shanisdunn

[shanisdunn]

My Haunted Campus Episode 1: Pitt-Greensburg (featuring Michele Laity and Chloe Mager)

My Haunted Campus is a podcast where college students are welcomed to share stories about what they perceive to be hauntings they’ve witnessed on their campus.

Click on “Keep Reading” at the bottom to access the transcript for this episode.

[Picture via @PittGreensburg on twitter]

Free music for non-commercial use from Fesliyan Studios.

–begin transcript–

(Shannon: Every college campus has lore about haunts, frights, and strange occurrences. Whether these stem from fact or fear, there’s no denying that we sometimes don’t feel alone.

The University of Pittsburgh at Greensburg was established in 1963 and while this might seem fairly new, there’s no denying that some students have had what they believe are run-ins with the paranormal.

For the very first episode of My Haunted Campus, I sat down with some friends and fellow Pitt-Greensburg residents as we talked about ghost stories stemming from their former apartment.)

Shannon: So I wanted to start talking about the weird things that went on in your apartment last year, just because there’s a lot of stories we collectively have from that. And like when I say collectively, even me, and I didn’t live there. But like what specific experiences do you guys have?

Meesh: Uh, my first run in with something spooky in Apollo was before Chloe lived with me, I lived in the same building. And I woke up to a man giggling. I very distinctly heard a man giggling in the hallway and I remember thinking that it was weird, because it was a weekend, and my roommates had all gone home. And there was no one else in the apartment. But I went back to bed and later on, I woke up again and texted all my roommates and said “were you guys in here? and did you bring your boyfriends?” and they said “we have not been there since Friday.” So, that was my first supernatural encounter in Apollo house that clued me in to the fact that I was not living there alone.

Shannon: Oh good! [laughs] If I heard a man giggling in the middle of the night, I would have left.

Meesh: [laughs]

Shannon: I would have gotten up and I would have moved out that night.

(Shannon: While we usually hope that events like this are mere tricks of the mind, this laughing man would continue to make his presence known.)

Shannon: So that was your first experience. 

Meesh: It was. It was my first of very many.

Shannon: You did confirm, though, at some point, that the man giggling was in fact Apollo, as we so affectionately call him.

Meesh: Yeah, I mean I kinda doubt that that was his actual name, but as we gained more just little experiences confirming that there was something in there, I ended up playing like a game that was supposed to allow you to talk to spirits. And I asked, at one point, “are you okay with us calling you Apollo?” and it said “yes,” so.

Chloe: [laughs]

Meesh: That’s what we still call him today. He answered a lot of questions that night, I just cant remember most of them. I remember that one in particular, because it was a very definitive like “yes you can call me Apollo.” I was like “oohhkayyy.”

Chloe: It’s– you know, it works cause it’s the Apollo house. It’s easy.

(Shannon: While the entity continued to wreak mischief, the apartment’s residents did not feel threatened by him.)

Meesh: I never really got malevolent vibes from Apollo. I think he was mischievous, but I don’t think that he downright had bad intentions for anyone.

Chloe: No.

Shannon: 10/10 was mischievous though.

Meesh: Yes, definitely like a trickster, prankster, but not like “I’m going to kill you in this house.”

Shannon: Yea, just more mild “poke you in the face when you’re trying to sleep.”

Meesh: [laughs]

(Shannon: At this moment, I begin to reminisce on the time I myself had a run-in, while taking a nap in Chloe’s bed.)

Shannon: One of the times I was over trying to nap in your bed, and you had poked me like a little bit earlier.

Chloe: Right.

Shannon: But then, I kept feeling you like hovering a hand near my face, and I kept snapping my eyes open and you hadn’t moved. And then I felt someone like actually poke me in the head, and so I snapped my eyes open and looked over at you real quick and there was no way you had reached all the way over. ‘Cause I was at the foot of your bed and you were at the head of your bed.

Chloe: Yeah.

Shannon: And there was no way you had reached over and poked me and gotten back without me seeing you move at all. And I looked at you and I was like “did you just poke me?” [laughs]

Chloe: [laughs]

Shannon: And you were like “no??”

Meesh and Chloe: [laughs]

Shannon: And I went “well someone just did!” [laughs]

Chloe: And then like, it might’ve been the same day–

Shannon: I think it was the same day.

Chloe: Like I said, we had passed Lily while she was walking to class, and we were walking to the apartment, and Meesh and Alex had just left the apartment when we were getting there. And after the whole like poking incident, we heard the door open to the apartment and then close. And it has a very distinct noise, you can tell what door it is. ‘Cause they’re spring-locked, you know, they just close on their own. And I was like “okay, maybe somebody forgot something,” and we heard footsteps coming down the hall. And then I like got up to check, to see who it was, and nobody was there. At all. Like, nobody. So...

Shannon: And we texted everyone to make sure.

Chloe: Yeah.

Shannon: And they sure were not present at the time.

(Shannon: During these few months, all of the activity in the apartment was attributed to Apollo messing around with us, but something darker began lurking.)

Meesh: At one point, the vibe of what was happening kind of shifted, so we thought that maybe there was an additional ghost in there.

Chloe: Right, right, right.

Meesh: ‘Cause Apollo, we knew wasn’t malevolent, but then at one point, it was stuff with Lily that– at one point I started filming Lily, and it had something to do with the ghost in the house, and as I panned over for her to do something that she wanted to do, it cut off. Despite the fact that I had filmed the whole thing, the video that actually had Lily in it was completely gone. And I think Lily also started having nightmares regarding some kind of demon man or something. Not my story to tell, but it was weird.

Chloe: I had that experience when we were dyeing my hair in the bathroom.

Meesh: Yes.

Chloe: It was you, me, Alex, and Lily. I was getting my hair dyed from Alex. I’m sitting facing the mirror, and I like see, out of the corner of my eye, a shadow figure run across the door. And it’s like kinda dog-shaped, like low to the ground, like just real fast across the door. And I didn’t say anything for a few minutes, ‘cause I didn’t wanna alarm anybody, and I was like “hey guys, um, I definitely just saw something run across the door,” and Alex freaked out and Meesh freaked out and everybody was scared afterwards. [laughs]

(Shannon: Within this same week, I also saw a dog shaped figure during one of my bouts of sleep paralysis, though I hadn’t known about Chloe’s experience.

It’s unsure where the line between entities is drawn, however, based on what we know about Apollo, the next experience was probably something or somebody else.)

Meesh: Honestly, probably the weirdest experience I’ve ever ever had, in Greensburg, was with Cameron Collins, who was our downstairs neighbor when we lived in Apollo. And I went down to do laundry one day, and found his room door open– it was wide open, he was standing in the door, but facing the side and he was staring directly at an empty wall. There was no TV there, or he wasn’t watching out the window, he was staring directly at an empty wall. And his side was to me, but the door was wide open. And so I stood there for a few minutes, blatantly staring at him, like trying to get his attention to tease him or ask him what he was doing. Uh, and he never ever acknowledged that I was there. [laughs] He just kept staring straight ahead. So I just thought “that’s kinda weird,” and went to do laundry, ‘cause obviously he didn’t want to give me his attention. And as I was leaving the laundry room, the door slammed shut and he was no longer there. He didn’t come out, he just– the door was shut.

Meesh: So, I asked him about it the next day, and I said “what the heck was that? Like what was going on? What were you doing?” He goes ‘I was doing what?” and I explained to him what happened and I jokingly asked “were you possessed?” and he said “I must have been, ‘cause I remember none of that.” and he was dead serious. [laughs, sighs] Our neighbor might’ve been possessed, it’s fine.

Shannon: So guys, what do you think? Greensburg campus, haunted?

Meesh: Absolutely.

Chloe: Yeah, well, parts of it.

(Shannon: These stories only surrounded one area of the campus, but the number of people who noticed strange ongoings can’t be coincidence. I believe that Pitt-Greensburg does have a spiritual presence and hope to investigate it more thoroughly one day.

Have you ever experienced something paranormal on your college campus? I’d love to hear your story.)

–end transcript–

#podcast #paranormal #spirits #ghost stories #ghosts #hauntings #college #college campus #college podcast #paranormal podcast #ghost podcast #shadow #shadows #creepy #spooky #horror #possession

[shanisdunn]

(Shannon: In 2015, the New York Times featured Mandy Len Catron’s essay, “To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This.”  The essay was based on a study by a psychologist, where he explored whether or not asking personal and intimate questions to strangers can accelerate the intimacy between them. The 36 questions were broken into three sets, with each set becoming more personal than the last. Because of the times we are in, I was not able to ask a stranger, but a friend whom I’ve known since my early high school days. While I did ask all 36 questions to her, this is just a selection of them. We found ourselves talking about childhood, living, dying, and her extensive collection of K-Pop photo cards. There was laughter, there was tension, but above all, there was love.)

Shannon: Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

Merritt: Hmm.. Harry Styles.

Shannon: (laughs) Yeah?

Merritt: (laughs) Yes.

Shannon: That’s a good choice.

(Shannon: While questions started off innocently, others of them took a more dramatic turn.)

Shannon: Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

Merritt: No, but... I don’t know. I feel like I’ll be alone. Like I think about being alone.

Shannon: That’s so sad!

Merritt: (laughs) I know! I know.  I don’t know.

Shannon: Let me know if you ever feel like you’re dying. I’ll come hang out with you.

Merritt: Alright, perfect.

Shannon: I don’t want you to die alone. 

Merritt: (laughs) I’ll invite you over. Hopefully it won’t be too traumatic.

(Shannon: These questions bounce around a bit and we come back to the topic of death on further questions, but others deal with the future and what we’d want for ourselves. Whether or not those hopes are achievable, I don’t know. But I’d like to think so.)

Shannon: If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Merritt: Umm, probably the ability to like set my mind to a goal and just like get it done. Like if I wanted to do something, I could just do it and work for it without giving up easily or like–

Shannon: Oh, the dream.

Merritt: I don’t know like if i woke up and said “I’m gonna finish this,” I could wake up and finish that. My sister and I were just talking about my aunt um and she’s just like the coolest person ever. But she just wakes up every morning– she’s the one we visited in Sweden– she just wakes up every day with something she wants to do and she does it! It’s just amazing. So that’s definitely what I would want to be like.

Shannon: If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

Merritt: Um, I mean it would– I don’t know. Like, I’d ask if I’m wasting my time right now. I feel like a lot of the time I worry that I’m just like doing nothing and like everything I’m doing is like not going to lead to something better. So I’d wonder if like– if everything I’m doing now would like be worth it.

Shannon: Well I’m not a crystal ball, but I feel like if you’re happy right now then it is worth it.

Shannon: If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are living now and why?

Merritt: If I knew that I was gonna die in one year... I would stop working as much as I do, but not completely cause i love my coworkers, and I’d wanna spend time with them. But I would, you know, stop focusing so much of my life on work because I think I waste– not waste, but like I spend too much time working. Um I’d be more intentional with the things I do. Like I said, I’d set a goal and do it as to not waste time. I’d try not to waste time, cause I do that a lot. I wouldn’t wanna like not do anything.

Shannon: Yeah. Well it’s especially hard now, because who knows in a year from today if well still be, you knowl in a pandemic. So that makes this question like double challenging.

Merritt: Yeah. I say if we weren’t like in a pandemic, I’d use all the savings that I have right now, that I’m saving for school, and I’d use that to do my traveling and do the things I want. And that’s such like a cliche, like “oh you’re gonna die and you go travel,” but I think that’s where my whole future is.

Shannon: Yeah.

Merritt: So I’d wanna get as much of that in as I can.

(Shannon: After talking about hopes and dreams, we get onto the topic of family.)

Shannon: How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s? (laughs)

(Shannon: I find myself chuckling here because we’d already talked about the traumas of childhood including her worst memories, which I chose to leave out because of how painful they are.)

Merritt: Um so I’d say my like childhood childhood was really good. Like I grew up with a lot of siblings, who were like not super close in age with me. I was the oldest, but there was always a baby around and I could always play with Tali and I’d play outside with the boys. My grandma lived super close to me and she still does so that’s a huge factor, being able to be so close to her and have her presence in my life cause that’s huge.

Merritt: Um my middle childhood I mean like early teen years, so I’d say from like 6th grade to 9th grade, or like beginning of 9th grade wasn’t the best. I feel like during that time I really got disconnected from my family and sometimes I don’t know if they pushed hard enough to get me back, or if i just didn’t– or they did and I didn’t recognize that they were trying, cause I was pushing them away so much. By like that time, I was online a lot and I’d met my online friends and that’s when I started falling into like my fandoms. And I was just doing other stuff. I just didn’t wanna be around my family. And then obviously I had a really bad relationship with my mom for a few years.

Merritt: But now, I’d say from like junior year to now has just been super good– mainly senior year, like senior year to now um just really good. I mean I don’t know what shifted; I think I started just becoming more independent, but not in a bad way, like not independent whereas before I’d like hole myself up in my room, but now I’m independent where I’m, you know, going to school and I’m working. I’m just more mature and grown up now. And now that I’m more grown up and mature, I definitely take on more of like a motherly role with my younger siblings, but like I do care about them a lot and I like kind of take care of them in the older sister way. But I’d say now its really good. It’s come full circle, we’re back to when i was a little kid. Just had a little bump along the way in middle school.

(Shannon: The topic of family can always be tricky, but soon we find ourselves away from that, instead talking about love and affection.)

Shannon: Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share...”

Merritt: I wish I had someone to share my affection with. Cause I feel like sometimes my need for affection goes beyond like hugging my sister, or like, you know, just like cuddling with my cat. I feel like it goes beyond that sometimes

Shannon: Yeah. Like, every day I wake up and I’m not dating an anime boy. (laughs)

Merritt: Mhmm! Every day I wake up and I’m not dating a k-pop boy.

Shannon: (laughs)

Merritt: it’s painful (laughs)

(Shannon: The thought of k-pop boys continues to dawdle in our minds, and is brought back up in a later answer, for which I asked what one thing she’d save from her home if she had time to go back after all of her family was out.)

Merritt: This is so dumb, but I’d go get my binder of photo cards. (laughs) So embarrassing. Um, but they’re like thousands of dollars worth so... (laughs) I’d take those.

(Shannon: She continues on explaining the significance behind them.)

Merritt: It’s dumb, but like before when I was first getting into k-pop, Tali was like “oh yeah there– people will collect photo cards” and like– “They collect photo cards and they spend so much money” [At this point, she got up to go bring over her box of photo cards to show me] And I’m like– “I would never ever collect photo cards! Like who does that? (laughs) Like who has this desire to own pictures of all these men? Men!” And now I– (laughs) Pages worth! Of just. These are like the– oh no I just dumped them everywhere. Just the loose ones that are just out. I just have pages. Of men.

Shannon: Pages of men.

Merritt: Pages. Of– of men. It’s literally a piece of paper. I have one on my computer. They bring me so much joy. I’m telling you. It can’t be compare– you can’t compare it to anything.

(Shannon: The rest of our time is spent talking about problems she’s faced and how we’d fix them, and other general catching up. Eventually, all that’s left is the goodbye.)

Shannon: Okay.

Merritt: Alright.

Shannon: Thank you so much–

Merritt: You’re welcome!

Shannon: For sitting down with me and answering–

Merritt: You’re welcome, I missed you! I miss you.

Shannon: These intimate questions. I miss you too!

Merritt: When are you coming home?

(Shannon: I tell her late November, and we start conversing again about potential plans before the final goodbye.)

Shannon: Mkay.

Merritt: Alright.

Shannon: I’m gonna let you go.

Merritt: Bye love you!

Shannon: Bye! Love you the most.

Merritt: Love you so much. Have a good day.

Shannon: You too!

(Shannon: I know Merritt and I aren’t strangers, but I’m left with newfound love in my heart which I’m not sure was there before. If this conversation was between a stranger and me, I definitely think that depending on their answers, we, too, would become friends.)

#digital storytelling #interview #intimate questions #friendship #love

[shanisdunn]

BUBBLE BLOWING BABIES - An Interview With My Roommate

I sat down with my roommate, Mikayla, to discuss depression and our different coping mechanisms for it, including animes and music, as well as arguing over the superior beverage.

-BEGIN TRANSCRIPT-

Shannon: So depression, huh?

Mack: Yeah

Shannon: We sure do both have it.

Mack: (laughing) We sure do.

Shannon: Ummm, I don’t really want to talk want to talk about depression itself more so coping mechanisms. Um I know in one of my previous posts I talked about how you've been getting me into some animes. How many do you think we've walked by now?

Mack: Me and you? We’ve watched about I think probably like 6 or 7. I think I'm personally at like 20-ish.

Shannon: Do you have any favorites?

Mack: Haikyuu, the volleyball one (laughing)

Shannon: We watched that one together.

Mack: At least five times so many times.

Shannon: I also talked about how we both have our instruments here. You have a guitar that you play sometimes.

Mack: I do. I have one at home too but this one's less expensive so this is the one I bring to college (laughing).

Shannon: Do you like playing?

Mack: I do. It frustrates me because I’m not immediately good at it, so I just don’t really pick it up as much anymore.

Shannon: I think it sounds nice when you play it.

Mack:  Thank you, I try. I'm going to start learning the given song. (fuyunohanashi)

Shannon: Oh good!

Mack: The background, not the main part because that’s way too hard for a beginner like me.

Shannon: I think it will be beautiful. Um, another coping mechanism is when we blew up like 25 balloons and now they are just on our floor.

Mack: I still think there’s at least–– cause when we were blowing them up, I counted them to see how many we had left and we had like 35 left and we had already blown off like 20 of them. Maybe there’s 50.

Shannon: There's definitely no way this is like 70, though.

Mack: Okay. I have a bad memory. But yeah I think it’s at least like 50.

Shannon: I think we should count them. So, off of balloons let's talk warm beverages I'm pretty sure you prefer hot chocolate because I make it for you when you're sad but are there any other warm beverages that you prefer?

Mack: I think it's the just the hot chocolate.

Shannon: Just the hot chocolate?

Mack: I prefer cold beverages. That’s where we differ.

Shannon: Do you have a favorite cold beverage?

Mack: Milk. I know people who drink straight milk get a lot of slander, but the only reason I am strong (laughs).

Shannon: It’s so yucky.

Mack: You’re yucky. Well I drink like straight milk when I’m eating like cookies or Oreos or having breakfast. I don’t just drink milk with nothing to go with it.

Shannon: I still could never. Have you ever tried like almond milk or anything?

Mack: Almonds are disgusting.

Shannon: Yeah, but it doesn’t taste like almonds.

Mack: It does! I have tried it and I did not enjoy it at all. (Laughter) Have you ever broken a bone?

Shannon: No.

Mack: Okay, never mind. I was gonna use that point to say I haven’t because my bones are strong. (Laughter) Because of the milk. (Laughter) It’s a valid point, you just don't agree with it.

Shannon: I personally like coffee. I drink so much of it, every day.

Mack: It’s true, she does. (Laughter) Multiple cups. I mean, that’s valid, you’re tired a lot, so. I mean, we’re both tired. I drink Coke, you drink coffee, to stay awake.

Shannon: Caffeination Nation.

Mack: (laughing and whispering) Caffeination Nation.

Shannon: Well thank you for taking time out of your busy of living with me and hearing my jokes to sit down with me.

Mack: I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Shannon: Not that you would have a choice to miss it, because you live with me.

Mack: (laughing) I literally can’t escape. I’m stuck.

Shannon: But I’m sure you enjoy it.

Mack: I do.

Shannon: We have a good time together, I'd like to think.

Mack: I hope so. I hope you’re not tired of me yet.

Shannon: Absolutely not.

Mack: Alright good, just making sure.

Shannon: I'm interviewing you! Why would I be tired of you?

Mack: Because you literally cannot leave! We’re stuck in here together.

Shannon: Well good thing it’s the two of us. Wouldn’t want anyone else.

Mack: (laughing, muttering “It’s the two of us” to herself)

Shannon: Well, Mikayla, thank you for taking time today to sit down with me and do this. I hope you have a good rest of night.

Mack: Thanks! You too. Of course.

-END TRANSCRIPT-

#digital storytelling #interview #roommate #mikayla #coping mechanisms #warm beverages #anime #balloons

[shanisdunn]

Next Week: Meet The Roommate!

Next week I will be putting out an interview with my roommate, Mikayla. For those of you who remember my How To Do Dishes When Your Body Won’t Move post, you’ll remember me introducing her. Now, you’ll get to meet her too! We will be sitting down to discuss experiences with depression, coping mechanisms, and might reminisce on when we first became friends. Stay tuned for next week’s post! You won’t want to miss it!

[shanisdunn]

Vladimir: Origin Story

Transcript:

There’s not many people who have supported me for extensive periods of time. There was a point in time when I didn't really have friends to support and comfort me. But that all changed when my sweet darling boy came into my life.

In 2010, my sister brought two cats with her when she moved back into my dad’s house-- their names were Gracie and Dave. I loved Dave with all my heart, but he passed on earlier than he should have. Gracie pretty much just did what she wanted. She was very easy-going and laid back. So, you can imagine our surprise when she went missing.

My sisters and I had our bedrooms in the attic at this time. The door to downstairs was always shut, so there wasn’t any way she had just run off to another part of the house. Eventually, we realized that the screen in the open window was slightly moved. Horror struck when we realized she would have had to jump from the 3rd floor.

We were in a panic for a couple days before she came back, acting like everything was normal. She simply appeared right outside of our door as if she hadn’t run away. We made sure she was never able to leave again like she had and were super glad she was okay, but little did we know that on her mini vacation, she became pregnant.

It was quite the shock when she had the kittens, at least to me-- they were born underneath my bed in the attic. My sister is the one who discovered them, but just seeing the newborn kittens was enough to make me fall in love.

The names my sister and mom settled on were Frankenstein, Vladimir, and Elvira, or Frank, Vlad, and Ellie for short. A couple years down the road we had to give Gracie and Elvira to a new family, because they were having problems with our other cats (I think we already had 3 others at the time, outside of this quad). I wished we could have kept them, but I wasn’t old enough to have a say in the matter.

Nevertheless, we kept Frank and Vlad and they were some of the most darling cats I’d ever had the pleasure of raising. I don’t have many specific memories of caring for them in grade school, but they just were always a constant in my life. They got along with our other cats and were one of the most mischievous duos, which always made me laugh-- any trouble they got into, it was always together.

A couple years ago, though, Frank got sick. It was an upper respiratory infection that just kept getting worse, no matter what we did for him, and we did a lot. He ended up passing away this past winter while I was at school. My brother described it as “he fell asleep under the christmas tree and just didn’t get up. He looked so at peace.”

The atmosphere was different when I returned to my dad’s house. Vlad was depressed, and honestly, I was too, but I think finally getting to see me again was a comfort. I’m glad to have been able to return the favor of all the years of comfort he gave to me.

This past summer, he all but lived in my room. Even while I was away at work, when he wasn’t nagging my dad or sister for food, he was sleeping on my bed, or in my clothes. He doesn’t hesitate to crawl right into my lap as soon as he sees me sit, even if it’s just to take off my shoes. When I’d go to sleep for the night, he always made sure to sleep right on top of me. I swear I can see the excitement in his eyes when I wake up or return home to him. He is my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye, and we’re always waiting to see each other again.

Vladimir is one of the best people I’ve gotten to know and love. Being away from him is hard. When I am at my dad’s house, he is always there with me, unless he’s yelling at me from the top of the stairs because he’s hungry. When I’m with him, it’s almost like he knows what I’m feeling. When I’m feeling down, he’s right there to provide me with comfort. Every day I am grateful that he came into my life.

#writing #cats #emotional support #love #animal

[shanisdunn]

Video Essay - Crushed Into Beauty

Transcript:

I’ve always had a thing for trying to preserve beauty when I can. Flowers are nature’s gift to us, a reminder of the cycle of life and that beauty comes in many forms. 

Pressing flowers is merely a hobby, but what a beautiful payout it has. The flowers themselves come in a whole array of colors and, for the most part, these colors keep during the preservation. While hang drying flowers keeps them in a three-dimensional form, the loss of color is a lot more prominent. That’s part of the reason why pressing is my favorite method.

Paper thin, they are one of the simplest forms of joy. Pressed into the crease of a book or used as a warming addition to letters, they provide love wherever they travel. Everything I create, I do so with love, and these are no exception. Something this beautiful deserves it. 

The types of flowers I pick really don’t matter. I usually tend to go for smaller ones since they transfer the best, but bigger ones can be pressed by their individual petals and later be used to decorate things. The ones that have small enough stems to press with the flowers are my favorite, because they can be taped onto letters sent to friends. I don’t know whether or not people keep them once received, but it’s nice to think that they at least enjoyed them. 

I hope that they can serve as a message of hope and kindness to those who receive them; the world needs it, especially in a time like this. I know they help me to remember that there’s good, so maybe the same applies for others.

Variety is never an issue, since wildflowers are easily accessible and small enough to collect with ease. The best times to look for them is when I go on walks in or near the woods. I like learning what they are, their names and if they have a purpose. I’d hate to pick up anything that might be poisonous, plus I just enjoy learning names of different plants.

Ones that are mostly petals, without stems, usually don’t work well with being taped, so they have to be glued. The only downside to this is that once they are glued they cannot be reused and I love being able to reuse things. Plus, if I mess up, it’s a tricky situation to fix. That’s not to say that they can’t be useful, though. I’ve done a number of makeup looks that involved gluing petals onto my face. 

Once, I told my mom about the hobby. We don’t speak much, so it was shocking when she came across as excited and interested about it. She asked me to send her pictures of them whenever I can and to teach her how to do it. I responded with how easy it is. Apparently, my grandma liked to press them, too. My mom said she can never get them to look right, but it’s all about aligning and positioning them how you want, right before you close them in. I send her letters every once in a while, closing her in, with a flower taped near the bottom.

The actual preservation process I use is simply sticking them in a page of a book, covered in parchment or wax paper to absorb any residual moisture and putting flattened weight on. I have a friend who uses a microwave press method and, while this is quicker, in turn, they usually don’t look as good. It takes out more of the color and, occasionally, makes them too mushy to use for anything.

Part of the fun is the wait. Patience is something with which I struggle, so having to wait to create something so simple and delicate is a battle within myself. They need time to finish drying out and flattening fully, which could take a couple weeks depending on how many and how big they are. Then, I just leave them alone for a while.

I think that loneliness is what drove me to doing this in the first place. It’s just a fun little hobby of preserving something so timeless. The flowers themselves have a sense of hope about them. Sending them in letters, decorating with them, or incorporating them into my makeup are all ways to spread hope and love. They are a charming creation, courtesy of nature herself: a simple, yet alluring thing that can be found anywhere, used anywhere to spread some beauty. But they are majestic and have many purposes.

This is true for us, as well. I think that some care, and even loneliness at times, can give us the opportunity to expand on how we think of ourselves. Our beauty may not be able to be preserved in the same way as those flowers, but maybe we can be appreciated by others in a similar way.

#video essay #essay #video #blog post #pressed flowers #flowers #nature #purpose #beauty #care #loneliness #petals #family #letters

[shanisdunn]

How To Do Dishes When Your Body Won’t Move

Trying to navigate life with depression sometimes feels impossible. I have to take things a day at a time so that I do not overwhelm myself with tasks. I get exhausted easily and have to send myself into states of caffeine-induced productivity to get anything done. Everyday things prove to be challenges, and if I’m being honest, the hardest part of the day is usually the actual act of getting myself out of bed.

This is my safe space of slumber and my favorite dwelling place. This is where I can usually be found, unless I’m eating, going on a walk, or actually have somewhere to be. A lot of my work comes from sitting here, though sometimes if I can’t bring myself to think, I’ll sit at my desk. This is the one place that provides me with the most comfort, whether it be at school or at my dad’s house. My bed is always available to hold me and allow me to relax, but sometimes it serves as a reminder of the past as well. The set-up is the same as when I’m at my dad’s, and I get sad sometimes knowing that my cats aren’t around here to wreak havoc and scratch up my blankets.

When I finally pull myself out of bed for the day, I do the normal things like brush my teeth and wash my face. Depending on the day, I have to go to class or sometimes a meeting, but what matters is that I make it to them. I may look like a complete mess on the camera, but I’m there; that must count for something. My roommate usually wakes up a little after me and we greet each other and continue about our days of classes and trying to find things to eat— our meals usually consist of microwaved quesadillas or ramen, usually accompanied by some variety of chip. 

Besides classes, there’s plenty I have to do during my day. Like I said, I try to take it one day at a time. This includes chores, though. In a depression-filled room, it is a wonder that we are able to get the blinds open every day, let alone actually clean things. I try to do dishes every night, but there’s some times when I simply do not have the energy. In these moments, I tell myself to try again tomorrow. Laundry is another story, though. Since it’s not an everyday thing, I can convince myself to do it at a later time. This is fine and all, until the laundry piles up. Sometimes it takes me a week and a half to get the energy, but then I have clean clothes again, so it’s a win.

Other than chores and actual work, I spend a lot of the day trying to keep myself chill. My roommate has been getting me into anime, and we have watched a couple different ones by now. Sometimes if I don’t have the energy to follow a show we’re watching, I’ll just watch her play games. Besides games, she and I also brought our respective instruments and play those when we’re feeling it. While learning a new song takes time and energy, mindlessly playing songs we already know is a way to not only pass the time, but to bring some music into the room. This can help to brighten it, especially when one of us messes up and starts laughing or yelling at the instrument— it’s entertaining either to watch or to play.

In our room, we have about 10 plants in pots on top of our dresser. During the first night here, we ended up moving the dresser over by the window to hang things up on the wall. We decided it was best to keep it there, since it was better light for the plants. They bring a touch of life to the room and allow us to have something to wake up to, besides each other. Even if I can’t get laundry done, or do dishes, I am able to give the plants the light and water they need without using too much of my energy on them.

The end of my night consists of doing my knee exercises, since my legs are messed up. I used to go to physical therapy for them, but I haven’t been able to since March because of the pandemic. Mikayla gets on me about doing them every day, and quite honestly, I probably wouldn’t do them if she didn’t remind me 5 times a night.

I usually have tea steeping during my exercises so it has time to get the full flavor and cool off a little bit. I try to get bits and pieces of work I need to wrap up from the day done then, but I limit myself to this: when I finish the tea, I am done with my work for the night. The empty cup tells me it is time for bed. I then brush my teeth and wash my face and have finally completed the day, ready to rest up for the next one.

So how do you take care of yourself and your space when you don’t have the energy? The answer is that sometimes you won’t be able to get it done when you want and it is okay. I take my life day by day and do the best that I can with it. Beauty is found in the little things, here. Getting something small done can give the same amount of joy and satisfaction as seeing a rainbow in the sky. Sometimes I am unable to get everything I want done, but just getting out of bed, brushing my hair, changing my shirt, or watering my plants is something to be proud of.

#blog post #dealing with depression #dealing with mental illness #mental illness #rainbow #plants #music #bed #college life #dorm #roommate #chores #depression #photo essay #pictures #day in the life

[shanisdunn]

Introductions Are The Hardest Part

You’d think with 20 years of experiencing myself, I’d be able to give a proper introduction. The truth is, I am so many things to so many different people that I’m not wholly sure who I am. You’re welcome to figure it out with me, maybe that’s why we’re both here.

My name is Shannon, but just Shan works too. I am queer, nonbinary, and addicted to caffeine. I enjoy books, plants, halloween, baking,and makeup, but there's plenty of other things I enjoy. One of my hobbies is pressing flowers to preserve their beauty. With flowers that I cannot press, I try to do other things with them. This includes drying them or making them into syrups. My favorite syrup I’ve made is lavender, but in the spring, I get enough violets growing in my yard for a couple batches of violet syrup. 

I am the parent of 3 darling cats, for whom I’d give my life. I also parent about 10 potted plants and a garden at my dad’s house. I think that I like taking care of things to remind myself that even on the days I can’t care for myself, there is love and kindness in the world.

My other pride and joy is my darling Teen Titans project, which I made in some of the digital humanities courses here. My friends and I got to nerd out and watch Teen Titans in our free time, as well as analyze certain aspects to make a super cool website. It ended up being featured on The Data Sitters Club.

I don't really know who I am, but I know that I like to have fun, and I try to find the beauty in everything I can. Though I have limitations, I'm hoping that this will help me to find out more about myself and grow as a person.

Similarly, I hope you find what you’re looking for; whatever has brought you to this point in life is leading you to find the beauty in things. I’m trying to find it, too. Maybe we can look together.