#<< i still don't have an actual tag. this is unacceptable

[fushigurro]

Robin because I’m obsessed with your harem, i need to know

If you were to tell them to suck each other off to find out… how many actually would

obsessed with my lil old harem??? omg stop ily <33

this scenario is so funny and amazing to me!!

satoru absolutely would even tho he's already convinced he's the biggest. he just likes to be gay and do crimes and wants everyone else to see how big it is for themselves.

jean initially refuses because he thinks it's ridiculous, but being the competitive (and bisexual) monster he is, begrudgingly decides to partake.

the fushiguros are not entertained by this notion. megumi doesn't want anyone to know it, but he's shy. he's more into the one-on-one or potentially three-way intimacy with trusted others.

toji's not shy (he'd whip it out as a display of dominance), he just knows there's no competition. (except... with satoru, there actually kind of is). he might potentially be roped into it once that challenge is presented.

yuuta and vash would do it just to make everyone happy 😭😭 they are the self-sacrificing, low self-esteem cum dumps who need therapy </3

the whole thing makes belphie feel insecure so he just wants to stomp off to his and nagi's bedroom and sulk. nagi joins because he doesn't care and it's too much of a hassle... unless the little competitive side of his brain gets activated. (he has a third leg)

tanjiro and suga think this is unhealthy and unnecessary! they are actively trying to shut it down (tho suga might tease everyone a bit at first for funsies)

denki is nervous but also excited. he's down to bisexually clown. he's insecure but also has something nice to say about everyone.

shoto is not inclined to participate as long as he doesn't go into one of his daddy issues "i need to prove myself" episodes.

#letters. #moot: leigh #temporary harem tag #<< i still don't have an actual tag. this is unacceptable #also i'm not adding katsuki because then that shit becomes real <3 #i'm not allowed to have any more boyfriends i need to be cut off

[menlove]

honestly i think a HUGE part of the issue is that most of the left doesn't really understand antisemitism

after wwii it became wildly Unpopular to be blatantly antisemitic. obviously, it still happened. but the result of this is that instead of antisemitism being studied as a historical and pervasive form of oppression that has been around for thousands of years & has many many precedents BEFORE the holocaust.... it became:

something just simply Rude to say or do. if you're a polite liberal/conservative or a leftist, it's just something that is socially unacceptable. there is no real weight to this.

something when FIRMLY believed is ONLY held by people like nazis and white supremacists. who, as we know, are The Enemy and none of us can ever be like them at all ever by the virtue of... not being them. no need to watch your own behaviors, bc you are not a nazi! only nazis could ever be Actually antisemitic

something that erupted out of the ground in germany in the early 20th century, culminated with the holocaust, and ended after. antisemitism did not exist before that and it was solved after when the saving grace of the united states and england liberated the jews from the nazis out of the goodness of their hearts

however absolutely none of this is true. antisemitism stretches back thousands of years and it has not, for the most part, been only "fringe" conspiracy theorists and white supremacists who perpetuate it

antisemitism has been, by and large, presented as very logical. throughout, again, the thousands of years of history of antisemitism, very regular people have been antisemites. and most of them had reasons they felt were perfectly logical and understandable and most of all just. jews were trying to kill their children, of course they hated them! jews were purposefully trying to keep them poor, of course they hated them! jews believed Wrong Things and were morally and spiritually corrupt, of course there was something wrong with them. jews betrayed their country, lost them a war that ended with their husbands and brothers and sons dead, and now were living among them and taking advantage of social benefits out of the goodness of the hearts of the german people, of COURSE they hated them! and the nazis themselves were backed up by science at the time. scientific racism was THE science at the time. charles darwin was a scientific racist. it was all very logical.

and did jews actually do these things? no. but these people saw enough proof that aligned well enough with their morals and their beliefs and their fears & so to them it was completely logical and justified. it wasn't a fringe theory that only an insane person would believe in, or something impolite. it was true to them. to their morals, to their fears, to their core beliefs. it was true.

and so now we see a LOT. a lot of leftists being dragged ass first into antisemitism. because they don't even think they CAN be antisemitic. THEY aren't nazis and THEY aren't white supremacists, of COURSE they aren't antisemitic. but... well. the jews are doing things that go against their morals. they're doing things that validate their fears. the jews are violating things that go against their core beliefs! so of COURSE it is LOGICAL that they should hate them. of course, it is still rude to say "the jews are evil" so it gets replaced with "zionist". (and before you ask yes i am anti-zionism and do deeply believe what israel is doing is unjust and cruel) but even that is slipping.

it is getting all the more popular to go that one step further and instead of just making posts like "spam the hanukkah tag because the Zionists need to learn what their religion stands for" that are blatantly just replacing "jews" with "zionists", they are logically moving to being mask off. if zionism is wrong and half the world's remaining jewish population lives in israel, what about the rest? aren't they suspect? would they not ALL commit atrocities if given the chance? aren't they all racist for believing they're an ethnicity? aren't they all complicit? aren't they all threatening our deeply held leftist beliefs? it's a little weird and everyone has been too quiet for too long bc it's been rude to say but now you can get 300k notes for posting blood libel so why would you keep quiet anymore?

why WOULDN'T you just say "thank god someone finally said it i was worried about stepping on toes" when someone makes a post full of antisemitic conspiracy theory. why WOULDN'T you say "i don't care if all of israel gets bombed and every single person dies after this lmfao they deserve it"? (which would wipe out, again, half the world's population of jews- many of whom living there are anti-zionist and actively protesting their government. or. you know. children.) why WOULDN'T you make posts about how jewish identity is just nazi aryanism? why wouldn't you make posts about how the jews are privileged in america bc they run hollywood and the economy? why WOULDN'T you say the star of david is a hate symbol to you now and that you mistrust anyone using it? or that you find anyone speaking hebrew suspect?

these are all perfectly logical. to you. and YOU are not a nazi or a white supremacist. so it can't be antisemitic.

#antisemitism #long post #yall are just fucking exhausting and im going to go on a blocking spree in a moment but truly and deeply #just fucking think for two seconds about what you say

[huskersbooze]

Helloo! Can i Request an alastor x reader angst? (I love angst im sorry😭) where reader n alastor are good friends, but soon alastor starts catching feelings, he didn’t like that so he starts ignoring reader hoping it’ll go away, but when alastor realizes it doesn’t, he wanted to apologize for ignoring reader and maybe confessing, but he couldn’t cause he found out reader got redeemed into heaven? Please and thank you!!

A/N : Oh fuck yes I'm a sucker for angst. This is actually a really interesting concept! Completely opposite to my other fic where Reader ignores Al. Thank you for the ask <3

Alastor Doesn't Do Feelings

Alastor x Reader

Pairing : Alastor x F!Reader (M!Reader here, Gn!Reader here)

Warnings : Cusing(what do you expect? It's Hazbin Hotel)

Additional Tags : Angst, no use of (Y/n), use of dear/darling

Word count : 1.25k

It was never supposed to turn out this way. Alastor, the fucking Radio Demon, doesn't do feelings.

But here he was, finding himself getting flustered, his cheeks red, ears pinned back and his smile faltering.

And it was all because of you.

"-and so I told him to back the heck away, but I swear his brain can't seem to comprehend simple words! He-"

You went on and on about your day, but Alastor could only focus on the close proximity between the two of you and your hand came so close to brushing his every minute or so.

"Alastor! Freaking hell!" He snapped out of his trance when he heard you yell his name.

He cleared his throat, quickly gathering himself once more, "Yes, darling?"

"Were you even listening to me?"

"Of course, I was." Which, frankly, was a lie.

"Just go to bed, dipshit."

"I don't need sleep."

"Your brain is hijacked, Al." You try to give his ears a scratch. Alastor attempts a dodge but fails. "See? You can't even dodge a simple pet on the head."

"I let you do that."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"Darling, you know I don't sleep."

"It was an expression, babe."

He knew you meant it as a joke, a light-humoured name you called him; like how he called you "dear" or "darling".

But he couldn't help the blush that found a way to his face.

"Alastor! You're doing it again!"

"I beg your pardon?" He snaps out from his trance.

"You're dozing off again. Are your radio parts radio-ing properly?"

"I'm not an actual radio, my dear."

"Well, you sure act like a broken down machine." You let out a giggle, him doing the same, but it ultimately sounded like he was buffering.

"You need help." You get up and give him another ruffle behind the ears, catching him off guard. "G'night, Al."

He doesn't respond.

He's too busy screaming internally.

-----

Alastor doesn't do feelings. Yet, here he was a broken mess because of you.

No, this was unacceptable. All he'd work for. His reputation. The danger it'd put you in.

He couldn't afford any of that gone — especially not you.

How was he to get rid of this weird churning he gets in his stomach when you near, though? How was he to stop loving you?

-----

Alastor doesn’t do feelings. He nearly did, once, because of you. But he’d found a way to stop it.

Or so, he thought.

“Good morning, Al.”

Out of everyone in the hotel, you were the one person he could tolerate. Despite your polar interests and behaviour, Alastor actually found it quite enjoyable to be by your side.

Sure, you rarely cursed, was so sweet and couldn’t bare the thought of killing, but Alastor never minded. You were the one person he looked forward to seeing everyday. He would usually only talk to you.

“Husker, may I have a word?” Yet, here Alastor was, completely ignoring your existence like you were some irrelevant imp a few rings down.

“Uh, sure, boss.” Husk sends you a questioning stare as you return the favour.

He didn’t actually have anything to say to him; it just hurt to see you. The feelings still lingered and he couldn’t do jackshit about it. 

Staying away from you was only supposed to get rid of his feelings, not intensify them.

“Alastor?” Yet, your voice captivated him in every way possible and his desire to be yours increased.

He simply left the room, and the two of you never spoke after that.

-----

“Alastor doesn’t do feelings, honey.”

“I know, Rosie! But we’re just friends and he knows that.” You take a sip from the tea Rosie prepared for you. “Though, lately, he’s been completely disregarding my presence like I’m the bane of his existence.”

“Don’t look too much into it! I’m sure it’s nothing. It’s just Alastor being Alastor.”

“But it’s not.” You sigh. “Something’s changed between us and I’m not sure what it is.”

“Well, did anything specific happen?”

“I.. I don’t know.” Your voice cracks at the agony. “I just.. Everything was fine that night. I just told him to sleep and the next morning it’s like I never existed.”

“Hm. That does sound odd.”

“Exactly! And I’m not sure what to do or if- if I’ve angered him- or- or maybe he’s sick of me-”

“Honey, breathe.” Rosie’s hand finds yours across the table as she rubs soothing circles on the back of your palm. “It’s in his nature to be sending mixed signals. Just give him time. He’ll come to terms with you eventually.”

“Are.. Are you sure?”

“You came to me for a reason.” She jokes, though her warm smile never left her face.

“Thank you, Rosie.”

-----

Alastor, your beloved strawberry pimp, doesn’t do feelings. He didn’t, he doesn’t and he won’t.

At least, that was before he realised he was catching feelings for you.

He’s tried so hard to ignore it. He’s done everything he could to ignore you, but despite his best efforts, you still found a way to float straight back into his mind.

“Alastor?”

“Yes, darling?” It took him a while to comprehend the fact he accidentally called Husk “darling”. His mind was just filled with thoughts of you.

“Uh.. anyways.” Husk cleared his throat. “You were close with the kid, right?”

“I suppose.” He shrugs, saying it as a matter of fact-ly. “Nothing serious.”

Alastor nearly flinched as he said it himself. 

Nothing serious.

But in fact, it was starting to get serious. He was in love with you, head-over-heels obsessed, but he couldn’t come to terms with the fact and decided to push you away.

Fuck. What was he thinking?

“Yes, well I just.. wanted to let ya’ know she’s-”

“In a minute, Husker.” He says, taking off and trying to find you. He had to apologize. He had to talk to you and explain himself. But then, that would mean he had to confess.

Confess. Alastor’s smile widened as he thought of the idea. Blush crept from his face all the way down to his neck and his tail was uncontrollably wagging under his coat.

He loved you.

Turns out, Alastor does, and will do feelings.

-----

“Husker, have you seen her?” After a whole day of looking around the hotel, he couldn’t seem to find you anywhere. 

“Her?” He asks, then immediately realising there could only be one her. “I was trying to tell you, boss. The kid.. The kid passed.”

“What?” His smile falters, eyes twitching, but still keeping his composure.

“Some drunk ass dude got hold of an angelic weapon from the last extermination. She was stabbed on her way back from cannibal town.”

The static in his ears were ringing louder by the second. This wasn’t supposed to happen. No, it wasn’t supposed to end like this. He was only supposed to get rid of his feelings, not you.

This whole plan backfired. It was a mistake. He kept what he hadn’t wanted, and lost what he desired.

-----

Alastor doesn’t do feelings.

He does, but only for you. He keeps his heart closed in hopes you’re still somewhere out there.

Any other demon who tries to get with him, ultimately gets turned down.

Alastor doesn’t do feelings, no; but he does feelings. He saves the romantic kind for you. The platonic ones, however, are open doors now because of you.

Alastor didn��t do feelings, but he does now — in hopes he gets redeemed and can find you in heaven.

———[ End. ]———

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #alastor #hazbin hotel season 1 #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbinhotel #hazbin hotel 2024 #alastor hazbin #alastor altruist #alastor fluff #alastor headcanons #alastor x reader #alastor x you #radio demon #alastor angst #hazbin hotel rosie #angel reader #alastor has a tail #alastor has a heart

[eboni-napalm]

(this didn't happen to me recently but it did to someone I know in a self-ship Discord server I'm in so I'm making a post on this because it needs to be said AGAIN.) - (long rant incoming, tw for mention of s*****e)

Hey, self-shippers- yes, ALL OF YOU, because we ALL need to crack down on this and do better- there's probably quite a few of us, if not a lot of us, that don't like sharing some of our F/O's, and that's okay.

However, what's NOT FUCKING OKAY is GOING INTO THE INBOX OR DM'S OF A USER WHO SHARES AN F/O WITH YOU THAT YOU'RE NOT COMFORTABLE SHARING AND CALLING THEM NAMES/SLURS, TELLING THEM THEY'LL NEVER LOVE THAT PERSON, AND/OR THEN SAYING THEY SHOULD ACTUALLY KILL THEMSELVES. What in the actual FUCK is wrong with you? I don't care if you're a minor or an adult in the community, that shit is absolutely disgusting and unacceptable.

We as a whole need to do better about cracking down on this kind of behavior, for real. Self-shipping is a place where people should be able to feel welcome and able to ship themselves with characters they love without having to feel like they have to walk on eggshells just so they don't incur the wrath of others who think it's okay to treat others like this. This shouldn't be what people imagine when they think of self-shippers, but a few bad apples will bring our image down and make it to where no one wants to even joke about interacting with us.

To those self-shippers who are not okay or comfortable sharing your F/O's in whatever way- if you come across someone who shares one of those characters with you, instead of pulling shit like that (especially on anon, you spineless cowards), either just block the person without saying anything if you don't interact or have never interacted with them, or if it's someone you know/are on good terms with, kindly inform them not to talk about that F/O in personal interactions or have them tag posts with a certain tag so you can block that tag and hide them from your view so you don't have to see them. There's ways around everything here that avoids being an asshole to people and they're not that difficult to do.

I want to be proud to be part of this community as someone who's in it, not ashamed of it because of instances like this; even if they don't happen very often, they still happen, and they shouldn't. We can do better, we can be better.

Spread love, not hate. Please. ❤️

#self ship rant #self shipping rant #tw: long post #tw: sui mention #self ship #self shipper #self shipping #self ship community #self shipping community #romantic f/o #platonic f/o #familial f/o

[fbfh]

older!logan x reader hcs

wc: 1.6k

genre: age gap, sort of sugar daddy logan

warnings: big (but legal) age gap, logan is early 40s reader is like early 20s, brief odette mention, logan is a killer lawyer, rory kinda traumatized Logan lol, I haven't finished gilmore girls or ayitl yet so don't come for me lol, logan is obsessedddddddd with reader, mildly smutty, mentions of marriage and proposals, your relationship progresses really quickly

summary: you were reading in a coffee shop when a charming gorgeous much older guy decided to strike up a conversation. little do you know that within a very short time that same charming stranger will know your dress size, your shoe size, and your ring size.

song rec: off to the races - lana del rey

a/n: the choke hold older logan has on me..... euthanize me at this point lmao

tags @yesv01 @magcon7280

As with all nsfw works, all characters are aged up to 18+ (like way over 18 in logan’s case lol)

That being said jesus christ let’s dive right into the brain rot

First things first, a little more about Logan

He’s in his early 40’s and aging like a fine goddamn wine

MEGA MEGA dilf vibes

After the whole millions of dollars sunken into a bad investment in his family’s massive media conglomerate mishap, he still faced a lot of pressure to join the family business

But with Rory rejecting his proposal, he felt so fucking down and beaten up by life

He just had two massive blows to his ego back to back

And he needed a win

Then the strangest thing happened 

He just got back from another late night of partying with his friends and switched on the tv so he wouldn’t have to fall asleep with his thoughts, and some random movie was playing

The girl in the movie is at dinner with her boyfriend and thinks he’s going to propose, but he breaks up with her instead

It hits a little too close to home and Logan’s about to switch it off

Then she decides to go to law school to prove herself

He finds himself getting more and more invested in this movie, relating more to Elle with every scene, and by the morning he confronts the idea he’s been shoving away for too long so he doesn’t rock the boat

He talks to his dad and they decide Logan will go to law school, but remain a prominent board member and shareholder of the family company

Mitchum is surprised by how responsible and well thought out Logan’s plan is

He’s forging a path to a very lucrative field - one Mitchum can tell he’s going to be very successful in - while still staying involved enough in the family business 

So Logan goes off to law school, and 20 years later he’s a total shark 

He’s a prestigious, expensive lawyer with a reputation for never losing and a long streak of killing it with really high profile cases

Now the Huntzberger name carries all the weight and power of his father’s media reach, and Logan’s success in the courtroom 

He’s excelling 

And he’s excelling enough to keep his family out of his personal life for a while 

He’s living the bachelor life until he hits 40

That’s when his parents decide it’s really unacceptable that he’s still not married 

So they tell him if he doesn’t get married soon they’ll arrange something

Some french heiress or something 

And Logan finds himself right back where he didn’t want to be

And then, like a gift from god, he sees you

Like I said in my initial drabble, Logan first saw you in a cafe reading some dusty novel no one actually reads like war and peace or crime and punishment or something

He's seen people your age do that before, reading complicated stuffy literature to seem smart and make some pretentious English class commentary that barely makes sense 

So he calls you on it

"War and Peace, huh?"

He’s expecting you to say something fake and pretentious

Some bullshit fake deep pseudo intellectual shit

But you look up at him, only pausing for a moment before you speak

You’re surprised to see such a gorgeous guy in a little cafe like this

Especially one that seems interested in talking to you

And god, the way you talk about it

The way your eyes light up

It takes him by surprise

He's not just interested

He's invested 

You start talking and realize that you've been talking for way longer than you expected to

And he wants more

He wants to know more about you, wants to see you sweet smile and hear your cute little laugh when he says something charming or compliments you

So he takes you out to dinner, his treat 

He guides you out the door and into his Porsche with his hand on your back 

It's a subtle gesture but it makes your stomach flip 

Then he buckles your seat belt for you

If you weren't sold before you sure are by now 

So he takes you to this nice fancy restaurant, wines and dines you, and he is laying on the charm thick

"Oh, come on. A pretty young thing like you must have a boyfriend."

"Really, you have excellent taste.”

You don’t miss the way he’s been eyeing you all night

And he doesn’t miss the way you squeeze your thighs together when he touches your face or plays with your fingers

One thing leads to another and after he pays the bill and leaves a generous tip, you find him ushering you back into his porsche

And yet again he closes your door for you and gets you all buckled in

This time when he drives his hand rests on your knee

He thinks he can handle this

He’s the biggest whore on the east coast /affectionate 

Then you grab his hand and move it up your thigh

There’s no going back now

He’s in just as deep as you are

Before you know it you’re tearing off each other’s clothes

His lips are all over you and motherfucker does he know what he’s doing

He worried for a moment he might have lost his edge

But as he lays you down into his big soft bed, your skin touching his silky sheets for the first time

But definitely not the last

As he finally touches you and feels how wet you are for him

He knows he didn’t peak in college

“Shh, listen,” he says between kisses that make you feel dizzy, “you’re gonna tell me if it’s too much for you, can you do that?”

You nod while he holds your face in his big hands

“You gotta say it,” he chuckles at how sweet you are, how well you respond to him, “use your words, baby…” 

You manage to choke out a desperate yes between kisses that makes his stomach twist

And that is the very beginning to your intense affair with Logan Huntzberger 

He’s desperate to see you again

He sends flowers and a dress and a gorgeous necklace to your apartment

And not the normal amount of flowers

The Logan amount of flowers

So a lot

And you can’t believe your luck finding a hot rich older guy that’s so into you 

You really like this attention

Your daddy issues are SCREAMING

And Logan likes having someone as gorgeous and intelligent and into him as you are

And he wants to do this right

But he’s rapidly approaching the deadline his family set

He doesn’t want to scare you off

GOD that’s the last thing he wants

But he is terrified of proposing and having it end up like it did the last time

Eventually he works up the nerve to talk to you about it 

He’s explaining everything to you while you pay your bills 

But it says they’re already paid

And your credit cards are paid off

And your debt has just disappeared

Even your student loans are gone

And there’s a fat deposit in your checking account 

He paid off all your debt and didn’t tell you

By the time he’s done explaining that you basically either need to get married asap or you can’t see each other anymore he still hasn’t brought it up

And you realize he’s not going to

He didn’t pay your bills to guilt you into anything

He’s not holding it over your head

He’s taking care of you

And all you’ve ever wanted is someone who will take care of you

Logan is surprised when you agree

But he’s even more surprised at how fast you agree

You sit in his lap and end up rambling about how much you love him, how you don’t think you’ll ever find anyone you like as much as him or anyone that treats you as well as he does

To no one’s surprise the conversation ends with him taking you on every surface of your apartment

Hours later you’re cuddling naked on your couch, resting your head on his muscular chest and listening to his heartbeat

“So like… are we engaged now?” you ask looking up at him

He laughs sweetly

“No, not yet. I have to actually propose first.”

You think back to your conversation earlier when you first said you’d want to marry him

“So that didn’t count before?”

His heart breaks at how little you ask for

“No, that didn’t count.” He kisses your head, “I’m going to take you out somewhere nice, give you a proper proposal, with a nice ring.”

You get butterflies thinking about it

You can’t believe how much he does for you

How much he wants to do for you 

You’re quiet for a moment, and he can feel you smiling into his chest

“...Okay.” 

Your voice is so small and bashful, and he can hear you suppressing a flustered giggle

Fuck he can’t get enough of you 

He laughs and pulls you closer, grabbing your chin and makes you look up at him so he can kiss you 

You fall asleep in his arms

And you think that you won’t mind being married so young if it’s Logan you’re marrying

Logan is looking at you with so much love and adoration

And right before he falls asleep 

He thinks that maybe it’s not too late for him to find love after all

#logan huntzberger #logan huntzberger x reader #gilmore girls #gilmore girls x reader #logan huntzberger smut #gilmore girls smut #older husband!logan #older boyfriend!logan #older!logan #sugar daddy!logan #euthanize me #he's just #so #very #hm. #he's so #just #yeah #you get it #we're all like this after reading that lmao

[autolenaphilia]

So I do literally have my pronouns in bio. Now it should not be a requirement or anything. If you don't want to put your pronouns in bio, don't put them there, and I'm totally okay with that.

I didn't put pronouns in bio until my egg cracked because I was uncomfortable with the thought, turns out I was uncomfortable with gendering myself for a reason.

But if someone does put pronouns in bio, if they are easily accessible, I do think you have the responsibility to respect them. It feels like a fairly basic social media courtesy. To do otherwise is textbook misgendering.

Of course I presume here you are not a transphobe who thinks misgendering is okay or even obligatory (as some of them explicitly claim). If you are, fuck off, i'm not that interested in litigating my value as a human being or my status as a woman. My assumption here is that misgendering is bad and I don't particularly need to establish why.

Referring to someone by the wrong pronouns when said person has made their pronoun preference very clear, there is no other word for it but misgendering. In fact, misgendering someone with their pronouns in bio on social media is often less excusable than many accidental misgenderings in meatspace, because we often don't make our pronoun preferences that clear and obvious in meatspace.

it does take a few seconds to check the bio of a social media user, but being polite and courteous sometimes requires effort, which is not a blanket excuse to be rude. If it is too much effort to look it up before writing something about someone, then save all your effort and just don't write anything at all.

And using singular they/them about a specific person is misgendering, if said person has made their non-they/them preference clear, by for example putting their actual pronouns in their bio. You are not being "genderneutral", you are just misgendering and being rude.

This is a well known tactic of transphobic misgendering. Like if a writer wrote an article about Chelsea Manning and consistently they/themed her, the fact that said writer is a transmisogynist who is misgendering her wouldn't be in much dispute. They/them is often just the acceptable form of misgendering.

And also "dude/bro/man" are not genderneutral, I will barely dignify such nonsense with a response.

Being gendered correctly is not a privilege of the famous either. This applies even if the person in question is a random tumblr user and you are another random tumblr user writing about them. You should check their bio before writing about them. You should especially check if that person is likely going to read what you write, if it is a reply or tags to a post they made. It's not nice to get misgendering of you in your notifications. This feels like fairly basic courtesy on social media.

Failure to check is at best rude and impolite, and people have a right to object to being misgendered. And then ask for a correction and an apology. And really, all you have to say in such a situation, is something like "I'm sorry, I didn't check" and then maybe correct the misgendering post by editing it. Unless you are really committed to being able to misgender people without pushback, it's likely not the end of the world, and the person being misgendered will likely accept a sincere apology.

And this applies even if you don't like the person in question, if you are writing something that disagrees with their take. Being gendered correctly is not something that you have to earn, it's not a privilege for good behavior, of having the correct takes, of never making a mistake. And it can't be taken away for perceived and real transgressions. It is still unacceptable to misgender an unpleasant person.

Pronouns in a social media bio are not there for a person's friends, it's there so that random strangers interacting with a person's account will hopefully read them and gender the person correctly. The pronouns are there for you to read and respect.

(before anyone tries to be clever on the reading incomprehension website, , I'm using a generic singular they/them in most of these sentences. If you are talking about a specific person, who uses she/her or he/him or any pronouns that aren't they/them, it's msigendering to use they/them for them)

#my writings #misgendering #degendering #transphobia #transmisogyny #politeness #this post is inspired by people who will write long rants in response to being mildly criticized for misgendering me

[horizon-verizon]

To all the green/Alicent/Aegon/Aemond/Criston stans choosing to follow me of your own free will, make sure you're making the right choice bc you will see stuff that will likely upset you.

No, I do not think Rhaenyra was a whore or that her sexuality somehow makes or breaks her inherent moral character (this is a patriarchal invention that places more power in men over women's behavior bc as long as they have the political and legal advantage over women [as what has happened in many societies for millennia] it compels women to conform their overall behavior towards not even seeming to resemble the man's/larger developed ideas of "slut" rather than develop herself or have her own fun). And if a man can still be a good leader while having sex outside of marriage, if we truly look at woman as equal and inherently equal to men no matter the time period or place, then we should consider the same when women have sex outside of marriage! Reminder: Aegon SA or rapes; Rhanerya never once did that. which goes into my next point...

No, show!Rhaenyra did not SA or really even pressure Criston into sex. I explain why HERE & below form a past ask-post:

No, her first 3 kids were not bastards. "Bastards" only exist in the legal realm to separate a man/lord's and his family's resources/titles to those who carry his "blood". On principle, you shouldn't be accepting the objectification of women that is necessary to this formula, but aside form that, the meaning of bastardy has been subject ot change ust as many social construction, as we se in the Anstey case ands how William the Conqueror's bastardy was more defined as being that his mother was not noble rather than not married to his father. Because bastardry is more a legal phenomena more than anyting, Viserys--who has the only right and power to name anyone as bastard or legitimize them and thus is the final bulwark against the revelation of the boys being not Laenor's kids--was able to accept Rhaenyra's kids as his heir's heirs. Nobles keep secrets all the time for their own conience. Think about Lysa tully and all those rich people of various TV show and movies who cover up both actual harmful crimes as well as just those that would harm their reputation! This is what happens when you have any elite class AND mid-to-very strict social rules of conduct that you may be breaking anyway. And no, noble/royal wives of history weren't all sexually obedient little cupcakes...many had lovers while married and historically, some were even known by their families and husbands. (Check out Eleanor Herman's book Sex with the Queen).

No, Alicent of either thing didn't have any real reason, material reason to think her kids were in danger from Rhaenyra ascending. You can see why under posts tagged "alicent doesnt have any points" as well as this recent thread]

No I do not see Rhaenyra as uniquely "selfish", "'spoiled", etc. I do not make as if she is unacceptably and uniquely evil or the most amoral. That was overall Andal-FM patriarchay, Aenys I, Maegor I, Jaehaerys I, Viserys, and the greens, esp Alicent & Otto. Rhaenyra, of either the shoe or the book, was both trying to do her duty in her marriage as well as find some happiness AND autonomy alongside that. You were not supposed to readopt fedual patriarchal social "values" or prioritize them/social hierarchies over real human happiness, equity, and social harmony. If you have, you don't get ASoIaF!

For fuck sake, some of you like Jon Snow and think he's Azor Ahai! No, he is not legitimate, bc by the time Rhaegar and his generation was alive, polygamy had lost its validity and for any marriage to Lyanna he could have had needed to be reinforced by either force (Maegor) or public declaration or propaganda & deals careful planning (Doctrine of Exceptionalism) something along those lines...which even if we get the story of Rhaegar and Lyanna, we already know no such preparations occurred!

#announcement #the greens #hotd fandom #asoiaf fandom #fandom misogyny #fandom critical #alicent doesnt have any points #westerosi bastards #rhaenyra and feminism

[madameminor]

WHY I DON'T LIKE TECH x PHEE: An unintentional essay

Alright, yall, I've figured it out on my end. I think. I just need to get some of this out so that I can move past it. I'm not even gonna tag it under tech x phee, cause you know what, I don't want to harsh the mellow over in that space, I'm just voicing what I've discovered.

This is long.

Wanda Sykes: I LOOOOOVE Wanda Sykes, love her - love her so much that I can't see anyone else with her voice. A 60 year old lesbian comedian... and you want to make her a 20 something pirate captain flirting with a male cl- no. No. Capital N. O. Like, I thought she and Rhea Perlman were going to be a fun comedic, older duo playing off of each other. Or that they'd have some sort of sassy relationship. But instead she's a coy, fun adventurer who starts to join in TBB family? Nope. No. Didn't sell it for me. Gimme someone else, might have worked. Try Anika Noni Rose, or if you need that star factor, Halle Barry or Beyonce or, for fucks sake LIZZO (can you imagine her beautiful voice as Phee? OOOO I just shivered. Loved her as the Duchess, but her as Phee! Instantly WAAAAY more excited about that character.) Not Wanda Fucking Sykes (like I said, LOVE her. But no. Choices.)

The Build Up: You guys. We are all literally writers. Where were the beats? Where were the moments? You naturally want there to be a moment the audience goes 'ooooooh yeah ok I see it'. IT HAPPENED WITH HUNTER. The next day I remember quite a few of us going 'OMG YES!!! Yes, totally ship that, saw the chemistry with Phee and Hunter! Into iiiiit.' I resisted that one too, cause of the Wanda Sykes thing, but you know what? IT. WORKED. I went with it cause it worked. Was actually kind of excited. Was looking forward to the fics. Did not happen once with Tech, never saw anyone go 'oh look at that chemistry between pirate and genius'. NOPE BTW SUDDENLY THEY'RE ALL TEASING TECH AND TECH AND PHEE ARE IN A SCENE AND THIS IS ALL ABOUT THESE TWO TAH DAAAAH! No. Nope. Not how it works. Feels like my favorite is getting the shitty end of the romance arc stick. Fuck off, no. We have all written better.

Toxic Matchup: The way Phee (see dude, I almost wrote Wanda. Thats how much I can't not see her in this character) treats Tech. One of my mutuals on here, @shadestepping, put it perfectly - "It’s because instead of understanding who tech is as a person and being respectful of how his mind works, she tries to force him to mask because it’s what she wants/it makes communicating with him easier". The example that keeps popping into my head is when Phee sarcastically says "when two people are talking its called a conversation". My eyebrows shot UP, like, this is one of the FIRST THINGS YOU LEARN about Tech- his face is in his datapad. Treating him like an idiot (which is what it sounds like in Wanda voice) because he is doing what he is always doing is not ok (seriously, WTF, dude?). Another mutual, @dumfanting agreed and shared how that hit them: "As someone whose been forced to mask for her entire life, that is wrong and damaging and perpetuates the idea that we as austitics are only worthy of love if we continue to suppress ourselves." And it really doesn't have to be that way. I can rewrite every scene they are in together, still have her be sassy, have her show interest and respect for who he is, and still move him out of his comfort zone. I will do it, if I need to, just to prove it. If the writers are trying to give her some growth too, cool, then TAKE THE TIME TO DO THAT - instead we only hear how HE's being taken out of his comfort zone. How about HER? You want to be with him? Maybe you have to meet him half way, honey

Ultimately, I could have gotten behind this if it was done another way - but the way they went about it missed so many marks. And for my man, that's unacceptable to me. He deserves the best, not something thrown together.

I have spoken.

(Ok, I think that is out of my system.)

#kind of geek therapy #geek therapy for me #cause expressing thoughts and feelings appropriately are good for me #tbb tech #the bad batch

[acourtofthought]

It genuinely made me laugh out loud! “Shadows disappearing is confirmed good by HOFAS!” I was confused at first thinking when tf did that happen.. and then had a chuckle when I realized they were talking about Ruhn.

I typically stay out of the subreddit, and have their tags blocked on here, but I was curious to see what theories or hints they gathered from HOFAS. Seems like the bulk of it is:

- ruhnlidia “parallel” confirms mate language for e/riel from the bonus (or something like that, I’ve forgotten which precise passage they warped).

- stone mother song is about elain (vast stretch, seems punitive to focus on the song and not everything else that happened in that scene). And is so fucking interesting because that’s a bonus chapter and they’re still claiming BC aren’t canon/down voting when you point out they are. Can’t seem to make up their minds !

- today show article & interview about fans expecting the story to be Az & Elain, and SJM saying there’s a lot to explore in a rejected bond. The first is whatever imo, and the second they seem convinced is about them but I’m more convinced it’ll be Eris & Mor. Admittedly, Helion & LoA is another possibility more likely than e/riel, but their story breaks my heart already and I desperately want them to have HEA

Are there any other arguments you’ve seen/heard of? I’m curious what you think of these three as well!

🧼💖

The Stone Mother argument being about E/riel is just bonkers to me. First off, we have no idea if the song itself is actually based off Native American legend or whether SJM just liked the name. But to take a Paiute legend and claim it about a white women's love story is very cringe to me. I agree with you, I think the rejected bond is going to be Eris and Mor and the effects of an unaccepted bond will be Helion and the LoA. I could see them eventually getting together but for the last however many centuries, they do seem to be an example of a "rejected" bond. And you're right, they have selected very specific lines from the interviews and articles while ignoring the rest. First SJM said she only asks herself those same questions when writing. Is there choice? Is it destiny? What if it's wrong? But she's already written that into the series, where the characters wonder how it happens, is there choice, etc. And every time, the characters have said that it doesn't matter because at the end of the day they still chose one another. Bryce confirms that it didn't matter where her bond with Hunt came from or who it was determined by because it's what she wanted. Nesta struggled with the mating bond because it meant giving up her humanity but in the end she decided she wanted Cassian as her mate. They take that to mean SJM is proving to the reader that she's definitely going to write a rejected bond for two main characters when all she's saying is she makes sure to have the characters ask themselves the important questions so in the end they know without a doubt it's what they wanted and not just something decided by fate. But they ignore SJM saying that characters end up with who they need to be with for the most growth. How her MMC cheer on the FMC and encourage her. These things clearly go against the E/riel narrative but they conveniently leave those quotes out of their arguments. The one big argument I heard going around during the release was how the Cauldron was corrupted therefore Elucien's bond is. So basically.....an event that happened 15,000 years ago and in all that time the ONLY corrupted bond to come out of it was Elucien's? That's quite convenient, don't you think? There is also zero proof that the Cauldron or the Daglan were responsible for mating bonds. So yeah, I imagine all these theories will end up in the graveyard of E/riel theories along with Bread and Roses meaning that E/riel are living together and pregnant in CC3.

[dreamonbaby]

I heard I can fo it with a broken heart on the radio

And aside from the chorus being kinda awkward (I'm so depressed I act like it my birTHHHdaayyyyyYY)

I think this whole 'i sold you a lie you think I'm doing well but I'm not but I'm killing it so I'm a #girlboss try come for my job' is so embarassing

Because everything shes done over this last year I've thought 'theres a woman doing real bad'

Like I'm not trying to dispute the effort and energy that goes into touring like she does, but a lot of her decisions both professional and personally have made me think uh oh

Its giving 'could a depressed person do this?' But it's about dating the worst men on the planet and looking like shes going to cry on stage half the time

💌 come talk to me, a veteran swiftie in the anti- tag in the same way that martin luther still thought himself catholic

where i land with it lyrically is in conversation with four songs: "mirrorball" from folklore, "nothing new" from red TV, and two other ttpd tracks, "who's afraid of little old me" and "clara bow"

per the long pond sessions, she wrote "mirrorball" partially about COVID's effect on touring ("and they called off the circus, burned the disco down / when they sent home the horses and the rodeo clowns"). pair that with the much discussed WAOLOM asylum line and... it might be because she says "circus," it might be that while i have no personal experience of involuntary hospitalization i Do have basic empathy, but i think of the two great blond celebrity memoirs of the last few years: britney spears' the woman in me and jeannette mccurdy's i'm glad my mom died. which is all to say, she doesn't Have to do it with a broken heart! actually! "the asylum where they raised me" sounds like her pursuit of fame was coerced by say, a stage mom or an abusive contract or monetary need (it wasn't), if she was in an urgent health crisis like ICDIWABH suggests ("even when you wanna die"), she has all the power to postpone or cancel dates. she's not in a conservatorship, she's not being Made to tour; i can imagine feeling obligated to pay the hundreds of people it employs, but she is an actual billionaire, i think she can afford blue cross blue shield PPO plans for a militia. you can interpret "all the pieces of me shattered while the crowd was chanting 'more!'" as resenting the audience, but there's other performers in smaller venues with less freedom and power who need to be onstage to afford food. idk.

then there's the "try and come for my job:" extremely vague as to who is coming for it, and the popular reading is of other pop stars on tour. "clara bow" is my favorite track on ttpd by a long shot in part because it feels like a more mature version of "nothing new;" it's a little kinder to the ingenue and seems to respect her predecessors, recognize that She was the ingenue once, but it does not match up to her actual conduct in public. this is where i become very asian, but besides her being uhhh... pretty drunk at the grammys this year, i think her behavior is more a symptom of white american culture as egoistic and ahistorical—this is the kamala harris "you think you fell out of a coconut tree" meme, yes, but more broadly my complaint is filial piety. acting up in front of the likes of celine dion and tracy chapman and joni mitchell, especially on a night that celebrates all three of them, is absolutely unacceptable to me. they're your elders, they paved the path you're on (nothing new: "she'll know the way, and then she'll say she got the map from me"), but her teenage fans who've never heard any other music don't know or accept that she Isn't actually the progenitor of acclaimed women singer-songwriters

she wants to be seen as a "cool big sister" mentor to younger pop girls or boosting indie acts like boygenius, but afaik she herself hasn't shared the stage with an older female musician since alanis morrissette as a surprise guest on the 1989 tour. sure, she showed up to induct carole king to the rock 'n roll hall of fame, with a solo stage. but as much as people first cringed at luke combs' "fast car" cover, he acquitted himself with his grammy performance. there is true reverence there. if taylor brings stevie nicks (who wrote a poem?? for the ttpd physical editions) onstage at some point soon, i'll Maybe start to believe she doesn't see women over 40 as piles of dust she's either embarrassed to stand near Or, you know, who expose that she did not in fact fall out of a coconut tree, and have more stage presence sitting down than she does in sequins

#ask #this is an essay #because i am a swiftie!!!! okay!! i can criticize because i know her catalog better than both anti's and ass kissers #anti taylor swift #anti ttpd

[nine-of-words]

No Vacancy (Part Four)

M Orc x M Merfolk Reader

PREVIOUS || STORY TAG || NEXT

Wordcount: 3291

Content Warnings: Brief Non-Graphic Depiction of Sex Work, Slit Fingering/Anal Fingering, Masturbation, Sexual Harassment

Did my best with the content warnings this time, but honestly not sure how I would even tag some of the stuff in this part? Regardless, we’re over the hump now for this story! Just two more parts to go :)

Inadequate. Pitiful. Embarrassing.

These are just some of the words that could describe this situation.

<I’m sorry, this has never been a problem before.> You sign to your client, frustrated. <It’s not your fault.>

<It’s okay, I’m sure this happens to everyone sometimes, right?> Your client signs to you in return, attempting to comfort you with a sheepish look.

In the couple of years you’ve been doing this - you have never had any trouble getting the job done before.

But now this-

You can’t even present the tool needed to complete the task. No matter what you do, your dick stubbornly won’t emerge from your genital vent. The thing might as well be welded shut.

It’s not like the client is unappealing to you, either. You find most mermaids attractive on some level - but it’s never had much to do with how they look, anyway. It’s just a job to you, a pleasant biological process that you exchange for extra gold every June and December.

Eventually, you both decide to give up. There’s no point in wasting any more of either of your time when it’s clear that nothing is going to happen.

You push the seaweed curtain to the side as you swim out of the mermaid’s private cove, still absolutely mortified.

It seems all you’re doing lately is fleeing awkward situations…

The client was nice enough to be graceful about your failure to do your job. Your boss, on the other hand, is not going to be so nice.

The next day when you arrive, Madame does indeed rip you a new one.

<What happened?> She signs, her ornately lacquered finger nails a bit more tense than normal from her clear irritation. 

<I don't know.> You sign in turn, movements trailing off into the next as you try to collect your thoughts better. <We just didn’t… click.>

In the back of your mind, you know exactly why you failed, even if you haven’t fully accepted it yourself yet.

<Unacceptable. This isn't a question of personal preference, you’re still expected to perform.> Her brightly lined eyes narrow at you, and her fins flare out in thought. <Your track record is spotless- aside from the cyclone this past summer- so this is rather surprising.>

<So, you already know I can do better.> You reassure her. If anything, you know how to market yourself. <It was just a fluke.>

<Are you sure? You can take a leave if the pressure is too much.>

Is she… actually showing concern?

&lt;;A permanent leave. Not everyone can handle this job, after all.> She continues, shattering any hope of relief. <I can have your lined up clients select someone else; I'm sure Uttar has other pretty faces with debt that he could lend me. Deadlines are deadlines.>

No, of course not. Of course it's only about metrics.

&lt;No! No. I need the gold.> 

<Well, if that's the case, I need your assignments done without issue. It will hurt the reputation of my business if you can't even manage that much.>

<Please give me another chance.> You're sick to your stomach that you're groveling like this to keep a job you don't even really want. You have too much self worth for the taste to go down smoothly. The extra pay is just too good to let go. <It won't happen again.>

<Make sure it doesn't.> She swims over to the cove wall where several rectangular planks of carved abalone and nacre are strung along a rope. She pulls off a blush pink plank with your next assignment's location painted on it off the line and then swims back over to hand it to you. <I would hate to lose a valuable asset because of incompetence.>

You swim out of there,  and out of the lobby so fast the receptionist probably only sees a blur of blue and purple.

You're absolutely seething. You're surprised the water isn't boiling around your face, with all the heat of the restrained anger gathered there.

It was difficult to resist the urge to quit on the spot. You wish you could…

But it pays so, so much better than your regular courier gigs, and it’s only two months of the year. 

So, you swallow your pride. It's all you can do.

After hours of high speed swimming and your anger has finally cooled off considerably, you start thinking about taking a break. 

Normally on this route, you’d book a room for an overnight rest when you caught up to Varuj’s ship, but…

You cringe even thinking about it now.

How could you even face him after what happened the last time? What would you even say?

Even with your mind fully occupied with self-scolding and self-loathing, your body has absent-mindedly navigated to follow his ship’s route. And sure enough, as soon as you’ve realized it, you spot a familiar keel in the distance.

You want to talk to him. You miss talking to him already. You just… have to actually say something…. 

But what?

Slowing from your rapid cruising speed, you pull up alongside the boat’s side. You barely break the surface enough to scan for a sign of him above deck in the crowd of people enjoying the clear weather. 

He's chatting to some of his passengers like he usually does, with an effortless charisma. Varuj may not be loud or bombastic or overtly attention grabbing, but he has such a warm personality that people tend to naturally gravitate to him. Even during your stays, he often ends up with a small group of tourists around him- he can turn anyone into a friend, it seems.

…Even people like Uttar, apparently. The thought leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

Varuj seems to be doing fine. Great, even. He's certainly at least behaving normally, which is more than what could be said for you.

Why is that, when you're this torn up? When it feels like your entire life has been shattered to pieces?

Things were going fine. He just had to suggest making things more… involved…

Being able to quit sounded so nice at face value, but he doesn't know the reason you're doing this. You'll never pay off your debt if you go back to normal, less shady courier work. 

Varuj did offer you work, but… who knows if that'd be enough, either.

More importantly, you don't want to be indebted to him like that, not anymore than you want to be to Uttar- or anyone else, for that matter.

What was he thinking, even suggesting that? Maybe he was just drunk…

You grimace and dip back underneath the white caps before you're spotted.

You can't deal with this right now. You don't want to know, if that's the case, anyway.

You eventually find a cove to rent for the night, but it's annoyingly far out of the way of your route back. You prefer staying on Varuj's ship on your work journeys because the vessel keeps making progress in the right direction while you rest… that's not the only reason, of course, but it's what you're lamenting the most as you mire yourself between the bunches of kelp, trying to get comfortable.

But no matter how you arrange yourself, you can't seem to find a position you feel at ease. Your body is still far too worked up from earlier, and craving the release it didn’t get.

Your mind wanders back to where you'd rather be; what you’d rather be doing and who you’d rather be doing it with, and your hands follow suit.

The soft edges of your vent are warm to the touch and throbbing lightly already, just remembering how it feels.

Really? Now? You mentally chide your body.

You lightly trace your opening the way Varuj usually does at the beginning of an encounter. The more you think about him, the more your muscles loosen up obediently, viscous natural lubricant starting to coat your fingers.

Where was this enthusiasm when I needed it earlier?

After barely any encouragement, your cock has already begun to emerge from the top portion of your slit from the sensation, stiff and craving the warm squeeze of his mouth and the smooth point of his tusks on your inner thighs.

Ugh… why did it have to be like this?

It makes sense, you guess.

It’s different with Varuj than with clients, anyway, to the point that you’d much rather it be him than a client. There’s a level of freedom there that you don’t get when it’s someone you’re assigned to please- at least that’s what you’ve been telling yourself.

You had such a good thing going. It was… Easy. And now…

He just wants to tie you down, like everyone else.

And nothing good ever comes out of owing anyone anything.

At some point, the heady thoughts about his mouth on your cock has shifted into thoughts about his mouth on your own instead; a prospect that is equal parts exciting and confusing. You’ve never been so aroused by the thought of kissing someone, but here you are. Before him, you didn’t even think you were even all that interested in kissing. But remembering the sensation of warm, slick tongue muscle and the soft hum of affirmative grunting against your lips, you find that you’ve really come to crave it.

Tentatively, you start pressing into your lower slit and into your entrance, thinking of his girthy fingers being the ones pressing inside instead.

To your surprise and moreso chagrin, your fingers slip inside with almost insulting ease. Spurred on by lust, you slowly, firmly, press your fingers deeper inside.

You never expected things to end up like this. While you’ve always enjoyed Varuj’s company, you prefer your boundaries well defined, and he is far from your usual type. 

But you can't deny the effect fantasizing about him is having on you- No resistance, with each little wriggle of your fingers making your hips jerk against your hand. A stark difference from your failed attempts to do your job lately.

Unfortunately, lightly fingering yourself isn’t really satisfying you enough. You’re accustomed to more mass than even three of your fingers can achieve, and they can’t recreate the knobby texture ubiquitous of his orcish dick.

Chasing the memory of that feeling, your fingers move more emphatically on their own. They thrust deeper in, with more firm pressure behind your strokes until you feel the dizzying jolts of pleasure going straight behind your eyes.

You’re so worked up that it doesn't take much of that solid rhythm to push you over the edge. The edges of your vent contract around your fingers, clenching along with the pelvic muscles forcing cum out of you. Thick, vicious seed disperses into the water above you, suspended in the mild current as it slowly disappears.

Your gills pulse in silent panting. It felt good, but there's a deep pit of dread hollowing out your chest overshadowing the afterglow.

It’s as you suspected, as if you really needed to investigate it. Your dick definitely still works. Your body isn’t suddenly incapable of arousal- though it might be easier if that was the case - it’s a natural side effect that commonly happens to some merfolk.

It’s spawnlock.

Varuj is the only partner your body will accept now, whether in person or just the thought of him.

You know exactly what that means.

As much as you have been denying it and avoiding it and lying to yourself the feeling is there, and being expressed by your body regardless of your permission.

You love him.

And the feelings you’ve developed for him are now a physical obstacle for your work.

…This is bad.

You rub your face with a palm in frustration and exhaustion, swaying silently in the water for the rest of the night.

In the morning, you still continue to your next client’s location, though the tenseness in your shoulders makes swimming much less enjoyable.

This can still work. Maybe if you just… think about him hard enough, you can bypass the effect?

You spend the rest of your travel trying to psych yourself up and push through, to continue on like nothing has happened. You get all the way there and begin the session, stubbornly committing.

It does not work like you’d hoped. No matter what you try, it’s the same results as before.

…Unfortunately, your willpower isn’t strong enough to trick your body. Just thinking about him isn’t enough, not with the presence of another person and not him.

<What’s this? You fall in love on the way over here?> Your client signs, punctuating her thoughts by curling her fingers in manual laughter.

At least she’s amused. You don’t know if it’s worse or better this way; you suppose it’s better than her being angry, but you’re not sure how much more bruising your ego can take.

You apologize, accepting defeat much quick this time than the last, and leave the client’s dwelling in shame as fast as your fins can manage.

A cold hand of dread grips your chest as you exit the cove.

There’s no way around it. You can’t work this job anymore, and it’s your own fault.

You don’t even bother taking a rest this time, instead rushing through the swim to get back to Madame’s place. You’d rather just face the music and get it over with.

The trip is strangely serene. You expected to be panicking on what this means for how you can pay off your debt, but all you feel is a calm, empty resentment for your situation.

<You have a lot of nerve coming back here.> She points at you accusatorily as you enter. <You asked for a second chance and this is what you do with it?> 

You set the plank with the information about your last failed job on her desk.

<Look. I did my best. But->

She swipes her hand through the water, interrupting you.

<I don’t want excuses. Do you think I haven’t already received the message from the client?>

<I can explain.>

<There’s not much to explain.> Her expression is somewhere between scorn and pity. <You got yourself a little crush?>

<What makes you think that?>

<I've been doing this a long time.> She shakes her head in admonishment. <It’s not a past client, I hope? That never ends well.>

You don't respond. The fins on the sides of your head flutter through the water in simmering rage, the only movement you're making as you stare her down. Your hands don't need to do the speaking when your eyes are certainly already taking care of it.

<Your contract is void.> She signs pointedly, her glossy lips pulled into a tight, sanctimonious grimace as she seems to savor adding the last movements. <You're fired.>

<You don’t have to fire me - I quit!> You finally snap and sign the last word over and over for emphasis, letting the simmering frustration boil over. <Quit. Quit. Quit.>

You turn your back and storm out, your hands still repeatedly forming the decoupling shape of quit as you go- it’s petty, but you're going to have the last word. 

You want nothing more than to run- just swim off so far and so fast that you can leave all of this behind.

But what’s the point in trying? The tracking rune that was placed on you when you were saddled with the debt would only make it a matter of time until you were caught, anyway.

Swimming aimlessly calms you down eventually… You realize you’re following Varuj’s ship route, again. 

This time you force yourself to veer off, deciding to go to where Uttar’s ship would be right now. You don’t want to, but he’ll find out what happened sooner rather than later. He’ll at least have a courier job for you to pick up, most likely…

You feel detached from your body when you finally arrive. Every bone and scale on your body is telling you not to board the ship… but you do. You have to.

“Well, would ye look at that,” Uttar says, picking his teeth in a tarnished, ornate handmirror. “Favorite little fish ‘o mine is back early. But Spawn’s still goin’ for another week or so, aye?”

You know he already knows what happened. Once again, he just delights in yanking you around.

“That arrangement’s not working out anymore. This isn’t something I can keep doing.”

“Real shame that is. As I recall it, you don’t exactly have the luxury to be picky about what jobs ye choose to take.”

“It’s not a choice.” You clench your fists at your sides, trying to keep your voice even and unraised, determined to not let him feed off of any reaction. “I physically can’t do it. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“None a’my business? You are business-” You can basically smell the burning rubber from his speech grinding to a halt as the gears visibly work in his head.

Then, with the realization, he laughs boisterously. It’s a nasty, cruel laugh, meant to taunt you in and of itself. He drops the mirror and gets up from his seat, coming around the side of his desk to approach you.

“Oh, hoho, fishie’s gone an’ fallen in loooooove, ‘ave we?” He throws an arm around your shoulders in a clearly fake, over-acted chummy manner. You resist the urge to dig your teeth into his forearm and not let go. “Who’s the lucky lady? Or gent, more like?”

He’s playing dumb to make the end result more vicious. You know, because you’ve heard that tone before.

“Must be ol’ Rujie, huh? Seein’ as ye were at his little shindig the other day. Looked like ya saw a ghost when ya seen me there!”

“No.” You say, not convincing anyone. You hate that he’s even talking about him. 

“Me an’ him go way back, y’know?” Uttar continues, absolutely ignoring the fact that you attempted to deny it. “If I’m bein’ honest with ya, though? -Because y’know I have yer best interest at heart- the salty dog laid with each an’ every able bodied seaman he could get his mitts on. With ya here like this workin’? He’s probably got his mitts on some other man as we speak.”

“We’re not dating.” You say coldly, a deep disgust that he’s trying to smear Varuj’s character tying a knot in your stomach.

“Aye? Got ya all loved up and then cut ya loose?” His arm around your shoulder tightens. “Well, a pity, that; it limitin’ yer options an’ all. The merladies pay much better during Spawn times, as y’know. Landlubbers won’t pay quite as well; but their gold’s still gold. And you still have a debt to pay off.”

“Landlubbers…?” You repeat, the full realization of what he’s saying begins to sink in. “...Oh...”

“What, thought ya were off the hook?” He laughs another cutting acidic laugh, and moves his arm to swat you on the ass. “Ya might be locked up in front, but from where yer standin’, round back will still work fine.”

You’re unable to protest the crossed physical boundary, too shocked to even speak.

“Maybe yer gonna think twice about letting me knock some o’ that interest off, aye? For now, go ahead an’ deliver this parcel for me.” Uttar shoves one of the typical shady-looking wrapped packages you’re used to delivering into your open palms. “I’ll line up a new Madame from one of the pleasure boats to handle ye between runs. Ye’ll be back to work by time yer back, ain’t that nice?”

He keeps talking, but it’s just a verbal slurry at this point.

You swallow dryly, and your fingers slowly clench around the parcel in numb, wordless despair.

>> ✨ MASTERLIST >> ☕ KO-FI

#exophilia #monster lover #monster romance #mlm #monster x reader #orc #orc x reader #male monster #male reader #merman reader #gay exophilia #mlm exophilia #oc: noa #oc: varuj #series: no vacancy #nine of words

[wwilloww]

sh. | chapter nineteen | ot7

PAIRING ot7 x reader RATING Explicit. 18+. GENRE smut. fluff. angst. nonidol au. wildnerness au. roommates au. friends to lovers. SUMMARY Six months of quarantine have kept you apart. Somehow the distance sparks something new in each of you: questions, unfinished conversations, threads once chased now left cold. So when your roommate invites you to come with him to a mysterious house in the mountains with your friends, how could you even think of saying no? WC 6.6k WARNINGS AND TAGS  sexual negotiations. talk of sex. near death experience. allusions to history of suicidal ideation (resources). dry humping.

AN pLEASE read the warnings of this chapter! If you've read the warnings and don't want to read the chapter but still want to know what's going on, message me and I'll provide a little tldr; just for you. This chapter wasn't easy to write, and I learned a lot about myself through writing it. I'd be lying if I said there weren't some tears on the page after writing, but I have the biggest of thank yous to the incredible @hesperantha @thatlongspringnight @miscelunaaa and @sugalaritae who helped me transform this from something I needed to write for me to something that actually fits into the story. I feel hesitant to post this, but I'm trusting you all with this and know you will take care of this story. If you're still here, thank you for reading. You're amazing.

← || series m.list || →

CHAPTER NINETEEN: THE EDGE

“We said we’d wait a few days to talk about this, but it’s clear a conversation needs to happen now,” Jimin begins. 

The eight of you are sitting around the dining room table, breakfast hot and steaming in bowls before you, but none of you are eating. As soon as you and Hoseok had entered the room, a swift and chilly tension had settled upon the table. Six pairs of cold eyes had been set upon Hoseok as soon as he entered, and it was clear that the exchange that happened in the kitchen this morning was shared with the entire group. Namjoon’s eyes flicker concernedly down to where your hand is wrapped around Hoseok’s.

 “We said, after the other night—” it’s clear which night Jimin’s talking about. “—that things between all of us were casual.” Everyone nods. “But it’s obvious to me that that’s not the case. Not one bit.” 

Your chest tightens. Not casual? You’re not in the slightest ready for something serious, for some kind of commitment to these men. That’s, that’s simply not what you agreed to. 

“As soon as feelings start getting hurt,” Jimin continues, “this no longer becomes casual. I’ve talked to some of you. I’m worried that there’s jealousy—” His gaze flickers to Jungkook, whose head hangs down. “And I’m worried that we’re not respecting the vulnerability inherent to sex.” His gaze lands on Hoseok. The words on his tongue sound prepared, rehearsed, like Jimin’s been going over them in his head for a while now, or practiced them in the bathroom mirror. 

“Hoseok,” Yoongi chimes in, his jaw twitching. “In case you weren’t sure, we’re talking about you.” 

Hoseok’s eyes flash up towards Yoongi. His lips move like he wants to say something. 

“What happened this morning was unacceptable. It can’t happen again,” Jimin says, before a sound can leave Hoseok. Hoseok shuts his mouth. “Not only that, but pushing one of your closest friends away after having sex with them? It’s just unacceptable.”

Hoseok hangs his head. “I know. I’m sorry, and—” 

“I think there’s only one solution. I think we should stop,” Jimin says. “I think we should stop all of this.”

Silence freezes through the room. 

“No!” you call out. The response surprises even you. You’re not ready for this to end. You’re not ready to let go of what you’ve received from these seven men in the past several days. Your innards hold onto it like it’s something precious, because, you realize, it is. It’s been so long since you’ve felt so accepted, so seen by so many people. Sure, there is a part of you that feels like there’s an unknown edge to all of this—to all of them—that scares the shit out of you, but not because it’s bad. Only because it’s new, unknown. You’re not ready to let go of this. “I mean—I mean. I think this is something that we can talk through. Hoseok and I talked.” You reach beneath the table to take his hand. “We talked and it’s okay.”

“Is it really okay though?” Namjoon asks, his gaze hard and protective. “Is one little conversation really enough to fix things?” 

You look at Hoseok then. Perhaps you had been too quick to accept his apology. But you know this man. You’ve known him for years and understand that an apology from him doesn’t come quickly or easily. He surprises you again by speaking up. 

“I fucked up, guys,” Hoseok says. “I don’t know what’s been getting into me. I thought, um, I expected things to be easy. That I wouldn’t, um… want. As much as I do.” 

“What does that mean?” you whisper. 

“I think we need to expand the meaning of casual,” Hoesok says. “I don’t know if I can do casual.” 

“What does that mean?” your voice wavers. 

“I don’t think I can pretend that sex doesn’t mean something to me.” 

To this, Namjoon nods knowingly, like he understands and agrees. Hoseok catches the gesture and offers Namjoon an unsure smile.

“I was trying to pretend that it doesn’t mean anything to me, that you,” he looks at you, “don’t mean anything to me, that none of you do.” He looks around the table, lingering on each of your friends. “But that’s just not true. I shut down, trying to imagine—

“I get that,” Jungkook interrupts. “I get that a lot.”

“Thanks Jungkook, but yeah. I shut down, trying to imagine that things were nothing more than sex, and that’s just not—that’s just not going to work for me. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I think we’re all ready for some kind of committed relationship,” Hoseok says. “I know that’s not true, and honestly that’s not what I want. But what I need is to know that this—” He squeezes your hand. “—means something.”

Your chest tightens immeasurably, but at the same time, you know something he’s saying is true. 

“I think I understand what he’s saying,” Namjoon adds. “I think there needs to be space for the messy bits. The feelings.” 

The feelings? There are feelings? 

Suddenly you’re reeling, sucking in a shaky breath. This whole time it’s felt like you've been in a vacuum, alone with your thoughts and feelings. You know you’ve felt things for these men. Unnamable, unknowable things. But them? They’ve been feeling too? 

You chide yourself for thinking in such a small sense. How egocentric of you to think that you were the only one with an inner world like this. Of course they’re affected by all of this. Of course they have feelings too. But for you? For each other?

It’s not a new realization, but it is one that strikes you. Makes you look at them through a new lens. The room is silent as each of you take in the others, unspeakable thoughts flashing behind each of your eyes. 

“We’re all friends. We’ve been friends forever. I think it’d be stupid to think that adding sex into our dynamic wouldn’t stir things up. From the past. Even new things, too. But we can’t do this if we aren’t on the same page, or at the very least, can’t communicate.” Jimin shoots Hoseok a look at that statement. “We have to be committed to communication, and we have to be committed to making sure each of us are doing okay within this situation.” He looks around at all of you. 

“I want this,” you say suddenly. “I’m not ready to give this up, whatever it is.” 

Several people around the table nod: Yoongi, Jungkook, and to your surprise, Namjoon. 

“I feel like I understand where Hobi is coming from,” Jungkook adds, reaching across the table to take Hoseok’s hand. “I feel messy. On the inside. Like if I ask for what I want I’m going to ruin something.” 

Hoseok nods understandingly. 

“That’s not an easy thing to say, Kookie,” Jimin says softly. “Thank you for sharing that. And Hoseok—I don’t mean to be so harsh on you. I just… I don’t want to see any of us hurt. And I saw one of our friends hurting.”

Hoseok nods. “I know. And I’m really sorry.”  

“I want to stick with this and see what comes out of it,” you say. “Even if it’s difficult. Even if we need to find new ways to communicate with one another.” 

“How does everyone feel about this?” Yoongi asks. 

Everyone around the table nods in agreement with you. 

“Jin, Taehyung, you’ve been awfully silent throughout this conversation,” Yoongi notices. 

The couple exchanges a look. “I can’t speak for Jin, but I hardly knew any of this was going on,” Taehyung says. “We’ve been a little bit in our own bubble the past couple of days. But I think that speaks to a need for us to be more involved, anyways. More present.” Jin nods, like he agrees. 

“That’s probably true,” Yoongi says. 

Jin clears his throat. “I’m going to add something. Since we added sex to this relationship, to these relationships, I don’t think we can just assume that sex and the rules of sex only stay within the boundaries of the bedroom. For god's sake, Yoongi sucked Namjoon off in the kitchen.” You and Jungkook exchange a glance and at that moment you know that he too is thinking about all of your shared kitchen escapades. 

“And vice versa,” Taehyung corrects. 

Jin chuckles. “And vice versa, yes. That means that consent and communication are just as important outside of this metaphorical bedroom as they are inside. If any of you feel like you can’t communicate something, you either need to figure out how to, ask for help, or remove yourself from the situation. We can’t be messing around with that.” 

Everyone nods seriously. 

“Jungkook, you’ve been quiet too. Do you have anything to add?” 

Jungkook smiles sheepishly. “I think I’d just like to be included a little more? I know it’s only been a couple of days but… I felt a little bit like I was forgotten.” 

Jin grabs his shoulder. “Don’t worry. We got you.” 

Jungkook grins back. “Thanks, hyung.” 

“Alright,” Jimin says. “Then we’ll put it to a vote. All in favor of continuing this… thing?” 

Everyone around the table raises their hands. 

“Then it’s settled.” 

A spark of joy lights in your chest. It’s not over. Not yet. 

“I think I’m ready for that hike, if you are,” Hoseok says, a smile lighting his eyes, as breakfast finishes up. Someone else is on kitchen duty, thank goodness, and you have the day all to yourself. He takes your hands in his own, gripping your fingers tightly between his. “I mean it when I say it: I’m so sorry. I should have never let the situation get away from me the way I did. But I know what I did wrong now. And I won’t let it happen again.” 

You smile up at him, and bring your hand to cup his cheek. It feels easy. Maybe too easy.

“I forgive you. And I’m sorry, I’m sorry for not kissing you.” 

“It’s okay.” He turns and begins to make his way towards the door where your shoes are. “You can make it better, anyways.” 

“What? Make it better?” You hurry up to him. 

“Yeah. Like this.” He captures your lips with his, his hand winding around your back to pull you close. It’s a soft, sweet kiss, and when he pulls away, he’s grinning from ear to ear. “I don’t know if that’s ever going to get old.” 

You turn your head only to find Jungkook staring at you guys, jaw hanging open.

“Jungkook—” 

“I’m going to find Jin hyung. Take him up on his offer.” Jungkook hurries away. 

Hoseok chuckles. “Jungkook’s going to have the ride of his life if Jin is the one he’s searching out.” 

“I wonder if it’s not only Jin he’s excited to see though,” you muse. “There was something there with Taehyung that night too.” 

At the mention of that night, Hoseok flushes, like an innocent flower. 

“Do you get shy when I mention that?” 

“Maybe.” 

“Why?” 

“Never thought I’d be talking about that kind of stuff with you.” 

You scoff. “We hardly did any talking that night.” 

“Talking, or, you know. The other stuff.” 

You sidle up to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. “What other stuff?” you ask innocently, wanting to push him. 

He flushes a little. “Um. You know. Sex.” 

“Or Jin sucking you off.” 

He coughs. “Or, yeah, uh, that.” 

You laugh, slip on your shoes, and press out of the side door. 

“C’mon loser. Let’s go.” 

Winter teases the edge of the mountains, frost coating the ground, an icy chill whispering in the air. But the trees still hang onto their leaves, reds and the burning golds of the aspens making the world look like it’s lit aflame. 

Outside, Hoseok seems to come to life again, his body resetting in the chill of the winter air. Born again, even as the plants die. Despite his vigor, you notice a quietness that settles around him as he looks back at the house disappearing behind him. 

“Hobi—Are you okay?” you ask, as you begin up the steep trail. The house itself is located at the base of several peaks, and this is one you haven’t trekked up yet. 

Hoseok nods, swallowing heavily. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.” 

“What’s going on in your head, then?”

He pauses for a moment before answering: “There was one point in the conversation where I was worried that they—Yoongi especially—they were trying to push me out of the group or something, but I realized that they’re just trying to protect you.” 

“Hobi. No one wants you out of the group. Especially not me.” 

He smiles at you for that, and offers his elbow to you. You slip your hand through. 

“Jimin and Yoongi can be so singularly focused sometimes. But I know they were just worried. I know they love you.” 

Hoseok nods several times, like he’s processing what you’re saying. “What about you, darling?” Hoseok asks, turning his head to you. “How are you feeling? I know it was your suggestion that we keep this casual.” 

Your jaw twitches a little at that. “Um. I...” You trail off, your gaze going blank over the beautiful scenery before you. “In all honesty, Hobi, it makes me a little scared.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I understand the logic. That we need to broaden the parameters of our relationship. That we already love each other, that we all have expectations and feelings and thoughts about the situation, and that casual sex and all that just don’t work together. But I’m having a hard time not feeling scared of it all.”

Hoseok nods. “What is it that you’re afraid of?”

“I’m afraid if I let go of my feelings that everything will come crashing down,” you whisper, as if by speaking any louder the words themselves will usher ill-will into your world. Your throat is a little tight.

“What are your feelings?” Hoseok asks. 

“God, I don’t even know,” you laugh. 

“Try.” 

You take a deep, shaky breath, your footsteps coming slower as you think hard. 

“God, there’s so many.” 

“Just one then.” 

You look at him. Really look at him. The weariness of his face, the hope fluttering there, in the corner of his eye, the intensity and care with which he gazes at you with. “There’s you. And there’s this knowing that I want to be close to you.” You take a deep breath. “Closer to you.”

Hoseok laughs. “That’s a thought, silly.” 

“Alright,” you say determinately. You let loose a long breath. “I feel regret. Regret that I didn’t kiss you the way I wanted to. That I didn’t make you feel wanted in the way that I wanted you. Anyways, that’s all so serious. We don’t have to be so serious.”

Even as you say it though, there’s an underlying sea of tension between you. Because you have talked about the missing kiss, you’ve talked about the sex, you’ve worked that all out. But neither of you are mentioning exactly where it all started: the night you kissed him for the first time. It hangs between you, large and unspoken. And yet all too tender to speak of. 

“You could make it up to me, you know.” There’s a devilish glint in his eyes. His hand catches in yours and he tugs you to his chest. “Can I kiss you now?” 

“I thought you’d never ask.” 

He kisses you soft and slowly, like he’s taking his time with you, like there’s no rush to urge him forward or responsibility waiting on the other side for him. He kisses you like you’re his, like he’s tasting you for the first time, like you’re something sweet and all his to savor. 

He’s a fucking good kisser. And truthfully, it’s nothing like your first kiss with him, that awkward, clunking thing. 

You pull back and grin at him. 

“You’re a good kisser.” 

As you smile at him, you realize: It feels normal again. Like old times, the two of you traipsing through the city together, arm in arm, wrecking havoc wherever you go. 

“Hobi! Look! The view!” Right over his shoulder lies an incredible overlook, you’re not sure how you didn’t notice it before. Beneath you, the mountains sprawl in valleys and peaks, an ocean aflame. You’ve never seen anything like it. You run up to the edge of the cliff, the gravel beneath your feet slipping a little. You stumble once, but right yourself. 

“Hey! Be careful!” Hoseok calls from behind you. 

“I am! I am!” you call back, looking over your shoulder at him. He’s grinning at you, taking his time as he picks over the rocks to get to the edge like you are. But with your gaze distracted, as you near the edge of the cliff your foot slips out from under you. You are falling to the ground, feet flailing before you. 

You hit the earth with a clunk, an “oof” leaving your chest involuntarily. But your body doesn’t stop. With the slight incline, it continues to slide forward, rolling over the little rocks and dust. You try to grasp onto anything near to you, with no luck, sand, bits of gravel sifting through your fingers, digging underneath your fingernails. The ground rushes past you. You clamber for anything. You’re falling. You’re falling towards the cliff. 

Your legs go over first, then your torso. It happens in slow motion, adrenaline spiking fire through your body. That’s when you come alive. You flip over, hands grasping onto the ledge, stopping your fall. 

The scattering of rocks falling beneath you is the only sound in the entire world. 

“No!” Hoseok screams, his voice still so far away. But the sound of him, the ragged edge of a torn voice—it cuts right through you.

You’re terrified for him, terrified he’s going to slip and fall and go over the edge like you, but you need him. You need him. The wind howls beneath you, your heartbeat stuck in your ears, pounding. 

The wall of the cliff retreats slightly beneath the ledge, leaving nothing for you to get a foothold on. 

You’re going to die. 

For a moment it all flashes before you, Hoseok screaming for help when you go, him sprinting down the trail to the house, your friends faces when they hear. You’re not ready. You’re not ready to go. 

Your breath is stuck in your throat. There’s nothing left in you to call his name. But he sees you, he sees you, and he’s tripping over himself to get to you.

“Be careful!” you manage to cry out, and he slows down, picking his way carefully towards you. His hands are clenched into sweaty fists, the terror in his gaze bleeding into yours as he hurries towards you. “But fucking hurry! I can’t—” 

Your fingers slip just enough for you to yelp. 

“Hobi! Please!” 

He reaches you then, bending down. He grips your wrist with one of his hands and with the other, grabs onto a small tree. His hands are shaking, his breath uneven. 

“On three, I’m going to lift.” His eyes bore into yours, his voice mysteriously calm. It gives you direction. It gives you hope. “You’re okay. You’re going to be okay. One. Two. Three.” With a grunt, he uses the leverage of the tree to begin pulling you up. 

You kick your legs and the best you can, begin to house yourself up. It’s messy, uncoordinated work, but you manage to hoist an arm over the top, then a knee. With Hoseok’s help you scramble over the ledge, your breath coming hard, your head hanging between your shoulders as you pant on all fours.

He doesn’t let go of you, hand wrapped painfully tight around your wrist. He tugs you forward, away from the edge, and you scuttle after him, pushing as far away as you can. “Come on, come on,” he urges, until you collapse in his arms. 

“What the hell just happened?” 

You reach for him with the hand he isn’t already holding, grip his hand tightly. With both hands around yours, you feel bound to him physically, even as your body still swings in the sensation of hanging by a thread.  

“Fuck.” He wipes his hand over his face, your hand going with it. “I thought you were gone.” 

His body shudders beneath yours.

“I’m not though—” 

“But I thought you were. I thought you’d fallen. I thought—” His voice chokes up. “And then I saw your hands, grabbing on and oh my god. But I thought you were gone. I really did.” The look in his eyes is one of absolute grief.

“I’m okay, Hoseok,” you say gently. 

He shakes his head. “Fuck, I’m the one supposed to be comforting you. Are you okay? Are you hurt?” He begins patting you down, looking for injuries. 

“I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine.” But you’re not. Your throat wells up, closes around you. You grip onto his hand even tighter, stopping his movements. “God,” you hiss, as the tears start to well up in your eyes. You wipe them furiously away with the back of your hand. 

“Come here, let's get you away from that edge.” 

He pulls you to your feet, nearly dragging you away from where you were sitting three feet away from the edge while your body freezes up. He pulls you all the way to the trail, where the ground is firmer, flatter. You find your footing. You just stand there. 

He wraps himself around you. You’re there, wrapped up in him, just breathing. This goes on for you’re not sure how long. And then slowly your body begins to relax. To melt into him. Your fingers come back to life first, flickering, finding purchase in his jacket, tangling in the fabric and pulling him closer. Your breath syncs up with his while you let loose little sobs, your face pressed into the nook between his neck and his shoulder. Slowly, your body feels like your body again. 

“I don’t want to lose you,” he murmurs into your hair. “I can’t lose you.”

“I don’t wanna lose you either,” you mumble back, taking a big sniff. “God, what the fuck is going on here, first the bear, then the forest, now this?” 

“The forest?” Hoseok pulls back just enough to look at you, a puzzled expression settling on his face. 

You shake your head. You don’t want to talk about it. You don’t want to have to explain. You don’t want him to think that you’re crazy. 

You bury your face in his neck once more, squeezing him so tight you’re sure it must hurt. But he just squeezes you back. Holds you like you’re the only thing left in the world. 

“Do you want to go back now?” 

“I need—I need to sit. Just for a little bit.” 

He nods and you both settle against the trunk of a very large tree. He doesn’t let go of your hand, though. He keeps it held tight in his lap, both hands surrounding yours. He looks at you, a muscle in his jaw twitching as he does, a look of concern flickering across his face. 

“You’re safe now,” he whispers. “I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

You close your eyes. Knock your head back against the tree. Stare up at the webbed pattern of the evergreen above you, the way the blue sky flickers through it. That’s when it wells up. That’s when it comes. 

Tears, spilling down your face, silently. 

It’s like you’ve been cracked open. 

Everything comes to the surface. 

It washes over you like a stormy ocean, the waves at the surface thrashing, the depths holding a deep, deep chill that you can’t escape. 

Sometimes there’s a grief in you that rises to the surface. It comes burbling out of you like a secret pool, hidden away in the vast sprawl of mountains. It comes like the moonlight when the sky is clear, splitting through the night, unjarrable. It comes like poison: green and viscous and spilling out of you. You can’t swipe a hand through it, can’t stop the flow of it when it comes. There’s only one way out: through. 

You’ll let the tears sit like window boxes of peonies before they spill out into the yard. But now they’re pouring. 

“Hey, hey.” Hoseok repositions himself so that he’s between your legs, hugging you, wrapped around you. “It’s okay to let it out. It's okay.”

You nod into his shoulder, tears streaming down your face. 

“I don’t wanna go. Not anymore.” 

“I know, I know. It’s not your time. It’s not nearly your time.” And then he pauses at your words, really takes them in. His eyes widen in understanding, noticing the current beneath your words. He whispers your name. “Was there a time when you were? Wanting to go?” 

You blink up at him through watery eyes. You nod. 

“Shit,” he curses. “I didn’t know.” 

“I hardly knew.” 

“You didn’t—you wouldn’t—?” 

You shake your head. 

“No. I wouldn’t. But the thought was there.” 

“What happened? When was this?” His whisper tears at the edges, like he’s falling apart with you. 

The words come with the tears, tumbling out of you, welling up from that dark, deep place you can’t and won’t name. “I didn’t want to be here any more. There was a part of me that just wanted to disappear. To stop being.” You squeeze your eyes shut, and Hoesok’s grip on you tightens. The tears come quicker with the words, like you’re finally letting the thing out that you have been holding back for so long. That you’ve been too afraid to even admit to yourself. It rises like an interruption to the narrative you’ve built around yourself, but you can’t hold it back. Not anymore. The truth feels rattled from its cage. “Quarantine was harder than I thought it would be. The loneliness. It was so much. Nothing like I ever knew before. I just—” You choke on a sob. “I feel so lucky to be here with you all again. Like there’s light again. Like there’s living again.” 

At the very beginning, when everything had come screeching to a halt, you had thought you were fine. But the monotony of life, the ensnaring of your life, the locked door, the world shut down beyond your fingertips—it had left you feeling like nothing more than a wild animal trapped in a cage. It wasn’t just a physical feeling. It was in your head. It settled in your very bones. 

You’d begun to spiral. That’s when the thoughts set in, green and dark and deadened, like rotting leaves. They covered the floor of your mind, so that there was no escaping them. 

“Shit,” Hoesok curses, and when he says your name, it’s with all the ache in the world. “I wish I had known. I wish you felt safe enough to tell me.” 

“I think I needed to put myself away from everyone,” you whisper. “It was so hard to tell anyone. I thought… I thought that you all would see me differently if I told you.” You take in a shaky breath. “But I did get help. I went to the doctors. I went to therapy. Wasn’t an easy fix, but it helped a lot.”  It had been a week after the thoughts had set in—just a week, though it had felt like ages longer—before you’d gone to Namjoon. He’d helped you, held you, gotten you to the right doctors and the right therapists. He’d taken all of the work out of your hands so that you hadn’t had to worry about a single thing. All you had to do was show up. 

And he hadn’t let it change a thing in your relationship. He was still there, a comforting presence, in your life. He asked you what you needed, but he didn’t treat you like something broken. You especially appreciated this when you arrived at the mountain house, because it felt like you could have a new start, a fresh beginning, where you could leave this safely in the past. 

But these things, these things don’t leave a body easily. That much is true. Coming back to an apartment with a lock on the door and a quiet world outside didn’t make things any easier. But things had slowly begun to shift. And ever since you had arrived at Namjoon’s mountain house, things felt like they were catalyzing. Like you were changing, for the better. Like instead of dust, light was coming through your cracks. 

Hoseok grips your hands, a look of deep seriousness falling over his face. 

“I—I don’t want to do it alone anymore,” you say. You sniffle and pull a hand away from him to wipe at your face. “Can I ask you something? Can I ask a promise of you?” 

“Anything,” Hoseok says, and he seems like he means it.

“If it happens again, I want to know that you’ll be there. That you’ll be here for me.” 

It’s Hoseok’s turn to choke up. “I’m so sorry I ever made you think I couldn’t be there for you, I’m so sorry—” 

“Hoseok, I don’t need you to be sorry, I just need to know.” 

He nods, wiping at his eyes. “Of course. Of course I’ll be there for you.” He sniffles. “And we can make it easy too. We can have a code word. If you feel it coming on, you can just text me ‘peanut butter.’ And we’ll take care of you. We’ll get you back.” 

You nod, the tears beginning to slow. 

“I love you, Hobi. I really do.” 

“I know.” 

He’s so close to you now, his eyes pressing into yours, a deep look of concern on his face. 

He’s so close to you now, his eyes pressing into yours, a deep look of concern on his face. 

You don’t know what comes over you, but you press your lips to his. 

He tastes like the sea. 

He stills with shock, going still beneath your touch. But then his hands come to your face, fingertips dragging through your tears as he cups your cheeks, thumbs wiping away the wetness. He kisses you back, a slowness to your desperation. 

A massive confession, a near death experience—the adrenaline floods through you at a breakneck pace. Your body zings with energy, sparking at the tips of your fingers, and it feels like the only way out is through, well, him.

“I need you,” you say, tears spilling from your eyes. You’re not sure why you’re so emotional, and yet you can’t stop it, can’t stop the small hiccups that wrack your body, can’t stop the yearning that fills your chest, desperate, desperate to be satiated. 

His eyes are wet too as he meets your lips, hands cupping your face as he squeezes his eyes closed and kisses you. 

“Are you sure?” 

“I’ve been needing you,” you admit, sniffing. “God, I must look so gross right now.” 

“No, no, absolutely not.” He pulls away just enough to wipe away the beading tears that are gathering  at your water line. The touch is so tender your eyes well up once more. “You don’t look gross. You look human. You look alive. And that’s what matters.” 

“I feel like a boulder in athletic clothes.” 

He laughs at that. “Then let me make you feel different.” 

You sniffle. “Yeah.” 

Slowly, he rolls the both of you over so you’re on top of him, straddling him. 

“You’re a certain kind of lovely,” he says, whispering your name at the end of the sentence. “A kind of lovely that even with tears all over you and a good bit of dirt on your face, doesn’t disappear.” Your fingers come up to your face, where the dirt must be. He grabs your hands. “Don’t worry about it.” He kisses your lips. “Don’t worry about it.” He kisses your jawline. ”Don’t worry—“ He bites down on your earlobe and you arch into him. He grunts, as your core presses against his length. 

A gasp rattles through you as you realize what’s beneath you. Between your legs. 

“You’re so hard.” 

“Touch it—if you want.” 

You reach between your legs, letting your hand rest against him, squeezing, before running your hand up and down the length of him. There’s something about this all, the over-the-clothes setup, the rawness in your chest that makes this feel like you’re much younger, like you’re doing something like this for the first time. Or maybe it’s just Hoseok. 

Hoseok takes the opportunity of your distracted mind to bite down on your earlobe again before sucking it into his mouth ever-so gently. You gasp, and your hand slips from him, coming to his neck, tilting his head. You kiss him furiously, angrily even. 

How dare he make you feel like this. 

You can feel a dampness growing between your legs, knowing it’ll stain the panties that you—against Jimin’s rules—decided to slip on today. And you’re glad you’re wearing them for once, worried you’ll sink through the layers of clothes you have on and onto Hoseok. Though, when you dripped onto Namjoon, he hardly seemed to mind.

Knees pressed into the dirt, your body feels like it begins to come back to you. It’s slow at first. The regaining of feeling in your fingertips, Hoseok’s skin beneath your touch, and then it’s the discomfort of small rocks pressing into your legs, a discomfort which is quickly overridden by the firm pressure of being held by the earth, of being held by Hoseok. 

With your center pressed to him, you begin to grind against him, slowly at first, just unhurried dragging against his cock. He moans into your mouth. But today is anything but slow, meandering, and your pace soon quickens into a desperate grind. 

His hands come down to your hips, fingers searching through the layers of clothes for your skin.

“N-need you, Hoseok—“ you gasp, as the tip of his cock presses against your clit. It’s a dull pleasure, one that’s building quickly though. 

His hands are pulling at your clothes, and your leggings are being pulled down your legs. Your hands drift from his face to his pants, where you unbutton them. There’s an uncoordinated moment as both of you shimmy and jolt, trying to work your pants down. You both get about halfway–one leg out of your leggings, his pants down to his knees–before his lips are on yours again, his hands on your face, pulling you closer. 

Not before you catch a glance of the bulge straining against the very limits of his boxer-briefs. 

You sink down on top of him, your panties coming into contact with his cock, his hardened length sliding perfectly against your covered cunt. 

His hands meet your hips once more. “Move your hips, like this,” he demonstrates, grinding your hips down upon himself. “Back and forth.” 

You laugh. “Hobi, I know how to.” 

“But don’t you wanna know how I like it?” He smiles up at you, a shit-eating grin on his face. “And then you can show me just how you like it.” 

“I like it like…” You’re not entirely sure, trying to think back to the last time you grinded against someone like this, your clothes still on. You think it must have been with Taehyung, in the back of his car, when you were younger, much younger, scrambling your way through college. So you test out several different motions with your hips until you find exactly the one that works for you.

“Like this.”

With the tip of his cock pressing against your clit, it’s not long before a strangled moan makes its way out of your throat. He swallows it up like it’s his own. 

There’s a certain kind of power to having Hoseok shuddering beneath you. A kind of thrill. Joy, even. 

“F-fuck, Hobi,” you gaps, falling forwards so your lips meet again. As you kiss, his hips begin to buck up against yours. The movement feigns sex, and it feels even more desperate, more depraved than sex itself. 

You pull him up so his chest is slotted against yours, your arms wrung around his neck. The both of you are panting in tandem, a breath in with a breath out. You squeeze your eyes shut as your orgasm nears. 

It’s a kind of warm bleed, golden and burning through your body. You cry out as you come, and he’s not long behind you, gasping into your mouth, hands gripping tightly onto your hips as he holds you against his cock. 

The comedown is slow. Foreheads tipped together, you stay like that for who knows how long. That’s when you notice: your tears have dried, leaving your body tired through and through, as if you’ve been wrung out like a wet towel. 

“You’re special to me,” Hoseok says. “You’re really special. I don’t want you going anywhere.” 

You nod. 

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” 

And you know you mean it in all the ways that you could say it.

Hoseok helps you to your feet, personally pulling your leggings up for you, a move which is both sweet and a little funny to you. He does this before fixing himself up. You think he can’t be comfortable like that, come in his underwear, but he doesn’t say anything about it. Instead, he just swings an arm over your shoulder and kisses your cheek. 

“Let’s get you home. I think there’s a conversation to be had between all of us.” 

The hike down to the house is longer than you remembered it. As you step out of the forest, you can’t help but look back over your shoulder. 

“Why can’t I go outside and it be normal?” you mumble, more to yourself than to anyone else. 

“Hm?” Hoseok hums. 

“Nothing.” 

As you step into the house, one thing is clear to you: Your tango with death seems to have left you with a new vigor. You’re not giving this up. Not unless God wrangles it personally from your hands. You grip onto Hobi’s hand even tighter.

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[eidetictelekinetic]

Oh fuck it

I'm not tagging it, I'm not interested in an argument

But as far as the apology dance goes? Crowley is the first to say "do you want an apology or can we take it as said?" Aziraphale is still petty and grumpy - they both are, whatever opinions you have on it, they both ended that conversation upset and hurt - and it shows when he says actually he'd like the apology. But he doesn't get angry until Crowley objects to the dance. Which makes sense to us with the context we have, but all Aziraphale knows is Crowley has told him "you're right but I'm not going to do the thing you do in these situations because I don't do that." Which is... an understandable reason to get upset, actually.

Now, we know Crowley doesn't think he has anything to apologize for. A lot of people in fandom agree, and I think we all agree that whoever was objectively right or wrong, Crowley was within his rights to say no and leave. (And, no, Aziraphale does not kick him out. At one point in the argument what he says comes close, but he backs down from that when Crowley calls him out on it and the truth is, if Crowley doesn't want to be involved, leaving is all he can do. Which he does. Neither of them are happy but that's all.)

We also know the reason Crowley actually came back was that he found out just how much danger Aziraphale was in. Aziraphale does not know that, because Crowley deliberately doesn't tell him. (Something they are both guilty of even here; Aziraphale doesn't mention the "terrible thing" Jimbriel talked about.)

In my opinion, Crowley brought up apologizing in the first place to distract Aziraphale from asking questions about why he came back. It worked very well. But it only highlights that the root of their problems is lack of communication.

A lot of the lines Aziraphale ends up crossing in s2 could have been avoided if they'd talked clearly enough for it to have been stated what they were. The Bentley thing is... weird, actually, it feels strangely random in the story, but we know why Aziraphale thinks it would be all right! He explains it! If he considers the shop to be both of theirs, why wouldn't Crowley feel the same about the car? This is obviously the wrong take, but... it's the kind of thing that needs discussion once the misunderstanding is known?

I think it also doesn't help that on Aziraphale's side, a lot of what Crowley does is push his boundaries, because Aziraphale's are... not really as serious, and Crowley knows he can push on most of them, that Aziraphale welcomes it in the end. It wouldn't surprise me if Aziraphale is making the Bentley vs bookshop mistake there too, assuming Crowley feels the same way he does.

An assumption they both make, actually. That's one of the reasons things fall apart. Different exactlies. Wanting the same basic thing but on mutually unacceptable terms.

[4am-enha]

Enhypen Eve. 🎄

Description: Spending the majority of your Christmas time alone this year, you found it hard to get into the Christmas spirit. Seven boys decided you feeling alone on Christmas was totally unacceptable. They unexpectedly take you out on a very eventful, Christmas filled day.

Word count: ≈ 3.3k

Genre: fluff, friendship, attempted comedy.

Pairing: Ot7 Enhypen x Female Reader

Tags/includes: every enhypen member, friendship with enhypen, she/her pronouns used, spending christmas eve with enhypen, ice skating, christmas shopping, snowmen, christmas movies and cookies, christmas light seeing + walk, friendly fluff, appreciation, niki being a menace as usual, grumpy hoon.

Warnings: swearing, small mention of animal death?

Note: !! This is purely an imagine for entertainment and should not be taken seriously, nor does it have anything to actually do with the real members of Enhypen thank you !!

───※ ·❆· ※───

Christmas Eve was here.

That was hard to believe.

It just did not feel like Christmas at all this year, let alone Christmas eve. No matter how hard you tried to get yourself to register that it was finally that time of year again, you still felt like it was just another day. Even after listening to Christmas music on repeat all day, the only thing you felt like you had achieved was contributing towards paying Mariah Carey's bills for once again, another year.

You had been living alone for a while now and ever since you had, you realized the importance of being around loved ones for Christmas. Christmas just wasn't itself without your family around. You reminisced on all the joyful and vivid moments from the past Christmases. How exciting it was to get ready for your aunt and cousins to come over so you could show them your new gifts, and then open more gifts from each other. The funny board games you'd all play together after Christmas dinner, especially UNO, the one game your dad would continuously cheat at by hiding cards under his ass.

Unfortunately, the nostalgia still wasn't enough to get you in the Christmas spirit. It was probably because you had not gotten the chance to participate in Christmas-like events this year. You felt defeated. Maybe this Christmas was just going to be unusual, and you'd just have to accept it. 

Your seven friends: Jake, Jungwon, Jay, Heeseung, Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Niki, had heard you complain how “Christmas just isn't the same” for weeks now. They could visibly see how much it impacted you. This time of year was usually important to you. They couldn't endure seeing you so deflated over it (and they also couldn’t stand hearing you complain). They didn't want you to feel so alone. That’s probably where they got this ‘grand’, unorganized idea from.

“I’ll give you ten minutes.”

Sunoo tugged on Heeseung’s sleeve, “Come on Heeseung, don't be such a party pooper.” 

“I’ll give her five,” Sunghoon added onto it bluntly.

“So, you guys just expect me to magically be ready to go, even though you just turned up, unannounced, with NO notice, asking me to go on a mystery day out with you all?” you questioned, eyebrows raised in pure disbelief.

“Yes,” Niki, Heeseung, and Sunghoon answered almost perfectly in sync. It was like they had rehearsed being annoying together.

You stared blankly at the seven boys standing at your door.

“Can we come in? It’s really cold…” Jungwon mumbled from behind the others, coming forward and exaggeratedly shivering to convince you for an invite inside. It was actually very cold, however.

“Whatever. I'll be ready in 20 minutes. I’m not negotiating,” you sighed and signaled with your hands for them to come in and sit down in the living room.

Niki eyed the console across the room and groaned rather dramatically, “I’m already bored!”

“Just say you want to play Niki, It’s fine. Make yourself at home. I’ll be right back,” you said before rushing up towards your room.

Niki whispered under his breath with a smug expression, "don't mind if I do," and grabbed the controllers, “I’ll 1v1 you Heeseung.” Niki loved having a competition whenever he possibly could.

“If you want to cry, then sure,” Heeseung shrugged and stated harshly, very confident in himself.

───※ ·❆· ※───

If a room bursting with people was loud, you could assure anyone that the seven boys in your house right now were louder. There were constant screams and yells, (mainly from Niki who was predictably persistently losing against Heeseung in their game,) booming through the floor as you ran around trying to decide on a final look. Luckily, your neighbors were away this Christmas.

You hated short notice plans because it made you feel rushed and unprepared. Everything you put on felt ugly or out of place. You didn't have the slightest clue as to where the boys were even taking you today. You kind of wanted to cry, when a gentle knock was heard on your bedroom door. 

“Who is it? Come in.”

Sunoo peeped his head round the door, “hey, are you almost ready? It’s just that Sunghoon is getting impatient-”

You threw down the jumper you held in your hands and your shoulders quickly sank into a small strop, startling Sunoo.

“Is everything okay?” he asked cautiously, not fully understanding why you were upset yet.

“I'm so frustrated. I only decided on an outfit a minute ago, and now I feel like my hair looks like a mess. It's all over the place, I'm all over the place! I really just want to cry.”

“Oh no don't cry! It’s nothing I can’t fix,” Sunoo smiled, “sit down, I’ll style your hair.”

For the next ten minutes or so, Sunoo styled your hair perfectly with an average pair of old straighteners you had not really used in a while. It was a small talent he had. He loved doing his friends' hair, especially Niki's when he would allow him to. He styled your hair like the aesthetic pictures on your Pinterest board.

Finally, you both finished up and made your way back down the stairs- where the other six had been waiting for a while now. They all turned as they heard the pair of you arrive at the scene.

“Wow! You look so pretty!” Jungwon exclaimed, making you smile after all that frustration and struggle. If only they knew the effort it took.

“When did Sunoo even leave?” Niki questioned, finally taking his eyes off of the screen in front of him.

Heeseung looked you up and down and gave you a small thumbs up. Somehow, that was a very good sign from him.

“Nice to know you care about me enough to not notice the lack of my presence,” Sunoo rolled his eyes.

“Come on, let's go,” Jake urged enthusiastically. He had no idea what was going on, but the anticipation was killing him. He could just run around from eagerness.

“By the way guys, where are we even going?” Jay suddenly asked very confused. Noticeably, it caused a sudden tension and silence. Glances were shared, but nobody said anything, because nobody was sure.

“You mean to tell me you don’t even have a plan?” you raised your voice, staring in shock at all of the boys yet again- a common occurrence when you had these goofballs as your friends.

Jungwon put an arm on your shoulder, “relax, of course we do, Jay is just being silly, aren't you?” he shot a glare at him, “we are going to go Christmas shopping first, and then get some lunch.”

That plan was created on the spot, but you didn't need to know that.

You beamed with excitement, “since when did you guys like shopping with me?”

“That’s just sad...” Heeseung mumbled.

───※ ·❆· ※───

It had been about an hour since the eight of you had arrived at Starfield Mall. You had all split off into different groups depending on the types of stores you each wanted to explore. Currently, you were walking around a clothes store with Sunoo and Jay. You had picked up a few things whilst wandering around the store; you would have had a lot more in your hands if Jay didn't critique your fashion sense every time you picked up something you thought was cute. 

“I have an idea!” Sunoo exclaimed.

“Hm?” Jay hummed, eyes still on the clothes rack which was making that awful screech noise as the clothes hangers slid along.

“How about you pick out some outfits for us to try on Jay? We can do a little fashion show try on! You know, since you want to critique our clothes choice so much...” Sunoo grumbled that last part to himself.

“I don’t see why not,” Jay looked at you for your approval on the matter.

“Sure! Just don’t make me look stupid, alright?” you widened your eyes and crooked your head slightly. Scary. It was an understandable reaction though, since you had basically been traumatized by being Jay's model for clothes in the past- in which he pranked you into wearing something hideous.

“Pfft, since when did my fashion taste fail anybody?” he scoffed in response to your reaction, which he had taken a slight offense from.

And with that, the show began.

Before long, Jay was stressing, rushing back and forth from the changing room grabbing different sizes and alternate colors of things, “Why are Women's clothes sizes so difficult? This doesn't add up at all. Personally, If I were a woman, I would be angry at the world."

Meanwhile, you and Sunoo were hyping each other up and taking mirror selfies. At one point- Jay somehow ended up being dressed up in a ridiculous bright pink, frilly outfit picked out by yours truly. Was it revenge? Perhaps. His expression showed that he was clearly not impressed, but he also held back a laugh as he examined his reflection in the tall mirror he stood by.

"Damn my butt looks good in this," he kept declaring.

You spotted a photo booth nearby, so of course after your little personal fashion show, the three of you took some cute pictures with some Christmas props.

As you exited the booth, you collided with the other five of your friends, who had already expected you to be here of all places knowing you and Sunoo were constantly taking pictures when you could.

“I’m hurt. You guys took pictures without us?” Jungwon frowned.

“Who said we can’t take some more?” you suggested, leading to all eight of you cramming into a booth clearly not built for this many people at once. You were all jammed shoulder to shoulder, stepping on each other by accident- causing yells and silly arguments, but overall, it ended in giggles and hilarious pictures you would each treasure for a long time.

You all got lunch together soon after. Well, after you had all spent a good fifteen minutes bickering over what food to have.

You all spent time laughing at the pictures and talking about what each of you had gotten up to the past couple hours. Eventually, the topic of what you would do next was brought up.

“I was thinking we could play outside in the snow,” Jake slurped his ramyeon.

“Yeah, let’s do that. I can't stand shopping anymore,” Niki contributed, throwing a quick shady look at you. You raised an eyebrow in response as to say, 'what the fuck did I do?' and he stuck his tongue out, pulling a stupid face. As expected, you did it back. Niki just had to have the last word and was about to do something else when,

"Knock it off," Jungwon warned the pair of you, causing you both to immediately stop. Jay snorted at the sudden obedience.

“I actually went outside earlier, and I saw an ice-skating rink nearby. Maybe we should go there? Sunghoon can show us some tricks! Plus, I’ve always wanted to try it,” Jake volunteered Sunghoon, staring directly at him, who was completely and utterly zoned out and unaware of what he had just been signed up for.

“Oh yes please! Please teach us some of your ways, teacher Sunghoon!” you shook him by the arm, snapping him back to reality.

“Huh? Oh, it's been a while though-”

“PLEASE?”

“ALRIGHT, JEEZ.”

───※ ·❆· ※───

“This was an awful idea,” coughed Sunghoon as he looked around at his friends falling on their asses and knees every ten seconds.

Surprisingly, Sunghoon had stuck to his word and had attempted to show you all how to ice skate. Of course, It was not as successful as he would have wished it to be. What did he expect? It was a recipe for chaos.

Niki was skating around pulling everyone down with him, almost pissing himself seeing everyone slip and fall. Jake was clinging onto the wall for dear life, terrified of Niki coming near him, while Heeseung teased him for looking like a scared puppy. Jay and Jungwon were waddling and sliding like penguins. The only one who had seemed to get the hang of it was Sunoo, it had taken him a while though.

You had been beside Sunghoon the whole time, trembling each stride you took. It didn’t take long until you fell face first, lucky not to seriously injure yourself. Sunghoon hurriedly bent over to help you up, laughing for what you recalled was the first time today. Wasn’t that nice? It took you embarrassing yourself and almost getting hurt to crack a laugh out of your friend. 

You awarded him an annoyed look, “thanks.”

He held onto you and slowly skated with you, catching up to the others that were still causing havoc in the rink and burdening the workers.

Although ice skating did not go as well as you had imagined, and it had ended a lot sooner than planned, you still knew it would be a treasured memory to look back on and you didn't regret trying it out- even if your buttocks thought differently. Besides, Sunghoon had lightened up a little too.

After that mess, everyone got tired rather quickly. You all decided to go back to your place for cookies and Christmas movies. There was a lot of snow on the way back home though, and the idea of a snowball fight was brought up- which was apparently too strong of a temptation to resist.

Jake and Jay made snow angels together after pushing each other into the snow, leaving them with the consequence of their clothes being completely soaked. Not very ideal, considering they had no spare clothes with them and would have to borrow some of your ‘girly’ pajamas- that's if they would even fit. You were sure you had some oversized lounge clothes they could borrow anyway.

You had all stopped to make a snowman. It wasn’t very big, but it was made with love. Heeseung searched for some items to sculpt and create its face- a few rocks, leaves, and two small twigs. Niki and Sunoo worked together to make smaller, baby snowmen beside it. They made seven- representing them all.

“The big one is Niki because he's so freakishly tall,” Sunoo blurted.

“Technically I’m the oldest, so I think it should be me,” recommended Heeseung, interrupting Niki's argument to Sunoo's statement.

“It looks great guys,” you whispered in awe, smiling widely and taking many pictures of the creations.

It had taken a lot longer than it should have to get home. Everyone was all bright red and freezing from the snow that was thrown at each other. You had slipped a few times in the snow because of the hidden ice that lay beneath it. Everyone was tired before, but now they were exhausted.

Later, Jake wrapped you up like a burrito in a few blankets in an attempt to warm you up as you all huddled and watched a few Christmas movies. 

As you sat and watched, you couldn't help but drift off into your thoughts. Today was really unexpected, but it was so sweet. You were having a great time and you felt loved just having your friend's company. You smiled to yourself.

“Is she crazy? Why is she smiling right now?” Niki pointed at you, finger shaking a little like you were a monster.

“Huh?” you had zoned out for merely just a second, but you were already getting criminalized for it. Tears welled up in Niki's eyes.

“THE DOG JUST FUCKING DIED IN THE MOVIE AND YOU ARE SMILING?” Niki sobbed, clearly very impacted by the tragic scene you had missed in the movie.

“That's not what I-”

 “WHAT ABOUT THIS IS FUNNY TO YOU?"

You weren't sure how to respond, you stared in bewilderment.

"THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A CHRISTMAS MOVIE, WHY IS IT GIVING ME DEPRESSION?” he wailed louder, taking everyone by surprise. Sunoo and Jungwon tried to comfort him and glared at the others who were trying not to burst out laughing. It was a lie to say Jungwon wasn’t holding back a giggle himself though.

You shook your head in astonishment and munched on some of the cookies you had made with Jay and Jungwon earlier. You had no idea how passionate Niki was towards dogs in movies. You learn something new every day supposedly.

Then an idea struck you.

“Hey, the house down the street goes all out with their Christmas lights every year. It’s pretty impressive. They have a light show and everything. Should we go see it? I think Niki needs some fresh air anyway,” you shared your thoughts.

“I like the sound of that,” Heeseung stood up, “I usually go for a walk in the evenings anyway.”

Everyone waited until Niki was stable again, and then got their jackets on. It was just a brief walking distance.

It wasn’t the most eventful thing you'd done all day, but somehow just standing around laughing and talking while admiring Christmas lights with your friends felt the most precious of all. You all huddled up close and some put their arms over each other's shoulders, grouping everyone in to stay warm. Without them, this would have been just another plain experience, but with them, it was irreplaceable.

“This one looks like Niki,” Jake pointed at a funky looking light up elf on the ground, earning a hard shove from the younger.

“Nah this one is Jake,” Niki pointed at a dog figurine wearing a Christmas hat, “and this one is Heeseung,” he pointed at a snowy looking dear, “oh and this one, this one is definitely Sunghoon,” of course- pointing to a penguin. 

“When is the “Sunghoon is a penguin” torment going to end? We all know full well, I'm too handsome to be one of those things.” Sunghoon hissed.

The teasing and the “this you?” jokes went on for a while.

Not long after you had all first arrived, the owners of the house came out and gave everyone hot chocolate and chatted for a while- explaining all the different lights and stories behind it all. Everyone was having such a good time, but as it got later, it got colder and darker, and you finally decided it was best to go back home.

You walked home calmly with Jungwon, Jay, and Sunghoon. The others had run and rushed ahead, chasing each other, being loud, and being themselves. 

You admired the cold breeze of winter blowing on you, the few Christmas lights here and there, the snow glistening under streetlights on the paths you walked, the humming of festive songs coming from your friends beside you, the pinch of cold on the tip of your nose. The boys really knew how to make you feel better, even without directly stating it, you knew they had done this to make Christmas feel special for you. 

You wiped away a tear or two, but for some reason the tears just kept coming. It had all moved you so much. You were just indescribably grateful, and this is what Christmas was truly all about. 

“Nono why are you crying?” Jay asked, noticing the flood of tears streaming down your face all of a sudden.

“Thank you for today,” you sniffled. The few that were still beside you hugged you tightly, held your face and wiped your tears away with their sleeves.

“Merry Christmas guys,” Jungwon smiled, “It’s midnight.”

Then it hit you. There it finally was. 

There was that nostalgic feeling you had longed for so much recently. It felt like Christmas, and it was all thanks to the silly, loving seven boys making you feel at home as they always did. This Christmas was one for the books, one you would tell your grandchildren about, one that would make next year's Christmas hard to match in greatness.

Christmas day was finally here, and there was nobody you would have preferred to spend it with.

AN: ello ello~ thank you so much for reading this! let me know if you enjoyed it <3 i apologize for not posting as often, i’ve been really busy lately- but i managed to squeeze in this ot7 christmas special. if there are mistakes, close ur eyes. LOL. merry christmas and a happy new year to everyone that celebrates it <33 may 2023 bring you good things 🫶🏻. MUAH ily!!

#enhypen x reader #engene #enhypen #enhypen fic #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #sunoo #heeseung #fluff #jungwon #jake #jay #niki #sunghoon #ot7 x reader #ot7 enhypen #ot7 enhypen x reader #fem reader #enhypen friendship #friendship #fanfic #enhypen fanfiction #ot7 enhypen fanfiction #kpop #kpop fic #christmas #enhypen christmas #christmas fic #comedy

[mermaidsirennikita]

So I saw your tags about how the Ravenel series is a bit mid, and I don't disagree despite liking some of them a lot? Marrying Winterborne was my first intro to Kleypas, and it fucks real hard, I love it. I have a soft spot for Chasing Cassandra because I enjoyed Tom in previous showings, and I found their dynamic compelling.

But I didn't even finish Ethan's book because I couldn't be arsed, and I bought West's and wished I hadn't I was so incapable of getting into it. Anyway, this is all to say that you're not wrong, and are in fact generally right.

(In positive news tho, re: Marrying Winterborne, never gonna be over the scene where she agrees to fuck him and then after she's in the bath and he's like "I'm changing her agreement" before realizing "Oh shit, I've made this woman panic, fuck shit". Anyway, have a great day.)

"you are not wrong, and are in fact generally right" I sincerely love this lol, it sounds like something I would say to a friend of mine

Marrying Winterborne DOES fuck so hard, and I think that because of this, the series in general gets a strong rep than maybe it should...? Because in terms of popularity, I think Rhys is absolutely up there with some of Lisa's top heroes--people like me who prefer her older books love him, people who prefer the Ravenels adore him (generally). I don't think I've met a Kleypas fan who doesn't love that book, though I'm SURE some don't. And you do really need to read Cold-Hearted Rake for the background of MW (the first time I tried to read MW I did it without CHR and was like "this fuck is this"). I wonder if this is why CHR gets so much flack? Even though, and I will die on this hill, it's PROBABLY better than Devil in Spring and definitely better than Devil's Daughter and Hello Stranger? (I really need to give Chasing Cassandra another fair shot because I remember very little of it; I think the one-two punch of Hello Stranger and Devil's Daughter, two of my least favorite Kleypas books, made me very burned out when I read it.)

Ethan's book was very disappointing to me because I actually was very excited about Garrett as a heroine beforehand. And I do.... wonder if Kleypas changed plans, the way she famously did with Scandal in Spring. Because there's a scene in... MW I think? Where Garrett and Tom have like, an arm wrestling moment, that makes me wonder if the original plan was Garrett/Tom. Again, I need to reread Chasing Cassandra to really experience THAT pairing again--but I do think Garrett/Tom would've been more interesting than Garrett/Ethan.

I mean, HS was also fucked from the jump because it had that really racist "Ethan got his sexual education from an exotic Indian woman" thing, which shocked people into calling Kleypas out, and I think triggered the Great Kleypas Editing Hackjob. Which, by the way--it does speak to how much name and expectation matters, because while what Kleypas wrote into that book is absolutely awful and unacceptable, I feel like it's portrayed as this shameful anomaly when I can think of at least one smaller name (but still notable) author who wrote a historical with a MUCH worse depiction of India around the same time. Which doesn't excuse what Kleypas did, I just dislike the idea that Kleypas was the only one doing that in the 2010s, when that's faaar from true. Historicals still haven't figured that out, and sometimes I think the recaps of how the Hello Stranger issue was handled read very "look Patrick, we saved the city" because the biggest name got dogged into apologizing/editing. Either way, Hello Stranger is mid without that content and it's gross with it, so I usually put it at the bottom of my rankings. Either way, it ain't up to par and I can't judge it fairly in its edited form at this point.

Devil's Daughter is just Not Good. And I will take my lashings from everyone who loves that book, because everyone loves Kleypas soyboy West Ravenel, and I just have to say--do these people like THE BOOK? Do they like PHOEBE? Because everything I see is all about West West West and even if I was into West, which I Am Not, I feel like there has to be more to a book that's being upheld as one of her recent bests than "I love him". Sorry, the plot of DD is boring at best and lame at worst. Phoebe hates West because he was her dead husband's childhood bully, and I do mean childhood? And sorry to Phoebe's dead husband, but he's dead and fictional and I never met him and I don't care. And West is a less interesting Leo Hathaway. He stopped drinking and realized booze was giving him the dad bod, so he's hot now (my kingdom for a dad bod historical hero). And now he's boring because he's not a rake anymore and has responsibilities, but like? He just sounds like a fuckboy before his redemption lmao. Like a bit of a wastrel. Leo Hathaway was out there crying in a public sphere and giving great advice to Kev Merripen like "if you don't get with my sister, one day you're gonna wake up covered in tears and your own come and realize you have nothing but regrets" to which Kev goes ".... is that what.... you do...?" Leo Hathaway readily admitted to waking up on the regular covered in tears and semen. That's a true wreck.

And Leo is in itself the softer Kleypas hero type--other "redemption" heroes are like, Sebastian, who kidnapped his wife's best friend and threatened to rape her! Derek Craven, who was born in a drainpipe and fucked for money for years (not that this is anything to feel bad about, but he does) and owns a degenerate gambling hell lol. John McKenna, who comes to find his childhood sweetheart with the explicit intention of like, filling her belly with his fetid seed and siring a bastard on her so that she'll be humiliated forever I cannot. Why would I be impressed with West going "I was kind of a loser tbh" YOU ARE FINE. THIS IS BORING. GIVE ME ANOTHER THING TO CARE ABOUT.

But yes, I love that scene in MW so much. To me, a lot of MW's charm is that Rhys severely does not know how to talk to women, or romance them in a tender way (him fucking shit up with Helen with the flower situation is hilarious sorry). And he also does get legit douchey with Kathleen, lol. He very much gets a little threatening and is all "SO YOU WANTED A BIT O' ROUGH" and Devon has to do a mild Westcliff moment. Kleypas heroes: always mad when their best friends get sexually aggressive with their women, always ready to forgive after like a week.

#romance novel blogging #anyway if you love the ravenels or any of the books i hate this is not a moral or intellectual judgment of you on the srs #i love so many books people hate #i enjoyed devil in disguise (and i also totally get why people dislike it lol) #i think what frustrates me is that the ravenels is often pinned as the Unproblematic Kleypas Series and like #... no first off that's not true it arguably had some of the most problematic content she's written on a racial level #which i personally find a lot harder to read than derek craven almost strangling a woman who threatened to like #SA and murder his wife #(altho i know there are several bigger implication issues to that whole thing that i think are much more problematic than character actions #but bc people think 'older historicals = bad books bad problematic' #they assume the ravenels is better #and i'm here to say the writing and plot content is a lot less interesting and a lot less daring

[rinadragomir]

Heyy rina what's up?

Just saw your post about the hate for CHoT being so overwhelming it's making people who liked it feel uncomfortable. I haven't read the book yet because the cost of it where I live is ridiculous (like 5x what it should actually be) and I'm waiting for it to go down. Been avoiding the tsc related tags for the same reason, I didn't want any spoilers. May I ask, what's all the hate about? Like, is it valid hate, about the book not being good, or just fandom hate for characters not behaving the way their fanon selves do or something? Is the book even worth reading, or am I just wasting my time waiting to read it?

But I can always send you a good epub version✨ with an additional story✨

Listen. The book IS good. Period. The problem we're facing right now is not the writing's quality. It's the issue of expectations. I'd rate this book 8/10, I really loved it. There are some things that I wished were done differently, but that's only my opinion.

I understand that waiting for 2 years for one book is a lot, but Covid wasn't something Cassie could've predicted☝🏻 And of course when you're waiting for so long you start thinking that THAT SOMETHING HAS TO BE SO DAMN SPECIAL IT CAN TOP ALL PUSHKIN AND TOLSTOY'S CREATIONS. When you're waiting for sth for so long you inevitably end up having a clear picture of it in your head. And when the actual thing doesn't look like the picture in your head it can be devastating.

Some people can't accept whom Cassie chose to kill this book. Some people didn't like how it was handled. Some people are mad that Cassie didn't include scenes they were expecting to see. Some people are mad that she included scenes they consider useless. It's a matter of personal tastes.

It doesn't mean that all people hate the book, actually lots of people who text me say that they were really satisfied with the ending. But people who are not are being really loud rn and this is not an environment which motivates people to post their positive thoughts. + Every time Cassie posts sth on Tumblr/answers our questions, people react...in a bad way, doesn't matter what she says, they're just mad at her right now.

And this is the part where I should remind y'all that being mad is okay, disliking the book is okay, post 535753 annoyed posts daily is okay, it's your right. INSULTING THE AUTHOR AND SENDING HER HATE IS UNACCEPTABLE ⚠️⚠️⚠️

So✨the book is great! I really enjoyed it and I still do, like I'm rereading it literally every day and I'm not planning to stop✨ Don't be afraid of the hate! I'll be fully back in action in a while and I'll work on creating a positive inspiring environment 🫶

#asks✨ #chot #chain of thorns