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alwaysachorusgirl · 3 years

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Playing Matchmaker

Pairing: Rafael Barba x Female Reader

Word Count: 2,028

Square: Blind Date

TW: none

Tagging: @thatesqcrush

A/N: Well, it took a massive re-write, but it’s done. This isn’t the story I originally started writing, but I’m okay with that. I like this version better. I like that it became more of an ensemble piece. And then there’s Janice. She’s named after Janice from the Muppets, and her personality is a combination of a few people that I know. She’s that friend who really cares and means well, but doesn’t always understand boundaries. And once I started writing her, it was hard to stop.

“Janice, can you please just knock it off already?”

You swallowed two ibuprofen tablets with a swig of your white chocolate mocha and rubbed your temples. As an SVU detective it was rare for you to have a Saturday off. You had agreed to meet your friend and neighbor Janice for coffee and breakfast. Everything had been fine until she had started sticking her nose into your love life, or lack thereof, and now you had a headache.

“But Y/N, Valentine’s Day is a few days away, and once again, you don’t have any plans. Come on, just let me set you up with someone. One more blind date isn’t going to kill you.”

“No, but I might kill you, “you shot back, glaring at your friend. “Look, I’m sorry, I know you mean well, it never works.”

“It might, if you ever gave one of them a chance,” She countered. “You’re the one who always bails after one drink.”

“I’m a detective, Janice, and a good judge of character. I can tell pretty quickly if a guy isn’t going to meet my standards. And besides, I hate Valentine’s Day. It’s not a real holiday, and it’s not worth me wasting my time and energy.”

“Damn, Y/N,” remarked Janice, “You’re too young to be that jaded and cynical.”

“I’m merely stating a fact, “you said with an exasperated sigh. “It’s not my fault if you can’t handle it.”

“What about your partner, that Italian guy? He’s cute.”

“Sonny?” You nearly spat out your drink. “He’s like my big brother. I think I’m technically an adopted Carisi sister, at this point.”

“Okay, so that’s a “no”. You mind if I ask him out?”

“Janice, no; he’s a good Catholic boy and I will not have you corrupting him.”

“Okay, okay, chill,” said Janice, sitting back and putting her hands up in defeat. “Oh! Wait! I know! What about that ADA you always hang out with? What’s his name…Raymond?”

“His name is Rafael, and he’s also a “no”. I don’t think he feels the same way about me, as I do him.”

“Aha! So, you do have your eye on someone!”

“Janice, please, just drop it already. I have a headache and I don’t want to talk about this right now. Can we please order food? I’m starving.”

******************

After breakfast, you bundled up and headed out into the February air. You knew that Janice was just trying to help, but sometimes she just didn’t understand the concept of boundaries. Your love life had been non-existent since you had caught your last boyfriend cheating red-handed. That had been two years ago. Rafael Barba had offered you his shoulder to cry on, knowing all too well the kind of pain and humiliation that you had been feeling. He’d gone from work colleague to one of your best friends after that, and at some point, you had developed romantic feelings for the handsome, Cuban ADA. But for the sake of your friendship and working relationship, you intended to keep that to yourself. It wasn’t worth taking the risk of losing him or making things weird between the two of you.

Your feelings for Rafael were also why all the blind dates never went anywhere. Some of your dates had been nice, others total douchebags, but they weren’t Rafael, and therefore, there was no point in the stringing them along. As long as you were comparing them up against the standard that was Rafael Barba, they could never measure up. You were fine with that.

**************************

Janice walked into the SVU squad room on Monday and breathed a sigh of relief when she didn’t see you. She wasn’t there to see you anyway. Instead she looked around and tried to find someone who looked like they worked with you.

“Excuse me, miss? You look a little lost. I’m Detective Amanda Rollins, Can I help you with something?”

Janice turned and smile at the blond woman with the Southern accent. She recognized the name right away.

“I think you can. I’m Janice Wilson. I’m a friend of Detective Y/F/N Y/L/N?”

“Oh, Y/N’s not here right now. I think she’ll back in about a half an hour?” Amanda paused. “What a minute…did you say Janice? Janice the Matchmaker?!”

“She’s mentioned me?” Janice’s eyes went wide.

“Oh honey,” said Amanda, “we know all about you. You’re kind of famous around here. Hey! Carisi! Finn! Get off your butts and get over here!”

“What?” Sonny called back from his desk, his mouth full of food. “It’s lunchtime, Rollins, I’m eating over here!”

“Yeah, Rollins, what’s the fuss?” Asked Finn, rising from his chair.

Amanda walked Janice a little further into the squad room.

“Guys, this is Janice, the Janice! You know, Y/N’s friend?”

“Wait, seriously? Janice the Matchmaker? Nice to finally put a face to the name,” said Finn, coming over and shaking Janice’s hand.

“Hey, we’ve met before. It was that one time at Y/N’s apartment, “said Sonny, finally putting down his sandwich and standing up. “You live down the hall. So, what brings you to SVU?”

Janice quickly filled them in the conversation from the coffee shop.

“So, the thing is, I’ve been getting it all wrong. If I had had known sooner about the ADA, I would have tried setting her up with him. I feel bad and I need to make this right with her. The problem is, I think she’s a little pissed at me, and she’s not going to listen to me. That’s where you guys come in. I have an idea, but I need your help.”

“Count me in, “said Amanda. “If anyone needs to get together, it’s Y/N and Barba.”

“I don’t know, Rollins, “said Sonny. “Isn’t this kind of going behind her back?”

“Carisi, have you seen the way they look at each other? Have you ever noticed how he’s less cranky when she’s around?”

“Yes, Rollins, I know, we all know! But she’s still my partner, and I gotta look out for her.” He looked at Janice. “If I agree to this, what exactly would I have to do?”

Janice motioned for everyone to come closer.

“Bring it in, folks, here’s the plan.”

*********************

When you came back from picking up warrants and getting lunch, everything appeared to be normal. Amanda and Finn were working at their desks. Sonny was nowhere to be seen, but that wasn’t exactly unusual. Any one of you could be called out on a case at any time. You took off your coat and sat down at your desk. You were just starting to dig into your lunch when Amanda got up and came over.

“Hey, you, just the person I wanted to see.” She flashed her best smile, and you immediately suspicious.

“Hi Amanda, what’s up?”

“Oh, I was just wondering if you had any plans for Valentine’s Day…”

“Amanda, you know that I don’t. What’s really going on?”

“Okay, so I know this guy. He also doesn’t have any plans for Valentine’s Day, and I think he might be a good fit for you.”

“Oh, dear God, are you seriously trying to set me up on a blind date?”

“Yes, I am. Look, I vouch for this guy. I wouldn’t try to set you up with someone that

I couldn’t vouch for, and he’s a nice guy. I think you’ll like him.”

“Fine,” you sighed, hanging your head in defeat. “But if this guy sets off even one red flag, I’m bailing.”

“That is totally fair,” agreed Amanda. “You would be disappointed, I promise.”

********************

Sonny walked into Rafael Barba’s office at 1 Hogan Place and hoped that he wouldn’t screw this up. He still couldn’t believe that he’s agreed to this, but Janice and Amanda had been so sure that this would work. He heard his phone ping in his coat pocket. He checked it and saw it was a text from Amanda. She had succeeded in getting you to agree to the blind date. Now he had to do his part. Rafael’s assistant, Carmen, was sitting at her desk.

“Hey, Carmen, he in?”

“Yes, but he’s prepping for court, so he’s in a mood. Don’t take up too much of his time, okay?”

“No problem, hopefully this won’t take long.” Sonny knocked the door and waited until he heard “Enter!”, before going in.

Rafael looked up and wasn’t thrilled to see the detective striding into his office.

“What do you want Carisi? I’m busy, and Y/N already came by earlier to pick up those warrants for Liv.”

“I’m actually here to ask you a question. What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?”

“The same thing I do every year, working,” replied Rafael, rolling his eyes. “Why do you ask?”

“I ask because I have this friend, and she is into you. I really think you’d like her, and she doesn’t have any plans for Valentine’s Day. So, I’m just trying to be a good friend and help her out…”

“You’re trying to set me up on a blind date with your friend? Are you kidding me right now?”

“No, no I most certainly am not. Come on, Barba, it’s one date. Trust me, you’re going to like her. She’s worth it.”

“Does this friend have a name?” asked Rafael, suddenly realizing that the detective wasn’t backing down without a fight.

“I can’t tell you that because it will ruin the surprise, but come on, what have you got to lose?”

**********************

And so, on Valentine’s Day, Rafael Barba found himself walking into a little French Bistro a few blocks away from Hogan Place. He still didn’t know his date’s name. All he had been told by Sonny was what she’d be wearing, that she was beautiful, and that he’d know her when he saw her. It was all a bit too vague for his tastes, but Sonny had insisted. So, the ADA had chosen the restaurant and made a reservation. He looked around, hoping to see someone that fit the description he’d been given. Instead, he saw you, sitting at the bar and nursing a glass of red wine. He made his way over to the bar, secretly wishing that he was meeting you instead of his date.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“Rafael!” You said, looking up in surprise. You got up and hugged your friend. He was warm and it felt so good to be wrapped up in his arms. He smelled of coffee and his cologne and it was nothing short of intoxicating. You probably held onto to him for a bit too long, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“Believe it or not, Amanda set me up on a blind date,” you told him, finally pulling away and sitting back down.

“Really? This is going to sound weird, but Carisi set me up on a blind date.”

“He did what? He didn’t tell me about that. Is it just me, or does it feel like something’s up?”

“Yes,” Rafael nodded, “Something is definitely up. Y/N, what color would you say your dress is?”

You looked down at your dress, and then back up at Rafael, thoroughly confused.

“I like to think of it as a cranberry wine,” you replied. “Why do you ask?”

“Carisi said my date would be wearing a cranberry wine-colored wrap dress, is beautiful, and that I’d know her when I saw her.”

Your eyes went wide as your thought back to what Amanda had told you about your date.

“Amanda told me that my date has green eyes, dark hair, is well-dressed, and that I’d know him when I saw him…” You trailed off, gazing into Rafael’s eyes, realization dawning on you. “It’s you. I’m so glad it’s you.”

“I’m glad it’s you, too,” said Rafael, taking your hand in his. “So, want to you say to having dinner with me?”

“I say ‘Yes’, nothing would make me happier. Just let me text Amanda real quick.”

Y/N: I’m going to kill you!

A. Rollins: Lol, that’s fine. Just make sure you say ‘thank you’ to Janice. She’s the brains of the operation. We couldn’t have done it without her.

#thatesqcrush vday bingo #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba #svu #svu fanfiction #rafael barba imagines #fan fiction #raul esparza

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frosty-the-killer-doll · 3 years

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Just Snowstorm Things

The Responsible Adult Couple

At first Caitlin doesn't want anything to do with him, but he's charming and funny. He seems to make it his mission to become best friends with all his co-workers. He doesn't seem to notice how every time he gets close, Cait's skin turns fucking red

One time He asks her out and Caitlin instantly agrees. She dressed up all cute and he takes her to some random carnival. He then keeps flirting with almost everyone there, and Cait realizes that this is a friend-date. She gets frustrated with the both of them and quickly, determinedly asks him out on a "specifically-romantic-type date." He's pleasantly surprised and happy to attend!

Casually affectionate

They started getting serious early on in the relationship. He moved in barely a few months after they decided to make it official

He popped the question when they were on a trip (the very one she mentioned when meeting Cisco)

They live together, but have separate rooms, as both value their own space and privacy.

Also they mostly sleep in different beds because Ronnie has chronic AS HE and can never stop moving. While this wouldn't be a problem considering it would take an earthquake to wake Caitlin, sometimes Frost randomly fronts while they're sleeping and she is one angry sleeper. Cue Ronnie getting very suddenly, very violently kicked off the bed. Cuddling isn't worth the bruises

Luckily tho, when Ronnie is sleepy t work he easily fall's asleep on Caitlin's shoulders or her back. Cue Caitlin trying really hard not to fall over because hOLY SHITT this dude is tall and jacked and fucking HEAVY

They're literally the best couple. Look at all this natural and healthy communication. They're so polite and positive around each other it's disGUSTANG

Caitlin often refers to him as Ronald just to cluster him. (She begins using it a lot ins Cisco since Cisco immediately joins in and starts calling him Ronald McDonald and its honestly what jumpstarted their friendships.)

To counterstrike this, Ronnie began almost always spelling Caitlin's name wrojg, just because she's so freakin cute when she's mad. Very effective over text

He fucking hates her mom. Just-- soo much. Whenever they're in the same n and Carla makes one judgemental comment, he just tips into her without hesitation

He used to ask every time before touching Caitlin, much less kissing her, and refused to entirely cull it when Caitlin told him to just go for it. He only just goes for it of Cait needs comforting or of she's already touching him. Any other time, he immediately asks, and always waits for an answer. It was frustrating in the beginning (it would fluster her SO HARD), but Caitlin quickly started to appreciate it. It remains one of her favorite aspects of Ronnie Raymond.

They're just... in love. Openly, honestly, brutally. Everybody can tell they're soulmates the moment they see them together.

They're so casual about it though, because it feels like they've been together forever, that sometimes folks mistake them for being best friends who don't know they're in love.

That's not that frequent, since they mention each other constantly. "My wife this," "my husband that." Sometimes Ronnie just leaves his friends because he's just like, hmm. Guys, I miss my wife. And he just GOES HOME?? and they're like yeah classic ronald, certified lover of his wife (literally)

Caitlin is quieter in real life, but she's a spam texter. Hers are well-worded notes about her day and any silly thoughts that cross her mind. With Ronnie, SHE feels like she doesn't constantly have to be, like, big-brained. She can let her stupid fly and he wholeheartedly encourages it

GOD i love them. I love them. I really love taking shallow canon relationships and breathing chemistry into them because they're usually so stale that I can totally make it My own and that's amazing

I lvbe thm and they love each other and it's the best y'all

#the #the flash cw #Caitlin snow #ronnie raymond #killer frost #snowstorm #caitonnie

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3wisellamas · 3 years

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OK KO Cast on the Infinity Train:

KO doesn't think he has any issues, that he's a happy, well-adjusted kid -- but then he gets on the train with a number in the high 400s and he's just like "What." He might be able to repress his negative emotions and hide them from himself, but there's no hiding them from the train!

Enid's number is pretty damn high with her identity and trust problems, though at least she gets through those pretty early. She might actually be the one who, if she meets up with any of her friends, would actually put in the work to get her exit first, but refuse to take it until the others got theirs as well.

Rad would literally just start out at, like, 35 or something, since like Jesse his main problems are his shitty friends and his need to be A Man. But, he'd take FOREVER to bring it down even to 34! Less because he's not willing to better himself and acknowledge his sensitive side, and more he just gets distracted by a car full of cats. ;v;

Dendy just wouldn't be on the train, period. MAYBE she'd get on with, like, a 12 from going a little too far with her experiments or insecurity about her heroic-ness next to KO, but that's about it. Which is a shame, I feel like she'd really get a kick out of learning how it all worked!

Now we're getting into the good stuff: Mr Gar. His number would be QUITE high (still triple-digits though, maybe 700s?) and the instant he understood what that meant he would immediately hide it, and go into denial that he has any issues at all, causing it to slowly increase until an entire army of denizens finally smack some sense into him. Like in the actual OK KO episode that dealt with him going into an artificial game world to reduce his numeric fear level, he'd probably need a lot of help from others to be able to face his past, and deal with it in a healthy way instead of just shoving it under the rug.

Carol...I get the feeling she'd actually be pretty high too, though not as high as Gar, at least as long as we're talking about season 1-2 Carol. Like Amelia, she's got a dead boyfriend to deal with, but with the added baggage of getting pregnant with and raising his son after his death! And of course, depending on the timing, we could be talking four or five digits for season 3 post-Big Reveal Carol, or even more during the finale.

Lord Boxman would be...about average number-wise, honestly. Like 200 or so. All the train really wants is for him to say "Yeah, my whole deal with friendship and being a control freak is because I really need to move on from my friend who betrayed me all those years ago." But...he won't say that, this is Boxman we're talking about. On a mechanical, robot-controlled train. One-One better watch his back, because he's coming for him!!

The Boxbots, if they're even eligible for numbers, are for the most part gonna be very high three-digits to start out with, since being mass-produced as plaza-destroying weapons and slave labor for an abusive dad who constantly invalidates their emotions and forces them to compete for his affection makes for a pretty crappy life overall. (Specifically, I'm thinking low 900s for Ernesto, 990s or an even 1000 for Darrell, 800s for Shannon and Raymond, and maybe high 300s for both Mikayla and Jethro) But, ironically, I think they might set new records for getting their numbers down quickly? Just give these kids some patient denizens willing to show them love and teach them how to stand up for themselves and they'll be alright. ;v;

Professor Venomous will start out with numbers all the way up his arm. I have exactly zero doubt he'd be the Simon in this scenario, since the man can't face a single one of his thousands of problems to save his life. Plus...I'd think the Chrome Car would be particularly rough for him if he happened to pass through it, which we know he totally will. Getting off the train, if he even ever does, will NOT be easy.

Fink probably gets a decently high number, from all of her boss' secrets she's had to keep, like around 250 I'd guess, but she just doesn't care. This is a train where literally anything can happen, and she is GOING to cause problems on purpose! :3

Foxtail's number is HIGH. Though she'd likely figure things out and seek to bring it down soon enough, there's gonna be a lot of cars she just straight-up suplexes out of frustration along the way. And I'm not talking every denizen in the car, I'm talking literally disconnecting and suplexing the actual train car. Also, she'd be the one to try escaping via the Wasteland, though at least she shouldn't have too many Ghom problems (rather, they'll have problems with her!)

Elodie would REALLY depend on where you pull her from. Pre-POINT Prep arc, you're looking at a SERIOUSLY high number, that'd likely only go higher -- though I do get the feeling that, EVENTUALLY, she'd figure out that she's fucking up and try to atone, like Grace, but not before she's a train-wide celebrity just basking in it all. Post-POINT Prep-but-pre-Dark Plaza Elodie might be a little better, more willing to acknowledge she needs to work on her friendships and how she interacts with people, but she still might be a bit of a disaster at first. Season 3 Elodie would be the most willing to listen and deal with her flaws -- still a high number though, I really get the feeling she ended the show still very much a work in progress, with a lot of issues we didn't quite get to see.

Crinkly Wrinkly ends up on the train with a number of -100. He gets off by murdering someone and bringing it up to zero. One-One just shrugs and sends him on his way.

#based off that adventure time / infinity train crossover post i just reblogged #ok ko #ok ko let's be heroes #infinity train #spoilers #don't mind me i'm just having fun ;p

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improvidus · 4 years

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The One About Naps

Warnings | None

Rating | K+

Genres | Friendship, Humor, Family, 5+1

Characters | Tammy Gregorio (POV), Patton Plame, Sonja Percy, Christopher LaSalle, Dwayne Pride, Loretta Wade, Raymond Isler

Pairings | Persalle (undertones)

Word Count | 4K

Summary: Five times Gregorio finds her new co-workers sleeping in strange places, and one time they find her.

1. Percy

The first time it happened, Gregorio was pouring herself a cup of coffee. She had yet to acquire a taste for the “essence de chicorée,” but with the way this case was going—had been going, non-stop, for nearly forty-six hours, now—she needed every drop of caffeine she could get. She had just finished a brief stint of sleep on the sofa upstairs, but she was fairly certain it had left her more exhausted than before.

She blew a stray strand of hair out of her eyes and reached for the container of sugar, growling when the little metal spout fought her as she tried to open it. Under normal circumstances, she didn’t take sugar, but she was banking on the chance that if she dumped in enough, it would give her the high she needed to last a few more hours. She clanked her spoon around inside a few times before tapping the loose drops free and tossing it in the sink. A couple of boxes of pizza had been left on the table and she grabbed a slice of Hawaiian, tearing off a bite and making a face. It had long ago gone cold. She swiped up a paper plate and shook her head, grumbling under her breath.

She was about to head back to her desk when she tripped, letting out a less-than-dignified yelp as she flailed to catch herself, wrapping her arms around a chair and spewing an impressive stream of colorful words as coffee sloshed over her hands and her paper plate fell to the floor. Her pizza would have gone with it, were it not still hanging from her clenched teeth. Balance regained, she looked down to see what she had tripped over. The lights in the kitchen were dim, but she could just see the toe of a small black combat boot peeking out from beneath the table. She frowned. Someone had left their shoes in the floor?

Unless…

She set her mug on the counter, slapped her pizza, plate-less, beside it, and got down on her hands and knees, squinting into the shadows under the table. Gregorio felt her eyebrows climb.

There, sprawled on her stomach in the middle of the floor, was Sonja Percy, sound asleep. At least, soundly enough that Gregorio plowing over her foot hadn’t seemed to make a dent. Her head was pillowed on her arms, right foot tucked beneath her left knee. At first glance, Gregorio had thought she was covered by a small blanket, but a closer look revealed it to be a jacket—or, more specifically, a shirt-jack. A denim shirt-jack. LaSalle’s denim shirt-jack.

She smirked. Interesting.

The way the garment was able to fully cover not only her trunk but half the length of her legs, as well, paired with the way she was scowling in her sleep only served to reinforce the “grumpy warrior dwarf” image Gregorio had had when she first met Percy.

“You havin’ some kinda breakdown down there, or were you just tired of chairs?”

Gregorio straightened so fast she nearly whacked her head on the table’s edge. Patton was stopped in the doorway that led to the courtyard, his head cocked, eyeing her quizzically where she squatted in the floor.

“No, I just—” She broke off, gesturing at the sleeping form before her.

Patton caught sight of the wayward toe and a knowing look crossed his face. “Who is it?”

“Percy. Does she do this often?” Gregorio was unable to hide her surprise at Patton’s lack thereof.

He snorted. “Girl, you got no idea. They all do. Cases go long like this, they catch their Z’s whenever—and wherever—they can. They just plop down wherever they at, and abracadabra—they out light a light.” He straightened his tie and patted it back beneath his vest. “Dang near given me heart attacks on more than one occasion.”

Gregorio frowned, turning her attention back to Percy as she processed this new information. She was growing accustomed to her colleagues’ laid back work environment, but this was…She shook her head. “Wow.”

“You’re tellin’ me. I almost ran over LaSalle, once.”

Her ankles and the backs of her knees complained as she straightened, scooping up her plate and chucking it before she retrieved her mug and took another bite of pizza. “Now that’s a story I wanna hear.” They made their way back into the bullpen, leaving Percy to her strange napping grounds.

2. Sebastian

The second time it happened, she had been sent to the lab to see how Sebastian was doing with the forensic analysis of some powdery substance they had found on their killer’s most recent vic. That made six, total. For now. She ran a hand over her face and sighed, offering up a short prayer that their gangly forensic geek would be in an English-speaking mood before rapping on the pane of glass in the door and breezing through. “Sebastian, where are you with the—”

She frowned. The man in question was nowhere to be seen. “Sebastian?”

There was no response.

She ducked back into the hall and poked her head into the morgue. Even Wade was showing signs of exhaustion. If they didn’t catch this guy soon...“Hey, Doc! Sebastian in here?”

“Hello, Tammy. I’m afraid not. You checked the lab? He was in there just a few minutes ago.”

“Yeah, I didn’t see him. Huh. That’s okay, I’ll just wait for him. Probably just went to the bathroom or something.”

Back in the lab, Gregorio picked up one of Sebastian’s dolls (“Action figures, Gregorio. They’re action figures. Have some class.”) and fiddled with it as she leaned back against his desk. A few minutes ticked by, and there was still no sign of Sebastian. She shook her head, slamming the doll back down on the desk, and was about to go looking for him when she heard a contented sigh.

She straightened, frowning. Her hand went to her service weapon, senses on alert. What if their killer was here, in the lab? What if he’d already taken care of Sebastian? Another sound led her to a multi-layered cart. There it was again, near her feet. It was almost like a...snore.

An idea formed in her mind as she slowly crouched before the cart.

Shoving her weapon back in its holster, she blew out a huff and rolled her eyes at herself and the sight before her. Yup.

Sebastian was curled on the cart’s bottom rack, sleeping peacefully in the single most odd position she had ever seen. It looked like he had sat down cross-legged and just...folded the rest of him over his legs. His face was smashed against the metal, gentle breaths whooshing in and out through slightly puckered lips. Gregorio snorted. He looked like an over-grown baby. Or a pretzel.

She decided ripping off the proverbial band-aid was the best option in this case. Well. At least the most entertaining. “Sebastian!”

The man jerked upright, eyes going wide and then becoming slits when he smacked his head on the rack above him.

Gregorio smirked. “Sleeping Beauty awakes!”

Sebastian rubbed at his head. “That was mean.”

Gregorio shrugged, watching with some amusement as he carefully maneuvered himself out of his chosen bed. “Maybe so, but that’s what you get for napping on the job. How tall are you, anyway? What, six-two, six-three?”

“Six-two. Why?”

“Six-two. You wanna tell me how the heck you fit in that thing?”

He shrugged, stretching as he stood. “I’m flexible.”

“I noticed that.”

Sebastian’s eyes cut to hers sharply as his ears began to glow a bright red. “Oh. Did—did you—was I—”

“Oh, yeah. For sure.”

The red spread to his cheeks.

Gregorio gave his arm a pat. “Don’t worry, Pretzel Man. Your secret’s safe with me.”

3. LaSalle

Isler wasn’t supposed to be here. Not now. Anytime but now.

The team had been running on fumes for nearly a week, frantically trying to stop an impending terrorist attack. They had averted the bombing planned for a Mardi Gras parade through the Quarter two days ago, but there was no time to celebrate their victory. Their man was still on the loose. Pride and LaSalle had been working triple overtime to let the junior agents get rest where they could during the hunt, and they were beginning to look like the ghoulishly pale masks their would-be bomber left behind him. Pride was consuming coffee by the pot, and when she asked why he wasn’t taking a break, he just shook his head and said he’d sleep when they got their man. For his part, LaSalle just flashed a very subdued version of his usual grin and said he never slept much over Mardi Gras season, anyway. When she’d shoved her half-full mug of lukewarm coffee into his hands, he’d stared into it longingly for a full thirty seconds before reluctantly passing it back and shaking his head. “Can’t. Messes with my aim.”

It was now nearly ten o’clock at night on day three since the bombing attempt and tensions were high, a feeling of dread clogging their usually comfortable workspace as they waited for the next shoe to drop. Pride and Percy were interrogating their suspect’s cousin, and LaSalle was...Well, Gregorio didn’t actually know where he was, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She was too busy wallowing in self-pity as she sat with her face planted in the files spread over her desk, grumbling under her breath.

And of course, that was when Isler showed up. “Am I interrupting something?”

Gregorio squinted up at him, wishing she could wipe the smug expression off of his face. “You couldn’t have called first?”

“No. For all intents and purposes, I’m not here.”

“Okay.” She sat up and pushed her hair out of her face, not allowing herself to feel sheepish about the compromising position he had found her in. He could judge from his easy chair all he wanted. No way he knew what they had been through the last few days. “If you’re not supposed to be here, why are you?”

“I may have a lead.”

She sat up straighter, all contention forgotten. “Really? That’s great, let me get Pride, and we can—”

“Text him. We won’t need backup, and he’s interrogating Miles Ortega, isn’t he?”

“How did you—” he quirked an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes. “FBI. Right.” She tugged on her jacket and pulled out her phone. “Address?”

He gave it to her, and she shot off a quick text to Pride before following him out the door. “Where’s your car?”

“I’m not here in an official capacity, remember? I took a taxi from the airport.”

“Okay. We’ll take the truck.” She climbed in the driver’s seat and sent another text, this one to LaSalle. Got a lead. Borrowing your baby. Don’t worry, I’ll get her back to you in one piece. She smirked. Probably.

“You sending a Dear John, Gregorio? Let’s go!”

She put her phone away and made a face. “Yes, sir.”

As they pulled out into the street, a sudden burst of recorded drums and a chant of “Roll! Tide!” filled the truck. It lasted less than a second, but it was enough to nearly give Gregorio a heart attack.

Isler looked at her with raised eyebrows. “That’s your text alert? I never pegged you for an Alabama fan.”

She snorted. “I’m not. That would be LaSalle’s. He must have left his phone in here.” She frowned, feeling around for it in the center console with her free hand.

“Huh. Professional.”

“He is! Usually. We’re all a little frazzled right now, is all,” she said defensively, despite her surprise that LaSalle would have neglected to grab his phone with all of this going on. Her hand drifted into the back, shuffling through a quilt that she didn’t remember being there yesterday. “It won’t happen again.”

Isler shrugged and looked out the window as Gregorio continued patting down the quilt. Where had he left his phone? She was about to give up, deciding she’d search for it later, when her hand came into contact with a limp something that was very hot, very rough, and very dry.

A hand.

She let out a squawk and the truck swerved a little as she jerked her hand back.

“Gregorio, what the—”

“I—there’s a—” LaSalle. It had to be LaSalle. That would explain the phone. And the quilt. Her jaw clenched. “Sorry, I um—I think that quilt has been on a few too many camping trips. There was a spider or something.”

“You’re afraid of spiders?”

She leveled a steely glare on Isler. “Are you gonna sit there and tell me you’re not?”

He shifted in his seat and returned to looking out the window. “No comment.”

“That’s what I thought.” She glued her eyes to the road ahead and cautiously reached back beneath the quilt to find the hand again. It squeezed her fingers. Uh-huh. Her eyes narrowed. She patted around until she found what she guessed to be chest or stomach and smacked it. Hard. There was a hollow thunking sound and a soft “oomph!” She smiled. Stomach, then.

Isler’s eyes cut from her to the quilt piled between the front and back seats a few times before lingering on her, eyebrow quirked, mouth opening and closing once, twice, and then again before he wisely chose to leave his questions unasked.

She spared him a prim glance. “Spider. Got it.”

4. Loretta

“Hey, Doc, you in here?” Percy poked her head in the door of the morgue and stopped short. “Well, now.”

Gregorio leaned in to see over her shoulder. “What?” She blinked. “Oh. That’s, uh, that’s a new one.”

“Yeah. Should we, uh—”

“Nah. She’s been on her feet for even longer than we have on this one.”

Percy shot her a doubtful look.

“Okay, well. At least as long,” she amended.

They stood in silence for a few moments before Percy broke it. “She looks so…”

“Peaceful.”

“Yeah.” Percy’s face scrunched up. “She’s been in this line of work too long.”

“For sure.”

A beat.

Gregorio shifted on her feet. “This making you uncomfortable, too?”

“Oh, heck yeah.”

“Great, just checking.”

Gregorio didn’t notice the door to Sebastian’s lab open and close until a whisper, loud, hot, and mockingly conspiratorial, brushed past her ear. “What’re y’all lookin’ at?”

The girls whipped around in unison to find LaSalle, smirking down at them and looking very pleased with himself.

Percy put a finger to her lips and shushed him fiercely, despite the fact that her yelp as a result of his whisper had been much louder than the whisper itself.

He held up placating hands. “Sorry. Seriously, though. What’s so—” he broke off, eyebrows shooting up as his head cocked to one side. “Well, there’s something I never thought I’d see.”

“You and me both,” Gregorio said, shaking her head.

LaSalle joined their stack—his chin jutting over Gregorio’s shoulder, Gregorio’s over Percy’s.

The solemn silence was shattered by a loud shutter sound. The girls jumped and swiveled again. LaSalle was holding his phone aloft, grinning down at the photo he had just taken.

They glared.

He threw his hands out indignantly. “What? King would never believe me if I don’t get some photographic evidence of...this.” He waved vaguely towards the sight before him.

Gregorio considered for a minute before shrugging. “That’s fair.”

Percy pulled the door shut gently and stood on tiptoes to see past LaSalle’s shoulder. “Well, let’s see it, Country Mouse!”

Gregorio stationed herself at his other shoulder as he turned his screen so they could both see the photo of Loretta Wade, curled contentedly beneath a white sheet, sound asleep on the morgue’s only available autopsy table.

5. Pride

Gregorio’s nose twitched as it noticed a strange element joining the mouth-watering scent of Pride’s Louisiana-famous gumbo. She looked up from her paperwork. Something was burning.

She waited a moment, expecting to hear Pride scrambling around in an attempt to rescue his food, but all was silent in the kitchen. Frowning, she stood and followed her nose to find Pride standing at the stove, one hand at his side, the other loosely gripping a wooden spoon. The spoon was poised to stir the gumbo, but it wasn’t stirring. Gregorio watched for a moment as he just stood there, unmoving.

“Pride?”

Nothing.

“Hey, boss.”

Nada.

“Okay, you’re starting to freak me out, here.”

Nope.

She crossed the room, coming to a halt when she reached his side, hand going out to take his arm. “Pride, are you o—” she dropped her hand to her side as Pride released a loud snore. “Oh, you gotta be kidding me. You too?”

Another snore.

“Pride.”

Snore.

“Pride!”

No dice.

She took his arm urgently. “Your gumbo’s burning!”

Pride jerked and choked on a snore, his stirring starting up again before his eyes were fully open. He blinked. “Gregorio?”

“The one and only. I thought an experienced cook like yourself would know better than to fall asleep at the stove??”

Pride sighed and waved her off. “It wasn’t intentional. I’m good now. The team needs to eat.”

“The team can get take-out. You need to sleep. Seriously.” She took the spoon from him. “Sonja can’t eat this, anyway. I’ll call the mice twins and have them pick something up on their way back.”

Pride scoffed and shook his head. “You’ve all been working so hard on this one. I wanted to do somethin’ nice for y’all.”

“And we appreciate that, Pride. We do. But you’ve been going just as hard as the rest of us, and honestly…” she glanced at the scorching gumbo and flicked the burner off before putting a hand on Pride’s arm. “I think the nicest thing you could do for us right now is to get some sleep before you burn this place down, yeah?”

Pride chuckled. “You may be right.”

“Oh, I’m right.” She put a hand on his back and herded him to the door. “Go sleep. The case will be here when you wake up, and so will we. If I know LaSalle and Percy, there’ll probably even be some po’ boys.”

Pride turned to face her. “Are you sure? I can—”

“I’m sure. Positive. Go sleep.”

He raised his eyebrows at the commanding tone her voice had taken on. “You do remember that I’m your boss, right?”

“Yep. Always. Now get out of here.”

He held up his hands in surrender. “All right, you win. I’m goin’.” He took exactly five steps before turning back. “If you find anything—”

“We’ll call you. Go. Sleep. We got this.”

“Alright. Okay. Okay, I’m goin’.”

Gregorio stepped out into the courtyard and watched with arms crossed and eyebrow quirked until his door closed behind him. Then she fired off a jubilant fist-pump and pulled out her phone. “Hey, Percy. You’ll never guess what I just pulled off.”

+1. Gregorio

“Hey, you seen Gregorio recently?”

LaSalle looked up from the sea of paperwork his desk was drowning in to see Percy standing in the kitchen doorway, hands on her hips, face scrunched in the way that made her nose crinkle a little. He straightened out the smirk that tried to form on his face at the sight. “Not since I got back from Miss Loretta’s. Why? What’s up?”

“Nothin’s up, really, I just wanted to get her opinion on Arlan Kyle’s file. Let her work her profiling magic and jazz. But she’s not in the kitchen, she’s not in Patton’s office, the courtyard is a ghost yard.”

“You check upstairs?”

She sent him a Look and the smirk threatened to resurface. “Of course I did. I even checked the interrogation rooms. Zero. Zilch. Nada.”

“Huh. Maybe she’s out chasin’ down a lead, or something.”

Percy looked doubtful. “Without telling anyone? That’s not Gregorio.” Her eyes took on a mischievous glint. “You, on the other hand...”

“That was one time.”

“Yeah, and Brody and I almost shot you that one time.” She put air-quotes around the last two words.

“One could argue that I almost shot you and Brody.”

“Yeah, okay. Believe what you want to, Country Mouse, but the point is, taking off alone, without telling anybody, is a monumentally dumb idea and Gregorio isn’t monumentally dumb.”

LaSalle squinted at the implied insult. “Somebody’s playing hardball tonight.”

“Aw, sorry. You’re not always dumb.” Her tone changed abruptly from condescending sugar to bored chagrin. “But when you are, it’s monumental.”

LaSalle rolled his eyes, but couldn’t quite stifle his laugh. “Yeah, okay. I’ll give you that one. But you better watch yourself, City Mouse. Next time you do somethin’ stupid I’m gonna be on you like buzzards on week-old roadkill.”

Percy made a face as she sat down at her desk. “Well, that’s a lovely mental image. But you’re gonna be waitin’ a while, Country Mouse. You got nothin’ on me.”

“Yet.” Chris rooted around in the desk’s top drawer and came up with an empty box. “You got a paperclip?”

“Ran out this morning. Check Gregorio’s?”

LaSalle rose and stretched, ambling over to Gregorio’s desk and pulling open a drawer. His eyebrows shot up as he took in the haphazard tangle of office supplies. “She’s got a whole danged arsenal in here!” Boxes of staples, spare pencil leads, scotch tape, zebra pens, and there—paper clips. “Think fast.” He chucked a box at Percy, slinging it far enough that she shot back in her chair to catch it, barely slamming her feet down in time to save herself from toppling backward.

She held the small package aloft, a triumphant smirk on her face. “Read ‘em and weep, LaSalle.”

“Can’t blame a guy for tryin’.” His grin abruptly turned to a frown when his shoe brushed against something hard under the desk. He moved his foot around a little. Whatever it was, it was large. He braced a hand on the desktop and crouched to take a look. The grin returned full tilt as his head popped back up. “Pssst. Percy!”

She looked up. “Why are you on the floor?”

He held a finger to his lips and beckoned her over.

She crossed to the desk, a frown gathering on her face. “Why are we whispering?”

“Look.”

She stepped behind him, bending a little to follow his gaze. “What are you—” She broke off when she caught sight of Tammy Gregorio curled beneath her desk, face resting on prayer hands. Percy clapped a hand over her mouth, but LaSalle still heard the giggle that bubbled free.

He grinned back at her, mouthing “busted.”

“She’s gonna be so embarrassed when she wakes up!”

“Yeah. There goes all her ammo for teasin’ us about our sleeping habits. Hey, toss me my jacket?”

She tiptoed away and was back a moment later, pressing the cool leather into his hand. He spread it over the newbie as warily as if she were a poisonous snake that might strike if he moved too quickly. But she didn’t stir. Gaining confidence, he rearranged it a little, trying in vain to find a way to fully cover her. Despite her all-but fetal position, his best efforts still left her socked feet exposed. He ran a hand over his mouth and nodded. “I guess that’ll have to—”

“Think fast!” Percy’s voice hissed across the bullpen and he looked up just in time to catch a glimpse of her wicked grin before his head snapped back and his face was engulfed in denim. He peeled it away and did his best to keep his unimpressed glare from cracking as she threw her arms in the air and shout-whispered, “She scores! The crowd goes wild! Ahhhhh!”

His laughter got the best of him as he shook his head and tucked the jacket over Gregorio’s exposed feet. “You’re some kinda special, you know that, Percy?”

“Oh, come on. You know you love me.”

LaSalle was suddenly very grateful for the desk that concealed his face.

A/N: This one was so fun to write!!!! I’d never written a 5+1 fic before, but...I think I’ll have to write more. That was FUN. Didn’t feel like work at all. But that may be due to how entertaining the characters are? I love writing for them. Fun fact, Sebastian’s “pretzel position” may or may not be based on my favorite way to sleep. Kudos, props, and candy to anyone who caught the VeggieTales reference!

Feedback always, always appreciated. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, lovely soul! It means more to me than you’ll ever know. Don’t forget to drink water today! And maybe eat a cake. Or an apple. Something to make your heart happy. I love you. Jesus loves you. Have a marvelous day, you!

Author out.

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365days365movies · 3 years

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April 8, 2021: Swiss Army Man (and Black Comedy) (Review)

Let’s look at the week’s other black comedies, shall we?

I’m a bit behind on the reviews (and the Recaps, but that’s a little easier to fix at the moment), but I decided to give something a shot. While I’ve still got full Reviews for each of those films, it occurred to me that the ones left to review are the black comedies. The Great Dictator is technically a part of the category as well, but I’m letting it skate by under satire. Plus, I already reviewed it. And, since Swiss Army Man is the last black comedy I’m covering this month, what better time than now to summarize the rest! Again, I’ll be giving more comprehensive reviews in due time. But until then...

Arsenic and Old Lace (1944), dir. Frank Capra: 90%

Wow, I get why this movie is so very loved, by everybody and my mom! Told her I watched it the other day, and she was very happy to hear it! This is a VERY funny movie, and while it is a black comedy, it’s more of a straight-up comedy than any of these other films! The acting’s a little cheesy sometimes, yeah, but Cary Grant is goddamn AMAZING in this movie. It’s mostly his supporting cast that serves the cheese platter (Raymond Massey especially). Plot and writing by Julius and Phillip Epstein are spot-on smooth, but directing isn’t one of Frank Capra’s best in my completely uninformed opinion. Production and art design is great, especially given that we’re mostly only in one place for the whole movie. Still, that place looks good regardless. Finally, the music by Max Steiner is also pretty fantastic, although it’s not going on my playlist anytime soon, to be honest. Editing by Daniel Mandell is also great, and the pacing of this movie’s plot is...mostly perfect. Lags a little when Jonathan comes in, I think. Anyway, highly recommended, and a must-see!

Recap (Part One | Part Two)

Withnail and I (1987), dir. Bruce Robinson: 86%

OK...this one is kind of hard for me. Because I think I was supposed to get more out of this film than I actually did. Maybe that’s because I’m a filthy American and all that, but this film came off as good dramatically, with some ribald humor in it...but not really that funny. But, OK, to briefly go through the points here: Richard E. Grant, Paul McGann, and Richard Griffiths all turn out fantastic performances here, and they’re extremely memorable. Plot and writing by director Bruce Robinson is very good as well, and it’s also autobiographical to an extent, which is interesting. Very wittily written and performed, so no complaints there. Directing is...fine? It’s fine. Nothing to write home about, although there’s one nice scene on a mountainside which sticks out. Same with Charles Lang and his cinematography, although that fares a little more memorable for me. Production and set design is great, and the music (by Adolph Deutsch)...leaves a little to be desired. In that I don’t remember it at all, not gonna lie. Editing by Arthur P. Scmidt is fine!

Recap (Part One | Part Two)

In Bruges (2008), dir. Martin McDonagh: 90%

Take my feelings on the humor for the preceding two and combine them, then make the tone WAY darker than either, and you have In Bruges. And HOT DAMN, I love it! All of the performances are ridiculously strong here, from Colin Farell and Brendan Gleeson, to Ralph Fiennes and Clémence Poésy. Although, Jordan Prentice and Jérémie Renier are mostly just OK, to be honest with you. And that was nothing to do with the writing and directing of Martin McDonagh, because GODDAMN, those are spot-fucking-ON. Seriously, if this movie has nothing else going for it, it’s some fast-paced writing and delivery that’ll knock your socks off. Love it. And Bruges is framed like a painting, and a nice one at that! It’s also a good looking movie, even if the color palette leaves a little to be desired sometimes. Production and art design is...well, it’s the city of Bruges, for the most part, let’s be honest. It looks good. And finally, music by Carter Burwell is...fine. It’s OK, it’s definitely not very memorable for me, to be honest. But, uh, this is a grizzly, dark, rough movie...and totally worth watching again, hot damn.

Recap

Swiss Army Man (2016), dir. Daniels: Well...keep reading!

Recap is here and here!

Review

Cast and Acting: 9/10

These two, Paul Dano and Daniel Radcliffe, are a hell of a pair...kind of. Fact of the matter is, Radcliffe is heavily restrained in his role until the very end of the film, but is also VERY GOOD with these restraints. I mean, is this one of those “disappear into the role” moments for him? I mean, it definitely is for Dano, but for Radcliffe...I was watching Harry Potter. Never didn’t see the boy who lived, ironically. But, that’s not really on Radcliffe at all, to be fair. Like I said, dude is legitimately fantastic, seriously. He does a fantastic job in the role of...well, being a dead body. And Paul Dano’s Hank is a genuinely interesting character, and one that I’d like to know more about, honestly. He does a great job with what he’s given. Oh, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead was there, too!

Plot and Writing: 8/10

Look...this is a weird-ass concept for a movie. I mean, come on, it’s a movie about a guy with intense social anxiety who makes friends with a semi-resurrected corpse that has multiple abilities and is slowly coming to terms with an new life. And yes, there’s definitely some symbolism in here, whether you see this as a story about depression, coming out, coming to terms with yourself, social anxiety, friendship, existential crises, personal development...dead bodies. Yeah, this film can be read in a LOT of different ways, it turns out. And is that a bad thing? No, of course not. But it is a little nebulous as a result, and you end up focusing less on the sybolis, and more on the whole “dead-body-Victorinox” thing. That plot and the writing, both by the Daniels (Daniel Schinert and Daniel Kwan), are well-done and very funny in a lot of instances (MOST instances, to be honest; this is a very funny film), but I can’t say that I think the plot itself is perfect. But then again, this may have just gone over my head.

Directing and Cinematography: 8/10

I mean...it’s good. Both the directing by the Daniels and the cinematography by Larkin Seiple are both quite good. Lighting is usually pretty great, framing is consistently good, I really don’t have any major complaints...or major comments. There are some good shots, to be clear, but I’m not going to say that it’s perfect or anything. To be fair, this is the Daniels’ first feature length film, so that’s interesting. But yeah, like I said, it’s good!

Production and Art Design: 9/10

This is a great looking movie! And that also comes down to the fact that there’s a pretty realistic looking Daniel Radcliffe puppet in here, and I genuinely didn’t notice until after the fact. It’s pretty great, though, and Radcliffe’s makeup is especially good. The setting of the Pacific Northwest woods is fantastic as well, and the whole thing is simply a great looking film overall. Not much comment outside of that!

Music and Editing: 9/10

MY LORD I love the music in this movie! I meant it when I said I’d be putting some of this on my playlist, because it sounds great. And it’s not just Andy Hull and Robert McDowell’s orchestration, but how the score is integrated with the plot and characters of the film! Look...I love it. Go back to my recap and check out the links embedded within to listen to my favorite tracks, if you’re curious! So, if I love the music so much, why not a 10 here? Editing. There are a few moment where the editing is a little weird. Faster cuts than needed, scene with the bear’s kinda weird, that kind of thing. Nothing huge, but it did come to mind when I was rating this section. Still, Matthew Hannam did a great job; just saw a couple spots I thought were weird.

86% for this one! I had a really good time.

This is the last straight-up black comedy I’m covering this time around, and it’s one hell of a film to end on! So, let’s go back to...well, the ‘50s, this time. Let’s start at the most imfluential comedy of the time period. And hey...might as well start with a near-certified banger, huh?

April 9, 2021: Some Like It Hot (1959), dir. Billy Wilder

#swiss army man #daniel scheinert #daniel kwan #daniel scheinert and daniel kwan #the daniels #paul dano #daniel radcliffe #mary elizabeth winstead #comedy april #user365 #365days365movies #365 movie challenge #365 movies 365 days #365 Days 365 Movies #365 movies a year #userhayao #userskashi #classicfilmblr

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youngbounty · 4 years

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Five Reasons I Won’t Watch the Anime, But Will Watch the Movie

I don't have many good things to say about the Ace Attorney anime and have my reasons for why I refuse to watch it. Admittedly, I have watched a few clips here and there to see how its version of some, if not many, of my favorite scenes from the game compare. As expected, it continually disappoints. Had it been just Manfred Von Karma adopting Miles Edgeworth that I hated from the anime, I would've watched it regardless. Even during the days I was into Yu-Gi-Oh, I was still willing to watch the worst season of that show, Capsule Monsters, because it still felt like Yu-Gi-Oh no matter how poorly done it was. The same can be said for Ace Attorney. If it feels like Ace Attorney, I will watch it regardless.

The Ace Attorney anime did not give me the same type of excitement the game had. Much to my amazement, much of the reasons why I absolutely refuse to watch the anime version of Ace Attorney is the opposite reasons why I am more than excited to watch the live action movie adaptation. Even when watching some of the spoiler clips of the live action movie, including some of the changes made, gives me the joy and excitement I never got when watching the Ace Attorney anime. To understand this, I will give you my list of reasons for why I refuse to watch the Ace Attorney anime and how the live action Ace Attorney movie differs from those reasons.

Changes From the Game

In any medium, changes are necessary in order to fit the medium. The Danganronpa anime, for instance, makes certain necessary changes during the day breaks. Instead of seeing Makoto meeting with each character and being given their underwear, after unlocking five or three friendship events, it mostly cuts to important scenes. Of course, this does mean sacrificing what bond he's made to the other characters, but that sacrifice is necessary in order to keep the story going. Some scenes from the game are cut from the anime for timing purposes. The Ace Attorney anime doesn't do either of those things.

I have complained about the anime's change in having Miles Edgeworth be the adopted son of Manfred Von Karma, but that's just the tip of the ice berg of changes done in the anime. Other changes I've also seen will go from giving Miles a dog named Missile – who was actually Dick Gumshoe's dog in the game, to having Maya gain the bullet from Gregory by stealing it from Von Karma's office – because that is totally not illegal or destroys the sacrifice she made to gain that bullet in the game, to making Celeste Inpax Adrian's older sister – yeah, because that doesn't destroy the symbolism of Miles Edgeworth's suffering, to the biggest disappointment of no psyche-locks, aside from that tease in Farewell my Turnabout that felt like the creator was sticking their tongue at us. There are more stupid changes, besides these, but I'd rather not list them all.

There were changes in the anime that I did like, but they were mostly additions that broadened the story and most of it was from the first season. Come to find out, the first season of the anime was done by a different studio, while the second season changed studios. It's pretty clear that the first season at least was putting love and care into the show, whereas the second season felt more like a lazy cash grab with no real potential. I'm not asking for an anime adaptation of Ace Attorney to be by the books, but I am asking for heart and the anime didn't feel like there was any heart. I felt more love for the show in Yu-Gi-Oh Capsule Monsters and even The Last Airbender live action movie than I did with the Ace Attorney anime. Not to say there wasn't anyone working on the anime that weren't Ace Attorney fans, but the ones that did work their best were not the ones in charge of orchestrating the project. I will say the voice actors and those in charge of the music did put their heart into it.

The live movie adaptation of Phoenix Wright do have changes from the game, but unlike the anime adaptation, these changes do feel like necessary changes in comparison. One of the major changes in the live action movie is the setting of DL-6, which is the Evidence Room and not the elevator. Because the film was low budget, it's understandable why they may've had to change the setting. Also, it would be hard to film in a closed space. While Miles passing out makes little sense in the movie, it also can be left up for interpretation such as maybe the shock of thinking he shot his father by accident. Another change was having Gregory wear his trench coat from Miles Edgeworth Investigations 2, which I find to be an excellent Easter egg. Another change was how Phoenix Wright obtained the bullet shot in Gregory Edgeworth, that being from inside The Thinker clock/statue. While it belittled Maya's sacrifice in the anime, in this one, it creates a connection between Maya's and Edgeworth's trial that is necessary for the film adaptation. A film cannot work in the same way as a game, since a movie needs to follow a single plot line. It also doesn't sacrifice Maya's sacrifice, since the tasing scene is still in the film, but at a different location with different circumstances.

Not to say the film won't have any flaws, but it's clear there was more heart put into it based on the changes. It never tries to change the relationships between the characters from the game, make characters do things they normally wouldn't do in the game or give things that originally belonged to another character. The live action movie kept to the game as much as it could. Because of how much heart was put into the live action movie, I had thought it was a fan movie at first. Heck, there are scenes where we see Edgeworth stand from the Defendant's Bench to defend himself. Sure, the anime had that too, but not until the very end. Even then, it wasn't as good as the live action movie, where Edgeworth is heavily involved and not just sitting in his bench twiddling his thumbs, while Phoenix is cross-examining a bird. Not to say the game had Edgeworth do anything until the end, but there weren't enough graphics to see him respond to anything. Anyone that does an anime or movie adaptation is expected to show more than what the game provides. When you compare the responses from the characters in the anime and the movie, it's clear the movie shows much more responses from the defendant and the entire gallery, while the anime does not.

As I said, changes are sometimes necessary when doing adaptations to other mediums and the movie's changes feel much more necessary, while the anime's changes feel aggrivating.

Semi Futuristic, Conducting Trials and Presenting Evidence

The anime adaptation has a very lazy way of showing us that Phoenix Wright takes place in a semi futuristic world with 2000's technology. It does this by... showing us technology we already have in this day and age? Imagine if someone were to make a Back to the Future reboot where Marty McFly goes to 2015 and instead of seeing a Utopian future full of jaw dropping technology and hover boards, we get technology we use today. Sounds kinda boring, doesn't it? Well, that's what the Ace Attorney anime feels like.

There's nothing amazing or uniquely different about the Ace Attorney anime that catches the viewer's eye. What I liked about the game was that it introduced us to certain kinds of tech that were amazing and made us feel we were in another world. We were introduced to new ways of development and magic. Fingerprint analysis could be used by common people, you could analyze pieces of evidence without touching it, you can record data in a court record before the police arrive and, because magic also exists in this world, people treated it as something that commonly happened. In the anime, we get to see screenshots of evidence on TV, have Phoenix handling evidence even though he's not allowed to do that and watching a not Utopian future that feels too much like the real world today. Yay.

The Ace Attorney live action movie not only makes it known that this is a semi futuristic world, but shows it to us. You have evidence in holographic screens the Defense or Prosecution can pull up and push to the person they're showing it to. When the Defense wins, holographic confetti is released toward the gallery, which I find much more satisfying than Gumshoe throwing it. This makes it to where the Defense doesn't have to handle evidence and present it much more efficiently. Because trials are expected to last no more than three days, you really feel the pressure from Phoenix Wright. It feels like something that exists only in this world and not ours.

What the live action movie did was something asked and expected by the fans. They want Ace Attorney to feel like a semi futuristic world. They want the trials to feel pleasant to look at. The anime did do a good job with adding some wind effects to the objections, but that was the only cool thing done. There wasn't anything fresh and new beyond that. Also, no psyche-locks, which I felt was one of the biggest disappointments. It felt like a missed opportunity with what the anime could do with the animation in using the magatama to break the psyche-locks. Well... that and showing Phoenix throwing his phone to Edgeworth in Farewell my Turnabout in animation. Co'mon, am I the only one that wants to see the epic phone throw in animation!?

Pet peeves aside, with what I've seen the live action movie provide with presenting evidence, I am looking forward to seeing what else they bring to the table. Perhaps hinting the magatama?

Easter Eggs

The anime showing Easter eggs or not is irrelevant, because I see non. I asked someone, who had only seen the Ace Attorney anime if Gregory is ever seen with Raymond Shields or have any discussions about IS-7. The answer was no. We get nothing out of IS-7.

The live action movie gives us Gregory with his trench coat he used when investigating IS-7. It gives us Apollo Justice's Objection song that is used at the end of Phoenix's Objection song. The movie ends with Farewell my Turnabout, letting us know it's not expecting a sequel, but tells us that Phoenix Wright does not end with Turnabout Goodbyes either. The live action movie makes it clear there is no sequel, but shows us there is more to look forward to. This is something I never got from the anime.

The anime only tells the story it wants to tell us and no more. Many people ask for an anime adaptation of Apollo Justice, but I don't want there to be one. There was a huge split in the game, so in order to do an anime adaptation, that would mean the creators will have to put love and heart into it. Unfortunately, I never got that from the anime. Not even a hint of what's to come or even the events of Phoenix Wright Dual Destinies or Spirit of Justice.

You want to talk about change, how about instead of Miles Edgeworth being adopted by Manfred Von Karma, he's adopted by Raymond Shields? Then, when Miles gets older, he leaves to work for Manfred Von Karma and we get a heartbreaking scene of Miles saying hurtful words to Raymond Shields. Heck, how about instead of Phoenix giving Miles a dog named Missile, it's named Pess. Not only would it be showing love for the show, but acknowledging the creator's idea for the character. Another change fans would love is Miles Edgeworth eating a swiss roll with Gumshoe and Kay in Turnabout Beginnings. Maybe have Phoenix read a Newspaper about Miles Edgeworth revealing the Yatagaratsu to being Calisto Yew.

Again, going back to Yu-Gi-Oh Capsule Monsters, the idea 4Kids came up with was based on a game introduced in the manga. While the monsters were replaced by Dual Monsters, the game play was still the same. It may've been the worst season, but it at least was aware of what the fans wanted and looked forward to. The same can be said for The Last Airbender live action movie. Granted, it sucked and the characters were blander than a cardboard box, but it at least kept story and characters consistent with little to no changes in the flow of the plot and characters. I never got that from the anime.

I will admit, I liked how the creators did base many of the expressions from the sprites, but it felt like that these additions were from a simple google search. You can find sprites of the characters. You can also search on wiki for the summery of the game play and walk through. Again, the first season did feel like they were trying to follow the plot and characters, while giving the fans what they wanted. Though, afterwards, the animation and everything just stood on a straight line instead of improving.

If I had to choose, I will always be thrilled to watch an adaptation that feels like it was made with love and care by fans and for fans.

Cheap and lazy

The anime is lazy with its animation and what they can do with it. There was a clip of when Godot threw his coffee at Phoenix, then we see it magically disappear in the next scene. There were some people that thought I was nitpicking when I complained about it, but it had nothing to do with realism. It was because it was lazy. I would have preferred Phoenix turning the coffee into a rope and whipping Godot than using cheap tricks like that. That's aside from the fact that the animation feels cheap when compared to the game.

I know that with animated series, it is treated differently than a cartoon movie, because it's continual, but that's not an excuse when you consider what the live action movie did on a low budget. Cheap and lazy is different from low budget film. Despite being on low budget, the live action movie worked their hardest to make the movie as exciting as possible. Sure, there were goofy moments, but they were done for comedic effects to distract us from the dark elements. The characters showed much stronger emotions when compared to the anime adaptation.

Now, Maya's character in the film was one thing that felt like a fail and I would agree with that, but the rest of the characters showed such strong emotions that worked naturally off each other. Just from the trailer alone, I could see that the actress that played Maya tried her hardest to put so much emotion into her character that lost her sister and dealt with the hardships of a spirit medium. Phoenix Wright deals with the pressure of being a Defense Attorney and shows the emotions of losing his mentor, then is about to lose his best friend he worked so hard to become a Defense Attorney to save. You see the intense emotion and pressure with being accused of murder by his own mentor he worshiped like a god. Again, there's a reason why I thought this film was fan made.

The intense emotion shown in the live action movie reminded me of a stage play done at an Anime Con on Farewell my Turnabout where Phoenix is talking with Shelly De Killer. There's a moment he has with Edgeworth where he is in tears, because of Maya's situation, then hearing words of wisdom from his friend to not give up. That tugs my heartstrings and just watching the trailer of the live action movie did the same to me. Seeing Phoenix watching the ghost of his former mentor pulled on my heartstrings compared to the anime's version of it. Also, no I did not watch the live action's scene of Maya's ghost before the anime's; it was the other way around. Seeing Phoenix in the live action version looking like he's about to cry and struggling not to is much more heartbreaking than watching the anime's Phoenix on the ground in the middle of the courtroom doing the same thing and looking like a fool.

When you see a low budget movie touching hearts by doing their very best with what they have, it shows they're not just showing cheap tricks. I feel the anime could've done much more instead of using cheap tricks. Going back to my no psyche-locks complaint, when you have a two second scene of psyche-locks breaking in an imagery that shows more dimension than the game, it feels more like a middle finger than an Easter Egg. I don't want to see cheap parlor tricks, I want to see the best freakin' adaptation to a beloved game the world has ever seen.

Love VS Money

As I have stated, I do believe that the Ace Attorney anime was originally planned by those that genuinely loved the game. Many of the ideas placed into it like the Signal Samurai and giving Edgeworth a dog feels like something brought by a genuine fan. Though, at some point, the anime lost its way and it makes me wish it was like the Danganronpa anime and just stuck to one season. That being said, I don't think it was full of people that didn't care about Ace Attorney. There were certainly fans of the game in the development team, but there were those that I suspect cared more for money than love for the franchise.

The live action movie felt like it was done by fans. Even those that didn't know the game seemed excited about working on this project. I'm not going to say that people that work on a good movie adaptation are going to be full of fans, but it needs to be driven by fans. It's not going to feel genuine otherwise. The Ace Attorney anime didn't feel genuine and perhaps it's because Season 2 was done by a different studio.

Think of it this way, what if there was a trailer of a live action adaptation of Yu-Gi-Oh? Wouldn't you want to see holographic images projecting from a duel disk or watching the characters going inside a holographic box that projects different climates or environments with monsters that look realistic and 3D looking? What if instead of that, you got TV screenshots of the play cards and monsters in 2D pixels fighting and defeating each other as if you were at a Yu-Gi-Oh game Anime Con? Wouldn't that be disappointing?

I think you guys get the idea. In any anime adaptation of a game, I expect it to feel like it came straight out of the game itself. That's what the live adaptation of Ace Attorney feels like. It feels like they took the game out of its cartridge and placed it in the real world. Sure, there are changes, but they don't feel like a disappointment or missed opportunity. The Ace Attorney anime feel like there were too many missed opportunities and changes no one asked for.

In any case, I look forward to watching the live adaptation of Ace Attorney, because it feels genuine, it feels like the kind of movie I looked forward to as a fan. When I finished the trilogy, I remember nagging about how Ace Attorney would be the perfect movie for Hollywood to adapt to live action, because there wouldn't be many scenes to shoot and the only chapter of the game to focus is Turnabout Goodbyes. If they want to go farther, then Turnabout Sisters and Turnabout Goodbyes with the other ones brushed to the side. Apparently, I wasn't the only one asking for this, because the live action movie did exactly that.

If there is any chance to give Ace Attorney another chance for a live action adaptation, I'd like there to be little to no changes and to give something to the fans that they look forward to.

#Ace Attorney #ace attorney anime #Phoenix Wright #adaptation #Ace Attorney movie

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leverage-commentary · 5 years

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Leverage Season 1, Episode 13, The Second David Job, Audio Commentary Transcript

Chris: I’m Chris Downey, Executive Producer.

John: And Writer of this episode.

Chris: And Writer.

John: John Rodgers, Executive Producer and Oo-Writer. On my 13th Guiness for the DVD series.

[All Laugh]

Chris: For those of you keeping score.

John: Keeping score at home.

Dean: And I’m Dean Devlin the- one of the Executive producers and Director of this episode.

John: Alright what was our problem with this episode? We had broken up the team and done just about the best season finale you can imagine in episode 12. We did not know if we were getting a second season and we all hate cliffhanger endings.

Dean: Right.

John: So we really wanted to get the crew back together and my god how do you do that? And, you know, and this really killed us this- we hammered this first act- we had the back half of this written for ages.

Chris: Yeah.

John: And really just hammered the first act of this to hell.

Chris: It helped having a little time between the two episodes.

John: Yes.

Chris: On the show three months have passed, so that kinda gave you a chance to reset.

John: Yeah.

Dean: One of the things that I loved in this opening, guys, talk about how you guys came up with this. This idea that we’re seeing all of them break in, and of course as the audience I'm assuming they're doing this together, only to discover that none of them knew the other guy’s were doing this. How did that idea come about?

John: It was originally written that they were- it was originally written that they were all practicing a break in together.

Chris: Right.

John: And the idea was that he would go and have his meeting with them to tell them screw you I'm coming. ‘Fill your hands, you son of a bitch!’ And they would be practicing the break in and they would fail miserably and it would be we’ve just basically written a check we can't cash. Our mouth has written a check we can't cash. And then it was- it was weirdly static because the group was- why were they back together again? We felt like we hadn't gone anywhere off the previous episode.

Chris: The dry run didn't really- in a neutral location didn't really give you anything and you had the idea to bring it to where...

John: Why don’t we- basically, first off, like we’re gonna steal the gallery anyways, so let’s see it. We haven't really seen where we’re gonna be doing the crime, yet, and we should establish that as early as possible. I like very aggressive first acts, which is why often they're intercut between two or three, like, pipe and execution or two or three different storylines, and then it was just one of those things in the room where it was like, ‘what if they don't know each other’s there?’ and that just opened it up. The idea that- cause that was it, the question was, ‘alright when did they get back together after they've broke up?’ And that became, ‘what if they didn't?’

Chris: What if they didn't?

John: And that gave us this really, a ton of fun opening.

Dean: I tell you, I still laugh every time I watch this when Sophie turns around and goes, [whispers] ‘what are you doing here?’

[All Laugh]

John: Yeah. And Parker says the same thing back to her. And at that point the characters were so well established, it was really here's the setting just throw the actors in. You know what the responses are gonna be.

Dean: Right.

John: I think it was Lawrence Block who said, ‘you really know your characters when you know if they walk across a dark room and bang their shin on the coffee table what they're gonna say.’

[All Laugh]

John: And that's a quick reminder that she knows Nate’s wife Maggie; that she would recognize her to establish the stakes down there. And this is great, by the way, that's a green screen behind them. This is shot in the upstairs of the-

Dean: Of the same airport.

Chris: Same airport.

John: Yeah, this is the second floor.

[All Laugh]

John: And that's really the crux in shooting TV is, we've got a lot of locations for, you know, a TV show. Which we have to because you can't con people in your office. I mean we’re not a hospital show or lawyer show - we can't just go to the courtroom, so really the location managers job is to find someplace we can do four or five different looks at. And finding locations that do that...

Dean: So difficult.

John: Yeah, it's incredibly difficult.

Dean: Now you know we talked in the first part of this two part season finale about how we worked a little bit backwards, that we saw the location first and then kinda said alright well let's rejigger the script to match this. Well one of the things that I liked very much was these four stories.

John: Yeah.

Dean: Of the main museum. So quite dutifully, you guys wrote action on three different floors simultaneously.

John: Screw you Devlin!

Chris: Dutifully? I remember being there at the time going ‘John we already worked this out!’ ‘Shut up, shut up. He wants it this way! Figure it out!’

John: I will say, this is because we’re all very good friends and you often- the whole idea is that you're allowed to argue with your friends when you’re making television. Dean had brought us to this location we had really planned out the perfect crime and then we show up he's like, ‘it's got four stories, it's completely open, and I want rappelling.’ And we walk into the room and he was like, ‘what do you think?’ ‘I’m sorry Dean, it's gonna take me more than 30 seconds to come up with another perfect crime!’ And we lived there. We literally lived there for two days just walking around looking at it and pulling out notes of other con stuff we hadn't done.

Chris: God bless you, figured it out a way to work in the rappelling and all we lost was the hazmat suits.

John: Yeah, all we lost was the hazmat suits. We’ll use the hazmat suits in season 2.

Dean: Well this sequence not only is it on three different floors, but they all have to see each other at some point and I remember-

John: That was our vengeance, by the way, ‘like okay you want four floors? Here's four floors Devlin! Shoot this!’

Dean: Well at the end of the shooting day, I was in a pancic because I didn't know if what I had done was actually gonna cut together. And I remember coming here that night-

John: You cut a rough draft of this version that night after we wrapped like a 14 hour day.

Dean: We came here cause I was so nervous that I didn't have the coverage and our- Sunny Baskin cut this episode and he's a brilliant editor, and he'd already roughed in something by the end-

Chris: Terrific.

John: Oh that's great, knowing that you'd be freaking out.

Dean: And it was amazing.

John: That's the glass by the way. That's the glass from the first season finale.

Dean: First part.

John: Yeah, it’s basically in that episode.

Chris: 12 Step, too.

John: Yeah.

Dean: Yeah they keep passing it back and forth.

John: In the first episode it's Sterling to Nate and the challenge is to you sir, and in this one it’s Nate to Sterling and the challenge is to you sir. And the idea is that in their friendship the glass became like this sort of-

Dean: It's the glove.

John: Yeah, exactly.

Chris: Maybe talk a little bit about this location. This is not actually a museum this is a-

John: This is the campus building where we see briefly in the first half. And yeah, utterly abandoned and- the fact that he just gets a cheap shot in there is lovely.

Dean: I always love how these guys always try to get a- and again that's a call back to the pilot, when in the reverse situation, Aldis bangs Eliot's head against the car door putting him inside.

John: Just to give him a little something back. Yeah, you can really watch like the pilot and then the two part season finale and match a lot of them shot to shot.

Chris: One of them’s coming up.

John: Yeah.

Chris: One of the iconic shots.

John: Oh yeah the pull up. The car, that’s right.

Chris: Yeah the car, yeah.

John: And yeah, so we had a basically had the place- the run of the place and then we built this entire- this is Lauren Crasco she built the entire lobby to a museum. I've been in museums that don't look this good.

Chris: Look at that.

Dean: Here's a classic comedy beat.

John: Which we rarely do.

Dean: That I've just always wanted to do.

[All Laugh]

John: Oh and by the way that's Gina just realizing she needs to take off the shoes, that’s not written at all. And timing them to come out, Aldis is still handcuffed.

Chris: This is it. I love this, I love this so much.

Dean: This is to match the pilot, when they come out of the the first heist.

John: That matches the first heist, except the first one they're in control, in this one they're almost about to get caught. It's almost like the directors thought about this. This location I love. This is up the hill from the college.

Dean: Right.

John: This was on the campus.

Chris: And this was the president of the college lived there?

John: I don’t know, but this was a night- this was built by like a steel magnate in the 20s, right?

Dean: That's right.

John: And it had a swimming pool, an abandoned swimming pool in the basement.

Dean: Indoor, underground swimming pool and a strange bar area downstairs. It was very-

Chris: Right out of Raymond Chandler.

Dean: Totally.

John: It was! You totally expected to find the like a dead flapper on the concrete down there. It was very- it was really great house. And this became our favorite headquarters. As much as I love the offices we had, there was something about just the looseness of the- well, the space was lit beautifully, I mean, it really was gorgeous.

Dean: Again, hats off to Dave Connell, our DP.

John: It was really gorgeous.

Chris: If we ever get to do the Leverage tour, come to LA we'll take you walking around this.

John: We’re thinking about doing that just to make a little money for second season.

Dean: This is- this scene is a scene that I think is particularly well written, and fun for the actors to play because it's driving home why this team is apart, and watching how Nate pulls them back together again.

John: It's interesting that- it's an interesting arc over the course of the season, where he doesn't want to lead them, they talk him into it, and by the end of it he realizes whether he wants to or not, he has to pull them back together in order for everyone to get the closure that they need, including him.

Dean: And you do get a sense that he really does love these people.

John: Yes; in in his own broken way, you know, he understands that they need each other.

Dean: There's a very subtle thing he'll do in a minute when he does this whistle, and everyone makes their way over to look at the plans, and of course being who they are they cant help but wanna solve the crime. But if you just watch Tim Hutton's face as he's slowly backing away, watching them look at the plans, it tells you more about how his character feels about the other characters than really anything else he says .

John: ‘Oh look at that, aren’t you hooked?’

Dean: It's such a daddy looking at his kids discovering a toy.

Chris: Yeah.

John: Oh there you go, you're absolutely hooked. And that's the whole psychology; he chased them, he knows them, and to a great degree they're all as broken as he is. They have to solve the problem; they just don't have the same skills he does, you know, which gives us the later the hitter, hacker, grifter, thief.

Dean: And it shows, again, his profiling skills. His ability to kinda be two steps ahead in the chess game.

John: I love- And then he does the kind of lay down the law scene and talks them through it. It’s a lovely little scene.

Dean: This is a little inside baseball...

John: Well that’s what we’re here for.

Dean: When we shot this scene, I thought he did a terrific performance and we cut it together - everyone thought it was, but Tim listened to the way he did the lines as he walks forward and says this thing about ‘I already told them’ and he said, “I wanna redo that.”

John: Wanted ADR it?

Dean: Yeah. There was no reason to on a technical level, he just felt he could do something special with it, so he came in here and lo and behold, he did elevate it just a subtle amount, but it was absolutely worth doing. And one of those things that really only someone who really knew their character inside and out, could tell.

John: Yeah and a guy who’s directed. You know, the director part of his brain was like, ‘yeah you could have got a little more out of that’. And this is, again, with the food there, this is the kind of recurring theme. This is their snacks, this is their home, this is their living room, this is what they do for fun.

Dean: Yeah. They enjoy this stuff.

John: ‘Biblical’

Dean: This was the level little twist on, you know, we do a lot of scenes where everybody walks out of the room and we linger on Nate thinking. Here's, like, the opposite.

John: Yeah, because he knows he's in control at this point; he absolutely knows what he's gonna do. He's got an agenda, he's walking in with purpose every time. It’s- by the way, it's interesting, when you got a five hander - trying to get people in and out of these goddamn rooms.

Dean: Oh boy.

John: And the blocking and in writing you know we try to help- the writers try to help the directors, trying to split it up and make sure they're not all there at any given point, but then you have to cook up, you know, there's a lot of times Nate walks into the room with purpose and you have no idea what purpose. It just- obviously he's got stuff to do, and it starts the scene.

Chris: There's just something about the lighting and the way this whole-

John: This became our favorite location.

Chris: It's a really warm and I don't know what it was about it.

John: Yeah, and this is the low tech scene the plans and stuff. This kinda really brought home our love of process, because here's the thing, we spend a lot of time in the writers room trying to figure out how to do these crimes. That's our process scene. So we’re bored with that then we just write the heist. And this was really because the character beats were coming across in the process. When we went back to it, you know like, season 2, you can do a lot more stuff than just them hanging out, figuring out crimes. I like watching them do it. I genuinely enjoy watching them do it.

Chris: We kept wanting to make better screens. ‘We need screens where its like Minority Report where they touch the screen and they move the pictures’ and here they've got planes, and there’s paper.

Dean: Drawings and strings.

John: And the emotional agenda .

Dean: Yeah.

John: They're all basically- It's a Sophie/Eliot and Hardison/Parker scene, happening at the same time Nate is trying to get them to plan the con.

Dean: I love the reminder here, you know, of how angry Eliot is at Sophie for having betrayed-

John: Yeah, he does not forgive her; he will not forgive her until, you know.

Dean: Until he gets an apology.

John: And to me there was always- we played around with a scene we never wrote, where Hardison basically talks him into it, and it was a Hardison/Eliot scene that kind of focused on their relationship, but honestly this things jammed, we just didn't have time. There's a lot going on.

Dean: Yeah. Well in fact, there's some lovely scenes that were cut from this episode that will come back, you know, which is when Parker steals the pills-

John: Oh yeah!

Dean: -and Aldis does the woman who's overdosing.

John: The dying grandma! The dying grandma.

Chris: Oh, that was great.

John: That's right we shot that, too. Can we put that on the extras?

Dean: That'll definitely be on the deleted scenes on this DVD.

John: Theres an entire separate con, to set up the museum con, that we never see and then we just cover it in a line. And it works, it works fine.

Dean: But it's a fun scene to see.

John: Who is that? Who is that gentleman sneezing?

Dean: This would be- we call him the king of hold, affectionately. I first worked with Erick Avari in Stargate where he played Kasuf, the leader of the other planet. He did a small part for me in Independence Day, and then the second Librarian movie, he played main villain and we brought him all the way to Africa. And he worked for 2 days and be off for a week, he’d work for a day, be off for a week, so we called him the king of hold.

John: Digital shutters there.

Dean: Digital shutters, but mirroring the actual shutters that were actually there.

John: There were real shutters there - that was one of the attractions of it. And then I love, however, when they say, ‘okay we can turn them on for you’ and we’re all ready, we’re all gathered to get test footage and everything-

Chris: ‘Better put your earplugs in, these are gonna be pretty loud.’

John: We turn the thing and the alarm starts going off and they come down at about an inch an hour.

Dean: Right. [Laughs]

John: [sound effects] Like, okay, that was somewhat less dramatic than we had hoped for. And so we wound up building- we wound up shooting it actually then speeding it up.

Dean: And then mixing it with some digital ones, that's right.

John: I love, by the way, the opening of this - if young actors, if you go back to the beginning of the scene, you can watch Mark Sheppard subtly upstage everyone. It's not super subtle, but it's just a nice stage technique.

Dean: And Kari, in her recognizing the man who was flirting with her at the party, just gives such a great little performance.

John: ‘Oh, yeah.’ That's also an interesting look that kind of really established that Kari and Sheppard knew each other from when he was Nate’s friend. And there was a softness in that relationship I wasn’t expecting. This is great. And this is something we almost never play.

Chris: Yeah.

John: This is Nate and Eliot bickering, which we almost never do. And Chris by the way-

Dean: And Eliot having the upper hand.

John: Yes. And Chris, by the way, plainly using the voice he uses when he seduces women. This is not Eliot by any stretch- plainly Chris Kane putting on the phone voice.

Dean: And this end here was all improv. And it was just great.

John: Well the hot coffee bit, cause it's really, it’s funny, ‘cause I-

Dean: The ‘you're putting your hair up?’ ‘I’m being the-’

John: ‘-the professor dude!’ I love that. That's all improvised. She probably just wants some hot coffee was great. Chris came up to me right before they shot this like, ‘how dirty?’ And I was like, ‘medium dirty.’

[All Laugh]

John: This is shot in the front yard of one of the university buildings that looks like a frickin cafe. We just, you know.

Dean: Yeah it was such a great location, we just lived there.

Chris: And this was on the stage.

John: Yeah. Inside in the van. And this is great because, again, Nate’s not comfortable. Nate not in control is not good, and this is kind of where we gave Kari all the complaints the other characters had about Nate for her to vocalize, so they could kind of- it was cathartic to the group to here someone else say this.

Dean: And then the kick on the ground to say he was terrible in bed.

John: Just a little- I love the reactions everyone did there - how uncomfortable he plays knowing that Nate is watching.

Dean: Watching everything.

John: Yeah, exactly. Kari really takes a ridiculous amount of delight in here. I often wonder what Tim was like as a director for Kari to launch in to this quite so [mumbles]. She really dug in on that bit.

Dean: Tim gets to play such a reversal here, given that he's always in control, he's always the one whos withholding, and now he's trying to explain-

John: Oh, I love parkers ‘Ooh, there's no save from that’. Yeah, he’s trying to explain- Tell you what, again, the joy of a television show is that the characters change, the actors- you have 12 hours to find what these actors can do. Nate being somewhat annoyed and out of his depth is definitely becoming the kind of the season 2 vibe.

Chris: Yeah

Dean: Oh yeah.

John: He's just- its a bit more they need him in the life more than he needs to be.

Chris: I love her eating gummy bears, too. Sitting there and...

John: Yeah, ‘I feel used’. And it was interesting, cause the originally that was done with them offstage, and seeing them sort of framed there really opens up the space and, you know. ‘Going great. Going great.’ And that’s, again, the old friends vibe that's kind of everyone's locked into at this point.

Dean: Now this is an interesting bit, because it starts off with a bit of humor and it becomes literally the most dramatic scene of the entire series. And the pay off to everything that we set up about the son in the pilot.

John: Now we shot the death of the son full on. We shot the entire sequence when we did the pilot, right? So that we could use that footage- we never used the footage in the pilot.

Dean: Well we used just the beginning part where he's looking at this son, but we never used the part where he ran in and picks his son up.

John: And you had argued, correctly, you had argued that this is really dramatic, it would throw off the tone, the pilots supposed to be light, and I was like, ‘ahh you don't really see what happens’ and I will admit the first time I saw this cut together, I cried. I was like, ‘You’re right, this was devastating.’ Not only for the performance in the flashback, but what Tim is doing live.

Chris: Well, I mean, his- to me he carries the whole thing.

John: Yeah.

Chris: Not even that scene.

John: You don't even need the flashback, but the flashback plus this is devastating.

Dean: And we parsed it out over the course of the season. We saw a little bit more every time we did the flash, it was a little bit longer than the last time. And here we played it out and then of course, we got to bring Kari into the flashback which is really the coda of that.

Chris: And Dean, what went into setting it here? I mean, did you think about other places indoors?

John: For example, one without a fountain 8 feet from the actors?

Chris: No, no but I’m just saying, it would have been...

John: I'm giving him shit.

Chris: You know was- what went into that?

Dean: I thought it was actually trying to go against the cliche of it being night and dark and gloomy. That if it's a beautiful setting, its outdoors, it's a little bit, you know, the thing where if you're gonna break up with your girlfriend, you wanna be in a public place.

Chris: Right, right.

Dean: Well, he’s about to tell her the most painful, private thing in the world, so he's doing that someplace where its gonna be easy to escape if this goes horribly wrong.

John: And thats whats- there’s an interesting there's an interesting moment here where he says,’if you looked at me the way I look at myself, I'd blow my head off’. Nate is fully capable of deal with his own self-loathing. He could not deal with the idea, the concept, that she would stop loving him or hate him. And that's why he kept the secret and that's what destroyed their marriage.

Dean: And look at how he brings it here, this is such a wonderful performance.

John: Yeah. And by the way, we shot this pretty much continuously; he falls apart during the course of the performance in one long take, really. You could watch that take and just watch the entire thing.

Dean: And after the second take, I thought, you know, he must be spent, and I wanted him to get one more moment and I said, “Do you have another one in you?” And he looked at me like ‘Oh yeah, keep- I could go all day.’

Chris: Do you remember what take this was?

Dean: I don't. But I would imagine it was fairly early cause he really- he nailed it right off the bat.

John: Every now and then it’s like, ‘Oh that’s right: Oscar. This is the-

Dean: This is the part of the flashback you didn't see in the pilot, but it was all shot at the same time.

John: And just, yeah. And man, even the day we shot it it was heartbreaking.

Dean: It absolutely was.

John: And actually, Tim has a son about this age, and just flailing. And there's Kari just- And I will fully admit, I am occasionally overly poetic when writing, but there's absolutely some stuff that was written - which is when she steps in the doorway, Maggie realizes she's lost her son, but Nate has lost his mind. And that’s- His sanity, his sense of self worth, everything was destroyed. She had a tragedy, he was destroyed. He will never be the same human being again. And the actors- really great. That's the good thing about writing - you just write something really pretty and let other people do the heavy lifting. [Laughs] ‘Okay, turn this into something that makes people cry. I'm breaking for lunch.’

Dean: And then just so we didn’t end on too heavy a beat, we remind- we bring the plot back in.

John: Oh you hate him so much here. By the way, I love the fact every time we have a ‘Oh, I love my characters.’ ‘Oh, I hate him.’ You really juxtapose Mark Sheppard - Sterling - coming in. It's like, ‘Oh, they've just made up and now you're gonna be mean to Kari? Oh you bastard.’

Chris: There we go! String!

Dean: String!

John: This is the biggest cheat ever! And that's how the plot will work.

[All Laugh]

Chris: Oh come on, that goes back to the Greeks!

John: That does.

Chris: Who was the first person that came up with the-

John: In media res, that’s what it is.

Chris: And thats how its gonna go. Any questions?

John: It was one of those things where - how do we do pipe that doesn't blow how the con’s gonna work, but shows that we’re planning? Don't. Just come in. Oh. Oh my God, this-

Dean: My favorite Parker moment of the entire series.

John: Why does Parker sniff her? I don't understand.

Dean: It's the weirdest little moment.

John: And yet it completely makes sense.

Dean: And it’s fabulous.

John: You know what it is? It’s like, ‘is this our new mommy?’ Its like it’s- really, really a weird moment.

Dean: And by the way, not a direction I gave her. It just happened because she knows this character so well and it was just fabulous.

John: And that's the nice little look between Hardison and Nate, that Hardison is indeed reading her mail. Just to be on the safe side. And this is where we launch into - when he says we need that large object moved - we launch into our tribute to Never Send a Boy King to Do a Man's Job, the-

Chris: Sure. The touchstone.

John: The Rockford Files episode. The greatest

Chris: From which all things spring.

John: From which all things spring. And this is great. She just- it’s not like you can just make people do what you want. The fact that everyone's kinda laughing at her - no, we do impossible shit every week.

Dean: You haven't been watching this show, have you? She goes, ‘You're adorable’. And pets her head.

John: Which is, by the way, one of the things I say to someone when they've annoyed me or cut short, so they appropriated it for the moment. The actors actually - it's weird how the actors pick up the writer mannerisms, cause we’re on the set all the time, so there an awful lot of actor writer in-jokes.

Dean: And also sometimes there's second generation. For instance-

John: Seriously.

Dean: Seriously. Started as a thing you would do, it became a thing Amy did, and then the actors pulled it from Amy.

Chris: Yeah.

John: So this- this is great, by the way, again, one of the fact that Nate’s not in control, he's emotionally kind of spun out, and the fact they're telling him, ‘You know what? You were kind of a dick season 1. There are times we like when Sophie- Sophie a little better than you.’

Dean: That's right.

Chris: It's great, too, when you get to add another person to the team. It's not something that we did - we only really did it at the end of the year, and it just kind of mixes things up, changes the dynamics.

John: Opens up the dynamics a lot, yeah. And the idea that Sophie has genuinely come to like Maggie at this point, you just can't not.

Chris: Didn't we-? We lost a little bit of them bonding.

John: Yeah, it was just cut for time. There is a bit where they are having kind of shorthand conversation-

Chris: ‘Oh, and I hate when he-’ ‘Oh this is the worst thing that he does.’ ‘It's terrible.’

John: It kinda went by the wayside, but yeah, they're pretty good friends by this point. See you learn and you con.

Dean: One of my favorite lines.

John: See Nate? Sometimes you know what? You don't have to be so imperious all the time man. And yes and this is- a lot of the little bits here are from Apollo dropping us all those, sort of, loose notes he gave us about cons; like little ways to make people believe you that we worked in.

Dean: Persuasion techniques.

John: Persuasion techniques, and letting him finish it, and never give him the information. Let them completely the information in their heads. And the- you know glasses switch. What was i gonna say the- so yes, so it's a this episode this segment is based on a famous Rockford files episode written by Juanita Rosenberg?

Chris: Juanita Rodriguez. Juanita Bartlett.

John: Bartlett. Which is their big con episode and both Chris and I had watched when we were kids, and really set the standard for big con episodes on television. So we were literally stuck thinking, ‘Alright, Dean has shown us this location, we have now come up with a way to hide everything-’

Chris: ‘Things we could use in a museum. Mummies?’

John: It became what large object could we use to hide the door? And we literally said, ‘Well, I mean, if we're writing Rockford Files, it'd be a mummy. But there's no way we can do that here…’ Well who's stopping us?

Dean: By the way, Gina doing the fantastic, very specific Iranian accent.

Chris: Yes, yes.

Dean: And you probably- most people in America won't even recognize it, with the exception of thinking, ‘Gosh she sounds like Christiane Amanpour.’

[All Laugh]

John: No that was- she was actually- the great thing is, Gina originally- when she’d come back and forth from London, sometimes she'd stay at this hotel, and so when we'd give her an accent she would go down to the bar and just try to find if any of the guests were from there, and then she would hit them up.

Chris: Oh that's great.

John: So yeah, for some of the promos and stuff when she was speaking different languages and stuff, that’s where she got the phrases from.

Dean: She's great in this scene.

John: Just a little distant, a little- just carrying the pipe, not try to sell anything. I like her hair that way, actually. She cut her hair.

Chris: Very 40’s. She had a very 40’s kind of-

John: Very 40’s vibe.

Dean: This was a fun bit you guys came up with.

John: Well again, the idea that we believe the information that's put directly in front of our face. There's so much information on the web, and something happened the week before - one of those things you read and you believe turns out to be fake, just an internet joke that everyone bought into, is we trust the web, we trust Wikipedia, we trust everything on the web, and it doesn't occur to us to think that someone would put a path of lies directly-

Dean: -in front of us.

Chris: Right, right.

John:- in front of us.

Dean: By the way, that's one of our writers, Amy Berg, as one of the professors.

John: Amy Berg, writer of-

Chris: And our prop guy, Eric Bates.

John: Our prop guy, Bates, is one of our other dead archeologists. And the guys just having fun here. Really it's just point the camera at this point. Just kinda slide back and forth and assume they're gonna do something amusing. And then she brings her in for the close out. Lauren Crasco, great job this is the- where is this?

Dean: This is a little auditorium in that same compound that we did the museum and everything else and decorated to be a presentation room for an Egyptian exhibit.

John: Also, you'll notice, by the way, that it's a small writing thing, but it's somewhat satisfying. First off, the virus she describes exists and is real. Because we originally when we were pitching out the mummy's curse. ‘Okay, no one's gonna believe the mummy's curse, he's just an idiot if he believes in the curse.’ Well where did the curse come from? And that led us to this infection, the spore infection-

Dean: -the infection.

Chris: -the spores, yeah.

John: But the thing she uses to distract him, which is ‘you came to my office to talk about the benches, now you sign the purchase orders for the benches.’ The benches are the key to the entire final heist. Shes using his state here, the rest of the con, to set up the final con. And now putting the deadly, deadly mummy away as one would.

Chris: Please get that away from me.

John: And we know they're up to something. And this was actually, Amy Berg wrote this scene. We realized that we were going into the back part of the finale without resolving the Eliot/Sophie bit. And we were kinda stacked and Amy was hanging out for free, honestly she was just really just-

Chris: We were very tired.

John: We were very tired.

Dean: But the thing she brought to this scene that I think is so interesting, is it's the apology without ever having the ability to say you're sorry.

John: Well that's a lot of the writers room. We’re really very emotionally shut down in there.

Dean: So this is, as an actor, that's a very interesting thing to play. She needs to convey that she's sorry, but her character would never ever say she's sorry.

John: Actually the other great thing Amy came up with here, is the idea that we’re seeing the last one, not the first one.

Dean: Right.

John: And how that would annoy him. There's a lot of great little dynamics in this scene.

Chris: It's really nice.

John: I gotta say its a nice piece of work

Chris: Within a very, you know, fast paced episode, it's also nice to take minute.

John: Stop.

Chris: Kinda do some character stuff.

John: Close it out. We feel that we’ve resolved the emotional issue from the first half. By the way, the little thing that Chris spins, everything you notice he does it in almost every episode. I’m always… ‘Do you practice? Do you go home and practice?’

Chris: He did it with the beer, too.

John: Yeah! And he's like, ‘Of course I go home and practice. I would never do something if I don't practice.’ It’s like, damn. Yes the idea that he's genuinely annoyed he wasn't apologized to first, it's a complicated little scene for-

Dean: It is. And for me the thing that really makes the whole thing work, is the thing that brings them together, is the painting from the Homecoming episode.

John: Which is metaphorically their home.

Dean: Their home. And it's such a weird painting.

John : It really is. My own attachment to it has grown quite unnatural. Yeah a little left. That house was insane. I can't believe we had this.

Chris: Yeah, it was great.

Dean: What an amazing location.

John: And that little look he gives him like, ‘Okay. We're done here, we’re okay.’

Dean: Now in the lexicon of music that we use, this is probably the most over the top ‘dun dun dun.’

John: Well of course he's evil, look at him! Oh look, oh she's so nice, oh now she's worried, I hate him so much!

Dean: I love it.

John: Yeah. When we were screening this, I actually couldn't help but-

Chris: Well he gets amped up to make the act break pop.

John: A little bit.

Dean: This is a fun bit. And talk about how you guys came up with this idea that he's talking about each character, not realizing that those character are right in front of him. How did that bit come about?

Chris: Oh yeah. I think I remember I wrote this a 2 o'clock in the morning and then-

John: Yeah, and then I put a shine on it for the choreography because I had been in the location a little bit more than you had.

Chris: Yeah, I think it was just- the purpose of it was basically to set the jeopardy - that this guy was going- that Mark Sheppard’s character, Sterling, was gonna-

John: That's what it was. We had originally done the montage to see everybody going into place because we wanted the audience to know geographically where they were, because geography in a heist is crucial. You must establish where everyone is so the audience isn't wondering. And you had done the great thing of like, what horrible things he had planned to reset the jeopardy, and it was literally page count wise, the act was long and it was once one of those things where - would it work if we jammed it together? And we jammed it together and it absolutely worked.

Dean: Well the lovely byproduct became this hide-in-plain-sight.

Chris: Yeah.

Dean: That the last place you'd look is right in front of your nose.

John: Exactly. And the little look of amusement to Sophie, that, ‘You're good Shepherd, you're not that good.’

Chris: Yeah, yeah.

John : And Nate Ford ending on the arrival of Nate.

Chris: Nate Ford. And I love the idea that he shows up - he bought a ticket.

John: Bought a ticket. Yeah. Nate Ford's superpower is finding the easiest, simplest way to do things. That's when everybody else overthinks it. Because, you know, the rest of this act is so simple.

Chris: Oh yeah.

John: Oh my god. Wow, nice shot.

Dean: Yes. This is, again, one of our 360 shots, but only taken to one revolution to end right on the, ‘we're gonna get him and we're gonna throw him into jail.’

John: This is also nice because we've established, and again, it’s because Mark does an excellent job, we've established that Sterling is very, very scared. He's beaten the team in the previous episode. So by showing Sterling start to get a little worried here, you're actually both empowering your own character and letting the audience know they should be getting anxious.

Dean: And this was nice, him going back and reviewing the tapes.

John: Cause he saw it. He saw it earlier, and now he's like, ‘this is not right.’

Chris: I love that little look - the turn of the head.

John: The little turn of the head, yeah.

Chris: Just disgusted by it.

Dean: Erick is so terrific.

John: Good sneeze; that was an improv too. The tissues here. It was a prop to do it.

Dean: And I love Tim’s look during this. The whole thing is evolving around and he's sitting there eating popcorn.

John: I don't even know how you get popcorn in a museum. It's just great. Look how great that lobby looks. That absolutely looks like the lobby of a New York museum I’ve been in. That's really fantastic that we built that- Lauren built that, so you can shoot 360 in there.

Dean: And again, almost everything we’re looking at in this act is steadicam, you know what I mean? Poor Gary Camp was lugging that thing around nonstop.

John: Well that's your rule, right? That's your rule - once we go to the action, if the con is going smoothly, we go to steadicam.

Dean: Exactly.

John: And we’re in. And the entire act’s the con.

Dean: Right. So poor Gary was lugging that thing the whole time.

John: And we’re shooting the RED which is a little lighter at least.

Dean: At least.

John: At least. How much does the RED weigh?

Dean: Well with all the bells and whistles, probably around 45 pounds.

John: So he's got 45 pounds on his shoulder.

Dean: And the rig.

Chris: Here's comedy, folks.

John: And that's a mummy. That is big sitcom writing right there, ladies and gentlemen.

Chris: And, you know, if you're gonna use a sarcophagus like that, the thing you're gonna assume is somebody's in it.

John: Right. And that's- originally, at one point, we played with that and then said well no, we wouldn't be in there.

Chris: [Mumbles unintelligibly.]

John : That’s Chekhov's rule, actually. If you put a mummy in the first act, it has to go off in the third act.

Chris: Right here's our magic box.

John: Here's our magic box, where we had to- man the set designers just killed themselves designing this thing, because it's actually functioning.

Chris: That's actually- that's functioning.

Dean: Right. And I love this little bit, that they're all just- cause really nothing's going on there except they're synchronizing watches, but it’s such a nice visual, and it's such a nice thing seeing the team is now together and the plan is now afoot.

John: And for the audience it is 3, 2, 1, GO, and it's really a reset that now is when enormous amounts of fun will start. And by the way, it runs roughly real time.

Chris: Oh there it is.

John: I love that look. I love when she does the ‘I'm about to have fun’ look. And by the way, we discovered later, this smoke is real. Tell them about the fogger.

Chris: Oh, the fogger. There is a state of the art security equipment. There now is a fogger, which if you break into a vault-

Dean: Oh and by the way, that’s our first A.D.’s wife Sherri.

John: Yeah. Doing a great job. ‘It's a robbery!’

Dean: So go ahead.

Chris: No, no. At any rate, tt does exist - an impenetrable fog that will be emitted if you break into certain high tech vaults, but this-

John: This was our special effects guys.

Chris: So I’m so happy this came out.

John: But we had to build an actual functioning case that worked with the security.

Dean: Well this next bit here, how did this idea come about?

John: This is absolutely an homage to Thomas Crown, which I wrote the sequel to. This is- this is like, how much absolute blinding chaos can we create? And it's great because we went to Eric in props and were like, ‘It'd be great if- because the entire first act of the show, The First David Job, rests on the fact they are identical. It would be great if we were able to do the same visual reference in the second half. But there's no way you can give us like 40 David statues could you?’ And Eric went, ‘Well I'll figure out a way.’ And on budget and on time, he went out and got us 40 identical-

Dean: He's so remarkable.

Chris: Right. And again, it was to play into what-

Dean: By the way, on the technical level, that is such a difficult steadicam shot. He just did a steadicam shot through a crowd of people. That is so hard.

John: Smoothly. I thought that was the crane. That wasn't the jib?

Chris: That wasn't a crane?

Dean: Nope, that’s Gary on the steadicam, and then he continues it all the way to the door.

John: Oh that’s right, cause he just cut away.

Dean: On a pure technical level, that is a remarkable shot.

John: He's a great operator. There's a lot of stuff we did, that if we didn't have Gary, we'd be in serious trouble.

Dean: And now I get my rappelling scene.

John: Sure, fine.

Chris: There we go folks. Folks, do you know where this came from?

Dean: But the fun of it is it’s Tim doing the rappelling. The last guy we’d expect on the show to do the rappelling.

Chris: There it is.

John: There it is. Boom. And by the way-

Dean: Great stunt.

John: Great stunt. And the happiness, if you actually go back and freeze frame that shot as he lands, you get three entirely different attitudes from the actors. And then he pulls it down and through. And yes, we desperately worked very hard not to kill any of our actors. What was I gonna say? But it is interesting because- how we approached the problem. The original con was that Tim’s the mastermind, and we want to make him the bait. The idea that Sterling’s blind spot is he's afraid of Nate, secretly. And so he would obsess about him and they could use that to drive everyone off. And when it was single rooms and multiple floors that was easier. When it became the big chamber and rappelling, like, well how do we do that? The only place to draw people off is we need to get them out of this chamber, and that birthed a lot of this stuff. And where would you follow Nate? Well it's like Nate would need to get them up on the roof, to get them away to a place where he could get away from them, and they couldn’t follow.

Dean: And they get locked in the box.

John: And that brought us to the rappelling - it brought us to a very cool sequence.

Chris: So when you say here, when Dean says, ‘I want rappelling,’ it can be an interesting sequence. Now I love this shot.

Dean: All kudos to Tim in this scene for just pulling this off.

John: Yeah. Cause this is a guy standing in front of 2 maquettes.

Chris: No its not.

John: By the way, this is beautifully lit.

Chris: It’s beautifully lit, look at this.

John: Yeah, cause are we doing this at night? Is that how we got it so dark? And then we lit it, or-?

Dean: Yeah.

Chris: I think it was night, yeah.

John: Yeah, so the outside’s blown out-

Dean: Yes, that's right. The outside is lit- its night for day.

John: That’s done all the time.

Dean: Sure.

John: Sure! Mad.

Dean: Tim is just brilliant in this scene. I love his sense of accomplishment of revenge.

John: Yup on both guys. And then the big reveal that all the paintings that they’ve stolen, everything but the thing they said they were gonna steal.

Chris: I think that was you Dean, too, wasn’t that? Like we should turn on the lights and all the paintings except the Davids-

Dean: And everything's gone except the Davids. And there's a lovely, again, acting moment between Kari and Tim as Kari is explaining what has just been stolen. And it says miles about their relationship. Right there.

John: Yeah, and she's also calling back to something that [unintelligible]’s character said earlier. Look, there you go, there's a little bit of forgiveness, a little bit of accomplishment, because she is now fully invested in screwing the people who let her son die, you know. Which I kinda feel bad about cause he’s co-opted her in his emotional immaturity. I don't know how I feel about that now that we're looking at it a second time. Kevin’s meltdown here is spectacular, thank you.

Dean: Yeah, it’s a tour de force bad guy meltdown.

John: And then Sterling realizing, checkmate, you know, really- and again, Mark really modulated that character.

Dean: Mark does a great turn here where he realizes- he goes from ‘I’m screwed’, to ‘I win.’

John: Yeah. Mark Sheppard will not let me rest unless I do note in the DVD commentary that at no point does Sterling lose in season 1. He never loses - at worst, it's a tie. And that's what makes him a great nemesis. And this is, of course, an echo from part 1. You know, and that’s why, we start it with- both parts start with each one of those guys holding a gun on the other. It's one of those little filming things. I'm listening. And again you great to see Sterling- what's the strategy here? What's the out? You know he's always trying to salvage something. And also Tim’s choice to ignore the guy with the gun.

Dean: Yeah, the gun is the least threatening thing to him in the world.

Chris: Right.

Dean: You're doing him a favor if you pull that trigger.

John: Yeah and also that the game’s over. You know, in his head he's so far ahead at this point it, you know, it's all gone right that if he dies at this point, it's okay.

Dean: Right. Cause he knows he already won.

John: And it was, again, it was an interesting choice. The flashback, the classic zhoom zhoom, there's really a lot of zhoom.

Chris: The flashback. The this is very much a classic, ‘here’s how I got you.’

John: Yup. It's not the other version, which is: you didn't see part of this scene, it's the oh, you didn't understand the context.

Chris: You didn't realize the significance of it. Which is actually more-

John: -more interesting.

Dean: Well when you watch this, you always think, well for me, it was always why would he tell them in advance he's doing it? And it's all here you go, ahh, that’s why he tells them in advance.

John: You set up, and again, if you kill me now, I can die a happy man, because regardless I have destroyed you. And at this point Sterling’s- I love that little- he realizes.

Dean: This is when he starts to realize, ‘Wait a minute, I’m gonna come out on top,’ and then he loves it. Sterling-

John: Because he's a perfectly amoral bastard. He really is.

Dean: He is. And I love that he switches the gun. He goes from pointing at Nate, to pointing at his own man.

John: Look at him. He's not scared either. It's really we have- we’re definitely working on the Sterling/Nate team up episode for season 2, because Mark really made the character so interesting. It's: ‘Alright, I wanna see what it was like when these two guy actually did it together.’

Chris: Kids, actually be afraid of firearms, not like our characters.

Dean: The way he- the way Tim delivers the line here about, ‘I lost my only son, do you honestly think that you can frighten me?’ It just tells you everything about Nate for this whole season. It's why nothing bothers him anymore. He's already faced the worst thing a human being can ever face.

John: Yeah. And that's part of the challenge is now, is how do we rebuild him? You know, knowing there's a season 2, as opposed to, really, when we did this, we didn't know. And a parallel punch to the first half.

Dean: Right.

Chris: And it's the payoff.

John: It's the payoff punch. And it's the exact same- that Nate did in the first half.

Dean: Except in this one, it knocks him down. Her punch is even harder.

John: We really wanted to give Kari the win there.

Chris: She's very fiery, I buy it.

John: Yeah, I like the smile there, he's kinda proud of her.

Dean: And I love this line here, that ‘this whole plan counted on me being an utter bastard.’

John: Yeah, not just a bastard, and he's perfectly willing to accept that. What was I gonna say? This- it’s really fascinating this location, considering we lived in it, it looks like a million different things. It's really just the same looks back and forth: door to gallery, door to gallery, door to gallery. Different sizes and different people. You know, cause we decorated the entire other half, we dressed, and we never shot that side.

Dean: Not really.

John: We never needed to.

Dean: Just in one passing walk by.

John: Yes, where he goes up to the alarm room. That’s it.

Dean: That's the only time we ever saw that. And this is a nice, connecting the two rooms and realizing how they got all the paintings out of this.

John: Yeah. And the whole idea that down they shot down earlier. And we had to build these benches, and the original con was they were hiding in the benches and then we realized that Hardison - Aldis - is very big and cramming him in this bench would be cruel.

Chris: Yeah that was just-

John: And we wanted to steal all the art, not just some of the art.

Dean: And it was a great gateway to the room below.

Chris: And I love this shot down here, too.

John: This was a 360 in a tiny basement room.

Chris: Tiny.

Dean: With a very very wide-angle lens, which is a tough lens to put on a steadicam.

Chris: And look at that, it ends on this perfectly composed shot right here, I love this.

Dean: Yeah. We've got terrific camera people.

John: And this is the- I think this is the last thing we shot.

Chris: I think it was.

Dean: It was. It was the last day of shooting.

John: -the last day of shooting, and it's weird because I think everyone's playing kind of a weird beat here because it's the last shot.

Chris: Cause we don't know nobody knows- at this point the actors dont know we’re coming back.

Dean: Well it's also because this next scene that's about to play was shot earlier, but the thing I had said - John was standing next to me at the moment I said it.

John: It was very cruel.

Dean: But we were just about to shoot the set, and I wanted to get the right emotions from everyone, so I gathered the actors together and I said, ‘Guys, remember we don't know if we're gonna get a second season. This might be the end of all of it. This might be the finale of the entire series.’ And then I walked off the set.

[All Laugh]

John: And they were wrecked, they were just-

Dean: And you could see it in their performances. It's all there emotionally and they all- everyone of them brought their a-game for this scene.

John: They were genuinely crying. I mean really, they- you worked them up pretty badly. I'm glad we didn't have to shoot anything else after this.

Dean: No, they just nailed it. And frankly, for me, this is my favorite ending of anything I've ever done in my whole career. I love the way this season ended. Because if we didn't get a second season, I would have been fulfilled that I had gotten a complete story.

Chris: We took people on a trip.

Dean: And of course, the- for our listeners here, the hilarity for all of us was when we found out we were picked up for second season, and suddenly John and Chris said, ‘now how the hell do we put these people back together again?’

John: There are times when you’re a little too smart for your own good. And it really was, ‘You know what? Not like those other punk shows that do a cliffhanger. we’re breaking up the team-’

Dean: -and blowing up the offices.

John: -’and blowing up the offices. We have utterly destroyed all vestiges of the template from the first season. Okay we've got a second season. So you've broken up. Huh.’

Dean: Now what do we do?

John: Offices are blown up.

Chris: Oh come on, the audience see they're back. They're back together. Come on.

John: I know, but you know, we- and there's the-

Dean: And there's our callback to the walk away shot.

Chris: It’s beautiful.

John: But this one’s sad. It's a sad walk away. And we did different reactions here, too. Everyone - oh that's nice, Parker crying - we did different reactions here. Everyone had different reactions; we tried different styles and cut together the ones that-

Dean: Gina here is, for me, priceless.

John: Oh that’s an RSC trained actor right there my friends.

Dean: And I love just falling off the cliff here. That there's no resolution whatsoever, we just literally fall off the cliff.

Chris: Ohh.

Dean: Guys, thank you for such an amazing script.

Chris: Dean, thank you.

Dean: And an amazing year.

John: That was a great year.

Dean: I think this was my favorite year, professionally. And It’s all because of you guys, so thank you so much.

Chris: You too, man.

John: I will say thank you, man. It was so great to actually just make the TV show you thought you were gonna make for once.

Chris: Yeah, it is. We did.

Dean: For once, the thing that you wanted to do. Uncompromised.

John: And that’s all of us. All of us got to TNT let us run, and this is what you get. Thank you.

Chris: Thank you very much, Dean.

Dean: Thank you.

#Leverage #Leverage TNT #Leverage Audio Commentary Transcripts #Audio Commentary #Transcripts #Parker #Alec Hardison #Elliot Spencer #Nate Ford #Sophie Deveraux #Season 1 #Episode 13 #Season 1 Episode 13 #The Second David Job

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jamalexlee · 5 years

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Ask me: FANDOM EDITION: Allll of them, please!?

To clarify its for Brooklyn 99

A - Your current OTP: Ok so I have to cheat right out the box - cos I have two. Jake Peralta and Amy Santiago and Captain Raymond Holt and Kevin Cozner. They’re just perfect for each other, so complimentary and so in love - but real you know?

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind Jake and Doug Judy. They are a friendship otp (mostly) but yeah lifelong togetherness. And it was tumblr that got me wondering on this.

C - A pairing you have never liked and probably never will Jake and Amy with anyone that isn’t each other during the show. Brooklyn 99 is better at this than most tv shows but the people introduced solely to keep the will-they-won’t-they couple apart will always annoy me - its just taking air time from the bits of a show I like and forces so much jealousy and stuff - and I’m not into that

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t Rosa Diaz/Adrian Pimento. They just never clicked for me as a couple and she is so out of his league its painful. Not that I’m against Rosa having a boyfriend I actually liked her with Marcus and was upset when they broke up. But yeah…

E - Have you added anything stupid/cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what I don’t think I’ve offered much to the 99 fandom - I mostly reblog others bits and agree or add silly comments.

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? 22 years. I was with Buffy from the get go - and while its got its issues and bits of it hasn’t aged very well I wouldn’t have been the same without this show in my life.

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it? Bangel. The combinded high romance and excruciating pain had me hooked. I still feel it when I watch it all these years later.

H - Do you prefer characters from real action series or anime series? My anime interest has grown over the last few years but action still wins overall - especially since I can’t help loving seeing my favourite characters in pain - and the live action means we get to see the actors and actresses hurt and cry for the sake of the drama - anime can’t compare.

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why? I try not to let tumblr do that to me if I can help it (these days anyway) but (and I realise I could die for this) I have started to dislike corners of the Star Wars fandom due to their treatment of certain characters.

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr. Oh god so many - but… sense8. It was advertised no where so I wouldn’t have known it existed or watched it without tumblr giffing the hell out of it - and wouldn’t that have been a shame.

K - How do you feel about the other people in your current fandom? I’m assuming this is Brooklyn 99 so… I love them. Honestly. Their love kept the show going when it was cancelled allowing us to continue enjoying this wonderful funny show.

L - Your favorite fanartist/author gives you one request, what do you ask for? @lupismaris please please more chapters for But Alone is Alone (Not Alive)

M - Your favorite fanart or fanartist? I’m so bad with names - but I’m hoping the upcoming Silverflint Big Bang and rarepairing weeks will teach me the names better.

N - Your favorite fanfiction or fanauthor? See above - I have so many I love but I suck with names.

O - Choose a song at random, which OTP does it remind you of? Only Love Can Hurt Like This - Paloma Faith - and Silverflint. Seriously there’s a fanvid to this on Youtube that fits them so well.

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas): Black Sails - Thomas comes to Nassau instead of Flint going to him. There are so many characters I need him to meet on that island. Feel free to have him arrive in earlier season to meet characters that totally didn’t die (vane cough cough) - and p.s. I’m total Silverflinthamilton trash so yeah…

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why? Destiel. I hung on to this for far longer than I should have mostly because I couldn’t handle the truth of this pairing - that it was world-class queerbaiting of the highest degree - mind you I stayed with Supernatural for longer than was sane too (9 seasons god help me)

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships. Is there actually a ship in any fandom that no one has ever thought of before? I mean even as Crack!fic it’ll have been done. I guess my closest is Joshua Donovan and Steve Jinx from Warehouse 13 - I don’t know if anyone ever put those two together and its a small fandom

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon: I don’t really have a personal headcanon for Brooklyn 99 - I agree with a bit of fanon that’s gotten popular - Bi!Jake. Honestly I kinda love the idea of Jake having been oblivious and accidentally had a boyfriend without him realising - and it being played by John Mulaney.

T - If you mostly have homoships, do you have any heteroships? Bangel, Peraltiago, Willow/Oz, Fred/Gunn - though I should mention that I headcanon one or both of these couples as bi so… not totally hetero.

U - If you mostly have heteroships, do you have any homoships? I mostly ship queer ships - its just a fact. And if I ship it I’ll reblog about it - probably more than people would like honestly.

V - Are you one of those fans who can’t watch anything without shipping? Don’t be daft. But on the same token - why’s it bad if you do? Shipping is just another part of fandom. Another avenue of interest and discussions to have in your fandom. And why would you deny yourself an extra dimension of enjoyment.

W - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms: Ok so not choosing Black Sails for this because how in the hell do you pick just one favourite character in that? I’m changes several times a day. Honestly I’d struggle to do a top 10. So Tara Maclay, Buffy The Vampire Slayer - I saw so much of myself in her when that show first came out and she was a very important character - and I’m still pissed about what the show did to her. Captain Raymond Holt, Brooklyn 99 - god what a character, so much too long about him and he is a complete character flaws and all. Wynonna Earp - I love this woman soo much - and not just because the actress that plays her is a goddess either (honest), Dave Lister, Red Dwarf - I’m literally watching it right now - and honestly it was the first time I’d heard my own accent on television and I fell in love immediately and The Doctor - honestly a favourite character that can be a totally different character from one season to another? Classic - this character hasn’t been used the best yet (seriously why always white and why so long to be present as female?) The Doctor is still unique and wonderful character I’ve loved many versions of.

X - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms: Silverflint - there’s just so much in that relationship so much to work with, unpack, rewrite and do with it - you’d never run out of things to do with it - especially if like me you’re cool with either Hamilton or Madi added in (or all of the above), Holmes/Watson - in all versions in all mediums they are soulmates in all of them and I’ll never get bored of these two together, Posner/Scripps - it never happened in canon but it should have - Scripps is oblivious but totally in love with Posner and Posner knows - Scripps will figure it out in University and they will live happily ever after.

Y - A fandom you’re in but have no ships from: The IT Crowd - I don’t ship anyone there. Not really anyway.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go: Black Sails is awesome - if you haven’t watched it go do it now - you won’t regret it - but fair warning it’ll ruin all other shows for you.

#Ask me fandom edition #I know I've answered them all but some are for only one fandom soo...

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sophiainspace · 6 years

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Character Meme: Ray Palmer

@airyalmost gave me: Ray Palmer (Legends of Tomorrow/Arrow)

Ah, Raymond.

- How I feel about this character I wasn't lonely. I was just choosing to focus on my studies. - Ray, LoT 3x04 ‘Phone Home’

Ray’s mother: He's always sneaking off into the woods and bringing back strays... I just wish Ray would make normal friends, you know? I mean, he'd rather spend his time with his animals and movies or his weird inventions. Sometimes I worry that he just gets lost in his own head. Ray: She always said she liked my inventions. - LoT 3x04 ‘Phone Home’

So autistic!Ray is very important to me. There’s an argument to be made that a few of the Arrowverse characters are autistic-coded - but not in the same way that Ray is. It’s practically canon (see 3x4 Phone Home), and yet they’ve never said it. This is an eternal problem for autistic people. Sometimes we identify autistic/ND people on our shows/in our fiction. And then neurotypical people tell us we see autism everywhere. Well, if you never saw people like you on screen you’d be looking for them too... Autistic people seriously lack canon representation - rarely will a character be overtly identified as autistic even if they’re coded/can be read that way (e.g. Sylvia Tilly from Star Trek: Discovery - the actor broke my heart when she tweeted that she didn’t intend for Tilly to be read as autistic. Gee, thanks for killing my headcanon…)

So, yeah. I identify Ray as autistic - bite me. Episode 3 of this season kind of broke my heart while also making me happy. The way Ray’s mother talks about him is the way that my parents often talked about me. @jewishlorca has this fic with Ray getting lost in cartoons, in a way that is exactly how I watch TV... It’s really rare that a more sensitive autistic person is represented, and that’s what I see going on with Ray. I don’t think he’s always oblivious (unlike when he was a child). I think he knows he can be different, that he’s not socially great, that he annoys people with his enthusiasm. I think that’s part of why he’s not had very successful relationships, too. He clearly overwhelmed Felicity with attention, and loved Kendra more than she loved him. He goes all in on things and people he loves. It tends to make NT people uncomfortable when an autistic/neurodivergent person is deeply devoted to a thing (a person, a book, a movie, a TV show, a food, I could go on…) That level of loving things, that ability to hyperfocus on them to the exclusion of everything else, is not socially acceptable. I think Ray knows that and does those things anyway, because that’s who he is. He’s the person who loves from the depths of his soul, who’s devoted to his work, who’d do anything for his teammates. The team gets a bit confused by this (even though they love him really). But I like that he doesn’t back down. He just keeps doing his thing - developing the Atom suit, falling hard for someone, or organising team bonding exercises with trust falls. And I love him for it.

To put headcanons aside for a bit: there’s just so much I like about Ray. My heart breaks for his lack of self esteem which is clearly there but which he’s so sunny about on the surface (there was a line last week about not getting the girl but getting a life of adventure and it betrayed an underlying loneliness and argh someone give him a hug). His enthusiasm is lovely. He cares about people. He never backs down from a challenge (even if he sometimes has a little wobble about it). He took time to grow on me, and he’s easier to relate to in Legends than in Arrow - but he’s just generally wonderful.

- All the people I ship romantically with this character

OK, I’m just going to whisper this. I don’t ‘get’ shipping like some people get shipping. It’s cute to see Ray paired with almost everyone, but he’s also worth seeing in a story that’s all his own. The coldatomies have brought me round to their way of thinking, simply because their writing is so much fun. I also like atomwave because I can see how it could work, and because Ray’s personality clashes with Mick in fics are hilarious. (Mick’s never going to understand Ray’s overly enthusiastic approach to anything, but I can totally see him getting used to it, and eventually, secretly liking it.) I’ve also read some lovely Ray/Anna fics (either of their life before her death, or him reflecting on her after) that are sad but so sweet. But mostly I just want to watch (or at least read) The Time Travelling Adventures of Ray Palmer Whose Friends Love Him and Make Him Feel Better About Being Him. This is basically going to be my response for all characters on the shipping thing OK :P

- My unpopular opinion about this character

Well, the stuff above about him being autistic has made some people annoyed with me. Don’t care, still see it. Shipping him with guys is sometimes unpopular, and he isn’t overtly written as bi, but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t be. (Straight does not have to be the default. Not even for a bit of a bro like Ray.)

- One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Could they just address the guy’s self-esteem issues as a problem once, rather than just using them as a source of comic lines? That’s Legends for you, always going for the laugh. They did show him feeling useless after he lost the Atom suit, but there’s much more to explore there. I’d like him to be taken a bit more seriously occasionally. Also I’d like the guy to be happy sometimes please (not just cheery, but happy). I’m not saying that has to be through a relationship - but give him something. A bit less of the ‘bros’ thing with Nate maybe - but that’s because I’m not keen on Nate rn - maybe explore some other friendships with team members. Of course I’d also like them to say ‘autistic’ in words, but I somehow doubt they’re going to. Oh and finally could the team please take his gluten/wheat allergy more seriously, because a) mocking an allergy is ableist, b) assuming allergic people are fakers is ableist and deeply unhelpful for allergy stigma, and c) Ray is not just your comic relief and deserves better. But hey, it’s Legends, he won’t get any of that sigh.

[Just popping back in with an edit: for more autistic!Ray you should read the people who helped me develop my headcanon of him - @dubiousculturalartifact and @jewishlorca . There are others but my brain is not where it should be, but start with them! I recommend Dubious’s dying is easy (living is harder) and areyouarealmonster’s Name-Calling. If I remember the other writers in this category I’ll add them.]

Give me a character to break down my headcanons on - any fandom that I follow… (e.g. Buffy, Star Trek, the Battlestar Galactica reboot, the Flarrowverse)!

#ray palmer #legends of tomorrow #dctv #headcanons #autistic characters #my headcanons #ableism

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lanadelreyfiles-blog · 7 years

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Lana Del Rey: Read NME’s exclusive interview with the modern icon. Lana Del Rey’s new album ‘Lust For Life’ is her most ambitious yet. Mike Williams meets her in the city that inspires her the most, Los Angeles – a place, she says, that “enhances something in me that’s already cooking” – to talk about music, happiness and witchcraft. Interview by Mike Williams. Photography by Neil Krug. It will surprise no one to learn that Dr Dre has very good speakers in his studio. And when I say very good, I don’t mean very good in a pricey and popular headphones kind of way. I mean very good in a “holy s**t, I can hear every individual speck of space dust in this galactic wall of sound” kind of way. It’s how we would all listen to music if we were billionaire music industry moguls. Dre has given us permission to use his Santa Monica studio – across the road from the legendary Interscope Records – to hear ‘Lust For Life’, the latest Lana Del Rey album, for the first time. The inside of the studio is clad with expensive-looking wood. The lights are seductively dimmed. It looks both like Don Draper’s office and the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon. There’s a bubbling lava lamp next to a Bruce Lee lampshade on top of the main desk. The drinking water is perfectly cool. It’s totally LA. It’s a fitting place to listen to Del Rey’s coming-of-age record. Huge in scale in every sense – sonically, vocally, thematically – it’s the culmination of two years of relentless work. Writing, editing, discarding, rewriting, tinkering, erasing, rebuilding. As she’ll tell me the following day: “I kind of felt when I started I was going to be in this whole new zone when I was done, a whole new space. I’m really proud that there’s a shift in tone, a shift in perspective. There’s a bit of reflectiveness on what I’m seeing and it’s integrated with how I’m feeling. Normally I’m just, ‘Let me just put this all out there,’ and then I’m really surprised when people are like, ‘You’re f**king crazy.’”

Del Rey has been Interscope labelmates with Dre since October 2011, when she bought herself out of her contract with 5 Points Records, where she’d toyed with different identities and different sounds. Six months earlier, she’d become an overnight star when her aesthetic clicked and she released her debut single proper, ‘Video Games’. In the space of three acclaimed albums (2012’s ‘Born To Die’, 2014’s ‘Ultraviolence’ and 2015’s ‘Honeymoon’) she’s gone from lo-fi internet queen to fully formed Hollywood superstar. And now she doesn’t just have the songs – they’ve been there since the first day Lizzy Grant looked in the mirror and Lana Del Rey winked back – but also the production, the ambition, the pulling power and the brass balls to make ‘Lust For Life’. I hear nine tracks through the big speakers – ‘Love’, ‘Lust For Life’ (Ft. The Weeknd), ’13 Beaches’, ‘Cherry’, ‘White Mustang’, ‘Groupie Love’ (Ft. A$AP Rocky), ‘Coachella – Woodstock In My Mind’, ‘Beautiful People Beautiful Problems’ (Ft. Stevie Nicks) and ‘Tomorrow Never Came’ (Ft. Sean Ono Lennon) – before driving up to a rooftop bar in Hollywood to order drinks from wannabe film stars and looking up towards the hills to meditate on what I’ve just heard. Shoo-wops, doo-wops, wall of sound production; tender moments, angry moments; sex, cars, uncertainties; opulent LA life. If you squint, you can see the famous Hollywood sign in the distance. If you close your eyes you can see Del Rey looking out from her window right inside the middle of the H. The next day we’re in a different studio in a different part of town, this one belonging to Del Rey’s longtime collaborator and producer Rick Nowels. He greets us at the door with a massive grin and ushers us into the main room where the album was recorded. It’s untidy, in a warm and homely way. He wants to know what we think of the record. He’s excited to talk about it. Nowels is a 57-year-old music industry legend who’s worked with Madonna, Tupac, Stevie Nicks and more, but it’s obvious that there’s a particular space in his head and his heart reserved for Del Rey, who he repeatedly describes as “special” and “remarkable”. Del Rey arrives. She’s wearing a crocheted T-shirt and jeans. We sit down in a side room and both press record on our phones. There’s a book about Manson Family victim Sharon Tate on the table that neither of us notices until after the interview is over. I ask her if she’s as happy as she looks on the cover of the new album. “Yeah…” she says. “That was my goal, you know, to get to that place of feeling like in my daily life I had a lot of momentum. Like a moving-on-ness from wherever that other place was that ‘Honeymoon’ and ‘Ultraviolence’ came from. I loved those records, but I felt a little stuck in the same spot.” How did she move on? “I just felt a little more present. Writing a song like ‘13 Beaches’ – it’s a little bit of an abstract notion, but for me it took stopping at 13 beaches one hot day to find one that nobody was at. And I just thought, you know, the concept of needing to find 13 beaches might seem like a luxury problem for someone, but that’s OK, I’m going to go with that.” It’s a key song on the album. Her voice has never sounded bigger or more emotional. “I usually do things in a few takes,” she says, “but I took a lot of takes to do that. The mood that I needed to convey was better than what I was doing. I knew it was important that I came in straight as an arrow with that one. I always feel like I’m creating a new path when I’m doing a song.” Writing, editing, discarding, rewriting, tinkering, erasing, rebuilding. Not that Lana Del Rey has been completely reinvented on ‘Lust For Life’. The title track, the first of five collaborations on the album (no previous LDR album had ever featured a guest artist), may not come from the melancholic cool world of ‘Video Games’ or ‘Terrence Loves You’, but it’s just as nostalgic. Nostalgia can be sad and nostalgia can be happy, and at her best – and let me put it out there, I think this song could be her absolute best ever – Del Rey taps both at once. Does she agree? “I’m thinking about that. It goes in line with how I thought I was going to be in this more grown-up zone [writing this record], but actually I’m still somewhere right in the middle. When I think of that song I think of nighttime and this idea of, I don’t know, breaking into somewhere and carving up and kissing. That’s fun for me; like the place where I’m not 100 per cent in something really solid relationship-wise, where you’re still going out and meeting new people and all that stuff. And also, this Hollywood-centric environment is still an important thing that gives me life, being in town and the characters and the constant heatwave. It’s a little bit of a cliché – I totally get it; but I still feel like it enhances something in me that’s already cooking.” Hollywood and the sunshine can be quite an intoxicating cocktail really, can’t it? “It can. I’m naturally a careful person, so I like that the ambience… I wouldn’t go out and take a cocktail of pills or whatever, you know, but there’s something about the vibe of just being around that gives me a heightened feeling.” The biggest deal collaboration on the album is the duet with Fleetwood Mac legend Stevie Nicks. Del Rey says hearing her vocal takes made her re-evaluate her own tone. She was convinced Nicks would turn her down. She still speaks about it with a look of happy disbelief that it actually happened. But the most interesting duet is actually with the person who is, in their own personal right, the least famous and accomplished of everyone on the record, but by virtue of his surname, the most fascinating. “I’m a huge, huge John Lennon fan,” she says. “I didn’t know [his son] Sean. I got his number from my manager, who called his manager. I kind of was nervous about what he was going to say. I FaceTimed him – he was amazing. He was very excited.” The result is the sweetest song on the album, a tender folky ballad that gently taps through the fourth wall as they reference John and Yoko, then Del Rey sings, “Isn’t life crazy now that I’m singing with Sean”. There’s a story that goes with the song, where Del Rey calls up Lennon to tell him that she thought his part was perfect, and he says that he’s so happy because no one’s ever said that to him before. He’s John Lennon’s son, he’s lived his entire life in his father’s shadow, and Lana Del Rey has just given him his greatest ever compliment. There’s a tragedy in that, don’t you think? “Absolutely. It’s why I think it’s more than just a song for him – for both of us. He’s sensitive, you know. I assume that’s from his father and I think he would probably say that it’s been… some of his reviews have been difficult. I thought that was one of those moments on the record where it was a little bit of a ‘bigger than us’ moment. I told him, ‘I’m the one who’s honoured, I’m the lucky one; so I just want you to remember that, Sean, I’m singing with you.’” The interview goes off in lots of different directions. We talk about hanging in LA with Alex Turner and Miles Kane (“I randomly see Alex. I’ve been working with Miles”); about her deep friendship with Courtney Love (“I can call, and probably just ’cause she’s done so much crazy s**t, I can tell her something very weird and she’ll be like, ‘Been there, done that’”); her love of Kurt Cobain (“top influence other than Bob Dylan”); people watching (“I’m a weird observer”); detective novelist Raymond Chandler (“I’m a big fan, I love The Big Sleep”); and Californian independence (“I’m a proponent of keeping the country together, but it’s so its own zone it may as well be a different country.”) We end by talking about magic and the power of words. Firstly, Donald Trump. He’s still the president, which means that the hex Del Rey asked her Twitter followers to cast on February 24 hasn’t worked (yet). So did she get involved and do it herself? “Yeah, I did it. Why not? Look, I do a lot of s**t.” Do you cast other spells at home? “I’m in line with Yoko and John and the belief that there’s a power to the vibration of a thought. Your thoughts are very powerful things and they become words, and words become actions, and actions lead to physical changes.” The quirky video trailer that you did for the album (a magical Lana looking down on LA from her home in the Hollywood H, ruminating on the world and the space it takes to make a record) – it’s more than a trailer; it’s a personal manifesto, isn’t it? “There is a message. I really do believe that words are one of the last forms of magic and I’m a bit of a mystic at heart. And I’ve seen how I feel about changing those people’s lives and I’ve been on the other side of that as well – on the other side of well-wishes and on the other side of malintent. And I’ve realised how strong you have to be to be; bigger than all of it, even bigger than your own vibrations. “I like that trailer because I talk about my contribution, which is something you start to think about. I’ve got good intentions. It’s not always going to come out right – it hasn’t come out right a lot of the time – but at the core my intentions have always been so good. With the music or when I get into a relationship, it’s always just because I really want to. That’s what’s at the root of this really cute, witchy B-movie.” You make a point in the trailer of saying “in these dark times”. Is there more pressure to contribute something positive right now? “I didn’t like hearing that come out of my mouth. I have a song, ‘When The World Was At War We Kept Dancing’, and I went back and forth so many times about putting it on the record because I didn’t feel comfortable with what I was saying. I don’t like hearing myself say, ‘In error it’s the end of America’, ’cause it’s a troubling sentiment. I didn’t like saying, ‘In these dark times’ either…” We both stop recording but keep talking about the state of the world we live in. I tell her that I can see more and more artists starting to come to terms with the fact that they need to be more outspoken and opinionated. She agrees and says people need to be bold because there are consequences. For the next hour, she makes silly videos on my phone, eats a messy sandwich and helps me choose photos to send to the NME art desk. She couldn’t be less like the idea of Lana Del Rey that most people subscribe to. There’s a confidence in her that perhaps she didn’t have before, a confidence that comes, maybe, from knowing that she’s about to release her most complete album, but knowing too that there are tweaks she could have made, things she should have done differently, things she’ll make right on the next record, ideas she’ll try when she’s next in the studio with Rick. Writing, editing, discarding, rewriting, tinkering, erasing, rebuilding.

#Lana Del Rey #NME #NME Magazine #Magazine #Editorial #Interview #2017 #July 2017 #Neil Krug

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iwantsomeonetoknow · 7 years

Text

How the Cycle Began (Part 2)

October 3, 2008

We were sitting in the band room guitar closet, just the two of us. I was completely obvious of your feelings for me at this point...but I had my face in your neck, and you were biting my finger. Well...more nibbling. It felt really good.

I loved touching you. And I loved it when you touched me.

October 10, 2008

“Raymond! Are you still awake?”

“Yeah...”

“Do you think you could come back to Lamppost? They just shut off the lights and everything...”

“___, I’m completely naked...”

“Please?”

“___...”

[A few minutes pass]

“Alright, I’m -”

“Oh wait, never mind, ___ is going to stay with us. See you tomorrow!”

That may have been one of the biggest regrets of my life. Who knows.

I think last time we left off on the part where I stayed up until 4 in the morning editing a video for her. She didn’t ask me to do it. She just sounded so freaking helpless...

I watched her break up with her boyfriend, and then get another boyfriend...whom I kind of liked. And then I watched them break up as well. I watched her get really jealous of his new girlfriend...I watched as she dated camp boy, as they broke up after graduation when she went to college...

...we stopped talking eventually. I make occasional attempts to talk to you, but I guess you just ignore me. That’s fine.

I call you at midnight every year on your birthday, so that I can be the first to wish you happy birthday. I’ve been successful every year...but you didn’t pick up this year.

You’re dating someone else again, that I’m happy for you. Every time we run into each other in person, you freak out and pretend to be really happy to see me...but you never make an attempt to see me. Ever.

It’s kind of cruel, and kind of funny...

The way I felt about her was kind of weird. I’m not quite sure how to describe it; we kind of spontaneously both ended up liking each other due to repeated exposure, and I fell deeper and deeper in love over time.

I clung onto my feelings for you, as that was the last thing I had in my very, very dark depression phases...

...but I knew we were never going to date. It was impossible for us. It was never meant to be. My romantic desires for you quickly faded away...and thus began something different. I began to love you from afar.

I never wanted to do anything with you. I never wanted to hold hands, kiss, make out, go on dates, watch movies together, have sex, etc... (okay, maybe a few of those things, but in a platonic way). I just wanted to be around you, and to see you happy.

The feelings were completely romantic. Or at least I think they were? I have no idea how to describe it. For most of high school, until I met ______, I think I loved you in a romantic fashion. But I never wanted to do anything about it. And I didn’t know why.

I guess to say all of high school is a bit inaccurate. It was more of an on/off sort of thing, but always kind of on the backburner.

I fell in love with other people too. I’d have genuine feelings for them and everything. Unfortunately, those relationships kept failing because of where I was in life...and I kept breaking up with people because I simply didn’t want to unload all of my problems onto them...

...but there was that one part of me, that I would banish to the dark, dark corners of my mind whenever I could, that contained these...feelings. These unwanted, complicated feelings.

/////////////////////////

But in a strange way, I loved it. I loved being in love with someone who could never love me back. Yes, it made me sad. But it was a nice kind of sad I guess. Because I can only like people that were already close friends to me...and I loved being able to look at her that way. Because when all was said and done...and she had dumped/been dumped by everyone...I was that one that was still there.

And thus began the cycle...of me, sometimes deliberately, falling for people whom I know a relationship will not blossom with. It’s comfortable, I know I won’t do anything about it ever, so that nothing will ever happen, and I can just watch...

...I know our beautiful friendship won’t be ruined by this, and I can watch them be happy, before eventually moving on myself, and then most likely doing this with someone else.

I’m so stressed out by the thought of engaging in a relationship with someone, and then losing everything...which is partially why I love falling in love with someone who doesn’t want me romantically, but is totally okay with doing more...intimate things with me. To some extent, they’re using me, and possibly leading me on, and not reciprocating my feelings...but I’m fine with that. I guess. Except when I end up wanting more....even though I shouldn't. So I suppress my desires and just be sad for a bit...

As long as I don’t lose them.

/////////////////////////

“It’s a bad religion....being in love with someone who could never love you”

-Frank Ocean

Yeah...maybe so. But it’s also an addicting one. And I keep getting hurt by it...and sometimes it doesn’t work out anyway. I don’t know. I’m getting really, really, really hurt by it.

But I can’t stop doing it.

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what-the-fuck-the-world · 7 years

Text

An Interview With Drug Money USA

By Adam Roye Artwork by Matthew Bellosi Photos by AR and DMUSA

*from scumrag #1 (nov. 2016)

Drug (ar)

NAME / AGE / ORIGIN ? If you see me in Atlanta, you're going to hear choruses of people calling me "Drug," but my God given name is Charlie. I'm in my late twenties and I'm from Texas. I miss it there.

WHERE ARE YOU BASED NOW ? I live in St. Louis (for ascetic reasons). I make the Atlanta trip a couple times a month, but I've lived there for longer durations too, like 6 months at a time. For a while, I lived down there in this huge house with Yakki (formerly Yakki Divioshi), who is one of my favorite rappers of all time. Lil Silk was in the building of course too. Lotto Savage. Shout out to Guccio & Yayo Gang in St. Louis. Free Twank Banks. Geek Monster Gang. Keep your eyes peeled for the Mansion documentary shot by me and edited by Silk himself. A very piped up inside look into the life. I was always, always filming, whatever we were doing.

Yakki (dmusa)

HOW’S YOUR DAY GOING ? Man, honestly, it was a stressed out, kinda shitty day. A lot of them are like that it seems, but I'm so, so proud of what I'm doing that I can't help but think it's worth it. I feel like I'm helping ensure that some very singular, important art comes to fruition. And at the end of the day, I couldn't live with myself not doing this. It's really taken over a lot of my life, but I think that this is the role I was supposed to fill.

*note: I'm having a better day as I'm coming back to finish these questions. They aren't all bad. I have to remind myself sometimes.

CARE TO BREIFLY DESCRIBE YOUR HISTORY / INVOLVEMENT WITH MUSIC, BANDS, SHOWS, ETC ? I've definitely been involved in music for a long time. I grew up in the hardcore scene in Houston. I'll always have love for that place and those people. All of my dogs in Austin too, of course. I released the Total Abuse demo on Drug Money Records and I've gone on tour with them almost every time they've ever toured. Rusty and I go way back. I collect records pretty hard, or I used to and now I mostly just enjoy what I have, because I'm so busy with everything else. I was always into rap, which isn't that special of a fact or anything, especially in Houston. My friend Masoud was an OG coach of mine back like way back on Houston rap. You could still buy the tapes from the old Screwed Up Records & Tapes location on Cullen then. I'll never forget that he advised me on picking up Dancin' Candy, P's n Q's, and maybe another one. I wonder where all those tapes went. He also tipped me off on K-Rino way back when. So because of Masoud, I was corresponding with K-Rino in high school. And I should mention too that there was a band from Houston called Eyeagainst and they touted Aquemini super hard. that was probably my first really serious dance with Atlanta rap. I was awed.

HOW DO YOU DEFINE DMUSA... ? ANY LABELS YOU WOULD PLACE ON IT, MAYBE TO DESCRIBE TO SOMEONE WHO IS COMPLETELY CLUELESS ? Good question. I would say that I'm involved with all levels of making rap music. The range of shit I have to do really has no limits. I release singles on my YouTube channel (and some on Soundcloud too), and now I'm releasing mixtapes. I connect the rapper and producer, arrange for the studio time to go down, and help conduct the goings on. I shoot videos and take photos of the process and life in Atlanta constantly. I set shows up in Atlanta and St. Louis when I can, and DJ, and make cassettes of my mixes (titles available from WTFTW and 6/27 Tapes). I get a lot of help from my friends. It's really refreshing to work with my dear friend Brodinski, because he has the same tireless drive to make this shit happen that I have, and really shares my vision more than anyone else I know. We are on the same page to a pretty wild degree. The projects I work on with him bring me great joy and make me feel like I'm not totally losing my mind. He's a true kindred spirit and I really value him. Total master of his craft, too. But yeah, bottom line, I would say Drug Money USA's central mission is making rap happen the right way.

HOW DID DRUG MONEY START, AND HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THE EVOLUTION TO NOW (IF ANY) ? Really, I would say that it started off with a man named Stebo, who is a mover and shaker behind the scenes. I debuted a few of his tracks. I debuted a couple serious heaters from him at the beginning that really gave me some momentum. After that, I just started making more and more connections. Early on, I was getting joints from some guys I knew from their music and early affiliation with Young Thug, like Yung Zoo, YL Stunna (one of my favorite rappers of all time, also on Thug's ICFN2), and Justin Hunter (then Raymond Reedy). I'd do all this work for their own songs, so guys like Zoo would float me their songs with Thugger as exclusives too. Free Zoo. Joints from Papertrail 550, who is the fucking man, some of those featuring Casino and Bloody Jay and the Black Migo Gang. I was just connecting the dots between all the music I loved and making lasting friendships along the way. And these songs I was getting were (and remain) among some of my favorite rap music being made, so I was like, I guess I really have to do this, like, all the time. I had been working on this stuff for a couple of years before I started spending real deal time in Atlanta, and I didn't exactly know how it was going to translate when I showed up in person. But I went down there and had a place to lay my head, thanks to Guccio, living with some of the most vibrant talents in Atlanta in Yakki and Silk and company, and I got a call from Bloody Jay the night I arrived in town. We had a talk that brought a tear down my cheek within seconds, I kid you not. That is an incredible man. Free Bloody Jay. He's one of my favorite rappers ever. Of all time. And just an indomitable creative spirit. He's going to rule the world with words when he gets out. We need his voice right now, especially now. But anyway, Jay and I link up that night, which was surreal and a real dream for me (as well as a whole story unto itself), and around 5 AM, I get back to the house, where Yakki teases me for going to sleep because there was still something to be smoked. And that first night set the tone for my time in Atlanta that continues to this day. There's been hard times and losses and frenzied, really stressed out moments, but I've kept my head up the entire time, ever forging ahead. Now I have more songs to release and more work to contend with and more projects to work away on than I could have ever imagined. It really evolved into a scene unto itself. I'm working with all the people I want to work with. I'm helping make the music I would otherwise be clamoring for, so it's really a dream.

YOUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL HAS 40K+ SUBSCRIBERS, ARE YOU SUPER RICH NOW ? I'll go to bat for my people and zealously advocate for the artists I work with, but I'm not so business minded when it comes to my own stake. I never wanted to impede anyone from listening to these new artists or cheapen the experience, especially for the music I was personally presenting. And it just stuck that way. No advertisements. No YouTube monetization. I really like when my friends tell me that they spent a few interrupted hours listening to my uploads. I like that my channel doesn't promote anything but the music and the people behind it. I'm just too invested in that vision to break away from it right now.

WHAT WERE SOME OF THE EARLIER TRACKS YOU HELPED EXPOSE THAT INCREASED YOUR LEGITIMACY/VIEWERSHIP ? I started off with a bang, or a couple of bangs actually, courtesy of the very underrated Young Stebo, who I mentioned before. They were these songs with Young Thug ("Foreign Cash") and Ola Playa ("Started From the Bottom," also featuring YC). Really these very underrated songs that are almost like Killed by Death style Atlanta rap cuts. He has incredible songs by himself as well as as true classics with all of the then-burgeoning stars. Thug, Playa, Bloody Jay, Wicced, Yung Booke, Rich Homie Quan, everybody. His recent music has been incredible too, so stay on the lookout for more from Stebo.

Twice (dmusa)

FAVORITE PROJECT OR EVENT YOU’VE DONE ? My favorite project I've dropped so far has to be Twice's Zachary: Double It Up 2, which you did the artwork for. I put my everything into that project. Twice and I had already been working together for a while when he caught a case. After that, we really ramped it up and spent his last free days recording in his mom's basement while he was stuck sitting on an ankle monitor. Spaghetti J engineered over mostly Spaghetti J beats and we pumped out some unreal songs down there, with these pretty serious pitbulls looming behind us in the backyard. Big dogs like Tay Slime Ass and YL Stunna dropped by and recorded classics with Twice. Young upstarts Lil Patt and Slimelife Shawty came by and made some magic with Lil Double Up too. There's really no one like Twice, and I mean that. In South Atlanta, this mixtape is seriously a cherished classic. That's the correct school of thought, in my mind. It should be celebrated everywhere. It's really lyrical, thoughtful trap music straight from the heart of the jungle. He's got a real classic on there with Young Thug as well, called "No Wendy's", which you actually did the single artwork for too. Bless you for that. It's over the "Controlla" beat and it's one of my favorite songs of all time. He's not like other rappers his age. His favorite rappers are Drake, Jadakiss, and Fabolous, and he goes in over an Eve beat on "Runnin' Up", but his rap is still distinctly Atlantan. It's the perfect balance. He's an old soul with a serious voice, wise behind his years but prone to mistakes, just like anybody else. I pray for his release. Free Twice. I actually dropped his first songs (with YL Stunna) back in February of 2014, so Zachary was a long time coming for me. I listen to it everyday.I'm really, really excited about Young Slime Season, the upcoming 20 track mixtape featuring all the young Slimes, the young crew, that I'm dropping with Brodinski and Bromance Records a couple of days before Thanksgiving. We've been working on it for a long time. It's a really huge project. It really represents the voice of the youth of Cleveland Ave. The central players on the album are Babysnake, B Slime, Lil Clockk, Maja Got It, No Mask Nuk, Lil Patt, Lil Reek, Slimeball Kelly, Slimelife Shawty, Lil Tay, The Homie Cashyy, Twice, YL G Baby and Zack Slime Fr. But it features contributions from a couple of the big dogs too, like YSL Hitta, YL Zoe, MPA Bukk Bukk too, as well as a couple of tracks featuring Atlanta star B La B, who is an entity all his own. It's really a sprawling journey, running the gamut from these perfectly crafted melodic gems to these very rambunctious songs with like 6 rappers a pop. You can hear the urgency and vitality of the youth on every track. The production is really otherworldly too. I'm dropping YSS with Bromance Records, so the producers on it are either directly from that camp or close affiliates. Peerless music. I have actually been listening to Myd, who produced a few flawless tracks on the project, since 2009, when Air France put his track "Train to Bamako" on an online mix. And now I have tracks with my favorite young rappers today rapping to his music. It's unreal. So it's these very fresh, often unorthodox rappers with this production that also isn't like anything else in rap music either, or any music period. The production is indispensable, and the music just couldn't have come from anyone else, with regard to both the rapping and the production. The producers on there are Amine Edge & DANCE, Bobby Swan, Brodinski himself, Ikaz Boi, Mister Tweeks, Myd, Myth Syzer, and Ryan Hemsworth. It could not sound better. It's such a vital document. I'm like dying, I can't wait for it to drop. I'm so proud of what we made.I'm really proud of The Return of Cheat Code too. My friend Diaz and his big dog James really helmed all the mixing and mastering and a lot of the preparations for that one. Then Bame Cheat Code is his next project, which we will also be releasing. It'll be here in December and it might just happen to feature a certain big snake, if you know what I mean. Welcome home, Cheat. His influence can't be overstated. Just listen to yesteryear's "President Slide Show" with Kwony Cash and Young Thug.

Patt, Slimelife Shawty, Twice (dmusa)

I'm going to present the Black Roses mixtape, the first offering from the YL camp as a unit together, featuring an all-star cast of some big Slimes. It features YL Stunna, YL Zoe, YSL Hitta, Taliban France, and Money Game Boo. I have tapes coming out individually from each of those artists, as well as tapes on the way from B La B, YSL Maybach, Zack Slime Fr, and Lil Patt.

I also have a tape coming out with the Atlanta production duo Spaghetti J that is centered around Cleveland Ave/Jonesboro Rd. Spaghetti J are incredible, and we have been working on music for a couple years now actually, really amassing a library of killer, homegrown music that we are always still adding to. Our first installment is on the horizon though, and it's going to be something serious. We also have single artist projects we'll be releasing together with some of the rappers I listed above. Remember the name Spaghetti J, for real.

I've always shot the documentary footage, but more recently, I've been shooting a lot of music videos that I'm really excited about. The first three I'm dropping are from Tay Slime Ass, Rari Rokket aka Ferrari Smash, and Solid Lil Chris. Free Chris. After that, it's the "Drug Money" anthem from YL Stunna, YL Zoe, and Twice. I filmed it a while back. It's a perfect storm. That one is going to be my opus, I think. Double LP vinyl edition of Ola Playa's Slime Season is almost ready. Years in the making. The interview I did with Playa on my blog, actually, is one of the labors I'm most proud of. I'm also working on a petition for Money Game Boo to sing the National Anthem. Talk about a singular talent. His tape is going to cause earthquakes.

Hitta, Patt (dmusa)

IN ONE SENTENCE, WHY DO YOU DO DMUSA ? Because there has never been anything like this music and I feel uncontrollably compelled to do my part in making it happen.

LINKS • YOUTUBE • SOUNDCLOUD • TWITTER • TUMBLR • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

#long read #drug money #dmusa #atlanta rap

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