#”MOTHER CANNOT SEE US HERE”

[floralcavern]

THE FACT THAT WHEN ACHILLES LEARNED HIS MOM CAN’T SEE HIM ON THE MOUNTAIN, HIS FIRST INSTINCT IS TO SLEEP WITH HIS BEST FRIEND.

#The Song of Achilles #TSOA #Achilles #Patroclus #patrochilles #”MOTHER CANNOT SEE US HERE” #“AYO PATROCLUS MY MOM ISNT HOME” #Thetis #AND THEN HE WAS SHOCKED THAT PATROCLUS WAS ACTUALLY WILLING TO DO IT??? #“I did not think we would ever—“ #WDYM YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOUD SLEEP WITH HIM??? #HE LITERALLY KISSED YOU??? #YOU WERE THE ONE WHO RAN AWAY YOU DUMB BOTTOM #Plato is rolling in his grave

[flareboi]

what if purple never calls him dad

#what if the word ‘dad’ is something purple doesn’t like. #what if it carries a bad connotation for them and a bitter reminder for mango. #family doesnt always have to look like one thing yknow? i dont think those two would have a traditional dynamic in that way #maybe purple does consider him their parent. they just dont call him ‘dad’ unless its in third person #and theyre fine with that and so is he #king is his father figure yes but he’s also a mom. a big brother. a sister. their dynamic just isnt captured in purple calling him ‘dad’ #maybe his name is the best way they can say it. the best way they can appreciate him #because for purple a father is someone who hurts you. someone who leaves you #i think ‘purple calls him dad on accident’ is a cute idea #but honestly it would make more sense if they called him mom on accident instead. or if it happened when they were afraid. not comfortable #(this is presuming orchid is his mother and navy his father based on the pronouns used in the react vids iirc) #because why would purple refer to someone he sees as a parent with the title of the one that presumably did not raise them? #and on mangos end #i think u can kinda tell who in this fandom has never lost a loved one in how they characterize him #guys. grief doesnt leave. it never leaves. #you just learn to live with it!!! #mango is not okay just because he has a new kid to take care of. i would know this my bio mom passed and i have a stepmother!!! #she does not fill that void and i do not expect her to because it cannot be filled. but she brings a lot new to ease the pain and is a #wonderful part of my life #the same thing here #mango will never ever just .. go back to how he was #he will never be the same since gold died. and thats okay #purple will not change that. they will merely add something new #their dynamic can be beautiful and nontraditional and a showing of how grief can change you #it doesnt have to be ‘replacement dad and replacement son’ #its so much more #oke. tag rant over #fett rambles #ava #uhh should i tag the chars

[1overbaby]

Just had a dream and all i heard on repeat was: how am i gonna question myself when i saw it and know i saw it?

#will expand on this later if i want to but essentially this was on repeat in my mind in my dream #seeing is just imagination here. in my dream it was because i had an image of it. and so the main thing i was hearing: u just imagined it. #so u know u have it. how can u question urself? u just saw it. so u must know it #its this acceptance. and it is #how things have manifested before. perhaps always. in my life recently #with my shoes for example that were about £130 i just saw myself wearing them and said ‘omg! now i own these shoes!’ and two days later #my mother took me shopping for shoes specifically. this has happened other times too #unconscious ones are more like - i see myself with them- and go ‘ah cool’ but it still materialises #seeing self with desire - cannot deny its possibility. its existence #mine #i used to think that its abt the knowing its going to reflect which is true u need it bc self concept. why wouldnt u have it in the world of #caesar too? BUT #its moreso the knowing u just had it. u just experienced it. u know u have it in imagination (which is why itll reflect as a byproduct)

[hua-fei-hua]

at church reading the hymn lyrics like "hey i learned that word from genshin!" and "hey i learned that word from genshin!" and "hey i learned that word from translating song lyrics so that i could write genshin fic!" and "hey i learned that word from genshin!" and finally "omg i learned that word from the king's avatar"

#花話 #it's funny bc i Objectively know more cn than the last time i was here seven years ago which is great #bc the last time i learned any cn in a classroom was seven years ago lol #and i think that's probably a combination of Very Much Not Wanting To Lose What Skills I Have +gnshn n similar giving me occasional practice #but yeah of the words i Remember where i learned them it's like 85% gnshn 14% lyric translation n 1% king's avatar lmao #been trying to connect my laptop to the mobile hotspot i have here and Suffering(tm)... pain and agonie #i mentioned this on main but apparently i just Cannot have a line acct for w/e reason #(i suspect it's bc i made an acct in america on my phone number but temp sim card --> diff phone number here) #(and since i didn't expect this i didn't tie the acct to an email --> i am unable to have line) #however my mother and i have graduated past emails and are now just using regular texting to communicate it seems #ANYWAY i get to see the jade cabbage today. i hope. and other things i also hope!! #i was going somewhere w/the line thing OH it's bc on the way home from church my mom saw a sign that said 元氣 and was like 'genki desu!' #it is always kind of a surprise to hear my mom speak jp bc it sounds simultaneously clumsy and full of confidence #she has friends in japan (college roommate + old pen pal + i have no idea she's lived Quite a life i feel) n i once found her old letters #and was kind of surprised bc they were like entirely in jp so obviously she could read n understand a lot #but anyway my mom went on to talk abt how taiwan continues to have significant japanese influence to this day n i was like yes... weebs c': #it's also interesting bc we'll go sightseeing n she'll be like “ye that's from american/jp occupation times but they gave back the land' #'so now it's xyz' n i'll be like. almost 'tails.jpg A Colonialism.'

[blackwaxidol]

"A desk would fix me" is such a simple but truthful declaration... I see it, the end is in sight...

Lumbar support...

#I'd need to physically go to IKEA for it... Mother insists we see desks and chairs in person... #So I will reaffirm that tomorrow I suppose. #It would be nice to have a desk where I can file relevant information. #And have my drawing tablet on and such. #Effectively I envision productivity from it. #Using my laptop as I currently am is going to turn me into the Joker if it hasn't already. #I don't know why I am thinking about this currently... #It just seems like an obvious solution to me. #When I categorise the source of many woes. #I want a desk so I can do remote work more efficiently. #So I can do online school maybe... #And lessen the sense that I am disappointing my mother. Giggles. #I have some kind of attachment problem regarding her I realise. #Not sure how to solve that imminently. Like most things I see it as several steps in a distant future that I will realise. #It will start with... getting a desk. #I think I need to decorate my room before getting a desk. #When we first moved here my mother for whatever reason thought putting the bed in first made the most sense. #Your honour we cannot wallpaper that wall because of it ❤️ #I am rambling... My body temperature is absurd so I am boiling alive. #delete later. #Goodnight everyone. Again. #Mwah. Or meow. Meows at you...

[bevydev]

Small rant underneath

Challenge for my mom:

Stop talking about my sister like she's is some ungrateful wild child who ran off on her own instead of someone who was denied any ability to grow and live her life because of your suffocating expectations that eventually succeeded in driving her off since there was no chance to make things better with you at home.

Level: impossible

#tw: rant #it honestly looks like I'll have to leave home one day and never explain my whereabouts #bc if i stay here Lord knows when this woman will ever let me go #she says she wants independence for me but in reality she wants a child who acts like her perfect adult puppet #that she can basically control like another version of her for life #i can't even see my sister because of my mother's selfishness and her refusal to see reason and yet she still blames both of us #for being people who just wanted the basic freedoms in life we were always denied #and adamantly went against my sister being in a relationship or living in her own as if it was some affront to both her and god #literally the cognitive abilities of a toddler: my mom cannot process anything beyond her own narrow-mindedness #this is why she's going to end not having neither of us in her life in the future but still be dumbfounded as to why

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

I swear I do not know how to be around my mother bc it’s always a toss up between oh my god get me out of here and wow there is no way you’re happy I’m so sorry

#i got my dad a bag of popcorn bc I passed his favorite popcorn place and when I gave it to him my mother came around like where’s my present #and like. she doesn’t just like things? i suppose she would’ve liked something from bath and body works bc I got a bunch of stuff from there #but like. she’s not someone who I can necessarily be like hey look at this thing I got for u #she’s a very confusing person. and I don’t usually get along with her when I live with her. when I don’t I get along with her very well #but then I also feel bad when I don’t from time to time bc she’s got to be incredibly lonely #like I kind of wish I would’ve gotten her something?? but like. she just doesn’t really like things #she’s the kind of person who I’ve given her things and she keeps them on her desk but also just goes oh thanks #I don’t think she’s a fan of things u use and then they’re gone but those r the only things I know how to give #i suppose I could get flowers or something #i think she’d like that #yeah maybe I’ll go do that #shout out to tumblr journaling service for always neatly organizing my thoughts into coherent actions <3 #see this is why I simply cannot live without telling all y’all my business #my soup talks posts r important not necessarily for events but just bc I will stew in thoughts and do nothing #but bc I post things here I have to make them make sense and also have direction or else I end up with 3 of these in a row #clear and concise thoughts here make for actions I can act upon later outside of tumblr #soup talks

[treecakes]

i feel like as of late my mother is constantly looking for an argument like she hyperanalyzes everything i say or do and she keeps claiming that i think she’s a terrible person and i hate her and don’t want to be around her which. if she keeps this up then yeah i don’t want to be around her…. it’s exhausting!!! :/

#also she’s being very like. manipulative at the moment i have no clue what has changed recently but she’s so exhausting to be around i just. #don’t want to talk to her because she keeps trying to start shit or plays the victim card when i try to have a conversation with her #she keeps twisting my words or literally putting words in my mouth or just flat out ignoring what i say #which is so frustrating!! she 100% believes she’s in the right too she cannot see how insane she’s being at the moment #she literally called me abusive the other day because she asked why i was being a little cold towards her and i explained that she has been #a little touchy lately so i haven’t wanted to talk that much #and she claimed that i was turning the blame onto her which is ‘classic abusive behavior’ apparently #and she keeps comparing me to my father who is an actual literal abuser he was abusive towards all of us like maam. are you fucking kidding #me right now. anyways i need to get out of here!!!! why are none of the adults in my life normal!!!!! #my one aunt whom i love dearly she’s like a mother to me also is the only normal person here

[readymades2002]

it is very frustrating because my mom does not know What The Deal Is but she certainly Suspects (for good reason. to be fair to her.) and she has Insinuated and she has Implied but she has not asked anything specifically. and its...not unreasonable for her to do this i guess because the last relationship i was in i didn't tell her for a year and a half. because the relationship BEFORE that was my first and it was with a girl and i asked her EXPLICITLY AND URGENTLY to not tell my dad about it because he was a massive homophobe and i knew this and saw this where she did not and she told him anyway and i have not trusted her since though, having few other options, i have continued to confide in her things that i should not confide in her that have then mysteriously made their way through all our shared coworkers back to me. and its.....its so. i don't know what to do about it. she..."stalked" is the wrong word but she followed my blog against my wishes and knowledge as a child and the more i lost trust in her and stopped talking to her the more she pried into my private life. i know my sister had similar experiences with her. and it has created this cycle where i keep trying to keep her out for my own privacy and dignity and safety and she just gets even more desperate and pathetic trying to get in after breaking my trust over and over and OVER again but i live with her and depend on her for far too many things and so it just. is this. awesomesauce

#have talked about it a bit with a few people and its...difficult? #i have always felt like i was the person standing between my parents when my dad was at his worst #and as kind of like. someone who failed to protect my family from him #and the last few months ive started recognizing patterns where 1) when my parents were united #was when there was a common threat and that common threat was ALWAYS me and my insanity. which feels. bad #and 2) my mother had no one to talk to about the horrific shit he said and so often ended up relaying #some of the worst things youve ever heard to me and my sister very conversationally #every thing he said about me that haunts me i heard when she told me and then went 'ha! isnt that so stupid he would say that?' #like. i guess its. she was a...i hate using it here but a Victim in thatsituation but im also starting to learn #that she was also a collaborator. and that she failed to protect us or take care of us often because she was scared of him #or sometimes because she agreed with him or hated/resented us or whatever. its. um #it is difficult. and every time i try to change and talk openly around her instead of being passive aggressive as i learned from her #she responds in the same guilt trippy icy way and says i am pissy or i think too black and white or do i think shes a bad person #and so i cannot...i cannot grow with her because it HURTS. every time. and ive just kind of...found it harder and harder to talk to her #at all. and her pain fills the apartment because she sees it happening. and it makes coming back here every day #even more unbearable even more crushing and i don't know what to do about it #it has been so weird. ive been trying to...change and grow. to be Real. to be truthful and to communicate well #for my friends and coworkers and family and i feel i've come so far sometimes #and then when it comes to her i just don't know how to do it because i don't trust her. #and when i try it only hurts both of us and i can't explain that to her because she WILL take it personally and she #she...everyone is capable of change. i believe that. to be alive is constant changing. but she refuses. #when she asked me if i thought she was a bad person she answered her own question going 'i dont think so. #i think you see things so much more black and white than i do and you're so easily offended and sensitive. i think im a good person' #not in a...not in a combative way but in a sincere way. and its like. i dont think i even responded i was fucking flabbergasted #where do you even GO from a statement like that lmao!!! god. its so frustrating. it is so so so fucking frustrating

[running-in-the-dark]

went to bed early and woke up before 8am today! pretty cool. except I woke up with a bad headache and eventually had a very long nap.

I'm just so damn tired! like, no matter how much or how well or when I sleep, I'm still tired all day. so it's just pointless trying to fix my sleep schedule (when I'll just be asleep most of the day anyway).

#and also. #my mother in law just very sternly told us to fold our clothes after washing them #for some reason she just. started washing our clothes when we got here. no one asked her to. she didn't ask us. just did it #and then acts like it's such a burden. yes and no one asked you to do it 🤔 #anyway no I will not be folding my damn clothes because they are going right back in an ikea bag because there is nowhere else to put them #we have one tiny wardrobe in 'our' room and there's lots of things that have to go in there so that the cats don't eat/destroy them #and. I am so fucking tired all the time no folding my clothes (to put them right back in a bag) is not a priority right now #guess what? our clothes usually stay in a laundry basket until we wear them (bc I don't have the energy and my husband just doesn't care 🤷) #it's not an issue. we are adults. we don't wear fancy shit that would look awful and wrinkly. our t-shirts will be fine. #I don't know man. it's only been a week and I already feel like peeling off my skin because of how she is #genuinely I cannot handle being treated like this. I couldn't handle it when I was an actual child and I sure as fuck can't handle it now #I don't know why I thought this would be fine. why did I let him convince me that she'd be different this time. #I know it's no big deal! she's just so judgmental and mean about everything. like the most inconsequential shit #like - last week on the day my husband worked from home he took a few breaks. as he normally does. obviously. #and she kept telling him to go back to work??? what the hell man he's a fully grown adult who has been working for years and at this #particular job for over a year. HE knows when he can take a fucking break. #like. she's never joking. she never says something casually. it's always serious and judgmental and negative. #I feel like I'm suffocating #anyway. only 49 days left. I can do it. I can get through this (knowing that I won't have to see her/them more than a few times a year afte #we move) #(I feel like an ungrateful piece of shit bc it IS very kind and generous that they are letting us live here for free for two months. and I #am grateful! but it's just not good for me mentally. that's all I'm saying. the problem is me.) #personal

[tardis--dreams]

Wow it's great to imagine that one week from now I'll already have 4 hours of my 14 hour flight behind me ♡

#please deliver onto me the sweet relief of death i crave #but i started looking at it more positively #that's 14 hours of not having to do Anything #my usual lifestyle but no need to feel guilty #just sit around and watch my silly little shows or stare into the void without feeling bad for not living my life any better #i mean sure. it would be much more pleasant if i wasn't trapped with so many other people in a giant tube that i cannot get out of #and if i could walk around or lie down #but i guess this is fine too #korean air wasn't too uncomfortable on my flight here so i guess it won't be too bad #i just keep worrying about this for no reason #why worry about being sleep deprived and having to stay awake for ~40 hours if there's nothing i can do about it anyway #it's nothing i haven't done before either. I'm a pro at being utterly exhausted and traveling #i just really hope the flight isn't delayed and i can get a fucking train home once we've landed #(arguably the more concerning part. DB is already stressing me out and i can see a complete breakdown of the whole public transportation #system because of DB around christmas. but this is fine. no use being worried about it. if all else fails I'll spend the night at the #airport and try to book a bus on Saturday that gets me as close to my hometown as possible so my mother can pick me up somehow) #void screams

[wearenotjustnumbers2]

I'm sorry for the cruelty of this picture, but I couldn't see Amina and not share her story. Trigger warning: eye injury (bloody eyes).

Amina Ghanem, 13 years old, says: We were sleeping and we heard the sound of tanks when they came and walked over the caravan in which I, my father and my siblings lived. The tank squeezed us inside the tin all night, and we were ran over, until the morning. And when they finally let us out, I found that my father and my little sister have been killed. Now we've been brought here.

She tells her story in this video with her little brother beside her. They're all on their own. Their mother is outside of Gaza and cannot get in or get them out. They have no way of communication, their father and sister are killed.

The eyewitness of Genocide.

#let her eyes be a forever reminder of the horrors Palestinian have to endure and witness #her voice in contrast of her eyes... it's absolutely heartbreaking #how will they survive this genocide when they're all alone? How is their mother functioning having no clue about her family #palestine #gaza #israel #important #current events #free palestine #ethnic cleansing #free gaza #gaza strip #gaza under attack #video

[valandherweekofwonders]

i just want to stop feeling suicidal so constantly and i want to stop having my paranoia spirals and i want to have peaceful sleeps without night terrors and i want to feel safe in my body and in my own space and i want to eat and i want to not be so overwhelmed by my psychosis and i want to be over everything that kennedy did to me but i also really wish i could contact him again so i could deck him in the fucking face and then i call c and ask her what the fuck why the fuck did she do that and beg beg beg my family to leave the church that is so clearly harming them and dooming them to tragedies.... and so on...

#why did i write about that pregnancy why did i use my abuse for an assignment why did i delve into these memories such a mistake #whenever i remember it happened im like oh my god i could have had a 9 year old maybe i did want to be a mother #maybe i am suffering now bc i was supposed to be doomed to the same narrative like most women in my community #like maybe it was a fluke that i got here bc i don't fit in i hate myself so much i feel like everyone hates me and wants me dead and gone #if i knew any of their numbers still i would ask for ativan again i cannot fucking sleep my anxiety is never ending #i cannot tolerate the weight of the emotions i want to be numb i want to be high i want to be dissociated again #i broke out of my constant dissociation and now im here and i can feel my feet on the ground and i am living pov and it hurts so bad #i want to be in the arms of my best friend i want to be on her floor stroking the fuzzy carpet while we eat penne together #ever since she came back into my life i am so happy i have that anchor again but oh my god it makes me realize how distant i am from everyo #and how little i trust #i also miss my other best friend that i never get to see but i want to hug them tightly and we never have enough time w each other but ever #moment is so vivid and strong and they make me feel so alive and aware of the world we are in and its such a blessing that they decided to #talk to me the day they did and the friendship that came after like idk #i dont have many close friends but oh god the few i have i love th #them so much and they make life worth living but ugh yeah im fighting voices and spirals and theres a lot happening inside #ill be fine i have a lot of feelings my life is nonstop chaotic bc i have 5 bpd/bipolar women in my family and all emotionally absent men a #and our narratives weave together so close so tightly i cannot separate myself but i want to but can i? do i want to? #ezra.txt

[m-elshaer038]

urgent : please if you can help don't hesitate If you can't, share the link and I will be very grateful to you

I am Muhammad Al-Shaer from Gaza. I am approximately 23 years old, and like any young man in the world at this age, I am nearing the end of my university and the beginning of the formation of my professional life.

At this age, I only had 18 hours left (less than a year), and I graduated from university with a very good grade, and I had my own house, and I was working in the field I was studying (software engineering.)

As they say, at the age of 23, I have passed halfway or more until the time came that destroyed all these things, destroyed all of my dreams, and destroyed all of these plans.

After October 7 (with the beginning of the war in Gaza,) our entire lifestyle changed. Unfortunately, I stopped studying and I did not finish my university (I did not obtain my degree.)

With the power outage and the internet outage, I stopped working and completely forgot about my field. The biggest disaster that befell us was that my house, my brother’s house, and my family’s house were completely destroyed I became without a degree, job, or home (homeless in every sense of the word).

Since that day when we lost our home, I have seen the amount of sadness and distress in the faces of my family, especially my mother.

And every time our hearts bled, we felt sad for every part of this house. You can imagine this feeling as you see your family’s house and the house of your dreams being slowly destroyed before your eyes, and you can do nothing but pray to God only. The war has been going on for almost 6 months, and I did not think about taking refuge here on gofundme, but when my family and I lost the entire house, I had to create this donation, hoping for your generosity and understanding of the magnitude of the disaster that befell us here.

From a young man who has less than a year left to obtain his university degree, a comfortable job, and my own house, I thought about every detail when building this. To a person without a degree, job, or home, and unfortunately without dreams as well now.

After I lost everything I mentioned previously, which is almost everything I own, and logically all of this will be compensated with the passage of days, but I own something very beautiful that cannot be replaced at all, which is my family (my mother and my brothers )

And after I saw that this war was eating away everything green and dry, and burning everything in its path: people, dreams, and plans. So I thought about trying to get my family out of this war zone, in which not a single area is safe anymore, and every area is literally at risk of being killed at any time, unfortunately, and out of my fear for my family, here I created this link, and Bridget (the foreign Queen of Palestine) helped me a lot with it. Hoping in your humanity to help me get my family out so that I don’t lose them and lose the most beautiful thing I have in my life.

Unfortunately, to leave Rafah to Egypt, each person’s coordination requires $5,000

#fyp #gotham #crowdfunding #palestine #free palestine #gaza #free gaza #gaming #guide #popularblog #popularcultures #explore #trinding #tumbler #fypシ #gofundme

[blackwaxidol]

the kneejerk response, the idea or belief that when Israel as a state ceases to exist, that its settlers will become second-class citizens or outright killed is not only repetition of the same hysterical argument that has existed—yet never coming to pass—in other apartheid states but it is also indicative that the speaker has not been listening to what has been said over and over and over again by Palestinians, or perhaps that he refuses to listen entirely.

liberal or proclaimed leftists showing that they do not understand or support anticolonialism as much as they purport to be should not be unexpected, it is much easier for a person to lie back and say "oh yes i am of course an anticolonialist" without ever bothering to learn of what it is, because they believe it is simply a matter of common human decency and not an extensive history that must be learned from to be understood. the liberal believes many things for the sake of being courteous, rather than having any real interest in the matter. it is why they are shocked or appalled by its violence, and it is then that they will appeal to "both sides". the solution in such a mind as theirs is voting, or patience. anything else to them is barbarism. they are eager to buy lies about what is to them the wrong way of "going about things", so that they do not lose sleep at night.

#i hope this reads sensically. it unfortunately takes me a long time to read and write anymore. #other people have said this better than me. #i read a lot—i am attentive regardless of dissociative fugue—but i am not a very good talker. #i can tolerate a lot of misery. 7000 people murdered and yet people will refuse to see it or regard it in their minds. #it is a footnote they can pay no heed to. #i say i can tolerate a lot of misery because i come across people on here who proclaim they must blacklist for their own sake of mind. #if i can be a walking corpse of suicidal BPD mania for a week straight yet still bear close witness then so can you. #in likely less of an abysmal state than i. #i come here to say this at all because my mother cannot take much more of what i tell her. #the depravity haunts her and she tells me it is too much now. #we kept having conversations i didn't remember starting or finishing. my mind is pulled in a few different directions recently. #but regardless. i know she will talk about what i have told her. to her friends her clients et cetera. #and that is as much influence or usefulness i can hope to exert in my physical offline state. #i am vastly more talkative about matters offline because i have far more influence there by virtue of my mother who is #a rather well-liked woman. her talking will reach more people. #but i recognise by comparison this can make me seem grossly inattentive in my sort of silence. #and i am very sorry for that. #i want to correct something i said here but i don't know how. #''i can tolerate a lot of misery'' is not how i would like it to be read. #rather i do not compromise continued knowledge/awareness because i do not personally feel well. #i cannot look away from any of it and i cannot imagine attempting to justify doing so.

[darkshelbyfiction]

birthday gift

FOR: THOMAS SHELBY X VIRGIN READER

Warning: Somewhat Incestuous, Virginity Loss, Innocence Kink, Smut

Summary: You are Tommy Shelby's adult stepdaughter. On your birthday at Arrow House, he comes to your room and tells you that he has a special gift for you, but you cannot tell your mother about it.

Note: All Characters are over eighteen!

The ticking of the clock echoed softly in the dimly lit bedroom, marking the passage of time on your birthday night and marking it two years since you moved to Arrow House with your mother Sarah who now was married to Thomas Shelby, the infamous leader of the Peaky Blinders.

You lay curled beneath the sheets, your heart beating rapidly within your chest. You could not shake the uneasiness and excitement gnawing at your insides.

What did your stepfather mean when he wanted to give you a special but secret gift for your birthday, you wondered?

You remember how, over dinner, he leaned forward and stared at you intensely before finally saying, "I have something very special planned for tonight. Something you cannot tell your mother about." It left you feeling both curious and apprehensive at the same time.

But you couldn't resist him, not after all these years of seeing his intense gaze and admiring his muscular body. So, you agreed to meet him at midnight, in your private chambers, so that he could give to you whatever it was he wanted to give to you.

And now, here you were, lying awake in your bedroom, wondering what would happen next.

The sound of the door opening interrupted your thoughts. There he stood, dominant and enigmatic in his black pants and a shirt, a subtle smile playing on his lips. He closed the door gently behind him and crossed the room, his eyes never leaving yours.

"Hello, Sweetheart," he said softly, his voice carrying an undertone of warmth and reassurance. You felt your cheeks flush with embarrassment as he approached the bed.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, his large hands settling on your shoulders lightly as you too sat up, revealing your modest nightgown to him. 

With tenderness, he ran his fingers through your hair, his touch sending shivers down your spine.

"You said that you had something special planned for me tonight," you started nervously, trying to formulate your question. "Will I need to get dressed for that? Will you be taking me somewhere?" you asked, but Tommy shook his head. 

"That's right, sweetheart. I have something special planned for you, but it does not involve us leaving the house," he replied softly, his eyes still holding yours with their intensity.

"So, what do you have planned then, Tommy?" you asked curiously with your cheeks blushing in several shades of red and pink. 

"I want to make you feel really good Y/N, would you like that?" your stepfather announced. His voice dropped to a husky whisper, and an even deeper blush crept across your face as you nodded hesitantly. You knew deep down that something about this was wrong, but the thought of pleasing him as well as the attraction you felt towards him overwhelmed any doubts.

Tommy shifted closer, his arm wrapping protectively around your waist, pulling you against his firm body as, still, you were sitting next to him, just much closer now. 

"Has another man ever made you feel good down there?" he asked gently, running his fingers over the naked flesh of your thighs, all the way to the area beneath your nightgown.

You swallowed nervously, your cheeks reddening even further. You hadn't ever discussed such things with anyone before, especially not with a man like your stepfather. 

"No, no one," you admitted, finding yourself answering truthfully, your voice wavering slightly. "No, nobody has ever touched me there." You watched his expression change from curiosity to relief, his eyes searching yours for understanding.

"So, no one has ever touched your pussy, eh?" Tommy clarified, his voice gentle yet commanding. 

"No" you confirmed, feeling the nervousness building up inside you. You didn't quite understand why you were suddenly feeling anxious, but you realized that this was something different from the other experiences you had shared with your stepfather. You felt vulnerable, yet excited by the prospect of discovering new sensations together.

"Would you like me to touch your pussy?" Tommy then inquired gently, stroking your hair once more to calm your nerves. Your heart raced, and your palms grew clammy with anticipation.

Nodding timidly, you gave a hesitant, yet enthusiastic affirmative. Your eyes locked with his, conveying trust and eagerness.

"Good," he murmured, bringing his hand to your waist, his fingers grazing the smooth fabric of your nightgown. "It will feel nice, I promise," he told you as, with tender precision, he slid the fabric aside, exposing your delicate thighs to the cool air.

"Spread your legs a little, Sweetheart," Tommy said and, after you reluctantly complied, he slowly slipped his hand into your panties, his finger making contact with your virgin cunt.

"Relax," he cooed, placing a gentle kiss upon your forehead as he still sat next to you, gently touching your sensitive folds.

"There's nothing to be afraid of, Sweetheart. I won't hurt you. I will just make you feel good, eh?" His voice was reassuring, his touch tender, and you found yourself calming down under his guidance.

"Does it feel nice?" your stepfather then asked gently, his finger continuing to stroke your inner folds, evoking sensations you had never experienced before. You took a deep breath, closing your eyes, and focusing on the sensations coursing through your body.

"Yes, it feels strange but nice," you admitted softly, opening your eyes and meeting his gaze.

"Good girl," he reassured you, a warm smile on his face as he continued to run his fingers over your cunt gently before, finally, removing them and bringing them to his lips.

He tasted your essence and smiled. "See, you are already getting wet for me too," he said while using his soaked fingers to gesture towards your moistening panties. 

Your face flushed crimson, and you turned away from him, trying to hide your embarrassment.

"Why am I getting wet?" you asked quietly, feeling embarrassed.

"Because your body is responding to my touch Sweetheart. It wants more if it," he explained, his voice warm and comforting. "It's a natural reaction."

As he spoke, his hand continued to caress your inner thigh, drawing circles on your soft skin.

"Just relax and enjoy it," he advised gently, his tone reassuring as his fingers dipped back into your folds, gently circling and teasing your budding entrance. You moaned in response, your body relaxing slowly, giving into his touch. 

"Can I have a look at your pussy? I would really like to see it," Tommy eventually whispered into your ear, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine. 

"Okay, but just quickly," you nodded, taking a deep breath to steel yourself.

"Okay Sweetheart. How about you take off your nightgown and panties for me and lie down. I will only have a quick look, eh?" Tommy said, his voice filled with anticipation.

"Okay, Tommy," you replied, carefully removing your nightgown and panties as your stepfather had instructed.

Lying down on the bed, you felt exposed and vulnerable, but Tommy seemed to sense your discomfort. With his gentle touch, he lifted your leg onto his shoulder, positioning your entrance at eye level.

His eyes traced every curve and fold of your pink, wet flesh, a mix of desire and admiration flashing in his eyes. "This is beautiful," he whispered, his voice filled with awe.

Tommy then kneeled by your side and touched your wet folds again, his eyes hungry with desire.

"Can I have a look inside?" Tommy asked softly, leaning closer. Your eyes widened in surprise, but you nodded hesitantly, unable to say no to him. He gently placed his finger on your labia, testing your readiness. 

With two fingers, he then opened you up, exposing your inner flesh to his gaze gently by parting your lips and saying, "I am going to put one finger inside you now, Sweetheart," his eyes glazed over with lust. 

You trembled, a mixture of fear and arousal coursing through your veins. You felt the gentle pressure of his index finger as it pressed against your tight entrance, gradually working its way inside you.

"Is this alright, Love?" he asked, his voice full of concern. You nodded, trying to stay composed as the sensation of having something foreign inside you sent shockwaves throughout your body.

"Is this, okay? Can I go a bit deeper?" he repeated, making sure you were comfortable with his ministrations.

"Yes, it's fine. You can go a bit deeper I think," you replied, trying to maintain composure.

The feeling of your stepfather's finger inside you was both alien and enticing, sending waves of excitement coursing through your body.

"I can go even deeper if you wish, past your hymen," he offered gently, his fingers probing further within you. You hesitated, unsure of how far you were willing to go. "Only if you're ready," he added, assuring you of his care and respect.

"I don't know," you stammered, your breath catching in your throat while Tommy withdrew his finger from your wet folds.

"That's fine, Sweetheart," he said, before making another inquiry. "Perhaps I could kiss you down there for a while? That will help you relax," he said gently, leaning closer.

You hesitated, feeling torn between your instinctive response and your trust in him. Ultimately, you nodded hesitantly, allowing him to continue.

Soon, his lips brushed against your sensitive folds, exploring the terrain with his tongue. The sensation was foreign yet inviting, causing your breath to hitch in your throat.

"Do you like that?" he asked softly, his mouth lingering against your sensitive flesh.

"Yes," you breathed out, your heart racing as his touch became more intimate.

"Do you want more?" he asked gently, his thumb gliding along your sensitive folds, eliciting sensations you had never experienced before.

You nodded, tentatively giving in to his guidance. As his fingers teased and explored your inner depths, he positioned himself between your legs, his eyes seeking approval from you.

"I want to taste more of you, Sweetheart," he whispered, his eyes reflecting a mix of tenderness and hunger. You hesitated, feeling overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment.

"What should I do?" you asked, looking into his eyes for guidance.

"Just relax and let me make you feel good," he replied, his voice soothing. 

With gentle ease, he lowered his head and began kissing and suckling your most intimate parts, evoking sensations that sent ripples of pleasure through your entire being.

As he explored your folds with his mouth, you couldn't help but let out small cries of ecstasy, reveling in the novelty of the experience.

His tongue danced along your inner walls, evoking feelings you had never imagined possible. In that moment, you knew that you wanted more, craving the unique blend of pleasure and vulnerability that his touch provided.

"You are incredibly responsive," Tommy complimented you, the tip of his tongue darting across your sensitive flesh.

"It feels amazing," you confessed, your hands gripping the sheets tightly as you tried to hold onto the intense sensations coursing through your body.

"I didn't know it could feel like this," you whispered, your breath hitching in your throat. "And it makes me want more," you confessed, the words tumbling out of your mouth in a mixture of wonder and arousal.

Tommy pulled away slightly, his face filled with pride and satisfaction at having brought you to such heights of pleasure. "It is an incredible experience, isn't it?" he said softly, stroking your cheek with his hand.

"Yes, it is amazing Tommy. Is that what you do with my mum?" you asked, feeling a sudden burst of curiosity.

"No, we do things differently, Love" he assured you gently, his eyes reflecting a mix of love and respect for your mother. "But it's time for you to explore these sensations," he said, his voice warm and reassuring. His hand returned to your folds, his fingers gliding effortlessly through your wetness, teasing and pleasuring you. The sensations were unfamiliar yet intensely gratifying, causing your body to respond with increasing fervor.

"What do you do with her and the other women you visit?" you asked, your curiosity piqued by the intensity of the sensations he had brought forth in you.

"Well," he began, thinking of the right words to say before simply telling you straight-out, "I usually put my cock into their holes, Love." 

"Into here?" you asked, touching your cunt while feeling intrigued and yet nervous at the thought.

"Yes, Love. It goes in there sometimes, and it feels really nice when it is inside," he replied gently, his hand expertly moving your hand out of the way and stroking your folds as he talked.

"Would you like me to do this to you?" His question took you by surprise, sending waves of nervousness and curiosity coursing through your body. "I think you would enjoy it," he said, smirking slightly. 

"Uhm, I don't know Tommy. Can I see it first? Your penis, I mean," you said, your curiosity growing.

Tommy smiled, understanding your hesitation.

"Of course, Sweetheart," he replied, sitting up and undoing his trousers. He revealed his erect member, which was already dripping with precum. It stood tall and proud, causing your eyes to widen in surprise.

"It's big," you said, your eyes fixated on his impressive length.

"Not too big, just right for you," he replied confidently, his voice filled with pride. "I think you will find it pleasurable, if you let me put it into you." 

You looked up at him, still feeling uneasy but intrigued by the idea of experiencing something new. "Will it hurt?" you asked, a slight quiver in your voice betraying your apprehension.

"Only at first." He assured you gently.

Your eyes traveled from his erection to his face, searching for reassurance in his gaze.

"Okay, yes, you can put it inside me. But just for a little bit," you finally agreed, your voice wavering with uncertainty.

"Good girl. I will be gentle. Now, how about you lie down for me, eh?" Tommy suggested, helping you get into a more comfortable position.

You obeyed, lying down on your back, your breath coming in short gasps as you awaited his next move.

Tommy undressed quickly and then positioned himself between your legs, his eyes filled with desire as he looked upon his prize. He reached down and tenderly caressed your cheek, smiling reassuringly.

"Are you ready to become a woman, Sweetheart?" he asked, his voice deep and full of anticipation, and you nodded hesitantly, steeling yourself for the unknown journey ahead. 

Tommy positioned himself between your legs, his large member teasingly close to your entrance. Slowly, gently, he pushed inside you, guiding himself with careful precision. Your eyes widened in astonishment as he entered you, filling you with his presence. His gaze locked with yours, a mix of concern and adoration evident in his eyes.

You gasped, overwhelmed by the feeling of fullness, yet yearning for more. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes, both from the intensity of the sensation and the emotional weight of the moment.

"Am I hurting you?" Tommy asked gently, his own breath quickening in anticipation. "Yes," you replied, surprised by the intensity of the sensation, yet eager to continue. "But just a little. Please keep going," you urged, wanting to overcome the initial discomfort and fully embrace the sensations. Tommy nodded, his eyes softening with affection as he adjusted his position, ensuring maximum comfort for both of you.

"You are very tight, Sweetheart. Much tighter than your mother," he said appreciatively, his brow furrowing with concentration as he began to move inside you.

"It hurts a bit," you admitted, wincing as the sensation intensified. "Is it normal?" you asked, feeling both embarrassed and concerned.

"Of course, Sweetheart. It is normal. You have never done this before," he replied, his expression mirroring a mix of tenderness and understanding. "It's natural. Just take your time, and remember to breathe deeply, eh," he instructed, guiding you into a slow rhythm that helped steady your breathing.

"There, that's it. Let go of any tension, Love," he murmured, his voice soothing your nerves. With each thrust, you could feel the pressure gradually dissipating, replaced by a wave of unexpected pleasure. The feeling of fullness engulfed you completely, sending shivers down your spine.

Despite the pain, you found yourself becoming aroused by the intensity of the sensations.

Each movement by Tommy seemed to increase the pressure, pushing you closer to the edge of pleasure. Your body began to arch and writhe beneath him, craving the release of the building tension. Your moans filled the air, signaling your increasing need for fulfillment.

Tommy noticed your response and adjusted his pace accordingly, his movements becoming more deliberate and focused. The sensations intensified, igniting a fire within you that burned brightly. Your cries of ecstasy echoed throughout the room, causing your body to tremble in anticipation.

The pleasure was overwhelming, consuming you entirely. Your body convulsed underneath Tommy, unable to resist the urge to come. As the peak approached, you felt the world around you spinning, your vision turning black as your mind succumbed to the all-consuming bliss.

Finally, the climax came, washing over you in a tidal wave of pleasure. Your muscles contracted involuntarily, pulling Tommy deeper into you.

He groaned in satisfaction, his hands grasping your hips firmly until he could not hold it anymore. 

With a final surge of power, he gave one last thrust, coming deep inside you, his entire body shuddering with ecstasy. 

"What just happened?" you asked, your eyes wide with shock. Your body still trembled from the overwhelming sensations, your mind trying to process the experience.

"You just had your first orgasm," Tommy answered gently, his fingers gently caressing your cheek. "I am glad I could give that to you, Sweetheart."

"I didn't expect it to feel so good," you admitted, your voice still shaky from the intensity of the moment. "But I really liked it."

"I promised, didn't I, eh?" Tommy chuckled as he pulled out of you and with him came a thick stream of sticky liquid which ultimately leaked onto the sheets beneath you.

"What, uhm...what is that?" you asked, your eyes fixed on the fluid that had just come out of you when Tommy pulled his cock out of your cunt. 

"That's called cum, Love," Tommy explained gently, using a clean towel to wipe the excess fluid off your body. "It happens when a man orgasms. It's normal, so don't worry, eh."

He cleaned you thoroughly, making sure to remove any traces of his essence. He then wiped himself clean with a towel, disposing of it neatly in the bin.

"Now, Love, I think you should rest. I believe you have gone through quite an experience today," he said, his voice full of fatherly concern. "I want you to lie down and sleep for a few hours. And tomorrow, we will talk some more, eh?" Tommy said, planting a kiss on your forehead. "But remember, all of this needs to stay our little secret. Your mother cannot find out about this," Tommy reminded you, his voice stern and protective. "Promise me."

"I promise," you said solemnly, pledging your loyalty to the secret they were sharing.

"Good girl," Tommy replied, relieved. "Now, get some rest, Sweetheart." 

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