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thesteriuswife · 4 months

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Dance of Our Nature (1/2)

Summary: Theseus, former King of Athens, brings Asterius to the blessed fields. While there, he meets someone very dear to the king.

Notes: Originally a fic about Theseus n Asterius I scrapped due to it feeling too aimless 💔 I took my favourite chapter and reworked it so I could put Dianthus in it too :~) I didn’t do any major edits cuz I’m kind of tired of working on this so be nice….

There’s some background info established in the sort of “prequel” fic to this, but I’m not sure if I want to link it here… but it shouldn’t too hard to understand without that context.

~2878 words. Contains Theseus fishing for compliments and being generally so cringe and fail, awkward first interactions, fruit eating, and Asterius trying to remember that he’s just as much as a man as he is a bull.

No particular warnings as far as I can think, but Theseus and Asterius do have a little bit of an unbalanced dynamic so early on into their relationship. They’ll work on it as time goes on, of course!

🎵: Cicada | Here We Are!

Theseus was not what the Minotaur would have expected a king to be like. Some of the traits he remembered from his short time spent on the surface were there: Theseus was imposing when he wanted to be, his voice could fill a room, and despite his small height the way he presented himself made him seem almost god-like in stature. He was the king who unified Athens, famed for being fair and honorable even to those who too had been cursed by gods. Such nobility could only be afforded to one such as himself, who was scholar, leader, and warrior alike.

Despite all this, Asterius realized that Theseus was still only human. And because he was only human, Theseus was also clumsy, teetering on the side of accident prone: several times now he had managed to fall over nothing, or nearly trip (again!) into one of the underworld’s many river branches, or even get distracted by his own dramatic speeches and end up walking face first into a pillar. (Theseus attempted with great gusto to pretend that he intentionally smashed his face in, so that the bull may watch as he seductively wiped away the blood from his injury. Unfortunately for the king he was wincing in pain all the while, and instead looked more silly than anything else.) Asterius also noticed how Theseus struggled to focus on anything other than what interested him at the moment. What interested him right now was Asterius himself, and seemingly only that, for each time the bull spoke in an attempt to direct Theseus’ attention elsewhere it took the king some time to even realize that something had been said, and even then his reply would be short and distracted. Immediately after he finished talking he would return to simply gazing at Asterius’ face with some unidentifiable emotion, or stroking his large biceps with a curious hand. When he did wish to talk, however, Theseus could easily hold entire conversations by himself. It was charming in its own way, and only slightly grating. “…And that is why I despise my cousin Menetheus!” Theseus finished his story with a grand gesture, exasperation clear in his voice. Asterius paid close attention, half out of genuine curiosity, and half out of having nothing better to do. “Such an insufferable cur was undeserving of the title of king! Don’t you agree, Dear Asterius?”

Asterius nodded in response. He’d not spoken much during the duration of this journey— he wasn’t quite sure what to say in this strange situation he’d somehow ended up in, and the king already spoke so much on his own. It felt almost unnecessary to make any further additions…

Still, Theseus gave him an almost expectant look just now, as if he were waiting for input.

“You were… much better suited for the role than he.” said Asterius with uncertainty. He did not have much experience with complimenting people, and that was clearly what Theseus’ sought. “You were Athens’ greatest king, certainly.”

Despite his stunted words, Theseus still beamed brightly with a smile, and gave Asterius’ hand a tight squeeze. “How kind of you to say, my friend! And I must say I agree! There is none other than myself who is more suited for the role of— ah, hold a moment. I believe we have reached our destination! And here I’d been expecting more of a challenge in reaching our shared goal! Bah!” “Yes,” Asterius agreed, neglecting to bring up how the many ways Theseus accidentally hurt himself during their journey together were certainly a challenge in their own right. Together they stood before a large gate, its metal slightly browned with age. Asterius could swear there was something massive swimming beneath the water nearby, but Theseus seemed not to be concerned by it, and so Asterius would choose to ignore it as well. When met with Theseus’ touch, the gate lifted with a groan, allowing them both to enter a small rest area. Asterius took a moment to brush ash out of his fur; how strange that, despite Asphodel being a land of clear waters and ordinary scruffy grass, embers floated in the air. Once he’d finished, he found Theseus waiting at the other end of the corridor, waiting patiently to be rejoined by his companion. (Or rather, as patiently as he was capable of. While he made no push to rush Asterius, his casually leaning against the door did not make the tapping of his foot go unnoticed.) “Are you ready, Asterius? Here is where your new life shall begin! You shall finally have a chance to live as a prince should! Aha, such a thing must be nerve-wracking for you. But fear not, my friend! I shall support you every step of the way!” Asterius snorted in response; he was beginning to realize Theseus had a habit of announcing his own emotions, but would never attribute them to himself. The king was surely nervous, but it was much easier to say that Asterius was the nervous one. But the bull saw no reason to complain about such a thing, and thus did not mention it. He wouldn’t have had time to regardless, not with Theseus opening the final gate, and the blessed fields being within reach.

“Here we are!” To Asterius’ surprise, the gate opened to a small copse of trees. Theseus stepped out first, fallen leaves crunching beneath his feet. “There is someone here expecting us! Let us not keep her waiting for longer than we already have, yes?”

Asterius in turn poked his head out… The breeze was the first thing he noticed, cool and refreshing, gentle against his fur. Then, the scent… fresh and green, but also slightly sweet, like fruit being carried on the wind. He felt nearly enticed to follow the direction of it.

He stepped out behind Theseus, and was nearly startled at the sound of twigs and dried leaves being crushed beneath his weight. The sound was foreign to him… could he be blamed if he wanted to kick his legs against the ground, and see what other interesting noises could be made?

Soon, Asterius allowed the strange king to gently guide him forward. It took both of Theseus’ hands to be able to fully wrap around one of the bull’s wrists… it was strange realizing that the man who stood so large within his memory was so small in reality. It was strange to be continuing on in silence, but Asterius was certain that even if Theseus had spoken, he would not have heard him. The new sights and sounds around him were too much of a distraction, nearly to the point of making him dizzy. “Now, where could she be… ah!” Across the distant fields, Asterius could just barely make out a woman decked out in bright pink, sitting upon a marble bench beneath a flower-covered trellis. She seemed to notice them first, and stood. Upon seeing this, Theseus released Asterius’ hand, and bounded down to meet with her. “Ah, my lady! How I’ve missed you!” (At this distance it should have been difficult to make out the king’s words. But Asterius’ hearing was very good, and Theseus himself was very, very loud.) “I told you I would return, did I not? Let this be a lesson to you, my lady, that I am a man of my words!” Asterius watched as Theseus lifted the girl into his arms with ease, and she erupted into warm laughter in response. He kissed against her jaw once, then again, then against her cheek, and soon the girl’s laughter turned to squealing. Asterius’ chest felt tight at their affection— he didn’t know why. “Asterius, dear bull!” Though reluctant, he returned the girl to her feet, but not before giving her a final kiss upon her forehead. “I would like you to meet Lady Dianthus of Oenoe, my… erm. Ahem. A-anyways! It was with her help that I was able to bring you here to the blessed fields. You must be curious as to how that happened, hmm? Allow me to start from the beginning! Some great many years ago, I…” “Theseus, I don’t imagine your bull-friend would want to hear about that right now! He’s probably tired, and you should be too! Besides, I didn’t do anything that impressive…” the girl waved her hand dismissively, causing Theseus to gasp rather dramatically. “Ah, my lady is far too modest! To reason with the gods themselves is impressive indeed.” Theseus squeezed the girl’s hand. For a moment, his typical cocky expression faded into something warm and soft. He brought her hand up to his lips, for a kiss. “And you have done both Asterius, and myself, a great kindness.” The girl pouted in an almost childish fashion, though her cheeks did darken at Theseus’ gesture. Instead of trying to further combat the king’s words, she turned her attention elsewhere. “It is… nice to meet you, Asterius.” Her voice was soft, but did not hold the nervousness Asterius would have expected from one who was laying eyes upon The Minotaur for the first time. Asterius nodded.

"Now, let us celebrate this victory! Asterius, my dear friend, stay here a moment with the lady. I shall return quicker than any bolt of Zeus!” Theseus rushed off before either could ask just what it was he intended to do, though Asterius had an inkling it would be something indulgent, as the king seemed to value pleasure above all else. He turned his attention to the girl before him. She was small, Asterius noted, but not much smaller than the king himself. Her long hair was covered in a variety of spring flowers and green vines, connecting to a halo of fresh fruit. He watched closely as the small bud of a flower bloomed open, just as another near it took its final breath, and fell to the ground below. He supposed she was like his mother in that regard; a nymph, but only in part. “Asterius…?” The bull nearly jolted, suddenly hearing his name. He had been starring, he now realized, though he hadn’t intended to. “You seem awfully meek for someone of your reputation, you know. Ah, but that’s not what I wanted to say… what I mean is, you don’t need to be just standing there. Come sit next to me- if you’d like to, that is.”

Her voice became quieter with every word, as if she was concerned she might’ve said something offensive. Not that Asterius would have particularly cared either way. “I will take you up on your offer,“ Asterius replied, "thank you.”

Here was a nook buried deeply within a section of trees, their branches bent over a trellis so they’d form an arch. It was shady, but Asterius could still easily see the world beyond. He gazed first outwards, observing the sounds and sights of Elysium’s nature; the rush of a waterfall, the songs of birds. Then, again to Dianthus. With her fine clothing and jewelry Asterius might have thought of her as a noblewoman, but her poise was at odds with what he remembered of the few court women he saw in life, with her legs open and her shoulders casually rolled back. “So, what do you think?” she asked, “Is Elysium everything you assumed it would be?” Asterius titled his head. “A shade once told me the trees here grow fruit of gold. A ridiculous story.” “It is ridiculous. If the trees here really bore gold instead of fruit, us shades would have no fresh produce to eat! Or at the very least, no fruit.” she hummed, clearly amused at the story. “The shades here value their ability to indulge in whatever treats they desire! Even Theseus is no exception.” Asterius thought of his time in Erebus, and how a determined Theseus once braved the very depths of the underworld with the sole goal of sharing a basket of fresh bread from one of Elysium’s bakeries. “True,” he sighed. The girl, he noted, did not use Theseus’ title when talking about him. A sign of disrespect coming from others, but the way she spoke implied she’d known him for quite some time, and therefore was simply used to referring to him casually. Still, Asterius struggled to trust his own instincts, and so he asked: “Are you very close to the king?” “Oh! Well, that is… complicated. It isn’t a very interesting story, either.” Uncertainty into her voice, or maybe, she was just shy. Asterius did not want to push her, and yet… “I would be interested,” he admitted. Not knowing how to reassure her, Asterius copied what he saw Theseus do earlier, and took one of her small hands within his own as gently as he could manage. Unlike the king, whose hands were calloused after centuries of battle, hers with soft to the touch. “It’s not very interesting,” she repeated, her voice now softer, “and it is very long. You’d probably get bored listening to me ramble!” I’m interested in listening. I’m interested in you, he wanted to say, but he could not help but feel as if such words would be unwelcome. And so he fell silent, the lady’s hand still held within his own, peacefully watching out over the wide expanse of nature before him. So focused on the peacefulness of the nature before him, he nearly did not hear Theseus calling out “Bull of Minos! My dear maiden! I have returned t— oof!!” Asterius and Dianthus watched as an over excited King Theseus tripped and fell face first on Elysium’s soft grass. Before either could react, he was quick to stand back up, brush off his chiton, and grumble a curse under his breath. Slowly, he continued his way towards them. “Asterius, Dianthus,” he said, out of breath, “I have brought with me a gift!” Theseus lifted the pack he’d brought with himself into Erebus, and slowly loosened the drawstring. When Asterius peered over, he saw that its contents had now been entirely replaced with freshly plucked fruit. “Theseus! If you wanted to pick fruit, you could have asked me to bring a basket.” “Pshaw! Such a thing is unnecessary for one such as myself! And besides, this gift is, eh… rather spur of the moment?” Theseus replied with a huff, “Here, Noble Asterius! This is for you.”

Theseus pressed a fruit into Asterius’ hand, some small red-and-purple berry with a unique texture. He did not eat straight away. Instead he stared at Theseus’ finger tips, dyed purple by the berries. He watched as Theseus, noticing the excess syrup, brought his hand to his mouth to clean. (“Oh, nasty! Go wash your hands in the Lethe or somethin’.” Dianthus huffed, before doing much the same after grabbing a berry of her own.)

The bull eyed the fruit with curiosity- the same sweet scent that had carried on the wind earlier again filled his senses, but much more intensely this time.

Curious, he first brushed his tongue against the fruit. To his surprise, it was just as tart as it was sweet. The taste reminded him of the way the forest smelled, thick and woody and warmed by the light of Ixion.

“Do you like it? Mulberries were my mother’s favourite fruit! A large tree of them stood sturdy by my childhood home, so I’ve become an expert at identifying when they are at their ripest and most delicious!"

"It’s good…"

"They’re rich in antioxidants, you know.” Dianthus added between handfuls of berries, “Good for your health!”

“What the hell is an antioxidant,“ Asterius replied.

When Dianthus pouted, Theseus tensed for a moment… then erupted into howling laughter, nearly falling over yet again in the process.

"What’s funny?”

“I apologize, my companion! I was merely surprised to hear you speak in such a way!!”

The king stifled his laughter, covering his mouth with a hand. “Now, scoot over, my friend!“ "Hmm?” Asterius shifted to the side, but was surprised when Theseus settled between himself and Lady Dianthus, so close that their shoulders were together (or as together as they could be- even while sitting, Asterius was much taller than them both).

Theseus held his berry-filled pack in his lap, their vibrant colours dying the fabric in an array of deep purple-red hues. Each berry was plump and ripe and looked utterly delicious- Asterius couldn’t help but to gather a number of them in his hand, despite the way that they made his fur sticky.

There was something deeply pleasant about this togetherness, Asterius found. He did not have much experience with companionship, and yet he found the warmth of it enchanting. Dianthus continued to scold Theseus for his impulsiveness, but at the very same time plucking fresh fruit from where he held it in his lap, which in turn makes Theseus laugh unflatteringly. It was a strange feeling. He was used to being out of place in the world. He never thought it would be possible for another to look at him as anything other than a monster. But here he’d been shown kindness… He didn’t know if things would be able to last this way, but for now…

He was more than happy to indulge in the new pleasures Elysium had already given him.

~ Authour’s Notes Mulberries are featured in the myth of one of Asterius’ siblings, his baby brother Glaucus… they’re used to solve a riddle regarding something that changes from white to black to red. I have a fic with Glaucus as a character in the works as well :~)

For those who have never played Hades; Asphodel was once an ordinary grassy land, but the river Pheleghton flooded over and into it, turning it into a Lava World. I like to think Theseus came and got Asterius from Erebus before this happened! Also the hydra guards the gate exiting from Asphodel into Elysium (but didn’t bother Theseus because Theseus has “”Special Clearance”” aka the thang just didn’t really see him as much of a threat)

#📚 codex #🌺👑🐂 love in idleness #posting that song made me wanna repost this fic over here </3 #maybe ill finally finish the second chapter..... meanwhile ill put it up on my neocities while im at it

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codename-adler · 7 days

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oh how the Kathea is Kathea-ing tonite…

#pinning every ‘first kill’ collage to my kathea 🌺 board like a dog scarfing down her kibbles #don’t know how i forgot bout that & them #probably bc netflix cancelled it 🙄#no juliette is not at all how i picture katelyn but calliope? calliope is just missing a few years of age to body thea 🧎‍♀️#i’m so sorry fam i feel like a groundhog coming in n out of its hole bc it ain’t sure if it’s spring yet #I DO HAVE FINISHED MY SMESTER #i have not touched tsc #pips fics are a-coming tho #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg #kathea 🌺#project: kathea 🌺#thea muldani #katelyn mackenzie #katelyn young #aftg kathea #theodora muldani

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qkmlh · 2 months

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❤️ I wanted to say thank you. I do intend to answer the ask I’d just like to keep it in my inbox for a little longer 🥹

Aww no worries!! I meant every single word btw!! You really are one of my favorite authors and sincerely thank you for having shared your works with the fandom 🌟💫✨

I still remember the first time I read Flowers with the Color of Happiness and how each chapter left me an absolute giddy mess of feelings. Every time I’d get the update email I’d pretty much drop everything to read (either immediately or at least as soon as possible) ㅋㅋㅋ

The ending still remains SUCH a Delight™️ but then again if I’m being honest so does every single chapter because every chapter is such a goldmine akdjakdhajhd!! Like I could NOT not fall over myself laughing from some of the interactions and dialogue, especially when it came to Changmin’s mother & Kyuline, but also?? The heart?? The emotions?? Miss zimriya you made me FEEL!!! Had the biggest goofiest most adoring smile by the end, and every time I’ve reread it after (including rn too since I felt like rereading the last chapter and gosh dang am I emoting all over again ahjdfkls)

#No but in all seriousness I’ve never cared too much for The Bachelor type shows & stories but omigosh did you have me HOOKED!!!!#Like deadass had me on the edge of my seat each chapter going omigosh omigosh omigosh!!!!#It’s SUCH a comfort fic to me and def in my top TVXQ fics of all time 🥺❤️❤️❤️#Ahh this got longer than I expected and is more silly rambles than anything but just!! Wishing you the very best and kinder days ahead 🌸🌷🌺#💌 Answered Rambles 📬#Ani Rambles

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hanafubukki · 1 year

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for the fic writing ask game ^^ 1, 4, 16, 34, 41, and finally, 49 >:DDD looking forward to your answersss

[From this Writing fic ask game]

Hello Trau 💜🥰💕

Thank you for sending this in 💕💕

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

I had to think on this one because which one do I choose? and my writing style changed so many times too, but in the end I decided on: I Suddenly Became The Mother of the Red-Rose Tyrant?!

It's my latest work and it was such a self-indulgent work and I am so proud of it 🥰🥰

4. What detail in [insert fic] are you really proud of?

Does this mean the fic I would recommend? or any fic? Let's go with the fic I recommended, I just love the ending. I felt like adults need to take account for their actions and it was needed in that fic and that relationship. I'm trying not to spoil lolol

16. What’s an AU you would love to read (or have read and loved)?

*unfurls long list* So...How much time do you have?? lolol I love to read many many AUs and tropes but the AUs that I will always love is: Soulmates, arranged marriage, royalty au, Reincarnation au, omg visiting the future, time travel au, children coming to the past, and I could go on forever 😂💜

34. What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life?

Most of my fics are based on ideas or daydreams I have throughout the day. Most of them are very self-indulgent and comforting fics to me. Like Bookish Delight was written when I felt especially soft for sebek and wanted someone to have a book buddy romance with. Just a Bite 🍓 and “I Want to Bite Your Ears” was written when I felt in a comedic type of way with certain characters and omg I didn't know I wrote two fics with biting but yeah, its mostly self-indulgent stuff, especially with my flower language fics too.

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

You can't tell me to link you a fic and just choose one so... *unfurls longer list* (these are not in any order 💕💕 I am literally going down the list in my head lolol)

Armband by @dulcesiabits I love reading this one. Its such a cute story and the competition and how the boys just basically want to be number one and I remember at that time, I was felt so intune with MC and how they wanted to belong so fics like these was a fave and I am so soft for twst characters damn it.

Mission failed successfully by @traumxrei-archive okay, I know I told you before but this fic made me laugh and it was so freaking cute and I remember it was during a time that I really needed a laugh and this fic just brought that more and I went "I love this writing and this person is cool and nice I want to follow them." it's still one of my faves that I come back too.

the stories told, the charm you hold by @zgvlt I wish I had the abilities Nath has and this fic is such a fave, literally the reading buddy romance was a direct hit to my heart. I was especially soft for sebek the day I found this fic.

in honor of our dying sun by @auugustus when I say this story hits every niche I have? it really hits it! stars and moons, time travel, love over time? beautiful! I am bracing myself for the angst though because I feel it to my bone in this fic

Meeting Our Future Children by @nanamisflowerfield her writing is so soft and I love it and I love this trope and she has such a comforting style too.

Lucky Ending by @mobagehelllocal I will never shut up about Lala's writing. she will literally have to tell me to shut up or sow my mouth shut. The first story I read from her was Can you Even Lift Bro? was what introduced me to her, but Lucky Ending just made me fall in love with writing again and the idea of love.

Baby Crazy by @streimiv THIS story was one of the stories that I first read in twst and made me go down the endless pit that made me love lilia. Strei's other works with Malleus and Vil are so good too and put me down that pit as well.

Prince by @leafity-writes I remember reading this and going 'wow' this is so precise and so in character I wish I could write like that. It says so much but in so little words. the hidden meanings you know?

I'll stop here because this list is never going to end 😂😂

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!

I am SO glad you asked! I love sharing excerpts and am quiet evil at times 😂💕 from what my friends say but I will try not to be...try..

each one is different fic btw 💕💜

"I just didn’t know I could miss my husband when we are under the same roof.”

“Mind telling me why both Sebek and Silver are boiling tomatoes and Malleus is straining the juice…in a rather obsessive manner?”

"I don't want to break up with him." "Then why would you?"

"The way the rain made his carefully gelled hair stick on him...damn, he was hot."

Thank you again for sending this Trau 💕💜🥰, I had so much fun answering it 🫶❤️

#hanas thoughts #answered #🌺trau🌺#sorry for the late reply #I have been busy but today was my last day of school and all my assignments are done and turned in and I finally had time to answer this #and it was so much fun and brought back so many memories #thank you again!#🌷author recs🌷#🌷fic recs🌷#there was also this very very angsty line with reader singing baby sebek to sleep while scared of…something and I wanted to include it but #I can already see people raising knives against me so I didn’t lmao 😂

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mosviqu · 9 months

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can i stop getting fic ideas for groups i dont write for

#or am i gonna pull a fucking yyxgin when my first svt fic was a 40k vernon fic bc i was just too in love w him #and write a 40k eric fic bc i got the inspo 😭😭😭😭😭#🌺

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clockworkcheetah · 5 months

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🌹

? im assuming this is for that ask game for sending a excerpt from wip? i havent reblogged recently but i cant physically shut up about my wips so ill do one

"Ow, ow!" Dirk cries out. "For goodness sake! Mister, I just need to talk to you. Ask you a thing. A very important thing, matter of life or-"

from timeloop

#dghda #the timeloop fic #people can send me more if you want #i cannot shut up about my wips #clockworkcheetasks #if this wasnt actually about that askgame and you were just sending me a flower then sorry 😅#have some flowers 🌻🌺🌼

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theharrowing · 1 year

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you. Ki||. me.

trying to get thru collateral. First was the smut 🥵 then I’m trying to get into deep thinker mode to figure out this Hong Kong trip, new characters and what not and then JK comes out of left field with the comment about his plane ride. Wtff. I had to read that multiple times to make sure I wasn’t crazy

🤪🥵🔥🤤😋🤸🏽‍♀️🤸🏽‍♀️🤸🏽‍♀️🤸🏽‍♀️🤸🏽‍♀️🤸🏽‍♀️🤸🏽‍♀️🤸🏽‍♀️

😈 HELLO, ASHLEYYYY!!!!

hellooo, my love!!! i'm so glad you're caught up. man, that JK sure is a menace, isn't he?????? i love exploring his character (and Taehyung!) they're a lot of fun.

fun fact: the whole getting cut while playing the knife game idea came to me because it happened to me a couple weeks ago. 😂😂😂 but it was my drunk boyfriend who (accidentally and very, very gently) cut the side of my hand lolol. never a dull fucking moment, i swear!!!

i see you have also commented, so you have made it thru the chapter! 😍🥰💜 i am very proud of you!!! i can't wait to see what you have to saayyyyy. I LOVE YOUUUU!!!!!

#moonleeai #i love my moots #especially the lovely ashley 🌺#reader reviews #fic: collateral

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thetoaddaddy · 2 months

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im back half cut watching og naruto i keep forgetting how iconic it was thar jir warps in with a bitch on his shoulder and be threatens kisame and itachi. King shit

#🌺 ooc #gotta rewarch and read for my fic so its for a purpose

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maehemthemisfit · 1 year

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HATE WHEN THE FUCKING SAVE BUTTON TURNS INTO POST TUMBLR WHY

#ughhh #fucking my shit up for no reason #if u saw that scara fic... no u didn't #[✨] mae . • . ° rambles ♡⁠˖#[🌺] mae ｡・⁠｡ talks genshin ♡⁠˖♪

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sunsetsnz · 1 year

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reassurance

summary: seph is having a hard time with the flu, and jonathan is there to console him through a particularly rough moment.

notes: sfw, some swearing. there isn’t actually much snz in this (technically two?) but there is plenty of illness/whump/comfort if you’re into that <3

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Seph reaches for his water bottle in its usual place on the nightstand to attempt a sip. He winces. The cool water is momentarily soothing, but with his inflamed throat and swollen lymph nodes, swallowing is torture.

He's curled up in a miserable ball of infection in his own bed, head pounding with dull congestion, stuffed up to hell and back, shivers and aches running through him like tremors before an earthquake. He hasn't had the flu in quite a few years, and it's hitting him like a fucking train.

The arm nestled around his shoulders belongs to one Jonathan Dempsey, who’s watching this with quiet concern and trying his best to be subtle about it. His slightly bushy brows furrow when Seph swallows and whimpers, visibly in pain. His free hand reaches up to tuck a stray braid behind Seph's ear.

“I'm sorry, I know it hurts…”

Seph’s heart sinks in his chest. He feels so utterly pathetic right now he could cry, but he doesn’t want to look ridiculous in front of Jonathan.

“It’s dot your fault,” he croaks. Fuck, talking really hurts too.

They've been trying to watch a shared comfort movie in bed with the lights dimmed, at Seph's request, because anything bright physically hurts. Except it's not helping much tonight…nothing seems to be. His head is swimming too much to concentrate, he's shivering and sweating and nothing feels comfortable no matter what position he's in. He just feels…absolutely wretched and useless.

“I know,” Jonathan murmurs. “I just wish I could do more for you.”

With a weak sigh, Seph buries his aching face in his boyfriend’s fisherman sweater. It’s about the only thing bringing him any kind of comfort right now. Jonathan hugs him to his chest, rubbing his nose on the fuzzy sections of hair where each twist braid begins.

Seph loves having such a human pillow for a boyfriend, always wearing soft clothes and down to cuddle…but being touched and held in this state is reminding him just how gross and repulsive he looks and feels. It’s not the first time Jonathan has seen Seph ill, but he’s never been this bad in front of him before.

The irony of all this is not lost on Seph, either. He’s fully aware of how stupid these feelings are, considering his own kink, and how into Jonathan’s sneezes, allergies and colds he always is. It’s certainly never put him off. But he still can’t help the way he feels about himself, and it makes him feel even more pathetic.

The truth is that he honestly doesn't really want anyone to see or perceive him like this…even Jonathan. Especially Jonathan.

Yet here he is, lying in his partner's arms, snotting and breathing his contagiousness all over him. Shame and disgust begin to bubble up inside him as he thinks about how disgusted by him Jonathan probably is right now.

He starts to pull away from the embrace, and is met with a perplexed look.

“What's wrong?”

“I—” Seph's voice catches dangerously. Wearily he closes his eyes, knowing he has no strength to keep his emotions at bay right now but still trying to fight it anyway. “I just—”

Sitting up further, Jonathan nods for him to go on.

“I feel disgustig,” he eventually chokes out, hot tears pricking his eyes.

Jonathan looks confused again for a fraction of a second. When he realises that Seph means it literally, his face falls. “Wait, what?” He reaches out, touching Seph's knee. “You’re not! Oh, Seph, of course you're not.”

Humiliated by his own vulnerability, Seph turns away from him. “I'b sorry. You shouldd't even be anywhere near be right now...”

“Please don’t say that.”

“Sittig here, breathig all over you…it's gross. I'll make you sick, too.”

Shaking his head, Jonathan frowns. “You know I don't care about that.”

Back still turned, Seph's shoulders slump, voice cracking as the first of a stream of tears spills over and escapes down his cheek. “Well I do.”

Jonathan's entire being softens. Taking a second to pause the movie, he turns his full attention back to him with gentle determination. “Babe, look at me.”

For a moment, the only response he gets is a sniffle.

“Please…”

Wiping his eyes, Seph reluctantly half-turns his body to face him again. His warm brown skin tone is almost ashen, nose running helplessly, teardrops clinging to his eyelashes. He looks so miserable, it's breaking Jonathan's heart.

“You are not disgusting, Seph. Not at all,” Jonathan urges softly, cupping his damp cheek in his palm and brushing away a stray tear with his thumb. “I don't think that, and I'm not letting you believe that either, not for one second. If you don't want me to touch you, that's completely okay, but if it's because you think I'm grossed out, then you're astronomically wrong.”

Seph briefly meets his eyes, a shaky breath escaping his parted lips. “You're dot just sayig that?”

“I'm not.” Leaning in, Jonathan presses their foreheads together, their noses, their lips. “I love you, no matter what condition you're in.”

This seems to be exactly what Seph needed to hear, because his eyes flutter closed with an exhausted sigh. Wordlessly his fingers wrap around Jonathan's wrist, another tear streaking down his cheek.

Jonathan smiles gently, closing his eyes with him. “It's okay to be sick, y'know. It's okay to feel shitty. You're not superhuman, and nobody expects you to be. Least of all me.” He presses a kiss to Seph's burning forehead, murmuring against his skin. “You helped me feel less embarrassed and gross about the things that are out of my control — I'm gonna do the same for you.”

Seph simply nods, letting Jonathan hold him while he calms down, which is answer enough for Jonathan.

As emotions begin to wind down, he reaches for the handkerchief that lives in his pocket and dutifully dabs at his lover's tear-stained face and leaking nostrils. The motion seems to stir up Seph’s oversensitive nose, though, because his breath starts to hitch.

“Heh—heh—!”

Quickly Jonathan clamps the handkerchief over the twitching nose before him, right as Seph explodes into a messy double sneeze.

“—yyISSHUHH! T’ISSCHH-uhhh…”

Jonathan cringes as Seph clutches at his throat in pain once more, shuddering and sighing. Gently he mops his nose for him a second time. “There you go.”

Finally, after allowing himself back into Jonathan's arms and having pressed play on the movie once again, Seph finds his words.

“Sorry for beig such a mess,” he muffles, curling against his chest. Breaking down like that was embarrassing…but he can work on being more okay with that, after he recovers from this nasty flu. Despite the humiliation, it did feel good to let it out to Jonathan and to feel so safe and comforted in return. If it had to happen in front of anyone, he's really glad it was him.

A soft hum comes from atop his head, where Jonathan's chin rests gently. “No more apologising, okay?”

For the first time tonight, Seph's mouth quirks up into the tiniest of smiles. “Okay.”

“Good.” He can't see Jonathan's expression, but he can hear the smile in his voice too. “And no more talking for a while. I can hear how much it hurts to talk, so…rest your throat, love.”

Nodding against his chest, Seph murmurs sleepily in agreement.

“One last thig,” he whispers, reaching up to grasp Jonathan's hand in his own.

“Mm?”

There are many words floating around Seph’s tired mind, all of the sentiments he wishes he could adequately express sitting on the tip of his tongue: Thank you. I'm sorry. I don't deserve you. But he settles on the most important one, the only one that truly encompasses everything he wants to tell him.

“…I really love you.”

He feels Jonathan pull back just a little, and looks up to see that half-grin of his that feels like a patch of warm sunshine all on its own. It's not going to cure him tonight, but it sure isn't hurting.

“I love you too. And I'm not going anywhere.”

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