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#// INCOMPREHENSIBLE POST <3
turtlespancake · 9 months
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i love seeing out of context posts about long-running stories with deep lore because it's always shit like "MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!! i can't believe that the metallic athenaeum's envoy actually used never-ending dance of the 57th universe on rionne as if she's not LITERALLY the incarnate of august?!?!" it's like buddy boy thank you for the spoiler tag but all of those words are incomprehensible without at least 5 years of foreshadowed knowledge, 7 different fan theories, and 21 wiki entries
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cheebuss · 5 months
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hey, just wanted to let you know i saw my dog chasing your cat yesterday when i came home from work. i don't know how long he's been doing this and i'm worried because i can't always be there to call him in and stop him. please be careful and watch out. he looks like this
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Hey neighbour! Thank you for taking the time to inform me of this situation. Unfortunately, I have already seen your dog wandering around my front yard a few times these past few weeks, and sometimes he even goes to the bathroom on my xylosma saplings. He has been quite aggressive towards me each time I have tried to shoo him off, and it's really stressing my cat out whenever he sees him outside. Sometimes he will run under the bed for hours and I can't get him to come out (See below. Sorry about the quality, he lunged at me and scratched me .2 seconds after this.) He's an older cat and I don't want him in this constant state of distress. Would it be possible for you to install higher fencing around the sides of your home? As this might prevent him from breaking out.
As for my cat, I'll keep him inside when I'm not home now. This will help prevent him going into your yard or anything bad from happening between either of them. Thank you again for reaching out, hopefully we can reach some sort of conclusion for this. Hope you have a good day.
- Eddie. (P.S. wow your dog is fucking ugly I'm so sorry </3)
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woe mundane monopoly headcanons be upon ye
follow for more of modern au hua cheng’s outfits
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kenobihater · 2 years
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thinking about how rdr2 is about redemption yes, but also about loyalty to what matters, love of family, and the consequences of both. arthur loved dutch, loved him enough to follow him to hell and back, but not enough to remain blindly loyal when dutch betrayed him and john. he put his love of his brother above the love of his father, because his father taught him well, taught him the importance of family. if not for dutch and hosea raising arthur to believe in the importance of loyalty to what's right, if they had just raised arthur as a mindless outlaw, if they hadn't instilled in him the meaing of family, he likely wouldn't have cared about john enough to betray the man who saved him. for example, bill and javier weren't raised by dutch and hosea like arthur was, but they were loyal to him all the same. they weren't treated like dutch's children like john and arthur were. because the values of family and of right and wrong weren't instilled in them alongside the value of loyalty, they sided with dutch despite his fall from grace and remained blindly devoted to a man who no longer deserved it. but because dutch and hosea taught arthur and john the importance of thinking for themselves and choosing what was truly right as well as the importance of family, they realized that dutch was going down the wrong path and causing senseless deaths with his recklessness, and arthur and john decided they had to leave. arthur knew he was never going to get out, but he at least wanted his little brother to have a semblance of a life away from the gang. he wanted him to have a chance because he loved him, because they were raised together, and because they were raised as a family. dutch had a huge hand in his sons betraying him, not only because he drove them away and betrayed them himself, but because he and hosea raised them right!!
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leather-field · 10 months
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three healers
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yuseirra · 1 month
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**persona 3 reload spoilers** this is REALLY endgame material so please be cautious of spoilers as they come!!
Fighting nyx 1/n(more to come!) I'd finish this in the spot if I can but I have to go out now! (I would have to cut it anyway even if I did if I wanted to post the screencaps together.)
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spooksier · 6 months
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I think that jmart is yuri and zelink is yaoi
jmart is way too close to the yaoi tenet of two blokes doing fuck all for it to near the kingdom of yuri for me....though running away together to a cabin in scotland is quite possibly most lesbian move ever made in fiction
zelink is yaoi in a distinctly european way
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codecicle · 8 months
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worlds most minor spoilers for 110 btw ‼️‼️
i needed the world to experience their worst fucking rolled intro that they've ever done. worst experience please never do a bit like this again 🙏🙏
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bathroomflooder · 1 month
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they should invent a me that doesn't feel like they're never going to amount to anything after making one minor mistake
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airborneice · 3 months
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couple doodles of the sillies
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drawnfamiliarfaces · 2 months
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Do you know how to fix the "Shloomp. There It Is" episode? This can be done MIS style by putting Chase Young in Nomicon's place. After all, Chase Young was able to obtain the evil essence Omi of the Yin-Yang World. Why doesn't he do the same to Randy for a chance to get to the First Ninja? This idea addresses many important issues. Firstly, a dubious lesson from Nomicon (he put the guys in danger in the original plot development), and secondly, the very existence of NomiRandy. Where did he come from? Thirdly, this will limit Randy’s activities, which means he will not be able to get out of the Yin-Yang world on his own and get into someone else’s body. Poof! I forbid rc9gn characters from moving into other people’s bodies so easily!Randy's fall to the side of darkness will infuriate the First Ninja, which fits perfectly with the concept of his relationship with Chase Young. In addition, it will be a kind of bitter reminder: “Look, I took from you the one who at one time took from me the best chance to win you over to my side.” The First Ninja was at his most vulnerable mentally when he was going through a crisis, and only the appearance of Randy made him perk up. The First Ninja will not be able to come to terms with the fact that Randy has become evil (and even more arrogant).NomiRandy may be more than just arrogant. He may represent the vengeful part of Randy. He will probably say something that will plunge the First Ninja into long thoughts, because he will not be able to deny what he said, since it is a part of Randy, and not just his opposite. NomiRandy is everything that the First Ninja never wanted to accept in Randy himself, so this will be some kind of test for him? Very high quality test. Another plus in the karma of this idea.NomiRandy is not stupid, but he is a brutal teenager who doesn't need anyone. Because of this value system, he will not be able to become a part of society, because when he grows up with his peers, his brutality will lose its meaning. Deep down, Randy wants to show others his rebellious nature, what he can really be, but he will have to understand that being NomiRandy all the time is depriving himself of a future. Then this thirst will stop snowballing. A good lesson for any teenager, including Ninjas.So this idea is great, it has conflict, meaning and a "little" Chase Young/First Ninja feud of course. Chase Young is going to give morals for once (especially for the First Ninja), even if that wasn't his intention in the first place, because damn it, Chase Young was never JUST evil. He is many hundreds of years old, he is wise enough so that he does not have to prove it to others. That's why in this scenario I put him in the place of Nomicon, who was supposed to teach the Ninja. He could have locked Randy's moral self in the Yin-Yang world, not just to annoy the First Ninja and force him to accept his terms, but because "I may take YOUR place in the eyes of YOUR students, but the outcome will be the same as the outcome of the one that NomiRandy has taken Randy's place" (that is, a crossed out future for the whole world), or "we can feud not only physically" (Chase Young is a manipulator; he can not only give dubious advice to Randy, but also really important lessons for both him, same for the First Ninja; a kind of care, similar to medicine: whether you like it or not, sooner or later you will need it, but by taking it, you are slowly destroying yourself, because it contains a small dose of poison, and Chase Young will give for his own purposes you just enough to destroy you). What happened will also hit the value system of the First Ninja, which he chose in the afterlife. Chase Young has never been susceptible to petty mischief. In a ship with someone like the First Ninja, this should be emphasized more often.
What other episodes would you like to fix in this way?
Oh, wow, this is a very intriguing and very detailed idea that is certainly worth exploring!
There is a lot to process, and I've been thinking about it for...like a week, and I'm not sure if I got everything, so if I misunderstood anything I apologize (my brain no work so good sometimes lol sorry), but I wanted to offer you my opinion if you want it!
In general I prefer to leave canon alone and just loosely refer to events that happen in cartoon, especially RC9GN, so I never thought of rewriting/fixing an episode (I mean they are sort of 'rewritten' in my head with better lore and just cooler but like nothing definite). With MIS I tend to concentrate primarly on Finja and Chase first, and the kids are sort of in the background for me. I only had like two? three? ideas that are episode & Randy/Monks related and those are mostly in Xiaolin Showdown, and one of them is in Favorite Warrior AU, lol. And even those are not rewrites/fixers but crossover fusion - the events happen almost exactly the same but just with more characters involved. So I can't say I have many idea for rewrites/fixers in RC9GN that would involve MIS.
But what I do like, is using canon to suppliment idea for 'after' cartoon canon, so after reading your idea, I wanted to offer you a slightly different take: let the canon episode happen, but then use it to build an even more serious situation with Chase, like you described and it would hit everyone involved even harder.
Let me explain my reasoning more (this might get a bit long, be warned!):
Let's start with canon first - In my opinion 'Shloomp There it is' episode is fine by itself, however dumb it might seem at first.
I kind of agree with you on the first point, about it being a dubious way to teach a lesson, but to be absolutely fair - it was a very dubious and silly problem originally, that Randy created by being a little bit of an idiot himself. So as in theme with the show, the problem and solution kind of fit each other.
Secondly, NomiRandy. I also agree about your point of Where did he come from and where the heck did he go? Well I have (most likely unpopular) opinions about that.
Personally I believe that NomiRandy is not an actual evil representation Ninjanomicon somehow created from Randy himself, but rather it is a caricature of him that Nomicon created by itself. It's an absolutely fake doppleganger that only looks like Randy on the surface - with many of his negative and opposite traits amplified to a comical degree, but not really an evil entity made of Randy's deepest dark desires. It's nothing more but a papermache puppet Ninjanomicon used to teach a lesson and later discarded, and thats why we never see him again, because he wasn't real in any shape or form so after returning to Nomicon he doesn't exist anymore.
(I am very much aware that my headcanons about NomiRandy are probably in minority, because this fandom absolutely adores NomiRandy, lol)
So, NomiRandy was a relatively mild threat used as a mild solution to fix a problem created by Randy being a bit of an idiot.
Your third point, about Randy being limited in his activities, is where I have to disagree with you a bit more. Because what's the point of teaching the lesson if a big part of Randy is not there to learn it? I mean, in canon version Randy actually witnessed NomiRandy act as an asshole which helped him realize that he himself was acting foolishly. And him having to fight himself but in Howard's body was actually pretty interesting concept of Randy having to actually physically confront his failings and bad traits head on.
There is also something to say about the fact that the only ones involved into body swap were people who were in the Nomicon at first , so one could argue that the body/mind swap was controlled by Ninjanomicon, that it used to make a point for Randy. (But that would be a thought for another time, lol.)
So, as you can see, in my opinion the episode is relatively fine by itself, and if we replace Ninjanomicon with Chase - the total tone shift will change all of it drastically. Not to mention the lesson itself will change, becoming more serious and with actual consequences - all of it would be something completely different.
And while it absolutely could work and the idea of this rewrite by itself is incredibly intriguing, I think it would work better as a continuation, as more dire development for after the end of the series.
You might ask why the end of the series? Well primarily because of my own headcanon that Chase in general tends to stay out of Norrisville Ninja business out of respect to First and also because they change so fast, (I mean what are 4 years to immortal??) he rarely gets to pay attention to them, let alone get interested in them and their usefullness to his agenda with First. But if something big happens, like I dunno, Randy defeating Ghoulian and unmaking the Sorcerer himself it would make Chase pay attention to Randy and realize how useful he can be.
The other important reason, is because of episode 'Winner Takes Ball' where we catch the tiniest glimpse of the actual evil side of Randy that appeared thanks to influence of Chaos Ball. He is power hungry, he is so sure of himself, he is cocky, he is merciless and ruthless and most importantly he still loves being THE Ninja. There is no annoyed apathy and uncaringness that NomiRandy displayed, this Evil Randy would have been just as hyper as normal Randy, enjoying his newfound powers just as much, but also would be unburdened with morals of using those powers.
Because, you see, I think Actual Evil version of Randy is in many ways would be a lot like an Evil version of Omi. Evil Omi was hyper pumped, thriving on newfound power, in this new freedom from morals, ruthless and doing what he wanted, rather than what is right. And what he wanted is to fight, to show everyone how talented he was, that he was the best warrior there ever was.
And what does Randy want? Constantly throughout the show Randy expresses his delight at being the Ninja (unlike some protagonists that find themselves suddenly thrust into a hero role, Randy takes to it instantly, there is literally ZERO hesitation from this boy), he loves it and most importantly he wants to be this strong, powerful, capable and amazing.
But that is also one of the most important Ninjanomicon continues to impart on the Ninjas - not to be this prideful and arrogant, and chase after power with such disregard to everything else.
So, now picture it like this:
Chase learns about Randy and what he has done, and how talented and powerful this new ninja is. At some point he discovers about NomiRandy and what happened, and it gives him an idea.
Chase Reverse Chi-s Randy, and this Evil Randy is still Randy in many ways, and it would absolutely devastate First to see him like this - power-hungry and ruthless, disregarding everything that Ninjanomicon taught him to prevent exactly this fall to Darkness and Evil, and the worst part is he has been taken under Chase's wing not only to nurture and encourage this new evil seedling - but to taunt First and Ninjanomicon, because - isn't it what you once wanted to teach him by creating NomiRandy? About his dark self that should be kept in check and balanced in a good warrior, good ninja? But your lesson was deeply flawed and now look at me, I will do a so much better job than you ever attempted, and I will show this young Ninja, that it's not only the bad side that needs to be balanced but the good side as well.
Which would play into what you said earlier - NomiRandy, or in this case just Evil Randy - will be so power-hungry and thirsty for fighting, he will disregard many things, like the fact that existing like that is impossible - even such urges must be tampered in order to actually live a fullfilling (if evil) life. And who is better to show and teach it to him than Chase Young, who (most likely) spent centuries in the beginning of his immortal life so hungry for battle, he served as an attack dog for Hannibal Roy Bean. But with time Chase has found balance in his new evil existence, and that helped him to overcome Roy Bean and rise to new heights.
That comparison about how Roy Bean controlled Chase, can also can influence how Randy views Ninjanomicon (and by extension First), and how tightly it tries to hold reigns of Ninjas it teaches. I mean, Randy sometimes resented the lessons and rules Ninjanomicon gives, we've seen it a few times, but Evil Randy will feel all of that frustration and annoyance even more, like a rebelious teenager that saw how controlling the authoriive figure in their life is and it will poison his relationship with Ninjanomicon.
And First? Well, Evil Randy could also bring up how Randy, a supposedly not-good enough for your high-and-mighty Ninja Rules and Forbidden Powers managed to do what the original oh-so-powerful Ninja could not - finally defeat the Sorcerer. About how a teenager that you dumped your mask on, your responsibility, and kept holding back with all your stupid rules and limitations - did what you couldn't in 800 years. And what can First even answer to that? Because its all true, no matter how poisoned Evil Randy's view may be, the bare facts are all true.
So, First can only watch, helpless and angry and so so sad, how Chase takes under his wing the one who saved the world from Sorcerer (not even once, but twice) and twists that raw power and energy that served for good into something that will serve evil. ( And the worst part, is that it all happened because of First - because of Chase's initial interest in First. All in an attempt to get to him.)
And well, like you said, there could be two endings - where Evil Randy is here to stay (aka Very Bad Ending lol), or where Good Randy makes it out of Ying-Yang world and reunites with his Evil self again.
But even then, the damage will be done. Because Chase's lessons could still continue. I mentioned earlier about lessons in balance, and how in good warrior, not only his dark side should be kept in check, but his good side also. In a way, I think Good Randy will lack a very important part to being a Ninja - and its the ruthlessness that Evil Randy brandishes like a blunt weapon, but with Chase it could be sharpened into a precise tool, and if Good and Evil reunite, the lesson will be still carried over.
And not only that will be carried over, but all the words and feelings that Evil Randy experienced -Randy will remember, and that can forever change and/or damage his relationship with Ninjanomicon and First. And Chase? Well, Randy will also remember that Chase was not just an Evil Jerk that split him in half - he actually tried to help and teach his Evil self to control himself better, so the seedling of mentor&mentee relationship will still be there.
After all of this, I have to admit, unlike you, I have a harder time imagining how exactly the situtation will help Chase sway/manipulate First to his side. I mean, this way Chase might probably sway Randy to his side, especially if he somehow orchestrates the return of Good Randy and says that all of this was just a lesson to help Randy be a better warrior, because he just couldn't watch all this talent wither away under Ninjanomicon's dubious tutelage.
But when it comes to First, If anything, I think it will actually backfire horribly. First is already constantly unstable in his regards to Chase, but something like this will only solidify his belief in Chase being a manipulator that could never be trusted, because its one thing to try and manipulate First to his side, but its another to involve his kid successor. First might even lose whatever respect he had for the immortal, because he would view manipulation of children as beneath him (of course I think Chase will argue, that those young warriors are hardly children).
I think I mentioned it before in some ask, but I personally believe that if Chase will try to get to Randy it will just send First into apocleptic levels of anger, and destroy any slim chances Chase had, and will literally set him back to zero in his progress with First, lol.
But that's just my personal view, you probably have some really good ideas about that! ;D
On another note, a tiny thing I got to disagree with a little - is about Chase being above 'petty mischief'. I can agree about Chase not being particularly petty, but mischief? In my opinion, this immortal lizard is very much into mischief, albeit a more strategic type of mischief. xD This is the man who continuously taunted pre-teens while trying to manipulate one of them to his side, and also continuously made poor Jack's life hell.
Though admittiedly, I like to think that being around First Ninja brings out more of Chase's mischevious side (opposite to his cruel and uncaring sides) - partially because First Ninja doesn't always reacts the way Chase expects him to. And sometimes Ninja catches Chase before he gets into a scheme and that sometimes leaves Chase himself wrong-footed. And partially because, Chase grew to enjoy testing Ninja's patience a little too much, after the got to know each other better.
But you are right about the fact that in this ship it should empathized more how much of a threat and manipulator Chase could be, the problem is i can't write this type of characters like at all, lol, to my great dissapointment i just don't know how to do it well. xD So that version of Chase just kind of exists half-baked in my mind, and meanwhile in my art and fics he just turns into a mischevious asshole with all his schemes in background, haha.
Anyway, I tried really hard to adress everything you mentioned and offer some insights and ideas, but i still feel like i might have missed something, so - sorry about that! I know its probably not the answer you quite expected, but I do hope it was sufficient, and if not - that at least it was entertainin to read! ;3
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rotisseries · 11 months
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chapters 51 and 58 of bloodmarked are absolutely CARRYING bree/nick/selwyn polyamory truthers
#selwyn is kind of a stupid name I realized as I was typing this. like I've gotten used to it over 2 books but it's so silly. selwyn#anyway. me disappearing for days and only showing up for like 30 minutes to reblog 3 things#and make a nigh incomprehensible post letting you guys know what book I'm reading now (read. I finished it yesterday actually.#now I'm rereading legendborn bc I'm apparently not ready to move on to a new book and also I forgot most of the shit from that book)#anyway I've been on the polyamory train for these 3 since I read legendborn in 2020 but I swear it's only gotten stronger#like what do you MEAN selwyn (magically oathed to protect nick) FEELS SAFER with nick around#THE SAME WAY BREE DOES. AND BOTH SELWYN AND NICK LIKE. AGREE ON HOW MUCH THEY LOVE BREE. AND THERE'S NO WEIRD JEALOUSY ABOUT IT#AND SELWYN CANONICALLY WAS AT ONE POINT IN LOVE WITH NICK????#AND NICK LITERALLY SAYS TO SEL “I CAN'T LOSE YOU AND I WON'T LOSE HER”????#LIKE?????#THERE IS NO WAY THIS IS YOUR STANDARD ASS LOVE TRIANGLE IT'S GOTTA BE AT LEAST A LITTLE POLYAMORUS#IF NOT A FULL TRIANGLE BREE SHOULD AT *LEAST* GET 2 BOYFRIENDS. SHE DESERVES IT#even if it does end up a standard love triangle though this is honestly a genuinely good one#like I genuinely like both love interests neither of them are weird or annoying or creepy about her#anyway. need book 3 out as soon as possible I swear to god I almost can't see how this ends in monogamy#I'm talking about the legendborn series by tracy deonn btw everyone#another arthurian inspired book series which if you saw my other post the other day I swear this isn't intentional#legendborn#bloodmarked#the legendborn cycle#tracy deonn#bree matthews#nick davis#selwyn kane
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sunshades · 7 months
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give it up for the recognition scene !
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bumblingbabooshka · 1 year
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Tuvok’s Vulcan Facebook would just be plant growth progress reports, pictures of his kids and then massively reblogged Vulcan quotes like (picture of Surakian Texts) “This book will either keep you from illogic...or illogic will keep you from this book.”
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caninekakashi · 2 years
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HERE IS THE POST!! I AM NOT A COWARD!!
kakashi has Bad Dog Disorder and a dissociation problem, and here is why
first, we need to establish what makes a ‘bad dog’ bad. and the answer to that, in a cruel home, is everything
what is a bad dog?
a bad dog is a dog that barks too loud, that whines too much, that wants too loudly, that needs too humanly. a bad dog is a dog that is seen, or a dog that is heard, or a dog that isn’t seen, or isn’t heard.
a bad dog is a dog that can never win, because no matter what they do, no matter how they behave, they are always bad. once you’re awarded that title, there is no giving it away.
which brings us to “friend killer” kakashi.
bad dog disorder
there is literally no other way to describe what kakashi has going on mentally than just calling him a bad dog. every action, every reaction, it all comes from a place of wanting to be Good. he wants to be good DESPERATELY, he wants to be good for his father, he wants to be good for his sensei, he wants to be a good leader, a good teammate, he wants to be a good shinobi, he wants to be good. but at every step of the way, every turn, every leg of the journey of his youth, he is shown repeatedly, and unequivocally, that he is Bad.
he tries to follow the rules, tries to do the opposite of what killed his dad. obito tells him that hes wrong, kakashi learns that he’s bad when he fails. if he was good, he would have succeeded.
(he and his father are bad, theres no way around it. the village hated them for good reason)
he tries to take care of his team, tries to protect rin. Rin takes away Kakashi’s choice and uses him as a weapon.
that is a very important shift in kakashi’s mental state, rin jumps in front of kakashi’s hand. rin uses kakashi as the weapon to end her own life. she USES HIM as a WEAPON, for the very first time, and she loves him for it.
kakashi is used as a weapon, and he is loved for it. there is no coming back from that.
everyone kakashi has lost in his young life, has died for or because of him.
(he is bad because he failed, because he killed the one person he was supposed to protect, he can’t be good no matter how hard he tries, so why try?)
(but kakashi still tries.)
anbu
minato puts kakashi in anbu to keep him close, to get him to guard kushina, to TRY and give him a break, a moment, and then he dies, and no one ever pulls kakashi out.
it is my personal belief, that kakashi is a pacifist. i don’t think he likes fighting, i think fighting alongside allies terrifies him, just look at his reaction to gai opening the 8 gates. that is not the expression of a jonin shinobi prepared to do what it takes, that is the face of a terrified man about to lose another person for and because of him.
hound never looks like this.
kakashi in anbu is noticeable becuase he does not emote, not even when the mask is off, at most he will glare, very frequently he is completely blank.
kakashi removes himself from situations that scare him, as noted by his refusal to get close to people and his desire to flee. he dips out the second the option becomes available, because he is scared.
being in anbu? doing horrific missions now because minato isnt there to keep him close, to keep him from seeing the great depths of depravity humanity is capable of? kakashi is a child, and he is a weapon, and anbu will use him like one.
if he stayed present, if he was there for every mission, every massacre. if he was in the moment, in every second spent with his hand through another person’s chest, he would die. kakashi would die. gai was right, that’s NOT who kakashi is.
but someone has to be.
which brings us to:
kakashi’s shitty brain
this man has mental disorders previously only contractible by shrimp.
he is contrasted to obito frequently, which is correct, theyre good narrative pieces, but they are polar opposites.
obito feels deeply and obsessively, the emotion he feels in the moment is the strongest he’s ever felt in his life, there is no memory of any other feeling while he’s feeling it.
and kakashi can’t convince himself to feel anything, not really.
obito is angry, a righteous furious kind of rage that demands payment for the suffering that led to it. but kakashi doesn’t have that rage, he can’t. there are times when he has anger, sometimes even intensely, but he can’t keep it. kakashi doesn’t have the fuel required to keep any strong emotion alive long enough for him to feel it.
obito and kakashi both have a very small, scared child in them.
they always come back to that moment, that mission, back to when they were a team.
there is a terrified child in them both, and then there is something else, some kind of hurting thing, something that keeps them safe.
kakashi lives as the child, and obito lives as the other one.
if obito and kakashi were stuck in a hole, you could throw them both a rope. obito would climb out, indignant and angry at the circumstances that put him in that hole, and kakashi would hang himself.
to their core, they are different. because obito wants to be a savior, and kakashi wants to be saved.
but with his team gone, with his father dead, his sensei dead, with his friends kept at an arms length to keep them safe, there is no one to keep him safe.
there is no one to save him.
so kakashi has to save himself
hound
hound is a mask, one would argue that it is The Mask. the mask to hide all things, the mask that is worn whenever something kakashi can’t handle approaches him. whenever kakashi is afraid, whenever he is that small child, there is hound.
hound came to him when kakashi was young. hound was bloody to kakashi’s broken, and kakashi needed him to survive.
hound settles over kakashi like a second skin, awkward and ill fitting, hound was made of kakashi, but kakashi was not hound.
hound is the knife, kakashi is somehow, still, not the wielder.
hound moves when prompted, kills when asked, attacks when threatened, and anbu uses him like the weapon kakashi couldnt survive being.
kakashi has a Very complicated relationship with hound, because even out of anbu, hound doesn’t leave. hound has been there for over half kakashi’s life, he is a prominent part of his existence now.
kakashi knows that it was his body, his hands in another’s chest, his feet used to kick, to break, but it is hound that was standing in front of him, hound that was pulling the strings. 
hound has ALWAYS hurt kakashi, because that is what hound is, a weapon against that which kakashi cannot stand, what kakashi fears, hates. hound has always bit kakashi first, the target second. kakashi is used to it.
kakashi hides behind hound, needs hound to survive, because hound pulls the wool over his eyes, hound numbs the pain, hound lessens the blow, because. its a lot easier to justify your actions when you take away your control of the events. 
is a bad dog bad?
in any situation, kakashi can be himself, or he can be the dog, but he can't be both. so he has to choose who is what when he walks into any interaction, when he has to make any decision. 
is he kakashi, or is he the dog? does the dog take priority or does kakashi? and when the dog takes priority, it gets easier and easier to let it take charge. 
is a bad dog bad? no it does what its supposed to do. but what about you?
kakashi can’t afford to be ‘him’ in anbu, he has to be the dog, he has to be hound, he has to survive. his morals contradict with his mission and what he needs to do, his wants oppose what is demanded of him. hound is a shield to handle everything kakashi can’t handle.
when it comes to anbu, the choices he has to make, there is no clear ‘correct’ choice. and kakashi can’t make that connection because kakashi does not exist in a grey area. kakashi is either good, or he is bad, he can’t be both.
to a mentally stable person, it’s clear that these situations are not black and white, there is an overlap, a grey area, color. but dogs are colorblind.
so where does that leave kakashi
kakashi’s life is defined by an overwhelming lack of choice. lack of control.
he couldn’t control his village’s reaction to his father. couldn’t control his father’s suicide.
couldn’t control the cave in, had no choice about taking the eye.
he couldn’t control rin, had no choice about being used kill her
couldn’t even choose to help minato and kushina during the kyuubi attack.
couldn’t control, had no choice, had no way out, could only ever be dragged further in.
at the very least, he can choose to have hound, he can control that. chose when to wear that mask, but the funniest part about it, is that he can’t.
he’s removed from anbu against his will, stripped from his addiction with no transitional period, and then forced back into civilian life with a “thanks for your service” and no therapy or any reason to keep going.
and hound doesn’t leave.
hound is still full of teeth, sharp with his claws, he is still howling and haunted, hound still craves violence, still bites, snaps at whatever is closest.
when he was in anbu and JUST anbu, and all his allies were nameless, replaceable faces -- (they were never replaceable to kakashi, but hound doesnt care) -- hound could snap and bite, hound could do what it was created for, hound could gnaw on kakashi’s limbs, could rip into his enemies, could handle all the bloodshed that always led kakashi into a panic attack.
WITHOUT anbu, all kakashi has are s rank missions, and his friends who are trying to save him, and it’s not the same. kakashi has no choice but to continue courting what he has known his entire life, violence, and whatever hurts him the most. hound never goes away.
kakashi lives his life off of table scraps, never taking more than he is given, never asking for more. he does not deserve more, somewhere along the way kakashi confused ‘living’ with surviving, and hound
hound never goes away.
psa guys i promise i know thats not how dog colorblindness works it was just a metaphor <3
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bambi-lesbian-posts · 2 months
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What the fuck was Past Me talking about. Don't listen to her she was delirious
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