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scaramoosy · 7 hours

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Late night texting with your ex-boyfriend is never a good idea, but I went ahead anyway. With a sigh, I sent him a 'hi' and anxiously awaited his response. You're probably wondering about this guy. Satoru Gojo, my ex-boyfriend, is more gorgeous than the Greek gods, with bright blue eyes, snow-white hair, a 6'3" muscular frame, and veiny arms.

It was 3 AM, and I had no clue why ! texted him after three months apart.

Maybe I just missed his presence. We didn't break up because of cheating; it was more complicated than that. I nervously chewed my lip, knowing he was awake-he never slept, always staying up to protect me. I shuddered at the thought of him protecting someone else now. When my phone finally dinged, it was Gojo with a simple

'hi.'

We exchanged texts:

Me: Why are you up?

Gojo: I can ask you the same thing too, y'know?

Me: I couldn't sleep.

Gojo: Really? Maybe we should do something about that then.

Me: Are you with someone?

I didn't know why I asked that.

Jealousy, maybe? The thought of him with someone else churned my insides.

Gojo: No, why do you ask?

Me: Just wanted to make sure I'm not disturbing you.

Goio: You know vuu can never disturb me, love.

There it was-the nickname he used when we were together. I sighed, then another message came in.

Gojo: You said you can't sleep. I have an idea.

Me: Enlighten me.

Gojo: Take off your shirt.

I widened my eyes at his response.

Why would he want that?

Me: What? Why?

Gojo: Be a good girl and do what I say without questioning me.

I hated how much control he still had over me, but I did as he said, now bare from the waist up.

Me: ...I did

Gojo: Always so obedient. My sweet little princess.

I blushed and clenched my thighs together. What has this man done to me?

Gojo: What happened princess? Cat got your tongue?

Me: No, I just didn't expect you to reply to me that way.

Gojo: What way, princess? I didn't say anything out of ordinary.

I could feel his smug smirk through the screen.

Me: Shut up.

Gojo: Now that's not a nice way to talk to someone. Keep in mind that actions have consequences, princess.

I smirked. If he wanted to tease and play games, I was ready.

Me: What are you gonna do? Come over and knock this attitude out of me?

Gojo: Don't tempt me, princess. You might not be able to handle me if I did that.

Me: You're delusional. I'm a tough girl.

Of course I know how to handle people like you.

Gojo: Oh yeah? Let's see what that mouth of yours will say once I'm over there and fuck each of your bratty attitudes out of you.

I blushed. Maybe I wanted him to come over and do just that.

Me: All your tongue does is ramble stupid things. You know you can never do that.

Gojo: You're playing with fire here, princess. Once I'm there, my tongue is gonna show how much more it can do than just ramble.

Me: Pfft, as if. We both know you don't have the guts to actually do that.

Gojo: You know what, I'm done talking.

He went offline. I panicked, worried I had gone too far and upset him. Ten minutes later, there were knocks on my door. At nearly 3:30 AM, I opened it to find Gojo. He grabbed my neck, pushing me inside and trapping me against the wall. His blue eyes bore into mine, his grip tight.

"What happened, princess? Cat got your tongue again?" he smirked, noticing my reaction.

He spread my legs with his knee and whispered, "You thought I'd let you get away with this? Speak up, kitten." His new nickname turned me on.

"What are you doing here?" | managed to ask.

"I'm here to prove l'm the real winner of this game and to claim you as mine again. By the time I'm done, all you'll think about is me," he whispered, lifting me and carrying me to my bedroom.

He laid me gently on the bed, his hands tracing familiar paths down my body, igniting every nerve with a touch that was both demanding and tender.

His lips followed the same trail, leaving me breathless and yearning. The room seemed to pulse with the intensity of the moment, every sense heightened, every touch electric.

As he kissed me, his lips moved from my mouth to my neck, and I couldn't help but arch into him, a soft moan escaping my lips. He smiled against my skin, his hands exploring, reminding me just how well he knew my body. I tugged at his shirt, and he obliged, tossing it aside before pulling me closer.

His breath was hot against my ear as he whispered, "Still think I only ramble stupid things?" | shook my head, too caught up in the sensation to respond with words. He chuckled, a low, throaty sound that sent shivers down my spine.

The night stretched on, a blur of heated kisses and tangled limbs. He took his time, every movement deliberate, every touch designed to drive me to the edge. And when he finally whispered my name, it felt like a promise, a reminder of everything we once had and everything we could still be.

In the aftermath, as we lay entwined, the world outside seemed distant and unimportant. For now, there was only us, and the lingering echo of his touch on my skin.

#pov #anime #jjk x reader #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #jujutsu gojo #gojo x reader #pls idk why i wrote this😭

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lets-laughagain · 2 days

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Hi! I saw that you were in 3 shows of Louis in Brasil. Do you mind sharing your favorite moments of each show? If you do mind ignore my ask, I just love reading fan experiences of Louis' shows.

I hope you have a nice day!

hiii i'm sorry it took so long, i was enjoying the rest of my vacation then i got sick due to the different weathers in every city 😬, but anyways here we gooo

i know you asked for my favorite moments but i talk too much and rambled about everything kjsdnadsk

RIO I got to the venue at 7pm, after a lot of traffic and anxiety 🫠, and there was still a big line to get in making giant rooks go on stage 15 minutes later than expected. I had listened a bit to them when the opening acts were announced but i loooved seeing them live, their concert was so much fun, i had a lot on my mind that day but as soon as they started playing my worries were gone like, music is everything really.

The venue's capacity is for 18k people, but i guess there were about 12k there? I'm not sure but, the chairs around me were half empty (a lot of people moved to closer seats), the floor was full but the stands not so much yk. It makes sense when you think it was on a wednesday and a lot of people couldn't make it.

As I went alone to this one and there weren't many people around me it was like me and louis and just letting out all of my emotions. Idk if it happens to anyone else, but I get a lot more emotional when I'm alone at shows. I don't even have much to say here cause I was really there in the moment giving my all, screaming my lungs out to hoth and feeling all this time deep in my soul (the drama lmao).

SÃO PAULO I was really tired after barely a day of rest at home, then packing another bag to curitiba, it was hectic, but thank god i had stands tickets again and my friends got there ealier and saved a seat for me.

Not to paraphrase harry but, that show was loud, loud and LOUD. Seriously, I've never seen so many people scream and jump for an opening act?? I was actually kinda shocked at how full the stadium was, its full capacity is 60k but as they were using only half the space i guess there were about 25k-30k people, it was really packed. Like, that video from outside the stadium that you can hear the screams is kinda crazy if you think it wasn't at full capacity.

This concert left me so proud of him, of how far he has come, like he said with no radio support or anything, seeing him in my favorite venue in my city with so many people screaming for him was something really special. This one was really about US, the fans and louis, i can't say it enough but the crowd was like part of the show too. Also, the big stage, the catwalk, the fireworks, those things made it all so much bigger, like a celebration for where he is now. I'll never forget his face impressed by the crowd like every five seconds, he deserves it all, i love this man to death.

His only wrongs that day tho were wearing that ugly outfit and not singing saturdays on a saturday!!!!

CURITIBA I had slept for like 4 hours, took a flight in the morning and spent the whole day kinda sick and anxious, I really do not know were i took forces to this concert but i did and i gave 200% of myself. I had floor tickets this time so i let myself go and jump around like crazy.

We stayed in the left side of the stage were it was a lot more chill and we could walk around. Most of the time I stayed a bit close to the stage but not so much cause i like having my own space to breath, sometimes I'd get closer to record something. By the encore I found an empty space in the far left of the barricade to see him better during silver tongues.

For me it was the most fun concert, you could see louis was happy, there was a group in front of me dancing and having so much fun together, like he said no one will stand still in a brazilian crowd that's for sure! Also, there was this girl who was talking to us before the concert who found me during the encore and we literally just screamed wdbhg at each other lmao i don't even know her name, but i can't stop thinking about it, it was really funny.

Oh and that outfit!!!! The way i screamed when i saw him in all black, i kept looking at my friends like why the fuck does this man look so good!!! WE WON!!!!

When the barricade moment happened I was only looking at him so I didn't understand what was going on, then by the end my friends said he was with a kid, but only when i got to the apartment we were staying i saw the full context and video, that broke me. He so sweet and precious, it makes everything i did for him so much more worth it than it already was, this plus the donations for Rio Grande do Sul filled my heart with so much love for him.

Also, after the concert we were trying to buy merch, but most sizes were sold out, the line was huge and security was hushing people out of the stadium 🙃 then 10 minutes later we found out louis was playing football at the pitch lmao

Some other points - I absolutely LOVE the stage design, the lights and screens going up and down work so great, it's amazing to witness it live - THE BAND, i don't even need to say anything right? his band is fucking incredible, i live for every single guitar solo from michael - The 2 seconds that takes people to realize that he is singing night changes and wdbhg are the funniest shit istg kskdnkll - People will ask me why I would go to the same concert 3 times, and just istg it IS different, they are all different experiences and i'd do it all over again (which i actually did, cause i saw louis twice and harry 3 times in 2022)

---

Last but not least, i will to speak in portuguese to thank my friends skjndkjsan

Eu sei que ela não vai ler, mas muito obrigada @hiddlestomlinson por aceitar fazer essa maluquice comigo, por vir até SP, ir pra Curitiba e me aturar por 5 dias seguidos, mesmo com tanto cansaço e doença foi tudo maravilhoso 🥹💜

@delicatepointofview de novo, muito obrigada por me ajudar tanto no Rio e pelo ingresso de última hora, mesmo passando por tanta coisa você foi um anjo 🥹 só conseguimos nos ver de longe, desse 🤏 tamanho, mas da proxima vem aí!!

@somuchstrdst e @icouldbeluckyagain amei encontrar e curtir um pouco do show com vocês!! NÓS VENCEMOS MUITO!!! ste, eu ate tava vendo seu recap hoje tomando café da tarde ajksndkjs

#savebylou #i'm sorry i talk too much #fitfwt #louis #my show

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misc-obeyme · 20 hours

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I'M ALIVE (BARELY) !! Work is kicking my ass. Also, lots of things went wrong for me this morning, but they all worked out in the end ?? Like I forgot to set my alarm, had to bring my mom's phone to her job bc she forgot it, my bus ended up running late because the doors would get stuck at stops. But I woke up on time, caught the bus after taking the phone, and made it early to work because the bus forgot to take the detour? My luck is insane (thanks Mammon.)

ANYWAY, i can no longer contain my thoughts about Mammon x Solomon x Mc. I'm just imagining my mc and Solomon who are both very curious, and love messing around with potions at purgatory hall, and finding alternatives to rare ingredients. This has definitely gone wrong a bunch of times (most days without a potion incident: 4)

and I'm imagining Mammon tagging along bc he misses mc and is jealous that Sol is taking up their time, but denies all claims - "I'm assigned to protect ya, ain't I?" "From Solomon?" "W-Well, he's a shady sorcerer!"

He sits on the floor by mc's feet, and will fetch them things because he can't say no to them. But he spends so much time listening to them brainstorm, he starts learning and will chime in randomly. Mc and Sol who are stuck on what to add, Mammon drops something in there, and they're both horrified until they realize the potion is perfect now. He just has a little database in his mind of what to add to something, and rare ingredients that the two wish they could get their hands on.

Thinking about Mammon doing a favor for a witch and she tells him to pick anything in her collection since she's low on money. He was about to be angry when he saw an ingredient that they've both been complaining is rare and hard to find. He asks the witch for that and then brings it to the two. He acts all nonchalant about it, trying to brush it off. Mc tackles him, meanwhile Solomon is in awe and staring with a twinkle in his eye.

Now Mammon starts requesting trades with witches, for a lower portion of grimm. Gets ingredients he knows they dream about, because the way mc and sol will get all giddy after he presents them with his earnings makes his stomach flip (he will never admit this)

"This is missing something" Solomon

"Yeah but I can't figure out what" MC

"Have you tried *insert seemingly common ingredient that doesn't work for most things*" Mammon

"But no one uses that, it's why we're always stuck with it" MC

"Couldn't hurt to try. See, watch." Mammon.

"WAIT, MAMMON DON'T- ... IT WORKED!?" Mc/Sol

----

"MAMMON HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET THIS, IT ONLY BLOOMS ONCE EVERY 100 YEARS" mc

"Dunno, got it from a random witch. Said she didn't need it. *spent two hours haggling with said witch*"

"...am I in love?" Solomon, reevaluating life

"Eh? What are ya mumbling about? If you're gonna thank me, I want it loud and clear!"

my crack ship <3 they mean everything to me. I caved and hunted down the plushies of them on ebay too. ALSO I GOT TWO OF MY COMMISSIONS BACK AND I'M 😭 they're perfect !!! I'm so so happy with them. Literally the lock screen is beautiful bc it's me and mammon cuddling (HIS MUSCLES CC!! IM DYING) and it looks like it was taken by like asmo or something who walked in to wake us up.

i think I'm also a hopeless romantic, I'm just scared of confronting my feelings lol (you're right in that it is worth it, I just need to figure out how to be brave </3). I throw myself into romance books and fanfics. Vaguely related, thinking about coffee shop au with barista!Mammon and college student!Solomon.

OKAY SORRY IM DONE RAMBLING 😭 HAVE A GOOD DAYYYY

- ✨ anon

Wow that does sound like a crazy morning!! I'm glad it all worked out, though~ Mammon is totally watching out for you!

OKAY but all of that sounds exactly like Mammon! I mean, he's super smart, he just doesn't usually bother to apply himself to anything. So it totally makes sense that he'd just pick up things because he's spending time with MC and Solomon. And then of course he's gonna end up seeing rare ingredients and being like, okay yeah I'm taking that. That all sounds absolutely adorable~

I'm curious about whether or not Solomon and Mammon would make a pact in this situation? I mean, if it's both of them and your MC that are in the relationship, do you think they would? Do you think Solomon would move past his obsession with getting a pact with Lucifer and end up in one with Mammon instead?

I always felt like Solomon doesn't really get Mammon, you know? But that doesn't mean he can't learn. And oh man, Solomon is such a tease and Mammon is so not good at being teased lol. That idea is giving me so many entertaining images, I can't even handle it.

Anyway, I'm totally here for it! It sounds really cute~

I'm so glad you're happy with your comms!!! They sound amazing!

And don't worry, you'll figure it out. I don't know how old you are, but I suspect you have plenty of time! It's a balancing act, you know? It's important to be honest with yourself about your feelings without letting them control you. But it's easier to decide what to do about them if you know what they are. Anyway, not to get all philosophical over here lol. I think the key is to find someone you want to be brave for, you know?

AUGH I love coffee shop aus sooooooo much!!! I was very obsessed with the idea of barista!Mammon for a while, mostly because of a daily chat where he was working at a cafe and then got into a fight with customer. He's good at finances, so I think he could be pretty business minded if he wanted to be. So I was thinking about a situation where he owns his own cafe, but when the customers get rude with one of his fellow baristas, he gets into a fight with them lol. I hadn't really considered who that other barista was, but it could be MC.

Anyway, I could ramble about coffee shop aus all day because I love them aklsdlkfjdfjkl

I hope you have a lovely day/night, too!!

#starting to get on the SoloMams train over here #well I can ship any two characters #because I think everyone is compatible #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me mammon #obey me solomon #✨ anon #misc answers

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canisalbus · 2 months

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Different Italian anon, but the thing with Tuscan C is that it's pronounced like a very strong H sound, which is extra weird cuz the letter H makes no sound in Italian, normally. It sounds the way Spanish pronounce the J. We say it's "aspirato". So then people from there will say things like Hoha Hola (coca cola), and it's funny. It's also extremely contagious, I got family in Florence, you spend 3 days with them you start doing it too before you even realize.

#that sounds really endearing actually #answered #anonymous #this is entirely beside the point but I still feel sort of bamboozled by languages that have silent letters #or when letters have multiple pronunciations that vary wildly from word to word #and when the sound and the letter don't seem to match like how J sounds very close to H in Spanish like you mentioned #I'm generalizing a little but none of these are really a thing in Finnish #in Finnish words are pretty much always pronounced the way they are written if that makes sense #I don't know the language terminology but I think phonetic spelling is what you call it #each letter represents a specific sound and you string those together #when you hear a word you can always tell how it's written and when you read a word you know how to pronounce it #even if you're encountering the word for the first time and have no idea what it means #it's comparatively direct and predictable there's practically no need for guessing or memorizing #also the stress is always on the first syllabe and it's so subtle it might as well not be there at all #which sometimes makes spoken Finnish and Finnish accent sound kind of monotonous there isn't a lot of intonation #I was extremely confused by the concept of spelling bees as a kid #anyway long tag ramble but this stuff is just interesting to me

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13eyond13 · 4 months

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love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world

#im talking about griffith btw #guts i feel i get intuitively - maybe because i have some personality traits in common with him #and we get more about his life concretely told to us in canon. so he is a bit easier to pin down as a character and feel attached to for me #but whenever i was reading the manga i just kept wanting more insight about griffith's actions and feelings #like ok yeah its fun to have mysterious antagonists and suspense /tension etc but its also fun to feel like you deeply understand them too #and i felt like that was a bit missing from him for me in canon #so reading about him in analysis and fics is the most fun for me rn #he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something?#and wished we had more stuff explicitly from his pov in the story to read or explanation about his transformation or wtv #and now he's so much more closed off to me even than he was in the golden age. i keep waiting for him to explain stuff and he does not #ANYWAYS all this rambling to say some people out there are very good at interpreting him and making his like. insecurities #more obvious to me bc i didnt really get that side of him from canon intuitively well #also im really enjoying reading the first few berserk fics ive read #there may not be a ton of them out there but there is def writing talent in the fandom #i'll share some recs once i'm done sifting through most of what's out there to read #also (not to tie everything back to death note but it IS my home fandom after all)#i feel griffith is obvs the more light-like character here and L maybe a bit guts-like? but unlike berserk in death note #light is the one you get to know best and L is the mysterious / unreal one you don't get a lot of concrete insight into #and in the DN fandom I can read the more mysterious character intuitively but had to warm up to the less mysterious one instead #and the mystery of L makes sense to me and doesnt bug me as much due to like - he HAS to hide a lot about himself or else he will die lol #so some similarities there but also some opposite feels as well #berserk spoilers #p

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siliconforbrains · 4 months

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Okay, it's like 10pm on a work night and I haven't had any coffee today so my thoughts are a little scrambled BUT. I WAS THINKING.

(About In Stars and Time of course I'm always thinking about that game)

A couple of years ago, at the height of Steddie -my sister was big into it and recced me some fics okay- I read this fic about Steve dealing with time loops ("The one in which a time loop is fucking exhausting" by badpancake) and there was this specific detail about the epilogue that stuck with me.

It was the idea that, once the time loops were done and over with, people would slowly start to remember bits and pieces of what happened in earlier loops. After being fractured for so long across dozens of timelines and experiences and outcomes, time was finally healing, and broken shards of lost memories would find their way back into people's minds.

And that got me thinking about a post-game what-if scenario where the same happens to the gang as they travel through Vaugarde.

Like they still don't remember everything -just bits and pieces. Experiences so emotionally charged that they found a way to cross the sands of time and reach them again.

The question is, what would those memories be? The first answer that comes to mind is some of Siffrin's deaths, of course. I can't imagine watching your friend get pancake-d by a boulder would be pleasant, nor witnessing them turning their own dagger to themselves. Or offering him a slice of your favorite snack only for him to go into anaphylactic shock in front of your very eyes, for that matter!

But there would be other instances too, wouldn't they? Death is not the only thing that shook them to their core. What about their first death to the King? Or Bonnie's fate at the end of Act 3? What about basking in the blissful feeling of victory against the tormentor of your land only to turn to look at your friend and know something is very, very wrong?

What about fighting through the House with a party of 4 instead of 5, bloodied, confused, staring in the face of the King knowing you're about to die and wondering why your friend left you all when you needed them most?

I honestly have no idea where I'm going with this, but I've been rotating this concept in my head since this morning and thought I'd get it out on here so y'all can suffer with me tehee

#maxisrambling #isat #isat spoilers #in stars and time #isat siffrin #i genuinely don't know if i'd ever write a fic about this concept #esp bc i already have like 3 wips im working on and i don't need another #but if i ever were to it would be like. a post-game fic where the party realizes just how bad the loops were #how they affected siffrin and how they mightve affected /them/#(bc love this found family to death but siffrin probably downplays a lot of the loops stuff until confronted /lh)#and meanwhile sif has to deal with the knowledge that his family is remembering things he never wanted them to remember #seeing things they never shouldve seen #and is probably filled with a fuckton of guilt about that bc even now that the loops are broken they're hurting them #they all need a hug oh my god #OFC it would have a happy hopeful ending but NSDJKVNDJKFV angst hurt/comfort <3 #okay im done rambling hopefully this makes sense #im gonna go pass out now id say sorry but I'm not lmao xoxo

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anachronistic-falsehood · 6 months

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the situation with dream rn is so fucking insane. imagine fucking gumball calls you a faggot in an uber and slaps the shit out of you. and like i'm not defending nicholas' behaviour either but he was very drunk and in the middle of a manic episode. gumball rocked ur shit dude. and on top of that, video/audio proof of dream sexting at least one minor came out so even if you somehow disregard all the past evidence of the stuff that came out with amanda and anastasia then like!! you can't fucking excuse this!!!! and now people are contacting the orange county police department about these new snapchat messages that came out!!! TAKE HIS ASS TO JAIL!!!

#whiskey yelling into the void #dream situation #i am just flabbergasted so much is happening all at once #sorry if this post makes little to no sense i'm just rambling trying to process everything holy shit #please let dream see some fucking consequences for the love of god let him actually get punished for this #i don't know how his career is still intact

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blorbosinmyheadcentral · 6 months

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Really curious to know where in the heck people got this "Caine is an old man" thing from

#rambles #Really. Where is this information from. I know gooseworx revealed all of the humans' ages but there is nothing on Caine or any of the AIs #It makes sense why that is because he's a frickin BOT. Are you going to tell me chatGPT is a middle aged man??#But sure he has a “coded age” or whatever; let's entertain the thought.#He clearly reads as an adult. But OLD???#What supports this???? We don't know how much time people have been in the Digital Circus or how long it has existed #“Years” is too damn vague. There is no specific sense for the passage of time #There's no way to determine his age that way #He could very well be younger than everyone in that place #Then is it his mannerisms??? HE'S A FREAKIN RINGMASTER #Are people just collectively assuming Caine is old just because????#I haven't found ANY basis for this ANYWHERE. GODDD #And it's annoying especially when people use this to justify antagonizing shippers #end rant #*hits edit button* AND ANOTHER THING #Look. Even if Caine IS old. That's okay #Everyone in the show is canonically an adult #I'm just baffled at this because people assume it's an absolute truth when we just. don't know.

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dootznbootz · 3 months

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I think some folks MAY have gotten the wrong idea about how I feel about Circe with some of my posts. So, to clear the air...

Homies, I love that fucked up sorceress.

I love how we're never given a reason why she turns people into animals. That's so funny and so awful. And another potion-making magic gal?!?! I love that she's just basically vibing on an island doing whatever she wants. I even love the fact that she scares Odysseus shitless! She's morally gray and that's why she's FUN.

I just sincerely hate when people try to girlboss her or have her be a victim of SA when she never was Looking at you, Miller. Especially when she was actually the one who coerced Odysseus in exchange for his men being transformed back into humans. And even then, while he was clearly afraid of her, (it's in the language of the Odyssey) she likely meant him no harm after a certain point. He just didn't know that.

Why does she need a reason to do awful things? Why can't she just be a goddess who does whatever she wants? That's the reason why I love her!!! She's fucked up!!! :D

I hate what the Telegony did to her as well! >:( You're telling me, this sorceress goddess, who makes potions (!!!) wouldn't have magic contraceptives??? Would WANT CHILDREN?!?! WITH THE PATHETIC WIFEMAN?! No. Fuck no. Eugammon of Cyrene, I have beef with you 🤬

Anyways!!! Understand all the "#anti circe" I have is simply Anti "Girlboss Circe" or the book. I genuinely think she's neat af as her morally gray, fucked up sorceress self and just get frustrated with...everything :'D

#I have these same feelings with Medea and Medusa and so many others. Penelope too. Let them do something fucked up just to be fucked up #I'm a “god forbid women do anything” in the sense of 'she did a fucked up thing. That's why she's fascinating. Don't take her awfulness #away from her!!! please! I wanna study her under a microscope!'😭#PLEASE #...I actually kind of don't like the idea of her actually caring about her nymphs :P maybe she “protects them” but like...#I see her as a “Why are all of you dancing? Oh. it's a birthday? hm okay. Just make sure your duties are done.” while not caring #whose birthday it is. She's not really shown to be close to them during the Odyssey and idk just seems in character for her to not give af #save me morally gray circe #<-making that a tag now because...yeah. She absolutely wouldn't save me though.#Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #anti madeline miller #anti circe #<-THE BOOK! I HATE THE BOOK! LET HER BE AWFUL YOU COWARDS #Why do women need to be SA'ed to be strong Miller?! >:(#...Ima say it. The pathetic wifeman is more relatable to me than Hot Snake Monster Lady when it comes to this stuff.😤#I just sincerely hate the fact that people erase what happened to him you know? It's silly but it means a lot to me.#Also I think she got bored of him immediately and simply let him chill at her place.#She's a goddess. She's got better things to do and she absolutely doesn't love him and he absolutely doesn't want her.#I don't have with Eugammon btw. He's dead and I'm exaggerating but I STILL hate the Telegony >:(#tw sa #kind of??? idk #barely mentioned but yeah #Calypso though?? Yeah. I hate her in practically everything except Pirates of the Caribbean because that's not Odyssey Calypso

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dreamingaboutsakuratrees · 15 days

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Dear God how I fucking hate when people dismiss s character's traits because "that's just a facade! you as the reader have to see underneath it!!" like yeah no fucking shit Sherlock, a well written character has more than one (1) defining trait but that doesn't mean their most prominent one or the one most recognized by fandom ISN'T there

yes this is about people thinking dick grayson isn't actually a ray of sunshine, that it's just a mask. he's much more than the happy one, of fucking course, all batfam members (when written well) are, but that doesn't mean that being happy and bright is not a crucial part of his personality. he brings light to people's lives, he's a beacon of hope, that's what Robin was born for, as a light to Batman's darkness. That's what Nightwing is. He can be serious, sure. He's smart, an amazing strategist, incredibly good at fighting, he can be manipulative and morally gray and sometimes an objectively bad person. But he's ALSO funny and quippy and bright and sunshine. BECAUSE HE'S WELL WRITTEN.

Like Jesus stop making him so sad and wrong all the time just because you want so bad to go against "fanon". It's not fanon if it's literally his core trait. It's not fanon if it's what the character was BORN AS. God.

#I'm not sure if this even makes sense #it's almost 6am I haven't slept and I just saw someone say he's a manipulative bitch and to stop writing him as a ray of sunshine #and now I'm mad #because this parson had this lukewarm takes with most of the batkids #like yeah I get a lot of damian's traits and back story are deeply rooted in racism #but like he did try to kill tim. and he killed a bunch of people when he first got to Gotham. that's a thing that happened.#and no matter how racist the reason behind that plot line might have been #it's something that happened and choosing to believe it didn't happen because it doesn't fit your preconceived ideas of how #a character should or should not be is just plain stupid #you can explore the character and change their personality and play with them in fanfic sure that's what we all do #but don't pretend that canon doesn't exist. you can choose to utilize it or not but acknowledge it even if it's just to spit in it's face #damian's not tame he's not more chill than his brothers he's not misunderstood #he's a child who had a horribly traumatic childhood and reacts with violence because that's all he knows #Jason's angry and he has every right to be and to say he isn't is to erase an incredibly important part of his character #you don't get to tell a victim how to be a good victim. Jason's a victim.#dc #batman #rambles #batfam #batfamily #dc universe #dc comics #batman and robin #dick grayson #Jason Todd #Damian Wayne #nightwing #red hood #oh look I made a post about dc that is NOT about Tim #wild huh

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romance-rambles · 14 days

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TRUE LOVE'S KISS

The one where you kiss the merman awake, and in return, he wipes away your tears. Meanwhile, William is both oblivious and confused.

— word count: 2.3k

— pairing: [modern] clarence clayden x little painter/mc, [background] modern trio

— tags: alternate scene, spoilers for clarence's azure island route, some suggestive content, some angst and comforting, then humor

— note: sometimes, mc is just so unapologetically single-minded and relatable that i too want to kiss her. in that way, technically, i will have kissed clarence [or the other boys] too. but, also, haha, this was supposed to be fluffy. i don't know why it turned out this way

return to lbc masterlist | series: none

WAITING IS A TERRIFYING GAME.

You take Clarence's hand in yours, desperately trying to think of anything but the half-coherent fears buzzing around in your ear. They whisper the same thing over and over again, deliberately circumventing the semi-comforting words of the young medic who had teased you earlier.

He is fine now, but what if.

What if, what if, what if—

Amidst the constant chanting, you make a note to throttle your boyfriend. Honest and deliberate communication can come afterwards, once he's realized how much he worried you. It's a good thing you've developed a habit of listening to your instincts—what if you hadn't been waiting for him on the beach? What if something far worse had happened to him?

Gnawing at your bottom lip, you curse his usual tendencies—so very Clarence that they remind you that this is the man you fell in love with.

"Wake up, or I'll go date William instead," you threaten, in a hushed whisper.

Your voice cracks early on, though it's not as though its trembling quality could lend itself to a threat anyways. Leaning over, you brush his wet bangs out of his face lovingly. Then, your hand slides down with a gentle carress and cups his cheek, wiping away the water dripping from his hair.

With color slowly returning to his lips, you can allow yourself to appreciate his handsome face in an effort to pass the time. Now, you can almost imagine he's asleep, much like the princess in Sleeping Beauty—quietly awaiting the true love's kiss that'll wake him up.

CPR, that is, you correct yourself.

Due to your mistake, your cheeks take to burning, as though the shame flooding through your system will temper your own tendencies. You dare not accept the reminder of the medic's words that your brain helpfully offers you. Instead, you barrel onwards, as if it never existed.

"Ten seconds," you murmur. It sounds like a promise. "I'll kiss the merman—ahem, perform CPR in ten seconds."

A bit too faithfully, unfortunately.

With a grimace, you squeeze Clarence's hand gently. The humor behind your blunder had briefly calmed you down, but as your countdown begins, you find yourself back at square one. You really will throttle him.

In lieu of reaching for his neck, you pull at his cheek gently, just enough that it soothes your worry. Not once does he stir—and perhaps that's what emboldens you. Slowly, the distance between the two of you shrinks, and you are so preoccupied by the almost hypnotic hold your repetition has on you that you don't notice.

But when you do—

I can count his lashes, you realize, blinking away the familiar burning sensation in your eyes.

By now, you've lost track of where you were—both in terms of the countdown and your surroundings. There are people on the beach, but, perhaps, having sensed your volatile emotions, they do not dare cross over to the little spot on the beach you have to yourselves. You start counting again, expertly dodging the temptation of kissing your beloved.

10, 9, 8...

When you reach the final number—zero, not one—you reluctantly let go of his hand. And, mirroring your other hand, the newly-freed one comes to rest on his cheek. The mole underneath his eye disappears under your trembling thumb.

When you hit zero, you finally allow yourself to kiss the merman.

SOMEONE IS KISSING HIM.

This, Clarence surmises even without opening his eyes. They're touching his face too, as if even the rarest of treasures are incomparable to him, even as they tremble against him. He knows, instantly, that it is you.

Who else would touch him so lovingly? And who else has touched him so lovingly?

When he opens his eyes, Clarence is rewarded for his guess by the sight of you leaning over him.

Your eyes are closed; unshed tears cling to your delicate lashes, quietly asking him to do something about them. There's little time to be flustered. Yet, paradoxically, it is the best time to be flustered. Your lips are soft and they taste of your favorite chapstick—the one you obsessively put on when you're stressed.

Somehow, though he doubts the formula changes every other day, it tastes sweeter each time he rediscovers it.

For a moment, he closes his eyes, lifting his hand up in the air, just above your arm. His cheeks are still warm, and his ears even warmer, when he rethinks his move and finally fulfills the request.

You open his eyes, startled by his gesture.

"Clarence?" you sputter out weakly, once you've established some distance between them both.

He has half a mind to point out the irony of the moment, before you go ahead and wipe your tears away. His gaze fixes itself upon your hands, clad in the same protective gear as his own. The warmth he felt from your touch would've had him believing otherwise, if he did not have his sight to fall back upon.

Hoping to find something to occupy himself with, he reaches for his glasses. They are, of course, not there—he'd replaced them for contacts before he went diving.

Thankfully, you seem oblivious to his blunder as you wring your hands, desperately looking for an excuse.

"That's, um—"

The black diving suit you're wearing contrasts sharply against the gold and orange of the evening sky. It was early in the afternoon when he dove into the waters, and then—the gears begin to turn in his head, reminding him of how he'd collapsed into your arms. Some leniency, he thinks, is deserved.

"CPR," Clarence says slowly, feeling a sharp twinge of pain in his head as he sits up. "Is that not what you were doing?"

You look at him, clearly bewildered. Soon, as scarlet blooms across your cheeks, you're diving into the crook of his neck with a groan. There's some kind of inside joke he's missing, but he can't find it in himself to worry about it too much.

"Don't," you say fiercely, "ever do that again."

As you adjust yourself against him, your body now pressed up against his, your grip on his diving suit tightens. Coherency leaves him that same moment—all he knows to do is wrap his arms around your trembling form and softly call out your name.

At some point, he'll tell you all that he's learned. About your mother. About the strange python he'd encountered, the one that seemingly shared his voice. But for now, it is just you and him, bathed in the rosy hue cast out by the sun, and—

"Thank you for waking up."

WHEN YOUR SNIFFLING SUBSIDES, CLARENCE begins to delve into the series of events that led him to stumble into your arms. You listen intently, only ever interrupting him to offer your own conclusions.

That is, until he admits he'd like to face anything and everything in his path with you.

Your sentiments are well-practiced; your only argument, compelling. It's true—you are his lover, and you do occupy an entirely different tier within his heart. There is no one else he'd trust more to watch his back. You cannot do that if you're not by his side.

You offer him your pinky and he links his own with it.

"Okay," he says softly. "I promise, my lover."

Your eyes narrow fondly at him. Slipping your pinky out of his grip, you throw your hands around him. It seems you're still shaken up by the experience, and Clarence—having already put himself in your shoes and concluded that he'd act no differently—can understand why.

"Okay," you repeat. You've both changed out of your diving suits, having exchanged them for your usual summerwear somewhere in between the two events. "I'm going to hold you to it."

"Alright."

His assumption that his agreement marks the end of their conversation soon turns out to be false. You hug him tighter, leaving your soft hair with more opportunities to tickle his cheek. After a momemt, you sheepishly admit:

"It, um, wasn't CPR."

Clarence can feel his cheeks warm up again. You're faring no better, though it'd be easy to miss with the way you're hiding your face. It's hardly the first time you've kissed each other—though the heightened emotions make for what is perhaps one of the most unforgettable ones yet.

"I know," he admits.

"Okay," you say, clearing your throat. The words come out rushed and awkward. He thinks back to when you rendered him speechless in the Student Council's clubroom and wonders how he could pull off the same thing. "Glad we had this talk."

When he can't think of anything witty to add to the conversation, Clarence simply admits the truth.

"I liked it," he says. You inhale sharply, and he thinks he might've pulled his objective off through sheer, disarming honesty. "Though, next time, I'd like to do it when we're both happy. I...know it's my fault, but—I dislike seeing you cry."

You call out his name, and next time comes faster than he was expecting.

PERHAPS IT'S DUE TO THE recent revelation you bestowed upon him that William can't help but take note of the distance between the two of you. Your hands are still intertwined, though, proving the truth behind what you'd said to him earlier.

He has—

He has a lot of questions. Like, actually, a lot. As in, actually, he'd spent the entire time preparing a quiz worthy of the Student Council President.

Because if it's true, then he's calling dibs on being the best man at the wedding. And William sure hopes it is because he's already made plans to become Uncle William to any of your future children, whether they're of the human or cat variety. The ship has sailed for yours and Clarence's current, combined brood of cats, but he'll try hard regardless.

His progress with Beanie was looking quite promising when he'd visited you before the trip, after all. He's tentatively excited about the play date he's scheduled for himself after the trip.

The only problem is, he can't really wrap his head around it. How? And why? Is Clarence even capable of seduction?

As he plops down onto the sand, now much cooler than it had been in the morning, William makes a show of scolding Clarence. The scary dark mage of the Student Council doesn't need to know that he almost burned a misshapened circle through the rug in his room. Besides, how often does he get the upperhand?

Never.

He nods decisively. Right, never.

Thanks to the setting sun, your faces have taken on a reddish hue. And while the fear of potentially losing Clarence—one he can relate to—has rendered you unable to speak without introducing a shrilly note to your voice, the guilt of leading you to that point has left Clarence unable to go a sentence without coughing politely into his clenched hand.

It must've been bad.

You must've been downplaying it when you texted him. It'd been a short message, straight to the point. For a moment, William almost convinced himself it was Clarence before he remembered that the president does not text without proper punctuation.

(And for a small, small fee, William thinks he could be persuaded to remember that scene a bit more clearly—so long as news of it does not reach Clarence's ears.)

"Alright," he says, temporarily putting his plans for a pop quiz on hold, "I think it's time we went back to the hotel. I'm exhausted, Clarence. Do you know hard it was to stare at my phone for so long?"

To William's surprise, his fellow Student Council members smiles faintly. It's a bit strange looking at him without glasses on, as if something is just undeniably wrong with the very fabric of time and space itself.

"Thank you, William," Clarence says, and the pink-haired boy is left to blink confusedly. Something really is wrong. "I'm sorry to have worried you."

"Worried?" he sputters out, his own cheeks growing warm. "I—okay, maybe I was a little worried."

"A little," you echo. Your intentions are hardly as sincere as your boyfriend's—and gah, that's still weird. "Just enough to want to go looking out for him in my stead, right?"

As the couple begins to smile, now looking eerily similar to each other, William hurriedly stands up. The colors of the setting sun don't cling to their faces nearly as much as they once did. Whatever awkwardness was between them seems to have vanished, almost instantaneously.

He can't help but think that his upper hand is no longer his.

"Anyway, I'm starving!" he says, pointing in the direction of a nearby restaurant. The two of you have already changed out of your diving suits, so he figures it won't take too long to get served. "Since this is all Clarence's fault, I think he should pay!"

The man in question chuckles and easily agrees to William's request. Then, as another reminder of his new relationship status, Clarence looks over at you, and William swears he can see hearts in his eyes.

Squinting, he wonders, Should I have been worried about you instead?

Clearly, something spooky had happened when his fellow student council member went to look at the totems. That means—and the pink-haired student shudders at the thought—there's clearly some truth to the legends. And if magic is real, then—

Maybe the dark mage of the Student Council is not Clarence, but you.

"Are you coming?" you call out, cutting through his thoughts. You and your boyfriend are both standing, with an expectant look in your gazes. "I thought you were starving."

He squints at you for a moment. At your kind smile and much gentler countenance, compared to the guy you've decided to date. So what if you tease him sometimes? It just means you feel close to him.

Yup, that sounds right. Having made his decision, he nods to himself and says:

"There's no way!"

When he finally joins his waiting friends and they ask him what he was mumbling about, he only assures them they have nothing to worry about.

#fics by aya #lovebrush chronicles #lovebrush chronicles x reader #for all time #for all time x reader #clarence clayden #clarence clayden x reader #lovebrush clarence x reader #lovebrush clarence #lbc clarence #lbc clarence x reader #rambles from here on ->#um. i can explain (no i can't)#I DON'T KNOW WHY I JUST WANTED MC TO BE SAD OKAY #she's already panicking when clarence wakes up then calms down because there's time to get out of their clothes #here? she's a goner. SHE'S GONE. he stays asleep/fainted for longer and she's kissing him thinking please please wake up #which is. why she's crying. that's my excuse and i'm sticking to it #also william is there because i needed someone to um. point out that they're embarassed.#was originally not going to make the “i kissed you” scene but. um #GAJSJSHSHS I JUST WANTED THEM TO BE EMBARASSED #btw i can't recall if. they have kissed before. but you can't tell me they haven't #i think all the boys are supposed to get their first kiss w the picturas but. it just does not make sense for clarence #considering the scene and the pictura #therefore he has definitely kissed mc before

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shimmershy · 6 months

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Im impressed by how much you're art evolved to today, do you still think about your art in the past and how you evolved to today to obtain this level of quality and story telling ?

Thank you very much! :D It always means a lot when other people tell me my art has improved over time. I feel like I can definitely see it in little ways. It's just super nice and cool when other people see improvement too! Like wow it's not just me, I really have come a long way with my art.

But yeah, I do think a lot about the art I did in the past and how I got to where I am today. It's really fascinating to me how the skills that kind of come naturally now were all things I had to learn over time. Like to some extent, I can just "feel out" where facial features go now without thinking too much about it, whereas in the past, I know I had a lot more trouble with that. I feel like I tended to draw eyes too big and I had a really weird way of drawing noses. I don't know. I also had pretty bad same-face syndrome I think. But yeah.

When I'm sketching in my sketchbook, I like to flip through the whole thing and look at all the sketches I've done in the past couple years/months and look at the way they've evolved over time in a "big picture" way. It's cool. I think it's especially because although it's a little more than just a hobby now, a good deal of the improvement came solely from my passion and excitement to just bring ideas to life. I was never really "practicing just to practice", and although I did do little studies based on photos from time to time, most of it was just me noticing things and picking things up from the real world but also from art styles I really enjoyed. And wanting to create something that meant something, and just trying until I was happy with it. Like I definitely never had "natural talent" - that doesn't exist - but I've always had a passion to create, and I feel like the act of drawing as a way of expressing my ideas has always come kind of naturally to me, probably because I did it so much when I was younger. It's always been my "thing". It's just cool to see that passion I've always had turn into art that I'm really proud of today!

#ask #godofchaoss #sorry for getting kinda ramble-y I tend to do that. especially when talking about art and process stuff.#I love drawing sooooo much. did you guys know that? were you aware?#I don't know if all this reads as conceited at all. you don't have to read all that skdhfskd I just. I actually do think about it a lot.#I'm not trying to say I'm the best artist ever or even that I'm a good artist! I'm just like. happy with where I'm at.#because at the end of the day I'm not even doing it to be good or for other people to think my art's good.#I want to create stuff that feels important to me. I have ideas I want to make Real and drawing is my way of doing that.#and so it's like. I make things that are good To Me. and To Me my art is awesome!! it makes me so happy!!#and then sharing my art is just a bonus because it means a lot to me that the stuff I draw for myself can #mean something to other people too. :)#I don't know if that makes sense but. yeah. sjdfhksdf I could go on and on I'm sorry I have way too much to say sometimes.

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banefultyrant · 4 months

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I was going to wait on this and another post until I had his carrd completely finished, but here we go.

Enver Gortash & Morality // @banefultyrant

So this has been prematurely kicked off by this post stating, "Tragic backstory explains behavior but does not excuse it."

This is so true, and especially in regards to this disaster dumpster fire of a human being. Because he isn't just a dumpster fire. He's this level of dumpster fire:

Now, to my point.

Enver Gortash—as he will absolutely refuse to acknowledge his original name because of everything tied up in it—has been through a lot. Though I can't remember if it was ever openly stated, I would absolutely agree with general fandom consensus that his mother abused him. I saw a post floating around the other day about the difference between how his parents are treated in game, and I couldn't agree more. [ If I can track the post down again, I'll link it here as well. ]

He was, seemingly at a young age, then sold to a warlock because his parents couldn't settle their debts the right way. Whether his mother is telling the truth or not, she claims she either sold him or they forfeit all of their lives over the shop debt. [ Also, who in the hell were they in debt to that their lives were at risk because of their debt??? Was it actually debt from the shop, or from drinking or gambling? Or did they take a loan from Dangerous People to keep their shop running??? ]

From there, he then ended up at the House of Hope, where he was canonically tormented and tortured by Nubaldin simply because he was 'mischievous' and because Nubaldin found it entertaining.

"I used to work in the prison, ensuring no desirable people left the House of Hope. Now, I guard the portals to ensure that no undesirable people enter." [ Why don't you work at the prison anymore? ] "I made a mistake. Raphael doesn't tolerate mistakes. We had one houseguest by the name of Gortash, a mischievous little blot of a boy, and he slipped through my fingers." [ Gortash was here? Lord Enver Gortash? ] "Lord? Is that what he calls himself these days? The sniveling little shit. He was the son of a cobbler or somesuch meagre tradesman, sold to Raphael by his loving parents to pay off their petty debt. Lord indeed. I used to bruise my knuckles on his whimpering little face. I'd like to have snapped his neck."

So he escapes that literal hell because he just can't take it anymore. He winds up on his own, with nothing but his cleverness and his drive to never be at anyone's mercy ever again.

[ A lot more below the cut. ]

Now, his mother claims he was evil from the start, but I've not once seen any dialogue options that support that. She says he was always making a racket. She says he was too clever. But she never offers anything even remotely adjacent to explain her claim that he was evil out the gate.

[ Perhaps because she was and she simply didn't care for a clever little boy asking questions, pointing out when she was being unreasonable, or saying that he didn't understand why he was being punished when he did something that he's done a thousand times before and she never said anything then, et cetera. Abusers can never have the problem. The other person has to be the problem. The villain. The complication. The scapegoat. There's something wrong with the other person and that's why they are perfectly justified in doing what they do. ]

Regardless, you have a young boy sold to a warlock and placed in the House of Hope, and was apparently a 'desirable person' based on the fact that Nubaldin was in charge of making sure none of those left and when Gortash escaped, Raphael considered it a failure.

[ Considering how foresighted Raphael is in terms of potential, it makes perfect sense to me that he might even have witnessed how clever the boy was once, perhaps he had even stopped by to make clear to his parents that their debt was owed and he would see it paid, one way or the other. Perhaps he saw how Enver was treated and found it contemptuous that such people should be able to waste so clever a mind. Or, perhaps the warlock had done so on his behalf and relayed such information to Raphael who then had them to pass along that he would accept the boy as payment.

Now, though I won't project my thoughts onto anyone else's Raphael, as for my own over at @thishouseofhope , while people claim that 'Raphael loves only himself' coughcoughHaarlepcoughcough, that isn't true. Or, at least, not entirely.

I think Raphael has a hard time connecting with others enough to care anything about them in actuality, yes. But I think where that starts to falter is in cases where he sees a bit of himself or his own situation reflected back at him. Would he admit that? No. But he sees it all the same, recognizes the similarities even if only subconsciously. And though I haven't gone into much detail with Raphael's early years over there yet, suffice it to say a brilliant, clever mind stifled by and suffering under the shortsightedness, derision, and abuse of a parental figure? It would definitely strike a nerve, whether he intended or not, whether he acknowledged it or not. HINT: He most certainly would not. ]

Within my own canon, this meant Raphael saw Enver and saw something of himself reflected in the boy and his situation, and, as such, there was a certain amount of fondness for him, particularly with the potential he could see for the boy's future with so sharp a mind. In a verse with my friend on discord who writes Enver, that included Raphael taking him on as a protege. Had it not been for Nubaldin's pointless cruelty, I have little doubt that Enver might have come to enjoy his time at the House of Hope, as Raphael would always provided new things for him to learn both of practical and educational import, and Enver, who was clever to start, would have jumped at the chance to learn anything and everything he could, particularly if Raphael caught onto his interest in mechanics. No doubt Nubaldin said that the boy simply escaped, otherwise, had Raphael realized the cause, I don't know that Nubaldin would have survived to tell the tale. ]

But, as always, because I can't help myself, I digress.

We have a young boy with promise and potential who ran because he was being abused again and was terrified of remaining where he was, who refused to be at the mercy of anyone else ever again and set his mind on making certain that it never would happen again.

At some point, he throws in his lot with Bane. He starts to accumulate wealth and power and influence through whatever means. His mind, his body, his blood and sweat [ but never tears, because he won't cry anymore, won't show that weakness ]. He will do whatever it takes to ensure that no one can ever harm him again, that no one has the power to do so. And how does one do that?

You make certain that you are the most powerful. Powerful enough that no one can touch you.

Free will, is the problem. That becomes evident to him shortly into his worship of Bane. No matter how many laws and rules and punishments exist, there will always be people who still choose to suffer them—because they could, because it was worth it, because they didn't care, because they didn't think they would be caught, et cetera. So long as free will might exist, then you would continue to have thieves and drunks and debtors and murderers and abusers.

So eventually, this plot of the Absolute is developed and! my! doesn't it solve it all! Not only does it set him in a place of power where nobody could touch him, it also solves all of those other pesky problems because there will be no more free will, only the will of the Absolute relayed to all of its subservients.

"A new age is upon us. Gods have mercy upon those who would stand in our way… I want to lead this city to glory — not scorch its earth."

When the player character approaches, Tav or Dark Urge, he talks about wanting to lead the city into an age of prosperity and safety, etc. And he isn't lying. He means every word.

Because, in his mind, this is the only way to reach that outcome. Does he want power? Yes, because, much as you hear the themes with Astarion's companion quest line: Power means safety. Power means no one can hurt you. Power means that you dictate the lives of others, rather than having your life dictated to you. To paraphrase, when the player character tells Astarion that those with power have a duty to protect those without, Astarion roughly responds, "People with power had 200 years to save me from Cazador, and no one ever did. No, it was the Mindflayers who freed me."

In all honesty, it's much the same for Gortash, except he was at an even greater disadvantage than Astarion in one respect—unless more information comes out about Astarion's past later—and that is this:

Enver Gortash has never known anything else. There is nothing before his abuse, before his servitude and continued abuse, before he set out into the world at a young age and suffered its cruelty on his own.

It is all that he has ever known.

But!

He sells Karlach to Zariel! Yes, just as he was sold, and yet, even still, this is done not out of malice or cruelty, but with the belief that he thought he was doing what was best for her. If she remained on the streets, she would either be jailed or dead in a few years, and she deserved better than that. Being sold to a devil was what set him on his 'right' path, made him who he is, so maybe that's what Karlach needed also? And, knowing her as he did, he truly had no doubt that she could be running the place in no time. She would have power enough to protect herself, just as he intended to claim for himself at the Gate, and it would mean they could be allies. He set a piece in the right place and if she would just do as she ought to have done, she could be doing so much better for herself — just as he has.

He was going to kill the refugee children! In his mind, most of them miserable little orphans with no prospects beyond pain and suffering. It would be a mercy to them, truly, and—as my friend, Shadow, mentioned in one of our discussions about Gortash's thoughts on this—their deaths would at least mean something in the grand scheme, rather than their bodies simply being stepped over and promptly forgotten. Their deaths would sow discord between the refugees and the citizens of the Gate, further unite those within against those without and solidify his position as a protector. With any luck, the refugees would attack in retaliation and affirm the citizens fears that they were followers of the Absolute threat after all. And regardless of how it went, it would create further chaos that he would be able to bring to Order.

This is NOT to say that his behavior should be excused.

However, much in the same way and for the same reason that I would defend Minthara and Nere both, I can fully understand his thought process, why he does what he does, though I certainly don't agree with it. Just as with them, I would question the level of accountability one can be held to when one knows no different. I would very much, in some ways, say that Gortash is nearer to having had a Lolth-sworn drow upbringing than a typical human one. His entire understanding of the world is through abuse, violence, betrayal, and transactional interactions. His solution—the Absolute religious hoax—is one that makes perfect sense within those bounds. It's logical, nice and neat. A brilliant plan, cutting the problems that plague the city—and, indeed, the world—off right at the source.

There won't be anymore murders in the streets. There won't be anymore pickpockets or petty crime. There won't be anymore gambling dens. There won't be anymore children abused or sold to settle debts. There won't be anymore crime, period.

The populace can put all of its effort and energy into making the city more unified and prosperous than it ever has been —

Because that is the only choice they have left to them.

[ Doesn't that sound familiar? "She is, of course, free to choose the only option she has left." ]

In his mind, how brilliant and elegant an answer to those pesky problems that no amount of laws or punishments have ever stopped! A villain? No! He's the savior who will deliver this city to a new age! A great age!

[ And doesn't that sound familiar, too? ]

In the words of Jason Isaacs himself, "It was a thrill to join the Baldur's Gate universe, but I fear that the magnificent Lord Enver Gortash is being mischaracterized as a villain. In a brutal world of betrayals and butchery, he's learned to lie better and backstab first. The joy in voicing him — apart from the obvious pleasure in getting to look so glorious — was that the creative team and I got to play loose enough to find ways that he could enjoy the ride and make the players hate him more!"

Enver Gortash has done terrible and unforgivable things, much as with most of the cast in the game, companions or otherwise…. but the whys. The whys are important, and the whys are what not only further show the depth of the character… but also provide interesting possibilities for futures wherein he escapes his fate in the game.

#|| if it feels good — tastes good — it must be mine || { about // enver gortash }#|| out of control || { ooc }#// I don't know that all of this makes sense or if I'm rambling but there's a broad overview #// May hone it a bit after dinner.#// We shall see.#long post

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