#<main smut tags will be up for a short time then deleted
Text
Lights Camera Fuck
NSFW 18+ only - Minors/Ageless blogs DNI
Finished writing: November 23, 2022
Pairing: CC!Foolish, Afab!Reader, CC!Punz
Warnings: afab, picture/recording, choking (via bicep and fingers), pussy spanking, double pen (vag), mirror sex, each is a bit possessive in their own way, degrading praise, dacryphilia, hair pulling (punz/foolish receiving), squirting, strength(?), smidgen of dumbification, let me know if I forgot anything
A/n: OwO this fic is the longest I've ever written at almost 4.5k words. I put a shit ton of my energy and time into this so please don't let it flop T^T ♡ also reblogs are not required but very appreciated /nf
"I'm kinda nervous not gonna lie," Punz hummed while taking a picture in the mirror.
A few caught Foolish behind him who was also pacing nervously.
"Why so nervous sunshine?"
He turned in the chair to look at you. You were grinning from your seat on the couch. "Don't call me that,"
"Have you seen what you're wearing?" You shot back. Foolish joined in on your laughs.
Punz just rolled his eyes. "Just to be clear I look awesome,"
You snorted. "Yeah okay sunshine boy,"
Although your soft banter had helped, the room was still feeling a bit tense. It was just a camera, they were used to streaming all the time so you weren't quite sure what the problem was.
"You guys just have a lot of pent-up energy, don't you?" You watched them shuffle around more. Checking the time slyly, you continued. "We have plenty of time if you want to...expel some of those nervous jitters,"
Your suggestion was not nearly as subtle as you had intended.
Both of their heads snapped to you. It wouldn't be the first time you joked about having sex with the two of them and it definitely won't be the last, but there was something different about this time. Foolish had stopped pacing and Punz turned his body away from the mirror. The energy of the room had shifted making you squirm in your seat.
"I- I was just joking," you cleared your throat. Picking up your phone, you began scrolling panicked.
A hand grasped your phone taking it from your hands. They were both standing above you, giving the same look.
"Unless- unless you don't want it to be a joke," you whispered.
Foolish sat down to your side, a hand landing on your thigh.
"I think it's obvious what we want as long as you're offering princess," Punz grinned.
Foolish's hand climbed high and higher up your leg. You had been dressed in proper 70s attire to join them on stage, but it seemed your outfit would end up on the floor.
"I think it's obvious what I was offering. So why don't you just...take it," you spoke slowly.
Your chin was grasped and your mind short-circuited. Foolish slotted his lips against yours. Soft and gentle, the way he kissed you left you breathless. His tongue pressing into your mouth to move with yours. The faint taste of mint invading your tastebuds.
With your head tilted up there was perfect space for Punz to lean it and press a few kisses of his own against your throat. He tugged at your bottoms, waiting for your hips to lift. You obliged, letting him remove the clothing.
"I've been dying for a taste," Punz said to no one in particular. His body moved down the couch partially. "Wanna make more room for me?"
You shifted so your back pressed up against Foolish's chest. Creating more room for the blonde eager to be between your thighs. Foolish's heart was racing, beating against your back, and his forearms trembling under your touch. Was he as nervous as you?
His hands pet your sides as Punz pulled down your underwear.
"Excited are we?" Punz snickered, eyeing the wet patch that had begun forming on it.
"I'm sure your boxers are a matching sight," you watched him lower himself between your legs.
"Wanna find out?" Punz grinned sharply.
His first lap at your cunt surprised you. Unready for the sudden stimulation your legs clamped around Punz's head; at least attempted to that is. Foolish's arms locked under your knees, keeping you spread for the blonde between your thighs.
"That wasn't very nice," Foolish mumbled, one of his fingers coming down to press against your clit. It was a featherweight feeling, ghosting the pressure you needed.
"You were really gonna deny me a taste of this pretty pussy?" Punz pouted.
You shook your head, squirming in their grasp. Your hips attempted to buck up to satisfy your touch. "Please," you whimpered.
Punz sat up slightly. "I don't think you deserve my tongue," he mumbled.
You attempted to grab him, but the blonde pulled back just out of your reach. "No, wait," you whined. "Please,"
A genuine laugh left his lips as he made eye contact with you. Genuine tears of frustration now forming.
"You're gonna cry? All cause my mouth isn't on you? I'm sorry baby," Punz dragged his tongue up your thigh, swirling over your skin. Maybe it was pathetic, maybe it wasn't. Being between these two men was torturous enough as it was, and now being half naked and not being touched? Sinful.
"He's being mean, huh angel?" Foolish mumbled by your ear.
You nodded.
To your surprise, Foolish switched sides. He let go of one of your legs burying it into your friend's hair. He yanked Punz closer drawing a startled moan from him. The blonde didn't bother teasing instead getting straight to work, whines and moans leaving both of you. Foolish's tight grip on Punz's hair left him with very little room to move.
They were switches at best, and it seemed as though Foolish was winning the fight to be in complete control.
Punz's eyes were hazy, the only thought behind his eyes was your pleasure. Foolish let go of his hair moving back to keep your legs open. Your hips jolted, feeling Punz kiss your clit gently. Two fingers pressing in were accompanied by a small whine. A begging whine.
"Pull his hair," Foolish mumbled leaning down to kiss your neck. His tongue against your skin made you shiver. Your hand slowly made its way down to his hair, finger threading through. Your soft tug was met with a high whimper.
Oh.He wanted it.
You alternated between gentle and rough tugs as Punz opened you up. The only time he pulled his mouth away was to whisper "C'mon baby let go, you're squeezing my fingers,"
It was true. You were teetering on the edge, desperate to last as long as possible. Surely this wouldn't be the only thing that happens before the show, right? You needed more. Heat rushed through you as you finished on his fingers and tongue. Praise was given from both males, Punz kissing on your thighs and Foolish sucking marks onto your throat.
"Look so pretty when you finish," Punz locked eyes with you, removing his fingers. You watched him raise them, covered in your slick, to his mouth. Without breaking eye contact he cleaned them off with his tongue, a sharp whine leaving you.
You watched as Punz carefully and quickly removed the outfit meant for the show, later on, folding it to the side.
"Don't wanna get those all messy huh baby?" He grinned.
Foolish had let go of your legs, moving away from your back. It was a strategic move. They worked perfectly in unison, one taking over control when the other pulled away, making you briefly wonder if they had done something like this before.
Punz's hands grasped your waist as he moved you over his lap. Delicate fingers tugged and pulled the rest of your clothes off your body, leaving you on display for both sets of eyes to see.
After tossing the clothes to the ground, Punz grasped your hips sliding his cock through your slick. His cock bumped against your clit with every thrust.
"Fucking soaked just for us,"
"or maybe that's just from you being a messy eater," Foolish chuckled off to the side.
You could hear the rustling of clothes signaling the raven's undressing. Punz rolled his eyes, cheeks flushing at the others' comments.
"You're ridiculous,"
He said nothing else towards the raven, further amusing him.
Foolish shuffled closer as Punz began to tease you. The raven's tongue pressed against your chest, swirling across your skin. You whined as he flicked over one of your nipples, his hand coming up to gently twist and play with the other. His mouth was hot, burning you more than the blonde on your sides. You squirmed in their grasp, unsure of whether to lean in or pull away from the sensation.
Foolish was obsessed with the mewls he drew from your lips. Soaking in each noise he continued his actions.
You jolted, electricity running down your spine as his teeth grazed gently. It was a hypnotizing reaction, Foolish pulled away for just a moment, only to switch to your other one a few seconds later.
Punz was enjoying the show, he really was, but he thought he might die if he didn't get in you now.
“Alright enough," he gently pushed the raven's shoulder. Foolish moved back dazed. "C'mon baby, I think I know exactly where I want you. Go lean over in front of that mirror over there. Want you to see your pretty face as I ruin you," Punz mumbled against your neck, his hands releasing you.
With wobbly legs you stood and walked over to bend over the vanity just as he asked, Punz hummed appreciatively walking behind you.
"I think this will be a lot better," his finger trailed across your lower back. "You sure you don't want first turn?" Punz looked back at Foolish.
Within the mirror you made eye contact with Foolish, watching as he grinned.
"I'm sure. By the time I'd be done they wouldn't want you anyways," He stifled a squeak.
Punz was not amused.
"In that case you better fucking scream my name baby, I don't care if the fucking producers hear you back here. I want your voice gone by the time I'm done with you," Punz snapped, by your ear.
You spread your legs further feeling the tip of his cock bump against you. Slowly he pushed in, spreading you open. "Shit baby," Punz groaned. "You feel so good around me," he grasped your hips, giving himself an anchor.
The blonde had to allow himself a moment to breathe with how tight you were wrapped around him. This was heaven to him. His beginning pace was slow, enjoying the way you opened around him. You could see his head thrown back in the mirror, continuing his slow movements.
You squirmed beneath him, attempting to push your hips back to meet his.
Punz looked down smirking. "Sorry baby, am I not going fast enough? Was just giving a bit for you to adjust, but if you're so ready," he trailed off.
In your already pleasure-filled state, the sentence took a lot longer to process, by the time you realized what was said his pace had increased immensely. Punz's hips snapped into yours, your body moving closer to the mirror. It was almost impossible to not look at yourself or him while his hips kept yours pinned to the table below you.
"That better baby?" Punz teased, listening to the plethora of moans tumble from your lips. He could listen to the noises you made all day long. Each one fueled his need to draw more for you, but at the same time, they were too good to share.
"Actually. I changed my mind. Call me selfish, but these noises are mine," Punz said, shifting his hands. "Our pretty little whore, screaming just for me," his fingers pushed past your lips, shoving your tongue down. Each moan was now muffled by him.
If someone told you today you'd be being railed in front of a mirror while choking on Punz's fingers and Foolish watching you would have thought you were being lied to. That or some magical being finally granted your wish. Punz's harsh pants made you shudder.
"You like seeing me fuck you, baby?"
He turned your head to make eye contact with Foolish through the mirror. "He does. Look at him,"
Foolish was staring darkly at the two of you, his own hand working quickly at his cock.
"Look how much he wishes he was me right now, fucking this sweet pussy," his filthy words did nothing but spread heat further through you.
You wanted it, you wanted both of them. "Can do it," you whined around his fingers.
"Do what baby?" He pulled them from your lips, untangling with your tongue.
"Can take both,"
Both males paused.
"You wanna take both of us? At the same time?" Punz asked slowly, looking over at Foolish. The raven was all ears.
"Please," it was the same breathy whine that had them wrapped around your finger.
"We'll keep that in mind, but right now you're mine to touch baby," His hand was splayed against your tummy, moving higher until he reached your throat. Punz gave a light squeeze before moving even higher. He grasped your chin turning you to face him.
Every moan and whimper leaving your lips were instantly swallowed by his kiss. He tasted faintly of yourself and cherry, two things you knew he had previously consumed. His tongue pushed into your mouth taking complete control of the kiss. A spell of dizziness washed over you, the need for air had you tugging against his grip. Punz pulled away with a gentle nip to your bottom lip.
"Tell me how good I feel," Punz hummed.
Maybe this was part of the power he was dangling above your head, but his smirk only widened at your silence. "It feels so good doesn't it," he chuckled.
You were still acutely aware of Foolish's eyes on you. Shamelessly they raked over your body taking in the way your hole sucked Punz back in, the way your legs began to shake although this was only the beginning of your night. Foolish's stare made you shiver. There was no doubt he was currently deciding exactly how to pick you apart when he got his way. The realization of being incredibly close washed over you as burning heat.
"Please, wanna- wanna. Please?" you begged, stumbling over your words.
Foolish laughed off to the side before speaking. "Use your words, Punz doesn't know what you want,"
"Need to cum," You practically sobbed.
"Well of course," he purred. "Cum for me baby, cum on this dick," Punz's hands grasped your hips harder, you were sure there would be bruises later.
Watching your eyes flutter shut and head tilt down he tsked. "No, No, look at yourself, I want you to watch yourself come undone. Look at what I'm doing to you," Punz grunted, moving to tilt your head up. "Keep looking baby, you're not allowed to come until you do,"
Your hips slammed back against his as he pistoned into you. If his cock battering into that sweet spot wasn't getting you close enough to fall over the edge, the finger that now began circling your clit certainly was. On a choked moan of his name, you finished around him. Your eyes locked onto your reflection in the mirror.
"So good for me, for us,"
Foolish let out a sound of agreement.
You almost didn't get a good look at yourself as you finished, your sight going blurry at the intensity of the pleasure.
Punz's grip turned harsh, crescent-shaped nail marks appeared on your hips. "Take it all for me," he mumbled, dick twitching as he filled you. Punz warmed your insides, thrusting a few more times through his orgasm. Slowly Punz pulled out, admiring the creamy mess he made before taking a step back.
"I can take a picture, yeah princess?"
You nodded letting out a shy
"Yes,"
Foolish stood from his seat making his way over to your side. His hand landed on your hip, the warmth melting you.
Punz returned with his phone and snapped a photo or two. Surely he was creating a private spank bank. Though he could just ask for more and you'd gladly give it.
The hand on your hip began moving down, and down. Foolish gently spread you open, finger dragging through the mixture of your slick and Punz's cum leaking from you. You wiggled at the sensitive sensation making him push a hand down on your back.
"Hold still," Foolish demanded.
He made a wondering noise making you question his thoughts. A moan that could only be described as pathetic escaped your lips, a wet slap echoing in the room.
"Figures you'd like your pussy spanked," Foolish mused.
Punz shuffled behind you. "Wait I want to record,"
You jolted as there was another harsh smack right against your clit. You quivered under Foolish's grasp. With minimal effort, he kept you pinned against the vanity as he continued the smacks against you. Both of them had no issue overpowering you and the thought of that should not be as hot as it was. Your legs trembled beneath them, embarrassingly enough each smack was bringing you closer and closer. You tried to warn them with a choked cry of their names but neither listened. Punz and Foolish were in shock at you cumming.
"You get that?" Foolish whispered.
"Yeah,"
"Send that to me,"
Your sensitive walls fluttered around Foolish’s dick as he pushed in. The one hand was hastily wiped on a nearby tissue.
"That was fucking hot," Punz said tossing his phone to the side.
Foolish grunted in agreement settling into a harsh pace. His hand still pressed against your back pinning you there, not that he needed to. You were already jelly in his hold. Your body was pliant and gooey to whatever position he wanted; what Foolish wanted right now was for you to see how completely ruined for them you were.
The pressure on your back lessened suddenly as his hand moved. The endless moans that fell from your lips all but stopped as you squeaked in surprise. Foolish's hand had moved under you to grasp your throat and pull you up. Your arms braced yourself on the desk allowing him to hold you up.
If you thought you looked wrecked earlier, you were severely mistaken.
The marks across your chest and throat had darkened significantly, bite marks had now appeared on your skin, you were practically drooling, with eyes so darkened you didn't think you could tell the shade of your own eyes anymore. Punz's camera flashed, capturing this look. Foolish's hand was big across your neck, the way he gripped your throat tightly was something you were going to remember for the next few months.
Foolish leaned down over you, tilting your head up. His lips pressed against your forehead, mumbling distantly.
"Feel so fucking good,"
"Made for our cocks,"
"Wanna hear you moan louder for me,"
If your arms weren't trembling beneath you yet, they were not. There was another picture taken by Punz. That was at least 5 now. You wouldn't be surprised if he printed one to put in his wallet or be his home screen.
You didn't understand the words, if you could even call them that, falling from your mouth. Your begs were high and whiny, not even knowing what you were begging for.
Foolish chuckled by your ear, a sound that sent goosebumps through your body. "You like my laugh baby? Think it's pretty?" He asked, feeling you clench around him. "I think you're pretty,"
His words weren't getting to just you though. Punz had gone awfully silent, out of the corner of your eye you could barely catch the blonde thumbing over the tip of his cock. A breathy moan left him shakily.
"Pay attention to me," Foolish demanded lowly.
When you didn't look away from the pretty blonde quick enough, his hand was removed from your throat.
Instead his bicep slide across your neck pulling you off your arms and against his chest. This angle let him fuck deeper than before. Your nails clawed at his bicep, sobbing in his hold. The lack of air and way he thrust into you created a dizzying sensation that was almost too much. You needed more. Foolish flexed his bicep against you.
"Anyone home there angel? Looking a little fucked dumb," he teased.
Even as Punz whimpered from his own fist, your eyes remained trained on Foolish. He kept you pinned there with a simple stare. He, himself, was trying to keep it together. The look you were giving him was sinful. Lust paired with the most head-over-heels-in-love look you could muster.
"You keep looking at me like that baby and I'm gonna make sure you're fucked stupid on my dick all the time," he mumbled just loud enough for only you.
You gasped, writhing against him. Foolish grunted feeling you clench around him tightly. "Fuck," he breathed harshly. "Being spoiled today angel," Foolish fucked you slowly through your orgasm, attempting to not cum just yet himself.
He suddenly let you go from his bicep. "Punz," Foolish waited for the blue-eyed male to look up at him. "Don't cum yet,"
Punz rolled his eyes letting go of his dick.
"I've got a better idea,"
Standing from the couch he seemed to get what Foolish was saying.
"They did say they could take both," Punz hummed thoughtfully.
Slowly Foolish pulled out, turning you to sit on the vanity.
Punz tilted your chin up. "What'd you say, princess? Think your pretty cunt can still take both?"
You nodded mutely, smiling up at them.
Punz shook your head gently making you give a dazed smile. "You're just so cute. Not a single thought behind those eyes,"
Foolish wrapped his arms under your legs lifting you up. You panickedly threw your arms around his shoulders to keep yourself steady. Once again they had no trouble holding you in the air which surprised you greatly. Foolish slid back in first, groaning as he did. He didn't move, instead staying buried deep as Punz began getting you ready.
"You sure you can take us, pretty baby?" He kissed the back of your shoulder.
A lubed finger pressed in beside Foolish's dick making the two of you whimper.
"Wouldn't wanna break you on our first time together,"
A second finger slid in with ease. Your nails dug into Foolish's back, scratching up his back. He hissed softly at your actions, adjusting his grip on you.
"You're so fucking tight princess," Punz marveled softly, his third finger pushing in gently. He continued opening you on his fingers, Foolish lifting you on his cock slowly to help. Finally, Punz pulled out his fingers, pressing himself against your back.
"Think you can take me too now?"
You whined nodding your head.
Foolish stared at your tear-filled eyes, wondering briefly if it was wrong to want to see them fall. He buried his face into your neck as Punz began pushing in next. The three of you moaned together as he bottomed out beside the raven.
"Fuck there you go, fit both of us so good," Foolish panted.
He glanced up at your face, part of him wished he hadn't. It took all of his strength to not lose it right then and there. Your back was arched against Punz, the tears he so eagerly awaited to fall were streaking down your cheeks, and your eyes had almost rolled all the way back.
"Wait a second," Foolish breathed harshly.
He thought he might cum if either one of you did something. Just the feeling of his dick pressed against Punz's within you almost set him off. It was a feeling he thought he'd never feel; honestly, he wouldn't mind feeling it again.
Once Foolish had gained a little control back he gave a short nod to Punz. The first thrust from the both of them was hesitant, waiting for any sense of discomfort from you; but there was none. In fact you begged and pleaded for it harder, faster, for them to fuck the soul out of you. Punz's teeth latched onto your shoulder, leaving quite the mark of his own.
"Please," you sobbed, your fingers threading into the Foolish's hair. It was long and unknotted, though not for long.
"I know baby, we know," Foolish cooed.
"Don't worry your pretty little head," Punz added. "We'll fill you up real good,"
Maybe it was the two dicks fucking into you or maybe it was the promise of being stuffed with their cum; but it was just enough to send you into a fit of pleasure. You quivered violently in their arms, liquid splashing against their thighs.
"Oh- fuck," Foolish grunted.
The moan that left his lips when you accidentally tugged his hair had you clenching harsher.
Punz whined behind you as you tightened, also having squirted on their dicks. You went all but limp in their hold.
They followed quickly behind filling you as promised, but they didn't stop. Foolish and Punz continued rutting into you, fueled by desperation and need. They were addicted. Foolish's arm shook beneath you, signaling his dwindling strength.
"Couch?" Punz asked.
"Mmh," Foolish agreed, pressing a quick kiss to your lips.
They slipped out, letting you down gently, and setting you on the couch.
"Keep those pretty thighs open" Punz grunted, hand on his cock.
Apparently, they still had the energy for one more. Luckily you only had to leave your trembling legs open for a few moments as both Foolish and Punz finished once more. This time their cum spurted onto you, covering the insides of your thighs and core.
Foolish leaned down kissing your knee before moving to rub untainted parts of your thighs. "Did so good," he smiled gently. He opened your legs admiring as a mix of their cum slowly began dripping from your hole. "That's hot,"
One more picture was snapped before Punz leaned over with water for you.
"Careful,"
They were delicate with their hands, cleaning and putting you back together before the show started. Punz had run out to grab one of his hoodie he had left elsewhere on the set and tugged it over your head. Foolish himself was pulling an extra pair of sweatpants he brought with up your legs.
"You wanna stay in here or come sit out with us?" He asked.
Watching you tiredly nod was more than enough answer to his question.
They set you up comfortably, leaving one of their phones to replace your dead one so you could watch them from the dressing room before they straightened each other out. There were many promises of a proper bath with them, and some takeout once you returned home.
As they left, all three of you made a mental note to rock paper scissors to decide who was going to tell Austin that the dressing room will need to be thoroughly sanitized later.
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Taglist: @shitshowblog @icarusthefoolish
#celestial:scribbles#celestial:pnz#celestial:fooshg#punz smut#punz x reader smut#foolish smut#foolish x reader smut#mcyt x reader smut#mcyt smut#<main smut tags will be up for a short time then deleted
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We still have 15mins
Pairings: Jongho x Y/N
Genre/tags: secret relationship
Warning: 🔞 smut/angst, cursing, pet names, mention of alcohol/drinking, smoking, jealousy
~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]
Words: 1.3k
Disclaimer:
- this story is just made up
- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊
Note: last one for the short one shots/drabbles. This was the last one i posted before the whole 'i deleted my acct issue' 😭 ughh now... thank you for all the likes and reblogs btw.
Will try to post more when inspiration comes and have a break at work and my sideline 😅
***
Your department all went out last night to celebrate one of your team's birthday. Every one had a drink and had a blast doing karaoke, particularly you. You rarely go out to party since you are always in the office doing work. And during your free time its either you are at home sleeping or visiting your sister who just gave birth a few months ago to help.
"There she is!" Your friend, Han says as you approach your desk beside him. "The main event!" He is teasing you from last night. You had quite a drink so you sang your heart out like younare having a solo concert last night.
"Stop!" You cover your face embarassed.
"I didn't know you could last that long..." he adds
"I didn't either." You sit on your chair, still giggling.
"Next time... when we are free again. Let's go another round! I will have to battle you. I just got drunk early so I didn't got the chance to sing more."
"Sure! Why not? Let's see who will last long..." You agree
"Last long... on what?"
Both you and Han stiffens as you both heard his voice.
"Ahm, sir?" Han slowly turns around, smiling.
It's your boss, Jongho. The owner of the company you are working at.
"What are you guys talking about? Is it related to work?"
You roll your eyes, "Sir... it's not yet 8am..."
Han's eyes widens. "Yah... what are you doing?" He mouths
"I see..." Jongho snorts a laugh but it sounded irritated.
"Y/N, come to my office." He turns his back to both of you. "Now." He orders
Han panicks and starts nagging you. "Why did you talk back? Oh my gosh! I hope he does not fire you or what! Omg Y/N!"
You smile at him, "Don't worry... he will not fire me. We are not being lazy at work. We arrived 30mins ahead of time... plus we are only talking about our karaoke last night.nothing suspecious..." you stand up and grab your notebook and pen. "Plus... he'll not survive without me. I sort all his schedule and reports." You wink at your friend. "He needs me."
You bravely walk towards his office at the end of the suit. Pushing the heavy wooden double doors, you see him standing near the window, looking outside.
"Close the door." He says
You did as he says. Then you strut your way towards his desk.
"What can I do for you, sir?" You say with a tone like he didn't just asked you to come in after talking back at him.
He breathe a small smile. "You're a dare devil... talking back to me..." he turns to face you. His arms crossed over his chest.
"Well... you are acting up. Han and I were just ta--"
"Han and I...?" he repeats your words. "You two... are close?"
"We are. He's a nice person. And funny..."
His expression changes. He snarls at your answer. "Y/N... are you trying to make me jealous?"
"No...but... are you?" You ask, smirking.
He inhales and exhales. He's trying to control his senses and thoughts. "Don't mess with me... you know the consequences if you do..."
If he could use his position in your work to taunt you or make you do things with his order, you can too play the same game with him by using your charm and making him jealous.
"And what if... I know..." you say as you put your pen and notebook on his desk, leaning forward a bit making sure he sees you are wearing something sexy under that blazer you are wearing. "And I don't care... what will you do?"
The push up bra that your sister gifted you last christmas came to handy today.
"Come here." He orders
You gladly walked around his desk, to stand in front of your boss who is also your boyfriend, that no one knows.
"You are being so naughty..." he cups your face and then kisses you on the lips.
"Coz I could sense that my CEO has been wanting my attention so bad at work lately..." you move forward, making sure there are no space between you two. "See...he's already hard and wanting me." You add as you palm his hard erection.
"I do want my girl's attention so bad..." he hums as he kisses you on the neck. "But she's busy talking to other guys... and I don't like that..."
You giggle as you find Jongho so cute when he's jealous and needy for your attention. "You know your my only man right..." you caress his erection even more as he trail kisses on your exposed skin. "You're the only man I love..."
"Ugh..." he hisses as your hand continues to tease his bulge, squeezing it lightly even. "Fuck." He hisses, moving his pelvis along your rythm.
"Do you want my help?" You ask watching him close his eyes, feeling every touch and caress you give him.
"I have a meeting at 8am sharp."
"We still have 15mins." You grin then pushing him to his chair. "Spread your legs..." you order as you take your blazer off revealing the v-neckline top you are wearing that shows a very good amount of cleavage.
"Fuck Y/N...." he is already breatheless just by watching you man handle him. He likes it when you take control. "Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"
He is so sensitive and excited at the same time.
When you unzip his trousers and pull out his thick length, you could see and hear him already moaning under his breathe by just the vision of you holding his dick and pumping him.
"Shall we talk about your schedule for todag while I pump you or... do you want me to..." you pause and run your tongue from the base to the tip of his cock, also licking the pre-cum. "Fuck you with my mouth."
"Fuck the schedule!" He snarls, throwing his head back. "Y/N... I want your mouth..."
You smile, "Okay sir..."
You take his whole thick length in your mouth. You make sure that every inch is wet and tasted. You swirl your tongue around him, feeling every vein and roughness of it. You are getting high just by the fullness his cock is giving you.
"Holy shit.... nggghuuuhhh..." he is on heaven right now. He is sweating bullets everytime you suck him. "Sweetie, your so fucking good."
You like it when he compliments you. It's making you to do well and more.
You bop your head in a rythm that is making him go insane. His tip reaching the back of your throat and the warmness of your mouth is making his length twitch and ready to explose.
"Fuck! Sweetie, I'm.... aaaahh nggguuuuhhhhh..." he's about to come. Although he wants you to swallow, he can't risk it at the office. He moved so quickly and grab the nearest tissue and pulls out and let himself come into his hand.
You are giggling watching him empty himself in his hand, "that's quite a lot." You wipe the corner of your mouth. "Next time... I would love to have all of that be inside me..."
"Don't worry, Sweetie." He grunts cleaning his length. "Tonight... you can have all of me in you..." he smirks.
"I can't wait." You say as you start to fix yourself up. "Or maybe later? Lunch break?"
He frowns. "I thought I have a scheduled meeting at lunch right?"
"Well..." you lean in for another kiss whilst you voluntarily fix his trouser, zipping it as well. "I had your meeting booked at this restaurant... the same hotel that we first...you know..." you trail off
"Perfect." He smiles, grabbing a handful of your ass. "See you later at lunch then."
#ateez x reader#ateez fanfiction#yuyu1024#ateez x y/n#ateez fanfic#ateez x female reader#atz x reader#ateez imagines#ateez smut#smut#fanfic#ateez jongho smut#ateez jongho#jongho smut#jongho x reader#jongho x y/n#atz jongho#atz x y/n#kpop fanfic#kpop smut#smut writing#choi jongho#ateez scenarios#ateez imagine#ateez hard thoughts#ateez angst#atz angst
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RULES:
These are five years old and are going to change with things to be added in the next few days, but they’re mostly the same! A i was informed they weren’t showing up on my blog so I made a pin for now
Muses:
Generally the entire show, but my mains are Alastor, Lucifer, and Charlie
Following and Unfollowing
I am selective.
I will only follow back blogs I actively wish to RP with. Or people I’ve made friends with. I’ll be ever grateful for every follower I get, but it doesn’t mean I’ll follow you back.
You don’t have to be an rp blog for me to rp with you. One of my partners is just a normal fandom blog. Writing is writing C:
I don’t do exclusives. For me I find it takes a lot of the opportunities away to get to know more cool people. If you want to make me an exclusive for something…go right ahead, but I won’t do the same. You’ll simply stay my partner. I want to be able to interact with everyone. That being said, I do mains! That doesn’t really mean anything other than your blog would be the first I tag if I see something that reminds me of our muses, that sorta thing.
If I hear wind that you’re harassing any of my friends you’re done. And if you’re harassing me in any way. I do not put up with bad treatment of my friends or me. You don’t want a block from me. Jordan doesn’t block ANYBODY.
Threads and Communication
Sometimes I’ll have long posts, sometimes short ones. It depends purely on my inspiration at the time, but I’ll always put my best effort in. I want you to do so too!
Before writing any verse you want to do, please talk to me first C:
I LIVE FOR RANDOM STARTERS TBH. It’s like…waking up to Christmas morning and seeing your present. Mutuals please drop me a random starter any time.
I play my characters the way I want to play them, the way I interpret them. So if you don’t like how they’re played, that’s fine, but I’m not likely to change it.
If you send IC memes please specify the muse, since…well, I have the whole show.
I’m of age so I do smut but nothing too-too graphic. It will be tagged of course.
My threads are for my PARTNER only. Or partners if it’s a threeway. Please do not reblog them. You can like em, you can use the little reply button to say something–if you really want to talk about something that’s happening in them shoot me a message-but do not reblog unless you are said partner. C:
For the love of God, don’t hound me. I’m aware I can take a while to reply, but I have a lot of threads usually at the same time and some I have more muse for than others. Please don’t link me to our thread, please don’t say “it’s your turn” or some sort of variation of passive aggressive harassment. You aren’t going to make me respond faster. You are just going to spark my anxiety and make me resent our rp. If it’s been four days feel free to message me–not four hours.
Unless you’re a canon character my muse needs to get to know you a bit. C: So it’s unlikely you can just pop up to one of my muses, never having met, like ‘hi, how you been?’ and not have them be like “who da fuck are you"
Shipping
Shipping will mainly be thread-dependent. If you feel like our muses may mesh, go for it!
I will not tolerate hate for what I ship. I don’t need to be told I’m shipping something unhealthy because chances are I’ll state it’s unhealthy and I by no means condone dating a psychopath in real life. Hate will be deleted and blocked.
When it comes to OC ships and any ship really, ship needs chemistry. Do not force a ship onto my muses. They need to get to know each other, and this mainly applies to OC ships–not so much the pr-established characters in the show. If I already ship it, I’m down to jumping straight into a shipping thread.
Crossovers
I am mildly less selective with crossovers since this show is literally…all about crossing over into other media. I’m still selective but not as much. For my own comfort I won’t be rping with characters from the Sonic franchise.
Triggers and Tagging
I know very little about triggers myself and what people consider a trigger. IF you want something tagged you’ll have to ask. I’ll be clueless otherwise, but I will tag all ships. And the basic gore and blood and such. Be aware of the fact I have bad memory problems. If I forget to tag something you asked me to tag I’m sorry, it wasn’t on purpose.
This is an insanely dark show and there will be a lot of blood and gore and horror. There will be torture and killing talk, but it will still be tagged.
Mun Notes
I have serious memory problems. Like, really bad due to a combo of illnesses. Cut me some slack, I’m going to forget rules and probably certain triggers if I’m not used to tagging them. You have no ida how many friggin rule pages I’ve read on this blog. I’ll do my best but I’m going to forget, and probably more than once. It’s not my fault, I’m trying my hardest.
I do not do passcodes. For some reason they make me…severely anxious and I don’t know why. If we rp, I’ve read your rules, rest assured. If you really really depend on a passcode…well, we probably won’t be rping then. ;-; sorry.
I’m a physically disabled person who’s online rather…all the time because I can’t work really. So rp is like all I got going on right now as I work on my animation portfolio at home.
I’m a very sweet twenty two four old that loves to talk to people. Talk to me any time about my muse, about anything! Feel free to approach me just to talk in general. I really love people! We don’t have to rp to be friends.
And finally, what I write, my characters’ views do not reflect my own. I do not condone the destruction of entire civilization or eating babies. Unless they are tasty babies.
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Welcome to my x-reader blog! Click read more to read my rules before requesting!
Requests: Closed
CyberRose’s Kinktober 2023
Masterlist
WIP List
AO3 Link
If you enjoy my work and wish to donate, you can buy a cube of energon on my Ko-Fi! -> https://ko-fi.com/cyberrose2001
This will mainly be a Transformers x Reader blog. I will write fics that come into my mind or you can request them! My ask box will remain open most of the time so feel free to drop by! I will try to write as often as I can (I work night shift as a nurse so there may be a delay). I can write for any character and if I am unsure TF Wiki is only a click away. Continuities that I can write for are down below 👇
ABOUT ME
Hi! I'm Rose or Moni. I'm a silly Australian who's a bit too obsessed with transformers, specifically Ratchet. A couple of interests of mine are writing, fitness, traveling, paleontology/fossil collecting, space/the universe in general, and some others I haven't identified yet. I have a wonderful boyfriend who I love very much (@uselessmicrowave I LOVE YOU TOO POOKIE <3).
Transformers Prime (main continuity)
Transformers: Robots In Disguise (2015)
Transformers Animated
Rescue Bots/Rescue Bots Academy
NEW! Transformers Cyberverse
When I get around to watching other shows and reading the IDW comics they will be added here as well. Bayverse I will only do headcanons/short scenarios for since it’s not my favourite and it’s hard to write longer scenarios for.
RULES FOR REQUESTING
- Please check my bio to see if requests are open or not before you send in a request!
- You must be 18+ to request anything, if you’re not over 18 and request anything you’ll be blocked.
- If you are sending a request as anon, you need to either DM me with your age group in bio or send a separate ask without anon enabled so I can verify if you are 18+ or not. The separate ask will not be posted and will be deleted (I’ve had minors request valveplug and was unaware that they were underage, please don’t try and cheat me because I will find out. That’s why I’m taking extra precautions).
-Please specify which continuity you would like for me to write for. If you do not specify, then I will pick for you.
- Max of three characters at a time, includes headcanons and scenarios.
-I will not write for human characters.
- Please specify if Organic/Human or Cybertronian
- Canon x Reader only, I don’t write Canon x Canon currently.
- Specify genders/pronouns where ever possible, especially if you’re requesting NSFW. If not, I’ll most likely default to GN or AFAB/Fem reader.
I’m comfortable almost anything. Here is a brief list of what I can do. If you are unsure or if it is not listed here, just flick me an ask:
Angst
NSFW/Smut
Poly relationships
Kinks
Dub-con and cnc
M/M and F/F
These are not ok. If it is morally wrong, illegal or if it makes me extremely uncomfortable I won’t write it.
Extreme gore (body fluids are fine, just not graphic deaths that go into detail)
R*pe
Underage
S*icide and s*lf harm
Bestiality/Zoophillia
TAGS
Soon I will be cleaning up my blog and re-tagging things + adding additional tags.
- #fluff or #sfw
- #suggestive
- #valveplug (feel free to block this tag if you don’t want to read robot porn or the naughty asks that I get!)
- #ask (for any asks that I get that aren’t fics. These may get spammy from time to time)
- #cyberrosewrites (for all of my fics!)
- #my requests (for any fics that I have requested from other authors!)
-#not my writing (for fics I reblog that aren't mine)
-#repost (for things I reblog)
- #moni shitposts and #moni monologues (for my rants and rambles)
- #miscellaneous (for content unrelated to transformers or other random stuff)
Feedback is greatly appreciated on my works! Spam liking + reblogging is also appreciated! I am also always looking for friends on here so feel free to DM me and we can simp or talk about these silly robots together.
(This post will update so check here frequently)
#cyberrose rules#cyberrosewrites#transformers#transformers x reader#tfp x reader#tf rid 2015#tf rid 2015 x reader#tfa x reader#tf rescue bots x reader#tf bayverse x reader
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20 Questions for Writers
@myfairkatiecat Thanks for the tag, sorry this took so long. (@sophieswundergarten thanks for the reminder 💕)
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
8 so far. It's not a lot, but I make up for it in length.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
417,645 💀
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Exclusively tmbs so far, but I plan on doing some Wolf359 fics when I (finally) finish the podcast. Sadly all my ideas are long. I'm sorry.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Since I have so few fics I'll just give the list:
S.O.S., by a lot. I'd like to thank the show's cancellation for my unexpected success.
The Oldest Siblings , mainly due to it's association with SOS (it's the prequel in the series)
Treat Them With(out) Mercy
Who You Were Meant To Be
A Joy To Obey and It Should Have Been Us are tied
The Boys Who Waited
Sirens of the Sea and Sky: dead last with 3 modest kudos. This fic is the equivalent of having a kid in a school recital who screams the whole time and knocks down the set. He might be a disaster, but he's my kid and I'm proud. This fic is ridiculous, but it makes me laugh anyway. I don't know how burnt out finals Bods came up with this, but by golly...she did.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Of course! I think I've responded to every comment I've ever gotten (if not I'm so sorry please let me know). I appreciate every one of them, and I love talking about the ideas in my idea and the fics I write, so please know that every comment you leave totally brightens my day! 🥰
6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Hm. Right now "The Boys Who Waited" probably has the angstiest and most ominous ending, but we'll see what happens.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Probably "A Joy To Obey" since it's my main fluff fic with a nice ending. A great read if you like lighter stuff.
8. Do you get hate on your fic?
Not yet. If I did, I'm not even sure what I'd do. Depends on the hate. I might cry. I might laugh, honestly. I don't think I'm nearly important, good, or noticeable enough for that so I might be a little flattered ngl (unless it was something vulgar or hateful towards a certain group of people then I'd delete and block the person). I'm sure people have read my writing and not liked it, but I think they just click away.
9. Do you write smut?
No, that's not for me. Especially because I'm writing for a children's fandom, I just don't think that's appropriate.
10. Do you write crossovers?
No, but I've done some AU's on tumblr.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of. Also this is a small fandom so if a fic of mine DID get stolen, it would be pretty awkward and obvious. Don't plagiarize kids.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, but I'd be honored if anyone wanted to do that!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic?
No, but that could be fun!
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
Why the MV Shortcut, of course! /jk
I don't really have a lot of ships I get super invested in, I prefer platonic relationships. If I think of one I'll let you guys know.
15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
You'll find out. (Don't worry about SOS. I promised I'd finish it and I intend to keep my word).
16. What are your writing strengths?
According to my readers, dialogue, characterization, themes, weaving multiple storylines together, and plot twists.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I can't write a short fic to save my life, and I can't edit to save my life. I also just publish my first drafts because I have no impulse control (sorry).
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
Funny enough I’ve done this, but only canon MBS dialogue where I've translated it directly from the show's subtitles. If I made an error, please let me know.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Mbs, and so far just mbs. Hoping to expand someday when I magically have more time (and finish Wolf359).
20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?
SOS, just because of what a fun journey it's been.
Tags: @phtalogreenpoison @oflightningandstars @mvshortcut @sqenthusiast @itsgoghtime @amphibious-entity @mysteriouseggsbenedict and anyone who hasn't been tagged yet but wants to do it (sorry if I accidently double tagged)
#This was fun thanks for tagging me!#tmbs#tmbs fanfic#mbs fanfic#ask game#Bods Answers#Ao3#ao3 author#ao3 writer
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⭐️REQUESTS CURRENTLY CLOSED⭐️
My main Masterlist is ASOIAF only (and quite outdated aaaghh) here are the non-asoiaf fandom masterlists: Peaky Blinders, Lackadaisy, Band of Brothers/Misc
☆Currently Writing For:☆
ASOIAF (books >>> show), Lackadaisy
☆Characters☆
♡Generally anyone; it's pretty rare I won't write for someone but I'll let ya know. Sometimes I just have zero interest in the character OR I know little of them.
♡ASOIAF - No House of the Dragon characters, I don't watch it. Book canon over show. Robert's Rebellion is my fav era. It's a pain to go on abt who I do or don't write for so just ask, there's so many damn characters.
♡For Lackadaisy - Pretty much all characters in the comic.
☆Format☆
♡Long Headcanons, Short Headcanons, Drabbles (ficlets under 1k), Quick Thoughts, etc only. I've linked examples. No guarantee I'll do what u want, sometimes I've got way more or way less ideas.
♡NO ALPHABETS OR LONG FICS OR FIC SERIES. Yall how much time you think I got???
♡If you request a single character but I love the prompt, I might add more. Soz not soz! Regarding ASOIAF i wont write for every single person but I'll try to include most of what's asked.
♡I do not do shipping posts - i.e., describing yourself and asking for a ship.
☆Specifications☆
♡Any requests directly related to SA, rape, domestic abuse, incest, noncon, the reader dying, etc will be deleted. If I reference these in my post of my own violition, I'll put up a warning. If you'd like me to tag something so you can blacklist easier lemme know.
♡I know for some media, violence/dubcon/etc is expected. I will use my own discretion for these requests and put up any warnings.
♡Most posts lean femme-centric bc of the fandoms I write for, but I'll do my best to write GN or add on GN options/HCs and mention them as such.
♡NO SPECIFIC NSFW REQUESTS. I will add NSFW and ☆spice☆ at my own discretion. Respect this.
♡Underage Reader will only be used in childhood/familial/platonic requests. No smut. Requests for characters who are canonically underage will be platonic/familial only. Any "shipping" will be crushes, puppy love, etc.
♡Overly specific and long descriptions of the "Reader" (such as appearance, personality and/or whole-ass backstory) will be ignored. I am not writing your story.
☆In Closing☆
♡Don't be rude or pushy when requesting. I am a person, not a content factory.
♡I do my best to do requests in order as I receive them, but sometimes I like to cluster fandoms or related characters together. And sometimes I do what's interesting at the time.
♡Request spam will be ignored.
♡Any requests breaking these rules will be deleted.
♡Do not DM me requests or about requests.
♡Do not ask when it'll be finished - this is for fun, and I have a life.
♡Reblog or comment if you want! Idgaf, but kind words are always appreciated and devoured. Yumyumyum
♡also if u ever wanna just, be feral about headcanons and ur thoughts about a character u can always message, i find them delightful
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Thanks for tagging me @enbysiriusblack @squintclover and @mppmaraudergirl 💕💕💕!
1. how many works do you have on ao3?
33 (I had more, but every few months I delete 1-2 things I’m not mad about so it doesn’t grow?)
2. what's your total ao3 word count?
612,715 🥰🥰🥰
3. what fandoms do you write for?
Only the marauders era HP
4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1 - We Can Be Heroes : my canon marauders fic (Jily and Wolfstar) with the ending they bloody well deserved
2 - it was A Little Risk which is a 1930s murder mystery/Anti-fascist AU but I’ve taken it down!
3 - Boys Don’t Cry: the prequel to We Can Be Heroes. A prank fic mostly from Sirius Black’s POV (pre relationships).
4 - Maybe I Waited Too Long - a doctors!marauders AU with Wolfstar and Jily. I had a laugh writing this one.
5 - This Is The Way The World Ends - it’s heartbreaking and a canon divergent Wolfstar AU about Remus getting bad news…
5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?
I always usually do, it’s one of the main reasons I love writing fics!! Without the interaction I wouldn’t bother posting istg!! People can be so kind and generous 🥺❤️
6. what is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Probably number 5 because it has MCD and apparently made people cry? But equally, I did write 3 short fics about 31st October 1981 from Jily, Sirius and Remus’ POV and that was pretty heartbreaking/ ugly crying stuff.
7. what is a fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Most of my fics have happy endings it’s probably a toss-up between We Can Be Heroes and Have Yourself a Merry Little Wolfenoot
9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?
Nope! All mine are either T rated or fade to black
10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?
I’ve only ever written one, a LOTR/Marauders crossover, and I actually had great fun trying to write it in LOTR style? Wolfstar are Éowyn and Faramir. It’s called Ithilin and Silmë (only wrote it because @therealrjlupin wanted it 💙)
11. have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not as far as I know!
12. have you ever had a fic translated?
I did! It was a Jily celebrity AU translated into Chinese that I thought wasn’t any good and have since deleted 😂😂!
13. have you ever co-written a fic before?
Once. It’s a WIP crackfic called One Line At A Time written with @mppmaraudergirl @theresthesnitch @missgryffin @mabeltothknows and @maraudersftw and it still makes me laugh, it’s bonkers I love them <3333
14. what's your all time favourite ship?
I’m sorry it’s so weird but I insist on putting Wolfstar and Jily/ Jily and Wolfstar tied for top spot, I just love these two couples so much <3333
15. what's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
I don’t keep WIPs that I’m not planning on finishing (I delete or orphan those), but the one I’d like to finish is BLAME (a what if…? First war AU)
16. what are your writing strengths?
I have zero clue sorry you’d have to ask someone who likes my writing. I mean I’ve made people cry so there’s that?? 😬🤣
17. what are your writing weaknesses?
Again, v hard to be objective aside from vague “it’s not great” stuff? I think it has improved with writing practice and with time.
18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I’ve done it in We Can Be Heroes - James speaks fluent Italian and Sirius speaks fluent French. As I can speak the languages it was ok, but I had to check with @constancezin to be sure the written French was ok!
19. first fandom you wrote for?
HP marauders
20. favourite fic you've written?
A Little Risk is the favourite thing I’ve written but I’ve taken it down, so my favourite marauders fic I’ve written and is still up is We Can Be Heroes or This Is The Way The World Ends.
Tagging @engie-ivy @mabeltothknows @therealrjlupin @annabtg @maraudersftw @greyeyedmonster-18 and anyone else who wants to <33
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🎇20 Questions for Fic Writers🎇
Tagged by @dreadfutures 💙 Thank you!
Tagging @chocochipbiscuit @farfromdaylight @rakshadow @skyeventide
Blank questions for your convenience! My answers are below the cut.
1. how many works do you have on ao3?
2. what’s your total ao3 word count?
3. what fandoms do you write for?
4. what are your top five fics by kudos?
5. do you respond to comments?
6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
8. do you get hate on fics?
9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?
10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?
11. have you ever had a fic stolen?
12. have you ever had a fic translated?
13. have you ever co-written a fic before?
14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?
15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? T
16. what are your writing strengths?
17. what are your writing weaknesses?
18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
19. first fandom you wrote for?
20. favorite fic you’ve ever written?
Answers!
1. how many works do you have on ao3?
If I count everything, 181. If we're not counting meta pieces, 163.
2. what’s your total ao3 word count?
802,674
3. what fandoms do you write for?
I've written for quite a few, but my big ones have been Fallout, Red vs. Blue, and Dragon Age. I've also written for The Penumbra Podcast, RWBY, Mass Effect, Person of Interest, and The 13 Clocks. (And now I'm also writing for Final Fantasy XIV, though I haven't posted anything yet and probably won't until after I'm caught up with MSQ.)
4. what are your top five fics by kudos?
Homecoming (Red vs. Blue, Tucker & Junior, rated T)
Juno Steel & the Fox's Teeth (Penumbra Podcast, Juno/Peter, rated E)
Sensibility (Penumbra Podcast, Juno/Peter, rated E)
Respite (Red vs. Blue, North/Wash/York, rated T)
Home Front (Fallout 3, Amata/F!LW, rated T)
I was genuinely surprised and charmed at how well-received "Homecoming" was (and continues to be), as I considered it fairly niche at the time of writing, but then, Tucker is a popular character. The response to my Penumbra fics certainly caught me by surprise, in the manor of, "OH, this is what it's like to write the popular pairing!" "Respite" was one of my very early RvB fics and it's not one I'm particularly happy with now, as I think I would have done certain things differently had I written it later, but nonetheless it was well-received; not a lot of people were actually writing North/Wash/York at the time. "Home Front" is one of my favorite Fallout fics I've written; I'm still proud of it.
5. do you respond to comments?
Yes, I try to! Sometimes I take a bit longer these days, but I do try to reply to every comment, barring the odd rude one which I'll just delete or ignore.
6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
It's maybe cheating to say The Fall, given that it's the second in a trilogy so the story isn't actually over at the end of that fic. But that fic is a downer the whole way and ends with the main character's probable death, so. It's pretty angsty. After that, I'd say "Please (Don't Leave Me)", an RvB South/CT fic where CT doesn't live and South is dealing with the aftermath, poorly.
7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I'd say I've written quite a few--I'm a big fan of the hard-won happy ending. I'm going to distinguish happy from fluffy here--I could pick any number of my one-shorts for fluffiest ending--and say The Landing, because relative to what comes before, and also canon, it's an incredibly happy and optimistic ending for Maine.
8. do you get hate on fics?
Rarely. The vast majority of my readers are perfectly sweet and kind. For some reason, my Mainelina fic has drawn the most bad commenters out of any. I wouldn't call those comments hate, but I have gotten a few that were pretty rude and/or backhanded. My guess is that I hit a particular unfulfilled niche with a long Maine-POV fic that happened to appeal to a particular kind of RvB fan, a kind who like Maine and like the fic but also felt the need to like, flex on me about it. Most of them have seemed not overly familiar with fandom etiquette and transformative fandom culture in general. Embarrassing for them tbh. I just ignore or delete them.
9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?
Whatever kind I feel like! Less in recent years perhaps, but that's less a lack of interest and more that I get bored easily if I feel like I'm writing something repetitive, and writing non-repetitive smut can be genuinely challenging! We only have so many words, descriptors, euphemisms, and slang terms that actually sound appealing when you're trying to write erotica, so I think writing good smut requires no small amount of creativity and resourcefulness, and I always admire those who do it well.
Bondage is a theme I've explored repeatedly. I would say that I enjoy writing established relationship smut the most because it can be assumed that the characters already know each other's likes and dislikes. But first-times can be fun too. I think I most enjoy writing smut between characters who trust each other and have a high level of emotional intimacy, whatever the specific activities involved might be.
10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?
To be honest I'm just not really a crossover person. I can find the idea of a crossover interesting, but at the end of the day I just don't enjoy transplanting characters out of their home setting as much as I enjoy exploring who they are within that setting and how it's shaped them.
11. have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yes. I had a kink meme fill straight up plagiarized once, very obviously, such that when I took it to the mods it was an open and shut takedown.
I've also had less cut and dry incidents, and those are much harder to know how to deal with. I have had people basically rewrite a scene that I wrote, using pieces of the same dialogue, almost as if they thought we were both interpreting a scene from canon when we were not, it was something that I had made up. And yet it's not really plagiarism strictly speaking, and it wasn't worth the social fallout of calling them out on it, so I never did more than grumble vaguely about what happened. I've also had things where like... I ran across something pretty distinctly inspired by a fic of mine that I know the author had read, without bothering to give me a shoutout. That's not theft, but it is a bummer.
In every such case if the author had just asked me, "Hey, can I borrow your idea here? Can I post a remix of your fic?" I probably would have said yes without hesitation. Hell, even if they had not asked and simply given me a shoutout in their author's notes, I would have been pleased to have inspired them. But they didn't do that, and there's nothing I can do about it but I am going to be cranky about it.
12. have you ever had a fic translated?
I did have someone ask about translating a fic of mine once, and I gave permission, but I never heard back after that, so I don't know if they ever did. (This is something I have blanket permission for, by the way, so long as you let me know about it!)
13. have you ever co-written a fic before?
Sort of? A friend and I did post a polished-up RP as a fic once, though we ended up not keeping it up. In general I think I'm a pretty solitary writer, though I wouldn't rule it out entirely, but I'd have to really feel that both my style and my writing process meshed well with my collaborator.
14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?
I'm too much of a multi-shipper to have a real answer to this.
15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
If I want on any level to finish it, then I consider it still on the table. It might take me years to get back to it, but I still mean to. I still want to finish Small Blessings. I still want to finish Radio Silence. I trust that their time will come, even if it's not now.
16. what are your writing strengths?
Character voice, I think. Both dialogue, and getting inside a character's head and writing a plausible inner monologue.
17. what are your writing weaknesses?
Combat, always combat and action scenes, though I do think I'm getting better with practice.
Selfishness. As soon as I need to write something as an obligation to someone else, I don't want to do it, which is why I'd make a terrible professional writer, at least one who has to write to order.
18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
Just write it. You don't have to italicize it or put some kind of indicator marks around it. Language is language. I think it's fine to post translations as a footnote but I don't think it's 100% necessary all the time, when it's something the reader can easily look up for themselves. I know I'm willing to do that kind of legwork for a fic I'm enjoying. I suppose it depends on the reader, and what kind of reader you want.
There are also times when it's perfectly fine to just write it in English (or the default language of the piece) while indicating in the narrative that the character is actually speaking in another language, such as ASL. Again I don't think you need to italicize or use some kind of weird formatting. Just write "He signed," and what he said in quotes like you would any other dialogue. If you've firmly established already that a character primarily speaks in ASL, you might not even need that. The reader can keep up.
Things do shift a bit when you're writing in a fictional language, especially one that's very incomplete and not a true conlang. I'll go with the obvious example of Dragon Age's Elvish (and yes, canonically the language is called Elvish or Elven, it's not called Elvhen, that's the people, not the language). Even if I string the appropriate words together, the meaning might not always be strictly clear to the reader out of context because Elvish is a pretty simple cipher. It doesn't have conjugation, for example. Nonetheless, I think often context clues can be enough for an engaged reader, especially if it's a word we encounter a lot in canon. Where it might not be clear, and if it's very important to the story, I will usually simply work some kind of translation into the narrative itself. This can work particularly well when your POV character also has it as a second language. Example from my Briala/f!Tabris draft:
Gheyna and Cammen, having finished tending to the halla, stood aside, hand in hand, and Gheyna waved. "Dareth shiral, Keeper. Talith, Briala, dareth shiral. Sylaise ma ghilana vhenas."
Cammen added solemnly, "Dareth shiral, Talith. Elgar'nan ma ghilana, lasa mala enasalin."
At that, Talith's expression grew solemn as well. "Ma serannas, lethallen. Dareth shiral."
Briala recognized a few words. Dareth shiral, "Safe journey." Vhenas, enasalin. And the names of the elven gods. Gheyna had bid the Hearthkeeper guide them safely home.
I personally prefer to stick to what we have in canon for Elvish (I'm not going to set myself up to be jossed if I don't have to), or if I ever really need an unknown word I'll make something up for myself. While there are some fanmade Elvish dictionaries out there, I'm not comfortable hanging too much of my own work on someone else's fanon, and also I inevitably disagree with some of their decisions on ambiguous canon words. (Ma does not mean "my," it means "you." This is consistent with every canon use of "ma" except one, and that one is in DA2 and is thus really, really likely to have been an oversight due to rushed development; every other instance of "ma" supports it meaning "you." Sorry, that has been eating at me for ages and I needed to get it off my chest. 😅) That said there are multiple fanmade Elvish dictionaries out there at this point, so if you're going to use someone else's, in this case I would strongly recommend supplying the reader with a link, both to credit the author and so the reader knows where to go to look up the words if they choose to. Don't assume that everyone knows you're using so-and-so's Elvish dictionary; I had never even heard of the big popular one until a couple years ago.
That was a lot, but at the end of the day, it's all about making a judgment call on how much you need to hold the reader's hand, as with anything; I personally tend to err on the side of trusting my reader, and if I assumed too much, well, maybe that's my mistake and maybe that reader wasn't my target audience anyway. 🤷🏻♀️ You'll figure out what's right for your work.
19. first fandom you wrote for?
The first fandom I wrote for was actually Dragon Age, but that early writing never saw the light of day. First fandom I posted fic for was Fallout.
20. favorite fic you’ve ever written?
OH MAN. That's hard! I referenced The Drop, my Mainelina trilogy for RvB, multiple times in this post so obviously I'm still pretty fond of it. I'll add to that Inroads, my Kimbalina series. For Fallout, I'm real happy with Home Front (Amata/F!LW) and Cast Your Bread Upon the Water (Dr. Li/Star Paladin Cross, past Dr. Li/Catherine/James). And for Dragon Age, my current faves are No Woman Rules Alone (Anora/F!Tabris) and A Pot to Piss In (Sera backstory fic).
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twenty-questions for fic writers
thanks for the tag @mosiva and @ashesandhackles!
1. how many works do you have on ao3?
27... for about two more days...
2. what's your total ao3 word count?
332,310. since february. which doesn't feel like it says anything good about me...
3. what fandoms do you write for?
only harry potter, my mind is too chaotic to comprehend others, i fear...
4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?
one year in every ten - you reprobates love murder mysteries!
bookbinding - you reprobates love rare pairs!
show not your face - you reprobates love filth!
the shack at the end of the lane - you reprobates love grief!
everlasting ink - you reprobates love delphini!
5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?
in general, yes i (eventually...) reply to every comment i receive.
i am generally not somebody who gets upset by comments (this is something i do for fun! it doesn't deserve the energy of being bothered by people trying to be edgy!) and i also have a principle of trying to give all commenters who appear on my work the benefit of the doubt. a lot of 'bad' comments are often simply poorly-phrased - they are written by someone who is young, or who has never encountered the themes of a fic before, or who is writing in something which isn't their first language, or who is trying to start a conversation but doesn't quite get the tone right - and i can say with certainty that having a commitment to not immediately jumping down those people's throats has led to some genuinely enjoyable conversations.
if someone is just being a cunt though, i will either give a simpering customer service answer - which annoys them and is funny - or i'll delete. life's too short to engage with dickheads.
6. what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
it's a toss-up between other women and of purer blood, the snow child, or enchanter's nightshade, as should not surprise us, given that either voldemort or merope are main characters in each of them.
7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
it's one hundred percent, without a doubt bookbinding, but of fics not already mentioned it's probably death (eaters) in paradise.
there's just something about bellamort on a package holiday which cheers me up no end.
8. do you get hate on fics?
every so often - although most people are lovely - and it tends to be so over-the-top as to be camp.
it gets me attention in the group chat as well. i love it.
9. do you write smut? if so what kind?
i do, and i won't stop.
i like everyone having a good time, whatever form that takes - no explicit noncon over here!
10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?
i'm pretty sure that there is literally no way that i have the skill to pull off a well-written crossover and i will never be inclined to test that theory.
11. have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that i'm aware of.
12. have you ever had a fic translated?
yes, and i love that for me.
13. have you ever cowritten a fic before?
no, which is why i've never been found dead hunched over my laptop with a knife sticking out of my back.
i would be appalling to cowrite with - i'm a last-minute, write everything in a tunnel of hyperfocus girly, and this is something which is not conducive to being a good team-player. doing any sort of group work at school or university was something i found utterly miserable, as did everyone who had the misfortune to be stuck with me, and there's no way i'm taking that on voluntarily...
14. what's your all-time favourite ship?
severus snape/lord voldemort, the fandom for which is basically just me and my cat.
i just think they belong together!
15. what's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
i will drag everything over the line eventually, but the one that looks the most likely to be nerfed at the minute is my james potter/lord voldemort... james is just so ludicrously righteous that he's refusing to follow instructions and fuck the dark lord.
16. what are your writing strengths?
never getting stuck on thinking anything through and following the story where it wants to go.
17. what are your writing weaknesses?
never getting stuck on thinking anything through and following the story where it wants to go.
18. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
i have, i suppose, technically written an entire fic in a constructed language, so i personally think it slaps as a concept.
and if i ever write seamus, i will absolutely make him a gaeilgeoir.
19. what was the first fandom you wrote for?
a set of harry potter books blink up at me.
sigh... it's always been you.
20. what is your favourite fic you've ever written?
this changes with the weather, so i'll say... nor all that glisters gold. because why not.
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20 questions for fic writers meme, tagged by @chubsthehamster -- thank you, friend! :D
1. How many works do you have on ao3?
42 at the moment
2. What’s your total ao3 word count?
269,795. Almost half of that is one fic though, lol
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Currently most active in Trigun, perennially/intermittently active in Nirvana in Fire, currently dormant in CritRole, and hiatus in Sandman. Interests wax and wane! And who knows what I'll discover next? Not me, that's for sure.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Mate, I write mostly gen fic. I'm not here for the numbers. A kudos means that a whole human being with thoughts of their own spent some of their precious moments on God's green earth reading my thoughts and kinda liked 'em.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do! ...........eventually. sometimes several years later. And why? I dunno, it just feels polite? Also human connection, even digital. That's a thing.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Probably Inference, but that's just because of the canonical main character death. Visitation Hours is bleak in implication, not in actual ending. My definition of "angst" does not always align with readers' definitions of "angst," which can be hilarious for me when I get weepy reactions on something I thought was relatively lighthearted.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I do 'equivocal' better than 'happy,' I think? The goal is emotional resolution or emotional discordance. Happy's incidental, which almost certainly means I don't write a lot of happy endings by the standard measure.
8. Do you get hate on fic?
Not hate so much as people who are belligerently confused? I get some bonkers fucking comments and anons sometimes, which I delete, a smattering of entitled weirdos, and a sprinkle of (typically unintentionally) back-handed compliments.
9. Do you write smut?
Nope! Suggestive, sure. Dirty language, if relevant. Implication, when called-for. Smut? Nope.
10. Do you write crossovers?
I have written a short series of crossovers between Machineries of Empire and Nirvana in Fire. Haven't written any since, but they're not off the table.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yup! More plagiarism than theft in entirety, though. At least once had someone lift a whole scene, dialogue, phrasing and all, and claim it as their own with obvious intent to get mileage without credit. And I have happened upon recognizable lines from my fics in other fics enough times to have several nickles. I get miffed about the latter, but the charitable assumption is just that it was a phrase fresh in their minds/recalled without association.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Into Russian, I think? Godspeed, fanfic translators, the strongest of us all.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I've co-written original stuff before, but I don't think I could ever do it again, original or fanfic. Not that it wasn't a pleasant experience at the time!
14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?
I don't have a favorite ship, but I do have a favorite dynamic, which is the mutual "you're the only motherfucker in this club who can handle me" a la that one Lorde tweet. The buckwildness has to be compatible, preferably complimentary. We're not talking enabling, though that can be part of it. It doesn't even have to be a ship. That grok/trust combination.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?
Look, I don't know what WIPs are going to get finished until I post them, okay?
16. What are your writing strengths?
I like character studies! And I feel like I am getting better at limited points of view, though they keep wanting to slide omniscient.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Same-hatting with @chubsthehamster here: plot. What the characters are doing in any given story is largely just to break up the dialogue and introspection. Things happening? They don't, sorry. Gotta work on this.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
For straight dialogue in another language, it's still dialogue, and it still has to serve the story, so if it makes more sense to drop it untranslated, drop it untranslated. If the reader needs to know what's being said, italics or paraphrase.
For mixed languages, it's totally situational and depends on the character, too. Did they just get back from an exchange program in France and they're insufferable about it? Are they a very new second language speaker? Are they an expat? A bilingual parent who wants their child to grow up speaking one language preferentially? An academic, or someone who learned their whole vocabulary based on a single vocation (ie: a doctor who can get by using Spanish in a medical scenario but not outside the clinic)? All of that is going to influence their speech pattern.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Nirvana in Fire!
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
Just as interests wax and wane, I like some fics more and some less, and today's favorite could be tomorrow's cringe.
Please consider yourself tagged if you see this and would like to play! @ me, if you like!
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20 questions for Writers!
been tagged by @sinvulkt in this awesome Tag game! thanks a lot!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
Currently, I have a 19 works on AO3, working on making it 20 by the end of this month
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
Im at 131,179 words. Considering I have a few smaller works it makes sense
3. What fandoms do you write for?
I mainly write in the Star Wars fandom and Hetalia (but as of now solely fics that feature my APH Québec OC) But I have fics in the Good Omens fandom, Heathers the Musical, Five Nights at Freddy's Loki (TV), and I am currently writing a Harry Potter longshot
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Ring of Fire, the first part of my Deserter Darth Vader AU
What Are You Waiting For, a tragic Heather Chandler/Veronica Sawyer fic
Whatever's still to come, my Elizabeth Afton Lives au in the FNAF fandom
More beautiful than flowers... , a FrUK fic with lots of flower language.
Truth for the Daughter, where Leia finds out who Anakin Skywalker used to be in my Deserter Darth Vader AU
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I always try to respond to my comments, since I don't get so many, they are always welcome. I enjoy the feedback and the compliments, and I always want to respond! <3
6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
What Are You Waiting For is definitely up there, considering one of the character of the main pairing is dead from the start.
I also have two super short fics in french about my Hetalia OC Québec that I consider gut wrenching, but they haven't been read much
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
The World We Knew, my Good Omens fix it fic after the devastating season 2 finale. it definitely has a lot of angst in it too, but the ending is pure fluff!
8. Do you get hate on your fic?
It has never happened, but at the same time I'm not a big author either.
9. Do you write smut?
I tried once, didn't go through with it. It was for a FrUK fic, which I didn't really like and deleted.
10. Do you write crossovers?
Before posting on AO3, it happened, it was a Marvel characters in Hogwarts thing.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
No, but once again, I'm not very well known.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I wish!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic?
Yeah, the Marvel at Hogwarts thing a lifetime ago. And also a historical fiction that never got posted anywhere.
14. What‘s your all-time favourite ship?
Oooh that's a tough one! It varies like each months or so. I think I haven't even written much for it directly, but Anidala!
15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
My FNAF fic. I have a super long and detailed AU outline with complexe character growth and tons of family angst with the Afton and Lizzy eventually taking over Fazbear Entertainement, but I lack time. In the meantime, I made a few artworks of it under the tag elizabeth afton lives au if you are interested.
16. What’s your writing strengths?
I'd say the inner monologue and the highly emotional scenes. I love to delve on the psyche and add parallels that hurt just write and use gut wrenching metaphors.
17. What’s your writing weaknesses?
Highly action dense scenes. I struggle with the pacing because I picture it clearly in my mind and can't put it into words.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
It can be nice, but considering that sometime I see it with my own language, French, and with considerable mistakes, it can be annoying. I'd avise to contact someone who speaks that language a bit to crossverify google translate, that's much more fun for speakers
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Surprisingly enough, BBC Sherlock. The fic was on Wattpad and I haven't reposted it, it was a bit mid not going to lie.
20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?
Not very controversial take, my favourite fic I've ever written is Truth for the Daughter. I've written it in the kitchen, with my own step-dad checking up on me as I struggled with some scenes. It may be full of father-daughter angst but it was written with a lot of father-daughter love. It is dedicated to my step-dad, who passed away last year because of that, and so is Interlude: A son and his father , which I completed not long before his passing. These parental fics just hold a special place in my heart <3
Well this was nice!
To conclude, I'd like to tag : @dreamingamongthestars @yaqamole @claralarmclock @phe-oh-no and any other author mutual I might have forgotten!!
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have you seen mr. beast video about antarctica? if you have could you please write something about sapnap x reader having fun time in their tent or sum
I have :)
Also apologies I added George towards the end, and superrrr short
NSFW 18+ only - Minors/Ageless blogs DNI
Warnings: mostly clothed sex,
The camera crew and everyone had left the tent giving you and Sapnap minimal time for a quickie.
"I don't know Sap,"
He grasped at your hips. "It'll be super quick sugar promise,"
You gave an affirmative hum and allowed him to continue his work of minimally undressing you both.
"No thanks unlike you i can wait. I'm not risking my dick getting frozen off," George raised an eyebrow.
He slid in without any trouble, squeezing your hips at the warmth now wrapped around him. Quickly Sapnap helped you bounce in his lap, both of you so caught up in making it quick you failed to see the visitor within the tent.
"Couldn't wait another few days could you sap?" George stood blocking the entrance with his arms crossed.
His dark eyes trailed over his friend kneeling on the ground and you on his lap with a visible flush.
"Yeah? What of it? You wanna join?"
"Don't worry I can keep it warm Georgie," You opened your mouth. "Don't you want to have a little fun too?"
George stepped closer, eyeing Sapnap. This Texan seemed to have no issue with his best friend using your mouth to get his dick wet.
"Fine, but just so you stay quiet," George stopped in front of you, trembling slightly under your hands that gripped his thighs. "Don't want Karl and the rest of them to hear your cries," There was a smirk tugging at his lips, as if he was going to say something to piss off the man currently grinding up into you.
"Not that could Sapnap could make you scream anyway,"
You didn't have to see Sapnap to know there was a special glint in his eyes.
"Is that a challenge?' He asked the brunette in front of you. "I could have you both screaming for me within minutes,"
George looked down at him, pushing into your mouth.
"Prove it,"
#celestial:whispers#celestial:gnf#celestial:spnp#celestial:scribbles#georgenotfound x reader smut#georgenotfound smut#sapnap smut#sapnap x reader smut#mcyt x reader smut#mcyt smut#<main smut tags will be up for a short time then deleted
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Fanfiction Q&A
tagged by @thepagemistress , thank youuuuu! <3
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
a whopping 4 can you tell I don't write fics often!
though there actually used to be a few more short oneshots, but when I fell rather violently out of love with SPN, which they were for I just. couldn't stand to see them in there anymore (and I didn't like the writing itself anymore either) and I ended up deleting them... ^^"
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
41,198 (and the deleted fics would only have added around maybe 1000 words? 2k max but I don't even think they added up to that much)
3. What fandoms do you write for?
the only fics left are for DBH now, I have considered writing for Sandman, but tbh. there's sooooo many good writers in this fandom, anything I want to exist as fics is pretty much already there or in progress of being made and so I'm rather content to focus on art, slow at it though I may be :'D
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
er, well since there's only 4 of em:
1. no one can tell where your heart is (885, still in progress. and has been for a while I am so sorry)
2. lay bare the fire in me (328, .....the same as above. but I do have outlines for both fics, they WILL get finished dammit :'D)
3. and I don’t dance, but here I am (87, ...which is the sequel to 1 I couldn't wait to write even though the main fic isn't done yet xD)
4. freedom is a length of rope (34)
also yes, I am indeed very fond of the lower case titles
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I usually do or try to, even if it's just a short answer, because I love engaging with people over things that are important to me (and with comments I don't have to start the conversdation so to speak).
I do however have a few comments left in my inbox that I have not answered due to the crushing guilt of not having updated in so long.
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
freedom is a length of rope (technically also in progress to have a more hopeful ending added, but the longer it exists, the more I want to. keep the angsty ending it has. also guess where that title is from lmao)
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
and I don’t dance, but here I am though the in progress fics will likely end on the same level of everything is good and nothing hurts
8. Do you get hate on fics?
no, people have been very nice and also so infinitely patient with me! TAT
While not hostile, the weirdest I got was someone trying to convince me to let them sort of cowrite the fic with me? I respectfully declined because I did (I do TAT) have the general story outlined.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
...haven't yet, but the two fics in progres will have it. We'll find out h kind then I suppose.
No sure I'd ever be confident enough for pwp.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I have not and don't know if I would? If I did I'd probably only very loosely do it, because I am not confident I could do each included world/fandom justice. That's easier with art for me than writing.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not to my knowledge, but with barely any existing and only half of em finished I would be surprised :'D
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I.. don't think so.
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
no, and tbh I'd probably be very intimidated to try.
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
....ohhhhh noooooo, I hate picking favorites :'D
but I think one that's been with me since forEVER is Ace Attorney's Wrightworth (or NaruMitsu as I got to know it hehe).
In newer terms I think Dreamling will stick with me too.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
freedom is a length of rope like I said, the more I think about "fixing" what happened in chapter 1 in an additional chapter, the more I find myself leanign towards "no. this works better as an angsty oneshot"
maybe one day.
16. What are your writing strengths?
hmmm, not sure I write enough to really find em. minimalism? Shorter stories in a more minimal style I'd say.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
hilariously, I think that's also minimalism. because writing longer overarcing storylines when this is your go to becomes difficult.
Or maybe that's just "long interesting storylines that aren't super predictable or cliché"
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic.
well, I am German, so if the opportunity presented itself for a character where it works I could.
as far as writing in general in English goes. idk, I spent a lot of my time conversing and writing in English even outside the internet, and it's hard for me to judge how well lI'm doing in terms of er. written eloquence? I try my best and that's all I can do really.
For languages I don't know, I'd probably try to find someone who knows them or make really sure I've got it correct, I don't trust google translate enough :'D
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Supernatural
unless we count the NaruMitsu proposal RP I wrote with a friend in ICQ, but that was never published outside that chatroom xD
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
no one can tell where your heart is
as far behind as I am with updating it and as much as I feel like I bit off a bit more than I should've with it, it's my baby ;w;
Offering this up for anyone who feels so inclined to answer and tagging @wizardofgoodfortune , @wordsinhaled and @academicblorbo but no pressure! <3
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Author Question Tag Game Thing
Thank you so much for tagging me @thatmexisaurusrex!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
18
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
582,835
3. What fandoms do you write for?
MCU, mostly SamBucky.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Pet Names
The Promise of Cheesecake and a Decent Wine
You Probably Think This Poem Is About You (And That's Because It Is)
Dear Sam
There Was More Than One Bed (But Who's Counting?)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do my best to respond to every comment. Usually, if I don't, it's because I didn't see it and it's been long enough that I feel awkward replying so much later lol. But I appreciate every comment I get.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I don't actually write sad or angsty endings, really. I guess the closest would probably be Bucky Barnes Hates Christmas because that whole fic is just full of bittersweet holiday feels, and even though the ending is happy, the tone of it is still kind of bittersweet?
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Like I said, almost all my endings are happy, but I'd probably go with The Promise of Cheesecake and a Decent Wine for this answer. Just because they went through so much angst to get there, like so much angst.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I have gotten hate on a couple fics, but I just delete and ignore it.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yes, I write smut when I feel like the fic calls for it or is made better by having it. I don't really know how I'd describe it? Emotional. Very emotional.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
I don't write crossovers these days, but way back in middle school when I was writing on fanfiction . net under a different username, my first-ever fic was a crossover. It was a self-insert into two of my favorite book series, and I don't remember much from it other than that it was objectively cringe, but eh. I was in middle school and just starting to try writing for the first time, so what do you expect?
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I'm aware of.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope, or if they have, no one ever told me about it.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Nope! I would be curious to try though. Usually writing for me is such a solitary process, it would be cool to see how trying to write with someone else worked.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
SamBucky, though I definitely have a soft spot for the rareships I write for as well.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I literally have a folder titled "Ideas I probably won't write" which is where my fics go to die when I know I won't write them. I would love to write a couple of the Steve/Thor ideas I have in there, or the Cap Quartet Polycule one, but I just struggle so hard to write Steve Rogers in an engaging way. I don't know what it is about him, but we apparently don't jive when I try to make him a main character.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue usually comes easily to me.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Setting. Description. Smut scenes. I could go on, but I'm going to stop there lol.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I've done it before, and it went okay. I actually ended up having people tell me they felt more included because I'd used their language. That said, it's not something I do often, and I am usually at the mercy of whatever translator app I'm using, but I try to make that clear in the author's notes and use short phrases/single words instead of full sentences.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Maximum Ride and *mumbles unintelligibly* - that crossover fic from middle school.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
I love all of my fics for different reasons, and I don't know that I could say I have a favorite, but the one I reread the most often is probably Cinnamon-Brown Sugar Coffee Creamer. It's shorter, it's cozy, and in all of Sam's partners in that fic just love(d) him so so much. It's very sweet imo.
No pressure, tagging: literally anyone who wants to do this. If you looked at this and thought it sounded fun, please do the thing!
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Get to know your mun!
Name — Star
Pronouns — She/Her { Or They/Them
Preferred comms — Discord
Experience in RP — Since 2011 if not sooner. Memory is pretty shoddy but I realize I come from Gaia online days and rping on MMO's like Wonderland Online, Trickster Online, and Mabinogi wildly enough. I just remember DeviantArt because it's what stuck with me the most.
Best experiences — Hrm .. I guess meeting the group of friends I've had for quite some time now? We've had our ups and downs but the small handful of us have stuck together and I'm grateful for that.
Pet peeves/dealbreakers — Nagging for replies { rps or oocly }, using me for smut and ships { more specifically smut bc I struggle SUPER hard to write it }, asking for things only to ignore or delete them when sent repeatedly { like a LOT }, there's probably others but those are my main three that I get annoyed about easiest.
Muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ) — Fluff and Angst, technically all but smut require interaction to have already taken place and there's a built interaction.
Plot or memes — Either or, though plotting helps me figure out where an interaction can grow or how a relationship can go.
Long or short replies — I don't mind either as long as you give me something to work with. I've seen people give me paragraphs with absolutely nothing to work with and I've had to either approach the person or end up dropping the thread.
Best time to write — Morning or Night { As long as I'm not spending time w/ friends }, I use my mid-day to take time to myself and do other things that I want to do.
Tagged — Stole from @divinityunleashed
Tagging — Feel free to snag it
#★ ► ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛᴀʀꜱ ꜱᴘᴇᴀᴋ. ◄ ⌠ Out Of Character ⌡#★ ► ꜰʟʏ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴀᴍᴏɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛᴀʀꜱ ◄ ⌠ Dash Games ⌡#i had filled this out over on my other blog but i figured i'd redo it over here
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Reconnect: The Summary (12.5k)
A compilation of all parts & drabbles until now.
Tags/Warnings: Exes 2 Lovers, One night stand, Dad!Jungkook, parenting because yes that's a warning, baby Nari and yes I won't change the name, angst, emotional Rollercoaster, smut
[[ Note that this story has been originally posted on my shorts-Blog, but cannot be retrieved by searching anymore due to tumblr freezing the account for reasons I don't know. It's the main reason I'm posting the summary; to save it from being deleted. ]]
“With all respect, but do you think he even remembers the night at all?” You scoff as Sarah, your best friend tells you about Jungkook being back in Seoul from his world tour. “I highly doubt I’ve been the only one he’s ever had a fling with.” You say as you make sure your toddler is still holding your hand as she looks around.
“Come on.” She argues. “Even if he didn’t, no one can deny how much she looks like him. One look and he’d at least suspect it.” She chuckles, as she watches the small girl walk a bit closer to you as a big dog walks past.
“Sure sure.” You say, not really paying much attention anymore as you hardly doubt you’ll ever run into the idol ever again. But you’re not bitter- he’s unknowingly gifted you the most precious thing in the entire world after all. And while Sarah walks off to work, you continue your stroll, walking through a park when someone calls out.
“Hey-wait!” His voice rings out, and you can practically feel your heart dropping ten feet downstairs. “Here, you dropped this-” he starts, but stops with wide eyes when you and your little girl both turn around to face him. He holds out a small ladybug plush, a little charm you had used to have on your Keychain- but nari loved playing around with it so much that she keeps it as a toy nowadays, the fabric all worn down. “I…” he starts. “Uhm, y/n.?” He asks, and pulls his black facemask down a little, all to your own demise.
Its actually him. And even worse- Sarah was right.
“Oh uh.. hey.” You stammer, before you remember your daughter. “Ah uhm, what do we say?” You ask her, as she turns towards Jungkook, who squats down now to be more on her level as she shyly takes the small toy from him.
“Thank you.” She mumbles, and Jungkook feels like fainting.
Because he knows those eyes. He knows that shy demeanor. He knows that pout, that dark hair.
Because he sees it constantly whenever he looks in the mirror.
“I-” he starts, but you sigh, cutting him off.
“I can sign an NDA if you want, just send me the papers.” You say as you pick her up, his eyes never leaving her as he furrows his brows. “I mean, you probably came to the right conclusion by now. She’s yours.” You say, blood still running fast, as you notice him opening his mouth. “I dont need money or anything else either. I’m fine raising-”
“Can you let me talk for a second?” He says slightly irritated, before he calms himself. “I.. its not what I- okay hold on."He starts, pulling out his phone as he types a bit, before he puts it away. ” I think we need to talk. Properly. “ He tells you.
"My number is still the same.” You bitterly say, a dtale aftertaste in your mouth as you’re reminded of him ghosting you two years back.
“Y/n, I know what this looks like.” He says, as his gaze falls back to Nari, the little girl holding the small ladybug close as she watches the world around her. “And I want to explain it properly. You deserve that.” He says, as you seem still unsure. “Are you comfortable coming over to my apartment? I’ll send someone to pick you up.” He says, wary by now of people walking past.
“I.. sure. But I’ll have to bring her along.” You say and he’s a but too enthusiastic with his next words.
“Please!” He clears his throat, picking on his chin as he carefully chooses his next words. “I mean, its fine. I’d like that actually.” He says, as you nod.
“Okay.” You say.
Not knowing just what had started.
----
The next time you see him, he’s wearing a bright patterned shirt, and a simple jacket over it. Its weird to see him in your doorway, smiling a bit awkwardly as he greets you. You don’t want to be rude- no matter what happened between the two of you, he had every right to get to know his child, your mother had told you last night after you’d informed her about Jungkooks reappearance. He’s hesitant to walk in, before he takes his shoes off, the door now closed behind him as it to deny him any chance to escape now.
Its surprisingly clean he notices, before a cat walks closer to his form, sniffing his leg curiously. But as his hand dips down to pet it, it moves away like a snake, not trusting him enough to let him touch. He just holds his hand in front of it instead, letting it inspect his inked fingers, before your pet decides that he’s no threat- but touching is still off limits it seems, as even its tail swipes out of reach before he can touch it.
A bit like you, he thinks.
The apartment itself is small, but he’s probably just used to his own and the dorms and practice rooms. Still, you managed to make it look inviting, warm, like a home. There’s pictures on the walls here and there, no frames, just the photos stuck to them, and he notices pictures of your own family and you as a kid, as well as a photo of you holding your daughter- his daughter- in what he assumes is the hospital she was born in. You look exhausted, the strain clearly visible on your features, and he has a weird feeling in his stomach. It clenches and churns at the fact that he wasn’t there, that he couldn’t support you, that you had to do this all by yourself.
But you’re smiling in that picture, and that reassures him a little. Makes the guilt die down a bit, so it doesn’t swallow him whole.
When you walk back into the living area, your daughter is behind you, her big eyes focusing on Jungkook as she stops walking. “Just uhm.. she’s a bit shy with strangers, so she might not interact much with you.” You say, as if to justify her behavior. “People think she’s rude, but I promise she’s not. She’s just.. shy. Wary.” Just like you, he thinks in his mind, but he doesn’t say it out loud.
“Its fine. I understand this must be weird.” He says, throwing her a little smile, to which she hugs her stuffed bunny a little tighter- but at least she’s not completely against his presence.
“Nari, can you help me?” You ask, and Jungkook perks up at this. Nari is her name he realizes, and smiles a bit to himself. A good choice, he thinks, its an easy name she’ll easily lean- and that he’ll never forget from now on. It suits her, really, as he watches her walk towards you, before she puts her bunny on the kitchen counter, taking a cup and a small plate from your hands. She’s careful with it, eyes eager as she concentrates on not dropping anything while carrying it to the table.
“Can I help as well?” He asks, and you shake your head, instinctively. He accepts it, knows of your mild hostility towards him- after all, everything has happened quite suddenly, he’s intruding, maybe even too late to enter her life. But he wants to try anyways. You stop in your steps, as if you’ve heard his thoughts. “You can.. bring her bunny along. If you don’t mind.” You say, and he nods, smiling.
He’s handsome, you can’t deny that.
Its still awkward when he crouches down to give the little girl her toy back, but she accepts it with a muffled ‘thank you’ this time, before she hurriedly walks over to your side, sitting down at the table where her own cup with cooled down tea stands. Its not that hot anymore to burn her, but enough to warm up her little body as she starts taking a sip. Jungkook is mesmerized with the way she moves- considering her age. She’s very mature, although she does manage to spill a little- a little thing you don’t mind cleaning up with a motherly smile.
His heart aches at the sight. Not because he wants to be in your place instead, not because of jealousy. But because he fears he might be intruding, that he shouldn’t be here, present in this moment.
He feels like he’s too late.
---
You talk a bit, awkward smalltalk turning a bit less weird as he listens to you speaking of Nari’s talent in art. The little girl yawns after a few moments, watching him a bit like the cat close by, but decides he’s no threat as she lays her head down in your lap. Your hand instinctively reaches for her head, brushing her hair our ot her face as she closes her eyes, small body needing to recharge.
“What do you want.” You ask, or say, after Nari has finally fallen asleep for her nap. Jungkook is a bit taken aback by it, not only because of it being so sudden, but also so.. not hostile. Its not an angry comment, or a judgmental bark, its sadly nothing like that because jungkook could’ve worked with that.
But you sound scared. And ye doesn’t know how to deal with that.
“I can provide just fine for her.” You say. “I’m not saying this as a form of.. you know, spite or anything. But we’ve been doing fine without you.” You explain, as your hand continues to run over the top of her head in your lap. “I am not trying to make you feel bad, I understand that your job is your life. I’m aware of your dream, and I don’t want to kill that dream for you. You deserve to live it.” Hes unsure of what you’re trying to say, until your next words. “She’s happy with me.”
Its then that he takes a closer look at you.
“I’m not going to take her away y/n.” He says cautiously, as you swallow hard. You’re afraid, he notices, and its only now that he realizes how this all must’ve looked like. “I just..” he sighs. Maybe he really shouldn’t be here at all, he notices. He really shouldn’t intrude in a family dynamic already established. He doesn’t even know if you have a boyfriend, or something deeper than that. Maybe you’ve already found a perfect surrogate for him as a father figure for Nari, maybe he’s making everything so much more difficult for you just by being there like this. He stares at his cup for a moment, before he wipes a hand over his face. “Just.. let me see her every now and then, yeah?” He mumbles, and you look at him at that. “She doesn’t have to know who I am. Just, let me..” he breaks off at that, taking a deep breath as he gets up.
He can’t cry here, he has to get away.
“Thanks for uhm..” he starts, as he slips back into his shoes, the cat in the hallway watching him closely as he notices your form as well. He’s imagining you being less wary of him in that moment, hopes for it deeply, although he knows its no use. He’s about to open the door, when you speak.
“We’re putting up a pool on Friday.” You say, biting your lip a bit, as he turns around with glossy eyes. You hate the sight of it. “No one.. uhm, no one else is coming so.. if you want to visit, you can.” You say, and he stares for a moment.
“Y/n.” He starts, sighing. “I.. maybe I was too eager, I’m sorry. I didn’t take into account how this must look for you.” He says, slipping on his jacket again. “But I..” want to see you just as much as her, he thinks, but he’s not saying it out loud. He’s been greedy enough. “Want to help. Make it easier for you.” He explains.
“I know.” You say. “I’m sorry.” You say, as he shakes his head, stepping a bit closer to you before he remembers that he doesn’t know your boundaries. He doesn’t know you at all, and neither do you know him.
“Lets start over.” He says suddenly and you look at him, before he smiles encouragingly. “It may be.. a weird time to, but..” he still doesn’t know if this is too much. You’re thinking he notes, before you take a deep breath.
“Okay.” You say. “Lets start over.”
And his smile is as bright as the glowing sunset that day, a sight you both watch from different places. Its the same thing you see, the same sun you watch, just the spot you sit is different.
Jungkook hopes that one day you’ll watch it together.
---
When he arrives, it’s with a small bag. He’s a bit more comfortable around you now, and he’s noticed instantly how less on edge you seem as well. Nari is walking around in a summery swimsuit, hair tied in to pigtails as she still clutches the same bunny as last time to her chest. This time when he smiles at her, something remarkable happens. It’s quiet, but its a small ‘hello’ from her, before she hurries to run off in shyness, something that leaves him with wide eyes and a smile.
“She’s scared of water.” You say, as he walks into the room now with his shoes off. “I dont know why, she just is. Do you want something to drink?” You ask, to which he nods with a thanks. He walks into the living area where you’ve opened the balcony door, right where the small pool stands. Nari is looking at it a bit wary, glancing over the edge of it every now and then. He decides to sit down on the couch a little, waiting.
“You’re scared of water?” He asks, testing, to see how she’d react. To his surprise, she turns around, nodding, before she lifts her tiny hand up to pick on her jawline.
Just like he does.
Its another subtle reminder who she actually is, and it stings in his heart that she’s got the same habits, a little bit of him here and there without even knowing it. “Why is that?” He asks, trying to swallow down his feelings for the moment. The little girl only stares at the water, before she walks back into the room. The cat laying down is her target as she sits close to it, gently petting its belly as it just continues sleeping, visibly used to it.
“Thats nugget.” You say. “She usually even carries him around, though he doesn’t mind. I think it spooked her though when he fell into the bathtub once and panicked. Maybe that’s why she’s now scared of it too.” You chuckle, sitting down on the couch next to Jungkook. Hes hyperaware of you being this close-unsure how to act as if to not scare you off. “Sorry I didn’t respond last time by the way.” You mumble, as he takes a sip of his water.
“No problem.” He responds. “So uh..” he starts, now noticing that you’re both kind of starting from the very wrong end of it all. He wants to get to know you, while you both already made a child together- it makes him chuckle a little, before he gets himself together. “How’s work?” He asks, and you sigh.
“Pays the bills.” You start. “I’m working from home, which makes it a bit easier with her. I wanna cherish the time she’s so small, you know?” You say, watching her run her tiny fingers over the ears of the cat who simply purrs. “Until I have to send her off into the world, so to say.” You say, and he nods.
“I understand.” He says, although he may not. He’s new to all of this, and doesn’t know if that makes his bond to his child less strong. Maybe he won’t ever understand. Nari stares at the pool again, and you see it as well.
“Do you wanna get in?” You ask, and Nari shakes her head in instinct. Just like you did, ne notices. “I can’t get in with her to make her feel better.” You say, and jungkook looks at you in question. “Uhm.. medical reasons. I get pain medication injected, had it this morning, so I can’t take the bandaid off yet.” You say as Jungkooks gaze turns a bit more serious. He doesn’t push it, but makes a mental note to ask you about it in the future.
“I probably won’t be of much help, but I could try?” He asks, and you nod after a moment of thought. He gets up at that, walking with you towards the pool as he pulls his shirt over his head, placing it on a chair close by. You take the chance of him being busy getting out of his sweatpants, swim shorts underneath, to admire his body art. When you’d had your night together, he didn’t have any ink underneath his skin at all- now his arm was entirely covered, shoulder too. You avert your gaze after a moment, but chuckle as you notice Nari staring with wide eyes. She’s practically hypnotized by them as she keeps her distance. But Jungkook notices as he steps inside the tiny pool.
“Look.” You tell Nari as you lead her closer. “Jungkook isnt hurt. Its not bad.” You say. She seems a bit more interested now, peeking over the edge of the pool before she dips a hand in.
“Do you wanna come in?” Jungkook asks, and is prepared for her shaking her head. But to his surprise, she holds up her hands, expectedly so, and he checks in with you as you nod. Its endearing to see him so careful, gently placing his hands underneath her arms to slowly place her inside the pool. She’s frozen at first, unsure what to do- but then she notices his Tattoos. In the spur of the moment, she walks forwards to his sitting form, hands on his skin as she inspects the ink underneath.
Jungkook is mesmerized by her being so close and personal, and you sneak a small shot with your phone, making sure to send it to him as soon as he leaves.
As soon as he receives it, its set as his new wallpaper on his home screen.
---
The company doesn’t like the news at all.
The fact that he had a one night stand wasn’t too bad, they could work with that. But a child made things more complicated than ever. He sat in the meeting room with a grim face, several high ranking people discussing things, the band present as well. “Shell need to sign an NDA for sure. We don’t want a scandal, and this could ruin everything.”
Jungkook wants to scoff, but he holds himself back, as Bang starts to talk, having stayed quiet for the majority of the discussion for now. “I think that’s a rational thing to do, but we shouldn’t judge her purely based on past experiences with others. She hasn’t come out and claimed anything until now, so I don’t think she has any intention to.” He says, looking at Jungkook. “I’m upset at you, don’t get me wrong.” He scolds, but his face shows no spite. “But I can understand that you want to be present in her life.” He says, as someone next to him scoffs. “I can only hope you know what’s on the line. Be careful.” He advises, as he and the other managers leave the room.
“To be honest, I didn’t see that coming.” Namjoon states, as he finally seems to be able to breathe. “What the hell were you thinking Jungkook?” He says, upset. “You can’t just go and knock up some random-”
“She’s not someone random Hyung, I’d be careful with your choice of words.” He says, making the rest of the band perk up at the very serious tone of the youngest. Hes typically pretty down low, especially with the leader, which makes it the more surprising.
“We’re not saying that Jungkookie, but still, be careful.” Jimin states. “You’re putting us all at risk-”
“Dont you think I know that?” He says, sighing. “I’m putting her and my kid on the line as well, don’t think I’m not aware of that.” He grits out, before he gets up.
“Jungkook-” Taehyung starts, holding the sleeve of the youngest. “We’re supporting you. Please keep that in mind.” He says, and Jungkook knows that even if Taehyhung only speaks for himself, that’s enough. He can see that his bandmate is sincere with it, and that’s fine by him.
So he only nods, before he walks out the room, texting you about what had happened.
He smiles to himself as he locks his phone, his next destination clear as day. There’s no way now that he’s going to just let you slip through his fingers like that. Not with the information he now knows. He’s aware he’s starting from the wrong end- but nothing in his life has ever been normal after all. And no matter how he may look at it, even without Nari in the picture he’d know exactly what he wants.
You.
---
You hiss yet again as you try and bend down, the bags suddenly miles away even though they’re just sitting on the ground next to your feet. But its not happening- your entire shoulder hurts too much.
There’s no one you can call, and asking a stranger for help is out of question. But you’re reminded of one particular person who may be able to help as your phone almost slips out of your pocket. Hesitantly, you check the time three times, before you sit down at the side. It doesn’t even ring twice before Jungkook answers.
“Y/n?” He asks, out of breath. He must’ve been working out you think- but your mind also goes to the worry of yours that you might have been intruding something entirely else.
“Is it a bad time?” You ask because of that, unsure. “Its not that urgent,” it is urgent, you think, but you can’t let him know that. Still, he manages to see through your facade it seems.
“I was just working out. Whats up?” He asks, and you involuntarily let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Did you think I was doing something else?” He asks, and there’s a small hint of disappointment in his voice you can’t quite guess the reason for.
“It.. uhm.. doesnt concern me.” You say, cutting him off as he starts to say your name. “Listen, can you uhm.. help me out? I think I pulled something while trying to carry groceries home.” Yiu ask, and he answers.
“Yeah sure. Where are you?” He asks, opening a door into a room that has a bit more echo- his bathroom, you assume. “I’ll shower real quick.” He tells you.
“Ah don’t rush. I’ll send you the adress okay? Sorry again for bothering-” you start, but this time the way he says your name doesn’t let you talk back.
“You’re never a bother.” He tells you. “I’ll meet you there.”
And he stays true to his word. Dressed in all black, a cap pulled deep down paired with a facemask in an equally dark color, he’s hard to recognize, if even impossible. “Sorry, did you wait long?” He asks, and you shake your head, reaching for one of the bags. “No no, let me. Just walk to the car yeah?” He says, and you nod, in too much discomfort to argue with him. He notices this as he puts the bags into his car’s trunk, getting into the driver’s seat. “Are you okay? Should I drive you to a doctor?” He asks, as he notices your obvious pain.
“No, Nari is alone at home.” You say, as Jungkook nods.
“I’m worried about you though.” He says, as he starts driving.
“I can totally take care of her-” you start, but he clicks his tongue.
“No, I meant I’m worried about you.” He says. “I know it looks like I’m only interested in her but-” I’m also interested in you he wants to say, but it doesn’t come out. He doesn’t want to push you into any direction. “You’re just as important.” He says instead.
“I’ll go see a doctor if it doesn’t get better tomorrow, fair?” You say, and he nods with a slight smile.
“Deal.” He says. “I’ll be coming over late evening if that’s okay with you then.” He tells you as he parks in front of your apartment. “I’ll have to pick up some clothes but I’ll be right back.”
“What.?” You start, as he undoes his seat belt, boyish grin on his face.
“What do you mean, ‘what’? I have the weekend off, so I’ll be helping you."He says. "I mean, if that’s okay- if your boyfriend-”
“Jeon Jungkook I literally haven’t talked to a man since we slept with one another.” You groan out before you open the passenger side, stepping out. Jungkook doesn’t realize the weight of that sentence until a few seconds pass. You look at him, a shy gaze and slightly rosy cheeks and he wants to melt just like he did when he’d first met you years ago. “Its uhm.. its fine with me."you say.
And jungkook has to collect all his strength to not yell out loud how happy he is about that. He reaches for the bags, swiping his foot underneath the car for the sensor to close the trunk for him, as he spots something inside one bag. "Banana milk?” He asks, as you press a button in the elevator you both now stand in.
“Its weird isn’t it?” You say, and Jungkook feels his skin tinge at the close proximity of your body next to his. “How much she’s like you.” You say.
“She has a lot from you too.” He argues, voice however soft and gentle, as you watch him in the blurry mirror of the steel elevator door. “She’s observant. Sensitive to her surroundings. Gentle in what she does and how she acts. Polite.” He says, and you clench your jaw. Was that how he thought of you? “Y/n..” he starts, as you look at his face this time, his gaze holding something you can only describe as absolutely dangerous.
Because he looks at you like he’s in love.
---
Jungkook plays with Nari without ever growing tired. It’s safe to say that she grows comfortable with him, eagerly drawing with him on a large piece of paper on the floor, as you walk into the room. You smile, catching his own as he looks at you. Its that look again, that dangerous look of affection, and you avert your gaze to look at your daughter instead. “Nari.” You say, as she yawns and looks at you. “I think its time for bed, no?” You ask her, as she nods hesitantly. She reaches her arms out for you as usual, and you look a bit hesitant- something Jungkook picks up on. A questioning gaze, as if to ask for permission is sent your way- and you nod.
“Come on angel, let’s get you to bed.” He says, gentle as he picks the little girl up, giggling as she holds onto Jungkooks neck, before she lays her head against his shoulder. He feels oddly domestic like this, calm, as if he’d done this a thousand times already. He follows you into her bedroom, a small but nicely decorated room. Setting her down into the bed, she instantly crawls underneath the covers, since she already had gotten ready for bed prior.
“Alright. Goodnight baby, sleep tight.” You say kissing the top of her head as she nods, suddenly looking at Jungkook expectingly. He only waves a little, as she pouts.
But he’s worried he’s overstepping boundaries, so he only runs his hand over her head before he walks out the room, right after you.
The door is closed, and you sigh as you sit down on the couch. Jungkook follows, now highly aware of the both of you now being alone. He sits down next to you, searching for your gaze as you finally look at him. “I never intended to just.. leave you like that.” He starts, and you shrug.
“Its none of my concern what you do in your free time.” You state, instinctively sitting closer to the edge- a bit more distance now between you two.
“You were the only one."He states, as your eyes widen a little. Only now do you meet his eyes, and they’re nothing but serious, honest. "I.. you were the first. And only.” He states. “I wanted to.. reach out to you, but I lost your number, you remember? The small receipt from that takeout place we ordered food from..” he chuckles, and you smile as you remember it. “I.. felt awful after I lost it. There was no way to contact you, but I tried for a long time.” He explains, running a hand through his hair. “But then it.. felt weird. The more time passed, the more it felt weird, you know? Like apologizing for something that happened years ago.” He says.
You nod, understanding.
“I’m not saying this to lure you in, I hope you know that.” He says, hand shyly reaching out for the very tip of your knee- his finger placing itself onto it. “I’m not just.. after Nari. I missed you too.” He says.
“Jungkook..” you start. “I’m sorry.. I just-” you start, and he smiles, although a bit deflated.
“I get it.” He says. “I.. can I ask you something?"He questions.
You nod.
"I.. want to gain your trust.” He starts. “I know we’re basically starting at the completely opposite end of stuff but.. I want to get to know you. I want to earn your trust, and maybe more.” He states, turning fully towards you. “But I’ll respect if you don’t want to be anything more than what we are now.” He states.
Hes basically offering his heart.
And as you take a deep breath, your hand reaches for his, fingers shyly intertwining in a silent offer of your very own.
You just hope he doesn’t break it again.
---
He’s still asleep when you wake up.
He had pretty much demanded to take the couch instead of your bed- and you knew fighting with him would lead to nothing. So the least you could do, you think, is letting him sleep as long as he wants to. Nari is just as dead to the world, and you simply prepare some coffee for yourself.
While the water boils, jungkook shifts- blanket falling down to the floor with a thud as you notice. Its maybe motherly instinct, or something different, but you instinctively walk towards his sleeping form, picking up the blanket to properly place it over his body again. You make sure to tuck it properly, as he cracks an eye open, smiling sleepily. “What time is it?” He mumbles, and you smile.
“You can continue sleeping. Its early.” You say, and he nods, hand holding onto you wrist however, as he still keeps his gaze cpnnected to yours.
“Why are you up then?” He asks in a raspy voice, making your skin tingle a bit from the sound of it. You shrug, though you think you know what he’s really asking for.
“The couch is small.” You say, but Jungkook doesn’t take it as a decline to his silent question. Instead, he continues smiling.
“Big enough if you lean on me.” He tells you, and you’re unsure. The water boiler stops the heat with a click, as you’re torn between logic and desire. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to-” he starts, but you sigh, lifting the blanket you’ve previously draped over him.
“Scoot a bit.” You say, as you actually give in, laying down next to him on the couch- although you’re halfway laying ontop of him. “Am I too heavy? You can be honest.” You say, as he denies, arm around your shoulder as he enjoys the moment.
“You’re not.” He says. “Are you comfortable?” He asks, and you nod into his chest. “I’m glad.” He says, voice growing quiet as he lets himself fall back into sleep again. “I like this.” He mumbles drunk ok sleep, and after a moment, you nod. Its when his hand innocently wanders that he finds naked skin- noticing the fact that you’re only wearing a big shirt and some cotton shorts. He freezes in place for a moment as his fingers stay at the skin, waiting for you to call him off.
But you don’t.
He knows you’ll tell him if something makes you uncomfortable- it gives him a sense of security when his fingers move, hand now fully on your thigh, warm skin under his fingertips as he keeps it there for a moment.
“Did you ever think about it?” You ask, quietly, as if its something forbidden to say. You don’t even know why you’re asking it in the first place, but taking it back would make it even more awkward than it probably already was.
But to your surprise, Jungkook answers. “Of course.” He admits, eyes still closed as he moves his legs a bit around. “Did you?” He questions after a moment, waiting for your answer as he has to endure his memories forming in front of his closed eyes again. The way you laughed, the way you looked at him, the way you sounded and felt.
And when you nod, he’s suddenly hyperaware of your lack of distance. He swallow thickly, but he knows moving his legs now won’t hide anything. He wants to apologize, but he hopes deeply you just don’t notice.
He suddenly feels like a teenager again.
“Jungkook?” You ask, and he hums a reply. “Do you need a cold shower?” You ask with a hint of teasing in your tone, and he chuckles in embarrassment as he runs his hand over his face.
“No no, I’m sorry it’ll go away by itself.” He says with a chuckle, glad you don’t seem offended by it. “Lets just sleep.” He says, and you nod, simply closing your eyes.
And he’s glad he doesn’t have a wet dream after that incident.
---
“We do not hit Nari, that’s not nice!"you say seriously, as the little girl still sobs from the shock of your outburst. She had hit Jungkooks hand as he had tried to take her toy away since it was time to put them away and get ready for bed, and you had instantly seen it. "Hitting people hurts, do you want to hurt kookie?” You say, and she shakes her head eagerly, tears still rolling down her cheeks.
Jungkook watches from the sidelines, his heart aching at the way his daughter is crying. But he’s aware that this has to happen- that she has to know that this wasn’t appropriate behavior, even if it meant she’d have to get scolded. “So what do we do now?” You tell her, as she looks over, the finger in her mouth instantly leaving as she runs towards Jungkook on unsteady legs, instantly gripping onto his pants as she cries against his legs.
“I’m sorry!” She presses out, and Jungkook shares a look with you as you nod, giving him the okay. He’s not sure what to do, how to properly handle this without overstepping any boundaries- but he tries anyways. “I’m sorry-” she continues as he squats down, letting her wrap her arms around his middle instead as best as she can. Her head is resting against his shoulder, his hand on her back rubbing comfortingly to try and soothe her.
“Its okay.” He says, and you’re surprised at just how mature and gentle he sounds. “But your mom is right. Hitting isn’t okay, so never ever do that again okay?” He asks her, as she nods into his sweater, sniffling and still crying. He worries for a moment that she won’t calm down with him- but he can’t detach her from him, so he just goes to pick her tiny body up, bringing her into the bathroom. “Can I get her ready this time?” He asks quietly, as you nod.
“Sure. Just make sure to brush her teeth.” You say, as you run a hand over her head. “I’ll tell her goodnight as soon as you’re done.” You tell him, and he nods. Its weirdly domestic, the entire situation, it feels as if you’re letting him be a part of this whole dynamic now.
It feels like you’re letting him in.
---
“Hey.” Hoseok says, sitting down next to a sweating Jungkook, who locks his phone instantly, sipping on his water as he nods towards his bandmate. “So..” he starts, watching together with jungkook as the rest of the band either rests themselves or continues to practice. “How is everything?” He asks, and Jungkook knows instantly what he’s asking.
He can’t help but become wary. Protective even.
“Good.” He answers, not looking at Hoseok, as he sips another mouthful of water. “She’s signed the NDA.” He says, keeping it short as Hoseok sighs.
“Thats not what I asked Jungkook.” He said, before he runs a hand through his hair. “Jungkook.. JK..” he tries cheering the youngest up. “I know we seemed a bit harsh, but we’re all just.. it was a surprise, really.” He explains, and Jungkook chews on the inside of his cheek as he realizes that he’s right. “But we.. talked. And everyone agreed that its fompeltely understandable that you want to be a part in her life. I mean, you’re her dad.” He says, chuckling as he says it out loud. “How does her mother take it?” He questions, as Jungkook shrugs.
“I.. I’m trying to take it slow. We’re.. slowly loosing that distance nowadays. She even let me watch over Nari alone.” He says with a smile as he remembers that day. Hoseok grins, excited at the way the youngest’ face lights up as soon as he talks about her. “I kinda.. have that hope that we can somehow mend this together. Be a normal family and all that, you know?” He says, and Hoseok nods.
“Do you have pictures?” He asks, leaving Jungkook a way out of he didn’t want to share. But he unlocks his phone, his home screen still that picture of him and the little girl in the pool. He looks like a wet dog really, but its the grin on his and her face that makes the image so perfect. As he opens the gallery app, he taps on another picture of you and Nari together, a secret shot he’d taken when you’d helped her color in something in the book he’d bought her. “She looks like you.” Hoseok comments. “All round, like a circle.” He teases, as Jungkook just grins brightly.
“Show me too, Show me too!!” Jimin shouts as he realizes what’s happening, gaining everyone’s attention as Jungkooks ears turn red.
But he’s still proud while he finally shows his bandmates what he’s created with you.
---
Its weird to see him like this.
He’s sitting on the floor with your daughter, trying to figure out which piece of the puzzle goes where. Its not his usual behavior whenever he’s around his bandmates though- of course you’d occasionally seen some Run!BTS episodes here and there.
There was no way you’d escape him.
No, he’s way more oriented towards Nari, making sure that she gains all the praise and figures stuff out herself. You had thought for a long time that he may wouldn’t like being a father figure, after all, he’d always been the youngest of the group. And then again, he’d never met your little girl before anyways.
But he seemed to just.. perfectly fit into the role of a father right away.
Now that you know he’s not there to judge or take her away to life a better and easier life, you’re more at ease with him visiting and spending time. But you’re still on edge- because while he’d said that he really wants to get to know you too, you’re unsure if he really was being honest when he had said he would’ve wanted to even without your daughter in the picture. At the end of the day, your mother always told you,
‘Never mess with entertainers, they always leave.’
And you’re scared because of that. Because one day he’ll go on tour, or go to his military service, and he’ll be gone again. Even if he tells you now that he will stay, there just is no way. And you’re not sure if you can handle that. But then again, won’t it be better to at least have him at your side like this for now? After all, you’ve realized it long ago already.
No matter the outcome, you’ll have to raise her on your own.
---
You keep your head low, bowing constantly as an apology for the intrusion. But since you can’t work currently, you can’t properly take care of nari either until your medication kicks in. So Jungkook had asked and decided to bring you along for practice- something you only reluctantly agreed on.
Its unsurprisingly Taehyung who jumps up at the sight of the little girl holding onto his pantleg tightly since she can’t reach his hand comfortably. She hides for the first moment, until Jungkook picks her up, making her more brave in the closer proximity of him.
She may not know that he’s her father, but her inner soul is certainly aware of it.
“So pretty.” Jimin coos at her as she stays close against Jungkooks chest, smiling however when Taehyung makes silly faces.
When he puts her down to follow you sitting somewhere more secluded, he notices the looks of the older members. Namjoon doesn’t really let you out of his sight while other staff seems to start talking about the entire situation. Word travels easily in the company, and while the members didn’t say anything, one of the managers certainly did.
“Cut it.” Jungkook tells Namjoon weirdly defensive, and he apologizes as he finally breaks his gaze.
“Sorry.” He says. “I just.. it didn’t feel real until now.” He says, as they all get ready for practice. “She really looks like you. And her..” he says, as Jungkook corrects him by saying your name. “Yeah, I thought she’d be less.. on edge.”
“Well..” jungkook starts. “Everyines gossiping already, and you staring probably didn’t help either.” He says. “Sorry.. I just.. its unfair to her that everyone just assumes she’s a leech trying to use Nari for something.” He sighs, and Seokjin joins in, having listened.
“I can imagine.” He says. “I.. really hope it works out for you. I hope you know that.”
“We all do.” Namjoon comments.
The awkward tension is soon broken however, as Nari’s cheerful laughter fills the room, Taehyung playfully chasing the little girl.
---
They’re filming in finland this time.
Its the usual routine, nothing is out of place, and yet, there’s this looming feeling in Jungkook that he’s missing something. And technically he is- after all, its been weeks since he’d last seen you and Nari.
But there’s a surprise waiting for him.
Its after they’re done filming that Yoongi pushes a letter towards him, a small rectangular envelope that doesn’t tell much about what’s inside. He opens it with curious hands, finding a winter themed card inside.
But its the handwriting he instantly recognizes.
I hope you’re well.
Nari wanted to write something for you, but she can’t quite figure out how to do it, so I’m doing it for her instead. She misses you, pretty much demands for you to come back. I’m trying to tell her that you can’t-but there’s only so much I can do.
Don’t be so harsh on yourself though,
Its then that he has to stop, breaking into tears as he hides behind the card itself. Jimin is quick to jump up and over to console him, as are the other members. While some tease, Yoongi is quick to ca them off-deeming it unfair in a situation like that. It takes a moment until he can look and continue reading- tissue pressed against his lips.
Don’t be so harsh on yourself though, I know you’ve never meant for the situation we’re in now. She’ll understand, at least I hope. Its for the best that she only misses you as a person, and not as a father, as harsh as it sounds. I know you understand- and I’m grateful for it, really. I’m grateful for it all, even if I have trouble showing it. Because you gave me something so precious, I could never thank you enough for.
Jungkook, I miss you hope you stay safe on your travels. We’ll be waiting for you when you’re back home.
Love,
Nari & y/n
Hes proud as he looks at the scribbles he’s sure are supposed to be Nari’s name at the bottom- but he’s even more distraught at the pitiful attempt at you trying to erase the first sentence in mind. He hates it, hates that he can’t just tell you to let him in and let him love you like he knows he could because he’s aware that it’s way too much to ask. He’s gone all the time, he’s never home, the timing of it all had just been awful.
So he breaks down again, painfully so, as he cries it all out for the first time. He doesn’t see the concern in his bandmates eyes at the way he breaks, and it takes a long time for him to pull himself back together.
The small card later on safely tucked away in his bag.
---
“He’ll get over it.” The manager says, as Namjoon shakes his head, pushing his foot into the doorway to keep it from shutting. Bang PD inside it perks up at that, the behavior unknown to him.
“I don’t think you get it.” He says, meeting his superiors gazes. “We’re talking about his child. That’s not like his schoolboy-crush he had on IU when he was like, 15!” He says.
“Namjoon-” the man starts again, but he won’t have it.
“We have to do something! She’s clearly not after his fame, or money, or anything else! Otherwise she’d have had every chance to blow this all up already! How can you still be this dense about it?” He says, clearly distressed.
And its for good reason.
While jungkook continues working, practicing, and singing his lines, there’s no emotion to it anymore. He works like a robot, simply mirroring whats shown at dance practice, his singing sounding more generic than anything else. Its not like he’s a surely depressed or anything- he’s simply lost all his passion.
And its gonna be a simple question of time until fans start to notice his absence, since he refuses to do any Vlives, and only quietly sits in the back of the group’s.
He storms out the office, walking back into the practice room where jungkook lays on the floor. The rest of the guys are close to him, serious looks on their faces as they look at Namjoon. “What happened?” He asks.
“I don’t think he slept.” Jimin tells him. “And I also think he lied about eating. He just collapsed some minutes after you left.” He sighs out, looking at the youngest asleep on the floor. “This is really eating away at him isn’t it?"He mumbles, as Taehyung scoffs.
"Its his daughter. And he’s totally in love with y/n as well.” He says. “Thats basically taking two things away from him at once.”
Its then that Jungkook slowly wakes up, groaning as he sits up under the watchful and concerned gazes of his bandmates. “Did I pass out?” He asks, and they all nod. “Ah well.” He just mumbles, running a hand over his face.
The door to the practice room opens at that, Bang PD and two other heads of the company standing there.
Walking towards them with an idea in mind.
---
His birthday isn’t something super special anymore.
It was like that once, when he’d been a kid, or even a teenager- but nowadays, it’s short-lived, some cake and wishes before he has to catch the next plane or prepare for the next practice. Its weird really, because he knows Nari’s birthday is only a week later- today, to be exact, and he can’t be there.
Which is a running theme, he’d noticed.
Its torture really, but he’s slowly come to terms with it. There’s nothing he can do about it- and by now he’s sure the little girl won’t even remember him all that much. Maybe its better that way, he thinks, but he deep down wants to be selfish, greedy, wants her to remember him as more than just a friend of her mother.
Even after months and months, he’s still not over you.
And his bandmates know, even if he doesn’t outright say it. Its the little things really, from the wallpaper of his phone still being that picture of you and Nari, to the fact that he carries that little Christmas card around whenever they’re traveling. He has a small post it note in his wallet too- a typical toddler sketch of him, you, and Nari he keeps close. He likes to pretend a lot. It keeps him a little more sane.
But as he spots the weird grins on his brothers faces, he knows they’re up to something. He looks around, unsure, until his gaze meets-
Yours.
You’re squatting down behind Nari, who looks around in a confused manner. She spots him a little further away, and he’s prepared. He knows he looks different- he’s packing more muscle, and his hair is now longer and bleached as well. But then she wiggles out of your grasp, and you smile as the girl excitedly runs full force towards Jungkook.
He doesn’t know why, or how, and he doesn’t care either; he just meets her halfway, throwing her into the air playfully as he catches her giggling form, holding her close. “Your hair is long!"Nari observes, and Jungkook smiles, as he can’t help his grin and glistening eyes.
"Yours too!” He shoots back, as he observes the now definitely longer ponytail his daughter is sporting. A pink bunny catches his eye, and he surely recognizes it after inspecting it further. But before he can ask, the girl places her tiny hands around his ear, whispering as he eagerly listens. “Mommy told me a secret.” She says, and jungkook plays serious as he listens to her. She leans in again. “She said that you’re my dad!” She says, and jungkooks eyes widen.
His blood runs cold and he has to squat down, setting her onto her own two feet as you walk closer. Nari however doesn’t notice the way he pales, as she keeps going, this time not bothering to whisper. “She said that you loved mommy, before I was born. And because you loved each other I’m here!” She says, and Jungkook swears he can feel his heart stop.
Why would you tell her that?
But when he looks up to meet your eyes, they’re already sparkling with unshed tears, and he knows, without any words said, what you’re trying to say. He doesn’t know why yet, he doesn’t know how, but again, he doesn’t care as he picks his daughter up again, walking towards you, where you instantly wrap your arms around her-and him as well.
“Yeah-” he starts, chuckling in disbelief. “But mommy lied when she said I loved her.” He says, as you look at him with concern. But he’s still smiling, uncaring of his tears falling as he looks at you and Nari.
“Because I still do.”
---
Jungkook is quick to agree when you ask if you could spend the night at his apartment for the night. Nari is already in bed; his couch turned into a small and comfortable bed for the young girl as she sleeps tightly already, worn out by the excitement of the day. “I talked to Bang PD.” You say, after you both had sat down to have some time for yourselves. “He.. came to me and had an idea. The same that Namjoon had proposed to me when they’d visited me. And may I just-” you say, getting up for a second to push his chest a little. “How could you neglect yourself like that? Fainting? Not eating? Not sleeping?” You playfully scold- but he can feel that deep down you’re genuinely upset.
“Sorry” He mumbles. “But what was it?” He asks, curious to know as to what exactly made you change your mind.
“If you’re okay with it- me and Nari could move into this apartment. It’d make it easier for you to visit, less dangerous, and if something was to happen, there’s security here and all that..” you say, and he nods eagerly.
“Of course, no problem at all!” He says. “I’d be happy to have you both here.” He tells you, smiling genuinely. “But I.. have a question.” He says.
“If its about us..” you start, and he nods, swallowing thickly. “I.. jungkook, I hope you know I’m not giving any more chances after this-"you start, and he practically becomes restless at what you’re implying.
"Never, I only need one, I promise!” He says, body turned towards you as he rests a hand on your thigh. Its warm, it fills you up with memories and feelings you’ve tried to push away and bury six feet under. “I promise, this time I’ll get it right. It.. I know it won’t be easy and nowhere near a normal relationship but-” he says, and you smile.
For the first time, you smile, as your hand places itself over his, his own turning to intertwine your fingers. “Thats fine.” You say, and he swears he melts on the spot at the look of love you send his way, cheeks red as if you’re back in time. “I only need you.” You say, as he brings your interlocked hands towards his lips.
“You already have me.” He says, before pressing his lips against your fingers.
Giving a silent promise.
---
Its on a sunny weekend that he notices again.
Nari is occupied with the cat, carefully brushing his coat with a small brush, while Jungkook takes some plates away from you. “You never told me what’s wrong.” He asks. “This, I mean. I can see you’re in pain.” He asks you, as he motions towards your back.
“Its an old injury.” You say. “They.. said I’d need surgery to fix it, but I’ve never gotten around to do it. She can’t stay alone by herself for too long yet, so me going into hospital is out of the question.” You say. Jungkook however shakes his head.
“Go an schedule the surgery next time you’re at the doctors. I’ll take time off then if I can, if not, I’ll organize a nanny. You’re not on your own anymore."He tells you with a reassuring smile. "But just pain meds won’t fix this, it’ll just make you sick at some point.” He says. “And I’m worried about you.” He finishes, carefully holding your hand as you nod.
“Okay.” You agree, and he’s stunned for a second at how easy that was. But then again, a lot of things have changed nowadays.
And he can’t wait for all those changes to show.
---
He knows to expect food when he comes home, but what he doesn’t expect, is the entire scenery in front of him.
The pin pad on the door must’ve alerted the cat, since Nugget eagerly speedwalks towards him, tail high up as he meows loudly, informing the household that he’s home as the cat brushes past his legs, arching his back. “Hey” jungkook greets him, running a hand over his back before he shakes the stray hairs off, stepping inside after taking off his shoes.
The TV is running in the background, Nari in front of him while wearing a bathrobe, signaling that she’s already getting ready for bed. Surely enough, her favorite kids show is on, preparing her by showing a good night’s story, completely demanding her attention for the moment.
Then there’s you, a simple shirt and sweatpants combo and no socks, leaning over a pot as you stir.
Everything is just the way he’s dreamed it to be.
And for a second or two, he simply enjoys the sight of it all, before he makes his presence known, the little girl eagerly running towards him with still damp hair. “Mommy said you’ll dry my hair!” She excitedly exclaims, as you chuckle in the kitchen.
“I said you should ask him Nari, Appa could be tired.” You say, and the little girl pouts as he laughs. He nods however, getting the hairdryer from the bathroom before she sits on his lap, as he brushes and dries her hair. Its still a quick thing to do, but he already knows that one day she’ll have long enough hair for it to last longer. She yawns as she rubs her eyes, tiny body’s inner clock telling her to rest by now.
“Lets get you to bed, yeah?” He tells her, picking her up as he walks towards your form in the kitchen. You tell her goodnight while she’s still in his arms, a quick kiss to the top of her head, before he walks into her room, helping her change into her Pyjamas before she crawls underneath the covers. “Goodnight angel.” He tells her, as she smiles.
“Goodnight Appa.” She answers, and his heart swells at the sound of it. Its the first time she says it, she probably doesn’t even realize it, but he loves the sound of it already. When he walks back out, there’s already food on the table, as you sit across from the set spot, typing something on your phone. You put it away however as he sits down.
“How was your day?” You ask, and he smiles, shaking his head.
“Way better now that I’m home.” He says. “Seriously.. thank you.” He tells you, before he starts to eat. You watch him for a moment before you start talking about your own day, while he eagerly listens to what has happened to you during the time he had been out.
He could really get used to this.
---
“Hyung, give me a bite.” Jungkook asks, as Jin holds out his hands.
“Do something cute then.” He demands, while you’re trying hard not to laugh with the rest of the members while eating. Jungkook groans in annoyance.
“Hyung, I literally have a kid!” He argues, as Jin playfully explodes in his typical fashion.
“And since when does that mean I suddenly can’t treat you as the youngest anymore?” He says, voice raising a pitch higher. “Did you age or travel back in time now so you’re older than me?I don’t think so, I raised you for years so be thankful now or I’m not giving you anything you ungrateful brat!” He scolds, as everyone bursts out into laughter.
Nari is a bit confused, so you put a hand on her head. “Uncle Jin is only teasing your dad.” You say, as Jin sends a wink her way, making her instantly shy away.
“Yah don’t make my daughter uncomfortable with your worldwide handsome bull-” he starts, practically feeling your glare at the side of his skill like the red dot of a sniper attack, correcting himself in time. “-stuff!” He finishes, making everyone laugh again.
“I’m charming everyone and you will live with this, now do something cute or no food for you!"He barks, making Nari giggle a bit when Jungkook actually follows the order this time.
Jungkooks ears are red, as he pouts and mumbles to himself.
"At least I made my daughter laugh.”
---
He’s quick to bring her out of the mall as she keeps on getting close to a tantrum. Its something he can’t have, its as dangerous as ever already that he’s gone out with you for grocery shopping at all. Back at the car, he sits his daughter into her seat without buckling her up, leaving the door open as he squats next to it, looking at her. “Do you know why we’re here?” He asks calmly, as Nari continues to cry for a bit. “I got time. I can wait.” He says, looking around for a while, until she grows quiet. “Done?” He asks, and she nods as he looks at her, pulling his facemask down to help her read his face better, his bucket hat enough to cover him for now, he thinks.
“We can’t always have everything we want Nari.” He says, as she listens. “Your mom told you that you can have one thing and one thing only. And what do we do when mom says something?” He asks, as Nari sniffles. “We listen, don’t we?” He asks again, the little girl nodding after a moment. “Thats right. Cause when you don’t listen, it makes mommy and me upset alright? And we don’t like seeing you cry over something like that. Its okay to cry if you get hurt, if you feel sad, even if you’re angry. But its not okay to cry just because you can’t have something.” He explains, as his daughter nods again.
When he deems her calm enough, he helps her out the car again, still squatting down as he makes sure her dress isn’t wrinkled, as he holds her tiny hands. “Come on now, you’re a big girl right? Wipe those tears, let’s go back to mommy."He says, watching with a smile as she makes sure she wipes her face. He helps her a little, before he stands up, pulling his facemask back up before locking the car again, the small girl walking next to him as she’s all calm again.
What he doesn’t see however, is the other girl close by behind a car, already tapping away on her phone as she uploads a video.
---
You instantly let him inside after he’s home.
He’d just recorded a video message- an apology and explanation in one, to clear up the mess that had stirred up. Fans are all over the place, divided into groups that fight like its war. There’s people who feel betrayed, people who are upset, people who are angry, and people who understand and cheer for him.
After the video had been uploaded, paparazzi had swarmed the company building- angry fans right behind, demanding for jungkook to either break up, say that its all a lie, or even leave the group. He’d been unprepared for it, and the company had gone out its way to ensure his, the band’s, yours, and Naris safety through it all.
Its still weird though.
“I’m leaving the group.” He says, as he sits on the couch, light grey sweater soft underneath your hand as you run it over his back. You try and argue, but he won’t let you. “No, listen. Not.. right away. But if things really go south, I’ll quit. We’ll move to another country, I don’t care, as long as you’re safe. I’m..” he starts, putting his head into his hands. “This is my fault. I’ve pulled you into this-”
“I think it takes two to tango Jungkook.” You say. “They.. would’ve found out eventually. Its just the way that they found out that makes it so chaotic.” You try and reason, and he nods after a while.
He gets up as he gets a call later on, Nari curiously peeking out from her room as Jungkook walks past. He doesnt notice this as he’s walking back into the living room. “Guess I’m gonna be home for a while.” He says, as he brushes some hair out of his face. You look at him in question, as he shrugs. “Company called and told me I’ll be excluded from schedule and broadcast until this whole story is under control again.” He says.
Nugget wakes up slowly, walking closer as he brushes past Jungkooks legs, purring. You can see Jungkook worry as he pets the cat, and you know why. Fans can be.. quite expressive, and he already saw several very threatening tweets- not only aimed at you or him, but at the fans themselves. And he’s a sensitive guy- you know if anything was to happen, he would blame himself for it.
So you do the only thing you can think of.
You lean in closer, holding him close as he falls into your arms, closing his eyes as he lets himself be held for a moment. You’re pressing a kiss to his head, and he feels a bit better. “You’re not alone in this, okay?” You say. “No one hates you for it. Emotions are just all over the place.” You try and reason, and he just nods. You know that right now, all you can do is wait.
And its Nari who makes him smile again, as she wordlessly climbs onto the couch, spreading her bunny plushy’s arms out before she lays it on his chest, as if to make it hug him. He can’t help but pull her close, simply letting himself exist for a moment in the arms of his family.
Realizing he really isn’t alone, at least.
---
For his own safety, and also mental health, the company had given Jungkook the okay to spend his time off work somewhere entirely else.
He’d always wanted to go to a country far away- and with Nari loving snow, he’d decided together with you that the more rural side of New Zealand would be perfect to spend his hiatus. While the company made sure the place you all stayed at was safe enough to keep info about his whereabouts to themselves, you all try and settle in.
But for him, its easy to free his mind from the troubles he’s facing, as soon as he sees Naris big eyes fascinated with the scenery. “Jungkook?” You ask, making him turn around as you give something to him. “Can you dress her? I can’t find her mittens..” you say, before going back to search for them. He watches you for a moment, before he calls his daughter over.
He has a bit of trouble at first, too careful as he’s still scared of hurting the little kid, as you help him. “She’s not made of porcelain-.” You say, swallowing the last word you almost tried to say. He has a hunch of what it could’ve been, and looks at you for a second, before he turns to Nari again.
Small steps, he guesses.
As soon as the little girl is dressed, she’s eager to go out, and you follow her along the way, as she plays around. Jungkook chases her, making sure to not run too fast to give her a chance of escape.
Its an eventful day, and its the sole reason she’s practically dead to the world as she’s asleep in her little room now.
You're sitting on the couch, warming up again as Jungkook sits down next to you. Hes grown more and more physical with you these days, eagerly accepting any form of skinship you give, and actively trying to be as close to you as he can. Just like now; as he leans his body against yours, hand reaching to hold yours having become a habit of his.
You’re holding it actively this time too however, your own fingers tracing the tattoo on the side of his hand. He watches as you do this. “Things have changed, haven’t they?” He asks, and you shrug. “I’m still sorry-” he starts, but stops when he feels you press a kiss to the top of his head.
“Dont think about it for now, Jungkook.” He’s aware of the way you say his name- softer, more gentle, more.. intimately. Its like you want to say something else, but you’re holding yourself back from it. He doesnt know why, but he hopes you’ll let go of those things soon.
He stretches for a moment, before he looks at you, one hand over the back of the couch as the other softly touches your cheek. Its quiet, but not uncomfortably so. He doesnt say anything, doesnt have to, as he leans in to press a kiss to your lips. Its slow at first, almost shy, before he notices your hand suddenly moving to place itself on the back of his neck, a silent way of telling him its okay.
You both move a little, your form now underneath his as he looks down at you. “Nari’s asleep.” He says, hand running over your side, down your thigh, until it holds your leg at the back of your knee, angling it up a little.
“She is.” You agree, playing with the ends of his hair as he smiles. You’re comfortable, he can see that in the slight smile you hold as well, as you look at him.
“Out like a light.” He says, pecking your lips with a whispering voice, as you nod. He’s testing the waters, hand wandering closer and closer to your chest, trying to see if you’re against it- but you’re not, and he’s happy about it as he continues his advances. “Do you remember?” He asks, and you nod again. “I can’t believe how I’ve rushed back then.” He mumbles, helping you out of your shirt before he looses his own.
“You were younger back then.” You try to reason, giggling as he gets stuck with his arm in his shirt, making him laugh as well before he untangles himself. He nods, but he doesn’t let that justify the way he acted back then.
“Old enough.” He says. “But I won’t make that mistake twice.” He says, placing kisses on your collarbone as his hand slips underneath your bra. “This time I’ll take my time."He hums against your skin, your back lifting a little to help him undo your bra. "I’ll cherish you.” He continues, hips moving a bit into yiu as you sigh, slowly but surely getting riled up. “Worship you.”
“I’m hardly one to worship.” You chuckle, as he grins against your skin, hand on your hip as he pushes down your leggings, panties along with it.
“Oh but you are baby.” He mumbles, letting the pet name slip through his lips. “You’re everything to me."He tells you, as his inked hand places itself onto your center, fingers easily slipping between your folds. "You’re the mother of my child.” he says. “My first love.” He continues as you sigh in bliss. “My only..”
“Jungkook..” you say, and he stops, looking at you with that gaze again. It’s full of emotions, all one’s of love, and you smile as you decide its now or never. “I dont wanna.. I don’t want you to get the wrong impression of me or think that it was just a heat of the moment kind of thing-” you ramble as he chuckles.
“Hey, its fine-” he starts, as you say it out loud.
“I love you.”
He’s still for a moment, eyes wide open as he realizes, processes what you’d just said. This was the moment he’d hoped he’d get one day, words he’d wished you’d tell him in the future. And he knows you mean them- if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have been so eager to make sure he knows you don’t just say them as an expression for your own pleasure.
His head dips down as he bites at your shoulder, before he is suddenly getting up as he searches for something in his bag close to the corner of the room. He returns, opening the small foil package on his way already as he sheds his clothes eagerly. You help him roll the condom over his length, his own excitement visible as he slowly slips inside you. “I love you.” He says as you hold onto him, his pace slow as he continues whispering. “I really do, I promise, I love you.” He says, while he can’t stop kissing you, even when he grows sloppy with it.
You don’t mind.
Its different from the time you both got together first years back, but at the same time, it feels like coming home, like a distant deja-vu. But he’s right; he’s more mature, more experienced, knows how to move and how to handle your body as he keeps you close. Its just like he said; not rushed, slow, and steady, as he makes sure you feel just as good as he does.
Because this is not just fooling around to him. Its not just pleasure, its not just being close to you.
Its a fire reignited.
Its the final wall broken down.
---
“Appa!” Nari says, quickly making her way into the room as she returns with you from shopping. You laugh as you call out for her.
“Nari, we have to wrap it first before you can give it to him!” You remind her, as Jungkook raises his eyebrow, unsure about what you’re talking about. There’s also numerous dates running through his head he maybe forgot, but that’s besides the point.
“Oh!” She exclaims dramatically, now running past him into her room. “Quick quick!” She shouts, as you give Jungkook a quick kiss while walking past, making him look at you a bit curiously, but he leaves you to it as you vanish into her room.
When you emerge, she’s just as excited again, practically shoving the small very awkwardly wrapped item into his chest, while she demands him to open it. He, at first, plays just as excited, before he genuinely looks at you in shock.
“We made it together today. She wanted to give you something special for Father’s day, you know, something no one else has.” You explain, as he looks at the small snow globe in his hands. Inside is a simple tree, but there’s three bunnies on the ground there; one with a dress, another in blue pants, and a small one in the middle.
Its you, and Nari, and him, he realizes.
And he’s desperately trying not to cry as he picks the little girl up onto his lap, pressing a kiss to the side of her face.
--
#jungkook imagine#bts imagine#bts fanfic#bts fic#bts smut#jeon jungkook x reader#reconnect#reconnect au
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