#<--- bc of that last one. which makes me fucking insane

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

i’m still thinking abt that fucking post like it reads like a parody of izzy takes. claiming there’s this deep bond btwn ed and izzy that we never see evidence of but izzy said so that one time so it must be true. berating “ed fans” for not appreciating the true complexity of ed’s character by which i mean accept that he’s a violent abusive brown man. making nonsensical claims about why stede and ed are a bad couple.

but then it gets to “he screams in ed’s face when ed shaves his beard and they never talk about it” which is such an insanely factually incorrect way to describe what happens. what happens being stede shouting in surprise and alarm one time and then ed and stede literally having a whole conversation about it in s2 and stede using this conversation to segue into telling ed he loves him and gaining his forgiveness. like it’s the “they never talk about it” part that just has me absolutely floored bc like. the rest of the post is stuff i would be able to make up on my own just based on other izzy fan posts, but “they never talk about it” is such a objectively untrue statement that it can only be made by someone who genuinely believes this. which then haunts me bc like, when was the last time they watched s2? how many times did they watch s2? how much of s2 do they remember? is the reason they don’t remember this scene bc it takes place during the edstede reunion arc which happens completely separated from the crew and izzy? do they only remember the parts of s2 involving izzy? do they realize that’s only about like… 15% of the season? do they realize what a small percentage of this show they actually think about?

#if this post is in the izcourse tag no it isnt u just dont know how to use tumblr #txt #mine #og

[sunsetsandsunshine]

An issue I need to address:

TW: Drama, cussing…yk all that jazz. I apologize that this post is what you all are receiving from me today. But I need to talk about this before it get’s worse.

Okay, I just want to clarify that there should be no hate being sent towards @osctwordfan for this. Hate and hurtful comments will not and cannot fix what has been done. But that does not I am not angry about it. I am mad. I am livid. Only two people on this site has been able to make me this genuinely upset and it’s frustrating that making a PUBLIC POST is the only way to get this person’s attention. 

4 days ago, May 16th, @osctwordfan started following me. Which, I greatley appreciated because HELLO??? Who wouldn’t, right? A new follower is just an awesome feeling to have. So, I checked their blog to see what they liked and we shared SO many similar interests it was almost scary. And I followed back. 

If you know me for a while, you know my whole “Hi new mutual 💝” message I send to my new mutuals. Because 1: I love talking to people and 2: I just want others to feel like they’re welcome. (If you haven’t received one yet it’s either bc you’re a little older than me or idk how to send the message. BUT YOU WILL GET ONE TRUST 💞💓💘💖💝)

And you all know how you can SEE when someone is online? Well, they were online when I texted this. And I got no response. I just assumed it was nervousness or shyness so I didn’t really question it. Until a few minuetes later they reblogged my “You can always ask” fic. 

Which, woo-hoo I guess. But my message was still not answered. But I didn’t think it was THAT deep. 

The next day, May 17th, I noticed they were online. I sent a quick “Hi” again, awaiting a response. About 5 minutes later I was met with one, except it wasn’t the one I was expecting or hoping for. 

It was a request. For a fanfiction. Okay okay cool. Coolio. You…ignore my two messages of me just simply saying a quick “hello” and you don’t answer…instead you ask for a tickle fanfiction of some turtles? 

I get people are shy. I get that. I do. But me and one of my best friends were talking about it on Insta and it made no damn sense. Following, reblogging and requesting things from an individual that’s been trying to speak with you for the past few days and you not responding and then ASKING something of them is just…weird. 

Me and one of my best friend’s convo:

So, on May 18th I saw they were online again, and so I texted the following: 

Which I felt was fine. It was straight to the point. But where my anger really emegred was when I got notifications of my fics being reblogged by the same person. AGAIN. NOT EVEN 3 MINUTES LATER.

And then May 19th they liked another post of mine. Although it was a post that you would have to DIG DEEP FOR. Because I made it a year ago and only 4 people liked it (INCLUDING ME.). So you would have to LOOK LOOK to find it. 

Then yesterday, May 20th, was just my breaking point. I was chilling, having a nice evening, talking with my fellow mutuals, writing a fic (AND FINISHING WOO-HOO) until I get a notification. And guess what? It’s just another reblog by the same person. 

Did I get any responses of my pervious texts? Nope. Not at ALL. 

I am sick and hurt of being treated as if I’m just a computer that makes fanfictions.

I am a PERSON. A human being that for the past week has been trying to talk with you. And you at fucking 16 should understand that. 

You are one whole year older than me and you think you have the right to treat me this way. Who the absolute hell do you think you are? 

Because let me get this through your head: I live in an African and Jamaican  household, and one thing that we let each other know day in and day out is to never ever let someone make you feel like you’re less. 

So when you see this @osctwordfan I am hoping you have a good explanation regarding to last week. 

@ ing mutual’s in this because this is INSANE and I am LIVID rn: 

@itzsana-kiddingmenow @veryblushyswitch

@skyloladoodles @saturnzskyzz @backy-san

@creativecutie @savemeafruitjuice

@mythica0 @leosmasktails @someone1348 @vxlepop

@anxious-lee @charismakat

@sunny-117 @odder-outlet @jamiesgotchu @ziipzeepzop-eez

@danineedshelp @pocky-dragon

@my-l0v3r-v3rse @rice-cake-teen10

#Didn’t add everyone bc that would be SM people #Mostly everyone though #Look #At the end of the day I’m sorry it came down to me making a post about you #But you seriously left me no choice #LIKE ACTUALLY #But srsly idfk what could be the explanation towards all of this #You sent me an ask and you would be able to see the notifications of me messaging you #If you had messages off I wouldn’t be able to in the first place/Tumblr would tell me #Also mutual’s you don’t have to respond if you don’t want to 💞💞💞 #I’m just trying to figure out if I have a right to be upset abt this… #Sfw tickle community #Sfw tickle blog #Blog drama #Follower drama #Dude I don’t even want an apology I just want you to EXPLAIN #I hate drama #But I needed to post this #I’m not trying to be mean rn #I’m just trying to understand

[gauloiseblue]

Ok so, you don't have to do this if you're not accepting requests. But I am way too insane about IOFAB and idk why. It has been in my head since the beginning of May. I couldn't focus for weeks, that's how good it is (it didn't really help that the Kendrick v Drizzy beatdown happened).

Can we have more stuff in the IOFAB verse? Maybe something from König's POV (this guy has to be aware that he's just making her hate him even more)? Maybe life after the last escape/shooting incident can't believe the guy actually did multiple rounds with a bullet in his shoulder that's gotta hurt, pregnancy, or kids? Or maybe domestic horror fluff (if that's actually a thing)? Or something about how he managed to keep reader as his lawfully kidnapped wife (this guy definitely put trackers in her ring)? I just realized that I keep referring to reader/darling as his wife even though they ain't married yet Or maybe even an alternate timeline in which deals with what would happen if they did meet but those guys had to actually disclose that they found those survivors which would mean König would not be able to have her?

IOFAB König is so different from the other yandere Königs because he actually shows his hand right in the beginning. Like he's not just some oWo shy guy that is a yandere that goes “maybe I should keep you here with me so that you wouldn't leave me, schatz haha jk... unless 🙂”. He just straight up “You're with me now. Sooner you accept it, the better it will be for you”. He wouldn't hurt reader but he definitely wouldn't hesitate to drop kick a kitten or even his children if they would somehow aid her in her escape.

Something something he would put the world at her feet but wouldn't ever let her see her family ever again. Something something you could put the world through eternal winter and starvation but he won't ever let his goddess go, not even for 6 months. Something something he would hunt her down in their next life. Something something God never blessed him so he's taking one of His blessed angels for himself. Something something he's worshipping the ground her chained feet walk on. Ok now this is getting too long. In short, this guy warrants the “Why are you like this” microscope and “You're not a human nor a dog but a secret third thing” and you don't have to but if you want to, please please please please please can we have more IOFAB?

Zero, you're now officially the number one fans of IOFAB XD idk if I should be glad or concerned about it.

I mean, if you wanna theorize about their future and stuff, I'll gladly answer it. But for me, the story already ended here. I don't really plan to write a continuation of it. Maybe I'll write a lil bit of it in other people's POVs but that's it.

As for König's POV, I think we've covered a lot about his psychology. Like, of course he knew she hated him, but it wouldn't last. If he keeps on giving her what she needs (tolerance, space, care, etc), she'll eventually come to love him, or at least tolerate his presence. It's like a 'trust the process' situation.

I won't really write about pregnancy and kids, because it's more fun when I let the reader decide what's best for her. My actual HC is she'll only have 1 kid, and it's a boy. That's it.

There are 3 endings that I've thought about, it's either; (1) she manages to escape with the help of the maid (The Handmaiden storyline, wlw), (2) she's staying with him until the end (Göth's dream), (3) she's rescued by the third party, there's a possibility that he or the reader dies in this scenario (the realistic ending). But I won't make either of them canon, bc where's the fun in that?

As for the AUs, I haven't got the right idea for it. I think yours is good, but I honestly don't know where to start 😅

Personally, in my humblest opinion, I think shy yandere shouldn't exist in fiction. I fucking hate it, because it's very manipulative in the cheapest way. Like, they'd appear "harmless" like a weirdo, but would go 180° at any given chance. And what makes me hate them the most is that they'd go back to their shy shell when they're being cornered. They can't and won't take any responsibility for their actions. Oh, he kissed you without your consent? Well, that's your fault bc you seduced him (even if you didn't). Every time I read about a shy yandere man, I just wanna bash his head with a bat. Like, you're not fooling anyone with that attitude. Just take what you want and admit it, even if it means you have to be ruthless.

I must admit, IOFAB König does hold a "secret third thing" vibe, because I don't think he exists irl in terms of personality. He's like, if patience is taken too far, and if patience is the source of horror. He doesn't really worship her, but he views her as the rarest and the most exotic thing. If you ever read about the exotic animal keeper, or the curator of the rarest arts, then you'll understand why he behaves that way. They're very patient, and they're very possessive of their treasure. If the tiger that they keep bites their arm, they won't put it down. They'll find a way to tame it—they'll try to win its affection instead. If one particular art requires so much maintenance, and so much cost to keep it in good condition, the curator would pay for it. They won't abandon the art piece, because they know how much it's worth. That's how König views his wife.

I know it sounds like he's objectifying his wife, but sometimes humans love their things more than other humans. I'm just using that feeling as the base for IOFAB König.

Maybe I'll write about the domestic horror stuff, but I still don't know how, so no promise 🤔

#little-shit-with-zero-control ask #cod #call of duty #konig x reader #IOFAB #personal rant

[puppyeared]

Callbacks to older episodes

#the last one is kind of subtle. theyre from edas childhood bedroom lol #the hospital and amity’s ship are probably my fav references.. considering we saw at least 3 different precincts in the show it prob implies #there are way more of them all over the isles. also the sheer symbolism of the precinct being changed into a hospital fucking got me man #also amity’s ship with the little cat paws and face bc of luz making a cat face out of her abomination… I love them #HHHHHGGGGG IM GONNA MISS THIS SHOW MAN #if you notice to the right of eda’s office THERES a mural of raine and a small photo of Luz and King #there are also symbols of the titans skull replacing the emperors coven and the attention to detail is insane #they even managed to sneak one into 1 or 2 backgrounds which I did not expect #the owl house spoilers #toh spoilers #toh #the owl house #toh watching and dreaming #watching and dreaming #watching and dreaming spoilers #wad spoilers #toh finale spoilers

[rambles-about-minecraft-ocs]

one of my favorite things about zedaph is that on a server full of people that find strange and oft-overlooked minecraft mechanics or rare events and then see just how far they can push them in the name of spectacle or efficiency or world-breaking, zed is over here finding these mechanics in order to do the weirdest things he can think of in as entertaining a manner as possible

like i 100% have faith in zedaph's theoretical ability to be just as efficient or spectacular or world-breaking. if he wanted to do that stuff, i trust that he absolutely could. but thats so far from being his priority. instead, hes going to spend around a week of irl time focused entirely on eventually having the good luck to spawn in something insanely rare so that he can convert it into something even rarer, the result of which being something that 99% of the server reacts with complete and utter shock that it even exists in the first place, just because its zany and funny and he wanted to. and i love that

#zedaph #hermitcraft #genuinely i adore the clucky few project im not even done watching the episode and i had to pause and make this post #i saw impulses video first and went ''that HAS to be some sort of datapack or something-'' #only to immediately go ''no. no it cant be. because this is zed #and its practically a trademark of his to push the limits of the game as far as possible in the direction least expected #not for the purpose of efficiency or spectacle or intimidation or whatever like some players who push limits #but purely for the purpose of making something so funny you cant help but laugh at whats going on #and maybe being a bit impressed that he ever thought of it in the first place'' #at which point i went ''holy shit. since its zed doing this. somehow he ACTUALLY got a villager on a chicken. with no cheats. thats INSANE' #i was relieved when i checked my subscriptions to see what the next video i had to watch was and saw he would be next in line #bc if i had to sit through 19 other hermits videos before i could watch his and find out what the fuck he was doing i would have been so sa #sidenote but i feel like a zed video where he interacts with this many other people all in the same video is so rare #idk i didnt watch season 9 and i know he started collabing a lot more w/ other hermits then #so maybe its not nearly as rare these days #but like the last one that *i* saw where he interacted with this many people at once was towards the end of season 8 #when all the people he experimented on earlier in the season came back to experiment on him #and like i would like zeds videos with or without the collabs. but its a lot of fun to see him interact with people #so its very cool to me when he does it with a lot of people all in the same video

[mossflower]

loki season two has me screaming crying throwing up trying not to get dragged back into the mcu trenches

#i am stronger than this. i am better than this!! #by the trenches i mean consuming fanfiction at an unhealthy rate. fourteen year old me was insane i think i was on ao3 more than i slept #that’s not exaggeration. i was getting four hours of sleep on school nights and frequently went to bed at 5am on weekends #it is ONE good story. one. literally not worth it. i don’t even care about ninety percent of the mcu characters #i will ignore the little voice in my head reminding of the sheer amount of fanfiction. this was my pre-tumblr days #so my fandom interaction was like. youtube and ao3. maybe instagram posts sometimes. it was so much fun like. zero drama zero discourse #i was honestly living my best life. got less interested when i joined tumblr and went full doctor who mode #and after endgame i watched i think wandavision and loki and that was it. just didnt care anymore lol #i know exactly why this is happening tho. currently the thing i am insane about is my own damn project. which i am in the process of writin #for obvious reasons no fandom there. bc it lives in my mind twenty four fucking seven #i do wonder if i’m kind of growing away from fandom anyway? the closest i’ve got since toh ended was homestuck tbh #i want to feel obsessed with something again!! everything i’m into now - tma tlt and the like - i love them #but it doesnt hit like it used to. i don’t know it’s hard to explain #like video essays that i would have loved a few years ago!! the hour long ones about representation and queer media #they just irritate me now! i got halfway through one last week and had to bail i just could not care less #how did 2020 social media have me convinced that x character being gay was super important politically economically socially etc #ofc the answer is that i was a baby lesbian getting even less social interaction than normal #like representation is important obviously but also. sometimes it was not that deep #i don’t know if i’m making sense tbh but you get my drift #morganposting

[mqonlighting]

real talk in the tags for a second because i have a crush on a girl and i. a hehe. ahehehe.

will be burying this in reblogs and never touching on it again

#so random disclaimer this girl is like a year older than me and in high school it’s like a nono for older and younger batch to like be #a thing so i know i generally have no chance but i like to live in my own insanity and the progression of my crush on her has been absolute #ly cuckoo bananas. so like it started out as ‘i wanna be your friend’ and progressed into ‘shit they’re really pretty’ to ‘wow ur so??’ to #‘fuck i like them’ and then it died down and then by all golly it came back but more of a hallway crush now which is bearable bc i’m #not really a part of their life?? like we know each other but we don’t wave and shit and we don’t like ever interact that much so i was lik #ok this is fine bc they literally never think of me so i’m just admiring from afar. and the FIRST inciting incident was i request them onig #and i expect to not get accepted because according to their friends they onyl accept close friends and i’m like k this is a bad idea probs #but the worst that could happen is i get left in their follow requests right?? RIGHT?? but then within like two hours of reqing. lord. #i got. ACCEPTED. and they requested back. and suddenly it’s +1 tangibility like ok?? maybe we’re not as strangers as i thought we were #i later discovered i was not that special for this but also?? cool?? anyways for a while it kind of laid dead and we never spoke at all eve #tho i was in their acc now (at this time they barely posted but whenever they did it was so?? funny like they would slap the randomest shit #on that acc) and it was still a hallway crush altho my friends r awful (/pos) people who would always make me pass their hallway and i #would run into them so often but at this point we only ever like exchanged glances and they would walk right past me like i wasnt even ther #but THEN the second incident happened which was basically we had to play instruments for this christmas event thing and bc they’re literall #y amazing they played for it and i was roped into it and. i was so gay the whole time. bc who wears a leather jacket to school and gets the #prettiest haircut ever right on the last day before a long break?? and the worst part is whenevr something confusing happened they would #turn to me and this one other person and we’d b laughing together. like we r friends. and they’re so fucking nice they were checking up on #us the whole time i was literally dying i kept dropping my pick and stealing looks AURURUGH and they’re so gen funny and interesting i just #and the first few days of holiday break i just couldn’t stop thinking abt them it was so bad? like that was the moment where i was genuinel #like is this more than a hallway crush… eventually it died back down until the next event we had to play together where they were being SO #SO much more comf w me? like exchanging knowing looks when smt funny happens and that stuff.. at this point i didnt even know what to like #think of my crush on them so i just let it be yk. atp they’re not even waving at me in the hallways at all still so maybe they’re just bein #nice! BUT NO. THAT IS UNTIL I AUDITIONED FOR A BAND (theyr in charge of accepting) AND THEY ACCEPTED ME WHICH COOL BUT LIKE A DAY LATER I #HEARD FROM OUR MUTUAL FRIEND THAT THEY SAID ‘yeaa im so happy i got (my name)’ AS IN IN THE BAND. LIKE. HELLO?? HI U THIUGHT ABT ME?? and #during the first band mtg where everyone’s all awk they kept making eye contact w me and asking if i was good and making sure i got to say #smt before anyone made a decision and it. murdered. me. i’m sorry maybe it’s the fanfic writer in me or this shit is literally nothing and #think they’re just nice to everyone but who cares bc it means they’re nice to ME too. and then last week happened. which was like the nail #in the coffin. INTERACTION ACTIVITY. I IMPULSIVELY ASK IF THEY WANNA B GROUPMATES AND THEY SAY YES. THEY ONLY TALK TO ME AND THEIR FRIENDS. #I ACT STUPID. THEY ALUGH AND TOUCH MY SHOULDER. I ASK ABT THEIR CAMERA AND THEY GO ON A LONG-ISH (cute) RANT ABT SMTH. THEY ASK WHY I HAVE #BIG ASS STACK OF POST ITS. WE TALK. THEY LAUGH AT MY JOKES. SUDDENLY. THEY SAY A FULL HELLO IN THE HALLS. THEY WAVE AT ME A DAY LATER. FUCK

[ladyimaginarium]

mini gangsta fandom rant bc im&. annoyed bc i& remember seeing a bunch of hcs back in the day of how like. striker never cared about beretta at all whatsoever & only ever cared about marco. or ppl just blatantly erasing or removing her autonomy & influence & power in the storyline & reducing her as a prop to be used for the male characters' angst or otherwise she's just there to look pretty instead of being. yknow. a villain. or g-d forbid a person. & ignoring & erasing beretta both as an individual character but also as a major person in striker's life. or that striker's lowkey violent or abusing beretta w/ her almost always being on the receiving end of all kinds of abuse or people implying that she's just plain stupid or dedicated enough to striker to be just his toy to be used for his own pleasures or that they're not equals in any way. despite canon indicating nothing of the sort & im& just like. are. ARE WE READING THE SAME FUCKING MANGA LMAO

like. striker literally NEVER, EVER, reacts negatively to her. striker CARES for her, he RESPECTS her, he PROTECTS her, he TAKES CARE of her, he TREATS HER LIKE A PERSON. striker NEVER abuses her. he NEVER swears at her. he has NEVER told her to mind her own business, he NEVER silences her or even worse, NEVER swears at her & NEVER hurts her like he had with spas when he told striker & beretta that he wouldn't be returning to the second destroyers. he NEVER said or did anything uncouth like that to her.

if anything, it's the exact opposite.

maverick literally tells spas that beretta is striker's weakness. which, coming from someone like striker, that's a hell of a compliment. she clearly wants to fuck him & expresses sexual interest & desire for him. they're almost always touching. she reaches out to hold his hand. after she "gifts" him constance, he tells her that she's incredible.

now. does any of that look like abuse or beretta being mistreated. lol

okay cw for upcoming gore & nonexplicit discussion of csa & creeps.

he PROTECTS her. he AVENGES her. he DEFENDS HER HONOR. he CANONICALLY MURDERS HER ABUSERS. i.e chau who's a grown ass 30 year old man when beretta is. literally 13 years old. a CHILD.

the night before CURSED happens, he fucking SNAPS the minute beretta tells him that three men attacked her & kills the mfs instantly.

& VIOLENTLY at that, particularly the one that threatened to kill her & after he previously said she "came onto" them, aka, beretta, a clearly visible 13 year old child, led three grown ass men on, & he keeps beating the guy even after he's dead into a bloody mess. good on striker. & seeing how unfazed beretta is, this has likely happened before. & that realization paints a very dark & sobering picture for beretta; this is a girl who grew up too fast & striker knows this & it's because of this that he's so viciously & violently protective over her.

he saved her life before. look at the look on his face when he tells her to get the FUCK out of there. that's pure unadulterated desperation.

now. do they have issues with marco?? yeah ofc !! but. yall. yall mean to tell me& that. HE DOESNT CARE FOR HER AT ALL ????

literally look at how gentle he is with her. he doesn't just throw her ass on his back then yeet her onto the stairs, he gently places her down. then he leaves her momentarily to rest & recuperate bc he cares about her rather than selfishly going on with their plan together to... do whatever the hell they were planning on w/ daniel monroe.

when the flare happens, beretta comes to get him & he's pissed because 1) he wants to go after daniel monroe & 2) he's pissed in like that angry protective bf way that she's even there with him.

he even apologizes to her. he does so right away in fact & he does so sincerely & in a teasing, loving, lighthearted way, putting himself in a position we, the audience, never see him be willing to take ( not even in situations where it was more than warranted ) because striker is just. simply not the type to feel he owes anything to anyone & much less the type who admits when he's wrong. but most importantly, he apologizes to beretta bc he genuinely WANTs to, with not a single thought to her abilities, having no ulterior motives & no personal gain. he apologizes bc he knows he was in the wrong, that he hurt her feelings by staying away a bit from her for too long ( maybe clingy, but they're like 13 & 14 respectively here guys what do you expect y'all lmfao ), regrets that & wants to offer at least that much. & he always says "we" when referring to their plans; he includes her in their plan.

with that said, it's. VERY obvious that beretta seems to trust only striker with the softer, more vulnerable parts of her personality since he was a source of strength for her in overcoming her trauma as a child experiment & he lets her cling to him so he can comfort her & vice versa. & keep in mind the above scene is all happening while striker is holding a decapitated head & neck & shoulderblades clean off. this is from STRIKER of all people, y'know, the guy who casually choked a man to death in front of his son while on the phone with beretta simply to kill time, the guy who deadass hulk smashed his way through a building while laughing like a maniac & wiped the floor with ergastulum's high ranking twilights. this guy is soft for someone like beretta, that has to mean something bc that's impressive tbh.

he literally lets her bodily drag him around by the arm. lmao

& that doesn't change not even as grown ass adults. lmfao

literally look at his face is when he realizes that she's hurt/in danger.

& he is literally ALWAYS near her afterward to make sure she's okay & acting as a source of comfort for her when he clearly doesn't have to.

& that's not to say beretta's a weakling, no, she faced several high ranking twilights even as a tiny 13 year old girl & caused so much death & destruction to ergastulum & by the end of CURSED, all she gets is a tiny cut on her right shoulder. all of that was a game to her. striker doesn't protect her bc she's weak, he protects her bc he Wants to. we don't have a full backstory for striker or beretta for that matter yet, but i'd& bet my& money that beretta, like the other destroyers, that she struggled & was experimented on & was traumatized in the government laboratories by scientists who treated her like she wasn't even human & that she had to work her ass off to get to where she is. like. this is only one example of how horrifying their treatment was.

LITCHERAL STRAITJACKETS, WALKING ON COLD TILED FLOORS BAREFOOT & STRIKER LITERALLY HAS A MUZZLE ON HIM. that's literally so dehumanizing for anyone let alone a CHILD where they look about 6-8 years old here & even moreso for a BLACK child & just how horrible those implications are & how black boys are so often treated & it doesn't make it better that nobody else from the destroyers were seen with a muzzle on them & i& think the reason why striker cares about & i'd& argue loves beretta so much is that she never once thought of him like a monster like literally almost everyone else in the series has or as a rabid dog to be treated like the government or as a weapon to be used; to beretta, he's a person. so there's this underlying undertone & there are many canonical implications in the series that, precisely BECAUSE they both went through hell and back together as children growing up, they have an unbreakable bond that's unparalleled with anyone else in the series. & y'know, for being villains, they're actually in a healthy relationship.

beretta would do literally ANYTHING for that man & it makes me& wanna tear men in half & go clinically insane. & some ppl might find that crazy but like. if you're genuinely in love with someone & go through the same circumstances that beretta has, who wouldn't. if you haven't been abused your entire life & someone comes along in your life & they're the first person to treat you like you were an actual human being? you'd do anything for that person without question. so beretta's not "stupid" or "too devoted"; she makes her own choices. they both grew up together & witnessed unimaginable horrors & governmental abuse together, they really didn't have nothing but each other for a very long time. & then spas betrayed them, & minimi & maverick are both dead. & now only striker & beretta remain.

this is one of my& favorite scenes in the entire series. there's no dialogue shared between them, but it carries one message: I'm here for you when the whole world stands against you. they don't Need that dialogue, the way they feel for each other is in their actions. it's a really heartwarming feeling despite the tragedies & crimes they both committed. don't get me& wrong, they're both horrible people who've done horrible things to both good & innocent people & tbh overall shitty horrible people, this isn't me& justifying any of their actions or trying to woobify them ... but the fact that beretta still metaphorically, symbolically & literally stands by & behind him is just so beautiful & it shows how much she loves him ( & by doing so she's saving worick's life bc let's face it striker can very well still kill him with one arm be for fucking real ). so striker's publicly humiliated by everyone, he's called a failure to his face, he's just freshly lost his arm & his eye & he'll likely live the rest of his life disabled, mocked & shamed by everyone else, after spending his entire life trained to fight & kill for a cause that he was brainwashed by the government to believe in ... but beretta still keeps her arms around him in his moment of greatest need, & if that's not genuine love, then i& don't know what is. even after he's hurt her by possibly making her think that he values marco over her despite all she's done for him, she still holds onto him to let him know that in his most vulnerable moments, she is right there beside him holding him. she still supports while knowing that won't get her anything in return & putting his needs before hers... that's something incredibly heartwarming coming from someone as cruel, cold & cunning as beretta; this is a side of her that only striker gets the privilege of seeing. because her love for him isn't shallow, it's not based on looks, power, glory or lust alone, because if it was, she'd have left his ass right when he became disabled, it's because she loves him as a PERSON despite how fucked up he is.

regardless, they have mutual development, i'm& not necessarily confirming whether or not their relationship is mutual & romantic in nature but it's definitely obvious they're in some kind of relationship. they have a significant amount of substance ( meaningful moments from both ends, interactions, they're literally almost ALWAYS by each other' side & almost ALWAYS touching, it's heavily implied & then confirmed that they've had sex, subtext, focus, backstory, remarks from other characters, etc. ). the most selfless acts they do ( as surprising as that sounds, coming from people like them ) that we have seen them have been directly related to their feelings for each other, like saving each other's lives & putting their lives in jeopardy & throwing aside any fear in order to courageously run to each other's aid & save each other's life to do so when no one else did... & that speaks volumes. & regardless of what happens next & regardless of whether or not you ship them yourself, you have to at least recognize that they do care deeply about each other, beretta is a MAJOR person in striker's life, striker has never ONCE abused her or treated her violently, they are EQUALS although she's happy to follow his lead but isn't afraid to make her own decisions, striker PROTECTS beretta, he murdered her abusers & there is no canonical evidence for any of the aforementioned headcanons & to suggest otherwise is an insult not just to the ship but also to their individual characters. & all this coming from a CANONICALLY QUEER BISEXUAL INTERRACIAL PAIRING? that's a MASSIVE deal in animanga.

#arcana.txt #fandom: gangsta. #& like. on striker's behalf that's not even getting into the stereotypes of black men.... #& how black men especially QUEER black men which striker canonically is are simultaneously oversexualized & demonized #like. please think why you would think striker's abusive towards beretta. there's literally no canon evidence for it. /nbh #idk ive& been thinking of making this for the longest time & here it is #fictives. #bellatrix belladonna / beretta. #THEY R LITERALLY CRYING SCREAMING SHITTING THROWING UP & GOING FUCKING FERAL FOR EACH OTHER & DAS FAX #& if sb dont love me& Like That then i& dont want them AT ALL !!!! #reposting this bc i tried to insert a video into the last one & couldn't edit so DFGGHFHGGJHGJHHHHJHJHHHGHHHJ #BUT W/E W/E THEY'RE INSANE FOR EACH OTHER

[pepprs]

update i have to apply for my own job for the SECOND time in two years by wednesday and im taking my learners permit test on friday which means i have to finish absorbing the drivers manual by then. the way i am LONGING to walk into traffic.

#the driving thing is just extra stress but the applying for my own job AGAIN thing is making me absofuckingLUTELY insane. this process was #so psychically damaging for me to go through a year ago and the fact that exactly a year later i am doing it again and have to jump thru all #the same hoops and write a new cover letter and find new references and INTERVIEW with my colleagues and all that… like i appreciate this so #much bc basically what is happening is im getting a raise and will be converted to a regular employee (im contractual rn bc that’s all they #could do when i graduated). but like the fact that i am once again under the MORTIFYING psychic stress of my colleagues being the search #committee and me being u able to talk to them abt this or get reassurance and them having to treat me like they don’t know me and this not #being guaranteed and other people potentially applying and me having to compete with them… it is too much fucking stress for me to go #through. it’s just too fucking much. i am so mentally and emotionally exhausted and now i have to walk through fire AGAIN⁉️⁉️⁉️ i wanna KMS #like it’s fine. but also the existential dreaddddd the way i cannot bear to live through this one more time but i have to and im going to. 😍 #purrs #delete later #like i get it and i know it’s to make it fair and equitable. but whyyyyy do they have to put me through this again have i not proven myself #time and time again is this job not QUITE LITERALLY designed for me to be in it. and it’s not merely an annoyance it’s like… actively a #stressor that is taking years off my life just like it did last year and the timeline is even more accelerated bc last year i had two weeks #to apply and this time i have FIVE DAYS!!!!! and i have to reach out to references and i can’t do that until monday bc it’s the weekend 😭😭😭😭 #like LMFOAHDHSKDHSODHAJJB of course this is happening to meeeeee im going fucking insane. also i might have to do this a THIRD time someday #and i would have to get a masters degree for that too. so basically the only path forward is CEASELESS suffering and psychic agony. there is #no hope for women. fuck my stupid baka life. but also this is a good thing and also i have it sooooo good which is soooo unfair to everyone #else for example possibly wasting everyone else’s time who applies for this job. but also fuck my stupid baka life. #technically im applying for this job for the second time in 365 days. like it’s not even two years it’s that i did this a year ago and now a #year later im doing it again. LESS than a year later. it hasn’t even been a full year yet. help 😻👍 #if february 9 2022 me fucking knew what HORRORS awaited her 24 hours from then and 3 months from then and 5 months from then and 15 months f #from then. she would have imploded LMFAOOOOOOOO

[volfoss]

also its very funny bc choosing a misdeeds mission will have mistos going up to you and being like 😒 do you REALLY wanna do this one. like the one im doing rn is about this sibling who was like hey. i dont want my sister to date. kill the guy shes dating. and mistos was like this is mushy relationship stuff and i dont wanna get involved :///// and when i get there, shalvas starts the battle with smth along the lines of i really dont want to do this but here we go. literally what is his deal

#twist rambles #♟ #normally hes like ok ^-^ lets go into battle. its very funny to me bc its not JSUT my guilt over doing anything bad in games but they #will just be fucking miserable when u do evil missions. its very funny to me bc like. shalvas DOES have an established character. 10000% bu #if vol/foss was popular i knowwww people would give him the giorno treatment of no personality and he sucks to a majority of people. #but anyways it IS silly to me that mistos has to give his 2 cents on every mission you go on. even if its not an evil one. i think he prob #is mad at shalvas for taking this evil mission but shalvas is also on mad at me island due to me making him do this one so. really its only #fair. or something. its silly to me i like the little touches that they add. bc idk like normally ur protag in a game is pretty moldable to #ur choices. ie like. tw2s you have to pick the guys that suck so bad or the elves we are insanely racist to for a lot of the game #and like. when u look canonically. peepaw does notttt like to pick sides w the war. and esp since he doesnt have his memory back fully by #the time he makes that choice theres no way that he can use his prev knowledge from the LAST war to inform his choice. and that game treate #it as like yeah siding w the govt who are notoriously rly bad or the elves who are well. they sure fit them into the trope of i wrote a bad #guy and he has valid points but to make sure ppl hate him i have to have him do extreme evil. so u dont WANT to choose the elves side. #unless u suffered thru the really fucking bad racism in the books irt that. which i did. so for me its very funny to like. see vol/foss #handle the thing of ok u have choices and one of them is something it doesnt seem like the protag would do. in a more natural way ig.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#hmmm. was just looking at the results of my bloodtest from earlier this week and im all normal apparently #so my thyroid isnt fucked and the hypomanic episodes r in fact just coming from my brain as expected #and the doctor did slap me with a bipolar II diagnosis. which is still find dubious. but also he would have to i guess in order to #prescribe me an antipsychotic but like. sounds like a thing that would increase my insurance rates lol #whatever. i just find the idea of me being bipolar to be so wild. i mean like yes. i guess technically if u look at the word bipolar #unipolar would b a depressed and normal mood range. and bipolar would b depressed and elevated mood #and yes ive spent a lot of my life being rather depressed. sometimes treding near the point of not being able to function #but like usually its not that bad and im so anxious i cant just not function. the ocd keeps me afloat lmao #and yes i have these infrequent little peaks of high energy and even more infrequent instances of elevated mood #so i guess yes that does count as a bipolar mood profile. but is the underlying cause bipolar disorder or is it that i make myself so #miserable with my compulsive behavior that it sends me into spirals of depression or overheats my brain into fits of hypomania #i suppose it doesnt really matter if the presentation is still on thr spectrum #idk i guess i just find it annoying not to fit cleanly into a box. im more a: the spectrum of human experience type person #i guess its better to struggle a lil bit with a number of things than b all consumed by one single thing #i mean. im a lil all consumed by the compulsive behavior. but again its not exactly thr classic presentation of ocd. which i find #frustrating bc i like to characterize and understand things. ugh #well see what the psychologist has to say when i show her my insane mood tracking figures #lol last time she told me to track my anxiety but not make a chart abt it. and i was like god dammit shes onto me #listen. i do research. i like data 🙄 #unrelated #also the docor i saw was like yea its joy normal to get 3hrs of sleep and not b tired #how abt a week of 5-6hrs of sleep and not being tired??? how bout that? #also not good fyi. i csn feel my brain fraying #me: shut up im normal. also me not sleeping and getting increasingly unhinged #ive got 1tachi levek eye bags 😭 #also i kno its a thing they have to ask but everytime i start describing how i would charactize my intrusive thoughts doctors go: #hm. do u even hear voices telling u do do these thing? and its like no theyre my thoughts but also they feel like they come from outside #of my body. which when i say it sounds crazy but like idk how else to say it. its like theyre projected into my head but i kno it comes #from me. ya kno?

[cirillafionaelenriannon]

me when i say shit abt skulduggery pleasant that makes it sound good or interesting but i am actually neglecting to comment on the 99 things wrong with it that arent just the narrative Failing me in every way 

#text #valkyrie.txt #we are not even going 2 talk abt the implied crush valkyrie had on skulduggery when she was 14 or darquesse kissing his dead skull #which actually tht last one was kinda ... like i support it but she did it on his teeth and derek landys girlfriend #ships valduggery and i cant even get into it bc it doesnt matter its skulduggery pleasant #But where would i even begin one time he saw her naked WHICH WAS WEIRD & UNNECESARRY BC SHE WAS LIKE 16 IT WAS FUCKING CREEPY #AND I DONT KNOW WHY THAT OLD MAN PUT THAT IN THERE FOR REAL #this is y i tell everyone not 2 read it just perceive it thru my Eyes where i have put every single thing thru a filtration system #designed specifically 2 make me feel less insane

[xfindingtrouble]

anywayssss a plot i really would like to explore with percy is perhaps him having a childhood sweetheart that he reunites with while hunting ripley [ pre-vm ] & then like maybe they don’t get along well. maybe they’re forced to work together for some other reason though & they get to relearn everything about one another in the process, reigniting some of that chemistry & perhaps even. . .. . . .. falling in love [ bonus round if op has also had to reinvent themselves. i love two people who are hard to get along with taking the time to understand one another ]

#wishlist. #i do not know if this makes sense but the thought is lingering in my head #bcs i have been thinking on percy's age hard the last few days & i think he was 16 or 17 when his family was killed #which would place him at abt 22 at the beginning of tlovm in the show #i am still simmering but i love the idea of like percy & someone thinking they know each other sooo well #holding hands #stealing kisses when no one is looking #so on & so forth #but when they reuinite it is harder than it's ever been before #like there still being an inherent familiarality with one another but things are different #they are more tired #angrier witht he world #trying to see the paths ahead of them while still trying to grapple with what has already passed #i will go insane for this plot do not fucking test me

[orcelito]

Over a year without playing a sudoku and yet when i spring for hard (while sleep deprived, mind you) I get 8 mins first try.

"Hard", they call it. Sure.

#speculation nation #the iq thing is some bs lmao. but honestly they make it insanely easy #smth this one does that the last app i used didnt do. it vibrates in warning if i try to mark smth that doesnt work #like i accidentally marked a possible 6 in a row that already had a 6 #which. honestly that feels Too easy. like just let me make my mistakes. i'll figure it out in time. #but yeah theres honestly no point in playing anything less than hard. bc even a 'hard' really is pretty simple #i'd go for an expert but with how numb my brain is rn id probably just fuck it up lmao #sudoku is fun tho. i missed this. #i wonder if i could find those massive like 4/16 block ones. where it moves into letters to extend the values you can do #now THOSE are hard. values 1-9 and letters a-g. i think. grid of 4x4 blocks. 4x4 overall grid. so 16 box long rows and columns #when the normal sudoku is 3x3 and 9 long. 3x3 is just so fucking easy lmao. 4x4 gives me an actual CHALLENGE and i want it #....not rn tho. it'd probs just fry my brain lol

[samarecharm]

Rotation was so abhorrent im actually going to go to turf to cool down

#chattin #SO bad #never in my life have i wanted to smash my controller against my desk #this was. never this frustrated in my life LMAO #like how did that happen? last night was not this bad!!! #this is the ONLY map i cant get a badge on #hazard level 165% and we still lost oh my god #all the idiots are at this level #someone had 2 kills in three waves and 5 eggs put in #what the fuck are u even doing #what are u doing in the game #bc ur hands are NOT on the controller im sure #it doesnt help that this map is just impossible for some people #its the most demanding map wrt ‘u need to kill shit’ #and people who dont kill shit get steamrolled #how are u even at the same rank as me 😭😭😭 #i think also. people dont know how to use hydra #so while its like an insanely good weapon #no one knows how to make it work. so theyre just dead weight on tbe team until they swap out #to which i say. why are u playing the rotation if u cant use the weapon #to slight me specifically. to make me cry real tears. i know it.

[alittleemo]

MAAM. please decide if you want these people to die in a building fire or not.

#architecture is driving me insane #last class she was like you need to put in more fire stairs its too far to the stairs it cant be over 75 feet to a stair #so i put in more stairs !! and made everything escapable !! bc that is understandable !! #and now shes like hmm i think youre fine with just one stair otherwise it makes your building ineffecient #which. 1 OBVIOUSLY. these buildings are stupidly shaped and i regret it everyday #and 2. they would DIE if there was a fire !! did we not discuss last time that was too far !! what do you want from me !! #anyway im being dramatic but genuinely how am i supposed to put a fire rated concrete block stair in a glass building #and have it not look ugly and out of place. obviously it will girl. anyway. #lee's bullshit #i shit you not im about to have to add a FIFTH stair case. this building isnt even that big its just too long. fuck me.