#my mom made new plans to take me and this was a FUCKTON of money lost because she bailed on us

[babylon5]

im gonna be real with you,

#i found out i cant go to the concert ive been looking forward to since December #for a band that has meant everything to me since i was 13 #because the shuttle isnt accessible like it claimed to be and we have a 10 minute walk from its dropoff location #which i can do in a wheelchair but my mom cannot #and my able bodied cousin swore she'd take me she said absolutely she would take me!! and then she said oops nevermind Last Week. #my mom made new plans to take me and this was a FUCKTON of money lost because she bailed on us #and now my mother is crying because my cousin still hasnt paid back any of the money we lent her years ago #and now we've just lost more #and im on disability the only one here with an income btw lol what we spent was half my monthly paycheck!! #im tired of this world not being accessible to the disabled #im tired of people disappointing me on purpose #she didnt even bail to us directly she had her mother (my moms sister who have a deeply uncomfortable relationship) call my mom and inform- #her that her daughter was suddenly bailing because she doesnt like concerts ?!? after promising multiple times?? ok. #sorry this is an insane vent im just. IM TIRED. I am so tired. #it was supposed to be the first good and genuinely fun day for me in months.

[ivanabaqero]

Since I just returned from rehab, here is my.. idk, emotional journey on my chronic illness + mental health or wtf ever u wanna call this. This is the most personal thing I have ever posted but I need to get it out. 

Before you read, I guess I gotta tw this for suicidal thoughts and descriptions of my symptoms.

I don’t even know where to start. It feels like all of this happened in one week and at the same in a span of several years. But no idea, time just kept passing and more shit happened. 

Last summer was pretty cool. I worked hard and made a fuckton of money - not really considering the consequences of the fact that I overstepped the boundaries of my body every single day. Either way, I regret nothing it was pretty cool and another experience I am glad I could make. Well, but when I came back home, I started to notice a few things. Among some weird shit nobody wants to know about, I noticed a change of my eyesight. There was a cloud right on the vision on my left eye and it got blurry. At first, it started with minutes and then it passed. But I knew my body responded to exhaustion in an odd way so I let it slide. As doctors have instructed me, only when it lasts over 24 hours it’s an actual episode/flare and I should go to the ER -- to elaborate this further, I have been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2015 and have not had any bigger flares since, only the regular symptoms like fatigue, etc.

 I got treated with the regular medication; cortisone. This shit gave me some energy boost for a few days and then, things went back to somewhat normal. The blurry thing in my eye has changed into a weird ass thing called nystagmus. Basically, my eyeball was twitching. It was better than the blurry sight and my doctors told me that physical therapy was the only thing to help me with that, and up until some weeks ago this didn’t stop, at the moment it’s gotten way better though - a relief because that caused me mad headache and made reading really difficult.

Anyway, that was the smaller problem. A few months later, in December around Christmas, I have gotten really weak and have been constantly dizzy. As usual, I let it slide for some days. Up until that point when I couldn’t move from the bed or look at anything else but right up at the ceiling or I would get fucking dizzy. Back to the ER again, the same procedure began. Cortisone  resulted in a massive push of energy that lasted for some days, but after that, all the symptoms slowly returned. Not only that, but it started to get worse. I have been dragging and limping with my left foot since months but I still managed somehow to walk and get around. In January I had a major panic attack when I noticed that I couldn’t walk on my own to my doctors, which is merely an 8 minute walk away. I had to call my mom to bring me back home because I couldn’t go any step more. My doctor sent me to the ER but the next day, I decided that I was fine and being over dramatic and everything was perfectly fine. The whole thing kept getting worse, I could not walk anymore, I kept feeling dizzy all the time unless I was staring at only one spot: my laptop or phone. So that was what I did, ignore my symptoms. Adding to my chronic fatigue, dizziness, inability to walk and my eye problem, a sensitivity problem spread all over my body from the chest downwards. My hands hurt and my fingers cramped up and got stiff, I lost all feeling in my feet. I had an appointment at the neurologist thank god, or else, I would have let it gotten worse and kept telling myself that I am being over dramatic and nothing is actually wrong. Delusional? Maybe. I don’t understand myself there either.

The neurologist decided to keep me in hospital for a whole ass week, getting cortisone every day. I got in there with the ambulance in a wheelchair and left out of there walking again. Not perfectly, but I thought things were looking up. Of course, once the high dose of steroids begins to wear off and you slowly come down from it, you first catch sleep. Steroids this time have been given to me five days in high dose instead of three and in addition, I had to take pills that I had to reduce slowly over another two weeks. I did not sleep in those three weeks more than 3-4 hours per night and then I finally could. To make this more understandable; my brain was tired but my body was buzzing. I also had a tremor that has still not entirely left me as a wonderful side effect from the medication. 

That time stationary they finally put me back in a MRT and found 2 bigger new lesions. One of them in my cerebellum and the other in my spinal cord. Each of them causing me all those massive problems. Back at home I had physical therapy every day, but despite all of it, I had to rely on a wheelchair. I got my wheelchair in march and named him Otto because he is the best man ever. Next time in hospital, I was mentally and physically just fucking done and tried to just ignore how much my mental health was going downhill along with my body, the neurologist offered me stationary rehab at a very well known center where they treat several physical as well as mental illnesses. I said yes, and luckily got a place in July.

The initial plan was to stay there for four weeks, but the doctors suggested to extend to six. I did. And good that I did. I made slow progress. Very slow. To imagine, in twenty minutes at the first day I could barely walk 130m with four  breaks in between, with walking aid and what not - and my last day I made 640m in the same time with no breaks. I know this doesn’t sound like a lot but fuck -- I made it out of a fucking wheelchair. I am walking again. Not perfectly or any good, but my legs are used for their purpose again; to get me through this world. For someone who loves hiking and going for little walks alone, this was such a big deal to just not be able to anymore. 

The day I had the panic attack was the day I realized that in 2015 I made a promise to myself that if I ever have to rely on other people, I would end it. But I felt selfish for not wanting to end it. I felt selfish  for wanting to live and being a burden to people. I know, none of this is my fault and I am the first to give good advice, but am I good at handling my own shit? Absolutely not. 

With all the physical therapy I did for six weeks every day, I also had a psychologist that helped me understand myself better and deal with the trauma this experience brought me. I have to find another psychologist at home as well, because I didn’t feel the one I have helped me at all. I had to make a lot of promises to myself, such as accepting and asking for help and that it’s no shame in doing so. I feared losing my independence and I still do. But fuck, this experience was an eye opener in so many ways. I made new friends in rehab as well, which was one of the coolest things. And I got hit on by two attractive men - can you believe? I was in a wheelchair, dressed like absolute shit and not making any kind of deal of how I look! But yeah, my interest wasn’t really there to get involved in anything. I’ve got a lot of love to give but I need to give it to myself rather than pour it out on someone else.

I learned so many lessons, about my body and about my mind. My brain is an idiot and I have so many fears I was never even able to see until now. I thought optimism could beat everything and well... while it helps me a lot to get through every day life, every now and then I just need a slap in the face to look at things in another light. Not everything is fine if you tell yourself it is, no, you are not over reacting and you are allowed to feel sorry for yourself when life is dealing you a bad card. It doesn’t matter that other people have it worse -- it doesn’t mean your own shit is any less valid. And with that, I am going to wash my face and stop crying. I am still in a shock of reality state because I am  back at home now and everything is different. And I got to admit, I feel a little lonely. But I don’t want to reach out to my old friends at the moment with whom I felt like the “sick friend”. I want more friends in similar positions as me so I don’t have to feel bad for... well, feeling bad, and I don’t want to hear any more optimism monologues from healthy people who have absolutely no idea what it is like to have chronic pain, fatigue and overall; an illness. Whether it be mental or physical.

If you really read all of this, thank you. There was no need to, but I appreciate it. I honestly just needed to let it out. Because I haven’t done so properly since all of that started. 

#shush vanana #uhh #no tags i am lazy

[kihyunswrath]

This was not Wonho’s decision, and that’s why I’m fighting

At first I also believed Starship when they told everyone Wonho himself called the CEO’s and managers and whoever and made it clear he had decided to leave, but now that I know how Starship has been acting afterwards, I want you all to know that with 100% certainty, resigning was not what Wonho originally asked for. He might have been the one contacting his employers first, he might have been panicking, overreacting, crying and thinking that it’s over for him, but him wanting to resign in a matter of days? Nope. That’s not what happened. Starship kicked him out, silenced him, forced him out of his dorm room and probably took some of his money.

Now think about this. Wonho knows this comeback is something they have been planning for months on end. He has been there the whole time, he knows how comebacks work. He knows those are critical times for their success. He has personally witnessed the sweat, tears and injuries all the members have suffered for this specific comeback. He was also excited about it, because he knew it was going to be good. This comeback was strong, anticipated, well prepared, expensive. The music video and all the songs were fucking good. 

Would he leave the company in two, three days and leave his members alone to finish this comeback for him? I want you to imagine him sitting in a chair inside the Starship building office, or his dorm room sofa at night, reading the Instagram posts over and over and thinking about this. In these nearest hours after all those rumors were published, he probably had already pictured everything in his head. He’s been in this industry for years, he knows how things go. He knew how Starship handles things, much better than we do. He knew that if he left now, Starship would most likely not halt the comeback plans but instead force everyone to continue. He knew his closest friend Kihyun would have to learn his parts and that everyone in the group would be absolutely devastated, depressed and also angry. He could imagine in advance how every single member would react and how those reactions would differ from one another. He probably could imagine their facial expressions, their begging words, their rage, their cries, every little detail. He knew they wouldn’t be given any rest, but that instead they would be told to practice themselves to pure exhaustion, overstraining and death, and that it was all because of him. 

He knew exactly how much money was wasted on this comeback and that if he had to leave, there was no certainty that any of that money would come back to them. He knew that if he left, Monsta X’s entire future was at risk and that for certain, their peak had now been reached and that this was it. They would never reach quite the same heights they had reached so far. All the dreams about winning in MAMA’s, being invited to American television shows, published articles in Billboard magazines and whatnot, making deals with different record labels, breaking new records? Most likely gone.

So would he do it, just because of his dark past that had been there this whole fucking time? That didn’t mysteriously come up now, but was actually widely recognized, accepted and seen as a crucial part of Wonho’s storyline, his redemption arc. People loved him because he had won all the hardships in his past, because he had promised to change and grow up as a person, because we saw how he had fought hard to debut and pay back to his mom who he thought he had failed. People loved him because he wasn’t perfect but was capable of showing his gratitude, his respect, love and admiration toward the other members and us fans. 

Sure, weed is a serious business in South Korea, but so far, there has been no proof. We still don’t know whether Wonho has actually ever used drugs or whether this is just them blackmailing him. We don’t know if he has used drugs knowingly or accidentally. We don’t know if he had been smoking weed for months or years, for a couple of days or just fucking one time. We don’t know if there was peer pressure involved. I am now hearing people say not even the allegation about him spending time in a juvenile detention center / prison is necessarily true. We only know the fact that Wonho had already been in different police investigations (later on unknowingly) and got out with clear papers. We know he has not been involved in drugs during the entire time he has been a member of Monsta X, and that many of the other stupid things he did occurred when he was not even a trainee yet, and that no matter what, he had atoned for those things already. 

He also knew Jung Da Eun and Han Seo Hee who were reporting him were not concerned old friends or people with remarkable authority and insight into his life, they were just convicted criminals who had all the reasons to lie, distort facts and attempt to ruin his life. We know that because they had already spread literal lies about other idols, and because one of them has already provably been in a fucking prison and was clearly bitter towards any one of her (according to one source I found she’s a trans man and probably would use male pronouns but since gendered pronouns are not a thing in Korean and I don’t know enough of this topic I’m just using the pronouns all the English-speaking sources are using) old friends who are more successful than she is. 

Would he really leave suspiciously in a matter of two fucking days, proving and making people suspicious that he was guilty of all these things and still had uncovered secrets, crimes and things he had miserably been covering all this time, leave his fans wondering what ever even happened, leave his dorm that had become home to him, his band members who were closer to him than his own fucking mom probably was? Would he immediately abandon everything he had been fighting tooth and nail for, for YEARS on end, just because of claims that already belonged to the past, claims that could have been settled years ago, claims that were about his private life and didn’t have anything to do with his job as an idol? 

Again, mind you, he hasn’t beaten anyone up, he hasn’t murdered anyone, he hasn’t used hard drugs, he hasn’t been in a prison as an adult, he hasn’t raped, assaulted, harassed, stalked, doxxed, bullied or fought with anyone, nor are these two dipshits even claiming that. He has not done anything at all. Not now, not during his career, and it’s extremely hard to prove that he ever did.

So would he leave on his own volition, just for fun? I don’t know, I’ll let you do the math.

Now Starship, on the other hand. Starship HAS done things that prove they were the actual perpetrator. They rapidly terminated his contract, they removed him from the dorm almost violently fast (it was less than two full days after the announcement). They forced the other boys to focus on the comeback shows, keeping them busy. They have ignored every contact, negotiation and discussion attempt done by Monbebes. They silenced both Wonho and the other members so that we aren’t even seeing Monsta X sending Wonho goodbye messages, giving us encouragement (not that they could offer us any in this situation) or telling anyone how they feel about this issue. Wonho has not said absolutely anything since the official announcement, even though if this was his making and he wasn’t even planning to come back, he would have no reason to not approach us fans and tell that it will be ok, that he will figure things out, that he wants to solve these issues once and for all and that he sees our messages. Nothing. Radio silence.

Make of that what you will, but for fuck’s sake stop talking about this issue as if the rest of us fighting for this case, fighting for Wonho and fighting for Monsta X, are somehow selfish, overreacting, ungrateful or not respecting Wonho’s decisions.

I don’t care what y’all think, this is the group I have been paying for. I have given Monsta X more money I have ever given to any other group, and believe me I have been supporting at least 50 different groups in my lifetime. I have met them four times in real life. I have a fuckton of memories from them I hold dear. I have a fuckton of knowledge about this industry and how it works, and this is not only my hobby, but also my academic field, my strength. I know Starship can be brought down, I know exactly when and what they did wrong and I am ready to take action.

If you don’t want to join us changing the world you can fuck off and go eat your cereal and sandwich, watch Simpsons and go buy lipsticks from Amazon or whatever it is that you peeps do and leave this to us.

We’re not playing and we will not be stopped. We will go to the end of the world to find this smile and put it back to his face. 

Even if it means Starship will burn in a big ass bonfire. 

#wonho #monstax #monsta x #kpop #kihyun #shownu #jooheon #hyungwon #minhyuk #changkyun #mine #gif not mine #pic not mine

[prorevenge]

After months of putting up with my roommate from hell, I got the revenge of lifetime and screwed her over out of a fuckton of money and got her to pay rent and life has never been sweeter! (This is a long one)

This is a long one but very much worth the ride, so buckle up. (also, English isn't my native lang, sorry if there are any mistakes)

This story takes place a couple of years back. During college, I lived with several roommates, all of them were nice and we got along well, except for this one bitch, let's call her Karen. if Satan and Hitler had a child and that child had a child with Stalin and Cruella de Vil, that would be Karen for you, she is a loud-mouthed stupid, egocentric bitch who has the face that scare the shit out of a toilet. She would never clean up after herself, she would always leave her plates and things at the spot where she last used them. I have lost counts of how many times, I caught her stealing my clothes without asking and if you so much as touch her clothes she loses her shit on you, or her drinking our lactose-intolerant roommates almond milk and any time we confronted her for drinking it, she would shrug and say "I only had a sip, stop being so stingy." She plays her music loud at night, invites stranger without giving any heads up, a time or two she didnt pay rent even though her parents are FILTHY RICH and she is wearing gucci and prada shit, Karen also fucking lies about everything, even things that are not worth lying about. like if she woke up 7, and you ask her, she'll lie through her fucking teeth and say she rose with the sun rise because she is a natural. (ps, this is something i actually heard her say to her parents while she was skypeing them....so cringy, who the fuck says that? but i digress)

Months we have fucking put up with her, of course we tried to get other roommates but unfortunately when we all moved in everything, all documents and contracts were done in her name so kicking her out would require a lot of effort and most of us were busy with school and work and life happens. So we ignore it as much as we can and try to move on.

We are now all seniors and in our final semesters, meaning graduation was coming, AND Karen is planning a backpack trip across Europe with her friends as a graduation gift to herself, this is important so remember this.

One of our roommates and my closest friend, Sasha, has had a crush on a guy that lives down the hall. Any time the two of them are together, Sasha and the Guy keep giving each other googly eyes and blushing faces; it was sooo cute. Sasha is a verbal autistic person and has never dated anyone because she has a hard time with socializing and understanding social ques and subtlety, which lets face it, that is the core of dating, especially flirting but with a lot of encouragement from me and the final roommate, Lola we got her to ask him out. He said yes. She was so happy, you guys, she flew back into the apartment and did an hour of happy dance with her arms flailing about and a shit eatin grin on her face; needless to say we were all so happy. Karen caught wind of this and it just so happens at that time she was having relationship problems, I guess her bf finally realized he's dating human garbage. Not one to be outshined, Karen behind all of our backs went to the guy's place and spun lies about Sasha, saying she is a serial cheater and even made a fake account for Sasha's so called bf. the guy never called Sasha, and eventually weeks passed by he told us why but by then Sasha felt like the damage was done and lost interest in him.

I. WAS. FUCKING. FURIOUS.

This, this level of dickery and bloody pettiness is the straw that finally broke the camel's back and I vowed I wouldn't fucking leave until I served my slice of justice. Here's another character that you must know about, Prof C. His wife two years ago was in a horrible car accident and as a result is in a wheelchair, this is especially problematic because she was a stay home mom that took care of their two special needs kids and they have a toddler at home. Home life is a mess for him, he is running ragged between working and single-handedly is taking care of his family, the uni took pity and also feared the workload would see one of their best and most beloved teachers leave the school struck a deal with him to help him out. In all of his classes there will be quizzes and midterms, this doesnt change, but assignments you submit and he corrects at the end of the year, this is important cuz our uni has zero tolerance on proffs that dont constantly update the students course works so that students have the chance to improve their grades.

Karen, the lazy and stupid bitch she is, is somehow skating through his assignments, even though they require a shit tone of research and writing. I accidentally learned that one of her older friends told her that she only needs submit the paper on its due date and to only write the first 3 pages and use a paraphrase tool for the rest of the paper so the plagiarism software wont detect it and would think its original material and when the end of the year comes, submit a hard copy but with the first pages being her actual work and the rest being completely plagiarized, professional work. Prof C won't know cuz the likelihood a man as busy as him thoroughly checking the work of 120+ students is pretty low. I grinned. A plan was beginning to formulate in my head. Oh, sweet mother of Jesus, she is going down! All semester long I let her do this for all of the 7 papers, one of them which is a term paper that has 20% on it alone, all the while I spied and gathered all of her pass codes, social media, her student ID, everything.

The end of the year came and I compiled all of her assignments, both the original one with the paraphrasing tools she used to circumvent plagiarism and the one she finally handed them in, and I even made photos were there are side-to-side comparison of the assignments. This is a good start but not enough. So, One day chillin at the living room I open a conversation about relationships, Karen is two timing her new boyfriend and is sleeping with some other Person. so, I ask her questions like "don't you feel guilty for cheating?" and "You do realize this is wrong?" and I even paraphrase my words in a way that is vague but also clear, for example I would say "It's not fair, so many people work so hard everyday to be successful and you are here cheating and lying your way to success." Karen, narcissistic as fuck, would respond with snippets of I dont care and how she isnt cheating, she is only having fun and that everyone does it so why not her too. This is too good to be true, even her answers are vague, its like god put his hand on my shoulder, looked me right in the eyes and said, "burry this bitch". and Id be damned if I didnt. As you probably have guessed it by now, I was recording EVERYTHING. The recording plus the photos, and her assignments were more than enough evidence, I sent an anonymous email to the Professor, and i tell the girls so that they can prep for the shit storm thats coming. Three weeks later, results are out. she failed and LOST HER SHIT. She was screamin, crying, wailing, what a sight to see! you best believe, the girls and I were laughing. She tried to talk to the prof, but he was not having it. she cried and begged for a second chance but he said a hard no. So now she has two options: she goes ahead and doesn't graduate with us, and takes on a whole 'nother semester for one measly course or take summer course and cancel her trip to Europe, which mind you she spent a fuckton on, something like 13, 000$ and I know it could have been much cheaper but Princess Karen only wanted the best so yh. The next couple of weeks she spent sleepless nights because she was calling and cancelling all the reservations she made, tryin to get her money back BUT (again, GOD really was out for blood that day) because the cancellation was so close to some her trip most places refused to refund, or some charged her cancellation fees. She only managed to scrap 5.5 K back together, lossin 7.5 K. OUCH!

Its not over, having damning evidence I, with earned gusto, told her she was going to pay all of the bills till we move out, which was in two months, payback for all the times she was late on payment or defaulted and she would from now do her part of the house chores or else Im gonna send it all to the admin and faculty dean and she will fo sho be kicked out and all those uni years will have been for nothing. She hated it, she fucking threw tantrums and cussed me out but my god if she didnt do whats told. she cleaned her stuff, apologized to Sasha for what she did, I forced her to come clean to her BF (dont know the guy but the few times i met him he was super sweet to us and i felt bad for the guy), I watched her actually do the dishes for the first time in like years. IT was fucking amazing and I don't regret it one bit. In fact, anytime I feel sad now as an adult, i kick back my feet and reminiscine and a slow shit eatin grin draws itself upon my face.

tl;dr roommate was super mean, i found out she was cheating on her assignments and so i snitched on her and as a result she had to stay the summer and retake the class again or else she wouldn't graduate.

(source) story by (/u/let-the-write-one-in)

#prorevenge #by /u/let-the-write-one-in #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

[mvlcnes]

hey what’s good hunnies, i’m rollin up late but uh !!  my name’s maia, 25 y/o living it up it up in the ast part of the world and uh listen i don’t have discord bc i’m a literal grandma when it comes to keeping up with all the new means of being social lmao so if you would like to chat and/or plot?? just shoot me an im on here — i’m usually always mobile & i obviously love to talk a lot !  and i’m a heaux for dramatic / angst-fuelled plots .. just a little fyi … i’m excited !! so anyway !!!  onto the Idiot of the Hour you’re actually here to read about; my darling malone. i have a pinterest board for him  HERE  , a playlist for him  HERE  , his stats page set up  HERE  , and a connections page  HERE  which as you can see is bare as all hell so let’s plot !

i think i just saw  MALONE SINCLAIR  looking down at their phone in the middle of lecture hall . i wonder if they think that will help them get through their  BIOLOGY  major . i’m sure professor baker doesn’t mind , though , especially since  MAL  can be so  + BODACIOUS . then again ,  HE  can be a little  - EVASIVE , so maybe prof b will mind after all . what do you think is catching their attention all of a sudden ? surely it can’t be more pictures of  LUXURY CARS . hey , you know , sometimes they really remind me of  BOYISH CHARM AMPLIFIED BY A ROGUISH GRIN, SPARSELY SCARRED FINGERS CLAD IN GOLD RINGS, THE LINGERING SCENT OF CLIVE CHRISTIAN NO. 1 , but maybe that’s just me . oh well . i hope their  FOURTH  year is treating them well !

INSPIRATIONS

chad radwell ( scream queens ) 

chuck bass ( gossip girl )

reggie mantle ( riverdale / comics )

sebastian valmont ( cruel intentions )

BACKSTORY

okay so homeboy here has had it pretty easy his entire life. his dad works relentlessly as chief of neurosurgery in lower manhattan and his step-mom had worked as a prestigious legal practitioner; one of the most sought out lawyers in the state, and later, a socialite. like the infamous philosopher dr justin roberts once said: “six figures, i was only four”, malone was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. while most would assume he’s a straight up trust fund punk, though, he inherited his father’s impeccable work ethic to a fault.

as an only child and therefore sole heir to the sinclair estate, his parents have been on mal’s ass his entire life to give his absolute best in everything he does. health, school, sports, friendships, relationships, the whole shebang. his marks were always near the top of his class, he excelled at his two favourite sports; hockey during the winter, baseball during the summer. but it wasn’t until he hit his mid adolescent years, started developing an interest in girls ( whom he once thought were riddled with cooties ), that his focus faltered a wee bit and good lil o’malley boy started being a teenager.

embracing his lavish lifestyle and all the popularity / opportunities it handed him on a silver platter basically, mal was ho-ing himself around, partying it up with the elite crowd, earning himself a pretty risque rep among his peers. it wasn’t until he met his first actual serious girlfriend that he did his best to tone it tf down. and it worked, for awhile. but !! of course he fucked it all up and even though what’s done is done, he has big regrets. BIG regrets. mainly bc girl went absolutely wild and took a baseball bat to his ferrari yikes.

after graduating high school with exemplary marks, instead of taking the opportunity to potentially thrive in the big leagues of the sports world, malone opted to stick to his roots, following in his dad’s footsteps. he got accepted into powell as a pre-med student, studying all the biological sciences, and is finally finishing off his last year as a bonafide senior. his next big plan is to attend harvard to earn his medical degree and get the ball rollin.

FUN FACTS

pitcher for the university’s baseball team, his absolute favourite hobby

future doc in the works, he’s proudly maintaining a 4.0 gpa

distinguishing labels: the casanova, the playboy, the philanthropist

money is no object to him. will relentlessly spoil his current conquests

the second a girl tries to get serious, he ghosts & moves onto the next

fancy social events are his element but he also loves letting loose 

big partier. has gotten mixed up in cocaine & hard liquor many times

his family own several luxury cars, a yacht, have their own private jet

contributes to charitable causes 24/7 but he’s a lowkey narcissist oops 

WANTED CONNECTIONS

1) ok so uh he obviously needs his boy(s), 1 or 2 who he’s pretty close with. they travelled together, were each others’ wingmen at one time or another, always have each others’ backs through thick & thin. 

2) he need him some fwb / hook up type deals, whether they be a regular occurrence or a one time thing. if you’re bored with your man or need help getting back at an ex? that’s his specialty hit him up. 

3) while on that note, maybe a fella who’s shown interest in him & mal’s hit on them while drunk?? nothing too serious, just a lil harmless curiosity. maybe they kissed / made out on a dare or some shit at a wild frat party.

4) ex gfs!! i don’t see him having like… a fuckton of exes bc he tries to stay away from relationships but probably anywhere between 1-3?? whether they be on good terms, bad terms, lingering feelings, etc. i’m cool with whatever. 

5) maybe somebody he tutored?? bc while he gives off mad Big Dick energy and tends to think with that head lmao, mal is actually very intelligent. 

6) how about some enemies tho. like… idk man i’m SURE there are ppl he rubs the wrong way bc he’s kind of narcissistic lmao. or maybe they think he’s fake. or maybe there’s some sports rivalry or classic case of polar opposites or he broke ur bff’s heart?? the possibilities are endless.

#powellhqs.intro #drugs tw #pauly d vc: i love shit intros this time a yeAR!!!!!

[propsoseara-blog]

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https://firstgamehack.com/game_236370.html?utm_source=tumblr_com

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    Abstract: UPDATE 27 AVAILABLE - Interstellar Marines is an immersive tactical sci-fi First Person Simulator in the making, offering a unique blend of tactical gameplay, dynamic environments and non-scriptet AI. Play Singleplayer or Co-op/PvP on servers around the world Creator: Zero Point Software Critique: The immersion and atmosphere of this game makes my butthole tighter than a jar of pickles Notice best: 5k.

  Hey,Interstellar Marines ITO tester here,i would like to say that we have released a good amount of updates including but not limited to: more intelligent and deadly AI,a fuckton of bug fixes,added animations and made lots of improvments and performance optimisation. we are planning on adding over 25 new guns eventually but were a very small team working part time so development is very slow,the devs are still working to keep this game as alive as possible,we are over 300 on the server,but theres only 10 developers and they are all working part time(because lets face it,they cant live off of this at the moment. those of you who want the link to the discord server,here it is.

I bought a copy of early access and I really hope you find a publisher soon, this game has so much potential. What's up with the frame rate? It looks abysmal, it may just be the recording This is 20 fps territory. FINALLY this game has picked up some publicity its a good game :P candy cane gun power. I remember a time when games weren't released 'pre-alpha. alpha' or 'beta. they were just released totally finished with minimal bugs. WTF happened to those days? I'm tired of spending money on games which are half finished and take a ridiculous amount of time to complete.

This reminds me when me and my friends would jump on ghost recon advanced warfare 2. Looks good plays good and has a good modding community at least back then (2010) if you got a few bucks pick it up. Levelcap, maybe you can do a flashback, tell us what you think of that, or even a squad up. I love this game! Glad you finally talked about it :P. This is Unity engine? Holy shit, I'm significantly impressed. The game looks REALLY interesting, but I wish the view wasn't quite so cluttered up at times.

Good luck guys :>

I would definently get this when it comes out

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! My Talking Dog PRO - Virtual Pet

[strmgrl-blog]

my name’s saturn & this is my meme shop ! aaaaah no, really though bonjour angels ! for a lil introduction for myself let me just get this out of the way GIFJDKL uhhh i love aoa, day6 & sm artists ( like .. all of them Help ). a traumatized bitch who loves suffering so i project onto my muses to Cope ! GIAUDFJKL god gdfroijmkl sorry ummm i love star wars & video games ? catch me throwing an ow comp match & feeding in fortnite ! i love the moon, she’s the only thing that keeps me alive. i don’t have a mitochondria, i have lunar force. i have one (1) indoor cat who i birthed & LITERALLY 4 STRAY CATS who appeared from the mist. i run a ratchet vet service from my front porch & it’s free, i should be named human of the year honestly, truly. more on this mess of a muse, hyeon, who ( btw ) is literally my everything ? i’ve had her for quite a long time & lost motivation to write her so i’m changing some shit up to see how it goes & this is the product ! i hope you all enjoy reading this EXTREMELY long intro ( bc it will be very long im so sorry ) & befriend both myself as well as hyeon. & if you’re feelin’ a little extra, like this to plot ! i have a few ideas in mind but they’re all worth brainstorming over bc they’re SHIT. anyway, i love u all so much already ? genuinely a kind community i’m nut & WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU, here’s hyeon ~  ♥（ﾉ´∀`）

warning ! trigger warnings ahead possibly including ꞉ child prostitution, drug abuse, child abuse, mental abuse, sexual assault, depression, suicidal thoughts + other mental illness, murder, & probably a fuckton more. read with caution, please.

⌠ BACKGROUND ⌡

so starting with her parents, where all stories begin, let’s just preface by saying these were awful people. they ran in similar circles during school, a very bad one at that, & fell in love after sharing a joint. in their high daze they saw what their mind was conjuring but not the truth about one another. but for them, it had been enough. thus, their story began. it was a very rocky road but they managed to stay together regardless. the bond they had created blossomed as they partook in illegal activities such as petty theft, vandalism, & it slowly evolved into larger problems. 

after hyeon’s mother, named jung eunbi, stole from her parents for the last time she was kicked out into the street with her boyfriend ( who had also been kicked out ) with no place to go. both dropped out of high school as it wasn’t their “””scene””” & took to the dirty streets of busan trying to turn tricks. they’d do anything they could to get some money to feed their addictions. in the midst of their scrambling for what they deemed as important, they never thought to buy protection. so one fateful night after a good steal, they made love on a dingy couch high as a kite & eunbi got pregnant.

she hid the pregnancy for as long as she could from her boyfriend, he only noticed when there was a rather apparent bump under her baggy clothing. with the weight of the realization they might have to force themselves to become a real family, the couple got hitched & attempted to find real jobs. in some miracle, they managed to find a house to live in & eventually “raise” their child in. 

hyeon was born on the 8th of june, on a dark morning with clouds hanging ove the sky & rain starting to pour. she was premature as her mother did drugs during the pregnancy ( which was really no shocker ) & almost was pronounced a still born before they heard the tiny being crying & gasping for air. her parents had assumed that once she was born, they’d feel that parental love that everyone claimed to have but it never came. they stayed in the hospital a total of two days & hardly let their newborn get the help she needed before they hauled ass out of there. 

the first 3 years of hyeon’s life were better than expected, her parents at least tried to take care of her but once she was able to do everything on her own they left her be to pursue their own happiness. honestly think of matilda but a lot more severe ok

she would often get locked in a closet while there were parties held & her parents were too strung out to remember their child. she could spend days in there before she was released. this was only the beginning.

at 8 years old, her father lost his job ( her mother stayed at home ) due to a random drug test & he of course failed. this triggered her parents to panic as they no longer could supply themselves with their so desired highs. so after a night of scheming, they came up with a plan so sinister not even the devil himself would agree.

random men & women began to arrive to their dingy home as hyeon would be ushered into quiet rooms with them where they would pay to do whatever they pleased with the young girl. this went on for 2 years before hyeon was pulled into the principals office at school with questions about where those bruises on her came from. her mom was picked up for possession & this prompted the police to raid their home to find many illegal substances throughout the place as well as evidence of abuse towards the child.

soon after her parents were placed in prison, hyeon was shipped off to seoul to the biggest orphanage in the country. there she stayed for 4 more years. the time there was quiet, nobody asked her about where she came from & she never spoke about it. in truth, she never knew how to as she was a blank mind essentially. 

luckily when she was 15, after a long & strenuous search, hyeon’s grandparents found her & adopted her into their home in daegu. they were absolutely appalled at this shell of a girl, but could only blame her trauma on their own children. it was here that hyeon was loved for the first time in her life ( & possibly the only time ) & taught how to feel something besids fear. she was still horribly inept at processing emotions or showing them.

two years spent with them & one night as hyeon & her grandfather were sat at the family piano, playing & singing a song as her grandmother recorded them in secret. that same video was sent to an entertainment company without hyeon’s knowledge but was thoroughly surprised & equally as excited when she was recruited. only a measly year in training with her 2 group members before they debuted & they were suddenly the biggest gg in sk.

the group debuted under the name of PTL, hyeon’s stagename was now Tink as she accompanied her members in the ride of a lifetime. they were extremely popular with their girl crush yet enticing vocals with miss tink as the main vocalist & maknae. even so successful as to have a world tour ! the group had their differences, hyeon being the medium for them as the other girls were rather opposing forces. often she was put in the middle of their arguing only to run away when conflict came up. during this time she would write & compose her own songs, bringing a heavy soul feeling to the group with her powerhouse vocals.

with all this being said ( which was a LOT ), there is still more. a year after debut while the group was climbing in popularity, hyeon began receiving texts from an unknown number. she soon found out that the people behind the mask were her parents, somehow having managed to be released from prison & found their new mission in life was to harass their daughter. on an october night, after an argument went down within the dorms between hyeon’s two members, the youngest set out by herself to meet those who hurt her for dinner. 

as expected, it went horribly. at this point in her life, she was extremely impressionable, & witnessed how her eonnie handled things which was with a liquor bottle in hand. so, like an idiot, she went to a club by herself to get fucked up. while sitting at the bar, a random man drugged her drink & took hyeon home with him. the night was a blur but when the young woman woke up she felt familiar bruises & a blanket of rage took over. the man was still passed out next to her.

so as she slipped out of his bed & found the nearest blunt object, hyeon managed to bash his skull in. she blacked out after that only to come to with clean hands & far away from the corpse. this was the reactant to lead her to go blind in rage & come to with blood on her hands. soon enough, she took a liking to the feeling & became two people within one while somehow managing to remain anonymous as a killer ran rampant.

earlier this year, after too much shit going on within the group, ptl disbanded & all went their own ways. which hyeon appreciated. the people she had once called her sisters had become like strangers & only cared about themselves, didn’t have the time to look after their maknae. 

to say that her already pre - existing depression & anxiety sky rocketed would be an understatement. she left music for a while, deciding to stream on twitch & youtube as a gamer. it made her happy for a short time but has been planning on returning to music with hints of a solo debut soon that has fans excited.

edit: i forgot to put this in here originally IGJFDKL but she moved to jeju after her group disbanded for a new start. plus, her address somehow got leaked so she uprooted all her shit & left for the secluded island.

⌠ OTHER TIDBITS ⌡

stands at 5′7″, 168 pounds ( considered plus size tbh. one day i’ll put picture references LMAO ), with curly, thick hair & freckles from hell. 

can speak english, japanese, chinese, & italian. has a slight british accent from who she learned english from was from the UK.

has a rottweiler puppy named chewie, a hedgehog named leia, & two cats named opal & hazel. 

voice claim is a mixture of lee haeri, kim taeyeon, park sunyoung, & ailee.

her favorite color is blue, loves the rain, & will 100% be caught standing in the middle of a storm.

is a practicing wiccan ! very much so considers herself a witch.

her favorite drink is strawberry milk, & will eat anything that has strawberries !

#islandintro #THIS IS LITERALLY SO FUCKINGGGG LONGGGOHj #i ghosted over smth rly important but ... I CAN touch on it more later i supposed BUT YEAH IM SORRY IF THIS IS FKNNNN AWFUGLLL #this is a mess n im sorryt plsssjoidkl love me ! #like dis if u'd like to plot uwu

[dredshirtroberts]

Sexism at Work pt 2: The Dad-ening

As I’ve gone over previously, I work for my father in his very small company that serves several hundred customers at any given time. I’m the main point of contact for most of these customers to voice their questions, comments, concerns and complaints to. I’m generally the first line of defense in tech support as well.

I also am the main person dealing with updating the website, writing blog posts, running our social media, creating How-To videos, updating our FAQ, responding to forum posts, writing the newsletter, and doing marketing mailings in the fall.

The other two people who work in this company are my aforementioned father and his business partner - both of whom own the company in part. I’ve become a non-official business partner who owns 15% of the company in the past year. My mother is contracted to do the books.

We’re a small business is what i’m getting at here.

I've been a part of this company since 09. That’s 8 years of doing every single job I listed above, to some degree or extent over that whole period of time. Mind, between all of those projects (which I am expected to keep up with at all times), I am answering phone calls and emails from customers.

Just me.

Just me doing allllll of that.

For 8 years.

Wanna know what my benefits are? I get to work from home, and if I come into the office I have free parking.

That’s it.

Which, you know, generally would mean I get paid handsomely, right? 

Haha nope.

Admittedly, I am salaried, which works out to over minimum wage. But not by much. 

Do you know how much finagling it takes to make house payments, household bills, feed 2 people, and take care of 2 cats on $20,000 a year before taxes?

I’m LUCKY I’ve been able to keep my head afloat until boyfriend got back into the workforce. He was able to help a little with his savings and the money he had stashed away for his retirement. But I was the main provider for a year on 2x Mr. Darcy’s yearly income.

We’re still living paycheck to paycheck. We’re still working on getting our feet back under us.

Anyway. 

So my dad, right? The one who essentially shoved me into this position and made it so I can’t get out gracefully? The one who is in charge of my paycheck and regularly uses that fact to guilt me into doing things with the family? The one who regularly criticizes my work and my work ethic because he doesn’t want to show favoritism (even though his business partner thinks the sun shines out my goddamn ass with how amazing I am - and I am very amazing)? The one who would be completely and utterly lost if I left despite all he tells me about how much I should be fired because I had a bad week at work? And if I worked anywhere else I’d have been dropped years ago?

That one?

Yeah, so we’re bringing up our profits from last month today at our “weekly” meeting and we made enough to cover our expenses. I joke that I’m very glad we did that, since as their only employee I know that I’m one of those expenses - as I ought to be because that’s how businesses work. And he goes “You should have your mom [who does the books for the company as I think I mentioned previously] bring up what you really cost us. Having employees is expensive!”

And I just look at him.

Because no shit?

You’re getting the DEAL OF A LIFETIME by exploiting your daughter’s work ethic and inability to tell you no thanks to a lifetime of emotional abuse and neglect at you and your wife’s hands. I’m the least expensive employee you will ever have.

You don’t give me health insurance. You don’t pay for workers insurance. You don’t pay for a 401k, or another retirement plan. You don’t have stock options. You don’t have SHIT to offer me, other than a guaranteed job and frankly I’m pretty sure I could find one of those out in the real world because of where I live and my 8-year strong resume of amazing skills I’ve picked up working for you.

I cost you NOTHING compared to a real employee. And if you and your company can’t afford to keep an employee, maybe you should look at your business plan and make sure you can do that before you hire someone after me. Because a business that can’t afford its work force isn’t a business. It’s a failure and deserves to drop into the ground.

I love our customers. I love what our service can do in our industry. I even love the damn program itself.

I have reached the end of my rope for the last goddamn time.

He pulls that kind of bullshit, bullying, guilt-trip nonsense on me again - ESPECIALLY in front of his business partner? I’m GONE.

I could make SO MUCH MORE MONEY going through a temp agency. or working a call center (something that is super prevalent around here). Shit I could make better money in RETAIL. Because I’m a great worker, who cares a fuckton about the customer. 

And it is NOT OKAY for a boss to treat you like you’re expendable when everything else says you are absolutely not.

This is not a career. This is a dead end job that will tank when they over engineer their fucking product to the ground. 

I am so upset right now. I’ve also had a migraine for like the past 7 hours that’s only just started going away thanks to boyfriend’s extreme ibuprofen. I should just find a new job and leave.

I’m chickenshit and I wont, but I should.

[pisati]

I don’t remember too much about my birthday last year, besides having to work and mom taking me out to the cat cafe and the brewery. but despite having a pandemic birthday it was actually pretty nice.

I finally got 3 days off in a row. I did tell my friend Cassidy that I’d help them take their stuff to the UPS store to ship it back to CA, but I honestly thought it would only take part of the day. I didn’t mind grabbing lunch and also staying for dinner, but I didn’t really want to have to be driving all over that part of the DC area all day. which was what happened. I didn’t end up getting home til 1am, and while I DID tell them I could help, it kind of felt like a wasted day. wasn’t really an off-day. BUT Cassidy did cover all my food, got me a lovely birthday cake, and gave me some coloring book-style postcards and a little stuffed brain cell. plus a literal fuckton of crafting supplies they didn’t feel like hauling back to CA. I asked how much they’d want for it; they did say I could just have it but seriously that haul has got to be worth at least $150. there were 6 bottles of resin/hardener and those ALONE have got to be worth $80 at a minimum. they said they’d just ask $40 and like... shit, sure. that’s a goddamn steal.

they also sold me their 4x4 ikea kallax shelf; I remember helping them put it together when they first moved to MD. we took it apart and I had my brother come over sunday to help me carry the pieces upstairs. then put it together entirely by myself, which... I probably shouldn’t have done? I made it work, but that shit is Heavy and also very difficult to put together on your own. even the manual says you should have two people. every muscle in my upper body is incredibly sore now, and I managed to bruise both arms in multiple places (not even doing anything seriously injurious, I’m just an overripe banana). but in making room for it in my living room I rearranged the couches, relocated all my yarn to the new shelf from my old craft shelves (and it took up 12/16 of the cubes 🙃), re-sorted and organized the remaining craft shelves, took the two 1x3 shelves up to the rats’ room (and now they’re being used as towel storage), and actually cleaned up my living room area. my dining room table is sewing-machine-free for the first time since march. I just moved it to the craft shelves, and now I actually have the room there for the machine to just sit. the accessories have their own shelf bin. 

mom wanted to do dinner sunday night instead of today, and I guess that was okay. but it didn’t leave me much down time since I spent all day cleaning and organizing. but it was nice anyway. I got home and mom had blown up some balloons, and she had RHCP playing all evening. I’d requested homemade mac & cheese rather than noodles & co this year, and she found a pretty good recipe. she also made a cinnamon sugar doughnut bundt cake, which was good, though maybe a little dry. but served with ice cream it was better. mom told me she had another piece today and it was more moist today somehow.

mom and my brother had ordered me a bunch of things off my crafting wishlist on amazon, and those had come in during the week. my brother ordered the animal keychain molds, a mica powder dye set, black/white alcohol inks, and a silicone mold kit. mom got me a coaster mold set, another resin/hardener set, and a bunch of the sandpaper with the different grits that I really needed. I was kind of surprised she’d ordered me more things, since she already got me the huge rat cage. and she even told me today I should be getting another coaster set tomorrow, this one with 4 of the same size; the other one she ordered had 4 or 5 round molds but they were all different sizes. I can still make coasters with them, but the biggest one is small-tray sized and the smallest one is like... coin-sized, honestly. it’s tiny. and I can only make one at a time, so a set of 4 of the same size would take 4 days at a bare minimum; longer than that possibly if I were doing layers that needed to cure first. so with a set of 4 I can whip up a whole set at once. 

mom’s boyfriend got me things too, which was super nice of him. they saved it for the dinner night, so I got to open it there. he got me a geode coaster mold, the set of animal butt shaker molds I put on my wishlist kind of as a joke, but also I thought they were silly and adorable. I’m so excited to make those little shakers. also got a set of 3 trinket box molds with molds for the lids, and a little bag of snake charms I’d added so I could use the charms for mold-making; I could make my own little snake charm earrings!

so yesterday was a long day. and then I slept like garbage and woke up early this morning, but I at least got a few things done before Charlotte came over. we planned on a lazy day but since I’d wanted to make yesterday my craft day and never got around to it, I wanted to do that today. Charlotte I guess didn’t have the same idea, but she’d brought her laptop so she could play this video game she and her brother and husband and so on had played together. we ordered five guys for lunch, which is always nice. she brought me homemade cinnamon sugar cupcakes, and gave me a hand mixer, a few bath bombs, and some face masks as a birthday gift. she was right, I really do need my own hand mixer, ha. 

I finally got to work on my silicone molds, and it was super messy. I didn’t realize how much worse it would be than resin. but I tried my best to mix it well. I’d accidentally bought a $25 kit at michael’s a few weeks ago, because I’d picked it up from a clearance section and wanted to price check but forgot and forgot it was in my basket when I checked out; didn’t even realize I’d bought it until I was already back in my car looking into the bag. oops. but I ended up using the whole thing. and I had planned to make a crochet hook mold, so I was excited to try it. mom gave me an old tennis ball can that I cut up, and I used hot glue to seal it and position the hooks. I felt SO bad that it used up almost all of the silicone kit my brother got me; that shit is NOT cheap. and I was terrified I didn’t stir it well enough or mix the parts well enough because that would’ve been such a waste. but I demolded it after the few hours’ cure time and it came out beautifully. I cut slits in it with an xacto knife, so that way I can at least coax the hooks out more easily when I go to demold. it did seem like kind of a waste of a lot of the silicone, since I didn’t use up all the space, but hopefully I can sell enough crochet hook sets that I can maybe buy myself more. I’m nervous about those pours, because they’re not going to be easy, but I’m also excited bc I have a gorgeous, usable mold, and I got a ton of resin for [almost] free that I can experiment with. 

after that I finally got around to some of the resin I’ve been meaning to do. my friend in PA requested some resin earrings; she’s bought so many masks off my etsy for herself and family that after this last order I offered her a resin or crochet thing at no charge. so I’ve got to do some moon earrings; too bad I don’t have more than one moon mold. also my brother babysat some kids the last few weeks of summer and he’d taken them out to gather wildflowers for me to put into resin, so I offered to make them little resin keychains. I got little transparent letter stickers, and I’m super glad they worked as well as they did; the transparent stickers don’t show their borders in the resin so it almost looks like the letters are printed in it. I decided to make letter keychains with each of their initials, and I spelled their names with stickers in the letters. for the girl’s keychain, I added some of the flowers. I’m not sure what to put in the boys’ keychains quite yet. I’m told they’re harry potter fans, so maybe I’ll do some kind of transparent blue with gold glitter or maybe star glitter or something. I also had leftover colored resin from the moon mold so I added them to the J for my mom. nothing like the scramble for appropriately-sized molds when you’ve got extra resin. I also made another set of cat earrings, and I’ll see how those end up. I tried a drop of gold alcohol ink, and hopefully the white helped it sink. otherwise I’ve just got some weird looking cat earrings. 

(update, they turned out weird. gold doesn’t sink :/)

---

I wasn’t quite ready to go back to work today. I had a pretty good weekend, all said. don’t get me wrong, I enjoy what I do. but I feel like I need another gap year. I just want to stop existing for a while. stop having to go out and be around other people. having to talk to other people, all day almost every day. I’m tired. my brain is tired. my last gap year didn’t help with that, so I’m not sure how much good another one would do me. but I just... I need a damn break. 

I have another therapy appointment tomorrow. it may end up being my last one for a while. I already can’t really afford the copay, and I’m switching insurance to one she doesn’t take. my credit card bill this month is incredibly painful. not going to be too upset at not having to spend almost $100 a week to just ramble to someone I barely know. she’s pointed out a few things to me that I didn’t really notice I do, which is nice. but is it worth $400 a month? not right now. not when I’m about to lose my insurance and have to pay for my own. my rent is already half my pay, and now I’m going take a pay cut of somewhere around $100 a month for fucking health insurance. I hate this. I fucking hate the concept of health insurance. insurance in and of itself isn’t bad; property insurance is helpful. but having to pay money for other people to pay money for your healthcare? and you still have to hit a deductible somewhere in the thousands before insurance will even start covering your shit. and even then they can decline coverage or only cover parts of your expenses. literally what is the point

 back to worrying I guess. 

I’ve started a kind of ridiculous undertaking at work as a side project, now that I’m done scanning all the files that were up front. I printed out the list of all the clients in our system that had physical folders, and I’m going through the scanned records and making sure the active ones have new client paperwork and the hours disclosure attached. the head receptionist asked me to start with the ones my former coworker had scanned in, and there are a lot of disclosures missing. some are missing both. I don’t know if he just didn’t scan them or if they didn’t have them at all or what. but I’ve been putting alerts in charts so people know that they need to give the forms to the clients when they come in. we had one client get kind of mad that he’s been coming to us for 10-some years and didn’t want to fill out the paperwork again, even after we clarified it was for our records and for legal reasons. but whatever. 

I don’t know how many physical folders there were, but the list is very long. the folders go from 0 to somewhere in the 8000s I believe, but thankfully a lot are missing. missing as in possibly inactive, so there might only actually be 1000-2000 or so. but I’m going through every single one of them. I made myself a little system with highlighter colors: yellow means the client is active and they need something filled out (and I mark on the sheet what they need), purple means they’ve been seen within 3 years but more than 1 year ago, and they need to fill out something, pink mens inactive, and orange is kind of a catch-all for things like active clients who have recently moved (not sure whether to mark those as inactive). so far, since starting this a week or so ago, I’ve managed to get through 4 pages and a little bit on a 5th. many, many more to go.

the head vet wants to turn the back room into a little employee lounge area of some sort, but we want to get rid of those shelves first too. which means I have 2 big shelves of folders left before I’m officially done. thankfully the files in the back should *mostly* be clients that are inactive, but I still have to go through all of them to make sure. I know I’ve gone back there a number of times to find a folder for an active client because I wasn’t sure whose phone number was whose and I knew it would be in the record. 

---

I’ve been writing this post over the last two nights but I keep falling asleep while I’m writing. I did a lot more resin stuff last night, so I ended up going to bed pretty late. I wanted to finish up those keychains but I’m bad at gauging how much resin I’ll need for things so I ended up with a lot of random extra pours. I’m excited about a few of them; I poured a few into the new molds I made so I’m looking forward to seeing how those turn out. 

not really sure where I was going with this. not really sure where I’m going in general. I’m just going. trying to keep up with work, trying to remember doctor appointments. trying to keep the rats happy and as healthy as I can get them, trying not to let the cat get on my nerves too much. trying to do crafts. trying to remember to talk to people, but I don’t know. I feel lonely sometimes but since I’ve been working so much I kind of just want to be alone. I don’t have the energy for conversations a lot of the time. 

---

hm. maybe another post for therapy thoughts. I was asked to think about a few things.

#fdhsjkh

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

5/12/17, 11:11pm - gettin cucked up

me and a particular group of my melee friends have been using the word cuck a lot still and I never really thought about where it came from. Like 4chan probably repopularized the use of the word because I saw that cuckold porn became a really big trend on there, but the way we use it isn’t like cuckoldry exactly, it’s more like getting fucked over, or stood up, or most specifically teased with a promise of a good time and then having someone back out at the last minute.

More on that later I guess. This week’s been so hectic. Wtf it’s only been like 5 days it feels like it’s been weeks already. I’ve restrategized my Get Your Shit Together (4.0) list, and the big three things are 1. pass the RPSGT, 2. get moved out of my apartment, 3. get some surgeries. 

Tony actually wrote my letter for real, so I put in my application to take the test this week! My cpr aed certification is outdated so I got an online one and I’m not allowed, so I have to do a course this weekend and fix that, but otherwise I’m all set. Gotta study hard, I’m pretty fucking pumped to get a raise. Glad I’m not dying for the money rn though, the $500 to take the test and get a new cpr cert would have me stresssssed the fuck out, dude.  No progress on getting someone to take my room just yet, my room’s a fucking mess, I need to do laundry, I’m kinda putting all this shit off for now tbh. We’ll wait until I’ve taken the exam I’ve got vacation this week anyway. And I talked to my dad, who gave me his blessing so to speak to get a vasectomy. I fudged a number that I told him, said that it’s 90% reversible (most numbers say 95% or greater w/in 3 years, about 50% at 10), but with the potential for in vitro fertilization even if the reversal fails I’m sure that’s about right. He told me that my mom had told him that she wasn’t trying to get pregnant for a year or so and then ‘was practically pregnant the next day.’ coupled with how mom was talking about being pregnant at their wedding I can see that lol. He basically told me that he loves all of us a lot, but yeah I would’ve definitely done that because it’s worth it to not have that kind of surprise when you can’t make money for a kid. I definitely can’t make money for a kid right now lol that would kill me. So I’ve already called the doc to get a referral and I’m gonna get a vasectomy. Gotta figure out how much my septum surgery will be too, but that’ll be a lot more -_- Me and dad were catching up for a bit and I helped him get in touch with Dr. Bruce to fix a hernia so he’s gonna be giving me some more money so that’ll help with that too though. Plus I’ll FINALLY be making sleep tech money. I’m so fucking pumped.

Plus basically the past 3 days I’ve Actually just been working. 3 patients a night for the first time this week was stressful as fuck. I mean not exactly. Just time consuming and pretty frustrating. As jimmy said “if you were still trying to get through Zelda you probably would be dying right now.” Made it through fine and that should sweeten up my paycheck just a smidgen.

Still haven’t eaten french fries, but definitely gave up on cigs. Practically like two days later. I was out drinking for Josh’s birthday and smoked a bunch. That shit was so fucking cash omg. I got blackout drunk for the first time in forevvver. Was hanging out with Jimmy, Josh, Ian, Jack, ran around with one of josh’s friends trying to pick up chicks at a bar after smashing beers into our head and shotgunning them. I have a video lol I’ll try to upload it once I have internet. Was trying to ‘flirt with all the ASA bitties’ but got too drunk and ended up boxing someone in Josh’s friend’s basement (w/ boxing gloves) lmfao. Reminded me of middle school boxing Cory Winters and having our little fight club ring lol. Drunk snapped a bunch of people, ian drove me home, it was a great fucking night. Oh and at Josh’s friend’s I ran into one of my asian friends who I could not remember for the life of me. I wasn’t sure if he was a league friend or one of brosciouss friends or a smash friend I was just so lost, but played it off really well (as always) and did jager shots with him. Fuck. Ing. Lit. First time I felt so happy and natural to be drinking in forever, too. Even got to see brett3 for a bit. Nice to be back in chapel hill. Especially when they’re good old drinking buddies like Jack. It’s so strange that I don’t really talk to anybody else from chapel hill, but then again it really isn’t. 

The date with Brianna went pretty meh. We met up and joked around a bunch and thrift shopped and I bought a whole fuckton of new pants to ease the process of spring cleaning and two new sweatshirts so I’m not wearing fuzzy shit all the time now that it’s getting warmer. Ate at Ms. Winner’s and it was some delicious ass cheap fried chicken, might be my new go to in gboro now. But she like barely wanted to kiss me at the end of the date idk what’s up with her, I’ve kinda bailed out since she’s all preoccupied with her family anyway.

Instead ive gone back to what I call my “harem strats” You see, by chatting up as many girls as possible (right now juggling 4-5) I divert my attention and stay aloof enough that I don’t seem like a crazy fuck. Instead I’m just an asshole who’s two timing girls, but yknow fuck you stop judging me.  This girl hit me up on snapchat saying I looked cute in my story and that we should smoke sometime. With the snapchat name Smokeahontas I could’ve sworn it was Kat, so I just go along with the convo. But then I see kat has a diff username and I was like wtfff who is this lol. I didn’t ask her though, just played along and eventually remembered when she asked for my insta that it was this girl I matched with on tinder months ago that I never followed up with (like most of them), probably because I got lazy lol.  Had a sort of date with Jamie, we got some food because she was getting off work, we smoked a bit, but she was like texting the whole time and fuckin bailed out after just an episode of south park to ‘go to the beach with her roommate.’ I still have been talking to her a bunch, but Idk what the fuck is up with that, kinda whack. Super cucked by how that went. Especially because when I walked her out to her car I didn’t even get a kiss goodnight it was this weird lasting embrace like she pressed her cheek into mine to make sure I didn’t try to kiss her I guess, but still held me tight for a really long time, I was like rubbing her lower back hoping she’d like loosen up and kiss me but hooooly shit it all felt super fucking awkward. I’m hoping she’s just really conservative about dudes since she’s such a cutie, but idk. it makes me actually not give a fuck about her. I have a date tomorrow night with the other textiles girl idr if I wrote about her, but she’s cute, going to ncsu. “allergic to smoke” lol I told her I quit. (I mean I had that day before but I lied and said I did two weeks ago hahah goddamn I’m kind of a twat maybe.) Also actually got cucked by smokeahontas. It was like a situation that was too good to be true though, to be fair. She didn’t have anything to do yesterday night and wanted to hang out; when I told her I was stuck at work and said she should just smoke with me in the morning she said she actually wanted to and would stay up all night to meet up with me when I got off. Ofc she fell asleep, and when she woke up she said she wanted to go back to bed, so I flippantly said “well you could always sleep over here.” and surprisingly enough she said she was actually game for that, so our smoke and horror movie date turned into a naptime date. But an hour passed while I was eating breakfast and in the shower so I was like ‘wtf is up’ and she said she got sick and threw up. Figured I was super cucked once more by another flaker, kind of a bummed out, but not as bummed as after the dates with Jaime and Bri both went so poorly lol. Just happily told her we can try again another time, and now she’s saying she wants to do the same plan for tomorrow morning. 

So There. Is. The potential for me to get laid twice tomorrow. Pretty exciting. I haven’t told anyone that I remade plans with her though. RIGHT after I told some friends about how the nap date got planned out she said she was sick. I FUCKING swear that every time I brag about one of my dates I have lined up it falls the fuck through the floor. So I’m gonna try to never do it again. 

Then there’s this other theatre major girl I started talking to yesterday. Talked about horoscopes and transitioned from talking feminism to her (woke as fuck teens smh) into asking if she ate ass (jokingly) into asking if she wanted to hang. Turns out she’s actually a really cool super geeky chick and I’m really excited to spend time with her since she wants to show me jurassic park for the first time and learn how to play melee. Kinda weird that she’s only 18 still though O.o oh you, tyler. 

SO yeah. That’s the sitch with that. Went from supppper fucking bummed a couple days ago about my dating situation into thinking that I’m the shit again. I think I want to establish that “i’m the best” mentality once again. Because I really am. I’m fucking amazing lmao. 

Ultimately though, I’m still getting cucked left and right and I have little to no faith that I’ll find anybody I actually care about ever again but we’ll see yknow. I think that’s the strats to how I fell in love last time anyway.

hmmm. what else is there... Work in burlington is still super shitty, my commute went from an hour to like an hour and forty minutes today bc people in NC can’t drive through a little bit of fucking drizzling. 

Idk that’s about all I’ve got. Next week’s lake week so gonna have to work again in a few days after some date shenanigans and hopefully I’ve got some more good stories and shit. 

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4/18/17 6:36am - changes

God DAYUM it’s fucking gorgeous outside right now. I could get ussssed to this.

So obviously I didn’t find time to catch up while I was at Dar’s this weekend. Ended up grinding another like 15 hours of BOTW and got a fuckton of sleep and ate a quart of ice cream. it was spectacular.

General update - Dieting had a relapse this weekend for easter, but I hit another benchmark when I weighed in on Friday. 139.8! Finallllly cracked that mark. Gained back up to 144.8 this weekend but that’s just food weight. I’m fucking pumped! Only gotta get down to like 135 and then I can gain back up to where I am now and it’ll be fucking perfect. I look beautiful. My hair lightened up a little at the beach, too, pretty gorgeous lol. Smoking a lot these past two weeks though. Gotta take better care of my teeth to make up for all the candy too. 

So I guess I’ll start with work. Tony dropped a bomb on me two weeks ago that they were moving forward with the Burlington location and that I would be moving there, possibly permanently. Much to my chagrin if I want to drive to work from home I now have an hour long commute, and no pay raise, AND my work days are switching to Thursday, Friday, Saturday. It blows. Went into a little mini depression that my social life was ending, had to cancel a bunch of weekend plans coming up, and fretting about all the gas money I’m gonna be spending and shit. It sucks. I’m at least trying to get compensated for my gas, hopefully for my commute to work, too. That would be fucking sweet. And working alone will be p cool too, hopefully the office will be isolated enough from the patients that I can get a cube setup in there and grind out some solo practice.

But tbh I’ve been kinda taking it easy from melee the past three weeks. This thursday I didn’t even go to the tournament because I slept through it lmao. The week before was sweet though, played dubz with Slip and pocketed $25 for winning the tournament. Money in the bank, pimpin ain’t easy. Then Saturday I played a little mini tourney at Chi’s and me and Jimmy tied for first in a teams round robin. Got kinda bodied in singles though, Had a decently close set with Chi that I flubbed. But really I’ve been focusing on BOTW it’s no skin off my back. Kinda happy to have the break for my hands.

Anyway so I’m fretting about this job change when Ashleigh hits me up out of nowhere. She had been catching up on my blog (shouts out) and wanted to hang out. So friday we went on like a friend date kinda deal, I met her new guy, we got these delicious tacos, played some Magic, and hit up Boxcar. Wish the gun for House of the Dead 2 hadn’t been broken, would’ve loved to kick the shit out of that game again. And then like a deus ex machina, we’re chatting about work and shit, I mention this job change, and she says that I’m welcome to crash on her pullout couch any time I have work. Fucking amazing, at least the commute will only be 30 mins instead of 60. And I’ll get to hang out in gboro more, too. Excited for a change in scenery.

This date I had for that night (herpes girl) flaked, which was perfect because I forgot it was board game night, and I stayed up late hanging out w/ Broscious and Jonny and Irene and Joe. Pretty excellent. Wish broscious had gotten high with me but so it goes lmaooo. one day.

So I went on a date with the herpes girl saturday after the chi tournament instead. (probably played worse since I was trying to dip to see her too lmaoo) Probably shouldn’t keep calling her herpes girl but it really doesn’t matter. She was supppper nice, and we got along kinda well, but we had like Noooothing in common. Outdoorsy type vs me. I was getting this weird vibe from her fairy sleeve tattoo, like it was some kind of message. Looked just like something Darlin would have in her house, but reminded me of my mom lol. Idk so she was nice and all, and her body was rockin, but she had this butterface of an old lady I swear it was so weird lol. We smoked and watched some rick and morty and played some botw but she couldn’t do anything with a controller to save her life. Said she liked the show a ton and wanted ot keep binging it, but it kept bothering me that she was like laughing at the wrong times and shit. Like she didn’t get the jokes or something but knew it was humorous hahaha. So we like made out a little that night and I got to second base and nothing more like we had agreed, and it’s probably all for the best tbh.

Anyway it made me realize that I’m done dating for a bit. I’m sick of trying to meet people and catch them up with my nerdy shit. I don’t want to binge rick and morty again, I want to jump into shouting in jokes at each other lol. I don’t have the patience for it anymore. So I’m just taking a break. Especially while I have the chance to get my finances straight (they’re doing excellent) and I don’t have free time on the weekends anymore now anyway. Rip.

Then last sunday I got to chill out with Dan, was pretty great. 

Worked an extra shift Friday to help Jaime and then headed out to Dar and Pa’s. They made me a ton of food, they took me out to sushi, I got to lounge around til monday, it was wonderful. 

So now I’m almost done with BOTW finally. Almost all the armor is upgraded, I’ve got all the shrines, done enough of the side quests to be satisfied enough I think. Might try to do a few more horse things but yeah I’m like getting ready to finish this weekend. In perfect to train up for my last thursday maylay. On 4/20 no less, it’s gonna be sweet. Gonna team with either Ian or Jimmy, too, I’m pumped. 

Jimmy and I talk like all the time about BOTW and dating and shit. I’ve been feeling a little lonely lately, thinking bullshit like I’ve been kinda lacking a best friend, and moping that I really lost that hard when Christina and Manu had to start doing baby stuff, Oliver moved back to Charlotte, and Kailey exited stage left. I guess Jimmy is probably my best friend right now? Maybe just the gang as a collective, but I don’t really Talk to them about stuff with them I just spend the most time with them.  But what hanging out with Ashleigh did was alleviate all of that. I feel great, my friends care a fuckton about me and I care a fuckton about them. She said she wanted to do good on promising to buy me drinks and make me feel pretty and goddamn did she ever lol. Nice that things weren’t awkward at all now that we’re just friends, really excited to spend more time with her.

Ok whew I feel like I just shotgunned all my thoughts hopefully I got everything. Working in burlington should be weird, dunno when I’ll update next but you’ll hear from me when ya hear from me.

Oh and I talked to Tessa on Easter w/ dar on facetime. She’s doing this crazy ass coconut diet, hasn’t eaten real food in like a month. Made me feel like a fucking baby that whenever I smoked the past week and a half I started feeling horrified like I was starving to death. I’d start feeling my wrist and be like “OMG IS IT SUPPOSED to BE THIS BONY??” and just get in my head until I went out and ate something lmao.

But I feel really content rn. Super satisfied even though things are taking a not-too-sharp right turn. Super satisfied with myself even though I’m not chasing tail. Reeeally excited to finally finish my game and start training to kick some ass at melee again. Gotta get some more combo vid material before the season’s over, I’ve got some dubz shit that’s gonna go in that’s pretty fucking fire. 

Anyway, peace. Gonna enjoy this second weekend with a snap and some BOTW.