while stuff shouldve been going to my onedrive its- #been full for the last like 1.5 years so uhh yeah #anyway I'm more upset I'm going to have to re download my ~completely totally 100% legally purchased software~ #also i had a 2 year long free clip studio thing from my tablet that i never claimed until earlier this year and uhh yeah that was only good #for one device and ngl i like the program and that's what ive been using since i claimed it and i don't really want to purchase it bc of- #recent stuff like them planning on switching to a subscription based thing when v 2 comes out or smthn and also the ai art thing so #yeah I've got stuff to think about lol #mine #text

[acepalindrome]

Alternatives to Squishmallow

So as many of you have probably already heard, Jazwares, the company that produces Squishmallows, is donating to charities that support Israeli soldiers and the IDF. They’re also supporting Canary Mission, which has been doxxing people who speak out against Israel. BDS hasn’t called for a boycott against them, but I can’t in good faith spend my money on their products, and I would strongly encourage everyone who enjoys plushies to really think long and hard about if you want to give your money to a company that’s helping support genocide!

But the holidays are coming up, and lots of us enjoy plushies and were fans of Squishmallow, and were planning to give Squishmallows to friends and family this year.

Fortunately, there are a number of great plushie companies out there, and I want to promote some of my favorites in the hopes that folks will get their plushie fix from a source that doesn’t side with Israel. So without further ado:

Fluffnest

Fluffnest got their start on Kickstarter a few years ago, and I adore the round shapes of their PuffPal plushies! My favorite is Pete the Possum, which is probably the best possum plush I’ve ever seen. I’ve also got a beautiful moth from their Kickstarter and I’ve been wanting their bats for ages. They also recently had a Kickstarter for an Animal Crossing-esque video game featuring their plushie characters and it looks fantastic.

Squishables

I can’t get over the plague doctor plushies. They’re so perfect and cute, and they’ve released other variations of them called Alter Egos, like a ghostly version, an alien, or a really sweet cottagecore one! They’ve got a ton of variety, but what I like the most are the fantasy plushies. There’s a lich! There are dragons and demons! Cryptids! Biblically accurate angels! A lot of really fun stuff!

Also they do a lot of great charity work! Right now they’re doing an auction for the Food Bank of New York City.

AfternoonFika

AfternoonFika is a very small business of only three people, but their plushies are extremely cute. They tend to sell out fast, so I recommend following them on social media to stay on top of any restocks! They recently released a line of dinosaurs that are precious, and of course I love their iconic cactus cat and cinnamon bun bunny.

Jellycat

Jellycat has been around since 1999, so they’re the oldest of these companies. They’ve got great designs, a ton of variety, and a lot of their plushies are made to be cuddled on and not just displayed. All three of my tiny nephews sleep with a different stuffed dog from Jellycat. My mom has a sun and several succulents that she uses as decorations. There’s a little something for everyone who enjoys plushies!

If you have any other favorite companies I haven’t mentioned, feel free to add on! I’ve enjoyed Squishmallows for a while now and I’m sad to see their leadership coming out on the side that’s committing war crimes on a daily basis, but this is a good time to discover new favorite plushie companies! And remember, money speaks loudly. Even if BDS hasn’t called for a boycott of Jazwares, it sends a message when sales start dropping for companies that support genocide. It’s a small thing, but the little things we do can add up!

#squishmallow #squishable #fluffnest #afternoonfika #jellycat #gaza #palestine #long post

[arolesbianism]

I’ve been slowly working on making the eternal gales cast new refs and icons, here’s a dump of what I have done so far

#keese draws #eternal gales #oc art #oc #ocs #ignore the inconsistent quality in some of these there’s a lot of them and I only have had so much motivation to draw #I don’t plan on remaking busy and softie’s refs for the time being but everyone else is on the chopping block #I’m not gonna rush it tho this is just for my sake since my art style has changed so much recently #oh wait that’s right butter is also good I made them a new ref a while back I think #that just leaves 11 refs and like 12 or so icons. woo. #and that’s without counting side characters and god forbid I finally get around to designing the au antags #it’s been over five years and none of those bastards have ever gotten even my weak excuse for a reference rip #to be fair I have tried to design them several times it’s just annoying because of color palettes #I hate making color palettes. my most hated part of character design no competition #but yeah the staliens are the easy part it’s the human kids that are gonna make me wanna tear my hands off #it’s not physically hard to draw them but mentally it’s the worst agony #ok no fydd is physically hard to draw. I do not have the beak drawing experience I should have having drawn this kid for five years #like I figured out shoe and sock and they’re my Only snake characters #well ok it’s not like I have many beaked characters either but shhhh #bloom doesn’t rly Need a new ref as technically most of my art style changes don’t effect her design at all #but the anatomy in her current one bugs me so it’s getting remade anyways #I’ll probably do new sprinkles ref first then looser then alpha to finish off the staliens #and after that I should Really do aris first for the human cast she is in desperate need of a new ref #and after that I’ll do the snake triplets then mase and then whoever I feel like doing after that #those three are just in the most intense need after that it doesn’t matter much

[captainhongjoong]

i sincerely hope that all corporate douchebags who decide to understaff and underpay actual workers get driven directly off of the highest available bridge by their teslas or whatever

#night stock has two teams right. well so many people quit that they had to combine the teams #‘temporarily’ until they can get enough new people in #the plan was to hire 6-10 people. this plan has gone down to 2. only 1 person has actually been hired but still hasn’t started #2 people have quit since we’ve gone to one team so we’re worse off than when we started #and they decided to LOWER the starting pay for night stock ???? #and they still don’t want us to work too much overtime even though we have to to get anything done #and when we did this last year they didn’t care bc we were desperate #so i don’t even think they have any intention of getting us back to two teams #they’re just going to push us to the absolute limit and keep us there