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#ofc the answer is that i was a baby lesbian getting even less social interaction than normal
mossflower
·
6 months
Text
loki season two has me screaming crying throwing up trying not to get dragged back into the mcu trenches
#i am stronger than this. i am better than this!!
#by the trenches i mean consuming fanfiction at an unhealthy rate. fourteen year old me was insane i think i was on ao3 more than i slept
#that’s not exaggeration. i was getting four hours of sleep on school nights and frequently went to bed at 5am on weekends
#it is ONE good story. one. literally not worth it. i don’t even care about ninety percent of the mcu characters
#i will ignore the little voice in my head reminding of the sheer amount of fanfiction. this was my pre-tumblr days
#so my fandom interaction was like. youtube and ao3. maybe instagram posts sometimes. it was so much fun like. zero drama zero discourse
#i was honestly living my best life. got less interested when i joined tumblr and went full doctor who mode
#and after endgame i watched i think wandavision and loki and that was it. just didnt care anymore lol
#i know exactly why this is happening tho. currently the thing i am insane about is my own damn project. which i am in the process of writin
#for obvious reasons no fandom there. bc it lives in my mind twenty four fucking seven
#i do wonder if i’m kind of growing away from fandom anyway? the closest i’ve got since toh ended was homestuck tbh
#i want to feel obsessed with something again!! everything i’m into now - tma tlt and the like - i love them
#but it doesnt hit like it used to. i don’t know it’s hard to explain
#like video essays that i would have loved a few years ago!! the hour long ones about representation and queer media
#they just irritate me now! i got halfway through one last week and had to bail i just could not care less
#how did 2020 social media have me convinced that x character being gay was super important politically economically socially etc
#ofc the answer is that i was a baby lesbian getting even less social interaction than normal
#like representation is important obviously but also. sometimes it was not that deep
#i don’t know if i’m making sense tbh but you get my drift
#morganposting
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