#//If they let him be or even support him more instead; he will make a passing mention abt how much he hates thunder to start cuing them in

[sugrhigh]

BOY NEXT DOOR 7 - ( c.s )

part six

summary- you and your roommates live beside a bunch of senior hockey players, one of them being the infamous team captain chris sturniolo. he’s effortlessly flirty and undeniably attractive, but he’s also a pain in your ass. you find that you have to fight between lust and hatred as you finally get to know the boy next door, whether you want to or not.

warnings- cursing, smut (oral m!receiving)

a/n: part 7 bay beeeee let’s get it, they’re falling yall 😳

@fawnchives @teapartyprincess4two @55sturn @l9vesick @mattinside @sturnioloco @rootbeerworshiper @stonermattsgf @dazednmatthews @chrisactualwife @mattybsbitch @mattsmunch @breeloveschris @sturnifyed @julessspoetry @beijhe @luckistar-posts @gnxosblog @braindead4l @hearts4matty @orangeypepsi @ponyosturniolo @cupidsword @rainydayenthusiast @sturnvvz @wurlibydominicfike @poopydroopt @bernardsleftbootycheek @trilliwarner @rubyjanexxx @reallykaz @sturnlvrs @neatcarrot767 @kirby0strombolli @bunnysturns @junnniiieee07 @hrt-attack @sturnssmuts @stunza @beccaluvschris @asturniolos @slutz4sturniolos @mattslolita @alorsxsturn @sturnrc @chrissystur @kellsbells-18

the following week and a half are a complete haze. between classes and schoolwork and hanging out with chris, it’s been a whirlwind of both pleasure and stress, but you’re not complaining about it.

it’s the most fun you’ve had with a guy in a minute, the most fun you’ve had with anyone in a minute period.

you catch yourself smiling at your phone in class when he texts you silly things throughout the day, or when he gives you a quick call to tell you something crazy. he’s always insisting that you spend the night at his, just so he can wake up with his chin nuzzled into neck and his arm wrapped around your waist.

after practices he’ll pick you up to go get food, or bring something back for you if he stops on the way home instead. you’ve also been to a few of his games since making up, which depending on the result will usually end in some type of fun new sexual escapade.

he never forgets to kiss you hello and goodbye, is constantly giving you his clothes to wear because they “look better” on you, and he even throws his arm around your shoulder in public without shame.

he’s doing the little things, and you have to admit that you really like it.

ramona and cass have caught on at this point, always shooting you sly grins when you say you’re heading out, or that you have plans. you never even mentioned chris by name in the beginning, but they knew.

and despite prior flukes, they both support you whole-heartedly and are always gushing about how different he’s acting. you try not to read into their theories too much, but sometimes you can’t help but wonder.

why would he be putting in effort on all of these extra gestures if he didn’t truly want something more?

he’s already got the sex, so what else does he need?

but one thing you still haven’t fully learned about chris is that he’s selfish. he needs and wants everything, in almost all aspects of his life aside from his romantic interests. that is, until he met you.

and now that he has you, finally, he wants it all. whenever you’re not with him, he’s thinking about you. sometimes it’s the dirtiest fantasies that he’s just waiting to fulfill, and other times it’s wondering what you had for lunch, or what you dreamed about, or what you’re up to with your friends.

when you are with him, he can’t get enough; your smell, the way your hair feels against his palm, the softness of your lips all over him. he adores when he makes you laugh, when you toss one leg around him before the two of you go to sleep, when you’re standing in the crowd supporting him in his jersey.

he even likes when you scrunch your nose in disgust at him after he hits you with yet another cheesy pickup line.

chris has no idea how to handle the intensity of his feelings, or how to identify them. unbeknownst to him, you’re feeling the exact same.

but everything is still normal as you two lounge on his bed, both enjoying the wind down after a long day. the sun is well below the horizon now and you’ve been watching hockey for the past two hours—shocker. but you can feel chris growing restless beside you, hand stroking your thigh lazily.

“alright, what’s your deal?” you ask after he huffs for the fifth time, even though you know he’s just bored.

he pauses to think about it for a moment, rolling his lips between his teeth. then his eyes go wide and a grin takes over his face as you watch an idea form in his mind.

“wanna play super smash brothers?” chris asks, and you feel your own expression light up at the suggestion.

“oh my god, seriously? i didn’t even know that game was still around.” you gush in excitement.

“lucky for you, i’ve got it on my switch.” he wiggles his eyebrows a few times before he leans over to grab the device off of his nightstand.

you stay silent while he props the screen up on top of the covers, sitting up straighter like he’s preparing for war as he hands you a controller.

though the console is a completely foreign thing to you, you used to be decent when you played on the wii several years ago. you have a feeling the skill will translate.

“are you sure you’re ready? i’m a known pro.” he warns you with a smirk as the game loads.

you shrug, deciding not to boast about your own ability just yet. better to leave it a mystery, just in case you do actually suck.

“your threats are unimpressive.”

“i’d hold the sass, princess. we haven’t even started yet. plus,” he drags the word out for effect as he stares at you with a devious look in his eye, “i have a dare for you.”

a snort escapes before you can help it. “so we’re back in middle school now?”

“c’mon, humor me.”

“alright, let me hear it.” you give in, because you are wondering what he has in store.

“every time i beat you, you have to take off a piece of clothing. and every time i lose, if i ever actually lose, i’ll do the same.” chris explains.

it’s an enticing offer. you pretend to contemplate the challenge, tapping on your chin lightly with your pointer finger as you furrow your brows.

“okay, i’ll take the bait.” you finally say.

you don’t plan on being defeated anyways. he’s underestimating you yet again, and you can also tell that he’s surprised by your answer.

but regardless, he gives you a nod of approval. “very daring, i’m impressed.”

“you'll be even more impressed when i kick your ass.” you tease with a smile, leaning in to give him a quick kiss before you refocus on the task at hand.

“sure i will, now pick your character already.” he prompts, pointing a finger at the screen.

you already know who you’re going to play as, because you used to choose the same fighter pretty much every time. so you use your controls to scroll and select quickly.

“so you’re a kirby girl.” chris notes with a grin, like it makes perfect sense.

“force of habit, i guess.” you respond as you glance down at the switch.

he just shakes his head, clicking on the default stage so that he can get the game ready to go. “that big pink fuck won’t save you now.”

“hey! don’t you dare talk about him like that, he can hear you.” you motion to the screen in offense.

this makes him chuckle, a delightful sound that you’ve come to know and love.

“yeah, yeah, whatever. are you ready?”

you square your shoulders. “prepare to die, chris sturniolo.”

the game begins a moment later, and neither of you are relaxed in his bed anymore. you’re both quite literally on the edge of your seats, fingers frantically jamming at the controllers.

you’re the first to hit him, watching his XP fade just a little bit as a result. he grunts beside you while he continues throwing aimless attacks your way, eyes narrowed in determination.

he’s next to land a big one, which knocks kirby on his ass for a solid few seconds as chris pummels your character. you’re at nearly half of your health before you escape his grasp, so you grit your teeth and keep battling.

but it’s no use. even though you knock him off of the little island, he delivers the final blow a moment later and pikachu wins the first round.

“shit!” you yell as you watch your own fighter die.

chris throws his arms up in victory, already beaming over the fact that you’ll have to be the first to start stripping. you stare at the screen incredulously before you hang your head in shame.

“i think you owe me something, baby.” he chirps happily.

your mind races, trying to find some loophole to save your dignity. then the sides of your mouth turn up just a bit. you reach down to peel your socks off and toss them to the floor, fully smirking now.

chris shakes a finger at you accusingly, though he’s smiling regardless. “that does not count, you little cheater.”

“it totally does. socks are essential to daily life.” you argue.

he licks his lips as he grips his controller once more. “fine, but you don’t have an excuse after this, and puppy eyes won’t get you out of it.”

“sure they won’t.” you reply innocently, giving him a knowing look.

the next round starts up and this time you come out swinging, sending quite a few damaging hits his way. you’re satisfied with the head start, avoiding him by jumping around on the obstacles in the arena.

every time he’s about to strike, you feel him tense up beside you, so you decide to use it to your advantage. you back up as he advances, once again steering clear of any harm.

then you switch up and go on offense again, sending pikachu up into the air with the last strike of the match.

chris groans in disappointment as you let out a brief cheer, nudging him with your shoulder suggestively.

“i think you owe me something, pretty boy.” you mock him, unable to hide how pleased you are.

he just rolls his eyes in response, reaching to grab the collar of his shirt so he can pull it over his head. you honestly weren’t fully prepared yet, and your mouth goes dry as you watch his muscles clench while he shifts to chuck it to the ground.

you can see some of the hickies you gave him scattered across his collarbones, and although you’re a little embarrassed, it’s also a bit of a turn on.

“distracted?” chris taunts.

you narrow your eyes and turn back to the switch. “never.”

the third round commences and you’re feeling far more confident now. he may have a big ego, but he’s not as good as he made himself out to be, so you’ve at least got a chance.

it’s dead even for a moment while you each go punch for punch, bringing your health down quite a bit. you’re completely zoned in until you feel his hand grip your thigh, inching higher and higher rather quickly.

it makes your stomach flip, and you’re forced to look over at him in surprise. in that moment, you know you lost, because chris removes his fingers just as quickly as they were there and goes for the final kill.

he meets your eyes after he’s secured the second win, pure amusement evident in his expression.

“who’s the cheater now, huh?” you shove him lightly, but he just laughs.

“hey, you never said touching was off limits. i was just using my resources.” chris says, clearly deciding to maintain his innocence.

“that’s total horseshit and you know it. you’re lucky i’m a good sport.”

so you tug your own sweatshirt up, throwing it toward the foot of the bed without a second thought. you’re left in your lacey red bra, though it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before anyways.

but when you glance over, there’s a hungry glint in chris’s eyes that lets you know he's just as excited as the first time. his gaze flicks down to your chest, tilting his head forward a bit so his face is closer to yours.

“jesus, that bra is fucking sexy.” his words sound more like a whine than anything else.

you can feel yourself beginning to shake ever so slightly in anticipation, trying to steady your hands by holding your controller.

“don’t say shit like that to me.” oh, but it sounds so delicious.

“i’m sorry.” chris lies breathlessly.

his lips ghost over your cheek, his teeth clamping down on that sweet spot behind your ear a moment later. you let out a small gasp, placing your hands on his warm chest to push him away.

“we’re supposed to be playing.” you remind him quietly.

everything in your body is screaming for him to pin you to the bed, to let him have his way with you, but you won’t let yourself get carried away that easily. not this time.

“damnit, i’m not going to be able to win with you looking like that right beside me.” chris complains.

“sounds like a you problem.” you brush him off and click the button to start the next round.

you can feel your hands sweating as you move kirby around the stage. you know exactly what you’re doing now, walking right into his attacks as if you’re practically begging to die.

the attention chris gave you after you lost last time was intense, and you can only imagine how it’ll go once you take off your pants too.

so, you let yourself lose. pikachu defeats kirby swiftly, and now it’s time to face the consequences.

“you suck at this.” he grins widely after your third loss, clearly content.

but you don’t say anything. you just lay back, lifting your hips up so you can wiggle your sweats down your legs. you kick them off at the foot of the mattress, enjoying the way chris’s eyes go wide as he watches you.

“you’re evil, you know?” his voice is dangerously low as you sit back up, confidence flooding through your veins.

you nod, biting down on your lip to keep yourself from smiling like a cheshire cat. “what are you gonna do about it?”

he opens his mouth like he’s going to tell you, and then changes his mind.

“nothing.”

not the answer you were expecting. you furrow your brows, completely thrown for a loop, when you get your own brilliant idea. an idea he won’t be able to resist, literally and figuratively.

“fine, then i have a game for you.” you say, trying to provoke him.

“i’m listening.” he sounds intrigued.

“let’s see how long you can go without touching me, because i bet you won’t last more than a minute. but i can do whatever i want.” your voice gets sultry at the end as you glance down at his mouth.

chris feels all of the blood rush to his dick just thinking about the dare, already turned on from seeing you in your tiny matching set. he knows he won’t be able to contain himself, but he doesn’t care.

“filthy girl.” he purrs, nodding his head yes.

you watch him situate himself against the pillows, laying so you can roll to your knees and straddle him. his eyes roam your body, lips tilted into a lopsided smile as he relishes the feeling of your silky skin on his.

your hands go to his bare shoulders, steadying yourself as you lean down to give him a brief kiss. you move to his jaw before he can get to into it, taking your time as you finally reach his neck. he spreads his hands out on the comforter, gripping it harshly to prevent himself from giving in.

your hips rock against him agonizingly slow, and you can feel his hard on as you grind your cunt into it. fingers trail down his stomach, raking at the skin lightly.

he’s choking on his breath underneath you, trying so hard not to buck into your movements even though he wants to so bad. you’re careful, leaving open-mouth kisses in new areas in the hopes of giving him more hickies.

chris’s eyes flutter closed, lips parted in bliss as a small whine escapes, and you can tell he’s just itching to truly feel you.

you move your face up so you’re right by his ear, whispering your next words without hesitation.

“come on baby, touch me. i know you want to.”

it’s your first time using the pet name with him, and you can tell by the groan he lets out that it’s enough to send him over the edge.

his hands reach to grip your ass, rocking you against him harder as he gives one side a little slap. chris tilts his head so he can capture your mouth with his for a real kiss, tongue and teeth meshing together beautifully.

when you pull away his lips are glossy and red, which you always love seeing. you shift yourself off of him so your hands can move toward his sweats, fingers dipping below the waistband just slightly as you look up at him for permission.

chris nods eagerly, biting down on his lip and squirming around for any kind of contact. you steady his hips with your hands, clicking your tongue once in distaste.

“you better be patient, or i won’t do a damn thing.” you chide.

“i’ll be good. so good.” he promises, practically pleading with you now.

the neediness ignites a fire in your stomach, so you slowly begin to work his pants and boxers down his legs. his erection bounces free, slapping against his stomach, and you feel your mouth watering just looking at it.

once you’ve officially discarded his clothes, you position yourself between his legs so that you’re eye-level with his cock. he’s already throbbing at the sight, waiting as you spit in your palm and wrap it around the base of his shaft.

chris lets out a moan as you start to move your hand up and down ever so slowly, making sure to tease as much as possible because you know how sensitive he is right now. your run your thumb over his slit, which is leaking with precum, and he trembles in your grasp.

after a moment like this, you finally bring your head down, wrapping your lips around him and swirling your tongue across his tip.

“fuckkk.” he hisses through his teeth, reaching to wrap a hand in your hair messily.

you take as much of him into your mouth as you can, using your hand on the part you can’t reach as you hollow your cheeks and bob your head slightly. your other palm rests on his thigh, steadying yourself as you suck his dick.

“feels amazing.” he praises through a whimper, involuntarily bucking into your throat now.

you can feel him pulling you by the hair, forcing you to take more of him as tears brim your eyes. you know he’s getting close just based on the way he’s beginning to shake, so you pick up your pace a bit.

“shit, baby, just like that.” chris groans, his body shuddering as you work your tongue.

he’s breathing heavy now, head thrown back with his eyes screwed shut, hair messy across his forehead. his grip on you tightens, a dead giveaway that he’s about to come.

“fuck, fuck, i’m—”

you feel him twitch in your mouth, body completely tense as his orgasm spills down your throat. his hand untangles from your hair so you can pull away to swallow, brushing stray strands from your face.

his chest rises and falls heavily as he lays there, riding out the high before he peels his eyes open to look at you through the bleariness.

“you’re incredible.” chris says as he reaches for your hand, pulling you down into bed beside him.

he presses a kiss to your forehead, a gentle touch that you’re not used to, and you feel your stupid little heart melt.

“and you’re getting soft on me, mister tough guy.” you joke, poking his side like you're making a point.

“for you, i think i can live with that.”

#sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #christopher sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut #hockey!au #neighbor au #christopher sturniolo smut

[intoanotherworld23]

Wanna Feel The Heat

Summary: your fathers always told you if you play with fire you’ll get burned, and with Joel you didn’t listen

Warnings: mdni 18+, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, dom Joel, security Joel, slight choking, minor spanking, dirty talk, a form of exhibitionism, praise kink

A/N: reblogs and comments are always appreciated and highly encouraged. If you wish to be added to my Pedro tag list don’t hesitate to ask it’s always open for everyone! Thanks so much for your continued support it means a lot to me! XOXO

Hall Of Hunks

Tag list for everything: @iam-laiya @rosie-posie08 @madzleigh01 @alwaysclassyeagle @mytbel0st @shanimallina87 @marvelstarker-mha98 @powellssugarbaby @lora21 @kmc1989

Tag list for Pedro Pascal: @pedrohoe04 @k-k0129 @livingdeadmaria @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @milly-louise @kittenlittle24 @trisaratops-mcgee @subconsciouscollapse @hooked-on-penapascal27 @red-red-rogue @fellinfromthetop @drewharrisonwriter @vickie5446

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

"Daddy know about what his precious princess is doing?" His words echoing in your ear the heat rising to your cheeks. Heavy hands gripping your hips so hard you could feel burning.

Your father was an important man, and therefore needed security to insure his safety. That's where Joel came in. Flirting back and forth with innocent touches then turning into him dragging you to the nearest bathroom. Should have your head bowed in shame for what you were doing, but instead you were bent over the sink letting him do whatever he wanted to you.

"His angelic daughter getting fucked by his security in the bathroom. So desperate to be fucked." Hearing him say it out loud was even hotter than you expected it to be.

"Hear how wet you're gettin." His southern drawl came out a hand coming down on your cheeks making you jolt as he snickers more to himself. "Gonna have this cunt achin' for days."

Joel shamelessly bucking his hips into your backside while watching you through the mirror in the bathroom. Forcing you to watch yours and his expression. Taking notice how his cheeks were bright red, and pressing his lips together when he felt himself getting closer. Everything about this was wrong yet neither one of you were doing anything to stop it.

"Should have you scream so daddy can hear." Continuing with the crude comments as he buried his cock deeper inside of your raw cunt. The thought of him running up here was terrifying. Not able to hold in the little whimpers and moans that escaped your lips. Joel knew this undoubtedly judging by the tears forming in your ears you couldn't handle that kind of pressure. "Don't worry sweetheart I don't wanna be interrupted."

"Joel please I'm so close." Biting down on your arm with frustration at how close you were wanting nothing more than to feel that warm feeling ignite all over your body.

"Got you right where I want you princess." Mocking you as he dipped down thrusting at an all new angle a loud gasp escaping past your lips. Reaching a hand to grab your neck and pull your head to look up at the ceiling. Grinding deep rotating his hips looking down briefly to see your slickness trailing along his length.

"Takin my cock so well. This cunt was made for me." Speaking confidently as he kept light pressure on your neck proud how easily you were submitting to him. Loving the sounds of your cheeks smacking against his thighs like it was music to his ears.

Joel could sense that you were struggling to release almost like you were fighting it. Reaching his other hand around to your front finding your sensitive clit rubbing fast circles coaxing the orgasm from you. Keeping your feet planted firmly on the ground as he rocked his hot body into yours. Your neck was starting to really ache, but you were so close you were powering through.

Body slumping against the sink hand falling from your neck as your body fell completely numb to your euphoric state. Cunt clenching his cock like a vine as you trembled and shook around him. Both hands held onto your hips as he continued to pump himself swiftly and deep. Not taking long before he was spilling his seed.

"That's a good girl. Such a good fuckin girl for me." Praising as he rubbed his hands up and down your back reaching a hand towards your puffy cunt to feel where you two were connected. Still trying to catch your breath as his finger collected both your juices on his finger.

It was something that snapped in you as he softly touched and caressed your body, and how his eyes looked at your body in admiration. It had you wanting more of him. Wanting to taste more and to feel more. Like the wild animal locked away in the cage was banging against the bars to get out.

"Good thing daddy didn't hear us after all." Joking as he smeared his finger across your mouth looking up to see the milky substance shine on your lips. A devilish smile appearing on your face as you licked it up shamelessly only to make Joel grin widely his cock twitching inside of you. "I see daddy's princess wants some more."

“Well I wouldn’t be doing my job if I wasn’t taking care of you.”

#pedro pascal #joel miller #Pedro pascal smut #Joel miller smut #Pedro pascal x reader #Joel miller x reader #Pedro pascal blurb #Joel miller blurb #securty Joel miller #Pedro pascal fanfic #Joel miller fanfic #Pedro pascal fanfiction #Joel miller fanfiction #Pedro pascal imagines #Joel miller imagines

[burst-of-iridescent]

No, Shipping Zutara Is Not Supporting Amatonormativity (Please Use Some Fucking Braincells For Once)

- a treatise by a severely pissed off aroace zutara shipper

since words don’t mean anything anymore (if they ever did on the esteemed piss-on-the-poor website), let’s start with a definition.

amatonormativity: the set of social assumptions that everyone prospers with a romantic relationship, thereby positioning marriage as a universal goal of adult life. amatonormativity forms the basis of several institutional structures that are built to cater to romantic bonds over all others, also manifesting in social pressure on individuals to find a romantic partner by pushing the false narrative that those who do not experience romance are automatically lonely, unhappy and unfulfilled. it is usually characterized by the prioritization of romantic love over other forms of love, particularly platonic.

the anti-zutara argument based on this is as follows: wanting zutara to happen is amatonormative because it a) devalues zuko and katara’s platonic bond b) pushes the idea that men and women can’t be friends and c) doesn’t align with the themes of the show, as romantic love was never the point of atla.

i would like to take the time today to tell you that this is some fucking bullshit, for the following reasons:

one, this may come as a shock to some of you, but zutara shippers did not invent the concept of romantic love in avatar: the last airbender. you are more than welcome to criticize the pairings of suki/sokka, katara/aang, mai/zuko, yue/sokka, jin/zuko, jet/katara, and even kanna/pakku for perpetuating amatonormativity through their unnecessary romantic subplots. and if you don’t have anything to say about any of those pairings, then here’s a word for you: hypocrite.

zk shippers are not introducing the taint of romantic love into some kind of wholesome platonic utopia where it never existed. when we say zutara should have been canon, it is a statement that ends with the implicit instead of kat.aang and mai.ko tacked on at the back because if we were going to get a romantic relationship anyway, it might as well have been one that was well-developed, narratively impactful, and thematically relevant.

two, saying zutara is amatonormative is fucking rich when the main “romance” of atla is a three season long struggle to get out of the friendzone. aang’s desire to be in a romantic relationship with katara is one of his primary motivations throughout the show, and not once does either he or the narrative ever entertain the thought that just being katara’s friend might be enough. to the contrary, aang’s crush and the potential of its reciprocation is a fundamental part of how the story gets its audience to invest in both his character and the kat.aang relationship. they want you to want him to get the girl, and that’s the driving force of the ship’s development from start to finish.

you can see the influence of this in the way people defend why kat.aang had to happen: “aang would be crushed!” “it would break aang’s heart!” “aang deserves to be happy!” and that in and of itself is more amatonormative than any version of romantic zutara, as if this idea that aang is somehow doomed to a life of misery and loneliness just because he can’t be with the girl he likes isn’t inherently based on the assumption that platonic love can’t be as meaningful and satisfying as romantic love.

three, let’s be so fucking fr: a show written by cishet men in the early 2000s was not “subverting amatonormativity” by not making zutara happen, especially not when they went for the fucking olympic gold of romantic cliches — the hero gets the girl trope — instead. otherwise, why did the entire show end with an uncomfortably long liplock? if romance would’ve devalued zuko and katara’s platonic bond, then what the everloving fuck happened to their friendship in the comics and the legend of korra?

it is blatantly false to say that zutara shippers are the ones devaluing their platonic bond when the creators did it first. they evidently don’t view zutara’s platonic bond as equal to kat.aang’s romantic one, judging by their treatment of both relationships in the comics and LOK and the fact that they talked about kat.aang “winning” the ship war in the first place. because if the two relationships were of equivalent standing, why would there be a winner and a loser at all?

amatonormativity is baked into the DNA of atla, and while some people choose to reject this framework entirely (zk friendship >>> ka romance anyday), it is also not wrong for zk shippers to be annoyed at the treatment zutara received within the context of said framework. since the creators clearly thought a romantic relationship was better than a platonic one, they could at least have picked the couple that actually made sense instead of adding insult to injury by making that romance kat.aang. it is not amatonormative to acknowledge that zutara was not afforded the distinction it should have been in the eyes of those who wrote it, because it’s obvious that the decision to keep zuko and katara’s relationship platonic wasn’t to respect their friendship, but to position them as inferior to kat.aang.

four, detractors of romantic zutara often argue that their platonic relationship is inherently better & i’ve discussed before why that isn’t the case, but i also hate this argument because it’s perpetuating the very thing that aromantic people are trying to get rid of in the first place: the hierarchization of love. it is not the “gotcha!” you think it is to genuinely state that platonic love is better than romantic love, because it’s still buying into the idea that there’s some kind of order to categorizing human relationships. the solution to amatonormativity isn’t changing what form of love gets to be at the top of the list — it’s doing away with the hierarchy entirely.

i ship zuko and katara because canon already gave me their friendship. i already know what their platonic relationship looks like and that gives me more room for imagination in developing their romantic one because it’s a place canon didn’t go.

at the end of the day, friendship and romance are just different avenues of exploring intimacy. neither is inherently more valuable than the other, and neither is inherently more problematic. and if you truly believe in dismantling amatonormative beliefs, you would recognize that making a distinction between the two is only perpetuating the problem, not challenging it.

#zutara #anti kataang #anti atla #anti bryke #amatonormativity #thanks to you idiots now i have to be out here as a romance repulsed aro defending romantic love on main #i enjoy a friendship better than romance joke as much as the next aro #but if we’re using it as a genuine argument… come on now

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 35

Eminem x Female Reader Fanfiction

Synopsis : Reader is mad at Em after their heated argument and he does everything he can not to lose her.

Y/N’s POV 

You had decided to sleep in one of the guest rooms after your argument with Marshall. He had tried to reason with you, apologize for the millionth time and tell you he loved you but you just needed to be in a different room and not see or hear him. With him begging and pleading, it was impossible to process your feelings. After you locked yourself in the guest room, you heard him knock and apologize for a while but he eventually went away when he understood that you would not open the door, let alone talk to him. To say you were hurt would be the understatement of the year. How did he dare accuse you of lying ? How did he dare imply that you would not deserve to raise children when he knew full well that it was all that you wanted for yourself ? You understood that he might have said that out of anger, fear or whatever extreme emotion he might have felt in the moment but that was no excuse. And it did prove one thing : after knowing you for nearly two years, having witnessed you work towards recovery, he still saw you as an addict. This made you feel worthless, like everything you had done, all the meetings, the therapy sessions had done no good and that you would always be seen as the stupid girl who made a couple of bad decisions because she had a hard time handling trauma. Before messing with your anxiety prescription and eventually overdosing, you had never done a lot of drugs. You had never been the party type, drinking too much and experimenting with substances. The heaviest thing you had ever tried was smoking weed during trips to Amsterdam with your friends from college. You were not a crackhead, for crying out loud ! Looking at the bigger picture, your experience with drugs was limited and represented a few months. It could have been worse. You did not want to minimize your mistakes, but you also did not want them to be held against you for the rest of your life. You were twenty-eight, you still had a lifetime ahead of you. Three months messing with Xanax should not earn you a life sentence. And if Marshall thought different, to hell with him. 

Having him throw all these things in your face hurt on so many different levels and you cried yourself to sleep. Out of anger, sadness and frustration. And on top of that, you had to deal with the guilt of feeling unable to truly rejoice for Talia. You were feeling more lonely than ever. The last time you had felt this lonely was after you lost your baby. Simon was there physically but nowhere to be found on an emotional level and your friends, despite trying their best, did not really understand what you were going through. Now, things were different but also similar in a way : you couldn’t really talk to your friends and it was painfully obvious that your partner would not be of any support. All you had wanted for the night was to have some peace, some alone time and, eventually, Marshall’s arms to fall asleep in. Instead, you had an argument that led you to sleep in a guest room and a possible breakup on your mind. 

You didn’t want to break up with Marshall. Even after the awful things he threw in your face, you were still in love with him. It didn’t make sense. If anything, you should hate him. And in a way, you did. But you still loved him. The perspective of breaking up was making you sick to your stomach but what choice did you have, when the person you loved the most, the one who was supposed to protect you, be there for you and have your back did not respect you and thought of you as a failure ? Yes, he had apologized countless times and professed his love for you, but what good did it do if he saw you as an addict and a charity case ? 

The only reason you managed to sleep at all was from the exhaustion from crying. You had sobbed so much that your head was hurting when you woke up, your vision still blurry. That’s when you felt a presence in bed, next to you. You rubbed your eyes and saw Marshall laying there, staring at you intently with bloodshot eyes. You had locked the door behind you. What the hell was he doing here ? How long had he been staring at you for ? 

What are you doing here ? You asked in a raspy voice. How did you even get here ? 

Masterkey. Baby… I can’t sleep without you, he said. I don’t want to sleep without you. Not tonight. Not ever. 

So you thought you’d stare at me in my sleep like some sicko ? 

Y/N, I… Please don’t do this, he sighed. Don’t leave me. 

He was staring into your eyes, as if he were trying to read into your soul. He was wearing a white tank top and gray sweatpants. He knew full well that was the clothes you liked the most on him. You had told him countless times how sexy he was in them. And you had to admit that, laying on top of the covers, icy blue eyes and muscles on full display, he was a vision. Even when you were mad at him, he had you drooling and it was painfully unfair. 

Marshall…, you began. 

I can’t lose you, he pleaded. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t live without you. 

You hurt me, you said as you swallowed dryly. You really hurt me. 

I know, baby, I-

No you don’t ! You interjected. You have absolutely no idea how bad it hurts. This is worse than the time you told me I should have overdosed before we met. Losing this baby, it’s the worse thing that ever happened to me. How dare you tell me I shouldn’t get to be a mother ?! How dare you tell me that when it was my biggest dream and the reason for our breakup ? How dare the man I told everything about my miscarriage to, the one who consoled me when I was hurting, say something so mean when I gave up on this dream in order to be with him ?! 

I’m so sorry, he sobbed. I don’t deserve you. I know it. I fucked up. 

And I don’t deserve you either ! You spat.  I deserve better. You said you had my back. You said you were here for me. You were supposed to be my best friend in the world. You were supposed to protect me. You had me believing that I could recover. The man who gave me this fucking sobriety pendant and told me I wasn’t alone doesn’t believe in me and thinks I’m basically a crackhead ! 

No, Y/N, it’s not true, he said. I don’t think that at all. You’re so strong. I know it. I see it. 

Then why would you say what you said ? You cried. What good reason can you possibly have for hurting me this bad ? 

I… It’s hard to explain. 

The both of you were crying, laying in bed, staring at each other. Seeing Marshall in tears broke your heart but, hell, he had broken yours. You were mad at yourself for having so much empathy for him. He reached for your hand and, with the other, wiped his tears. 

Look, I know it’s no excuse, but… When I saw the tests, I freaked out, he said. Because it’s not even that I don’t want kids. I mean, I don’t, because I’ve had three beautiful daughters, I feel like my family is complete and, who wants to change diapers in their fifties anyway ? Or be mistaken for their child’s grandpa ? But really… When I thought you were pregnant, I was terrified. Because there is no fucking way I can be chill with the idea of having another baby when I put mine through so much. I traumatized my daughters. Their mom traumatized them too. Their parents were fucking zombies. They saw us struggle. No child should ever, ever see that. No kid should have to call 911 because their dad is dying on the bathroom floor, or have to wait for their mom to call them from jail. They should not have to say “Mom is in rehab. Again. She was sober for years but she relapsed and now she’s a mess”. I can’t even begin to tell you all about the times my kids didn’t have their parents with them for important events. Or the times when we were there but not mentally present. 

You stared at him in silence as he spoke. He had already told you about his addiction, how he had struggled, but he had never really spoken about the impact it had on his daughters, on his family. Tears were falling down his cheeks as he spoke and you could tell the memories were still vivid. 

And when I say that addicts are shitty parents, I’m just talking from my experience, he continued. No matter how much I’m trying now, no matter how long I’ve been sober, it doesn’t erase everything the girls have been through. And I can’t, in good conscience, have another child. Being an addict doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids to death. But it means that they have to put up with a lot and might end up having to care for you when, really, you’re the one who should take care of them. And I won’t even get into the bad genetics they might inherit. When I got back from the hospital, the girls had to take care of me. And throughout the years, they’ve had to take care of Kim, too. 

I know, you said. And I’m so sorry you had to go through this but… You were mean to me. You were cruel. 

I never meant to say you wouldn’t be a loving mother, he explained. Because there is absolutely no doubt in my mind about this. And I know it’s a sensitive subject for you. What I really meant to say is that, even though you’ve worked so hard, even though you’re doing so good, there is no certainty you won’t relapse at one point or another. It doesn’t mean I don’t trust you, it doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t be there for you if something happened. It means that it’s scaring the living shit out of me. I wouldn’t be able to handle having a kid with anyone, but if I’m being honest, I couldn’t handle the pressure of having one with you especially, because I’d be even more scared. 

You nodded sheepishly. When he put it in these words, it made more sense. You were still hurt but, in a way, you would see where he was coming from. 

But I realize that… It’s a me issue, for the most part, you know ? He finally said. And I guess that, just because it’s the way I see things doesn’t mean it has to be true for you. I know we’re in different situations. 

Yes, you said with tears in your eyes. Because for me… It was three months, Marshall. I only used for three months. And it doesn’t change the fact that I made mistakes. But I don’t want to be thought of as an addict for the rest of my life. Because that’s not who I am. It shouldn’t have to define who I am. And I will not have you think of me as a charity case.

I know, he agreed. I fucked up. I’m sorry. But I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you. For the record, I don’t think of you as an addict. And you are not a charity case. You have never been. Even at the beginning, we bonded over the topic of addiction and I wanted to be there for you, but it was never about charity or whatever. Or maybe it was, but with me being the damn charity case. 

I never saw you like that, you said. 

Before I met you, I was a fucking mess, you know ? He said. I was sober for fifteen years, I was doing good on paper, but I wasn’t… I wasn’t happy. I never really thought I could be. Content, maybe. But happy ? No. You’re the one who showed me what true happiness looks like. You were never a fucking charity case, Y/N. You’re the air I breathe. 

You could see the sincerity in his eyes. He was holding your hand in his and staring at you. Things seemed a bit clearer now but you weren’t ok. Maybe he didn’t actually mean all the things he’d said, but you still took them to heart. You stared back at him, not saying much. And if you weren’t pushing him away, you weren’t exactly making a move in his direction either. You were just sitting in bed, feeling emotionally drained. 

I’m really sorry, you know, he reiterated. I know I’ve said that a hundred million times tonight, but I mean it. Can you forgive me ? 

I… I don’t know, you said blandly. 

I’ll do whatever it takes, Y/N, he said. I swear to God, all you have to do is tell me what to do and I’ll fucking do it. I’ll jump in front of a train, I’ll sell a kidney, I’ll take my heart out of my chest and offer it to you. Anything. 

Can you… Leave me alone ? You asked. 

He looked absolutely heartbroken and you didn’t want to hurt him but, at the same time, you didn’t want a sacrifice. What you wanted, what you really needed was time and space. You looked at him as he swallowed dryly. There was a hint of panic in his eyes. 

Please don’t leave, he pleaded. 

I need time, Marshall, you explained. I need space. 

Please, he begged. 

He cupped your face and whispered to you how much he loved you, how much he needed you. “I can’t lose you”, he kept on saying. He then proceeded to kiss your forehead, your cheeks, your lips… He seemed virtually unable to let go of you. You burst into tears as soon as his lips touched yours and he held you as you sobbed in his arms, repeating how sorry he was. Your tears were getting his tank top wet but he didn’t seem to care. He kept on spilling soft kisses on your face, holding you close. You let him kiss you as you clutched his top. His hands slowly started to wander, gently stroking your thighs. “Let me show you how much I love you”, he whispered before kissing you. You enjoyed his touch, the warmth of his embrace… But something was still off. You didn’t feel in the right headspace. You knew he loved you, but you didn’t feel safe on an emotional level. 

Marshall… No, you simply whispered. 

Are you alright ? He asked. What can I do ? 

Please, just leave, you asked with tears in your eyes. 

He bit his lower lip but eventually nodded. He stroked your cheek with a worried look before getting up and walking towards the door. He took one last look at you as you muttered an apology. After he closed the door, you let your head fall onto the pillow. 

MARSHALL’S POV 

After leaving Y/N alone in the guest bedroom, Marshall was unable to sleep. He had fucked up big time, he knew it. And now, she might leave his sorry ass. For good, this time. The perspective of her walking away from him again was making him sick to his stomach. He kept on thinking he’d done everything wrong in their relationship, perhaps from the start. All he wanted was to give her the very best in life but he kept on fucking up, on saying the wrong things, on letting his anger and past trauma take over. Perhaps he was right when he said he’d end up alone. He was consumed by self-loathing and self-hatred, with absolutely no clue as to how he could possibly make things right (assuming it was even possible). His mind kept on going to the darkest places. He’d always been prone to weird, dark and intrusive thoughts but it’d been a long time since he had felt this way. Ever since they had gotten back together, life had been sunshine and candy. Now, it was the contrary. He kept on filling pages upon pages in his notebook with words, rhymes, schemes, phrases… If anyone ever found this, they would probably call a psych ward to have him committed. His lyric sheets had always resembled the scribblings of a mad man - something a lot of people made fun of him for - but these pages were something else. They were deeply disturbing. Probably because that’s exactly what his thoughts were. Disturbing. After a night alone in the living room, staring at the ceiling and writing, he decided not to go to the studio. Whenever he was having a bad day, going to work and keeping up with his rigorous 9 to 5 schedule usually helped but, this time, he didn’t have it in him to get ready, get in his car and go to work like nothing happened. Not when Y/N might be gone by the time he would come back. So much for their first holiday as a family. For the perfect future he had planned for them. For all the places he wanted to take her. All the plans he wanted to make. He couldn’t imagine facing his family and telling them that he had fucked up. He could already see the look of disappointment on his daughters’ faces. They had managed for Y/N to get back to him only for him to ruin everything. 

He was laying on the couch when he heard her come down. He immediately went to see her. 

Hey, he said. 

Good morning, she replied. 

Did you sleep well ? He asked in a sad attempt to make small talk and connect with her. 

Not really, she admitted. Aren’t you late for work ? 

I’m not going, he said. Not today. Look… Can we talk ? 

I came to talk to you, actually, she said. I have made up my mind. About leaving. 

For a few seconds, she didn’t say anything and time seemed frozen. He found himself unable to breathe as he stared at her, waiting for her to elaborate and put him out of his misery. He needed to know. These few seconds were absolute torture. The nine circles of hell. 

So ? He asked nervously. 

I don’t want to leave, Marshall, she said. I want to give us a chance. 

Thank God, he sighed as he went for an embrace. 

But, she said intently as she put distance between the two of them, I need time. 

O-ok, he said. Sure. Whatever you need, baby. Whatever you want. I told you, I’ll do anything, I’ll give you whatever you ask for. 

Would you consider therapy ? She asked carefully. 

I already do therapy, he replied with a puzzled look on his face.

You haven’t been to therapy since we came back from Europe, she pointed out. And I know that it’s mostly addiction counseling. With everything you told me yesterday, it’s clear that you have unresolved trauma that you should work on. So that you don’t take it out on me. And so that you can move on. 

I-I don’t think it’s something you can move from, he said honestly. But yeah, sure. If that’s what it takes, I’ll do it. 

Ok, she said. Thank you. 

Is that all ? He asked nervously. 

And I’m taking over the guest bedroom, she added. 

You want to sleep apart ?! He blurted out. 

I told you I need time, she said. Marsh, I… I love you. With all my heart. And I know you’re sorry. But I’m still hurt. And I have a lot to process. I’ll still be in the house, I’m not moving out. 

Ok, he sighed. 

He wasn’t happy about the prospect of spending more nights away from her, but at least she wasn’t moving out and that was enough for him to be able to breathe properly again. He would just have to suffer through it and do his best not to fuck things up. Y/N went to her appointment and he waited patiently, not too sure what to do. When she came back, she informed him that Talia would be coming over. No offense to Y/N’s best friend, but he had absolutely no wish to see anyone, so he simply decided to retreat in his home studio, trying to at least do something with all the lyrics he had written. Putting together tracks and getting the words out of his head was therapeutic, more so than any amount of time he would spend in a shrink’s office. He’d seen therapists before. When he started addiction counseling, he’d been advised to seek help regarding his childhood trauma, but he wasn’t too keen. So therapy had mainly been focused on his anger issues, his anxiety regarding work and addiction. He wasn’t a big fan of therapy, but if that’s what it took for Y/N to forgive him, he would bite the bullet. When he went back to the living room, at the end of the day, he was spent and his voice was raspy. He had been yelling in the mic a bit more than he usually did but, at least, his mind was a bit clearer. He found Y/N and Talia on the couch, drinking tea and looking at bridal magazines. 

Hi Em, Talia said with a huge smile before hugging him. 

Hey, he said. How’s wedding planning going ? 

Lots to do, she said as she gestured to the pile of notebooks and magazines on their coffee table. By the way… Are you free two months from today ? 

I’d have to check with Tracy about my schedule, he shrugged. Why ? 

Because I’m getting married, she shrieked ! We have a date ! 

That’s… soon, he pointed out. 

Well, I told Y/N not to tell you, and we’re not telling people yet, but you’re Jamal’s best man so you might as well know… We’re having a baby ! 

He looked at Y/N who was standing behind Talia, gesturing to him not to say anything. Obviously he wasn’t supposed to know. He smiled and congratulated her. He could see a sullen expression on his girlfriend’s face while Talia was talking about how Jamal took the news. Apparently, he was surprised but overjoyed and they decided to get married before she started showing. Y/N was smiling but he could see that she was not doing too well. Given everything he knew about how hard losing her own baby had been for her, it wasn’t too surprising. 

So, anyway, we’re going to need all the help we can get, Talia said. Can we count on you, Em ? 

Sure, he sighed. But don’t count on me to help pick flowers or stuff like that… 

Can you at least hook Jamal with one of your stylists so that he has a decent tux ? Oh, and if you know a venue we can use, too… I mean, I bet you’ve visited a few between Hailie’s engagement and Alaina’s wedding. 

None that can fit your guest list, he chuckled. Jamal has told me about it. Nothing that’s available two months from now can accommodate 350 guests ! 

Believe it or not, they have actually agreed to shrink it down, Y/N said with a slight grin. We’re down to 50 guests. 

Only because we’re having a second wedding after the baby is born, Talia warned. This is basically eloping. With a few guests, a party and an actual ceremony. 

So it’s an actual wedding, he said. 

Y/N and Talia went back to their wedding planning. From what he gathered, his girlfriend would have her hands full for the next two months. He went to chill in his office for a bit, listening to some music. When it was dinner time, he went to see Y/N and ask if she wanted to have dinner but found her on the couch, curled into a ball. She was crying and seemed in pain. Talia was gone. 

Baby, what’s wrong ?! He asked as he checked on her. 

Nothing, she mumbled. I got an IUD inserted this morning and I’m having contractions and cramps. They said it’s normal, though. 

I’m sorry, he said. Is there anything I can do ? 

Don’t worry about it, she said. 

She tried to move and pick her phone from the table but even that seemed too hard to do for her. 

You seemed fine, earlier, he commented. 

They gave me pain medication immediately after but it’s starting to wear off, she explained. Plus, I didn’t want to worry Talia, you know ? 

Right, he said. Don’t you have any pain meds you can take ? 

They prescribed some for me but they warned me it was pretty strong so I didn’t pick up the prescription. 

Oh, he said. Do you want me to take you to the doctor ? ER ? 

It’s fine, she said. Don’t worry about it. 

Maybe you should have taken the prescription, he commented. I don’t like seeing you in pain. 

I still don’t fully trust myself, you know ? She said as she nervously played with her sobriety pendant.

You’re stronger than you think, Y/N, he replied. I mean it. 

No you don’t, she huffed. 

Yeah I do, he insisted. Remember, when we started hanging out, when I told you nothing would happen between us ? I thought your sobriety was too new and I was scared But you proved me wrong. You’re doing so good. It’s impressive. 

Thanks, she said sheepishly. 

You never cease to amaze me, you know ? 

She blushed and smiled a little. Watching her act so shy made him realize what an asshole he’d been for failing to protect that smile. She was too precious and she had absolutely no idea about it. All he wanted to do was to take care of her. And that was exactly his plan. 

I wanted to know if you were hungry. Do you want to eat dinner ? He asked. 

Sure, why not, she said as she started to get up. 

Stay here, he said. I’ll cook. 

I can do it, she assured him. 

You’re not in the state to cook, he pointed out. Let me take care of you, ok ? 

Before she got a chance to protest, he went to get her hot water bottle, her favorite blanket, a hoodie and the book on her bedside table and brought them to her before heading to the kitchen and preparing something to eat. They ate in relative silence. He couldn’t speak for her but he wasn’t too sure what to say. At that point, he’d apologized enough times that she knew for a fact how sorry he was. She was a bit distant but, at this point, she didn’t seem too mad either. Ever since they started dating, it was the first time they had an argument that wasn’t solved in the next hour. With anyone else, he wouldn’t have cared too much but with Y/N, he hated it, probably because he realized it was his first serious, loving relationship with someone who had a rather healthy outlook on relationships. No shade to Kim, he had truly loved her but, looking back, he knew they’d been doomed from the beginning, always scheming and playing games. Y/N, on the other hand, had always been brutally honest, when she made it clear that she was attracted to him, or when she broke up with him to stay true to her dreams. He’d always been used to his partners bending their own rules in order to be with him, wanting to be with him at all costs even if it meant that the whole thing would be unhealthy and disingenuous, but Y/N was not like that. She was honest and true. She would rather leave than take bullshit and, even for his fifty-two year-old self, it was intimidating. 

Thank you for taking care of me, she said softly. 

I take my job seriously, he said with a slight smile. I promised to care for you and I fully intend to stick to the plan. 

You don’t have to, you know ? 

I want to, he replied. How’s the pain ? 

The water bottle helps, she shrugged. I think I’ll go to bed, though. I’m tired. 

Before she could get up, he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up before carrying her up the stairs. She gasped in surprise but let him. She was securing herself with her arms around his neck. 

You know… I could have walked, she pointed out. 

Oh. Too late, he said innocently - enjoying the contact with her far too much. 

He let her down on the bed in the guest bedroom. For a split second, he considered bringing her to their bedroom but he wanted her to see he respected her decision, however strongly he might disagree with it. He wasn’t sure how he could be expected to sleep well without her. Last night had been a nightmare, just like any night without her. In retrospect, it was a miracle he hadn’t ended up in the hospital in the six months they’d been apart. He had gotten so little rest. To be fair, he had Talia and Jamal to thank for keeping him somewhat sane and healthy. He wouldn’t have been able to release the album and tour otherwise. Hopefully, this time, he wouldn’t have to sleep without her for the next six months. 

So, do you need anything ? He asked as he tried to hide his nervosity. 

I think I’ll be fine, she replied with a soft smile. 

Look, I saw the look on your face, earlier, when Talia was here, he said. Are you sure you’re alright ? 

I’m triggered, that’s all, she said as she looked down. These contractions are bringing memories. So does Talia’s pregnancy. If I’m being honest, I’m having a bit of a… hard time rejoicing for her. 

Tears were welling in her eyes and he could not resist the urge to hold her. He sat on the bed and pulled her in his arms. She looked at him with a sad look on her face. 

I’m a terrible person, she muttered under her breath. My best friends are having a baby and I’m thinking about myself. 

You’re not, he assured her. Considering what you’ve been through, it’s absolutely understandable. And I guess I didn’t really help last night, with my shitty remarks…

Not really, she admitted.

You’re a great friend, Y/N, he said reassuringly. You just need a little time. 

I guess, she shrugged. Plus, they deserve to have a happy family life, you know ? That’s everything Talia’s ever wanted. They’re going to be amazing parents. 

They are, he nodded. And they’re pretty lucky to have you, too. 

You think ? She sighed. 

Of course, he said. You’re always there for people. Look, you’re even putting together their wedding at the last minute. 

That’s the least I can do, you know ? They’ve always been so good to me. I just want to make them happy. 

He pressed a kiss to her temple and she gave him a weak smile. 

I think I should sleep, she said softly. 

Ok, he replied. Call me if you need anything ? 

Sure. Thanks, Marshall. 

They stared at each other in silence. Sleeping in separate rooms felt unnatural and he could tell she felt it too. He reluctantly left her and went to their room, though he knew for a fact he wouldn’t be able to sleep. 

In the following days, things seemed to ease up a little. Y/N was still a little distant and keeping to herself but, from the looks of it, she could see he was making efforts. He tried not being too obvious and not sucking up to her too much but he also wanted her to see that he was serious when he said he would do whatever it takes. They managed to have small talks and ate dinner together in front of the TV before going to sleep - still in separate rooms. As for physical intimacy, it was sparse. The only thing he got away with was holding her hand. It was incredibly frustrating - having her so close but so far away at the same time while trying his best to get her to forgive him. He was nervously beating around the bush, avoiding the topic but it was driving him crazy. In all of his previous relationships, it would have led to angry sex and the matter would have been settled and buried only to be dug up for the next argument. Not very healthy but, at least, he wouldn’t have to sleep alone. Thankfully, the evening before Thanksgiving, the universe seemed to be on his side. When he got back from the studio, he found Y/N in the home theater, preparing to watch a movie. 

Hey, he said. Mind if I join you ? 

Sure, she replied with a smile. How was your day ? 

It was alright, he said. What are we watching ? 

You can choose, she offered. I just wanted to get my mind off flower arrangements for a minute. 

Horror movie ? He suggested. I bet we can find one where a bridezilla gets killed, that might comfort you. 

Hey, Talia’s not that bad, she giggled. But yeah, let’s go for horror ! 

She seemed in a good mood, which was a good sign. They settled on a movie and he joined her on the couch. In all honesty, he couldn’t care less about the movie - all he wanted was to be with her. And the only reason he had suggested watching a horror movie was because he knew she was chicken-hearted and, at that point, he would take any excuse and opportunity to hold her. If that implied relying on a jumpscare scene, so be it. He usually had better moves than that with the ladies, but this felt like a last resort. Sure enough, a scary scene came up and he saw her jump up a bit. He tried to hide a smile and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She muttered a “thank you” and focused on the movie. Every time the atmosphere got tense in the movie, he could feel her squirming and nervously bite her lip. And every single time, he pulled her a bit closer to him, until her legs were practically over his. He was almost brought back to the times when they were just friends and every brush against her took his breath away. Being with her, he had gotten used to the proximity, but now that she had deprived him of her touch, it felt the same as before. She took him by surprise by reaching for his hand and interlocking their fingers. He was feeling like a teenager on his first date at the movies. Should he try and kiss her ? Or would it ruin the moment ? It was stupid how much power she had over him. How nervous she could make him, and her ability to make him fall for her all over again just by holding hands. Another jumpscare scene occurred and she let out a small scream before hiding her face in his neck. God bless horror movies. He couldn’t contain a small laugh. 

You’re enjoying this, aren’t you ? She whispered accusingly. 

I missed this, he admitted. I missed you. 

I missed you too, you know ? 

She looked at him and he could not resist the temptation to capture her lips with his own. She immediately kissed him back, her lips feeling softer than ever. Four days without her touch was way too long. He could feel his heart rate increasing as her lips parted and their tongues found each other. He ran his fingers through her hair while she traced his shoulders with her fingers. Her touch was electrifying and he simply couldn’t get enough. He kissed her over and over again. 

I love you, he whispered. I love you so much. 

I love you too, she said emotionally. 

I need you, he pleaded. Let me make love to you. 

Ok, she whispered, her breath accelerating. 

As soon as she spoke, he did not waste time and got up before taking her hand and leading her to the bedroom. Their bedroom. He closed and locked the door behind them, making it clear that she was not going anywhere. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to want to. She was looking at him in anticipation. He went back to her and kissed her passionately before pushing her on the bed. He took his time making love to her, enjoying her soft moans and the sensation of her legs around his waist. Her nails scratched his back as she cried his name when they both reached their apex. He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck as they caught their breath. 

You’re incredible, he said lovingly. And I’m never letting you out of this room ever again. 

Really ? She giggled. 

Try me, he said with a grin. 

She gave him a playful look and tried to get out of bed but he held her even closer, causing her to struggle a little. She tried wrestling him, but to no avail. Eventually, she gave in to his warm embrace and let her head roll onto his chest. 

So… I guess I have no choice but to sleep here tonight ? 

Don’t tell me you were seriously thinking about sleeping in the other room ? He groaned. 

Not really, she confessed with a small smile. I don’t like sleeping apart. I hate being mad at you, you know ? 

And I hate it when you’re mad at me, he replied. I’ll do better. I promise. 

I know, she shrugged. Sorry it took me a while to cool off. 

I really hurt you, he said. I understand. But just so you know, I want to do everything I can to deserve you. 

In all fairness, it wasn’t just you, you know ? She explained. It was a lot to process in very little time. I was triggered and brought back to some tough memories. I needed a little time on my own… 

I get it, he said. I missed you, though. 

I missed you too, she said. 

I don’t want to lose you, Y/N, he said in all seriousness. 

I know, she said. I’m still here. 

He nodded and closed his eyes, relaxing a bit as she traced the outline of his tattoos with her index. She let out a small giggle as she looked at his stomach tattoo. 

What ? He asked as he opened an eye. 

I just remembered I’m meeting the woman whose name I see every time I go down on you, she said with a smirk. 

He was a bit taken aback by the comment. She was smiling but it was the first time she commented on Kim’s name being tattooed on him. He’d had these for so long that he tended to forget about them anyway. Now that she mentioned seeing the tattoo every time she went down on him, though, he was feeling a bit self-conscious about it.

Is that a problem ? He asked with a raised eyebrow. The tattoo ? 

Not really, she shrugged. I don’t really see it, most of the time, you know. It’s just kind of funny, when you think about it. 

Right, he hummed. So… You’re not too stressed out about tomorrow ? 

I don’t know, she said. It’s still weird but, realistically speaking, I don’t have anything to worry about, right ? 

Of course not, he said. 

I’ll be fine, then, she replied. I guess I’m curious, though. 

About what ? He asked with his eyebrows furrowed. 

About her, she said. You had a complicated relationship with her. 

That’s one way to put it, he said. But, you know, as far as I’m concerned, she’s more like an old friend, and I know it’s the same for her. I’m just good old annoying Marshall. So, really, you have nothing to worry about. 

I know, she said with a smile. And when I start freaking out about it, I remember that you’re not married to her anymore. 

She was smiling softly, visibly at peace with the situation. That was encouraging and a good sign for the next day’s celebrations. However, he was starting to feel his anxiety rise once again. Right when he thought everything was getting back to normal and that he could enjoy Thanksgiving in peace, his past had to come and bite him in the ass. Y/N was looking at him lovingly and he could not find it in himself to contradict her. The only problem was, by saying nothing, he was lying to her face. He was still very much married to Kim.

#eminem #marshall mathers #slim shady #eminem fanfiction #recovery fanfiction #eminem x reader #eminem fluff #marshall mathers x reader #marshall mathers imagine #eminem imagine

[vent-stink]

inspired by @bunnliix's "The Point of No Return"

Things were a blur after they found his girlfriend's body. He had to make a statement, attend her funeral, and perform the next weekend of Coachella, all in such a short amount of time. His members tried to convince him not to do the next set, but he had to. There was no other safe way to release his anger than through his fierce on-stage personality.

People could tell that his demeanor was a lot more... well, less easy going. Every look, now, instead of the ease and happiness with which he performed before, was replaced with seriousness. He never smiled.

Fans were quick to notice this, and considering the events of the previous week, they praised him for not bringing on a stellar performance despite his clear shift in mood.

What they didn't expect was for him to never smile again.

He had a lot to think about after the second set at Coachella. He finally took his break before their next comeback, but he was debating on whether he could continue being an idol at all. He felt betrayed by the so-called Atinys who had done this and feared that he could never look at any Atiny the same way again.

He decided that this was his dream, and he wasn't going to let a few criminals have power by changing the course of his entire life more than they already had. He also knew his girlfriend wouldn't have wanted that for him.

And despite internally not being able to separate real Atinys from the murderers who took his love from him, he still knew that it wasn't their fault as a whole. They didn't deserve to be punished for what someone else did.

So, he continued his career with some limits. Fan interactions, especially one-on-one, were completely stopped. This meant no fan calls or meetings and even if an Atiny happened to see him at an airport or in a restaurant, he would not acknowledge them. He didn't do this consciously, but he couldn't bear to look at them.

On stage, he couldn't bring himself to perform with ease since the last time he had, a tragedy had occured. He could never smile in front of Atinys again. Thankfully that didn't stop them from loving him and supporting him, and even when there were a few netizens who criticized him for it, they were quickly squashed.

Hongjoong's trauma ran deep, and he could never forget his girlfriend's lifeless body and the cruel way in which she'd been taken from him. Continuing his career despite his grief was his "fuck you" to the people who had done this. Now they'd never get to meet him (before or after their jailtime) since he'd stopped all interactions with his fans.

In future contents, he often refer to his passed girlfriend as his wife since she would have been had she not been taken from him. In other members' lives, some Atinys complained about Hongjoong, to which they all told Atinys to be patient with him because he was grieving.

Hongjoong's demeanor with his loved ones didn't change as drastically as with Atinys. He was a lot more melancholy, but with his family and his members, he felt safe.

His members' hearts broke seeing their captain as a shell of the man he used to be, but they try their best to fill the gaps, hoping that Hongjoong would be able to find happiness again one day.

#ateez imagines #ateez x reader #ateez #hongjoong #kim hongjoong #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong ateez #kim hongjoong x reader #chellateez #Ateez angst #atz #atz hongjoong #Yo I wrote this whole thing while pooping

[wand3rlustm3]

BEOMGYU - NEED A RIDE?

Warnings: sub!reader, fem!reader, brat!reader, dom!Beomgyu, car sex, drinking, degradation + praise, unprotected sex (pls use condoms), beomgyu is so mean

You knew that it was really stupid to get so drunk that you couldn't even call yourself a taxi. Thankfully, you were at a party hosted by five of the most trustworthy guys at your college, or there was a large possibility of something terrible happening to you. The music was bouncing off of the walls, and the bass was deep enough to make your soul tremble. Not to mention the fact that your head was spinning, and you felt fuzzy and numb but in the best way possible. That's what Soobin comes up to you with some water to contrast the harsh alcohol you've been drinking, he walks up to you with worry and suggests that you go home. But to that, you slur out, "Soooo– biiiin....I'm okayyy! I can call my- myself- a taaaaxiiii..."

Soobin would let out a small chuckle, but he's too worried about you to think the situation is funny. "Y/n, please let me tell beomgyu to drive you home. He's ready to leave as well." You were friends with all of the party's hosts, so you were in luck when you heard that Beomgyu would be willing to drop you off. As you said your goodbyes to Soobin and the other hosts, Beomgyu chuckled at how childlike you'd gotten after a few drinks. "Gyuuu...everything's s- spinning...hahah" you slurred some more, and finished up your sentence with a cute little giggle.

"Come on, y/n, let's go, I got you." Beomgyu decided to support your staggering form by putting your arm on his shoulder and his hand ghosting on your waist. Beomgyu slightly lifted you bridal style into the seat of his red Ferrari, gently placing your legs into the car and taking your heels off. As Beomgyu started the car, the sound of his exhaust was almost like the music at the party. The little black dress you were wearing was so uncomfortable and tight, and your bra was so stuffy. You just wanted to be relaxed now that you were in his car. So you chose to take off your bra from under your dress. Beomgyu noticed you reaching at your back, but focused on the road. He wanted to be as respectful to you as he could while you were drunk, so he chose to ignore the situation.

Until your whiney voice cut the silence in the car, "gyuuuuu~ please help meee!! I wan' it off!!" Beomgyu was naturally flustered, it's not like he was inexperienced, but it was more of the fact that you looked beautiful and he hadn't come to terms with the fact that he did have a crush on you. "ugh y/n, can't you wait till I drop you home?" said Beomgyu as he tried to focus on the road once again, instead of the headlights of oncoming traffic shining onto your breasts. "Nooooooo gyuuuu! I wan' it off right now. Help me pleaseeeee" you demanded as you writhed in his passenger seat trying to reach your bra hooks.

"Tch.....fine y/n, I'll do it." Beomgyu said as he reached for your bra clasp while one of his hands remained on the steering wheel. It took him very little time to undo the clasp on your bra, but his warm hands on your back were so pleasant that you had mewled while he was doing it. Beomgyu felt all his blood rush to his core as soon as he heard you make such....interesting sounds. "Thankkkkkk you Gyuuuu", you passed him one more drunken smile as you took off your bra and threw it by your legs. Your house was now 5 minutes away according to the GPS, and those 5 minutes felt like 5 years to Beomgyu because of how flustered he was. As soon as his car pulled up in front of your house, he got up from the driver's side and opened the suicide door to the passenger side.

He gently wrapped his hand around your wrist as he led you out of his car, and carried you up the steps with your heels in his hand. Both you and Beomgyu had forgotten the bra in the car, but the plus side of this was the fact that he can make fun of you for it for the rest of your friendship. After he had seen you walk into your house, he made sure you'd lock it and go straight to your room. He didn't know he'd have to think about you the entire car ride home, and neither did he think this would become a ritual for you both whenever there's a party.

It's not that you didn't have a car yourself, but it's more that you were used to looking at Beomgyu in the driver's seat after every party. So when Beomgyu pulls up in your driveway with you expectantly waiting outside, you're not surprised.

"Need a ride, y/n?" he asked as one of his lip corners raised into a half smile. You happily opened the door to his car and took a seat, "Gyu, of course!" But you don't know why you even responded to his question that you both knew the answer to. He played some of his favorite songs on the music system. The leather of his car seats felt a little too familiar and cozy. Most of all, the coziest was the fragrance that Beomgyu sprayed his clothes with each time he picked you up. You couldn't deny the fact that each time you stopped at a stoplight, the red reflecting off of his perfectly etched features turned you on. You were soaking wet, and your panties were getting sticky and uncomfortable. So, as you did a few months ago, you were going to ask Beomgyu to take them off for you even though you weren't drunk this time.

You suddenly snaked your hand around his wrist and pulled it into your lap. "Gyu...can you take my panties off? I'm so uncomfortable..." You whisper into his ear as you lean into his side, as the center console armrest digs into the side of your rib. "Y/n, stop fucking with me." Beomgyu spoke as he let out a sigh. You put your hand on his thigh and slowly brought it closer to his cock. You can hear the car accelerate as he drives a little faster, almost as fast as your heart's racing. "Gyu, I'm not fucking with you, I need you.." You speak as you focus on the way his jaw clenches as he pulls into an empty parking lot.

"Get in the backseat right now, y/n, we aren't going to that damn party." Beomgyu says to you, but you can sense the anger in his words. "Okay gyu.." You smirk as the thoughts of what he's going to do to you flood your mind. As you crawl into the backseat, he opens the door and gets in with you. With his hand squishing your cheeks, he scolds you as he says, "You've been a slut since I first drove you home, haven't you? Wanted to fuck you so bad since that day, but I had to go home and rut into my hand." Beomgyu spoke with no filter, and that only made you even wetter than you already were. "Gyu...please. touch me, strip me, I'm losing my mind." Beomgyu took no time in crashing his lips onto yours in a fiery kiss, he couldn't take it anymore and slipped his tongue into your mouth as his hands roamed around your body. He kept kissing you, until he finally bit your lip and you moaned. "Fucking slut, riling me up all the time...do you even know what you do to me?"

Beomgyu unzipped the back of your dress and threw it somewhere in his car, and pulled you into his lap as he sat down. He made sure to pay special attention to your beautiful tits as he left several marks on them, leaving open-mouthed kisses, as he switched between sucking your pebbled nipples. He slapped your breasts and watched them jiggle, as you yelped and jumped a little bit in his lap. "Gyu..." you spoke his name with tears in your eyes. "Not such a brat now, are you?" said Beomgyu as he smirked. As he finally took your panties off, along with his underwear, you sat on his lap with his cock sliding between your folds. You couldn't help but move your hips against him, to which he stopped as he smacked your ass hard enough to leave a handprint. "Brats don't get what they want, you'll not move your hips an inch until I tell you to." Beomgyu demanded.

Beomgyu laughed dryly, "Is this what you thought when i asked if you needed a ride? Fuckin whore." He asked. "Beomgyu please, i'm going insane!" You felt tears running down your face as you begged him to be inside you finally, you didn't need much prep to begin with simply because of the puddle of slick you'd left on his cock from simply grinding against it earlier. As soon as he slipped inside of you, you started crying even more. As soon as he saw tears leaving your eyes, he had this cocky expression on his face. "Crying over my cock, are you now?" Beomgyu taunts. You can't respond, so you simply sniffle and hide your face into his neck. So Beomgyu slips his hand into your hair and yanks your face back, "I need to see you cry, pretty. Such a beautiful little slut for me."

Beomgyu thrusted into you from the bottom, the sounds of your ass slapping against his hips was so erotic that you were going lose it. He brushed against your sensitive spot each time he thrusted into you, and you felt the knot that was about to unravel. "Ahh— mmmh g- gonn' cummm gyu..." You moaned as he sucked more marks into your neck. "You gonna be a good girl and cum for me finally? Cum for me, you slut." Beomgyu said as he hissed into your ears.

"Fuuuuuck, I love you. Can't be without you, need to rut into you just like this." He said between grunts and whines. "C- c— cum inside me, gyuu, p- please!" As you feel his warm cum leak into you, you cum and your walls suck him in even harder as you milk him dry. He pulls you onto his lips by wrapping his hand around your neck into one long and passionate kiss as you both ride out your highs. "Did you mean that gyu? When you said you loved me?" You said as you hid your face in the crook of his warm and soft neck.

"Meant every word, darling. If this is what you meant by me picking you up for a ride, you better be prepared." He said as he kissed up your neck, licking over the dark spots blooming on your neck in colors like violet and red.

#beomgyu #txt beomgyu #txt beomgyu smut #txt smut #smut #beomgyu x reader #txt

[jean0farc]

・┆✦ 𝐍𝐎 𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐄 ✦┆・

Yandere! Blade X Reader | 1.4k

Author’s Note: Something new to practice my writing. Please don’t mind the cringe, I’m just trying to write for the sake of making it clear that I’m still active.

Warnings: mild possessive behavior.

A loud, thundering bang akin to an explosion echoed throughout the entirety of Xianzhou Loufu, its harmful impact colliding with your figure before you could even dodge the attack. All it took was one hit that instantly brought you to your knees, your limbs desensitized from external sources of throbbing pain. Blade was never one to give his opponents a chance to run, and your petite stature wasn’t one of his reasons to spare you mercy. Your eyes darted onto what appeared to be blood oozing from your hands, as if you were close to admitting defeat. Trembling past your fallen state, your eyebrows furrowed in an attempt to protest against Blade’s antics.

“You just don’t understand how it feels, do you?” you called out. “Out of millions of worthy enemies, you dared challenge me?”

Thankfully, you could still speak amidst your frail body struggling past the paralysis you were experiencing. Blade didn’t give you much time to recover, instead, he sneered against your ways of protest.

“I’m left with no other choice. You know the consequences of resisting further. I’ve requested that the Stellaron bring you to me peacefully without a fight breaking out. But since you refuse every time, I’m left with no other choice but to challenge you into a duel. And it turns out that you lost. So give it up.”

Blade’s steps grew more audible as they paced themselves menacingly towards your body, limp and weak on the ground. You couldn’t get up, it’d be against the rules of nature if you were ever able to get up. Bending over to bring himself towards you, you felt his hand wrap around your throat in an intensity he liked.

Blade let out a smirk, squeezing the sides gently while you looked up at him with a merciful expression.

“Don’t disappoint me.” he sneered. “After all, I never asked you to leave my side.”

You weren’t obliged to reply, only leading you to spit back at him as he chuckled condescendingly. You expected Blade to feel turned off by your antics, only for his vision to narrow as he eyed you from head to toe.

“A little feisty, are we?” Blade mocked. “Hah. This is what you get for running around in circles and resisting the Stellaron’s demands.”

“You’ll never own me,” you snapped. “I don’t care about how many duels I have to lose just to break free from seeing you. But reading the letter made me realize you only want me to ease your suffering. Which I refuse to do.”

“I don’t recall you winning a duel against the Stellaron Hunters.” Blade chuckled. “Like I said, I’ll always be haunting you provided your refusal to give in to my desires.”

“….And what desires do you have in mind for me?” you asked.

“Why don’t you find out for yourself?” Blade replied, grinning at your prideful stare that gave off a false sense of innocence. “After all, I don’t want to wait any longer. You’re coming with me.”

“Wh—“

With that, you winced in discomfort as Blade’s strength supported your weight. His arms gripping your waist and back, he picked you up just like that, without any ounce of effort whatsoever. Next thing you know, you were being lifted up like a baby bridal style, leaving you intimately exposed to his musky scent.

“Put me down, you freak!” you exclaimed.

“From now on, our relationship is going to change.” Blade said as he walked away with your body in his arms, amused at your refusal to admit defeat. “You’ll tell me everything about how your day went, from where you came from, and what you really want. You won’t hold back. You’re going to be in my property, and whoever gets in our way gets an answer from my sword. Do you understand?”

“Where do you think you’re going? Put me the fuck down! What I want is to be free from Stellaron Hunters like you!!!”

“I’m afraid that will pass on my watch. You’ll never leave me. I made up my mind that I shall keep you in my arms for as long as the Aeons allow us to be together. So don’t resist, [Name].”

“Where are we going?!” you asked.

“To a place far away that even the Astral Express won’t bother landing their eyes on you.”

“N-no!!! You can’t just take me away and do as you please!!!”

“And what if I can?”

“The Astral Express will find me no matter what. They’ll hunt you down, they’ll—“

“…Cower in defeat. That’s all they can do.” Blade interjected. “[Name], I’ve told you this a thousand times already. There’s not much you can do in that faction. I’ll always be there, watching you desperately before I can even have the time to play with you.”

“No, I won’t allow it! I’m not yours, and you’ll never beat the Astral Express on your own! This, I’m sure of it. Dan Heng will find you, and he’ll take his sweet time beating you at your own game.” you protested.

“And what if I said you’re mine?” Blade chuckled. “No matter what, I’ll always do everything it takes to win my battles fair and square. You’ll be there with me until death takes us, wouldn’t you, my dear?”

“You’ll never push me.” you said as you gritted your teeth. “Now put me down or I’ll have to do it myself.”

“Go ahead. Show me how weak you can be without my supervision. You’ll never survive the wrath of those enemies about to face you in the next life.”

“Fuck you.” you spat.

“You know, regardless of how ill you speak of me, none of that will change my mind. You’re going to be mine……and I’m going to take my sweet time claiming you as my property. So ease yourself up, can you? We’re on our way back home.”

Despite your attempts to escape, Blade tightened his grip so as to not make you fall by accident. You eventually gave in — not as a sign of admitting defeat, but because his strength was immeasurable to the point of overpowering yours.

“There’s no point in trying to escape, [Name].” Blade announced. “Give in to it. You’ll get so used to my company that you’ll wish you never met the Astral Express.”

“You’ll never win my trust.” you replied.

“Keep believing in that, we’ll see. I don’t mind not having you trust me completely this time, but let me tell you this. You’re not leaving anytime soon. Everything you do will be inspected further by the Stellaron, and you shall accept us as your new family….everything you once had with the Astral Express…..is now torn to pieces.”

Silence filled the air as the both of you ended up in his place. Not being able to say a single word, you carefully plotted your escape by knowing where to go the next time Blade left. You just had to muster every ounce of courage needed to break free, and staying oblivious to his household’s locks and locations was the last thing you wanted.

“From now on, you’re going to stay rightfully where you belong.” Blade commanded, finally putting you down after locking the doors. “If you need any further assistance, just call out my name.”

“Pfffft.” you scoffed.

“And don’t forget…..” Blade added, approaching you bluntly with a sharp frown. “You’re not leaving this place. Everything I say goes. You won’t complain. You won’t push me.”

“You’re fucked up.” you hissed.

“I’m not fucked up, I just know what I want. And I want you…..Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll be taking the Astral Express down as instructed.”

“No, anything but—!!!!”

Blade hissed back, instantly pouncing towards you and wrapping his hand around your throat. Your ability to speak was hindered with his heavy breath.

“You won’t try me now, will you, [Name]? Dan Heng has imposed a serious threat against my every move. If I find out about his existence roaming around this place, he will only know death. And you’ll never interfere. You’ll never protest. Because after all, I don’t recall allowing you to leave.”

Your gulps and struggles were heard in response to Blade’s sudden hostility towards you, his anger and inhibited desire evident in those eyes. Leaning closer towards you, he opened his mouth to speak before your ear.

“You know you want this. I can give you more pleasure than you can bear, something far better than that pathetic excuse of a man. Dan Heng and March 7th will never stand a chance against my undying passion to have you around me. And you’ll never falter under my command, will you? Well, it’s not like you have any other choice. You’re all mine now, after all.”

#x reader #yandere x reader #blade x you #blade x reader #hsr blade #yandere blade #yandere blade x reader #yandere x darling #yandere prompts #blade honkai #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x you #hsr x reader #warm up #writing practice

[narryffdreaming]

A TOAST TO THE FUTURE — FOUR (II)

Summary: Aurora and Harry used to be friends, but life happened and they grew apart. Now, 6 years later, they meet again.

Rating: +18

WARNINGS: The story contains explicit language and mentions a past abusive relationship (mostly the consequences of psychological/emotional abuse). Some chapters also contain explicit sexual content.

PART FOUR: 21k words (I) - 11,2k words (II) - 9,8k words

PART ONE || PART TWO || PART THREE || PART FOUR (I)

"Okay, I'm good," Aurora says, standing next to Megan and behind the couch. 

Ahead of them, all of their friends are already out there, near the water. Listening to music, drinking, and chit chatting while soaking under the Italian weather. 

"And thank you, by the way," she adds. "I'll owe you for the rest of my life."

Megan laughs and shakes her head, then turns to look at her. "Don't be silly, it was nothing."

It wasn't, though. 

Because when Aurora hesitated to leave the bedroom, Megan was quick to catch on her nervousness and stay behind with her. And she was also kind and sweet when asking if Aurora wanted to talk about it, or if there was anything she could do to help. 

Then, when Aurora shared that she was self-conscious about how she'll look in her clothes, Megan was also empathetic of her situation. She seemed to understand it isn't just about her body, but also about what all those clothes represent to her. Because Aurora doesn't feel the same as when she was in her twenties and started dating Zack, so she doesn't want to wear clothes that will make her feel like that old version of her. She wants to move forwards, not backwards. She wants to be better, not go back to being the same. 

So Megan stood behind and helped her feel more comfortable about herself, supporting her decision of wearing the colorful one-piece she'd bought instead of the bikini Maddie had packed for her, and then even offering her own linen shirt for Aurora to wear on top of it. Which, as it turns out, ended up being a great idea, and the last push she needed to feel that boost of confidence inside her. 

"You look incredible, by the way," Megan says.

Aurora looks down at her feet — her bare feet — and smiles. "Thanks."

And she means it. Because, truth be told, right now Aurora feels good about herself. Her legs are out and her boobs are definitely about to get some sun — as they deserve — but that doesn't mean she's half-naked. Her stomach is still covered, and her bum isn't completely out in the open. Besides, that shirt's making everything way more comfortable.

"Shall we?" Megan asks. 

"Yes." Aurora nods. "Let's go, c'mon." 

Megan leads the way, then, while Aurora follows her closely. 

Once they step outside, it's easy to say that it's the most breathtaking view Aurora's ever seen. Despite the coastline being at sight, it feels like they're completely by themselves, surrounded by nothing but water while facing the sun and the different shades of blue that blend in the horizon. 

Lucy, Ava and Maddie are sitting by the pool, while the boys stand by the swim platform — Theo and Niall facing the yacht, while Jayden, Daniel and Harry face the horizon. 

A shirtless Harry, though. 

A shirtless Harry facing the horizon, with his bare back fully exposed to her. 

And although Aurora tries her best to appear nonchalant and unaffected, it's hard not to feel her legs wobbling, or her mouth watering up. Because those black shorts he's wearing are really short, and there are so many muscles popping out that she wouldn't believe him if he said his body is built the same way as anyone else.

"Baby! Moonshine!" Niall cheers, raising his hands. "Finally!"

Everyone turns to look at them, and Aurora slows down slightly, almost hiding behind Megan. 

"Took you long enough," he adds, opening his arms for his girlfriend. 

Aurora watches as Megan smiles and rushes to him, hugging his waist while he holds her shoulders and kisses her temple. 

It's cute. 

They're cute. 

So Aurora smiles, too.

And then she just stands there.

Awkwardly. Not really knowing what to do with her legs. Or with her hands. Or with herself. 

She glances to one side, admiring the blue horizon, and to the other one, appreciating the coastline one more time. And then, she faces forward, and her eyes automatically land on Harry. Again. 

He's turned half-way towards her, drinking beer while glancing at her feet, then running his eyes up her legs, drifting from her knees, to her thighs, and her hips. She doesn't know if it's intentional, like before, but it doesn't seem so, because when he gets past her chest and neck, then finally meets her stare, he widens his eyes and chokes. 

He actually chokes — just like when they were in the car and she teased him about speaking Italian. Coughing and leaning forward while hitting his chest. 

And yet… It's not just like when they were in the car, is it? Because now the boys are quick to tease him and laugh at him. And because now Aurora feels the heat spreading through her cheeks, and the nervousness taking over her belly. And because now it doesn't feel like just a friendly joke, because apparently Harry got flustered for getting caught. And because he got caught checking her out. Checking her body out. 

So instead of acknowledging what happened, now Aurora pretends not to see it. And not to hear what's being said. And as she pretends everything is normal, she turns around and walks towards the girls. Knowing very damn well that, at the same time, there's a new feeling lingering inside her. Like a tingling. A feeling that's running through her veins, and that's making her anxious to see what could come next. Or where it could end. 

That tingling is growing. And it's getting serious.

Aurora can't explain it, or put it in words, but she feels it in her bones.

She's sitting on one of the steps leading to the swim platform, where everyone is just hanging around. 

Her lungs are full from ocean air, and the wind keeps whipping her hair, but it also makes the sun on her face feel less aggressive than it felt earlier in the afternoon.

Harry's sitting right in front of her, by the edge of the platform. Bending one leg at the knee and the other falling to the water while he hooks his arms around his thigh. His stunning smile seems to shine brighter than the sun, and once in a while she can see him slightly turning his head to look at her, or maybe just peeking through the corner of his eyes.

And as she talks to her friends by her side, or as she watches Lucy, Maddie, Ava, and Theo finally jump into the water, she knows she's been glancing at him non-stop, too. Because she can't help it. It's like someone casted a spell on her and she's now hypnotized.

The worst part is that Harry isn't even trying. He just keeps listening and nodding at whatever Daniel and Jayden are talking about, occasionally throwing his head back in laughter or being loud and goofy for apparently no reason. His dimples keep showing up as he speaks and smiles, and every time he laughs, his mouth falls open and his eyes wrinkle. 

The image of him being that happy is breathtaking, but the sound of his laughter astonishes her. It makes her heart beat faster, and to hope for him to sit next to her and give her all of his undivided attention. 

Earlier that day, Aurora fell asleep on his chest. Harry held her between his arms, and gently took care of her. She melted into him, more than once. She felt his fingers against her skin, and his lips on the top of her head. She remembered how tender and affectionate he could be, and she's still aware that everything she could think about when she woke up from her nap on the plane, was how cozy and warm she'd felt when cuddled by him.

However, hours later, Aurora finds herself watching him from a new perspective. One that doesn't take away what she already knows about him, but only adds more valuable information. It just makes him look even better in her eyes. 

And she knows she's never paid this much attention to Harry's body. Not like this, anyway. In all the years they spent together, she never observed him too much to actually know what anything besides his face looked like. Not only because the opportunity never came up, but also because she never thought about looking at him like that. So she has no idea if this is how he's always looked or not, but right then and there, Aurora is convinced Harry is bloody fucking hot. 

He is drinking beer, and everytime he takes the bottle to his mouth the muscles on his arm flex. He is also chewing gum, and the movements of his jaw are absorbing. The veins on his neck keep popping out, and his broad shoulders keep bringing up the memories of the many times she has hugged him and rested her chin on top of them. 

In all of those "many times", not even once it crossed through Aurora's mind the idea of hiding her face into his neck, breathing him in and kissing every inch of skin she could reach. But right then and there, it is all she can think about.

For the first time in too long, Aurora feels flushed. 

Actually flushed. 

And she has no idea what to do with that. Because it's becoming very clear to her that different parts of her body are suddenly awake, and that's all because of him. 

All because of Harry. 

Harry!

"Can I ask you something?" Megan asks, taking a seat next to her. 

Aurora jolts slightly, blinking as she shifts her eyes to her friend and nods. "Yeah, sure." 

Megan bends her legs and hugs her knees, turning her face towards Aurora and murmuring as she asks, "Is there something going on between you and Harry?"

Aurora widens her eyes. "What? I mean, why?"

"I don't know," Megan murmurs, making sure the conversation stays only between them. "I hear him and Niall on the phone sometimes, so I kinda figured something was up. But then today I saw the way you look at each other, and y'know, everyone's just been joking about it all day… So I thought… Y"know."

She shrugs.

Aurora bites the inside of her cheek and nods, taking the information in. She doesn't know how they look at each other, but she's aware that they've been doing it a lot. And she didn't actually hear what the boys said when they were teasing him, but she knows it happened. Just like she knows the girls were teasing her. So, yeah, she gets where she's coming from. 

And yet, there's one piece from that weird and unexpected puzzle that Aurora can't make sense of, so she asks, "He talks to Niall about me?" 

Megan smiles, and nods. "I mean, they're always talking about you… But… You didn't know that, right?"

Aurora shakes her head.

"Yeah, I should've figured… I mean, from what I heard and—Oh my God!" Megan widens her eyes and grabs Aurora's arm. "Rory, I don't usually go around telling people's secrets, ok? Especially Niall's. I'd never do that. I swear."

Aurora chuckles, stretching her legs and crossing one ankle over the other. She takes the opportunity to glance at Harry, who still seems pretty entertained with whatever Daniel is saying to him.

"Don't worry about it," she says, looking back at Megan. "What do they talk about, tho? I mean, what is there to talk about me?

Megan withdraws her hand and places it back on her lap, then peeks at Harry and curves her lips into a smile.

"I find it very sweet, actually," she says quietly and softly, then looks back at Aurora. "He always asks Niall if he heard anything from you, or how you are, and how's Noah… Those kinds of things. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything, but… I don't know. I don't really know you guys that well, but Harry seems to really care about you, and from what I've heard today, you deserve to get over your ex, so… I don't know… I guess I thought you should know… Because… Yeah… I don't know why."

They both laugh, and Aurora nods at her.

"Thanks for letting me know. I'm really confused about the whole thing, but thanks anyway."

"Do you want something to happen? Like, have you ever thought about it?"

"What? Me and Harry?" Aurora practically mouths. And when Megan rolls her eyes, she laughs and shakes her head. "God, no… Never. I mean… I haven't thought about anyone since Zack, to be honest."

"Hmm." Megan nods. "But you're single now, and Zack isn't in the picture anymore, right?"

"Right."

"Wouldn't it be nice if something happened between you and Harry, then?"

Yes.

Aurora shrugs. "I… I don't know. I feel very weird about it."

"Why?"

Exactly, why?

Why would it be weird? 

If everything around him feels so natural and effortless… Why would it be weird?

Aurora chuckles and groans, looking at her feet and shaking her head. When she speaks again, she lowers her voice as much as she can. "I just saw him again, Meg. Literally. Like, after years without seeing or even talking to each other, y'know? So it's just… Weird."

"Do you find him attractive?"

Fuck yes.

Aurora rolls her eyes, and shrugs. 

"Oh my God, you totally do!" Megan claps her hands together, giggling before tapping her fingers on her knees. "You find him attractive and you're shy to admit it!"

"Shhhhh," Aurora whispers, clenching her teeth and widening her eyes.

"Sorry, sorry." Megan giggles. "I just love this!"

The way Megan radiates joyness at the whole thing makes Aurora chuckle, and she shakes her head, then scratches the tip of her nose.

"I think you should go for it," Megan adds.

Maybe…

But no.

Mostly because Aurora doesn't know how to do that anymore. There used to be a time when she had fun flirting with guys, and when she didn't doubt her instincts. Now, though? Now it's like she doesn't even have instincts anymore. It's like her mind isn't telling her what to do anymore. Or her body isn't reacting by itself anymore.

Besides, they've just seen each other. After six years. 

Aurora reaches for her necklace, then. "Wouldn't it be too fast, tho?" 

"I don't know…" Megan shrugs. "I'm hardly one to talk, tho. I met Niall at a bar on a Friday night, went back to his place and didn't leave until Sunday morning, so…" She shrugs again. "We clicked, and that was it. Was it fast with your ex-husband, too?"

Aurora snorts. "No, not at all. We were co-workers first, and we were friends for months before Zack asked me out on a date. It also took him months to officially ask me to be his girlfriend."

"Mhmm…" Megan nods, half-smiling while glancing at Harry, then back at her. "So… You took your time getting to know each other, and yet you still divorced him."

Aurora scoffs, then narrows her eyes. "Yeah, okay. I see where you're getting at." 

Megan shrugs and beams at her. "Yep. I'm getting at the fact that maybe it's not about time, it's about the person."

She looks so proud of herself for coming up with that conclusion, that Aurora ends up laughing. And maybe her laughter is a little bit louder than it should be, because it seems to get Harry's attention. She notices it when he turns his head and looks at her, and when she really needs to hold herself from looking back at him. 

"God," she breathes out, looking down at her thighs and grabbing her necklace between her fingers. "I feel like this is too much information… Like, my head can't get around this. We literally just saw each other. This morning. After six years." 

Aurora laughs, and the incredulous tone gives away the nervousness behind her thoughts. And behind her feelings.

"Like I said, I think you should go for it. He's totally into you… I mean, there's absolutely no way he isn't."

That's the thing, though… Absolutely no way? Really? What if they're wrong?

"Right… Well… I don't know." Aurora sighs. "I need some time to process this."

"Okay, yeah. So let's stop talking about it. Let's just… Y'know… Enjoy the view… The sun, the water… Also," — Megan leans in, and hides her mouth from any potential pryers —  "you should think about it while you stare at those tattoos. And those mind-blowing abs."

Aurora laughs loudly again, mostly at the fact that Megan is suddenly comfortable enough to joke like that around her. 

"I mean," Megan adds. "If Niall asks, I find them ridiculous, ok? Not my type. Ew. But… Y'know… I truly, truly hope you get to enjoy… That."

"Y'know," Ava says, standing near the couch and placing her hands on her hips. "Those colors look really nice on you." 

Aurora stops walking and looks down at her body, meanwhile taking a sip from her piña colada. Her breasts are right there, popping out at her, Megan's shirt long forgotten after she decided to spend a few minutes in the pool with Lucy. And she had missed showing them off. They used to be her favorite part of her body. 

"You think so?" she asks. 

"Totally!" 

Aurora giggles. She walks down the steps to the outdoor lounge, smiling while getting closer to her friend.

"Where did you get it?" Ava asks. 

Aurora takes another sip of her drink and closes her eyes. Tasting the pineapple, coconut, and rum inside her mouth. 

"God, this is delicious…" She opens her eyes and glances back at Ava, then giggles. "Sorry… Hmm… It's actually Mara Hoffman, I got it on sale."

"Wow!" Ava smirks. "I love fancy Rory! It's perfect for the occasion."

"Shut up." Aurora laughs, waving her off. "It was the first thing I bought after I signed the divorce papers." She shrugs. "Felt kinda liberating."

"Ohhh, let's toast to that, then!" Ava runs closer to Aurora, raising the hand holding her drink.

They giggle while clicking their glasses together, each taking a one-long sip right after.

"Wait, no!" Ava cries. "We skipped the speech!" 

"We don't need a speech." 

"Yes, we do! Every toast needs a speech," Ava says, but proceeds to take another sip of her drink anyway. 

"Okay, lemme hear it, then."

"Okay, so," Ava says, and rolls her shoulders.

Aurora takes another sip, enjoying her drink while she listens to the unnecessary speech. 

"Here we go." Ava clears her throat, and raises her glass. "To our newly divorced, incredible, breathtaking, hot, sexy mama, who's—"

Aurora chokes, spitting half of her drink out of her mouth before she can even try to cover it up. Part of it goes down Aurora's chin, and the rest directly to Ava's chest and belly. 

There is a short silent pause, then loud laughter takes over the two of them. 

"Oh my God!" Aurora yells, whipping her chin with the back of her hand. She hunches down, laughing and putting one hand over her stomach.

"Moonshine!" Niall shouts from where he is sitting, next to the pool. "Are you drunk without me?!"

"'M not drunk!" Aurora shouts back, still laughing at the way the drink sneaked out between her lips. "Ava is just… Oh my God… She's just being stupid!"

Ava gasps, then shoves Aurora's shoulder. "Hey! I'm not stupid! What did I do?"

Aurora's still laughing, but she lowers her voice to make sure nobody listens when she explains, "You called me sexy mama." 

"Ohhh! Well that's just 'cause I think you are a sexy mamma!" Ava finishes her drink, glancing over Aurora's shoulder before smirking and looking back at her. "Besides, I know for a fact that I'm not the only one who thinks that."

Aurora sips her drink, and narrows her eyes. "What?"

Ava puts her empty glass on the table, then turns her back to the water, forcing Aurora to turn around too, standing in front of her and facing the opposite side. "Harry won't stop looking at you."

Aurora rolls her eyes. "That's not true."

It is, though. She knows that.

"Yes, it is. C'mon, it's so obvious… He doesn't even try to hide it anymore." 

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Mhmm… Okay then." She wiggles her eyebrows and leans closer to her. "Auriiii."

Aurora purses her lips, doing her best to keep a straight face. It only lasts three seconds before laughter comes out of her chest, though, and she shakes her head. "Shut up…"

"Ah!" Ava squeals. "See?! You know!"

"Stop…" she practically cries, raising her arms and hiding behind her hand — and her drink. "I feel so silly about this!"

"No! Why? Rory, oh my God. It's so sweet. Really. I'd truly love that for you. He's such a great guy."

Aurora puts her hands down from her face, then shakes her head. 

"I don't think it's the right time to be thinking about this."

Ava snaps her eyebrows together. "Why not?"

"I just got divorced and—"

"Na-na-na!" Ava shakes her head, waving her hands in front of Aurora's face. "Don't give me that bullshit again. It's been months now, Rory! C'monnn… How long since you've had sex? Huh?"

Aurora shrugs. "I don't know."

Ava rolls her eyes. 

"Yeah, right," she snorts. "Of course you know. Just tell me, c'mon."

Aurora takes a sip of her drink, shuffling on her feet while gathering enough courage to speak. 

"I mean… We ended things over a year ago, and before that it had already been a while, so…"

"So…" Ava smiles, wiggling her eyebrows again. "It's time to get laid." 

Aurora snorts. "No it's not."

"Yes it is. You deserve to get laid."

"Stop."

"Roryyy…"

Aurora chuckles, shaking her head. "Why are you so excited about this, anyway?"

"Because you deserve to feel good, Rory," Ava says. "And because you deserve someone who'll care about making you feel good."

Aurora raises her left eyebrow. "And you think Harry's that person?" 

Ava nods. "I know for a fact he is."

"How—"

"Look, don't think too much about this, okay? Just enjoy it."

Aurora sighs, rubbing her forehead and shaking her head. 

"Don't you think it's nice?" Ava asks, then, placing one hand on her shoulder. "That excitement of meeting someone? That tension before something happens?"

Aurora looks over Ava's shoulder, seeing Harry climb back to the yacht. 

He is soaked. His entire body is dripping water, his shorts are heavy and stuck against his skin, and there are no traces of his curls as his hair is pulled back.

She knows that the excitement Harry makes her feel is, in fact, "nice". He makes her feel safe, he makes her laugh, and he makes it seem easy. However, the problem right now isn't him, or what he's making her feel, but how she's reacting to all that. 

So inexperienced and… Childish. Shy. Unsure of herself. 

And she hates that. So much! Because it's not who she wants to be. It's not who she used to be.

Then once again, Harry turns his head to where she is, and locks eyes with her. He pulls his hair back and blinks, then tilts his head slightly and frowns. Almost as if he's asking if she's okay, or what's going on. 

"Are you looking at him right now?" Ava asks. 

Aurora doesn't stop staring at him, but she still nods, then takes the last sip of her piña colada. "Mhm."

"God." Ava snorts. "I swear to God Aurora, it's written all over your face. It's written all over both of your faces. So if you don't go for it… I don't know. I think I'll just kill you both." 

Aurora snorts. Then laughs. 

And Harry smiles. 

And Aurora's belly buzzes. And her body tingles. 

And then she shakes her head and looks down, eying the empty glass in her hand. 

"Okay. I think I need another drink now." 

Aurora puts her empty glass on the table and gets up from the couch, finally — finally — walking back to the swim platform.

Niall, Jayden and Megan are standing near each other, having a loud and enthusiastic conversation about something she doesn't understand. Nor cares about. But she stands close to them anyway, listening and waiting for Harry to come back from wherever he went to just minutes ago. 

Megan's sharing a story about her job and softwares, or something along those lines, when Aurora hears the sound of feet against the wooden deck, and then some coughing. 

Her heartbeat picks up inside her chest, and a fuzzy rush of anticipation takes over her body. Knowing exactly who it is. And knowing she's been waiting for that. That she's been thinking about that. About being around him again, about getting closer to him again. About talking to him again. 

So she bites her lip, and waits. Waits for him to finally stand by her side, or maybe just walk past her and stop right across from where she is. Where he's going to be able to look at her face. 

So she waits, and waits. 

And yet she never sees him.  

Instead, she feels him hunching behind her, and then the way he sneaks his hands under her elbows. "What—"

"Hey Auri," he murmurs, curling his arms around her waist and pushing her back against his bare chest.

"Wait—What are you—"

He tightens his hold around her belly, then lifts her feet from the ground. 

"Oh my God…"

She puts her hands on top of his forearms, and Harry steps forward. 

"Harry!" Aurora shouts, and laughs, kicking her legs as he walks towards the edge of the platform. "No, no, no… Stop! Harry! Stop! Oh my—"

Harry jumps, though, and Aurora gasps as he takes her along with him.

She closes her eyes and presses her lips together, holding her breath and scrunching up her face right before the cold water hits her feet and then her entire body. 

Sounds die down as they sink into the Mediterranean Ocean, heaviness pushing them towards the distant bottom and causing Harry's arms to loosen up around her waist. 

He never lets go of her, though. If anything, he reacts by squeezing her even tighter, pulling them back up with the same confidence and strength he just dropped them. 

It only takes a second for Aurora's instincts to kick in as well, forcing her to move her arms and legs in an attempt to reach the surface. 

The fresh air quickly hits her face, and Aurora gasps for air, deeply and loudly. And then she coughs. And coughs. And coughs again. 

Harry's head comes up from under the water right behind her, and she turns around. 

"Harry!" She laughs, and coughs, kicking her legs to keep her body floating and taking her hair out of her face. 

"Hiii." Harry smiles, moving his arms and legs to stay afloat, too. 

"Hi? Hi?!" The smile stays on her face while she splashes him with water, and he jerks away with laughter. "You're such an idiot!" 

He laughs and shakes his head, curls following his movement and making it rain all around him.  

"I know. Just look at the things I gotta do to get your attention, huh?" 

Cold, saline water washes over her face and drops through her lashes, and Aurora takes one hand to wipe her eyes off. 

"Or maybe you could've just talked to me." 

He swims closer, as close as he can get while they're both kicking their legs to avoid submerging again. 

"Guess I could… But what's the fun in that?" 

She gasps, and splashes more water on him. "What's the fun in talking to me?!"

"Wha—No!" Harry laughs louder, jerking his face away and splashing her back. "Shit. That's not what I meant."

Aurora laughs, too. 

"Mhmmmm, but it is what you said." 

"Ohhh, c'mere jellybean." Harry reaches for her, pulling her arm first, then grabbing her waist and turning her around. 

Aurora squeals, and laughs, and when he presses her back against his chest, she feels herself wavering in the blue ocean. Floating with unsteady movements. And just this close to sinking again. So she holds onto his forearm tightly, tilting her chin up to keep her mouth out of the water. 

"Harry," she cries with laughter, automatically searching for his shoulder with the back of her head. "C'monnn."

"What?" he murmurs, holding half of her weight with one arm while moving the other and kicking his legs.

"My legs are getting tired," she murmurs as well. Feeling the way his body is moving behind her. Too fast for her to actually feel him, but too firm for her not to notice it. 

"Mine aren't," he says, surely of himself. "I've got you, yeah? Just look at the—" 

"Oi!" Niall shouts. "Lovebirds!" 

Harry whirls towards the yacht, pulling Aurora along with him. 

She gasps from the sudden movement, her legs getting tangled with his as they both keep working to stay afloat. 

"This is for you!" Niall adds. 

Aurora faces forward, only now aware that they've drifted to the side of the yacht and that their friends aren't on sight anymore. Niall is there, though, holding a beer while Theo throws something large and orange to the water.

It falls right under the swim platform, and Theo points at it. 

"Take this!" He shouts. "Don't want anyone drowning at my engagement party."

"Thanks!" Harry shouts back, and both Theo and Niall give him a thumbs up before walking away. 

Aurora blinks. Trying to process all the information. 

"Can you swim there? Or want me to get it?"

"Uhm… I guess… I can swim?"

Harry chuckles. "You don't sound very sure." 

"Sorry, I'm just… Confused, I think. Let's go tho, my thighs are burning." 

"Ok, c'mon. I'm right behind ya if you need me." 

He lets go of her waist, and Aurora takes a deep breath in, diving into the water and kicking her legs to swim towards whatever that orange thing is. 

It's not far away, but it takes some effort from someone who doesn't frequently swim. When she finally reaches it, and realizes it seems to be a floating mat, Harry's hands are already on her waist, smoothly helping her climb on it before he does the same. 

She crawls on the orange thick mat, exhaling what to others might sound like a heavy and annoyed grunt, but inside her it just feels like she's pushing all the exhaustion out of her body. 

There's enough room to fit at least five people on that mat, so she pushes herself a little bit further, trying to reach a place that at least feels like the middle. Once she's there, she turns around and sits on her bum, then drops her weight back. 

"Oh my God," Aurora drags out of her mouth, laying on her back and facing the darkening sky while her thighs prickle with soreness. She closes her eyes and places her hands on her belly, trying to catch up her breath. "That was just… Wow… Like a whole… Y'know… Like a whole workout for me..." 

Harry chuckles, dropping his back right next to her. Close enough that Aurora can feel the hair on his arm brushing her own.

"It was good tho," he murmurs, turning his head to look at her. "Wasn't it?" 

His gaze heats up her face, and Aurora blinks, then turns her head and looks at him, too.

Despite the steadiness of his stare, there's some insecurity on his face. Maybe it's the way he furrows his brows, or the way he seems to be biting the skin inside his cheek. Or maybe the way he so intensely waits for her to answer his simple question. 

And yes, Aurora's arms are tired. And yes, Aurora didn't plan to get into the water today. And yes, her legs are sore. And yes she's still out of breath and her heart is thumping heavily. 

But she can't deny how refreshing and invigorating the whole thing felt. Or how she would do it all over again if she could. Or how much she appreciates his spontaneity. And his boldness. Or how happy he makes her.

So she nods, and murmurs back to him, "Yeah… It was."

"Ok," he whispers, taking one hand to rub water out of his eye before settling into her stare again. "Good."

And just like that, it's like once again she's stuck inside a green spell, because she can't pull away from him. 

Drops of water cover his face, his tanned skin glistens under what's left of the sun, and his hair is all over the place. He's breathing in and out heavily, just like her, and she can see through the corner of her eyes the way his chest moves up and down. 

It's tempting, to be honest. And the idea to look down even crosses her mind, but there's one particular curl falling onto his forehead that truly gets her attention. That feels more important right now. So Aurora raises her hand, not even trying to resist the instant urge to touch him as she reaches for his face and pulls it away for him. 

Harry curls his lips into a smile and closes his eyes, and Aurora's heart skips a beat. 

She turns on her side, then, bending her other arm by the elbow and resting on it while she runs her fingers even further through his head. Gently combing his wet hair around his ear, moving up near his temple, and then to the top of his forehead. Curling her legs and making herself comfortable. Losing herself in time as seconds — and maybe even minutes — go by. As the sun sets around them and the sky changes its colors. 

Everything's naturally quiet around them. The mat waves them softly, following the motion of the sea, and although the weather is keeping her warm, a soft breeze from the late hour runs through her body. Making her shiver, and spreading goosebumps all over her skin.

She pulls away, then, but Harry is quick to raise his own hand and grab her wrist, slowing her down. With his eyes still closed, he guides her touch and drives her to slide her palm across his cheek and towards his mouth. And she lets him, biting her lip and watching him in awe. Allowing him to move her as he pleases. Feeling the brush of his facial hair, and also the contrasting combination from the cold water and his blazing skin. 

He only stops when the center of her palm meets his lips, and then he presses a long and wet kiss to it. And another one. 

Aurora sighs, and drops the weight of her hand, spreading it open and placing her thumb on his nose while she strokes her other four fingers up and down his cheek. 

It only lasts a moment, and then Harry finally turns on his side, too, mimicking her position and using one arm as a pillow as he keeps holding her wrist with his other hand. 

"Don't stop," he murmurs.

And Aurora doesn't. She brushes his cheek, gently and steadily. 

Harry breathes out, hotly and heavily into her palm, then draws gentle circles on her wrist with his thumb. Lastly, he folds his legs, and his knees bump into her. And before she knows it, he's tangling their feet together and covering her coldness with his warmth. 

That's when he finally opens his eyes, going straight to her gaze.

"Is this ok?" he murmurs. 

Aurora's heart thuds densely, her chest moves up and down heavily, and her stomach feels like twisting and swirling. 

"Yes," she answers, not giving herself any time to overthink it as she pulls her wrist out of his hold and moves her hand along his jaw. 

Harry smiles, then drops his hand between them. "Promise? Because I can pull away if you want. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

She bites the insides of her bottom lip, watching him carefully before she finds the words to speak. Focusing on how she's pretty sure she's never been so close to him. Not like this, at least. Being able to point out the smallest details on his face. Or to catch the different shades in his irises. Or even to count the hairs across his jaw. 

She doesn't really know what's happening. She doesn't really know how they got there. She doesn't really know how they went from accidentally bumping into each other at the airport, to floating in the middle of the sea and being so focused on each other that they completely ignore the beautiful sight of the sun setting right in front of them. 

But she knows she doesn't want him to pull away. And she knows he's the furthest from making her feel uncomfortable. And she knows she wants to see where that whole interaction is going to take them. 

Saying that to him doesn't feel enough, though. Like it doesn't represent how much he's meaning to her right now and there. 

So instead, she offers, "You made today a lot easier for me. Y'know that, right?" 

There's a flicker of shock in his eyes, she sees it when he widens them slightly and then blinks rapidly. And she feels it when his voice falters. "I did?"

"Mhm." She nods, then drops her hand on the mat. Right next to his. "I'm just… I'm really happy we met at the airport. And that you're here now. It wouldn't've been the same without you." 

Harry stares blankly at her, and then he swallows. It's clear that he doesn't know what to say, and that he wasn't expecting to hear that. 

And to be honest Aurora doesn't know what to say, either. Not beyond what she's already shared, anyway. 

So she waits, and waits. 

Until Harry closes his eyes and sighs, and then he tilts his face to hide in his own arm and chuckles. 

"Jesus," he groans, unable to hide the grin from his face. And when he looks at her, there's nothing but joy, softness and affection surrounding him. "Can't believe how good that felt."

Aurora's belly flutters, and even though she's still out of words, she feels her lips curving into a smile, too. 

Harry clears his throat, then, and whilst he doesn't lift his arm from the mat, he spreads his hand open and shifts it even closer. Enough for him to stretch his pinky finger and softly brush it against hers. 

Aurora holds her breath, and drifts her eyes over his face. 

"I think about this a lot, y'know?" he says, changing his tone into a lower and softer one. "About you."

Oh God. 

"And these past years weren't the same without you, either," he adds, never pausing the touching path of his finger. "So yeah… I'm really happy we bumped into each other today. I'm happy that we're here now."

Her heartbeat echoes from her chest to her head, and then vibrates to all over her body. Making it impossible for her to find something — anything — inside her brain to say back to him. 

So she shuffles a little, lifting her head and taking her hand to her face just to scratch her nose and bring herself back down to earth. And then she lays on top of her arm again, dropping her other hand next to his and moving back into his eyes. 

Once she's settled, she admits, "I don't know what to say." 

He smiles and shrugs, opening and closing his hand into a fist. "It's ok… Will you let me know if I ever cross a line with you, tho? Or if I make you uncomfortable?"

"I don't think you need to worry about that."

His fingers seem to twitch next to her hand, as if he can't keep them still, and yet he keeps forcing himself to.

"I do, tho," he says, and the way he smiles doesn't reach his eyes anymore. "Will you let me know?"

"Of course."

"Promise?"

"Promise." 

"Ok."

Aurora furrows her brows. She doesn't like that. She doesn't want him to be afraid of making her uncomfortable, because she doesn't want him holding himself back. So whatever made him suddenly doubt himself, she wants to change it. She wants to take it back. 

And yet, she doesn't know how to, because she doesn't know what it was. And she doesn't really know how to ask him. Or how to bring it up. 

To be fair, she doesn't even want to talk about it. She's done talking. What she wants and needs right now, it's different. 

It's inevitable, then, to fully glance at him. At the few droplets still covering his tanned and inked skin. His body hair. His necklaces hanging from his chest into the mat. His defined muscles, and also the rolls on his tummy resulting from the position he's in. His still wet swimming shorts. His thighs. His knees, still touching hers. His feet, still tangled with hers. 

He feels like a magnet, pulling her in even though she doesn't intend to move. Even if she knows she shouldn't move. It's like he ignites something inside her. Similarly to when he bought her that caramel coffee and memories from the past crashed against her. Making her stumble, and lose her feet, and fall apart in front of him.

However, this time she doesn't feel like breaking down. She doesn't feel like she's about to cry or embarrass herself. Because the emotions he's bringing out on her aren't bad, nor something to be ashamed of. He's taking her back to a time when, given the exact same circumstance, she wouldn't have thought twice before making a move on him. 

That's probably why she ends up moving her hand to his chest and drawing his collarbone with her fingertips. Or why she picks the tag from his chest and fidgets with it, waiting for something else to happen. Waiting for him to do something next. Waiting for a sign. Something. Anything.

"It's getting dark," Harry murmurs, then clears his throat. "Wanna go back inside?" 

Fuck no. If after everything that happened during the day she just goes back inside with even more questions and less answers than before, she's pretty sure she's going to combust. She'd rather know she's been wrong and misinterpreting things all along, then to go to bed wondering about it.

"Do we have to go?"

"Only if you want to." 

"I don't."

Harry curls one side of his mouth up, offering her half a smile, and nods. 

"Ok then."

She fidgets with the tag between her fingertips, conscious of how darkness is quickly engulfing them. And that they're still laying on a floating mat, by the yacht, in the middle of Italian seawater. 

That being said, it only takes another second for tiny white lights to turn on right above them and all around the yacht. Brightening up not only their faces, but also all the water surrounding them. 

Aurora narrows her eyes and blinks, then glances up at the empty swim platform. "How long do you think it'll take for them to come looking for us?" 

"They won't." 

She furrows her brows, then purses her lips to hold back a smile and looks at him. "You sound really sure of yourself."

He smiles wider, then. "'Cause I am. Unless something bad happens up there or we have to anchor somewhere else, they won't come here." 

"Hm. And how do you know that?" 

"'Cause I do." 

"Harry." She rolls her eyes and chuckles. Desperate for him to give her something — anything — that will give her the confirmation she needs to move forward. "C'mon." 

He chuckles softly, too, then shrugs. "Because they don't want to interrupt, that's all."

"Interrupt what?" 

"Us." 

"Us?" 

"Mhm."

Aurora's heart comes back to life, then. 

She holds her breath, and drags her eyes down to his lips, then to his chin. And then back to his eyes. 

She shuffles closer, but it's so discreet and barely that she isn't even sure he'll notice. And she wants him to notice. So she moves her foot up and down. Stroking his ankle, and his shin. Up and down. Again. And again. 

Harry closes his eyes and breathes out heavily, and the hot air that comes through his nose hits her face warmly and impatiently. 

"What's there to interrupt, tho?" Aurora murmurs, letting go of his necklace and dropping her hand next to his. 

He blinks, staring back at her before he murmurs back, "I don't know."

Aurora mimics his previous move, stretching her pinky and brushing it against his. 

Harry responds by lifting his own finger and hooking it around hers. Holding her tightly and stopping her movements. 

"Whatever you want," he adds.

"What about what you want?" 

Harry smirks. Or smiles. Or maybe it's just a mix between both. "What about it?"

"I don't know."

Harry chuckles. 

Fuck that's getting so confusing. 

"Do you know what I want?" he asks.

Aurora shakes her head, then brushes her foot up and down again.

"Do you know what you want?" he tries again, albeit differently. 

And this time, Aurora nods. 

"And what's that?"

"That you stop confusing me and leading me on."

Harry widens his eyes, then blinks once. And twice.

"And… I also want you to finally make a move," she adds. "Like, an actual move. Something. Anything. I don't know." 

There's a beat of silence.

And another one.

And another one.

And then, Harry cackles. 

He just turns around and bursts out laughing. Loudly and openly. Laying on his back and covering his face with both hands while laughter and more laughter breaks out from his chest. 

Aurora frowns, and suddenly there are just so many things happening inside her. And they are all just happening at the same time. And it's just so much and so intense, that she isn't even sure what she's feeling anymore. What she knows, though, it's that she doesn't like that. And that it isn't fun or amusing anymore. 

"Okay," Aurora says, sitting and then kneeling on the mat. Trying to balance herself while clenching her teeth. "Forget what I said." 

She shuffles and turns around carefully, feeling the water under the mat but also desperate to see the yacht. Desperate to get out of there. 

Harry is still laughing, beaming, when he pulls his hands from his face and looks at her. 

"Oh for fucks sake just c'mere," he says, grabbing her arm and yanking her on top of him. 

Aurora yelps, but doesn't fight him. And as she falls down, Harry takes his free hand to her face and cradles her cheek, then hunches forward and smashes their mouths together. Aurora whines from pure shock, feeling herself flopping into his chest until Harry spins them around and he's halfway on top of her.

He pulls away, then, slotting one leg between hers while holding his upper body on one arm. 

"You're so impatient," he murmurs, looking into her eyes while he brings his free hand back to cradle her face. "Couldn't even give me a minute to react."

She frowns, aware of how her arms are squeezed in between their chests and closing her hands into fist just so she won't touch him. "Your reaction was to laugh at what I said, so yeah. I'm sorry if I didn't enjoy that."

"Wasn't laughing at what you said," he says, brushing his thumb up and down her cheek. "'M sorry. I just laugh when I'm happy, that's all."

Aurora sighs, unable to stay mad or annoyed at him, then rolls her eyes and shifts on her back, pulling her arms up and freeing them out from their chests.

"That was a shitty first kiss," she murmurs, hugging his neck and pulling him closer. 

Harry snorts, then eases more of his weight into her. His bare body finally crushing her covered breasts. 

"I know." Smiling, he brushes the tip of his nose up and down her other cheek, where his hand isn't already touching her. "Was afraid you'd change your mind and leave."

She takes one hand to the back of his head, twisting and twirling his curls while trying to stare at him despite them being so close to each other. "Well… Didn't leave. And didn't change my mind, so…" 

He kisses her cheek, then a little bit to the side, closer to her nose. "So… Still want me to make a move?"

She nods and lifts her leg, hooking it around his thigh and moving her foot up and down. "This time do it properly, though." 

Harry smirks, kissing a little bit further down, and again near the corner of her mouth. 

"'Mkay," he murmurs, and moves to the other corner of her mouth, slightly brushing their lips on his way there. "I'll try my best." 

He slides his hand down, from her cheek to her jaw, then brushes his thumb from side to side at the same time he presses another kiss to her skin. Aurora sighs and closes her eyes, making her hands comfortable in between his curls while she waits for him to finally fully kiss her mouth. Except when he does, he does it softly and barely. A feather-touch that has her puckering her lips and waiting for more. 

"God you're so pretty," he whispers, almost like a secret, then pecks her lips again with the same lightness. Caressing her mouth way more than kissing it. "Can't believe this is happening." 

He slides his hand down from her face to her shoulder, then through her side. Squeezing her waist while pressing another feathery kiss, and another one. Making her body tingle and shiver. Just like the Italian summer breeze did to her earlier that day. 

"Do you have any idea how long I waited for this?" he asks, keeping his mouth close enough that their lips brush against hers as he speaks. Pressing their mouths together just for a gentle second, then pulling away and leaving her longing for more. "How many times I thought about it?" 

Aurora is kind of dizzy, kind of woozy, but his revelation feels too important to ignore. So she opens her eyes, and slides her hands from the back of his head to his cheeks. Guiding him to look at her. Demanding his full attention. "What?"

Harry blinks, the green of his eyes burying into her soul even in the darkness.  

"I just…" He squeezes her side, a little bit tighter this time. As if his words were coming out of his fingertips, instead of his mouth. "Fuck I can't believe 'm about to do this."

He squeezes her again and leans in, then finally fully kisses her. Capturing her lips and not waiting any other second before sneaking his tongue into her mouth. Dragging his hand down to her thigh, then back to her hips, then around her back. Going from gentle to desperate in a blink of an eye. As if he suddenly opened the gates to a lot of piled up needs. 

Yes. Fucking finally. 

Aurora shuts her eyes closed and whines, or maybe it's just a moan. She doesn't know. It just melts out of her throat while she goes numb and dizzy into the kiss. Instinctively throwing her arms back around his neck and tasting his tongue with her own and then pulling him closer, and closer, and closer. Every inch of him. From his head, to his chest, to his leg locked inside her own.

She never knew she would be so relieved to kiss him. Or that her body would just restore to life as soon as she tasted her lips. Or that everything inside her would just buzz and itch for him. 

And they're both just so, so desperate. Squeezing here, pulling there. Tilting heads to one side, and to the other. Licking tongues. Sucking lips. Sighing into each other's mouths. Trying to grab more, and more, and more.

Always more. 

"Fucking hell," he mumbles, then tilts his head to the other side and leans in for another wet, sloppy, and delicious kiss. 

Aurora moans, sweetly and weakly. Almost like she's about to beg for him. And then she drags her hands up through the back of his head and threads her fingers around his curls, holding tightly onto him while Harry kisses the hell out of her. While he drifts his short nails from her back to her ass, then stops where the swimsuit doesn't cover her skin and strokes her up and down. While he squeezes her. And then while he sneaks his hand under the fabric and fills his hand with her cheek, then squeezes her again. Harshly — so harshly and so wildly that his own fingers burn in pain. 

Aurora gasps and jolts closer, and Harry deepens even more to kiss her even more. And more. And more. 

Always so much fucking more. And it's just so, so good.

Harry moves from her ass to her thigh, then grips her flesh tightly before encouraging her to properly hook her leg around him. And she does it. Happily. Eagerly. Pressing her heel on his back and pushing him closer at the same time she tugs his curls and sighs into the kiss. 

He lays on top of her, settling between her legs while holding his weight on one elbow and gripping the back of her thigh. Digging his fingertips into her as he breaks the kiss and pulls away, opening his eyes to look at her. 

He presses himself between her legs, then, and Aurora loses what's left of her mind. Because although he isn't fully hard yet, it's clear he's getting there. Firm and heavy between her legs. Pressing into her. Forcing into her. 

"Oh my God," Aurora breathes out, widening her eyes as she opens them and stares at him. 

Harry pants. 

Aurora pants.

And they both just look at each other. They look, and they look. Meanwhile trying to catch up with their breaths. Meanwhile trying to slow down. Meanwhile trying to control themselves. 

And then Harry moves up and down, and she gasps. Then he rolls again, and again, and again. 

She squeezes her eyes shut while arching her back and hooking both legs around his waist. And she's painfully conscious of how wet and thirsty her body is between her legs. 

"Holy fuck," Harry murmurs, then places both elbows on each side of her face. "Auri?"

"Hm?"

Fuck he feels so fucking good.

"You need… You need to stop me." 

She shakes her head and opens her eyes, then brings her hands to cradle his cheeks. "No. Why?" 

He kisses her, and he kisses her. And he kisses her. And he fucking kisses her. So, so well.

"Because I'm about to get to a point where I won't be able to stop anymore." 

"Then don't."

Harry chuckles, and she feels his pain in his voice, and also his reluctance when he closes his eyes and has to force himself to stop rolling up and down against her desperate center. 

"Not here," he breathes out, squeezing his eyes shut so tightly that it makes her uncomfortable for him. "Not like this."

She hates it, but she knows he's right. So she licks her lips, and brushes her thumbs up and down his cheeks, then unhooks her legs from around his waist. "We'll stop, then."

"It's not that I don't want to," he murmurs, dropping his weight on top of her and pressing their foreheads together.

"I know. I can feel that."

Harry chuckles, then kisses her cheek, and the corner of her mouth. And then, as desperately and urgently as he started, he finds a way to subtly and delicately kiss her again. Slowing them down. Tasting her mouth with more affection, with more time, with more intention. Actually savoring her lips, and actually caressing her skin. Dropping his hand back down to her ass and covering her properly again, then sliding it all up through her side.

Aurora finds herself happily following his new pace. Threading her fingers through his curls and stroking his scalp, then giving little nibbles to his lips, and cute, sweet licks to his tongue.

He hums, and cools off. Losing his strength and dropping his weight to the side. More and more. Until he's fully turning on his back, and pulling her along with him. 

And Aurora moves, turning and holding herself on one elbow while she keeps her other hand on his face. Holding, brushing, caring for him. And when she pulls away, the loud mwah of their lips breaking apart seems to reverberate through both of them, and also through the ocean. 

They both blink, and whilst Aurora rests her hand on his bare chest, Harry takes his own to her face, pulling her hair behind her ear before brushing his thumb up and down her cheek. 

"Hi," he whispers, tilting his head slightly to the side just to stare straight into her eyes.

"Hi," she whispers back, finding the string of his necklace and grabbing it between her fingertips.

The bright lights from the yacht reflect on the beautiful green of his eyes. Besides that, though, everything about Harry looks like a complete mess. 

But a hot mess, still. Because he looks like a mess that was made by her. He looks like she kissed him so hard that she left his lips swollen. Like she tugged his hair so harshly that she left him completely disheveled. And like she grabbed him so tightly that she left tiny spots all over his cheeks. 

Does she look like that, too?

Like he just kissed the soul out of her? 

And then brought her back to life?

"How was that for a move, huh?" 

Aurora rolls her eyes, but then drops her forehead to his shoulder and laughs.

Harry smiles, sliding his hand to the back of her head and kissing her temple. Once, and twice. "Is it ok that I'm already thinking about doing this again?"

She takes a moment, but ends up holding herself up and looking at him. "Is it okay that I wish we didn't have to stop and go back to our friends right now?"

He slides his hand back to her face, then brushes his thumb up and down her cheek. "Thank God 's not just me."

He leans in, then, pecking her lips just once. Softly and shortly. Puffy lips sweetly puckering against hers and leaving her craving for more. 

Aurora smiles, and fidgets with the string between her fingers. 

Even the mat underneath them seems to wake up, because it's suddenly waving their bodies again. 

(Although Aurora it's pretty sure it never stopped moving, she just stopped paying attention to it.)

"Can we go somewhere more comfortable next time, tho?" she asks, and Harry laughs. 

"Yeah… We can go wherever you want, Auri. Whenever you want. I don't care, as long as I get to be there, too. As long as I get to be there with you."

Hi! If you've made it here, thank you for reading. You have absolutely no idea how much it means to me.

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles au #dont really know why i even tag anymore tbh

[dancinglikebutterflywings]

Hype Boy | I.N x Reader

-> Pairing: Yang Jeongin x F1 Racer!Reader

-> Request: from @mirlisfreespace

-> Synopsis: Jeongin makes the best hype boy for his girlfriend. Part 02 to I Promise You

-> Warnings: Self-doubt. Anxiety. Negative thinking.

-> Word Count: 390

-> Requests: Open.

Stray Kids Masterlist | Tag List Sign-Up | Requesting Guidelines

©️ 2024 dancinglikebutterflywings - do not copy/modify/repost anywhere. reblog instead.

Likes, comments & reblogs are welcomed and appreciated, thank you. 

Jeongin spent nearly five minutes searching for his girlfriend when he finds her in one of the side rooms designated for when someone needs to take a break. Her knee is bouncing anxiously, as she bites her lip, and looking as if she's mentally a million miles away. 

"I've been looking for you," Jeongin says, letting her know that it's just him. "Is everything okay?" 

"I don’t know why I’m even doing this," she replies, avoiding eye contact by looking down at the floor. "I'm not even that good. There are so many other racers that are better than me, faster than me, and more experienced than I am. What am I doing here? I don't deserve to be here." 

"I think your full of shit," he tells her sitting next to her. She glares at him, her eyes glossing over. "You deserve to be here.” he continues, taking her hand in his and making her look at him with his free hand. “You've worked your ass off to get where you are today, and I couldn't be prouder of you. Don't let anyone make you feel or think otherwise."  

"You know how competitive Formula One can get," she sighs.  

"Which is testament to how hard you've worked to get here. It's proof that you deserve to be here just as much, if not more, than the others," he counters. "Now, stop doubting yourself, get in that car, and show them what you're made of. Show them why you deserve to be here." 

"What would I do without you?" she asks a faint smile on her lips as she looks at him loving. 

"You don't have to worry about that because I'll always be here, supporting you and reminding you of your worth," he smiled, pressing a kiss to her hand. 

"I love you," she says pressing a kiss to his lips. 

"I love you too," he says and stands up, her hand still in his, and leads her out of the room so she can prepare for her race. 

As they walk back towards the main area, Jeongin can't help but feel a surge of pride for his girlfriend. He’s witnessed her dedication and passion for racing firsthand, and he knows that she has what it takes to succeed even further in the competitive world of Formula One racing. 

TAGGING: @staytiny2000 - @dancelikebutterflywings-library - @kpopmenace143 - @treehouse-mouse - @alexxavicry

@rainydayteacups - @tinyelfperson - @laylasbunbunny - @skz1-4-3 - @pinkies-things

@kayleefriedchicken - @everythingboutkpop

#author: dancinglikebutterflywings #yang jeongin #yang jeongin x reader #IN #IN x reader #stray kids #stray kids x reader #skz #skz x reader #IN fics #IN imagines #IN scenarios #IN fan fics #stray kids fics #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fan fics #skz fics #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz fan fics #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop fanfics #kpop fics

[itsabouttimex2]

Feeling evil rn :)

So I'm roleplaying with LSO MK, and currently the Y/N is very injured in their first fight against someone, since they decided to be a sneaky monkie kid and try to train themself somewhere again from MK.

Problem is that Y/N hasn't really be trained at all and doesn't know how to fight or even USE the staff.

And the Monkie Knight is not reacting very well at ALL.

Let’s Start Over:

 Battle Scars

You lay weakly across the ground, breathing hard and heavy. Arms roughly scraped against smooth concrete, shins kicked to swollen bruises. Blood from your nose and mouth. Head pounding. Everything hurts.

But you aren’t in any real danger. Not since your mentor’s prompt and almost brutal arrival on the scene.

“…Monkie Knight? How… how did you know I was…?”

Jin- and Yin, even though there was only supposed to be one of them because that was the rumor circulating and you wouldn’t have come out here on your own if you had known it would be both instead of just one-

Jin and Yin both lay limply across the ground, broken limbs strewn sloppily about their prone bodies.

They aren’t dead.

MK wouldn’t kill in front of you. Really, he doesn’t like to kill at all. But especially not in front of his cherished student.

“I told you,” your mentor whispers, clutching your head tight to his chest. “How many times did I tell you, kiddo? How many times did I lecture you about this? We spent hours going over this.”

Your wounds are many, each one a different shape, size, severity. Red and purple paint your skin, bruises and gashes along the length of your limbs and chest.

Nothing fatal, and that was clear at even a casual glance- but it didn’t make your mentor any less worried.

“Idiot,” he murmurs to your ear. That mild insult is the literal harshest word you’ve heard escape his mouth. Maybe you’ve earned it, with a stunt like this. “My little idiot. I can’t trust you at all, can I? You are never going outside without me again.”

MK presses a kiss to your forehead, stroking sweat-stained strands of hair from your eyes. “I shouldn’t have taken my eyes of off you, not even for a moment. I should’ve gotten here sooner. I should’ve protected you,” says a small and guilty voice, as though you had been killed instead of beaten down by two gibbering idiots. “I won’t let you get hurt again, Y/N.”

It’s rare that he calls you by your real name- you’ve been affectionally dubbed Clover, a reference to your position as the fourth bearer of the Ruyi Jingu Bang.

If MK is dropping that moniker, it’s simply more proof of how serious things have gotten.

His arms snake around your body, one hand resting under your thighs, the other supporting your upper back. Another kiss to your bleeding forehead, then he speaks:

“Let’s go home.”

You can’t bring yourself to answer beyond a nod, some level of shame and embarrassment sealing your lips. All you manage is a short nod before settling into his arms for the trek.

Every step forward is near agony, jostled about in spite of how careful MK is trying to be with you. The ground nearest to him is left uneven from the prior fight, broken and crumbled by powerful impacts. You bounce about, feeling all the bruises along you scrape against the torn clothing on you. At your first whimper, the Monkie Knight looks down at you, caught between worry born of anger and a deep pity.

“We’re gonna have words, Y/N, trust me. But I’ll get you patched up first, huh? Just close your eyes and let me get you home.”

Doing as requested, you try to focus on the beat of your mentor’s heart instead of his droning footsteps and the buzzing pain blooming across your skin.

The journey is slow and grueling, but MK reassures you several times both verbally and physically, stopping to adjust his grip on you and taking a moment to praise how well you’ve been doing.

And soon enough you’re home on Flower Fruit Mountain, bundled up under a blanket as MK stomps about the house in search of medical supplies.

“I can’t believe you. I cannot believe you, Clover. Pulling a stunt like this. Hands out. Now.”

You offer them up without hesitation, causing MK to falter with his sternness. “Good,” he praises, taking your left hand between his own.

A golden seal crackles to life on your palm, a severe restriction of powers. “No more staff.”

Then, he takes your right hand, prompting an exact replica of the first glittering power-limiter to sparkle into existence. “No more clones or shape-shifting.”

A final kiss to your forehead prompts a much more ominous seal to blossom across your skin, a bright golden line winding all the around your head, reminiscent of a single-banded crown.

“And no Mystic Monkey form, either.”

Something deep inside you starts to ache, a severance of your true identity forming within. All from a simple fatherly action that is no doubt being performed for “your own good”.

“Hands,” he repeats, grabbing a washcloth and a small water basin. You offer them again, a little slower this time, struggling to accommodate the newfound emptiness in your chest. MK begins to scrub your arms clean with a mild soap and warm water, frowning as he surveys the damage.

“You’re lucky. So, so lucky. If I hadn’t gotten there in time, you would have… they would have…”

A pause. Your mentor takes a deep breath. He pushes a small washcloth into your hands, frowning a little deeper as he rolls up the fabric of your pants.

“Pat your arms dry,” is his simple command. You slowly do as told, feeling as though your arms have been burdened with lead. As you work the wetness from your tattered skin, the Monkie Knight tends to your legs.

When all the wounds have been cleaned and your arms are no longer smothered in water and soap, MK takes them again and starts to apply large bandages to the worst of your wounds.

Each one is glittery, some shade of gold or red, branded with a smiling monkey face in the middle. They had been pricier than any store brand, but your mentor didn’t mind shelling out for the extra quality and cute designs.

The brighter colors and sparkling material made you smile when they caught in the light, and you smiling made him happy. They were an investment that paid themselves back several times over, in his opinion.

Your smile is one of his favorite things, now that he thinks of it. It’s proof that he’s doing well as a mentor, that he’s keeping you healthy and safe.

But looking at your face right now shows only regret and pain- maybe a little bit of emotional hurt alongside the discomfort caused by the struggles of battle.

“…I love you,” he says, hoping to cut the cold tension with a few warm words. “Even when you make bad decisions.”

“…I love you too,” is your delayed answer, causing the Monkie Knight to sigh in relief. Maybe you’re only saying to because he said it first. Or maybe because he’s done so much that you think you owe him that love.

Maybe you were on the verge of saying it yourself, without prompting or reason.

Regardless, MK drops everything to scoop you up in his powerful arms, his muscles straining to give a proper squeeze, pushing every bit of air free from your lungs.

“I won’t ever let you go again,” he says.

You doubt that he’s joking.

#Platonic Yandere #Yandere Lego Monkie Kid #Yandere LMK #Yandere MK #Let’s Start Over #Yandere Mentor

[hazbinfallinginaspiral]

Hello, hope you're doing okay.

Thanks for all you've written.

Could you maybe do something of Retro!Reader caring for the Vs when their sick or the Vs being clearly a mess while trying to care for Retro when they're sick?

I’m working on a separate fic for Retro being sick so here’s something with them taking care of the Vees!

Vox

“Sweetheart,” I said quietly, tapping his shoulder gently. “Darling, you can’t sleep here. This is the kitchen.”

He flinched and slowly opened his eyes- his screen was flickering and there was a sheen of static over it. “Mm?” He asked, looking around, disoriented.

“Come on, let’s get you back to your room,” I said softly. I held out my hand and he took it, trying to stand. He stumbled, and I caught him quickly. “Careful,” I said. He was burning up, hotter than any human would, but that was to be expected. I wrapped my arm around his waist to support him and he leaned against my side.

“Mm… oh, it’s you…” he mumbled, smiling slightly. He relaxed against me. “Love you, dear.”

“I love you too,” I said softly. I sighed and just picked him up instead. He gasped slightly, then buried his head against my chest, the corners of his screen hurting me a little. I didn’t mind. “It’s okay, dear,” I said, carefully setting him back down in bed.

“I hate being sick,” he grumbled.

“I know,” I said with a small laugh. I got out his charging cables and paused for a moment. “Can you sit up for a moment? For me, please?”

“Mm..mhm..” he mumbled, sitting up a little. His expression softened. “Anything for you.”

“Thank you,” I said with a smile. I gently and carefully plugged in the cables. It earned me several shocks, much more painful than normal, even when I plugged them in correctly. It always got like this when he was sick. I finished and looked back at him. “How are you feeling?”

“Like death,” he said, flopping back onto the bed. I gave him several pillows to support his neck and make the cables more comfortable. “I think I can finally see the ceiling children.”

“Oh my god,” I said, trying not to laugh. “You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“Look, that comment scared the shit out of me! The ceiling children are the precise reason we don’t let you get high anymore.”

“I can tell!” I said with a laugh. I looked to his nightstand and noticed he hadn’t been eating or taking his medicine. “Darling…” I said with a frown. I sighed and got him more medicine to take. “Come on, you’ve got to take it or you won’t get any better.”

“No!” Vox said, trying to move away. He wasn’t particularly successful. His screen flickered and glitched a little. “No, its tastes like shit. I don’t want it! It’s practically poison.”

“Sweetheart, it’s just medicine,” I said. He shook his head, about to protest. “I promise it’s not that bad,” I said before he could argue. “Darling, I promise it’s not poison. It’ll help you get better, okay? It doesn’t taste that bad.”

“Promise?” He asked quietly, looking at me with a raised brow. He was shivering.

“Promise,” I said softly. “Please?”

“Fine,” he said with a sigh. He begrudgingly took the medicine and laid back down. “Only for you, my dear.”

“Thank you.”

Valentino

“Tino, sweetie,” I said with a small laugh. “Please, I need to go make dinner.”

“No!” He said, holding me tighter. “You’re mine.”

“Technically, I belong to Vox,” I said with a grin. I ran my fingers along his wings gently, trying to comfort him. “Look, I’ll be back soon, okay? I won’t be gone long.”

“No,” he said again, making a small squeaking noise. He looked up at me- though I was ninety percent he couldn’t see me very well. “Please don’t go, mi amor.”

“Val…”

“Please stay,” he said quietly.

I was about to say no, but then I realized he was asking nicely. The way he was holding onto me, shivering, leaning into my touch. This was the most vulnerable I’d seen him, and he’d even used the word please.

“Fine,” I said with a sigh. I leaned back and pulled him up against me, ready to cuddle for as long as he needed. He didn’t say thank you.

Velvette

“Babey, please,” she said, tugging on my sleeve. “I need to work! I have to design some clothes for my collection or I’ll miss my deadline.”

“Vel, you can’t,” I said softly, cupping her face. “Look at you. You’re sick, dear, you can’t do much of anything right now.”

“No im not! I’m perfectly fine,” she insisted. Unfortunately, she started coughing immediately after. “I can work!”

“Honey, you know how Vox doesn’t protest when I take care of him when he’s sick? How he drops his work and rests?”

“Yes,” she said hesitantly. She could sense this was a trap.

“That’s because he knows that I’ll do whatever it takes to make him rest,” I said, patting her head. There was a clear threat in my voice- a caring and affectionate threat, but a threat nonetheless. “Now, you can be a good girl and lay down, or I can take away your cupcakes again.”

“No! No, no, no, I’ll rest,” she said, immediately laying down. “See? Resting!”

“Thank you, dear,” I said with a small laugh. “Now, what’s your typical comfort food? For when you’re sick. You get cupcakes when you’re healthy again.”

#hazbin hotel #vox #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #writing #vox x reader #my writing #x reader #thanks anon! #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin velvette #velvette x reader #hazbin valentino #hazbin hotel valentino #valentino x reader #vox fanfiction

[deep-sea-anemone]

Random One Piece Headcanons, Part One: Dancing

(Zoro+ Sanji+ implied Zosan)

Zoro and Sanji are both really good at partner-dancing

Sanji grew up learning ballroom dancing in Germa as part of his royal upbringing (he'd have to dance with dignitaries and such). It wasn't something the genetic modifications were designed for so he could actually keep up with his siblings and was the lessons he looked forward to the most (though that might not be saying much)

His mother was always bedridden so they never got to dance together but little Sanji would always show off what he'd learned and tell her that he couldnt wait for her to get better so that they could dance together

The Baratie taught Sanji about swing (and other) dancing. Before then he hadn't known there was any other way TO dance. (Imagine for a moment the Baratie after hours. All the chairs and tables are pushed against the wall to make room for a dance floor. Some of the staff play instruments, the sound is...not great, but it's lively and full of energy and soon Sanji is being spun around the floor by the staff-and it's exhilarating, like nothing he's felt before, and he realizes just how much passion there is outside of the world that he left behind. Picture the party scene from The Titanic, that kind of vibe)

Whenever they celebrate, either on land with new friends in a post-battle celebration, or just a lively night on the ship, he's always the first on the dance floor.

He pulls random strangers (mainly women, but not always-he just wants to dance is all) away from staying back in the shadows near a wall and soon has them laughing and smiling as he spins them around. He has the biggest grin and the most magical look in his eyes and they almost fall a little in love with him-until he opens his mouth anyways

Zoro doesn't really dance. He usually just watches from the sidelines, enjoying conversation and booze.

He is a master swordsman however, so he is quite light on his feet and has good balance, which is why when Sanji pulls suddenly pulls him off his feet to the tune of Brook's violin on the Sunny one night he doesn't completely embarrass himself

It does take him a minute, the cook pauses to show him where he needs to put his feet and normally Zoro would complain that HE should be the one leading, not the cook, but he's being swept around at a breathtaking pace and Sanji has a slightly maniacal grin in his eye and it feels so SO close to the way they fight and Zoro has to admit he doesn't hate the way the adrenaline makes him feel.

He let's Sanji lead cause frankly he's barely keeping up, and he has no idea what he would do if he were actually handed the reins.

He still won't dance with strangers, it's too awkward and really not his style, but he doesn't mind the happiness burning in his chest whenever his nakama coax him over to dance with them

One night after a battle, several of the Strawhats are fairly roughed up, but it's still a victory worth celebrating so Brook plays something slow to match the calmness of the candlelight and the crews just slowdances instead. Sanji and Zoro wind up paired together and yes, they were bickering just moments ago and normally they'd be giving each other the stink eye, but Zoro hurt his foot and Sanji is exhausted so Zoro let's his weight fall on Sanji for support and the cook just lets him and tlas they sway they share a look that's so SOFT that neither of them wants the night to end

Neither of them can solo-dance for shit

Sanji just kinda jerks his limbs around and the people surround him quickly learn to give him a few feet of space cause even he isn't quite sure what he's doing.

Zoro kinda just...stands there and rocks back and forth. Chopper tells him to be more enthusiastic so he soes that thing where you put your hands up and keep them still but still dance with the rest of your body. Usopp kindly asks him to stop

Sanji's excited cause Nami always seems to want to dance with him, but really she's just trying to get the cringiness to end

Whenever Zoro and Sanji stand next to each other alone during dances, one of their nakama will make sure to push them towards each other so they will dance together instead. That way no one has to experience the second hand embarrassment of watching their cringeworthy attempts on the dancefloor

Zoro and Sanji don't really mind. They're relieved to have each other during those moments so they don't have to suffer the awkwardness alone.

And...dancing together really isn't the worst anyways. Far from it, actually. It's not that different from fighting, after all, and that's something they do best.

#zoro #sanji #one piece #zosan #op #zoro/sanji #sanzo #one piece headcanons #animeposting #sanji/zoro

[fomulapookie]

soo i’m writing a marcmarc fanfiction and Im going to make it multi chapter, it’s going to explore a bit Bez’s internalised homophobia and his path towards the light (fucking with Marc)

and i’m going to upload it both here and on Ao3, if you like it i’d love for you to leave kudos, no pressure tho obv <3

I took a bit of inspiration by @anitalianfrie and some ideas from @yeastinfectionvale because the two of you are the most dangerous marcmarc psychosexual supporters I relate with

Below you can find the fic, if u enjoy reading on Tumblr more than on Ao3❤️

2024 pre-season

It was cold, but still, Marco was sitting outside the ranch, it was around 3 in the morning he supposed, thoughts clouded by the joint he was still finishing up.

He was trying to reflect on something that had been seriously affecting his life lately, or rather much someone.

Marc Marquez.

Since he had signed with Gresini the Spaniard just seemed to continuously pop up into his life, whether it was on track or not, like last week for example, he was out with a group of his friends and who did he meet at the club he went to? Marc Marquez, drinking with a guy he thought was a friend of the man, but the more he thought about it, the more he remembered strange details, like a hand lingering a bit too much or a few glances casted in a very lustful way.

He archived the memory as a made up one, a result of the not so little amount of alcohol he consumed that night.

Plus, Marc had a girlfriend, and even if he didn't, everyone on the grid was straight.

All the jokes, flirty ones even, were always platonic and between friends, he did that too with Pecco, and it wasn’t like he was…gay.

He had had a girlfriend until a few weeks prior, when she decided it would’ve been a good idea to cheat on him and dump him via text of all things.

The joint was coming to an end, and with it all his will to stay outside and freeze, looking for a warm blanket and a snack instead.

Memories grew along with his hunger, and the frames of his mind ran back to the night he saw Marquez at the club.

Shirt buttoned just halfway, a silver necklace adorning his neck and bouncing slightly every time he moved.

His smile, a painfully magnetic one, drawing people to him like moths to a flame, like his eyes, profound and deep.

But what Bez remembered the best were his shoulders.

Broad, muscled, tanned and glowing with sweat, moving up and down rhythmically when he laughed.

If he focused enough, he could remember peeking the outline of one of Marc’s scars from the hem of his shirt, and something similar to a hickey on the juncture between his neck and shoulder, sinfully on display.

Fuck, why did he remember those things? He was pretty sure that a blonde flirted with him that night, he was sure she was hot even, but he couldn’t remember a single detail from her, just from that small fucking bastard

As his mind stopped wandering Bez realized he was back into his room, an half finished protein bar in hand and an obviously painful bulge in his pants.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck how did that happen? was it the blonde? it couldn’t have been Marquez, could it?

The answer came when his dick twitched at the mention of Marc’s name.

cazzo

He was conflicted: should he let it go away on its own or act on it? because he knew the moment he would’ve touched himself thinking of his rival it would’ve been over for him.

Seeing him in the paddock, on insta or at one of the clubs would’ve meant remembering this.

No no no he hated Marquez, this was just the smoke speaking for him, he always got a bit horny after smoking, it wasn’t different from other times.

Except it was. It was so much different, this longing he felt for the older guy, the need he had to just lick his lips and bite down on those delicious looking shoulders, grabbing his neck and crushing their lips together.

Bez also remembered the cologne he was wearing; it smelled like woods and fresh, he didn’t know much about perfumes but that was surely a smell he wasn’t going to forget it easily.

“Maybe it’s not that bad. Just once, one time and then I’ll forget about him”

he thought while sliding into bed and slowly slipping his hand into his pants.

It was embarrassing how quickly he became vocal about it, softly of course because he didn’t want the other guys or worst, Vale, to hear him moan out Marc Marquez’s name and finding him like that.

He stroked his cock with growing speed, twisting his wrist when he came close to the tip, gritting his teeth and grabbing the sheets with his free hand.

“Marc-“ a suffocated plea leaving the boy's mouth, but remaining painfully present in his room, floating around as a curse.

The more he thought about the Spaniard the harder he got, he wanted more more more.

He wanted Marc, in all his stupid perfection, he wanted him to choke on his cock, or bouncing on it, he wanted Marc to be as desperate for him as Bez was for the man.

“Si si si” a trail of words left the boy’s mouth to get lost into the silent and cold night in Tavullia, alongside with Marco’s orgasm, which hit him hard and fast, ropes of white liquid staining his abdomen and part of the sheets.

He went to the bathroom to wash his hands and getting cleaned up, being extra careful not to wake anyone up.

He looked at himself in the mirror, cheeks red, puffy lips and glassy eyes, pupils still blown wide from the smoke and the excitement of the recent jerk off session.

He knows he will have to face what he just did, because what if it wasn’t just Marc? What if it was men in general? Could have he been bisexual? To be fair he was a bit scared to know, what if Vale or one of the guys found it disgusting? what if his family did?

Could’ve he kept that secret for long?

He doesn’t think so, honestly he’s scared of loosing both families at once for something like that.

No no, he ultimately decided.

If he understands he likes guys he’s going to keep it for himself.

It’s going to be better for everyone that way

#bezz #marcmarc #rosquez #marc marquez #motogp rpf #hope u like it

[dutybcrne]

Thunderings are happening, my brain has funneled off into hcs mode

#//Aka; guess who am I gonna ramble on abt rn lol #☆ ┆ ( .ooc. ); #hc; kaeya #//That's right; babes! #//Anywho; Kae is NOT a fan of thunder #//If it's not tales of the Electro Archon from his father; then it's the circumstances in which they'd parted #//The moment the storm rolled in; he was terrified esp of the sound and ran himself ragged trying to find a place to escape it #//Damn near ran himself off a cliff had a strike of lightning not made him stumble back from it #//Managed to find his way to the winery where he hid for a bit before Tunner found him and Crepus managed to persuade him to stay #//After damn near running the man winded bc he thought he was trying to chase him off or worse #//The fear lingered and festered more the longer he stayed in the Land of the Anemo Archon; out of guilt for 'deceiving' the Ragnvindrs #//For letting him stay there; for not telling them why he was here. Grew up half expecting to get Smote or smth at any time #//Esp whenever Luc dragged him into mischief or he went to the Church with them for whatever reason #//Mostly the former; but bc it was Luc asking him to clown; he didn't mind the 'potential risk' #//Even as a knight; he tended to get extremely skittish and quicker-tempered when it came to patrol during storms. Still does #//Tho at that time; thinly veiling the fact that he very much felt like a cornered animal every time he had to go and couldn't get out of i #//Esp if Luc was the one who asked him to come with; bc like before; he really didn't ever want nor like to say no to him #//The aversion got worse bc thundered the night of his Confrontation with Diluc too; absolutely increased how much he hated it #//His aversion tends to manifest in a drop in temperatures or frost formation; as well as him pausing and quickly glancing about #//As if he's half expecting a threat of some sort; really he's quickly locating things to distract himself with #//If he's with a trusted person; he'll tend to wordlessly press against their side; then either brush it off like he just wanted to #//Or mutter a quick 'thunder' and Not Elaborate whatsoever. Either they get it or they don't #//He WILL get annoyed if he's teased about it. And it will take him AWHILE before he lets the person comfort him during bc of it #//Bc from that point; he will assume it's done mockingly or bc they feel they HAVE to; and he hates that #//If they let him be or even support him more instead; he will make a passing mention abt how much he hates thunder to start cuing them in #//They just gotta show they are a Safe person--bonus is this opens up a LOT of doors when it comes to trust later #//It doesn't help that he already hates dealing with loud sounds as is; even the blasts from Klee Jumpy Dumpties set him on edge #//But the bad memories he has to thunder make it the worse by far to him

[torgawl]

the more we discover about dion's father and anabella the more i'm happy dion impaled the shit out of that motherfucker and the more frustrated i become anabella got an easy death by killing herself. not that i expected clive or joshua to do anything because i don't think they're those types of people but it would have been satisfying to me

#how can two people be so fucking cruel #they really are perfect for each other #now we discovered they both planned rosaria becomes part of sanbreque a year before the events at phoenix gate??? #holy shit she really had no ounce of respect for her kids not even joshua #the fact her reactions to her beloved son holder of the phoenix 'dying' is oh well time to make another one is so sgsjdhdb fuck you bitch #imagine being disappointed your son is too weak instead of actually morning his death 😭 #i hate her so much its undescribable and now dion's father gets to join the first spot they can share it and die in hell #rest in piss as they say #anyways can you tell i saw another tweet about ultimania agsjshs sorry #i promise i will not make another post about this game today (i think) i just need to release my anger somewhere #okay but on another hand support women's wrongs i guess ✌️😭 #i can't help but to think of the way his own traumas from the way he was raised influenced dion though :') #he seems to think anabella corrupted his father but he also acknowledges he doesn't love him for being a bastard child #i am letting the thought ruminate a bit more because i don't know if i can be coherent about it but!!!! he makes me so sad. he deserved so #much better :') #final fantasy xvi

[wonder-worker]

Friendly reminder that Francesco Coppino and Prospero di Camulio, contemporaries who were literally getting their information from predominantly Yorkist circles, were both explicitly clear that it was Henry VI who decided to surrender Berwick to Scotland.

Camulio: "King Henry has given away a castle [town] called Berwick, which is one of the keys of the frontier between England and Scotland." Coppino: "[Scotland has] received from the same Henry the town of Berwick, on the frontiers of Scotland, which the Scots have long claimed as their right from the English, as the excellently well furnished guardian of their frontiers, and the place to which King Henry repaired as an asylum after the battle."

The idea that Margaret of Anjou was principally involved in the surrender, or that she was the one who actually made the decision, is based on nothing but assumption. Two direct contemporaries, both speaking of ongoing events as they unfolded, who were both getting information from Yorkist-held England, both clearly believed it was Henry who was responsible for this course of action. Neither of them mention Margaret. Sure, you can argue that it was merely rhetorical, and that they were simply automatically attributing such an important decision to the King rather than the queen - but rhetoric is nonetheless extremely important and helps us understand how historical figures were perceived at the time. Margaret's enemies would surely not have hesitated to broadcast her involvement had it actually been true, and Coppino in particular had shown no qualms about criticizing her in favor of the Yorkists before. If she was genuinely believed to have been responsible, and if the Yorkists were actually claiming that she was at the time, I see no reason why Coppino or Camulio would not have emphasized her role in their letters. What these samples instead indicate is literally the opposite: that their contemporaries - probably including the Yorkists who were putting out the information that Coppino and Camulio reported - actually believed that Henry was the one making the decision. I think it's a very large and very unnecessary stretch to go against actual evidence and claim otherwise by placing the responsibility on Margaret instead.

Additionally, these small samples may also reveal what people at the time - once again including the Yorkists - actually thought of Henry's role in the war on a broader level, away from direct Yorkist propaganda which would obviously and perhaps understandably seek to de-emphasize it: namely, that Henry was perceived as the one making decisions and deciding the courses of action for his own side.

Source: Excerpts from the Calendar of State Papers and Manuscripts, Existing in the Archives and Collections of Milan

#henry vi #margaret of anjou #english history #my post #I want to make a longer post detailing the clear indications we have that Henry *was* perceived as the active decision maker of his side #which indicates that contemporaries did not really think that there was some kind of giant 'role-reversal' between him and MoA #but until then the gist is: #after Henry was rescued in 1461 contemporary letters clearly emphasize his own actions; they mostly did not attribute decisions to Margaret #we also know he and Margaret separated when she headed off to the continent; #that he seems to have been involved in border-raids against Yorkist England; #*and* that he avoided capture until 1465 #if Henry was entirely passive throughout it all and entirely dependent on Margaret to make decisions #I do not understand how any of this would have been possible #Instead Henry & Margaret seemed to have had more of a partnership with Margaret focusing on gaining international support #which she was very well-suited for given her powerful foreign connections #& with her taking on leadership in his absence (mainly due to imprisonment/incapacity) rather than all the time/when they were together #and like I said when it comes to Berwick contemporaries clearly believed it was Henry's decision #but also like. let's hypothetically assume that Margaret was the driving force behind it. please think of this situation logically. #whoever's idea it was Scotland was very obviously going to want a proper confirmation from the *king* #who was. yk. the actual authority of the country #even if Margaret was the one encouraging this surrender Henry's approval and agreement would have still been required #if not by the Lancastrian party then by Scotland #and again this is assuming that Margaret was actually the driving force behind it. there's no indication that she was #but ultimately contemporaries very clearly believed *Henry* was responsible #we don't know what MoA actually thought of it or what her actual involvement was (she could may encouraged it; she may have misliked it; #she may have simply been told after the decision had already been made) #but ultimately even in the most extreme case - which is contradicted by actual evidence - the final say would have been Henry's #it would be nice if this was reflected by historians?