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rogue-durin-16 · 3 years

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THINGS NEVER GO AS PLANNED (Part V/VII)

"the perfect excuse"

Summary: After Fred's death, George and Y/n lean on each other to carry on. This wasn't the most brilliant idea, though; George was pretty much in love with the girl, and Y/n— well, she had been dating Fred prior to the Battle of Hogwarts.

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Genre: angst mostly

Tags:

Suggested by: @crispykittywitch

Things never go as planned: @sarcasticallywitty15 @beautyschoo1dropout @s1ut4georgeweasley @sunshineandshadowss @missmulti @weasleywh0r3s @andreaareynoso @georgeweasley19 @dianarte

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa

Warnings: language, drinking, makeout getting spicy

A/N: idk what happened here, this was not planned I'm just horny ig??? Anyway have this part that was definitely not meant to unfold like this but hey, I'm not mad, so enjoy <3

Prologue: the aftermath

Part I: sleepless nights

Part II: candy floss

Part III: shock therapy

Part IV: wrong name

Part VI: the downfall

Part VII: apart

Epilogue: I still love you

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

I checked myself in the mirror one last time before heading to the kitchen. There was no actual need of dressing up nicely, since we both would be spending New Year's Eve at the flat, but since Ginny, Ron, Harry and Hermione were coming, we decided to clean up for our guests.

"Hmm, smells good." I leaned on the doorframe, observing George finishing cooking.

"These past five months' messes paid off." He joked, grabbing a kitchen rag to clean his hands. "Can you keep an eye on it while I go get read..." He trailed off automatically when his gaze landed on me. "Woah— okay." He cleared his throat, eyes slightly widened at my outfit, and I couldn't help but enjoy a bit too much his attention. "You look really good— is that the new blouse?"

"Yup." I replied, a coy smile dancing on my lips as I stepped to him and picked the kitchen rag myself. "C'mon, go clean up nice for our guests."

It only took him a couple of minutes, since he might have had his suit ready.

"Mind lending a hand with the tie, love?" He requested, stepping into the kitchen with his attention on the shirt's cuffs which he was buttoning up.

Damn, he looked so good; it wasn't even fair.

"Y/n?" He chuckled, finally looking up.

"Uh— yeah! Sure." I threw the rag over the counter and led my hands to the tie, taking my time to make the knot; maybe I wanted an excuse to have my hands on him.

We stayed in silence until I was finished; it wasn't an awkward silence, but it wasn't comfortable either— it was, in fact, stifling.

"There you go." I more like whispered instead of talking, sliding my hands down his chest briefly. His eyebrows were knitted, trying to decipher my demeanor; his hands caught one of mines before they fell limply on my sides, and for a second, I thought he was about to do something really stupid —something I had wanted to do for the last three months—, but then the bell rang and we stepped away from each other, going to receive Ron and Hermione as if that moment hadn't happened at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

GINNY'S P. O. V.

I took a sip of my brandy as we laughed at Ron's joke, my eyes drifting to Hermione and then to Y/n's lap, where Teddy rested, giggling and blabbering nonsense at George's hand movements and funny faces.

George had confided me quite ashamed that he fancied Y/n about two years ago, but I knew the looks he gave her were of something more than a little crush, if you may.

Had I not known Y/n, I would be worried she was projecting Fred onto the younger twin, but the girl knew better than that, so when we got to experience how their domestic life unfolded during New Year's Eve, I felt nothing but happiness at the way Y/n laughed at my brother's jokes, or how she stared at him in pure adoration as he played with Tonks's and Lupin's baby.

"You're getting him waaay too exited, mate." Harry chuckled, extending his arms for Y/n to hand him the toddler. "He needs to go to sleep."

Teddy, who we had put to sleep in Y/n's room shortly after dinner, had woken up right before the New Year came to us, and, since he refused to go back to sleep, Y/n took on the task of entertaining him. George joined as soon as he witnessed Teddy's hair going rainbow-like at Y/n's actions.

"Actually, I think we all need to go to sleep." I said, leaving the glass on the table.

"Boo, you're supposed to be the youngest!" Y/n whined, earning a laughter from the rest.

"Ginny's right, though." Ron stood up and all of us followed his lead. "It's really late and I don't want mum to see us drunk when she wakes up."

"Not a good impression to make on your future mother-in-law, oi, Granger?" George's tease made Hermione's cheeks flush, murmuring an 'idiot' before giving him a hug. "Take care, all of you." He added after he and Y/n had hugged everyone goodbye.

The five of us exited the flat and apparated in the Burrow's yard in silence until Harry asked, "are they together now?"

"We don't know." I confessed with a grimace.

"Well, together or not, they're definitely fucking."

"Ronald!" Hermione exclaimed, slapping her boyfriend's arm.

"I just said what everyone else's thinking." He defended himself, and none of us could deny it.

READER'S P. O. V.

We began to pick up the dirty plates, glasses and cutlery in order to take them to the sink and leave them there to wash them tomorrow.

"Oi, look what I found." George wiggled a firewhiskey bottle at me from the living room.

Without thinking twice, I grabbed the half empty ice cream tub I had just left over the counter, a couple of clean glasses, and I made my way to George.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"—and that was only in our... Third- no- fourth! year?" He finished the story, joining me in the giggling; I didn't doubt the story was funny, but I was sure it seemed ten times funnier because of the alcohol. "Wait- where were you back then?" He knitted his brows in confusion.

"A year below you." I laughed.

He snorted. "Below me," he took a look at his empty glass before reaching for the bottle with a laugh "hell, I wish."

I couldn't help but laugh too. "Sure you do." I wouldn't have laughed if I were sober, but then again I highly doubted he would have said that if he were sober. "Y'know- you can have me below you anytime you want, Georgie." I replied between lazy giggles, leaning on him so he would pour more firewhiskey into my glass too.

A loud snort left George, triggering one of my own. "Sure, darling." He loosened his tie and tossed it to the floor. "Why's it so hot in here?"

"Mmm... Must be 'cause of you." I threw my head back to stare at the ceiling. "Or... maybe's just the alcohol." I groaned at the feeling of my head spinning, and sat upright again to chunk the now full glass in one go. "I'm hot too."

"Oh darling... You can't even imagine how much— I mean... Every day— but tonight you look partic... particular...ly? Dashing." George was leaning back against the armchair's feet, his eyes closed, his cheeks flushed and an amused smile dancing on his lips. "Why must you be so bloody perfect?" I found myself staring a bit too much at the ginger. "There's still a conscious part of my brain that knows I shouldn't be saying this shit." An idle chuckle left his chest and one of his eyes peeked open. "I'm gonna blame the alcohol, aight?"

Right, the alcohol —The perfect excuse.

I laid my glass on the floor and got up, stumbling towards him. "Oi, careful— you don't wanna trip and fall." He laughed, steadying me with his hands as I plopped down on my knees besides him. "We won't make it to St. Mungo—" With one hand on his shoulder and one on his cheek, I went for it, cutting him mid-sentece in the process.

It was one hell of a sloppy kiss, and I was so concentrated on doing it right that I didn't even hear the moan I sent into his mouth.

What the hell are you doing?, My mind screamed.

I attempted to pull away, but I felt George's hands on my sides, clutching my clothes in his fists to tug me flush against him. I took the cue and did my best to climb onto his lap and straddle his legs without losing balance.

What we were doing felt terribly wrong, and, the morning after, we would regret this little slip so much, but in that exact moment I could only think that his lips tasted like fire whiskey, strawberry and chocolate, and that the quiet moans slipping through them between the kisses were loud enough to quiet down everything in my head.

I stopped to take a breath, resting my forehead against his; our eyes locked, pupils blown out.

Heavy pants left our lungs, as if we had just run a marathon. It felt like the kiss had made a bomb go off, one that we had unconsciously been building up those past months.

It took an instant of looking at each other to know we thought the same; we wouldn't get this opportunity ever again, so at that point, we might as well carry on and pray for it not to be too bad in the morning.

This time it was George who smashed his lips against mines, teeth clashing and tongues going in each other's mouths. The situation was escalating quick; a tad too quick, I daresay.

He cursed and mumbled something about too many clothes, proceeding to pull his shirt over his head with my help, given that he could only do so much with that amount of alcohol in his sistem.

I could do even less, though. It was proven when I first attempted to get rid of my blouse.

I struggled to unbutton it, an awkward, dizzy silence falling among us before his hands travelled to mines "Wait... Lemme..." He frowned, finding that simple task as frustratingly difficult as I did. "Bloody..." A browned off grunt left his swollen lips.

"Tear it." I mumbled, letting my hands roam over his chest.

"You sure?"

I hummed, somehow impatient. "We'll fix it tomorrow." I captured his lips once more.

We'd fix it tomorrow.

I felt his hands fisting my shirt by the cleavage before giving it a firm tug, making my gasp; I wasn't expecting all the buttons to come off in one go, given his drunken state.

I didn't even have time to discard the piece of clothing before his lips attacked my neck, shutting my brain off instantly due to the sensation.

"You want this?" He whispered in my ear, his hands going up from my thighs to my back until they reached the clasp of my bra.

Not trusting my voice, I nodded vigorously, making the world shake around me so hard that I had to shut my eyes.

I felt a feather kiss on my shoulder and his fingers unfastening the bra; he was doing his best to be smooth, which wasn't a lot, but I could tell he was trying hard.

"You're so sweet." I blurted out as his fingertips ghosted over my skin while he removed the top from my body.

He tried to reply something, but articulating kept getting harder and harder as we went deeper into it, so he gave up on words and so did I; at least until his fingers slid between my legs and started to tease me through the fabric of my remaining clothes.

"Bed." I whimpered, unconsciously rocking my hips against George's hand whilst my own travelled to his crotch, feeling his erection and consequently earning a moan from him.

"D'you think we'll make it?" He inquired, already retreating his hand briefly so we could stand up.

Soon enough we were stumbling to my room, hands all over each other, bumping against the furniture and walls due to not being able to stand upright.

When we fell on the bed and tossed the rest of our clothes to the floor, it began to dawn on me how bad this was going to be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

GEORGE'S P. O. V.

My head was pounding violently in my skull; that's most likely the reason why I woke up. It took a moment for the blurry memories of the previous night to flash into my mind.

"You feel... so good..."

"Fuck- George— faster, please..."

"Y/n— I'm-"

"No." I shoot up, not acknowledging that Y/n was still asleep by my side. "Fuck no. Nononono." I ignored the terrible headache caused by the hungover and, grabbing my clothes, I exited the room. "No fucking way." I kept mumbling to myself, stalking to my dorm to throw on some fresh clothes.

I sat on my bed, my hands running through my locks, bringing back the memories of Y/n's tugs on them in the process.

"What the fuck did I do." I almost choked on the sentence.

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lumilasi · 2 years

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Hey, aren't u the person who made those cute Spinaraki one shots? (Just checked: yup!) When are you gonna open the requests for those again? No pressure or anything, just curious!

Ha ha yeah, that was me. I closed them for the end of the year due to work leaving me less time for extra stuff, meaning I wouldn't have written them anyway as I would prioritize my big fics for my free time naturally.

TBH idk when I'll open them again even after new years?

Not gonna lie, I struggled so much with the last one-shot I made (to the point of 'why-am-I-even-writing-this' kind of struggle; it just ended up being so difficult to write for whatever reason? It came out alright but the process was weirdly painful lmao) that it kinda put me off from writing more for that series for a while, as in even if I hadn't decided to stop for the time being due to work, I probably would've ended up putting them on hiatus anyway.

Another issue that rose when I was making them, was kind of the difficulty for people to suggest me ideas ^^; So many tropes that are very popular in fics I don't personally enjoy writing. Like...sooo many of them would probs get a "no" from me because of how uninteresting or even uncomfortable I find them OTL (Once again I feel kinda bad for how incredibly picky I am, but I can't help it)

Even from the ones I did write, I think two were something that I wasn't keen on basing a story around initially? They weren't the worst though, so I managed to make something.

On the flipside, I struggle to come up with anything myself for Spinaraki, because to me it's the ultimate "cute domestic fluff/slice-of-life" kind of ship, which....isn't a very inspiring genre/trope to me admittedly. I just personally can't seem to imagine this ship with all the twists and turns and drama I can do with Shigadabi for example. (or with the parent & child thing with AFO and Tomura, or just with Tomura's character alone to be fair.) All the things I can do with them, that I find enjoyable, I honestly don't feel like I need the romantic angle for it?

(Nothing wrong with these types of stories of course btw! More power to those who enjoy them, but they're just not my cup of tea? Or coffee in this case I guess, as I don't drink tea lmao)

Soo...TLDR: I dunno, there's a lot of things about doing them as requests that makes it kind of difficult, but it is also difficult for me to come up with any ideas myself. I need to think about it for a while longer probably, what I'll do with that one shot series moving forward.

#answered anon #spinaraki #like I'd want to write more for you guys #but this ship is just proving to be tricky for me?#IDK like said I probably have to think about it after new years #how I'll approach this in the future #if I write more at all #IDK right now #I just honestly prefer their relationship as platonic #so I guess that might also be why writing romance with them proves difficult to me lmao

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anarmorofwords · 3 years

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I kinda wanna write a better version of tlh where Tatiana is still insane but there's no Belial bc that makes zero sense to me

In this version there would be:

Kamanna done correctly with actual genderqueer rep and not toxic relationships

Barbra and Oliver bc fight me she didn't die

Genie and Filomena bc I love them and all the lightwoods are queer

The gracelet doesn't even happen bc I refuse to write that

Grace is pretty much still the same but she breaks off their(hers and james') relationship bc she notices that he loves Cordelia

No bad James. He's not a shitty person to Alastair, and he doesn't treat Cordelia like a sex object

Anna puts a stop to Kellington and Matthew's relationship before it gets serious. She also tries to get him to stop drinking all the time

Alastair apologizes around seeing them again for the first time. The merry thieves are a little reluctant because of some of the things he did but they don't actively try to keep him away from events that they're at

Matthew notices how Alastair looks at Thomas and locks them in the sanctuary with Genie and Cordelia's help

Grace gets badly injured due to a mistake in necromancy and Christopher helps her treat it without letting people know

Lucie meets Jesse, and falls in love ofc, so in order to bring him back successfully she asks Malcolm to train her in using her magic

Matthew opens up to his mom about the incident. She doesn't blame him at all and instead apologizes for often putting her work before him

Matthew finds out about Charles and Alastair because he found Alastairxs break up letter to Charles

Matthew, the mother hen he is, decided to attempt to murder his older brother, only being stopped by James who had been there at the right time

Kamala ends things with Charles and tells Anna that she still loves them and hopes that she will give her another chance

Anna told her that they needed time to think, and that she is worried how Kamala's reputation will be affected if anyone besides their friends and Anna's family finds out

Kamala respects her decision and doesn't contact her until Anna's ready to talk about things

The merry thieves don't ignore Christopher and they actively listen and help him

The merry thieves also aren't terrible to Grace bc they realize she's been isolated alone with Tatiana and 1) she might not understand what's saying/doing is wrong or 2) that sometimes she's trying to push them away so her abilities don't accidentally make them do something

Good tid parents

James and Alastair being respectful to each other despite personal differences

Matthew, Alastair, Kamala, Christopher, and Grace being besties, or as I call them, the neglected squad

No fetishizing mlm/wlw

Domestic cuddles and taking care of the other one when they're sick

Jesse/Lucie/Matthew pairing bc I love them and I refuse to pick between lucie/matthew and lucie/jesse

Christopher teaching Grace the elements(at the time) on the periodic table

Tatiana dies at the end yay

It's very unpolished and I'm open to b hearing any feedback and/or suggestions that anyone may have

The idea came to me and I decided it would be best if I told someone before I forgot

hi, I'm sorry it took so long,but I wanted to properly answer this and I keep having either internet connection issues or little time

DON'T BE SHY, WRITE THIS 👀

In all seriousness tho... THIS IS ABSOLUTE PERFECTION?!? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START I AM UTTERLY IN LOVE WITH THIS IDEA, I NEED IT

Look, I've been on the verge of rewriting ChoI, and I keep saying I want someone to write a TLH that will live up to its potential, but I've never actually came up with a proper idea for it, and you?!! YOUR BRAIN DARLING THIS IS GENIUS

ok hold up I'll just react to each and every single one so

yes please?!? I mean it started off so sweet in EEV?! Also actually genderqueer Anna and not dancing around the subject like CC is doing now?! That's what they deserve, and that's what we all deserve too

yesss please. also just,,,, Barbara, the feminine, not-wanting-to-fight-which-doesnt-make-her-less-badass queen that she is, getting the page space and appreciation she deserves

that's actually brilliant?!? it would be so great, just imagine the new girl arrives for her travel year and Genie is completely awestruck. I'm so invested in Joshwood it's difficult to imagine not having them, but this is actually the only valid alternative?!

ok that's fine. I think it could still happen and be done well, but tbh for now... the gracelet doesn't seem to have done anything relevant to the plot itself? I mean yeah it messed up James's life and Jordelia, but what did it give Belial? Tatiana? nothing. It makes no sense atm.

could be! maybe she's still encouraged by Tatiana to befriend/seduce him, but without the gracelet it doesn't work out? or maybe James somehow manages to realize that she's in danger and he actually like,,,, kidnaps her? idk idk

yes. YES. just,,,,z James is a sweet compassionate literature nerd who accidentally makes a good leader and he actually cares about people, and not just judges them from his high horse; he does still have hero syndrome, but he's kind and respectful and overall a good character

ANNA INTERVENES ABOUT KELLINGTON PLZ. PEOPLE ACTUALLY NOTICE MATTHEW'S STRUGGLES. JAMES DOES, TOO, BECAUSE THERE'S NO GRACELET.

ok yes, so what about: basically TMT don't harass Alastair and accept his apology, and realize they were also being stupid and mean at times at the Academy (especially Math). Matthew doesn't want to accept Alastair's apology, because of The Sin, but his behaviour alerts the rest of TMT and they inquire what's wrong and he tells them about the sin and that's how he later tells his parents (because his friends encourage him) and as you say, she just hugs him and reassures him it's not his fault; so after that Matthew slowly begins to heal and accepts it wasn't Alastair's fault, and also since they've kind of adopted/started including Alastair in things, he can't help but notice he's actually changed and he even starts to grow fond of him

then like you said, Matthew notices Thomas likes Alastair PLEASE HE SO WOULD. I'm not sure about the Sanctuary, if it actually happens (I'll get to why later on), but him and Lucie get really invested in the matchmaking schemes, they include Genie/Kamala because these two are friends with Alastair (both? Or at this point only Kamala?) but they also share some Moments during their scheming/talking about love 👀 (yes I'm a Fairdale shipper, I think it's time to expose myself lol)

Which leads me to (sorry I'm going off order rn) YES YES YES LUCIE AND MATH PLEASE. A FELLOW SHIPPER, HELLO, NICE TO MEET YOU. But since we're actually fixing him then we can give Jesse a personality and I'm totally down for poly Math/Lucie/Jesse

Lucie seeking Malcolm's help in secret, morally gray heroine style?!? no, it's probably not legal. but also has there ever been a Shadowhunter like her? If the Law doesn't expect such situations, it can't really forbid them...

Plz Matthew ready to strangle the carrot when he learns about their relationship, YES. sure, maybe he's still not the biggest fan of Alastair, but he's seen how much the boy's been through and starts to develop an attachment to him, and besides, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE GROOMED AND TREATED LIKE THAT. He's SO MAD at Charles, and he confronts him about it - remembering Kellington as he does, and it makes him sick to think his brother would do the same thing to someone. Maybe he gets very emotional over this and later finally tells his friends about Kellington? Maybe they didn't know before, only Anna did? So when they all realize what was happening then they comfort him etc? Or maybe it's just Alastair that learns now, and the others knew before, and they share a bonding moment over that?

Injured Grace seeking Kit's help is a genius idea I didn't know I needed

Kamanna giving each other time and space and deciding they need to question their relationship and figure out if it actually makes sense would be great. Anna realising she's very privileged and Kamala doesn't have those same opportunities, and also in general realising coming out should never be pressured or forced. Just,,,, Anna being self-aware and respectful towards Kamala. Well-written Anna. Plz. Also Kamanna is actually developed and not just "in love" because,,,,, they're attracted to each other? Maybe even remaining friends while Anna makes up their mind?

yeah just TMT being more compassionate and less judgy because they're not written by Judith so her bias isn't projected onto them

It's not a want, it's a need. They adopt Alastair and Grace eventually. Like, maybe not literally - although, Grace? - but you know what I mean.

I think they all should just have various friendship dynamics and switch between them, because people need more than one friend group

no fetishizing, no watching your brother make out with his lover, yessss

yes domestic cuddles, affection, taking care of wounds, all those things. plz.

Gracetopher bonding over science yes

obviously. or maybe she's imprisoned?!

ok, now for some more notes/my ideas etc., if you don't mind:

I actually think Belial could still be featured? After all, I don't think Tatiana could do much on her own, and since she seeks help from demons, it makes sense to include a Greater Demon as well. But Belial would have to be a stronger villain, written better; I'll think more about this

if that was the case, the serial killer plot could still happen, but be done better. and it would allow for a scenario I talked about with @littlx-songbxrd to happen, where it's Alastair who's falsely accused of murder. It creates a great opportunity to explore some things, because we know Alastair is much more likely to be seriously suspected, considering all the prejudices and bad rep his family has and all that

...what do you say to well-written Jordelia? 👀 Cordelia hasn't been obsessively in love with James since childhood, she only had a crush then. And now that they meet again, she's fond of him but not in love, not straight away. They're both grown up, and different people, but as they spend more and more time together, they fall in love. What if Cordelia gets to flirt with some other boys first? What then. What if she ends up choosing James, instead of going for the only boy she's ever had feelings for and idealized since childhood. What if we even make it friends-to-lovers and have James be a little jealous at some point?! but not in a possessive awful way, just "oh damn oh no"

Now I won't know peace until this exists BUT THANK YOU

#ask answered #thank you this is brilliant #alt tlh #save for later #the last hours #tlh #anti cc #yes I'll be adding/thinking more about this I AM OBSESSED

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fuckspn · 3 years

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fuckspn’s mini deancas fic rec

i said a few days ago that i would write a mini fic rec list, and here it is! i tried to limit it to fics i hadn’t seen on other rec lists before, but there are a few that i couldn’t resist adding even though everyone and their mother recommends them. there’s a whole section for “dean pulls cas out of the empty” fix-it fics because i know what the fuck i’m about. also literally all of these are deancas because i don’t read any other type of supernatural fic, and they all have happy endings because i’m not reading supernatural fanfiction to make myself sad.

a quick disclaimer before we start: i generally don’t like explicit sex scenes in fic unless i feel like they’re really narratively earned, realistic, in-character, and necessary to the emotional arc of the story. so while there are explicit fics in here, all but the last two on the list are sufficiently character- and plot-driven that you can skip the sex scenes entirely if you want.

Finale Fix-Its:

(they’ll never break) the shape we take by ~ME~ (Teen, 9k) Yes, this is my own fic, but listen, I wouldn’t have written it if it didn’t hit what I wanted to see in a fix-it! I’m not gonna make any promises as to whether or not you’ll like it, but I do, and that’s what matters here. Read it if you want to see basically every wrong prediction about the finale rolled up into one fic, if you wish they’d kept the Empty as a morally neutral outsider instead of a villain, or if you just like somewhat uncanny, slippery dream logic and gratuitous callbacks. Also even though idk if I’ll ever finish or publish it, I’m working on a fluffy domestic follow-up featuring, among other things, fixes for both Jack and Billie’s endings. I’m just saying that so if you read this fic you know that even though it’s not mentioned, Jack does come back and get to be a normal toddler with his two dads.

my heart a compass by lagaudiere (Teen, 10k) Again, I REALLY hope you like uncanny, slippery dream logic because that’s in this fic too! Cas POV is such a rare and difficult thing and I think lagaudiere nails it. Literally my only complaint about this fic is that at one point Cas imagines Jack having missing baby teeth at age 4 and my immediate reaction was to worry about why Jack would be missing teeth that young. This is because my brain is broken. Your brain is presumably not broken in the same way mine is, so you should enjoy this fic fine.

The World At Large by cenotaphy (General, 4.9k) This fic is so sexy because cenotaphy was like “hey what if there were actual stakes for Dean in the Empty besides the threat of losing the love of his life? Like what if he had a time limit? What if he got fucking stabbed?” and then somehow turned it into the softest little thing about how much all the characters love each other. Truly incredible artistic decisions made here. Despite being relatively short and deancas-centric, Sam and Jack get a lot of screentime here too and they’re absolutely delightful. Tbh you should probably read all of cenotaphy’s season 15 fix-its but if you’re only gonna read one, make it this. (Or Bring Home, but I’ve seen that one on so many rec lists that I think statistically everyone on Earth has read it.)

Other:

You And Your Husband by mikaylamazing (General, 17.9k) 5+1, Dean and Cas getting mistaken for a couple, 80% fluff then 10% angst that genuinely hit me like a gut punch then 10% fluff again. Dean and Cas are at PEAK old married couple in this fic. Yeah they bitch at each other constantly, but they also will tool around the country in their car like a couple of retirees and Dean will indulge Cas’ random flights of fancy even when they’re for something he hates, like the original Starbucks at Pike Place Market. (I’m with Dean on this one.)

Command Me To Be Well by prosopopeya (Explicit, 28k) Not gonna lie, this one hits the “angst with a happy ending” trope hard. The author is NOT fucking around with the warning for internalized homophobia, and I damn near cried at how Dean and Cas clearly loved each other and wanted to be together but just couldn’t because Dean’s psychological hangups were hurting them both. But not only does the happy ending come, the fic luxuriates in it—this is no band-aid slapped over the end, they genuinely fix their shit. Also, this fic has my favorite “Dean coming out to Sam” scene I’ve ever read.

Bring Up the Deep by deathbanjo (Explicit, 22.6k) Okay. Listen. Yes, this is the fic I was talking about the other day, with the tags that make it sound way kinkier than it actually is. And yes, technically this fic does contain dom/sub undertones and sex pollen. But look at me—hey, look at me. This fic owns. It’s a horror case fic, so it’s mainly plot (and three brief sex scenes, but two of those are part of the plot). The monster is genuinely creepy and creative, the supporting characters are enjoyable to read about, the setting is well-drawn, and the ending is something I’m still digesting but in a very enjoyable way. As far as the kinky tags go, the fic basically plays out like Dean and Cas (who are in an established, albeit new, relationship) are slightly randier than normal due to case weirdness: the dom/sub undertones are so light that I barely noticed them, the “sex pollen” is a deliberately unnerving plot device, and both Dean and Cas have nuanced emotional reactions to the whole situation that they are allowed to process and talk through with each other. I’ve never read A Complete Kingdom and never will, but if you’ve ever wanted a Deancas horror casefic set in coastal Maine that won’t leave you a shattered husk of a human being, Bring Up the Deep is for you!

Though The Course May Change by imogenbynight (Explicit, 51.5k) I’ve seen this one on a number of rec lists, but I couldn’t not include it because it’s just so fun. Another case fic involving Dean and Cas staying in a cabin in a rainy, semi-isolated location surrounded by colorful OCs, but this time the only horror is the prospect of fake-dating the guy you’re secretly actually in love with. It’s a delightful read.

More Than Ever by Sass_Master (Explicit, 20.2k) Canon-divergent fic from 2015 about Cas choosing to become human and Dean being a real bitch about it. It’s very fun, but I’m mainly recommending it because it’s part 1 of a series and therefore provides the necessary backstory/buildup for the next fic on this list.

You’re There by Sass_Master (Explicit, 11.5k) This is part 3 of the same series (part 2 is not required reading, it’s just a short explicit fic set in between these two fics), and while most of it is about sex, it’s also a fucking A+, 10/10, award-worthy character study of Dean and his internal relationship to his sexuality. Literally I was reading it going, “That’s it! That’s the Dean Winchester who lives in my head!”

till the juice runs by deathbanjo (Explicit, 8.4k) The epic saga of Dean’s terrible knockoff-Grindr hookups while Cas waits at home for him like if you could see that I’m the one who understands you been here all along so why can’t you see you belong w— Listen, I’ll be honest here, this fic is completely not my usual speed (lots of sex, relatively light—but not nonexistent!—romance, zero Big Emotions), so it doesn’t have much in common with any other fics on this list besides a rotating cast of fun OCs. It is, however, the single funniest fucking deancas fic I’ve ever read in my life. Fun minigame: count how many times one of Dean’s hookups is described as having messy dark hair and/or blue eyes.

#fic rec #idk how 'mini' this is at this point it's 10 fics #but that's only a tiny fraction of the amount of deancas fic i've read in the last 100 days so

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adriftinthemoonlight · 3 years

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It’s pretty funny, you’d think by your late twenty’s you'd know what love is.

I know there's... a sense of dedication and some form of responsibility involved.

I know how lonely it is to be single but.. sometimes I can’t help but think I’d rather be happy alone than miserable together.

I don't want to feel ungrateful or appear so, but I can't help the feeling of being trapped. Of course, I did it to myself, I volunteered to move in and assume all the domestic duties but... well anyway, I brought that onto myself. I see that now. If I wanted any changes in my life I’d have to seek them myself.

{Whenever I get to hang out with people I love, it seems like a chore and too painful to enjoy. Apple picking sucked, didn’t get to spend any actual quality time, nor did I get to enjoy the llamas really. Idk if it’d be great to go on a date by myself either.. I don’t think anyone really enjoys my company. Just ice skating proved to be insanely undoable. (Imagine going to a chateau and snowboarding!) I don’t even think I like hanging out with someone who does nothing but complain the entire time. I’m just happy to be able to experience new things, and dude does nothing but talk shit. It’s..repulsive behaviour really. You’d think the person you’re dating could stand to be a little charming, but now that we live to gather it’s all changed. I *shudder* to think what it’d be like to be MARRIED, stuck together, in cyclical hell. The one person I actually want to go out to hangout absolutely hates it. I can tell. At this point, I don’t actually know why I try at all.}

[There are also some things I can’t get around.. boyfriend gets to spend all day scratching his ass on the computer, barely getting up to eat or shit, and I can’t do anything except be miserable, and dude doesn’t get excited about anything I’m doing unless it’s making money.]

At this point, I can’t go out for work, see friends or family without inadvertently killing his mom either. Idk what to do really, I really don’t want to go back, I have almost no reason to.

What job can I do online? I just want to make him happy, but I don’t think I can. I don’t have the energy anymore.

He’s going to ask if I’m going back. What do I say? No, I don’t see much of any reason to? I can do whatever I want at home and be comfortable to be myself, I get all the good food I miss surrounded by people that actually have no problem if I try to clean, I can move around freely no problem, there’s literally only one con and that is my parents are a little insane from time to time.

Why would I want to go back to that sky prison? Living with the person I let down the most every single day and be reminded of the intense failure a human I am... I like being around people that actually enjoy the little things... that enjoy being alive really.. Idk. I now have a fear of having to go back, and living there feels like a never ending cesspool of regret.

I want to do some sort of romantic surprise, but somehow I feel like it would all be for naught, (as in under-appreciated), or just a total fuck up altogether. Maybe my best friend is right, my crippling anxiety is fucking my mind up, fucking with my ability to make decisions... Sigh.

There are a number of problems that I can’t be bothered to try and fix anymore. I just don’t have any fucks left. I also chose the most difficult relationship.. Part of me can’t bear to give up the relationship... but part of me just doesn't know what to do to move forward and doesn’t have the energy to find the energy to get anything done. Fuck. I think I just fucked myself. *Sigh.

I promise I’m not always this 1st world problems whiny.. I just needed a break from being a maid. I know I want more from my life and I’m tired of letting boyfriend stop me... or making me doubt my every move, getting sucked into his never ending depressive episode. I don’t know if things are going to get better. I feel like they just keep getting worse... I don’t know if I’m in a safe place with him mentally. He just went back on everything, right after a month passed. It’s probably my fault too. Either way I’m just tired.

Some small part of me hopes things will get better.. but part of me also doesn’t really believe it will.

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cosmic-m-b · 4 years

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I didn't want to post this... I worry I'm being annoying. (Scroll down past the pics for my commentary.)

These are screenshots of a post made by @lesblob (credit where credit is due) that talks about “compulsory heterosexuality.” (Mostly for lesbians, but can apply to any wlw.) I was searching for insight because of my current confusion about my attraction to men (or lack thereof?). I would have shared the original post, but I wanted to be able to circle the ones that I have experience with.

My intent with this post is not to convince myself that I am a lesbian (I will address my thoughts on this) but to help me recognize when/if I ever had a real crush on a guy.

On the screenshots, I circled the bullet points in either red or orange. The red ones are ones for which I have a specific example, the orange are either semi-true or only became true recently. I will explain as I go along.

“Analyzing every guy...” I probably should have circled this one in orange, but in general, once I have established that I am physically attracted to a guy (i.e. I think he is handsome enough or whatever) I will look for reasons to justify letting it blow up into a full-on crush.

“Logical reasons...” This kind of mixes with the first point a bit, but things like, “he can take me to the temple,” “he is good with money,” “my mom would think he’s cute,” etc.

“Fantasies about men revolve around the future...” This one is interesting because I had never realized that this was what I was doing. All of my ideas of the future, me being a stay-at-home mom, possibly working from home... I have never been able to imagine any kind of comfortable domesticity with a male partner. I actually didn’t realize this until this past week. There was a moment where I saw myself, sometime in the future, in a relationship with a woman... and I was able to see my place, how I would fit in that kind of partnership... It felt so good and comforting.

“The thought of doing anything sexual with a man grosses you out.” I’m gonna be real with you... male genitalia grosses me out. It always has. It is literally the reason why I didn’t go into nursing. (So maybe I should have made this one red?) I always told myself that I would be okay once I’m married and I accepted that. But now that I know that I have other options... It’s looking less and less appealing. I put this one on orange because I feel like everything else would be fine. (I think. I’ve never even kissed anyone, so it’s hard to say.)

“Sexual fantasies...” This one is hard to give a specific answer/explanation for because I try so hard to avoid thinking about sex and it is ingrained in me to do so. I will just leave this as is, but know that this one is somewhat true.

“Emotional support...” Yeah, sometimes I just want some manly arms to hold me when I’m upset, but idk how deep that relationship would be.

“Lonely...” I also get lonely sometimes. Most of the time I’m happy to be single. It doesn’t bother me to be alone. But when I do get lonely, I want a spouse (before, a man, specifically) to hold me and make me not feel super lonely.

“Approval...” Being a returned missionary has its pressures, and one of them is that of getting married super fast. Not only that, but I always hoped to have a really hot husband so that people from my mission would tell me how well I picked, not necessarily because I wanted one.

“Believing those reports that every woman finds other women attractive...” ‘Nuff said.

“Female friends...” This one has been hard to realize. The last friend I had like this was in middle school and she really broke my heart. I haven’t been able to get that close with anyone since, and since it’s been over ten years, I don’t remember what my actual feelings towards her were or what my daily thoughts were for me to be able to confirm this.

“Thinking a guy being nice to you means you should date him.” This happened with my last big “crush.” I literally didn’t care for him before, but all of a sudden he was giving me attention and being nice to me and I was like, “This is my chance!” I crushed hard, and then I was crushed hard. He was just being nice like a friend would. (We are friends now and his girlfriend is chill.) It was actually this that made me realize (well before I knew I was attracted to women) that I tended to start to like guys that liked me first. I don’t generally like guys for no reason.

“Thinking guys are cute from afar...” This one I actually thought everyone did? I feel like this one is pretty self-explanatory. (I don’t think I have ever met a man that I thought smelled good...)

“Liking guys until they reciprocate interest...” I thought I just had commitment issues, but maybe I just don’t want to commit to a guy? I feel like my standards for men are so high that at this point, I will never find one that I actually want to be with. Even if there is initial attraction, there is always something that makes me feel like I’m settling, so I break it off because of fear and because I feel that they deserve better than someone who doesn’t think the world of them.

“Testing whether or not you’re attracted to men...” I included this one because I have always felt that I could control whether or not I fell for a guy. Like, if he’s too young or if he is a student in the class I TA. Doesn’t matter if he’s cute or not, I can easily just... not let myself like him. And recently... I haven’t wanted to like any guys. So I just... haven’t. It’s really weird.

“Assuming you have to like men...” Anyone who has grown up in the Church has grown up with the assumption that they will one day fall in love with and marry someone of the opposite gender. I am no different. I never even knew there were women who like women until I was in middle school. Thinking back on my young (5 yr old) self, who thought that guys were dumb and icky, I probably would have LOVED to have a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend, but I didn’t know it was an option.

“Misinterpreting anxiety...” This should have been orange, but yeah. When going on a date with a guy that is conventionally attractive, I have felt anxious and more so hoped that it was butterflies.

“Convincing yourself that you like men because being a lesbian seems too hard to deal with.” This one is where I am at right now. Is that what I am doing now with all of this? I circled more than half of the bullet points. Truthfully, I fear the inflexibility of calling myself a lesbian. Like, I don’t want to discount the still existing possibility of ending up with a man, but then again... that could just be the heteronormativity talking. Or the not-wanting-to-disappoint-my-mother. (Truth be told, I have recently accidentally referred to myself as a lesbian on more than one occasion, but only in my own mind.) Do I even want to end up with a man anymore? The only motivations I have are: being able to remain in the Church, having my own biological children, and not disappointing my mother.

Idk what all of this accomplished, but I am still afraid of labeling myself as a lesbian. What if I wake up tomorrow, no longer attracted to women and I end up meeting the man of my dreams? Honestly, I would be kind of disappointed. I think this is so difficult for me because I never before this year ever anticipated finding myself attracted to women at all. I have been “straight” my whole life, so I am having a hard time letting go of that. I don’t know how to interpret my feelings and I don’t know how to label myself. (I realize I don’t have to, I just feel like I will be able to relax more once I do.)

I was hoping to be able to come out to my mom during Christmas time, but idk what to tell her. Idk if I want to say I’m bi because then she will still maintain the hope that I will marry a guy, which, right now, I don’t really want. But I also don’t want to say I’m lesbian because I don’t know that I feel that I am. But I also don’t think she will understand what I mean if I just tell her I’m queer.

And then I have some severe impostor syndrome like, “my attraction to women probably isn’t even real and one day everyone will realize that I am just a Straight™, infiltrating the LGBT community just so I can feel oppressed.”

Okay I am done for now, but if you read through all of this BLESS YOU you are amazing.

If any of you has input, feel free to comment, I will read them ALL, but I can’t promise to respond to everyone.

#queerstake #lgbt #lgbt mormon #religious lgbt #lds lgbt #questioning #HELP #advice?#please?#bisexual #lesbian

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pogasm · 4 years

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1: Biggest pet peeve?

HEARING CHEWING oh my gosh(and snoring, and people breathing loud)

2: Cute story about the person you like?

we danced together once, i almost died inside. idk how she didnt notice i was blushing

3: Best date story?

the only dates i have is with unimportant people

4: Funny experience with your friends?

we were filming a tiktok nd she was on a trampoline and she fell. on her face.

5: Favorite song at the moment?

too many to count

6: Favorite movie at the moment?

imagine watching a movie? cant realate

7: Favorite TV shows?

b99, chilling andventures of sabrina, big mouth(dont judge me)

8: Turn ons?

old man toes, consent

9: Turn offs?

young man toes, no consent

10: Best surprise story?

my mom thought she was going to have male and female twins but i vored my brother. Surprise!

11: How you were asked to be a girlfriend/boyfriend?

he was like ‘wanna date’ and i said sure. i did not like him. i regretted it.

12: Cutest thing anyone has done for you?

giving me stuff they made with their own hands, cooking with me, going shopping together

13: Nicest compliment you’ve ever received?

people should just stop giving me compliments. i dont like it. i cant remember any valid compliment

14: why do you hate the person you hate how?

he wants people to inject themselve with uv rays and lysol

15: Best physical feature of the person you like?

eyes

16: Best characteristic of the person you like?

funny

17: Best breakfast to have?

pancakes i make myself, choccy milk, pineapples

18: Your idea of the perfect date?

okay hear me out hear me out…. it’s a drive in movie. something scary is playing! we brought snacks. we hold hands. yeah i said it.(wow, hive mind) the stars are out, and after the movie we go stargazing, and then raid walmart because were hungy!. the end.

19: Baddest thing you’ve ever done?

shoplifted nailpolish

20: How many languages do you know?

3 fluently, 2 non fluently

21: Do you play any instruments?

i want to learn how to play geetar. then maybe drums. i took piano lessons when i was younger. i learned nothing

22: Most difficult situation you’ve ever been in?

any situation where i have to make a decision. being in the same place as my family when theyre being homophobic

23: Sweetest text you’ve ever received?

i really dont know. once one of my friends told me that i was a great friend and she really appreciated me and i was like ‘bitch where?’

24: Any secret obsessions you have?

i dont talk about it often, but i want to have lauren jauregui’s babies

25: Meanest thing you’ve ever told someone?

your next child will be stillborn.

26: Earliest memory of your life?

my fifth birthday, it was a private school where everyone wore uniforms, but it was my bday so i wore a dress. there was cake and soda. i got a sugar high

27: what do you wanna be when you grow up?

something in the medical field, foresic biologist, or coroner. or journalist.

28: Any celebrity crushes?

lauren jauregui, the person that played rosa diaz in b99, hozier. bernie sanders.

29: Something you can never live without?

friends, books, phone

30: Daily ritual you have?

everyday im like ‘wow, i want to paint’ then i remember i left all my art stuff in jeff

31: Any special jewelry?

i like rings. and chains that dangle, but not heavy ones.

32: If you can have one wish, what would it be?

rewind to october 2019. it was a pretty nice month. halloween.

33: Naughtiest thing you’ve ever done?

i stole a juice box from the fridge, i drank mt dads alchohol(i was 8) i did a strip show for old men(i was also 8)

34: Any struggles you are currently dealing with?

all the sturggles.

35: what/who do you miss the most?

EMMA. and my life in october 2019.

36: In your opinion, the best thing about love?

the feeling of it being mutual. being connected to your so. being domestic with them

37: In your opinion, the worst thing about love?

its hard to figure out sometimes i think. when the person u love hurts u, it hurts bad.

38: Your opinion on cheating?

people who cheat deserve the guillotine

39: Most inspirational thing you’ve ever been told?

“fuck bitches get money”

40: Scariest thing that’s ever happened to you?

oh god oh fuck i had a dream where i slept with a straight male

41: Any fears about the future?

Being a bad parent. being stuck with my family, not picking the right career, not getting into college, living too long

42: Any fears in general?

straight males. straight people in general

43: Regret anything?

Who doesn’t regret things? it’s a part of living.

44: if you could change anything about yourself what would it be?

Physically i’d make myself taller and better hair. mentally, i dont wanna get into that long list. And get rid of procrastination.

45: Best way to your heart?

cook me stuff. actually like me for me. like the food i cook. cook with me. move into the woods and live in a cabin with a moss yard and 3 cats. be nice

46: Your opinion on young love?

Go for it, babey! yolo

47: Most fun thing you have done this year?

leaving my house in the middle of quarantine without a mask or gloves. #rebel

48: What would you do for a klondike bar?

idek what that is.

49: Do you believe in love at first sight?

i beleive in infatuation at first sight that turns into love. kinda like love at first sight but not

50: Tell a random fact about yourself.

i can balance a phone on my boob while balancing a book on my head and books on my hands while sitting upright. all at the same time

#more!#i love doing these #kinda like theraphy

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helloalycia · 5 years

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a painful return // carol danvers

summary: your girlfriend, Carol, is always returning home from missions bruised and battered. This once, she returns injury-free, which you thought was a miracle, but of course, that just isn't the case.

warning/s: idk I guess mentions of losing someone you love?

author's note: I have no idea what this is, it's pretty shitty but I also kinda like it too? idk but yeah aha enjoy my gals (and guys, if there are any reading)

masterlist

I struggled to pull on my second shoe as I kept my toast balanced between my teeth. I was running extremely late for work because of my stupid alarm and the last thing I needed was to hit the morning traffic.

As if the world was completely against me, I heard a persistent knocking on my flat door, causing me to roll my eyes. Talk about wrong timing.

I finished yanking on my shoe before stuffing the rest of my toast in my mouth. I realised that was probably a dumb move as I struggled to shout out: "Give me a second!" to whoever was at the door, it instead coming out as a series of muffled noises.

I headed to the door, managing to swallow my toast as I pulled it open, not bothering to check who it was. You can imagine my surprise when I saw my girlfriend, who had been on a mission for three weeks with no contact allowed whatsoever, stood there with a small smile on her lips.

"Would you believe me if I said I lost my keys?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow playfully.

I couldn't help but let out a laugh, relieved to see her looking well. I wasn't sure when she was going to come back - she said it could be a month at the least. When she usually came back from a mission, she was always recovering from some life-threatening injury. But here she was. Perfectly fine.

"Oh my god, Carol!" I immediately embraced her in a hug, feeling tears prick at my eyes. "You're here!"

She chuckled as she wrapped her arms around my waist, holding me close. I closed my eyes, unable to stop grinning. She was really here.

"I missed you so much," I said, pulling away, but keeping her hand in mine. I brought her inside our flat and shut the door behind us. "I thought you weren't going to be back for at least another few weeks."

She nodded, stepping forward and using her finger to wipe away a stray tear I didn't even know had fallen. A concerned smile was on her face. "I know, but it ended earlier than planned. Come on, don't cry, darling."

I didn't know what else to do but laugh, using my finger to dry the corners of my eyes. "I'm sorry, I just- wow. You're really here. And you're okay. I mean, you seem okay. Are you okay?"

Her eyes crinkled as she smiled at my question. "I'm okay."

I felt relief spread through me as I nodded, thanking God she was well. I don't think I could have taken it if she had come back to me battered and bruised like usual - it hurt me to see her in so much pain, and I was always afraid I would lose her.

"Work!" I blurted, realisation hitting me as I saw the clock behind her head. I was late. "Oh my- Carol- damn!"

I thought to myself, trying to find a way to maybe get out of work. I didn't have any sick days left, so that wouldn't work. Plus I had that presentation to prepare for, so it wouldn't help. I also had to help my colleague with his presentation and-

"Hey, don't worry about!" she spoke, bringing me back to reality. She grabbed my hands and squeezed them reassuringly. "I'll be here when you come back. And we can catch up then. I want to hear about everything you got up to when I was gone."

I smiled, nodding my head. She looked so beautiful and all I could think about was how lucky I was to have her.

"I'll ring you on my break, and again at lunch," I promised her, unfortunately having to let go of her hands and grab my bag from the kitchen counter, "and again when I'm on my way back." I grabbed my coat from beside the door and stopped before her. "I'll see you later."

She laughed, already trying to push me to the door which she had opened now. "Okay, okay, I don't doubt any of that, Y/N, now go! You're going to be late!"

I nodded and was about to leave, before suddenly turning around. She raised an eyebrow with amusement.

"I forgot to say that I love you," I breathed out, before moving forward and pressing my lips to hers. I hadn't kissed her in so long, but I could never forget how she made me feel when we did.

When we broke apart, she grinned at me, her eyes meeting mine. "I love you, too. Now go."

I smiled and gave her a haste kiss before leaving, half-running to the lift so I wouldn't be late. I honestly couldn't wait to be back with her later.

***

I did exactly as I said I would - called Carol during my break, my lunch and on the commute home. I just missed her so much and she was stuck in my mind all day. I was on a natural high at the thought of having her back here with me, safe.

Carol never discussed the specifics of the missions she went on, whether that be with S.H.I.E.L.D. or the Avengers themselves. She tried to keep that part of her life separate from ours, and I was never one to pry. If anything, I kind of preferred it because I would probably have a heart attack every time she mentioned almost dying. It happened more times than you'd think and it worried me every time, especially when she returned to me after being patched up for some major injury.

She would come home, hurt and bandaged, and I would look after her the best I could, all whilst trying to push away the fact that one day she might not come back alive. It terrified me, imagining a life without Carol, but I knew it was her job. She was a hero who saved lives and she loved doing that. I loved watching her do it. But it didn't make it any easier to handle.

That's why this time was even more special than all the other times, if possible. She was well, uninjured and safe. How it should always be.

When I returned home (quite quickly, might I add), I saw Carol in the kitchen cooking. It warmed my heart, seeing the look of concentration on her face as she managed the pans on the stove.

"You didn't have to cook," I said when entering the kitchen, a smile tugging at my lips. "You just got back. You must be exhausted."

Her eyes lit up when she saw me and she pulled me in for a hug before kissing me on the cheek. A hand around my waist still, she led me to the stove to show me what she was doing.

"I wanted to," she said, glancing at me. "You deserve it. I'm making spaghetti bolognese. Your favourite."

I nodded. "I'm impressed, Danvers."

She squeezed my waist a little. "You go get changed. It should be done when you come back."

I rested my hand on hers, bringing it up to my mouth to kiss it gently, before leaving her side to freshen up. Seeing Carol acting all domestic was a very nice change of pace compared to how I usually found her after a long mission, and it brought a smile to my face. God, I just loved her so much.

We had a lovely meal that evening and I caught Carol up on all that she missed, which actually wasn't that much now that I had said it aloud. Nonetheless, she insisted on hearing about all of my mundane routine without her and I appreciated her listening to me. I asked about how her mission was and without dwelling on it for too long, she assured me it went perfect hence why it ended early. I left it at that, as did she.

When we finished eating, Carol stood up, grabbing our plates, ready to take them to the sink.

"I can clean up, Carol, come on, you've just gotten home," I said, also standing up.

She rolled her eyes playfully, already moving to the sink. "It's fine, Y/N. You've been at work all day. Just let me do something, okay?" She stopped halfway on her walk to the sink, a flash of discomfort crossing her expression.

I grew concerned as I stepped towards her, about to take the dishes from her hands. "Carol, love, are you okay?"

She moved the dishes from my grasp and a reassuring smile appeared in an instant. "Yeah, sorry. I just- you know when you walk and your foot does that weird cramp thing? That happened. It's good now."

I raised an eyebrow, studying her curiously. "Okay, whatever you say..."

She grinned at me, which put any of my doubts at ease, before ushering me out of the kitchen. "Go. Go on. I got this."

I smiled at her, watching her with adoration. I gave her a quick hug from behind, pressing a kiss to her neck, before leaving her be. If she wanted to clear up, who was I to argue? She'd just keep protesting and Carol was too stubborn for her own good.

After she cleared everything away, we both spent an hour or so watching some TV before I started to grow sleepy. I'd been up pretty early and always got tired after a long day at work, yet I was trying so hard to make this night last. Carol was with me and I had missed her so much. I know it made no sense - I'd see her when I woke up beside her in the morning - but I just wanted to be with her a little longer.

"Come on, sleepy head," Carol said, kissing the top of my head. My eyes were closed, but I heard the TV turn off. "Let's get to bed."

"I'm awake," I said, sitting up, finding it difficult to keep my eyes open. "Just a little longer, come on. I like being here with you."

She let out a laugh, standing up. "We can be together in our bedroom. Where you can have a good night's rest because God knows you're gonna fall asleep any moment now."

It took a moment for her words to register in my mind, before I glanced up at her, one eye open. "What?"

She laughed, suddenly picking me up bridal-style. "To bed. Now."

I didn't bother arguing anymore, instead closing my eyes as I allowed her to carry me to our room. She tucked me in bed, before joining my side and spooning me from behind. I smiled with comfort, intertwining our fingers.

"You not gonna take your hoodie off?" I mumbled, eyes closed. "It's pretty warm tonight."

I was too tired to realise she hesitated. "Erm, no. It's comfy."

I hummed in response, not really hearing her anyway. All I knew was that I hadn't slept that well since she'd left for her mission.

***

I woke up the next morning to my alarm clock ringing like a drill in my head. Groaning, I snoozed it and patted the other side of the bed, hoping to find Carol there. She rarely slept in, but I was hoping this morning would have been one of those days. Apparently not.

"God damn you and your early rising, plane-flying butt," I mumbled, rubbing my head to wake myself up.

"Good morning to you, too," I heard her voice, sensing the amusement.

I opened my eyes and sat up in bed, seeing her leaning against the doorframe, already up and dressed.

"Would it kill you to be there when I woke up so I can have morning cuddles?" I complained like a five-year-old.

She grinned. "You're awfully cranky at someone who just made you breakfast."

I narrowed my eyes at her, seeing the pride in her expression. "I hate you."

"Because you feel bad," she said pointedly, knowing that was exactly why. "Now come on, get up. You have a little time before going to work to sit with me."

I sighed, unable to stop the smile forming on my face.

I got ready for work before joining Carol in the kitchen, seeing the mini spread she'd put together for me. Eggs, toast, beans, hash browns, pancakes, pastries... geez, she'd gone all out.

"You're hiding something," I immediately said, stopping beside her as I looked at the counter full of food.

"Excuse me?" She laughed, pulling me close to her side by looping an arm around my waist.

"You're hiding something," I stated knowingly. "You cooked dinner, you cleaned up, you made me breakfast... I love you, Carol, and you're the sweetest person ever, but you're definitely hiding something. So, spill. Did you break something of mine? Lose something? Forget something?"

She chuckled, kissing me on the cheek. "Do I not treat you regularly enough for this to be classed as a rare thing?"

I eyeballed her curiously. "You treat me, yes. But this is strange. My detective senses are tingling."

She pressed her lips together to contain her laughter.

"Nonetheless, I will eat the food because I am not one for waste," I concluded, before taking a seat at the counter.

She let out a laugh as she joined my side. "Glad you made up your mind, darling."

***

My morning at work went by as usual, but I was adamant on getting my work finished so I could try to leave early. I had no meetings booked for the afternoon, so it was just a matter of working quickly enough. I just wanted to be with Carol - I still wasn't used to her being back and I appreciated it so much, knowing it might not be long before she might have to leave again, even for a day.

Thankfully, I was able to get my work done and leave early, hoping to go home and surprise Carol. However, when I reached our flat, I couldn't exactly find her. She wasn't in the kitchen or living-room, so I headed to our bedroom, calling out her name. When I heard a crashing sound in the bathroom, I furrowed my eyebrows and went over there.

"Carol?" I called, trying my luck and opening the door.

"Y/N, no-!"

"Oh my god!" I widened my eyes when I saw Carol bending down, picking up the contents of a first aid kit. She was wearing no shirt, her hand pressed to a bandage on her abdomen, but there was a lot of blood everywhere. The blue liquid soaked the bandage and several more on the floor.

"It's not as bad as it looks!" she was quick to defend, standing up and moving forward to approach me, but she grimaced as she moved.

"Sit down, right now," I told her, leading her to the edge of the bathtub.

"Y/N-"

"Right fucking now, Carol," I said sternly, feeling a lump form in my throat.

She sensed my anger and did as I said, sitting at the edge of the bathtub. I neared her and carefully looked beneath her stained bandage. There were stitches that ripped open, an injury that had previously been looked at evidently. A fresh one, maybe a few days old now...? The skin around it was still raw, trying to heal.

"I tore the stitches trying to grab something from the shelf in the kitchen," Carol muttered, unable to meet my eyes.

I clenched my jaw and nodded, before going to our well-stocked first aid kit, thanks to the many times she'd come back injured. I knew barely anything about first aid before meeting Carol. Now, I knew way more than the average person should have. Such as how to disinfect and suture a wound, at least long enough until a professional could take a look at it.

So that's what I did. An unnerving silence surrounded us as I got to work, temporarily fixing her injury whilst she sat there and said nothing. When I was finished, I washed my hands, cleaned up, and packed the first aid kit away back in the cabinet above the sink.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry," Carol finally spoke, guiltily.

I saw her reflection in the mirror, watching me with a frown. I turned around, leaning against the sink, and stared at her, my eyes flickering to the freshly bandaged injury. She'd had that since she returned and hadn't said a word. That explained the pain she felt last night. The hoodie she was wearing all the time, not wanting to give away the bandage under her shirt. She'd thought this through.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" I finally asked, meeting her eyes with glossy ones.

"I didn't want to worry you-"

"Screw that, Carol!" I stood up straight, glaring at her. "You could be in the safest place on Earth- heck, in the Universe, and I would still worry about you! I have every right to know when my girlfriend is hurt. What if I had hurt you? Made it worse? What if your stitches tore open in your sleep and I woke up to find you in a pool of your own blood? Huh? What then?"

She tried to stand up, her hand resting on her bandage. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I just didn't want to scare you. I wanted things to be different this time. I come back from my missions and I see how scared you get. I didn't want this to be the same. I thought- I thought it would work. But you came home early and I didn't expect this to happen."

I crossed my arms, hugging myself as I looked down to my shoes. "For Gods sake, Carol... I get scared because I love you. I'm terrified, okay? I'm terrified that one day your injuries will be too severe. Or maybe one day you won't come back to me. That's the truth." I looked up to meet her eyes, swallowing the lump in my throat. "But it's even scarier with you pretending to be okay. Because if something did happen, I wouldn't have known. I wouldn't be able to help you."

Carol frowned. "I didn't... I didn't think about it like that..."

It was quiet for the moment, before I sighed and said, "You need to get that checked out again. I only know so much. I'll drive you to Tony's."

She didn't say anything, but she did walk out of the bathroom and grab her jacket. I helped her put it on before grabbing my keys and taking her to the car. I helped her in the passenger's seat before jumping into the driver's seat. It was still silent between us and I wasn't sure what to say.

"I really am sorry," she said, looking up at me with a guilty expression.

I managed a tired smile, resting my hand on her thigh and squeezing it gently. "I know you are... we'll get you fixed up and you can rest up like you should have done initially. It'll be okay."

"And us?"

I grabbed her hand and pressed it to my lips, kissing her. "We'll be okay, too. I promise."

She nodded and I saw the relief in her eyes.

"I love you," I said, watching her with what I hoped was reassurance.

"I love you, too. I'm... I'm sorry."

I intertwined our fingers and squeezed gently. "I know, Carol."

#carol danvers #carol danvers imagine #carol danvers x reader #captain marvel #captain marvel x reader #captain marvel imagine #Brie Larson

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