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Another Good Omens Faeries AU

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #faeries #fairies #fairy au

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it used to be 2007 you know

#my first thought was 13 #but that was in 1997 not 2007 #i was 23 in 2007

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Also hey I forgot to draw this earlier, but yesterday I saw a goth who was literally smoking like this:

Like I can't properly even recreate it because I don't draw that kind of graphic novels, but the dude had a whole Frank Miller byronic hero STANCE going on. And I don't mean this in any mean way, I genuinely love it when people are theatrical just for the sake of being dramatic, it gives life some flair and colour. Unfortunately it was a very lovely sunny spring day in the early may, so the poor fellow had to have his brooding smoke in an environment like this:

#i saw the same dude later #walking barefoot #he had a pair of (black of course) flipflops in his hand #he was like a gothic bum #his hair was hanging in front of his face #his black clothes shaggy and hanging off his frame #this was at 9.30 AM on a Saturday morning

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After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:

“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”

Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.

“Ow!”

“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”

“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”

The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.

“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”

She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.

“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”

The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.

“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.

“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”

“Technically,” Says Gretel, “It’s a murder.”

#fairy tale done different

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1930s Brooklyn: Steve has a habit of flopping into Bucky's lap wherever-whenever. Sometimes Buck gets a pointy elbow in the ribs, but he'll just grumble something and adjust accordingly until they're both comfortable.

Skip to 1940s France. Bucky's sitting around the campfire contemplating the Howlies' next move when Steve '240lb tank of solid fucking muscle' Rogers drops on top of him

#stucky #stevebucky #steve rogers #bucky barnes #1940s stucky

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"Listen," one guard said, "I know we have only just met-"

"No," the other guard said, "we've worked together for years!"

"-but you can trust me when I say-"

"I can't, you have the curse that's opposite from mine!"

"I don't care for you at all."

"Well, I… oh… I love you too."

#There's fic inspiration in here

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The sillies!! they’re athletes! they survive on cigarettes! It’s okay!!

#aftg #all for the game #nora sakavic #the foxhole court #the raven king #the king’s men #tsc #the sunshine court #andrew minyard #andreil #neil josten

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There’s fanfiction…. And then there’s FANFICTION. The kind of shit you happen upon at like 3am or some other ungodly time because you were trying to find a fix for ur fixation at the time and you are just SUCKED IN and every sentence feels like a line of cocaine and it has quotes and imagery that permeate your brain and it’s the shit that sticks around in your consciousness forever and it never goes away and it’s always going to be one of Those Fics.

#it doesn't even have to be good quality fic #sometimes you just get sucked in

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as a kid, I walked into a closet, saw an enormous snake, and then walked out. I walked up to my dad, as you do, and said "dad there's a huge snake in the closet"

so he smiled smugly, grabbed his knife (I think it was a machete?), walked off, and then I heard him scream followed shortly by three panicked slams

it turns out he didn't actually think he'd find a huge snake in there, but it sure was there, and he sure did chop it into three pieces

#it slithered in #do you sleep in the basement by chance? #i just woke up

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"So you collect ghosts?"

"Not intentionally. Ghosts are just drawn to me. I'm a ghost sponge. A ghost magnet. When I'm hired to check out a haunted house, I walk in and take all the ghosts with me when I leave. And if it turns out there's a demon the ghosts eat 'em. It's a very efficient system."

"...Say that last part again."

"The ghosts eat the demons. Like a pack of hyenas taking down a wildebeest. I've seen the ghost of a 90-year-old Ukrainian babushka tear apart a demon with her teeth."

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I feel like something I don’t see talked about very often in terms of autism is emotional regulation from the perspective of autistic people

you always hear about how hard it is for parents of autistic children but never how hard it is for the autistic individual

like yes I know getting so angry I feel like I need to scream and kick and cry because I can’t remember where I put my phone is an overreaction to the situation, but all I can feel in my entire body is anger. and maybe it’s because all day I was around people and loud noises and losing something was just the breaking point, I was already overstimulated but this is what made me feel like my entire world was falling apart.

it’s hard to understand how to regulate your own emotions when you’re autistic and overwhelmed and it’s so often this physical pain in your chest like what the fuck do I do with all that.

#autism

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clouds !

#clouds

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pov: you interrupted his slumber party with spider-man

based on this

#deadpool #wade wilson

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me and the five other people that didn’t see the northern lights are throwing a party and you’re not invited btw

#I missed out on the lights too

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just imagine rockstar! eddie releasing a new album, where one of the songs is called “a voice from above”. in it, he sings about a heavenly voice coming to him in the hardest, darkest hour of his life, when he was ready to give up and stopped seeing a future for himself, and calling him towards the light, coaxing the best out of him and pulling him up from the pit of despair eddie was slowly drowning in.

and it’s a rock ballad, so it differs quite a bit from cc’s usual style, is more “palatable” to the general public with it’s slower tempo, gentler melody and hauntingly beautiful vocals, with addition of a choir in the climax. and because of that, christians start claiming it (basically what happened with “take me to church”), newspapers and magazines wonder at eddie munson, the man a large part of whose aesthetic was so often referred to as “satanic” by the general public, with seemingly no denial from cc, who seemingly has finally found his way to religion.

and when cc comes to their next interview, the question of whether the great non-conformist eddie munson, who on multiple occasions dragged the christian church through the mud with accusations of hypocrisy and fostering bigotry in its midst in his songs and public speeches, has finally found god, inevitably comes up. the moment cc hear it they burst out laughing. after a while, eddie finally responds.

“this song is full of religious motifs, but not nearly for the same reasons you guys seem to think it is. it’s just that the experience the song is dedicated to was the closest i think i ever came to understanding what makes people come to real, genuine faith, the one that fills you with clarity, love and acceptance for the world around you, makes you feel like a part of something so much larger and greater than a mortal human being can possibly comprehend or reach on their own. that experience being the voice of the man that i came to love reaching me while i was in coma and reminding me of all the reasons life was worth fighting for, and then keeping inspiring me to be the best version of myself throughout my whole life.

and that, folks, is how being incredibly gay can save your life! i also don’t mind christians blasting “a voice from above” on their little church parties: my husband, after all, is definitely an angel on earth and absolutely deserves to be worshipped. but don’t you worry, i’m handling that pretty well on my own” and he winks at the camera.

and that’s how the world finds out that eddie munson is married.

#rockstar eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #ficlet

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incorrigible.

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maskerade (1995)

#discworld