#「☆┊╰ WINKY FACE ! / visuals . 」

[brainrotdotorg]

what's your favourite silly moment for each of the skills?

for volition its def in the 'you're compromised' scene where he 'doesn't add flair' but also has/uses the most nicknames for the other skills

reaction speed has this little comment in the same scene where if your logic is low enough they go 'oh? was someone supposed to say something? well it's just me, swooshing around in here! swoosh :D'

encyclopedia takes the fucking cake with the trivia quiz tho. love his dumbass so much

oh man tall task for me to try and compile EVERY skills personal fave moment but i love them so much i am willing to try. under the cut

logic: god this dude is literally so dry he was the hardest to find good quotes for. i still love him though. the boring stiff. " If you drink this, then you will die. That's a fact. And that's why we're going to save you from yourself and store this as a SELLABLE item. Go sell it at the pawnshop for a profit." after you buy the pure alcohol is pretty funny.

encyclopedia: the innocence quiz. the entire thing. also contact mike.

rhetoric: what could possibly top "say one of these fascist or communist things or fuck off"

drama: lie, sire! for no reason! also any time he really leans into the old-timey speak its so good to me. AND during the payphone prank calls he can suggest that you stir up shit for no reason. love him

conceptualization: lots of truly beautiful lines from our fella concept here but i do also love. when they get silly with it. " It can still be an otherwordly sex-mystery *in your head*. With a dark twist, even." and "Imbecilic. Yes, should the future ever come, it will look deeply imbecilic. Like this guy." and "O WALLFATHER!"

visual calculus: "I'm just a representation of your mental faculties... piecing together any available information." love when they just outright say it lmao. also "Consuming food is mechanical process for him. He doesn't enjoy it, just goes through the motions and moves on." kind of a sad detail about rene that i didnt know about thank you VC

volition: "I don't do flair."

inland empire: "No-no, don't sing the happy song, it's stupid. Sing the sad song, it's profound."

empathy: paging doctor love... " Life doesn't have a *BACK* button. Now get off your ass and speak the truth about Sylvie the Whore." "He's enjoying your little failure. He finds it amusing, he's revelling in the sweaty rage on your face."

EDC: the time he brings up literally right after kim says "officers dont fucking dump old police shit in the river" officers dumping police shit in the river

authority: "The lieutenant is a narcomaniac!" also "Mewling wimp! Pathetic..." and "Show him the ham still got it!"

suggestion: at one point he gets exasperated of harry trying the expression over and over. also "Logic and reason won't work on this old bat. Better go for shameless emotional manipulation. What's a grandmother's deepest vulnerability?"

endurance: a wink shaped growl sounds from your ass. what the fuck is going on in your large intestine harry. ALSO HOLY SHIT I DIDNT KNOW THE TUTORIAL AGENT HAS A UNIQUE LINE IN THE FASCISM THOUGHT CONVERSATION?? forget about föminism im losing my mind.

pain threshold: "Sounds like you were in some real *fundamental* pain there, muscle-man." MUSCLE-MAN!!!! on a sadder note: "Her beauty was like the glowing coil on a hot stove, and yet you felt *blessed* to touch it..." GIRL....... dont do this to me.....

physical instrument: eyes on the ball, dinky winky! also if your logic isnt high enough then HE will be the one to say "Son, you will NOT kill yourself with this. Not today. So we're going to store this as a SELLABLE item. Go sell it at the pawnshop for a profit." about the pure alcohol

electro-chemistry: HE CALLS PI A "sinewy idiot" ohhh my god. delightful. also every time he goes "yum" like when thinking about cigarettes

shivers: MR EVRART IS HELPING HIM FIND HIS GUN. Also the classic "got a brother in the cut, where the wood at?"

half light: oh my god she has so many killer lines. "They ain't got the cojones." she also has lots of nicknames for people. "cum-stain", "fucking ballerina", "they're all dorks." also "Utter the POWER WORDS!" and "Even when you're trying to scare someone, the most important thing is: how does it look on your resume?" AND "*YAWWWWN!* Can you imagine anything duller than a bunch of binoclards yanking each others' knobs?" half light i love you

hand/eye: "My favourite [thing] is the gun." LMAO

perception: she gets upset at one point when rhetoric claims you can smell communism and shes like. um. no. thats not possible. you cant smell communism. i cant find it but it actually happens a few times i think

reaction speed: I NEVER HEARD THE SWOOSH ONE. oh my god that fucking rules. swoosh. my next favorite is when youre talking to sylvie and she turn you down really fast reaction speed is like wow shes fast, what else is she good at? Baseball? Ring-a-bell Quiz Shows? Catching keys in the air? Petting an angry cat? okay queen

savoir faire: slaps one of this dude's arms. this guy can fit sooooo much hustle grindset in him. "You can't hang 'vapour-porn' in the foyer of your chalet." AND HE KEEPS CALLING HIMSELF SAVVY!!!!!!!!! "Hey, money-mouth. Eendracht. The impeccable hustler-provider of the seventh generation. It's showtime with Savvy!" "But Savvy's got your back. Savvy's going to book you a charter flight with eighty birds of prey on board, to a land where the streets are paved with krugerrands and fixed-income securities."

interfacing: i do love his "Told you that you *needed* those chaincutters. Everything is connected. Everything has a purpose." thats less silly and more hopeful in a way i really really like. he's got many delightful lines, and i think is the one that is most clued into the video game-y aspects (dialogue trees, etc) probably the saddest instance of this we see is with the dolores dei dream. "Don't let her. Don't let her go there. You should re-do the topics. Go over *everything*, the things you didn't say before too. Make it go on and on..." wailing. screaming and crying. on a brighter note! when you lose your pen he goes "Nooooo! That was my favourite thing, of all the things you have."

composure: calling reaction speed a "shifty asshole" is pretty fucking funny ngl.

#disco elysium

[opinions-about-tiaras]

Hoo boy. So the first look trailer for Wicked is out and... well, I'm concerned. Thoughts below the cut.

Let me add my voice to what everyone else is saying first and get that out of the way; it looks awful. Visually, I mean. "CGI sludge" is an apt description. I get that they're trying to evoke the feeling of the Judy Garland Wizard of Oz but yikes, it looks terrible. Just a riot of color that evokes nothing and feels flat. The wonder and majesty of Oz this ain't. Even the costumes look cheap and ill-considered.

And look, I get it. This is a movie adaptation, of a stage adaptation, of a book that's basically Wizard of Oz AU fanfiction. They're going to do their own think. But Wicked (The Musical) already sanded off so many of the rough edges of Wicked (The Book) and it looks like this thing is gonna continue in that vein.

But at a certain point when you pour enough water into your wine, you're just drinking water, and it really feels like we've passed that point.

This is an enormously big-budget musical that seems almost ashamed its a musical; you wouldn't know this is musical theater from the trailer, at any rate. That's not a great sign. Neither is the fact that they appear to be doing some sort of "Elphaba's magical power is driven by her being overly emotional and out of control," which is a questionable choice to make when you've cast a black woman in the role.

Actually, let's talk about casting.

Your leads are WAY TOO FUCKING OLD. I know that doesn't make a difference in a stage production. This is not a stage production. Ariana Grande is 30; Cynthia Erivo is thirty-seven. These people are not college freshmen, and expecting us to believe they are is insulting.

Yes, I'm also aware there's a long tradition of expecting us to believe people in their mid-twenties are high school students. There are limits and this pushes past them. The costuming and makeup departments are working hard, but the amount of makeup they're having to cake on Grande and Erivo in order to make them look like fresh-faced youngsters is extremely off-putting. We're not sitting a hundred feet away in a theater, the camera is doing close-ups a lot. Black Elphaba is an excellent choice, but you could have found a much, much younger actress for it.

They also made some... weird choices for diversification of the cast. Not in a "it is historically inaccurate for these people not to be white" kind of a way, but in a "you're sort of undercutting your own themes" kind of a way.

Wicked (The Book) is very explicitly about white supremacy, imperialism, and class. So is every other book in the Wicked Years, when they aren't also about gender fuckery. The musical cuts a lot of that away, but its still there. The Gillikinese (Glinda the Goods specific ethnic group in the context of Oz) are an explicit expression of this. They're economically, culturally, industrially, and socially dominant, and virulently racist against all of Oz's other ethnic groups (the Munchkins, the Animals, the Quadlings, the "Winkies") for whom they have a charming variety of racial slurs and race legislation towards.

Casting a white British person as Fiyero Tigelaar is absurd in this context. Fiyero's whole deal is that he's from a racially disfavored group and is treated pretty shitty because of it! Yes, I am AWARE the role on-state was originated by a white dude. This ain't the play.

Similarly, casting someone who isn't so white they practically glow in the dark as Madame Morrible is kind of a misstep. Madame Morrible is the enforcer of the Wizard's race policy.

And so I have to question... what the hell are they padding this out with?

The stage play is two hours and 45 minutes long. That would translate to the screen fairly handily, on the long side but about where you'd expect a big epic to be these days.

Only they're doing this as TWO movies, like Dune did. Is doing.

As this is likely to be marketed as a family film (I'm expecting a PG rating) they might just be making two ninety-minute films so that parents aren't off-put by the idea of their kids squirming in chairs for three hours. But given that the director and writers have spoken repeatedly about how this story was just "too big" to be contained in a single film, and that they're planning to add a whole bunch of stuff, that seems unlikely. I have a hard time seeing both movies clock in at a runtime of under four hours.

So what are you going to do here?

I had been hoping at first that they were going to re-add in a bunch of the themes and plot points from the novel. And maybe they are? But I sense that they're being timid here. That they're gonna pull their punches and make this a very straightforward, very paint-by-numbers story about a generically evil tyrant with the race and class stuff shoved way, way, way into the background. For that matter I expect them to dial the queerness back as well, which would be awful because my god is Wicked queer.

I dunno. This just seems like a lot of red flags.

#wicked #wicked musical

[cookieswithay]

"The awesome, fabulous Spider-shell! (Mikey AU)

🧡🕷🕸🧡🕷🕸🧡🕷🕸🧡🕷

Hey-yo! Congratulations to the winners of the poll! This little paragraph is a Spiderman intro for Mikey. If anyone wishes to draw any visuals or run with this idea, go right ahead! But I'd appreciate a tag or some credit. And if anyone wants to see another brother, TELL ME!

🧡🕷🕸🧡🕷🕸🧡🕷🕸🧡🕷🕸🧡🕷🕸

• Okay, guys. Let's do this one more time. (I'm getting peckish.)

• My name is Michaelangelo Hamato.

• But, you can call me, Mikey.

• I was nearly eaten by a mutant spider.

• And for the last 2 years, I've been the one and only Spider-shell.

• (Still a mad dog, though. Can't quit them!)

• Pretty sure you know the rest.

• I save New York in the daytime and stop mutants with the fam at night.

• I'm single, but a certain pretty mutant keeps on winking at me.

• I'm not good at keeping secrets so I told my brothers and April.

• (Donnie totally WIGGED when I told him! Raph was amazed and Leon was jealous)

• I got vinyl action figures of me.

• I got followers for days on all social media!

• Gizmos are made by my bro in purple!

• Gonna make music on Stripafy!

• ("Caught in a web of lies", I'm going for the feels, baby!)

• And I finally got a POPSICLE! (It's gross, but I still support)

• Crime fighting alone is a little lukewarm, but I feel like it's opening my mind pores.

• Like, I'm on a different plane of existence.

• (Know what I mean...you know what I mean.)

• I feel different things.

• I hear different things.

• I smell different things.

• I'm DOING different things!

• And that slamming awesome.

• So, I'll keep fighting.

• Keep swinging and saving.

• Cause, there's only one mutant who can help these people in the daytime.

• And that's me.

• Cause, I'm Spider-shell, baby.

• Winky-face!😉

#rottmnt #spiderman across the spiderverse #rottmnt crossover #michaelangelo hamato #rottmnt mikey #spidersona #spiderman imagine #rottmnt fanfiction #rottmnt polls #poll results #big mama rottmnt #yeah #big mama bit him #leo was jealous #raph's supportive #donnie jumped at the chance to make new weapons #April steals his web shooters #splinter was told but forgot #thanks for tuning in #stay cool

[izzybubs24]

Lecture 3 Notes - Semiotics

Semiotics - is a study of signs, and how they work to produce meanings, or the study of how things come to have significance.

Semantics - the study of meaning;

"the study of linguistic development by classifying and examining changes in meaning and form".

the meaning, or an interpretation of the meaning, of a word, sign, sentence, etc.

FERDINAND DE SAUSSURE (1857-1913)

French linguist who pioneered the semiotic study of language as a system of signs, organised in a study of signs written in ‘codes’ and ‘structures’.

‘STRUCTURALISM’

Key social structures that define, shape and influence our lives:

Religion

Family

Politics

Media

Semiotics in Action:

? - Question Mark

! - Exclamation Mark

;-) - Winky Face

Representation

Process by which cultural meaning is produced through signs and language.

System by which signs communicate = arbitrary

Arbitrary – arising from accident, rather than from rule; not bound by rules.

Meaning - Constructed by the system of representation

Colours have their own semiotics by Convention or Association

Ferdinand de Saussure

signifier and signified

Marking of differences in language produces meaning

Understanding signifier and signified.

How to interpret signs?

< Syntagmatic axis (links, chain-like) >

SUSHI - BAR

FISH - AND CHIP SHOP

SEAFOOD - RESTAURANT

^

Paradigmatic axis (the axis of choice)

v

Syntagmatic axis / Paradigmatic axis

The syntagmatic analysis describes the relationship of a visual text such as posters, photographs, or the setting of a film.

The paradigmatic axis looks at the way words are grouped together into categories.

CODES:

Codes are read partly by the expectations we have of conventions

Collections of signs in specific forms, (e.g.: language, writing, pictures, acting, graphic layout)

Are defined by their conventions, how they are used, and how the code hangs together.

Primary codes = writing, visuals, sound

Secondary codes = smaller codes within these systems: dress, body language (termed code of expression), visual colour, picture composition, lighting, mise-en-scène, written text, typeface etc.

THREE CATEGORIES OF CODES USED IN TEXTS

TECHNICAL: LIGHTING, CAMERA ANGLES, LENS USED, FRAMING, COMPOSITION, MATERIAL, CLAY, FIRING, MATERIAL,

SYMBOLIC: OBJECTS, SETTING, BODY LANGUAGE, CLOTHING, COLOUR, SHAPES

WRITTEN: HEADLINES, TEXT, CAPTIONS, SPEECH BUBBLES, STYLE, TYPEFACE.

THREE TYPES OF SIGN (CHARLES PEIRCE’S MODEL):

ICON: ICONS LOOK LIKE THE THING (PHOTOGRAPHS, TOILET SIGNS)

INDEX: INDEXICAL SIGNS INDICATE A FURTHER OR ADDITIONAL MEANING TO THE ONE ALREADY SIGNIFIED. (SMOKE = AN INDEX OF FIRE)

SYMBOL: THE SIGNIFIER DOES NOT RESEMBLE OR CAUSE THE SIGNIFIED BUT IS RELATED TO IT BY CONTRACT OR CONVENTION (E.G. ROSE REPRESENTS ROMANCE)

DENOTATION and CONNOTATION

Example;

SIGNIFIER

Denotes - Moon

Connotes - Femininity, Intuition, mystery, change, cycles, the passage of time, Spiritualism.

Typefaces - Typefaces have their own semiotics

MULTIMODALITY: The combination of different semiotic modes – for example, language and music

Music and sound can be used semiotically or semiology

HOW MIGHT YOU USE SEMIOTICS?

Season/Lighting to depict mood

Character's clothing/appearance

The tone of music used

Setting - Where/When

#DE4401 research methodologies

[optimistpax]

Favourite transformer? Probably Prowl ;)

For Prowl:

The Good Asian by Pornsak Pichetshote and Alexandre Tefenkgi

One of my favourite mysteries I’ve read in a while! The Good Asian is a noir detective comic featuring Edison Hark, an American-Chinese detective in 1936 during the Immigration Ban. It’s complex, compelling, and visually breathtaking. Definitely worth a look for anyone who is interested in a good mystery.

For you:

The Me You Love in the Dark by Skottie Young and Jorge Corona

Entirely bc of the winky face and how messy Prowl is in the comics I’m recommending you the monsterfucker horror comic. It follows an artist who moves into a haunted house for inspiration and falls in love with the house (and also the monster that lives there).

#ask #ask game #prowl #the Good Asian also recently won and Eisner and it’s well deserved it’s def one of my favourites so far this year #comic recs

[mylovelyhyunjin]

211107 SKZ Pajama Party

Hyunjin's 😉 wink

😘 love stay boy ....

❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

#stray kids #straykids #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #kpop #skz #lovestay #lovestay boy #cute #winky face #visual racha #visual #pretty boy swag #bang chan #felix #han jisung #changbin

[meltingpotimagines]

Husband!Hawks

this mans

is not husband material

but!

for the right girl? he may be willing to play the part

listen, mans may not be a simp but he is cHARMING okay? he got potential

besides he’s lowkey a simp for the right girl but whatever

was very romantic when he proposed

managed to rent out an entire park perks of being the #2 hero

decked out a gazebo with fairy lights, candles, and rose petals

considered making a heart with the rose petals but decided just scattering them around would be classier and less cheesy

set up a picnic with a basket f u l l of food

sandwiches, cheese, fruit, desserts, the works

and ofc a bottle of champagne bc tonight you two would be celebrating

or so he hoped

you wouldn’t say no right?

i mean who could say no to that gorgeous face pHEW

pulled out the ring box right as you swallowed the last of the macaron you’d been nibbling on

his heart sped up as your eyes widened, a breathless ‘keigo’ escaping your lips

“i know you might not be ready, but the more i get to know you, the more i realize that i don’t want to live the rest of my life without you. you’re the girl of my dreams, and i never want to wake up. would you marry me?”

“are you s t u p i d? ofc i will!”

his grin has never been as bright as it was at that moment

slipped the ring onto your finger and immediately pulled you into his arms and took off into the air

slowed your assent as you two soared above the clouds and spun around, unable to contain his joy

gazed at your face with those golden eyes, taking in your beauty, before giving you the sweetest, most tender kiss you’ve ever felt

oh boy the wedding

when i tell you this was an e v e n t i mean anyone who was anyone wanted to go to this wedding

but only those that were close to the two of you were invited

haha suckerrrs

somehow got all might to officiate

who knew all might could officiate weddings? 

certainly neither of you

no one really knows how that decision came to be but i mean no one was complaining either so

he let you make all the decisions except for one

the flowers

he h a d to be involved in the flowers

he appreciates pretty flora and if the bouquets and floral arrangements at his wedding weren’t the prettiest possible he would n o t be satisfied

teared up as you walked down the aisle (which he will neither confirm nor deny)

not that he wasn’t lookin’ mighty fine too

just imagine: tan suit with a black button up and a gold tie, gold cufflinks with a ruby set in each

i know those are his costume colors but he looks good in them so y’all can fight me

dipped you for your first kiss as husband and wife to everyone’s amusement

best believe a few different cameras caught that

the timing of the wedding was planned out so the reception was held at night

semi-sheer white tents and custom black ten-feet tall candelabras

the soft glow from the candles combined with the moonlight made for the perfect dreamy vibe 

he managed to find a florist that could dye white roses black and cover them them with a thin layer of gold glitter

was it necessary? no

did it look good? heck yeah

the gold glitter shined beautifully against the black roses

tho

the way your eyes sparkled as you danced with him was far more captivating

you two had flown up into the sky to dance your first dance together

your silhouettes against the bright moon made for a perfect picture

the only reason you ended up coming down was because neither of you had eaten much that day and a guy’s gotta eat

he gonna need stamina later *winky face*

you cannot convince me the man wouldn’t insist on fried chicken

like a whole buffet table of different flavors

but i mean fried chicken is good so can’t blame him

everyone expected him to smear some cake on your face when he fed you that first piece

instead wiped off the frosting that got on your lips with his thumb and licked it off

your best friend caught t h a t one on camera and will never stop teasing you about how flustered you got

he kept up a great image of a polite host but on the inside he was ready to g o

it had been a long day and he was ready love on his wife

heh

wife

he likes the sound of that

peppers your face with kisses on the ride home

yeah yeah i know h o n e y m o o n but where y’all were goin’ was forever away and mans just wants to shower you with affection as soon as possible (esp considering he had to keep his hands off you all day since you two never had a moment alone)

scoops you up the second you’re out of the car and carries you over the threshold

gives you a soft kiss before putting you down

and that’s the last soft kiss you’re gonna get for the night lolllll

definitely the type to make you breakfast in the morning

also the type to cook in nothing but an apron and boxers but anyway

you better be up in time to see that sight bc if not, you’re getting breakfast in bed not that i’d complain

he’s not the best cook but mans can manage some bacon and eggs

plus some fresh fruit bc it makes it more visually appealing and less like he doesn’t really know how to cook

he set the tray on your lap and climbs back into bed, pulling you into his side so your head can rest on his chest as you two munch on breakfast

there’s something so soothing about the sound of his heartbeat

a soft little rhythm that nearly puts you back the sleep

didn’t help that he was unconsciously running his fingertips along your arm, drawing random squiggles and shapes

will tilt your head up by the chin every so often to give you a little peck on the lips

if you do fall asleep, he’ll just gaze at you softly while lightly tracing your features

still can’t process that you’re married

someone actually loved him enough to marry him

there was someone that didn’t just admire or use him bc of his quirk

didn’t give him attention purely bc he’s the number 2 hero

you saw all his flaws and shortcomings and insecurities and loved him regardless

if he’s dreaming, please don’t wake him up

you cleaning him wings for him is something he loves so much

it’s such an intimate task that makes him feel cared for

loved

how much time you take in cleaning them and how tenderly you handle each wing

it’s one of his favorite ways to spend time with you

it’s nice being taken care of for once, esp when he’s always taking care of others

absolutely loves taking you on night flights

will take you in his arms and just soar above the clouds

with the clouds below you and the stars above, it feels like you two are the only people that exist

definitely dances with you during some of those flights

wraps one arm more tightly around your waist and take your hand in his and just… slowly spins in the air

it doesn’t look like much but when you’re just looking into each other’s eyes, it feels like the most romantic and intimate moment you could ask for

your life is quite literally in his hands but you’ve never felt safer

even more so when you wrap your arms around his neck and bury your face in the crook

his arms wound securely around your waist, the comforting smell of his scent, the kisses he presses to your temple every so often

it feels like home

likes startling/scaring you a lot

will sneak into the house after work just so he can tap on your shoulder from behind 

the gasp you let out as you freak out for half a second never fails to amuse him the jerk

will always make it up to you with long, deep kiss

if he gets home late after a long day he’ll just crawl into bed and pull you into his arms before burying his face into your hair

no talking, just breathes in your scent before he crashes

he sleeps really well like that, but, although he won’t admit it, he sleeps best when you hold him, his face buried in your chest

he feels warm and safe, like it’s okay to be vulnerable for once

absolutely flirts with you while at work

probably definitely sends you a few spicy pics or texts

it gives him such smug satisfaction knowing the affect he has on you when he’s not even physically there

picks up take-out when he knows your too tired to or would rather not cook

like to back hug you and wrap you up with his wings

9/10 times will bury his face in your neck and nuzzle

sometimes if he spots you while on patrol, he’ll fly over and flirt with you

“how you doin’, gorgeous? the name’s hawks. what’s a pretty lil’ thing like you doin’ in a neighborhood like this?”

sir, this is one of the safest areas in the city pLS-

but if you actually a r e in danger? oh boy

no one, and i mean no one, touches his girl

honestly i’d rather fight bakugo one on one than deal with keigo’s wrath

he’s one of the chillest people you will ever meet, but when he’s that mad? s c a r y

will keep a close watch on you for a while after that

asks you to always let him know where you’ll be and to text him when you get home

definitely considered installing a tracking app on your phones

he’ll calm down eventually, but for the moment he’s extremely anxious

although he certainly tried his best to hide it

he didn’t want to stress you out too, especially if you had any anxieties from it yourself

he was just afraid to lose you

he doesn’t know what he’d do without you

after all, you’re the most precious thing in the world to him and he loves you more than he could ever put into words

#happy birthday b #hope you enjoyed this #hawks #hawks imagine #hawks headcanons #hawks x reader #keigo #keigo imagine #keigo headcanons #keigo x reader #keigo tamaki #my hero academia #mha imagine #mha headcanons #boko no hero academia #bnha imagine #bnha headcanons

[thessalian]

Thess vs TLoVM ep 10

Okay, it’s late and I’m tired and I’m on a lot of painkillers but I’m GOING to watch the thing so here is liveblog:

Okay, that’s one hell of a shot to open on.

Why did they let Percy keep his glasses while they were torturing him? Also ... this reminds me of a trip to the London Dungeon I took once. That’s not the usual use for that hook contraption, but it’s close to the one I recommended. (The one I actually recommended was to hook them under someone’s ribs, one at a time, and pull so it was the slowest, most painful rib spreader. The actual use is to ... well, it’s grotesque, put it that way.)

(Okay, torturers hooked that hook into the anus of a victim and then hung the hook high up on the wall so that gravity basically pulled their intestines out through their arsehole. Like I said. Grotesque.)

Holy HELL. Hi, Orthax. No, seriously, the animators did a fantastic job.

Oh, okay... I vaguely remember that old gun. Also, yay, they kept the “You’re at the bottom of my list” thing!

Hi, Keeper Yennen! This looks ... unfortunate but you’re going to leave it there?!? With a bunch of farmers going up against people in armour who don’t get as badly fucked up by radiant damage? Fuck y’all.

Ooooooooookay, yeah, hello, Ripley-traps. Let’s not let anyone forget that because of her sheer intelligence, she was basically the worst humanoid enemy they ever faced..

Oh. Oh here comes “Which one of my ancestors did you just shame to death?” Except zombies, not ghosts. N’aww. That was too easy. I get why it was too easy, but it was too easy.

Ah, twin-sniping.

The acid roooooooom! And ... we’re kind of rushing Scanlan towards that “drugs” thing.

Oh, okay, that was very well set up, the betrayal. And the glint of mind-fuckery was nicely subtle too.

EW ACID RAT. But a very good visual in terms of showing, not telling, how strong that acid is.

This is a little different than they had it in the game, but smoother and not having to worry overmuch about spell slots and things. Also more tense this way. Loving how they’re showing Scanlan having to really work for what he’s doing. And so I cheer them on! Come on, guys! ...Oh, Grog, that is NOT what I meant! And ... we're gonna have a naked Grog. That’s going to be interesting...

Now see, THAT is teamwork. Also, hi Grog-ass. At least he’s not naked for the rest of the campaign. I mean, I know barbarians don’t need clothes, but I could do without seeing Captain Winky.

Now, see, that is the kind of cliffhanger I can live with. It makes “what happens next?!?” somewhat less painful when it comes right after a triumphant moment.

Righty. Dessert, maybe, and debating more TLoVM. Two eps to go. Honestly, I just want to get this watched. I may have seen a gif of what I presume to be the last shot of ep 12 and I want to see if I’m right. But I could watch in the morning. I’ll decide later. I think part of it is jonesing for just ... video game. It’s been days.

#the legend of vox machina #tlovm spoilers #Thess watches Critical Role

[touchmycoat]

on Promising Young Woman

i was hesitant to watch bc i knew a spoiler, but @trixree convinced me to watch it and i’m very glad i did. all things aside, it’s just damn well-written—pacing’s top-notch, every act shift was action-driven with a female lead, and it balanced the pleasure of a revenge fantasy against the soul of the story SO well.

thoughts & spoilers below

elephant in the room: yeah I hesitated to watch the movie because I know Cassie gets murdered in the end. After watching the scenes that followed, I...have a better understanding of why that was the choice. I still hated that it happened, period. I literally said “fuck you” out loud to the morning after shot, with the sunlight pouring down on her in the white outfit and she had her arms outstretched—yes, she’s a martyr, yes, she’s the “morning angel,” but fuck that, I didn’t need her to be a martyr. I so desperately wanted the movie to give her more than that.

Like Jenna and Wesley said, it was a superhero movie. That lasted until the choice to kill her.

Thoughts on why they did it: for the ironic morning after, where the audience sees not-Zac Efron sob and whine about how he’s going to lose his marriage and family and job after he just knowingly murdered a woman. Where we get to see Schmidt (fnjdnfjdnf what a casting choice, i lost my mind) say the words to Al Monroe that women like Nina needed to hear—it’s not your fault. None of it was your fault. We get to see the violent and continuous forgiveness of men that dead girls have and continue to pay for.

But my question is, what part of the movie managed to give the audience comfort that legal authority is the solution to this problem? The ending felt squeaky clean wrapped-up, yes, but the anxiety that ran deepest for me throughout this entire film was the fact that Cassie was leaving these men alive. All the men she’s found in the clubs, the man whose car she smashed, the entire law firm that specializes in burying rape cases—to me, every man she left alive was one more factor that could come back and bite her. That was my concern, and it was by no means alleviated by the scene with Bo Burnham and the detective right before the wedding.

I guess that circles back to the question of what the film is trying to be, though. It’s a different take on a revenge thriller. It isn’t meant to deliver a smash-burn-kill catharsis. Rather, it operates on a realer level. Which I love, actually! When she told the fedora guy that she’s not the only one who does it, it felt like a very enticing call-to-action lmao, and like a moment that ought to haunt the “good guys” that watch this film. The movie did so well to manifest and deliver the “enough is fucking enough” attitude that everybody ought to have about sexual assault under the influence.

More on why they killed Cassie: to really lean into the specter of Nina who has so haunted the entire narrative. Even handcuffed to the bed, Al Monroe never said the word “rape.” Nobody wants to, they keep skirting around it and refusing to acknowledge it for what it is. That’s why the movie does it for us, the audience. Instead of saying it, the movie gives its thesis on what rape actually is—a murder. A squeezing-out of a woman’s existence. Al Monroe rapes and kills Nina Fisher before the start of the movie, and the movie ends with Al Monroe killing Cassie. It ends with the violent burning of Cassie’s body, and fucking Schmidt kicking her hand with the childishly painted nails back into the bonfire. The parallel destruction of women is evident.

Did the ending feel like enough of a resurrection?

On a fandom level, I am happy to do the work of seeing the Romance in it. Cassie evidently anticipated her own death, perhaps even sought it—it’s easy to picture a fic focused on Cassie’s thoughts pre-bachelor party, where she’s just so happy to finally be joining Nina again. Where she gets to sign a text Love, Cassie & Nina. I fucking adore how much of an agent she was in the action throughout the entire movie, and the ending definitely did some work in resurrecting that agency.

On a real life level though, I’m so, so fucking sad she essentially had to commit suicide to get the justice she sought. She really is a martyr, but no part of the story indicated she was happy to be. There’s no relief in what she chose—it was simply what had to be done, because nobody else would do a goddamn thing.

Oh boy, the movie did so well to play Ryan as a good guy up until the very end. When time came for him to own up to his mistakes, he flipped like a fucking dime. Suck it #NotAllMen.

The evocations of childhood were interesting. We have the notebook, the scrunchie, the pink bedroom, the childhood photos, the juice box, the friendship necklaces, the painted nails. What is that doing?

- It’s a visual touch point for the arc words “we were just kids!” used as a protestation by rapists and assaulters to excuse their actions. Men get to be “kids” who made mistakes, women get repeated insistence that their actions have consequences, that they shouldn’t have gotten that drunk.

- It signifies Cassie’s vulnerability, her childhood best friend that she’s never been able to move on from. Functionally, I thought it was a brilliant way of grounding how tender the center of her story is, that she’s actually operating from a very simplistic point of pain and loss, considering how cool and violent she gets to be throughout most of the movie.

- It becomes a symbol for destroyed innocence when it’s the last bit of Cassie we see before her body’s burned. The movie re-positioned the meaning of this word “innocence,” I think. It’s not about women being ruined after rape, it’s about these women being people. Cassie’s last monologue about Nina does so much work to hammer that home—Nina’s value was never about innocence before or after her assault, it was never diminished. She was loved because of who she was as a person, but Al Monroe squeezed the life out of her anyways. Childhood and innocence become about the happiness that existed before men attacked, and the men get to symbolically destroy it one more time with a kick into the pyre. But then comes the resurrection, and in a way, the movie returns Cassie to that happiness with the last texts she got to sign with her best friend and a winky face.

The penitent lawyer was a hell of a narrative choice. I did accept it, and I like it mainly for what it showed of Cassie—that she is capable of forgiveness. By putting the scene with Nina’s mother right after, it transitions Cassie into a spot of hope pretty damn effectively. I also like that it didn’t take Cassie’s emotional labor to get the lawyer to that place, and that he was already self-flagellating (the dead plants behind Cassie in that apartment were a great touch) before she got there. I like the possibility that Cassie could have forgiven herself for not being there for Nina.

That’s why I’m so damn mad she’s dead!!!! She recognized how destructive her pattern of behavior is, and put an effort to stop that for herself and for her relationship with people she cares about. Yeah, Ryan proved an asshole, but it wasn’t even about him!! She laid it clean out for that guy!! No forgiveness. He was not an innocent bystander. He does not get to get away with anything, and all the ways he chose to behave after the fact just further proves it!

Cassie was stunning, and dangerous, and incredible. Narratively, she really could have gotten away with it. I don’t want to buy this finale, that it takes the destruction of another woman to bring justice to the first. I don’t care how neatly framed it was, that was not a happy ending.

#promising young woman #it was fucking great #and i'm still fuming about it

[can-childe-step-on-me]

Please join our server “Genshin for Crackheads” administrated by @xiaosclover​, @tonedeafbardehe​ and me! https://discord.gg/qSWhvFzA

Okay, this demented carrot child always comes first in his year in practically every subject in Liyue Academy without breaking a sweat.

Then you came along from Mondstadt School for Gifted Students and came in first place, with Childe 1 mark behind you

This is obviously a huge blow to him, because no one has ever upstaged him and over 1 stupid mark too! 

School is shit too, so everyone makes a big deal out of it too

Childe swears to god that if he heard one more, “But you were always first place!” he is going to drown the school

As long as you didn’t beat him in P.E, you were safe from his wrath-

*Insert a visual representation of you wiping the floor with the poor boy’s ass in dodgeball*

You didn’t really make a big splash (haha) on your arrival to school as it was test week, but students flocked around you and Childe wishes that your innocent face were a little less cuter so that he could smash it in

He went up to you a few times too, looking for a fight that you tactfully avoided because feral children like Childe are to be ignored

You get bombarded with height jokes every ten seconds, and sometimes, a little whale doodle in found in the corner of your neat notes (in pencil, he doesnt hate you that much)

He becomes really studious at this point, taking notes in classes instead of daydreaming or playing Angry Bards on his phone 

“Joint first place...” You two mutter in disbelief, “JOINT FIRST PLACE?!” 

This is your breaking point too, this stupid orange beanpole cannot equal you in anyway

YOU DID NOT SUFFER A MONTH OF: “Can you reach that?” and variations of “Is the air more polluted down there?” Just for him to TIE with you

You look at him, his blue eyes shining with both fury and the thrill of a competition, both of you share an “It’s on”

This is it, boys. This is w a r

You and Childe squabble more often, perhaps not physically but there was this one time you tried to kick the back of his knees when he used you as an armrest

“You look a little tense down there, do you want a massage?” “I’ll massage your fucking neck-” “If you can reach it, that is.”

P.E is filled with sexual tension.

School is shit, so some of your classmates start shipping it

And though you deny it, and say that you would never date a note-sabotaging hooligan, you realise Childe incredibly gorgeous 

He knows you're beautiful too, which makes competition harder because sometimes he just daydreams about to next wrestling match you have with him. It's not because he likes you or anything he just looks forward to flirting fighting with you!

Then comes D-Day, the day when Childe got the message that he has a raging crush on you

So his brother Teucer, who's in primary school, is found crying in the school playground because he accidentally dropped the notebook his brother gave him into a puddle by none other than you 

You comfort him with chocolate and pick up the notepad, looking at the smudged ink that onced used to be a tutorial on multiplying fractions

Huh, this handwriting is familiar, and that whale doodle-  

Holy shit Childe writes notes for his brother? That’s?? So?? Cute??

Speak of the devil, hear comes the red head, his observant eyes catching the red rings under the small boy’s eyes

He grabs your collar, “What did you do to my brother?” 

Childe has never laid a hand on you before and doesn’t really overstep your boundaries, but if anyone touches his precious brother they will pay

Teucer looks at you two and nearly chokes on his chocolate, “They didn’t do anything! I just dropped-“

Small bub starts crying again and Childe hugs him, “Don’t worry Teucer, I'll write you more! I kinda forgot how to multiply fractions anyway!” He lies.

You’re on your way to the city centre, and since that’s close to where rich boy and rich boy jr lives, they tag along with you

“Thanks, y/n. Sorry for grabbing your collar, are you hurt?” He sheepishly scratches the back of his head, a little ashamed of losing his cool.

“I’m good. I never knew you had a brother!” You reply and Teucer jumps.

“Oh, is this the classmate you were talking about!? The one that beat you-” “SH-SHU-SHUSH TEUCER-”

And basically the rest of the day Teucer blabs about Childe’s crush on you

Childe just finds it adorable how you giggle at Teucer’s antics and how you speak so cutely and sofogohoho everything-

After that event, you kind of realise how nice Childe is

Like buying lollies for his senior, Zhongli during the summer

And sometimes he makes sure you eat well because he “can’t be happy when he beats you when you're not at your full capacity.”

He makes more height jokes, but they're in a gentler context now? Like, “You’re so angry and tiny, I should start calling you pocket rocket.” 

You’re slowly getting whipped for him too though. Sure, he draws those damn whale chibis in your notebook, but they have a little winky face and a heart now.

You don’t rub them out anymore, they’re too cute-

Childe burns himself out a lot, so you let him rest on your shoulder during free period and make sure he’s hydrated 

He’s whipped x2 now, good job

So now you guys go on study dates, and he’ll occasionally quiz you.

If you get something wrong, he gently flicks you on the forehead 🥺 But not too hard because “Competing against a person with dead brain cells is bad sportsmanship.”

Childe becomes more touchy (think chemistry, as time increases, the affection this boy has for you increases) like keeping you on one side of the road and ruffling your hair.

Everyone except you two know that you two are gonna be endgame at one point.

So 120000 coffee dates later, you ask him if he’s single or not (He’s popular with the ladies, gents and the non binary folk) and he shakes his head 

You twiddle your fingers and ask him out

Apparently, according to rumours, Childe is really harsh or incredibly sympathetic in terms of rejection.

Hoping to take the fall gently, you shut your eyes, but instead you feel your hands getting squeezing and you’re met with a red, flustered face 

Childe lets out a “Yes!” which comes out more shy than his usual coy tone of voice.

Ya’ll he’s so nice to you? He’ll still wrestle you and bully you about your height, but it’s so endearing?

So two new highschool sweethearts walk into school hand in hand all bubbly and lovey dovey. 

You both stare at the scoreboard of grades in your year...

You watch the colour drain from Childe’s face and when you look you feel like screaming...

“Joint... First... Place... AGAIN?!”

#genshin childe #ajax x reader #tartaglia #tartaglia x reader #childe #childe x reader #genshin school au #genshin impact #genshin tartaglia #genshin #genshin drabbles #genshin x reader

[fwoopersongs]

10 Artists, 10 Songs

(and bonus for some: the lines that reeled me in)

I was tagged by @thefeastandthefast and @fishylife - thanks guys!!! :D! this comes at a great time because I was just looking for some new song recs ~

The following are the top 10 that I’ve looped the most in 2021:

1. 张信哲 Jeff Chang - 《无别》 No Separation (an unexpected and beautiful MV; i’d listened to it many times without feeling anything - too distracted by the Tian Guan Ci Fu donghua opening visuals - and the line that caught me here actually did so because of this MV)

情丝挥剑 缘份消失仍隐约 Emotions’ silken threads - a sword swung - affinity disappears, still, its shade remains. 有谁恋 灭了明灯对残月 Who is yearning? Extinguish the lamp, face the waning moon.

2. Winky诗 - 《折扇》 Folding Fan (WOW this plays a mean game of whack-a-mole with all my top favourite tropes: sentient object descends to the mortal world witnessing history and people passing, entering their story, experiencing life)

与我共赴好人间 Together, let us leap forth into this good world, 流转他、她笔端 ensuring his, her inked words are carried on. 谁知道哪一句会千古吟传 Who knows which line may be sung throughout the ages?

3. Billy Boyd - The Last Goodbye (bringing back memories of my LOTR and The Hobbit days)

To these memories I will hold With your blessing I will go To turn at last to paths that lead home

4. 杨秉音 Yang Bin Ying - 《花满城》 Flowers Across the City (my absolute absolute top fav of the of Tian Guan Ci Fu OST soundtracks - and all OST tracks so far this year actually)

5. 二階堂 和美 Kazumi Nikaido - 《 いのちの記憶》 When I Look Back on This Life (theme song of studio ghibli film, the tale of princess kaguya. the version I watched was the DVD music video/end credits with chinese subs... they made me cry so bad omg)

6. 徐小凤 Paula Tsui - 《春夏秋冬》 Four Seasons (O.O my dad recced this to me like last week and it’s been STUCK in my head ever since... extra: Fei Yu Qing ver. in mandarin)

回头望昨天 瞬息数十年 Looking back on yesterday, several decades have passed in the blink of an eye, 谁人曾带走 一片叶 has anyone managed to bring along so much as a leaf when it was their time?

7. 金志文 Jin Zhiwen - 《出尘》 letting go (this song??????? it’s so sincere???? so gentle???? i love it VERY much - every line reaches the heart in its own way. it’s too difficult to pick a fav)

8. 五月天 Mayday - 《步步》 Step-by-Step (gixi stirred up my bbjx feels like two months ago and trapped me in this spiral. just THINKING of the line below brings tears to my eyes)

天空和我的中间 The Heavens and I, between us, 只剩倾盆的思念 there remains only this overwhelming longing.

9. 刘宇宁 Liu Yu Ning - 《天问》 Asking Heaven (the entire chorus is just permanently stuck in my head at this point lol someone please save meeeee)

10.  朱七 & 周深 Zhu Qi & Zhou Shen - 楼台 Butterfly Lovers (

我不知 竟不知            (我不是) I did not know, did not know                          I am not 你是深闺中的女子 (藏在深闺中的女子) you are a girl dwelling in her inner rooms. this girl hidden away in her inner rooms.

Tagging @decrescendo, @beneaththebrim, @liuet, @youtiaoshutiao​ and anyone who is interested!!!!

#tagging games #i love doing these hahaha #i've got 11 technically but EH #whoops this was a bit longer than i intended

[jingabitch]

Happee Birthday

Summary: Taehyung wants a very special birthday present.

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Taehyung x reader

Warnings: smut | anal | watersports | some daddy kink (minor) | established relationship | dirty talk | degradation (minor)

Word count: 1.3k

A/N: this was a fill for the kink would you rather drabble game!

Taehyung had asked and asked until you’d finally given in on his birthday. It had literally been the only thing on his wish list, so the day before they were due to return to Seoul for New Year’s, you texted him, “Okay” and a winky emoji, with no context. His imagination immediately went into overdrive, hoping against hope that you meant what he thought, but you’d been so resistant to the idea that he couldn’t help but doubt himself.

Still, he found himself preparing for the possibility of his fantasy coming true, drinking lots of water on the flight back to Seoul, so much that Jungkook, who was sitting next to him, gave him a weird look when he asked the flight attendant for a refill of his water for the twentieth time. He squirmed around his seat towards the end of the flight, both from the pressure in his bladder and his excitement. His birthday was over already, celebrated while he was overseas, but he knew you’d have something planned for him.

When he finally burst through the doors of his apartment, you were waiting for him on the couch. Jimin had texted you letting you know that they were on their way back from the airport, and that Taehyung was definitely acting all cagey and weird.

“Hey, baby,” you greeted him, leaping off the couch and flying into his arms because you’d missed your boyfriend, after all, and it was nice to be back together again. For a moment he just held you, his face buried in your hair, but then the urgent needs of his body caught up with him and he started squirming.

“Babe-” he whined, and you huffed out a small laugh.

“Yes?” you asked, playing coy.

He nuzzled into your hair as his hands slid down your body, grasping your hips. “I missed you,” he breathed, pressing his erection into your tummy. You smirked, though with your face buried in his chest, he didn’t see. Your boyfriend really was predictable.

“I missed you too, baby…” you snuck a hand down to palm his erection, but pressed down on his bladder on the way, just to be a little shit. He inhaled sharply, and you giggled. “Are you okay?” you asked, looking up at him in feigned concern.

He scowled down at you, knowing that you were fully aware of what you were doing. “Get into the bedroom,” he growled, slapping your ass. You rolled your eyes at him but went anyway. Taehyung followed closely behind you, blatantly checking out your ass. If all went well… he shivered thinking about it.

You started stripping as you entered the bedroom, Taehyung following suit. “Hurry, baby,” he urged when you hesitated, your fingers playing with the waistband of your panties. Red lace, the pair you knew he liked best.

You giggled, knowing you were being a brat. "Wouldn't you rather come here and do the honours, babe?" you goaded him.

His eyes darkened, and he closed the distance between you in two large steps, pushing you onto the bed. "You're such a brat, you know that?" he asked almost conversationally as he hooked his fingers into your underwear and yanked them hard down your legs. You thought you could hear some of the stitches ripping apart, but didn't worry too much about it - Taehyung made sure to replace anything he damaged, especially when he liked it so much too.

You spread your legs for him invitingly, but he just shook his head before flipping you over on all fours. His hand between your shoulder blades pushed you down so your ass was sticking out, and you waited patiently for -

"Holy fucking shit," he swore when he caught sight of the cute jewelled buttplug sticking out of your ass. You'd made sure to prep yourself when Jimin let you know they were coming home, so you were all ready to go. The plug itself was a gift from Taehyung, sent home to you while they were travelling.

You buried your face in the covers to smother the satisfied grin you couldn't hold back. Never let it be said that you didn't take care of your boyfriend.

"Babe, you gotta let me know now. Does this mean -" he couldn't even finish the sentence.

Looking back at him over your shoulder, you nodded. "Give it to me, baby," you said, wriggling your ass at him enticingly.

"Fuck, yes," he growled as he popped the plug out, dropping it on the bed next to you. You grimaced - you'd definitely need to clean up after this. It was a good thing that you'd thought to put the special fluid-proof sheets on the bed beforehand. Your asshole gaped a little, and Taehyung groaned as he lined his cock up with your asshole.

Anal wasn't something new to you. In fact, it was an activity you enjoyed frequently with each other, but the way Taehyung was moaning like he was about to lose his shit at any moment made it seem new. "Fuck, this is so hot," he groaned, huffing and panting for air.

"Tae, come on, it's not that big a deal." Growing impatient, you tried to hurry things along, but he just growled at you as he pushed your face back into the covers.

"Shut up, whore," he commanded, before lapsing into another whine. "Fuck, this is so fucking hot, shit," he groaned while thrusting slowly into your ass.

"Come on, daddy. Please give me your piss," you begged, knowing that it would make him crazy.

"Fuck, you want it, babygirl? Here it comes." It took a few seconds for the stream to actually start, and he had to lean over you a little more before it started coming. You moaned together with him at the feeling of his hot urine gushing into you, filling your guts. There was a lot, courtesy of his earlier prep, and it overflowed quickly, leaking out of your ass and running down your pussy and legs, over his cock and balls, and dripping all over the bed.

"Jesus, this is such a mess," he marvelled, looking down at you. The feeling of actually pissing into your ass was so indescribably nasty and sexy, and so was the visual of it leaking all over you. Watching his pee running all over your skin was something that never got old for him.

When he finally expelled the contents of his bladder, he pulled out slowly, excited to see the way it filled your gaping asshole. He wasn't disappointed by the sight that greeted him. "Fuck, you're so fucking hot, babe," he told you again. It was like it was the only thing he still remembered how to say. He started stroking himself off while watching the way your ass clenched around nothing, piss dribbling out of you each time. "You're such a good slut, my pretty little whore, aren't you? So fucking dirty," he cooed at you, the words interspersed with hoarse groans and grunts he couldn't hold back.

He came in spurts across your lower back and ass, his semen striping across your skin to add to the mess on your body. When he was done, he collapsed on top of you, knocking you back into the mattress. You squealed in shock at the sudden change in position and the way it caused more pee to squirt from your ass, making a mess of both of you, but he ignored it, rolling onto his back.

"You're the best girlfriend ever." He'd never sounded this sincere and heartfelt before, and you smothered a laugh. Of course this would be his reaction to you letting him piss in your ass.

"Happee birthday," you responded, turning to press a kiss to his lips.

#kwritersworldnet #smutcentralnet #btswritingcafe #bangtanhq #magicshopnet #btswriterscollective #ficswithluv #taehyung smut #bts scenario #yall nasty as hell #but so am i so

[escargoon-sandwich]

marx attempts to ruin a chatfic - scrapped chapter

there is a reason why this isn’t going on ao3. simply put, i’m not satisfied with it.

11:50 pm

Zan Parthenon: @everyone

Zan Parthenon: HELP

Zan Parthenon: MARX JUST RAN BACK TO CAMP WITH A BUNCH OF THE SKULL GANG FOLLOWING HIM

Big D: I’m already on my way.

Zan Parthenon:  please tell me you’re bringing kirby

Gryll: AAAAAA

Gryll pressed their back to Zan’s, sucking their breath in. “Man, this sucks! Big time!” 

“Understatement of the year, my friend.” Zan stated flatly as she charged her drums. Gryll had managed to build up a small wall to hide behind, but the blocks they’d made crumbled easily - it wouldn’t hold off the Skull Gang forever. 

Something glittering hovered above their heads, and Gryll glanced up to see Marx barely clearing the wall. “Yo Zan! Mind lighting me up?”

“Sure. Just stand in front of me.” Zan ordered as she jumped up to the top.

“Oh come on, that’s gonna suck…” Marx whined.

“Think of it as payback for when you sprayed me with febreeze earlier.”

“Okay but you asked for that-”

“BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE DRINKING KOOL-AID!”

“WHY WOULD I DRINK KOOL-AID OUT OF A FEBREEZE BOTTLE-”

The inane argument was interrupted by a particularly large skully barreling through the wall, showering Gryll in brick fragments. Gryll cried out and swung their broom forward, borrowing some techniques they’d seen some Broom Hatters do. The skully tumbled away, just in time for Marx to body slam it. “Hey, Gryll!” he shouted, twirling on his toetip. “Go find Dedede and Kirby!”

“I - okay!” Gryll hopped on their broom and booked it out of there, weaving through the trees. Beneath them, they felt the broom sort of sputter - which was to be expected. The enchantment was beginning to wear thin - they probably should have refreshed it before coming to the islands.

As the sound of battle faded behind them, Gryll bit their lip. They really, really wanted to help, but they were more of a hedgewitch - someone who did spells meant for everyday life, not for the battlefield. 

Whatever. Finding Kirby was helping too.

The broom fell suddenly, about five feet - it couldn’t last much longer. Gryll groaned, knowing they’d have to continue their search on foot. Quietly, they landed and leaned against a large tree, trying to listen to their surroundings…

Okay, there was the fight going on, and that kind of drowned things out. Oh, how Gryll longed to have nice big ears like Daroach, then maybe they would have better hearing! Above them, the branches rustled, and then something dropped on them - Oh, Lord.

They swung their broom wildly, batting at whatever had chomped down onto their face. They sucked in air, choking on the downright rancid breath, then filled their lungs again. “LET! GO!” they howled at the top of their lungs. “I’LL TASTE AWFUL, SO LET -”

Suddenly they were free, and they gasped for air. The thing was now howling in pain, and Gryll cautiously looked over to see something brown and furry mauling their attacker - a skull gang member. They’d been followed! “Shit…” they breathed. “I gotta find the others quick…”

“Wait!” The furry thing turned, and - oh lord, if that wasn’t the cutest thing Gryll had ever seen! Kirby was wearing some sort of animal costume - it was probably a copy ability! “Gryll, it’s me!”

“Yeah, I can see that now. Sorry, I thought you were like… some sort of raccoon…” they muttered. “Where’s Dedede?”

“Over here!” The king crashed through a bush and faceplanted in the dirt. He scrambled to his feet quickly, just in time for Escargoon to slam into his back, with Gooey close behind him. He stumbled forward, but caught himself before he could body-slam Kirby. “Okay. Okay, I’m good. Um.” He smiled sheepishly at Gryll. “Where’s the circus?”

“The circus? Oh, you mean Marx!” A crack of thunder roared through the forest, and Gryll pointed in that direction. “I’d say they’re over there.”

“Thanks.” Without missing a beat, Dedede charged forward. “Escargoon, you stay with Gryll!”

“But Sire -”

“No buts! I don’t want those freaks anywhere near you!” Dedede turned away and disappeared through the brush, and Kirby and Gooey soon vanished after him.

“No, wait!” Gryll cried, only to be drowned out by another crack of thunder. “... Damn. Okay.” They turned to Escargoon, who was tugging at his beard. “We can’t stay here. I don’t care what Dedede said, it’s not safe. There might be more of those guys around.”

“Are you kidding me? Why didn’t you say so earlier?” Escargoon growled, waving his arms in the air.

“I would have, but they ran off before I could - wait.” Gryll’s eyes narrowed as they heard more rustling in the branches above. “... Hey. Weird question. If you were surrounded by, say… five or six dudes who wanted you dead, how likely do you think you’d be able to survive?”

Escargoon was peering at the canopy now, quivering. “H-honestly? I’d give it like, a twenty percent chance?”

“Okay then. Let’s run.” 

----

12:39 AM

Kirby: you know i’m glad those guys don’t get stronger at midnight

Big D: @Marx did you find Gryll and Escargoon yet? Or DMK?

Marx: i found the first two and got a broom shaped bruise on my face

Kirby: ouch, did gryll get you? they hit pretty hard sometimes…

Marx: no it was escargoon lol

Marx: gryll got one of those tears to the face, so i think goonie grabbed the broom to defend himself

Big D: Shit, are they hurt?

Marx: nah, they’re in pretty good shape

Marx: gryll is now under a bunch of leaves, we made them a little blanket so they could stay worm

Marx: … i meant to say warm but you know

Marx: i guess that fits too? since they’re under some leaves

Marx: anyway dedede come get yo mans

Big D: I have absolutely no idea what that means, Marx.

Marx: oh, you know

Marx: ;dauhnjffff

Kirby: MARX????

Marx: You know that massive downed tree? We’re near that.

Kirby: yeah i do know it, but what happened?

Marx: A stupid clown nearly played a nasty prank.

Zan Parthenon: Who is this?

Marx: This is Escargoon. I grabbed Marx’s phone before he could do something dumb.

Zan Parthenon: He was going to send the winky face, wasn’t he?

Gryll: nooo, that’s our inside jooooke

Kirby: oh hey, welcome back gryll!

Gryll: right i need to debrief everyone, maybe in the morning? i need access to my dream journal even though this wasn’t really a dream it’s a good idea to write it down

Zan Parthenon: I got it, and I’ll bring it over.

Gryll: thanks

----

8:14 AM

Gryll: alright, i wrote down what i saw in the doc you guys have going for that sort of thing

Daddyroach: Alright, I’ll take a look.

Gryll: the good news is that i did find a good tree, finally, while i was writing everything down

Gryll: so i’ll be re-enchanting my broom and making a new one

Gryll: … actually, wait

Gryll: @Escargoon do you want to borrow one?

Big D: He’s still sleeping.

Gryll: oh, okay

Gryll: i’ll try later then

Big D: Any reason why you want to give him one?

Gryll: because last night, i lent him it

Gryll: well, he took it from me actually, and he was like, “if you want to get rid of a pest you sweep like THIS” and then did the windy thing

Big D: The windy thing?

Gryll: kirby knows the windy thing! the thing the broom hatters do

Big D: ooooh, i get it

Gryll: but he seemed to like it, he was cackling

Daddyroach: Okay so, uh.

Daddyroach: My dad got sacrificed to Necrodeus. 

Gryll: the guy who was PROBABLY your dad

Daddyroach: Most likely my dad.

Daddyroach: Considering that you said my mom confessed to being pregnant at the time.

Gryll: well no necrodouche kind of forced the confession out of her because he grabbed her and…

Gryll: uhm.

Gryll: he tried ripping you and your siblings out of her

Gryll: i think he wanted to eat you

Daddyroach: … thank god dedede’s dad was there.

Gryll: yeah

Kirby: we still haven’t found any sign of DMK anywhere…

Taranza: Come back to the hotel, Kirby. Ribbon, Adeleine and I are gonna go look next.

Kirby: okay

Borb: Do you need me there?

Big D: You know, not to sound rude, but I’d rather you be at the castle right now.

Big D: If we have a group of people back at the castle, it’s… something. 

Big D: In case something bad happens.

Borb: … I see.

B. Dee: I’ll do my best, your majesty!

Big D: Thank you.

Tiff: something happened

Big D: Tiff? Are you okay?

Tiff: no

Tiff: dmk came back here and took my mom

Tiff: she went out to the balcony and he grabbed her

Gryll: oh shit, oh SHIT

Daddyroach: This lines up too well.

Daddyroach:  I’m going to try to find her.

Tiff: she’s where you guys are?

Daddyroach: Yeah, and she’s in immediate danger.

---

Normally, Daroach would be happy to have a target that broadcast its location. When that target was a woman who was five months pregnant, though, things got intense.

Lady Like was kicking up one hell of a fuss, though, and it made tracking her down easy. "Yo! Marx!"

The jester crashed out of the canopy, faceplanting into a puddle. He coughed out some mud and grinned at Daroach. "I meant to do that."

"Sure you did. Now listen." Daroach pointed in the direction of the screaming. "Go up ahead for me, okay? We'll try a pincer attack."

"Oh, good idea!" Marx took to the air, then visually screeched to a halt. "Did you tell Kirby and Adeline too?"

"Yeah." Daroach readied the Triple Star, listening for the sounds of struggle. "We're close. Just a little farther…"

"Right. See ya!" Marx flew off, and Daroach zoned in on where he heard the fighting. He soon found himself in a small clearing, where he caught Dark Meta Knight getting a square kick to the face, delivered by one Lady Like.

Daroach couldn't help it. He laughed and clapped as he made his presence known. "Good job, idiot, you're getting your ass handed to you by a pregnant woman."

"A woman with a black belt," Lady Like corrected, pouting.

 Dark Meta whirled and drew his sword, brandishing it towards his poor victim. "Listen here, both of you!" he growled. "I don't have time for this horseshit, nor the patience." He was shaking slightly. "All I want is for one thing to go right for me!"

"Yeah, and I'd like some goddamn peace and quiet. But life isn't fair and we don't always get what we want." Daroach shrugged. "You'd think you'd have learned that by now."

"Bold words from a thief." Dark Meta hissed, prodding Lady Like's belly with the tip of his sword. "Now. I have a gift to deliver to my master, and I'm willing to rip it out of her if need be."

Daroach felt like his stomach was turning to ice, and he lowered the brim of his hat to hide his panic. "... Master, huh? You rebounded kinda fast, huh?" 

Dark Meta's wings twitched, as Daroach heard rustling in the nearby undergrowth. "What do you mean, rebound?"

"I'm just saying… you hopped on the Necrodeus train pretty damn quick." Out of the corner of his eye, Daroach saw Kirby peek out of some tall grass. He wished he had a way to signal to him to wait. "You got a thing for toxic men, don't you?"

Oooh, the sword tip was wavering now, and it was quickly pointed in Daroach's direction. "I hope you realize what you are implying."

"'Course I do." Daroach flicked the brim of his hat up and grinned. "You, my friend, are a slut."

Dark Meta Knight roared and flung himself towards Daroach, who gasped as he felt the serrated blade sink into his gut. Lady Like stumbled away from the two, and Daroach saw a waiting Adeline reach for her hand and drag her out of the area. “You do not get to impose that judgement on me!”

Daroach smirked, then coughed up blood. “Well. At least I set out what I meant to do here,” he muttered as he pressed the Triple Star against Dark Meta’s mask, and blasted him away. “Go and run back to your new sugar daddy!”

There, he fell to the ground, where he wrapped his cloak around himself as his opponent scanned the treeline. One of Daroach’s ears twitched as he heard Marx yelling hysterically - he must have found the two escapees. 

“Hmph. The child’s not worth getting in a fight with the jester over.” Dark Meta sheathed his sword and turned, leaving Daroach in the dirt. “My master will be back soon anyway.” With that, the sound of shattering glass filled the air as he teleported away, and Kirby darted out from the bushes. 

“Are you okay?” Kirby squealed, while pressing a few leaves into Daroach’s wound. Daroach yelled in pain, and Kirby almost looked a little sick. “Ooh, guess not…”

---

12:12 pm

Daddyroach: Alright, so maybe calling him a slut wasn’t the best idea.

Kirby: !!!! you’re up!!!

Tiff: is my mom okay?

Kirby: yeah!!! she kicked him a lot!!!

Adeleine: I’m pretty sure I saw some dents in that mask, your mom’s a straight-up badass. 

Adeleine: Are you okay though, dad?

Daddyroach: No.

Daddyroach: He got me bad, but Doc’s taking care of the stab wound.

Adeleine: i should have stayed?

Daddyroach: Absolutely not. You could have gotten stabbed.

Adeleine: … yeah, you’re right.

Gooey: tiiiiiiiiff

Gooey: yourmoooomisssniccccce

Marx: so uh daroach

Marx: why’d you call him a slut?

Tiff: what’s that word mean?

Marx: you’ll find out when you’re older.

Tiff: what if i want to know now, marx?

Marx: i’d have to say too bad because your mom would probably kill me

Tiff: oh it’s a swear word?

Marx: yeah lol

Escargoon: Speaking of your mom, Tiff…

Escargoon: Should I go talk to her?

Tiff: is there a reason why you think you shouldn’t?

Escargoon: We weren’t always on good terms.

Escargoon: Scratch that, we were never on good terms, up until I left.

Tiff: i think she knows you’re trying to change for the better

Tiff: i don’t think it’ll hurt to see her

Dedede: Can you like, keep her company while I’m out dealing with some shenanigans?

Dedede: There’s something going on to the north, and I’m going to go investigate.

Escargoon: I can do that.

----

Escargoon stared at the door handle way longer then he probably should have. One of the Waddle Dees that worked for the hotel was giving him a curious look. He knew the worst things Lady Like could do - he’d seen her beat the shit out of those guys who’d stalked her daughter. If she didn’t want to see him, well… he probably deserved whatever she dished out.

He finally decided to just knock. “Oh, who is it?” Lady Like’s voice rang out loud and clear, and Escargoon swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat.

“It’s, um. It’s me.” There was a brief pause, and he added. “Can I come in?”

“Yes. Yes you may.” Oh boy, that response was rather terse...

Escargoon took a deep breath and entered the room. Technically, it was the one in his name, but with the… thing with Dedede, that was up in the air. Lady Like was here, now, nestled in a pile of pillows, one hand resting on her belly while the other one picked at a piece of bread. She looked like she’d been woken up in the middle of the night - in fact, she probably had been. “So! I’d ask you how things have been, but. Yeah.”

Like gave him a look so sour it could curdle milk. " I have had one of the worst mornings of my life. Are you certain you are happier here?"

"Huh?" Escargoon blinked in confusion. "Of course I am! Why, instead of getting hit all the time, I get hit on -" Lady Like had instantly raised an eyebrow. "Oops."

Well, her mood seemed to have improved. "Escargoon," she said with a conspiratorial smirk, "I have the inkling that you have a thing with the king!"

Escargoon felt his cheeks heat up, and he turned away. "What gave you that idea?" 

“Well…” Like tilted her head and winked. “I heard you were sleeping with him...”

“T-that was only last night!” he spluttered. “A-and it was platonic, okay. No shenanigans happened!”

“Yes, and I only married my husband platonically.”

“Look, he hasn’t even kissed me yet, okay?” Escargoon crossed his arms. “And I doubt it counts as a thing if he hasn’t even asked me out yet.”

“But there is a potential of a thing, yes?” Like smirked at him. “I’m sure your mother will be happy to know her little snail has a sweetie!”

“Oh, no, no, you are NOT telling her before I do!” He began to pace a bit. “Great, now I forgot what I even came here for in the first -”

Escargoon was interrupted by a wet “thump” on the balcony, and he jumped and whirled to face the sliding glass door, now plastered with Gooey’s face. He sighed in relief as he went to open it, but as Gooey rolled in, he realized that the little slimeball did not seem happy at all. “Hey little guy, what’s up?” Gooey wiggled around, a look of distress on his face. “Listen, Gooey, I know you’re upset, but you’re going to have to use your words, okay?”

Gooey paused for a moment, then opened his mouth and shouted one word. “FUCK!”

Lady Like gasped in horror. "Was this where Tiff learned that word?"

"Nah, that was probably Marx." After a look of confusion from Like, he continued. "Y'know, little jester guy, kicked Dedede in the junk?"

"Ah, him." She rose from the bed, smoothing her hand over her stomach. "Oh, my! Escargoon, look!"

"Huh?" A massive thundercloud was beginning to form on the horizon, but something was off. Mainly, it seemed like it was pouring out of the ocean. "That's not good..."

Gooey was beginning to buzz loudly. "Is he supposed to be doing that?" Lady Like asked, then cringed in disgust as Gooey spat out his phone. "Oh…"

Escargoon, however, noticed something else. Something that looked like a shockwave of sorts… and it was heading towards them, fast. He shoved Lady Like aside, away from the glass door, then grabbed Gooey and ducked into his shell.

[dresupi]

Iris - Axel Cluney/Darcy Lewis

for @meilan-firaga​ 706 words Rated T Iris - Aftermath of a drunken voicemail

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her head was pounding and she fucking knew she wasn’t going to be able to look Axel in the eye that day.  Never mind that Wade had called a meeting between the members of X-Force and she’d been summoned belatedly. She wasn’t actually a member, seeing as she wasn’t a mutant, but she did handle all his tech stuff for him, so it made sense why he wanted her there.

But she really wished she could have known about it the previous night before she went out with Jane and Natasha and got fucking wasted on Russian vodka. That shit was so strong, she’d actually hallucinated calling Axel and confessing every single aspect of her crush on him.

She’d even told him how much it turned her on when he bit his lip and how she really wanted to do that herself.  To him. It was more eloquent the night before when she was hallucinating.

As she pushed open the door to Sister Margaret’s, her eyes stopped aching and she was able to take her sunglasses off and slide them into her purse. She took a seat in one of the booths and pulled out her phone to pass the time. Domino slid in on her other side and checked her shoulder.

“Heya, Darce.”

“Hey,” she replied, smiling weakly.

“Oh, you’re hungover,” her friend exclaimed. “Told you that you shoulda let me come along. I never get hungover.”

“Yeah, I’ll remember that for next time,” Darcy groaned.

By that time, everyone had filed in, and Wade had started talking. (He had a visual aid in the form of a dry erase board with a marker that squeaked more than it wrote)

The squeaking was grating on her poor headache and she looked up from her phone to see Axel seated directly across from her, his eyes on the board, but his lip between his teeth.

He bit down until the skin went white, and when he released it, it flushed red again.

Fuck. She might have a headache, but that was still hot as hell.

He ran his tongue over the place where he’d bitten and cut his eyes back to her, locking on her gaze and winking. He had his phone in his hand as well, texting something without looking at the screen.

Her phone buzzed in her hand as his message appeared at the top of the screen.

Frowning hurt, but she did it anyway as she quickly scrambled to check it.

“Is it when I bite it like that, or is there another way I’m not aware of?” It was followed by a winky face and she could have sworn all the blood drained from her face as she quickly checked her call log, her stomach dropping down to her toes when she did.

It wasn’t a hallucination.

She’d actually called him.

And told him she wanted to bite his lip for him.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Another text came through. “Calm down, D. I like it when you’re trying to hack in somewhere and you’ve got that look on your face like you’re trying to read Esperanto. Fucking hot as hell, babe.”

She flushed bright red then, glancing up at his face and then back down at her phone because she liked that even more than when he bit his lip.

“And you will meet up after this meeting to bang out your problems,” Wade said suddenly. “Now if you two are finished eye-fucking each other, can we get back to---“ He tapped the board with his fingers.

“It’s the same basic setup as before, except you need all new fake IDs from me because you guys blew all your covers last time,” she paraphrased. “I’ve got it.”

“Yeah well, let Axel live, will ya? How’s he supposed to pay attention so he doesn’t acid-puke on every single person and blow our covers again if you’re over there being adorable?”

“I acid-puked on one person, and it only damaged their shoes,” Axel retorted. “You blew our covers by not remembering the names on our IDs. Now, having said that...” He turned to Darcy, smirking a little. “You really should let me live, babe.”

Domino rolled her eyes. “Now, I’m going to puke.”

#Acidtaser #Darcy x Zeitgeist #Zeitgeist x Darcy #Darcy Lewis #Zeitgeist #Axel Cluney #Darcy x Axel #Axel x Darcy #Darcy/Zeitgeist #Zeitgeist/Darcy #Axel/Darcy #Darcy/Axel #Flower Language Prompts #orange #meilan firaga #my writing

[socialistsooner420]

that ace recognition post really got to me. and i just want to say in addition to ace inclusion, we really need nb inclusion.

i always feel so weird about being a non binary asexual in a "heteronormative" relationship because i feel like people just assume that im straight and a girl and it drives me nuts. and i see where they can gather assumptions, but to deny it once corrected is absolutely sickening to me.

i dont mind being called a girl, i mean i kinda do, but i stopped caring. my appearance really plays the most into that. ive got long thick hair (havent had a haircut in 7 years) and a fem face, and i do like "girly" aesthetics such as pink/iridescent/pastels, but i cant help what i find visually appealing. just how i cant help that i just dont really care about sex or have a drive for it. and being told that im a "cis girl" because i like "cis girl" aesthetics is SUPER disorienting from people who want to break "gender norms". it feels like if anything, they should be on the side of someone who conforms to no gender and just LIKES THINGS. NBS SHOULD BE THE DANG POSTER CHILDREN FOR DESTROYING GENDER NORMS! we literally just EXIST and LIKE WHAT WE LIKE REGARDLESS OF WHATEVER GENDER SOMETHINGS MARKETED TOWARD!!!!

growing up, when i was a kid, i saw a lot of graphic things i shouldnt have. including a lot of sexual imagery/nudity/sex scenes in movies. it always made me feel uncomfortable and gross. still does to this day!! but the pressures of growing up in a society that normalizes the sexuality of children, i felt like i had to replicate the same things i saw that made me so uncomfortable. i got into terrible situations where i was just goaded into having sexual relations just because the guys i was with didnt believe me and oh my god that "ill make ya change yr sexuality ;)" quote hit me so fucking hard i almost puked, recognizing the exact thing that was quoted to me right down to the fuckin winky face. it churns my stomach knowing i caved into their pressures, simply due to the implications that might happen to me if i didnt. they were usually my ride home, i didnt have a car and would stupidly agree to hang out with someone at their house. how STUPID of me to think that i was coming over for some platonic friend time, why didnt i even consider the fact that all they wanted to do was fucking "touch the untouchable"

when i was 18, i went out with a frat boy. i look back on this relationship with such disgust for so many reasons, but the absolutely sickening thing was when i found out after we broke up, he only dated me on a "dare" from one of his frat bros. the dare? "have sex with the girl who says she's asexual". fucking disgusting.

and to be told by other nb/trans folk that "im just a girl playing pretend" really gets on my nerves. i get it enough from straight people, and its extra disappointing to hear from lgbt+ people who should understand the struggles of having strangers invasively doubt and question your sexual behavior as if its their business. another thing thats no one's business? im a never nude. im uncomfortable with the human form. especially mine. ive always wished that i were just a plastic doll with no genetalia. that plays a BIG part in my asexuality and my non binary identity because, well, DUH, i wish i had no sexual/reproductive organs so i would have a "legitimate reason" to NOT HAVE TO HAVE SEX.

ive had people doubt my asexuality simply based on the fact that ive got a "cis" (but also non male conformative) boyfriend, that somehow invalidates my asexuality. it drives me insane. just because im in a happy relationship doesnt mean we gotta fuck?????? i mean it happens but definitely not as much as a "normal" couple does (god that sickens me just to have to imply our relationship is "abnormal).

im a sex-repulsed ace, but as much as my parter respects MY sexuality (not forcing me into sex even though i dont want it) i also respect HIS sexuality and we'll have sex on occasion. and as sex-repulsed as i am, it's tolerable because he's RESPECTFUL because he KNOWS and RESPECTS it.

i cant even count on both hands and feet how many times ive said that im asexual and have heard "oh so u reproduce by yrself?" "oh so youre like a plant" "oh well you'll NEVER find a partner like that" and after being established in this relationship with my fiance, hearing people say "ah so yr not asexual anymore i see!" is sickening. its not like a switch. im asexual. i have 0 interest in sex.

my fiance is a cis male. hes heterosexual but also recognizes that i dont identity as a female. and hes OK WITH THAT!!!!

its just astounding how he is able to understand and respect it, yet so many people try to trash on both aces and nbs, especially from the lgbt+ community themselves, the people that should understand and respect that already.

idk man. rant over that post just really got to me and legit made me cry.

#txt #asexuality #ace inclusion #nb inclusion

[bookishable]

goblet of fire book moments

‘the riddles all appeared to be in perfect health—apart from the fact that they were all dead.’

ron, hermione, hagrid and sirius sending harry food and birthday cakes over the summer so he would have enough to eat

“she did put enough stamps on, then”

“we’ve been hearing explosions out of their room for ages, but we never thought they were actually making things, we thought they just liked the noise.”

percy: we’re trying to sTAnDaRdiSe cAuLdRoN tHiCkNeSs ron: that’ll change the world, that will

arthur trying to light a fire at the world cup and ron being like but we’ve got an oven

YOU BUST SLUG

the guy named archie wearing a dress because he thought it was regular muggle clothing

ludo bagman existing

crouch calling percy “weatherby”

“oh, shut up, weatherby”

the quidditch world cup actually happening and being amazing

“you can speak english! and you’ve been letting me mime everything all day!” “vell, it vos very funny”

fred and george predicting the quidditch match score and earning all the money they bet back

“if the hogwarts express crashed tomorrow, and george and i died, how would you feel knowing that the last thing we ever heard from you was an unfounded accusation?”

harry ‘would willingly have split all the money in his gringotts vault with the weasleys’ <3 my boy is precious

the visual of mrs weasley giving amos diggory a piece of toast through the fire where his head was

“it would’ve been so easy to push malfoy off a glacier and make it look like an accident… shame his mother likes him…”

hermione not eating at the first feast in aid of house elves and ron waving puddings at her: “hermione gave him a look so reminiscent of professor mcgonagall that he gave up.”

dumbledore: the triwizard tournament will be taking place at hogwarts this year fred: you’re JOKING dumbledore: i am not joking, but i did hear an excellent one over the summer about a troll, a hag and a leprechaun who all go into a bar— mcgonagall: *clears throat loudly*

blast-ended skrewts

harry: why have i got two neptunes ron: *imitating trelawney* when two neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, harry

“has your mother always looked like that, or was it just because you were with her?”

CONSTANT VIGILANCE

‘telling neville what professor sprout had said, harry thought, had been a very tactful way of cheering neville up, for neville very rarely heard that he was good at anything. it was the sort of thing professor lupin would have done.’

harry and ron’s made-up divination predictions that foreshadow the rest of the book

S.P.E.W

“excuse me, i don’t like people just because they’re handsome!” ron gave a false cough which sounded oddly like ‘lockhart’

ron: that’s not a normal girl, they don’t make them like that at hogwarts harry: *looking at cho* they make them ok at hogwarts hermione: wHeN yOu’Ve bOtH pUt yOuR EyeS bAcK iN

“we all know professor moody considers the morning wasted if he hasn’t discovered six plots to murder him before lunchtime”

hermione bringing harry some toast and taking him on a walk at breakfast so he wouldn’t have to face ron and the rest of the gryffindors

“ah, this is nice and cosy.” it was a broom cupboard. harry stared at her.

rita: i hope you saw my piece over the summer? dumbledore: i particularly enjoyed your description of me as an obsolete dingbat

charlie weasley existing

“there are switching spells… but what’s the point of switching it? unless you swapped its fangs for wine gums or something”

moody: play to your strengths harry: i haven’t got any moody: excuse me

trelawney telling harry that he was in danger of a sudden, violent death: “well that’s good, just as long as it’s not drawn out, i don’t want to suffer”

“no, i’m fine,” said harry, wondering why he kept telling people this, and wondering whether he had ever been less fine.

‘he wouldn’t have cared if karkaroff had given him zero; ron’s indignation on his behalf was worth about a hundred points to him.’

“yeah, you can have a word, goodbye.”

“i thought it sounded a bit like percy singing… maybe you’ve got to attack him while he’s in the shower”

CANARY CREAMS

ron giving dobby his christmas jumper

harry and ron having a sword fight with the fake wands

harry: i don’t dance mcgonagall: oh yes you do

harry: why do girls have to move in packs? how do you get one on their own? ron: lasso one

“ron, can we borrow pigwidgeon?” “why?” “because george wants to invite him to the ball”

“harry—we’ve just got to grit our teeth and do it,” said ron, in a tone that suggested they were planning the storming of an impregnable fortress.

ordering food at the yule ball feast by telling the plate what they want to eat

“when i went back to investigate, i discovered that the room had vanished. possibly it is only accessible at five thirty in the morning—or when the seeker has an exceptionally full bladder.”

“nice socks, potter”

snape: what are you doing? ron: we’re walking. not against the law, is it?

“i wouldn’t come near you with a ten-foot broomstick”

harry calling rita skeeta a cow and dumbledore being like “i have gone temporarily deaf and haven’t any idea what you said”

aberforth dumbledore being mentioned to have been prosecuted for practising inappropriate charms on a goat

“never be ashamed,” my dad used ter say, “there’s some who’ll hold it against you, but they’re not worth botherin’ with.” someone hold me i’m crying

“just go down to the lake tomorrow, stick your head in, yell at the merpeople to give back whatever they’ve nicked and see if they chuck it out. best you can do, mate.”

‘hermione seemed to be taking the library’s lack of useful information as a personal insult; it had never failed her before.’

“your wheezy, sir! the thing harry potter will miss most!”

dumbledore speaking mermish

‘ron and hermione both gave harry half-exasperated, half-commiserating looks.’ honestly if this isn’t a summary of the series idk what is

ron: i could’ve taken those mer-idiots any time hermione: what were you going to do, snore at them?

sirius “fulfilling his duty as godfather” by sleeping in a cave and living off rats to be near harry

“if you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”

referring to sirius as ‘snuffles’

winky: you is nosing dobby: harrypotterisbraveandnobleandharrypotterisnotnosy!!!

NIFFLERS

“aren’t you two ever going to read hogwarts: a history?” “what’s the point? you know it off by heart, we can just ask you.”

harry and cedric uniting in their indignance at the hedges for the third task growing all over the quidditch pitch

bagman: shall i wait for you harry? harry: no it’s ok, i think i can find the castle on my own, thanks

trelawney: if you leave you may lose the opportunity to see further than you have ever— harry: i don’t want to see anything except a headache cure

dumbledore saying madame maxime is “a very able headmistress—and an excellent dancer”

“i didn’t see madame maxime anywhere, though, and she’d have a job hiding, wouldn’t she?”

“curiosity is not a sin, but we should exercise caution with our curiosity…”

harry: but the task’s not until tonight! *spills scrambled eggs* mcgonagall: i’m aware of that, potter

harry expecting the dursleys to turn up for the third task and it turns out to be mrs weasley and bill and they spend the day wandering around the castle

harry working out the sphinx’s riddle and being ‘amazed at his own brilliance’

“you fail to recognise that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!”

‘he had no memory of ever being hugged like this, as though by a mother.’

“what’s comin’ will come, an’ we’ll meet it when it does.”

“cedric was a person who exemplified many of the qualities which distinguish hufflepuff house: he was a good and loyal friend, a hard worker, he valued fair play. his death has affected you all, whether you knew him well or not.”

“we are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.”

“we can fight only by showing an equally strong bond of friendship and trust. differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.”

hermione keeping rita skeeta in a jar and blackmailing her to not write any more stories after she found out rita was an unregistered animagus

harry giving fred and george all his triwizard winnings because he’s the kind boy he is

#i started this series a while ago but i reread gof last so i’ll be able to post the rest sooner #this book has some of the best lines the film really didn’t do it justice #hp book moments #goblet of fire #harry potter books #harry potter quotes #hp textpost