mondeadbebe

[mondeadbebe]

reasons to strve (s/o edition)

- so he can put his hands around the curves of my waist, widen his eyes and take them off for just a second, then put them back on and squeeze and tell me, "how is your waist is so small?"

- so when im laying with my back on his chest, he can trace circles into the jut of my hipbones

- so when he hugs me, it leaves a dull ache on my ribs

- so i can always whine for his jackets and coats because im cold all the time and have him swoon at how it just swallows me up

- thigh grab 💥💥

- so he can never look at another girl cause everyone here is so... f4t

- so he always holds my hands and plays with my fingers

- SO HE CAN CARRY ME WITHOUT ANY EFFORT

[mondeadbebe]

Diary 2022/11/01

Food: 460

Exercise: -608

Net: -148

Notes:

My silly goofy foggy brain convinced itself that I had reading week, when I actually didn’t :D. I woke up later than expected and with the workout, getting ready etc I missed my class. But I managed to compensate by writing my assessment like a maniac. Also recently I’ve noticed a trend in my eating calories have been getting smaller but I haven’t been getting hungrier. I attribute this to the fact that I’ve been increasing my protein intake.

Harriet🩰

#not pro just using tags #notprojustusingthetags #ed diary #ed food log

[mondeadbebe]

Tips to reduce you appetite

As someone who naturally had a big appetite and now has to wrestle with a sandwich I think I can help. This is what worked for me:

-High volume low cal meals🥙

- Foods high in fiber🌾

-Just like a gym-bro amp your protein 🥩

-Fibre supplements 🍂

- Putting food down between bites🍴

- Pay attention to what I’m eating, no telly, no phone ect. No distractions essentially🚫🙈

-Chew slowly and savour eat bite😋

-Shallow once everything in soft (15-20 times, depends on the food)🍲

- Small plates and cutlery 🍽️🥄

- Cut food in small pieces▫️🔸

- Eat what’s on your plate, nothing more🛑✋🏼

- Before even thinking of seconds wait 30 min🕝

- Have tea, hot water or a broth before the meal🧉🍵

- Once you’re satisfied stop, don’t force feed yourself. You can always eat on your next meal if you hate wasting food😊

Remember, it takes time to rewire your brain. Be patient and consistent ♥️

Harriet🩰

#not pro just using tags #notprojustusingthetags #pro4n4 #ed problems #i need to lose so much weight #ed tips

[mondeadbebe]

Diary 2022/10/31

Food: 556

Exercise: -551

Net: 5

Notes:

Spend the day at home and tried a new barre workout, absolute killer for a beginner like me. I did go for a walk to the supermarket because my aunt needed some ice lollies for her kid. I bought matzo crackers and corn cakes. I had a look at my comfort cookie of which I ate a whole packet on a daily basis. I was curious as of the calories for the whole thing, which was over 1500. Christ idk why I did that to myself. On a brighter note I managed to have 3 meals and stay within my intake range.

Harriet🩰

#ed diary #ed food log #not pro just using tags #notprojustusingthetags

[mondeadbebe]

Reblog to put one of these in your mutuals’ pocket when they’re not looking

[mondeadbebe]

Diary 2022/10/30

Food: 416

Exercise: -412

Net: 4

Notes:

So I had my last ballet class of the term. I felt like utter rubbish on the way in. During class I did feel alright since I’m progressively getting better and it’s nice to be seeing results. After I did feel quite fine, the post workout rush I guess. I did spend the whole day at home afterwards and binged watched Pretty Tiny Things together. I had two smoothies for the first time in ages both under 100cals and they felt really nice. I’m glad that despite having low moods, I have been sticking to my intake and not bingeing—which is something I would’ve done in the past. I hope this lasts for a very, very long time.

Harriet🩰

#ed diary #ed food log #not pro just using tags #notprojustusingthetags

[mondeadbebe]

Diary 2022/10/29

Food: 512

Exercise: -159

Net: 353

Notes:

Like I’ve said last time, depression is making me its bitch. I did manage to workout and attend my Saturday class. But everything was an uphill battle. I told my mum that I’m not feeling my best at the moment, she’s very understanding and the sweetest person on Earth. I even cancelled on my friends Halloween party due my exhaustion. I spent the whole day sleeping since is the only thing I have energy for. After sleeping a few hours I got up and had a take away sandwich only to fall asleep again. In all honesty, I’m even doubting it’s depression anymore because I have been feeling so well this past few months. Maybe it’s autistic burnout or type ll bipolar or malnutrition, who knows. Perhaps even all of the above. I just want this feeling to go away

Harriet🩰

#ed diary #ed food log #not pro just using tags #notprojustusingthetags

[mondeadbebe]

Diary 2022/10/28

Food: 300

Exercise: -832

Net: -532

Notes:

I did omad unintentionally. Depression is kicking my arse big time these days so my appetite has been non existent. I have no energy either and everything feels like a chore, even breathing. I just wanna spend all day at home and do nothing. The exercise is because I went to karaoke from my friends birthday and I’m a performer so I gave it all.

Harriet🩰

[mondeadbebe]

Diary 2022/10/27

Food: 513

Exercise: -755

Net: -242

Notes:

This day I was tired constantly and couldn’t focus on anything so I a couldn’t do any on my uni work. Also my heart was doing weird shite. Hopefully it just gives out on me.

Harriet🩰

#ed diary #ed food log #not pro just using tags #notprojustusingthetags

[mondeadbebe]

Diary 2022/10/26

Food: 555

Exercise: -196

Net: 359

Notes

Exercise break day hence the low exercise. There was a meeting where they gave some nibbles. Listen y’all I’m cheap and forgot my lunch. The good this is that the sandwiches were from Pret-A-Manger so it was easy to calculate the calories. Later on a good friend of mine congratulated my weight loss. It wasn’t a “hey girl, you look great”, it was a genuine heart-to-heart congratulation. Because both of us struggle with high weights. It did feel really nice that someone noticed. But I feel guilty since I didn’t do it in a healthy way. I really don’t know how to feel.

Harriet 🩰

#ed food log #ed diary #not pro just using tags #notprojustusingthetags

[mondeadbebe]

Diary 2022/10/25

Food: 636

Exercise: -305

Net: 331

Notes

Overall my day went well but I regret my dinner so much. I made kimchi pancake (233cals). I did enjoy it at the time, but when I had to get to bed I started to dwell on it and regret every single bite.

Harriet 🩰

#ed food diary #ed food log #ed diary #not pro just using tags #notprojustusingthetags

[mondeadbebe]

Diary 2022/10/24

Food: 564

Exercise: -780

Net: -216

Notes:

It was a calm day. Since I didn’t have class, I stayed home for most of the morning. Then I went to visit a friend bcs she was ill and bought her some medicine. I got a lil lost on the way back home but hey I got some extra burned calories from it.

#ed diary #ed food diary #ed food log #not pro just using tags #notprojustusingthetags #pro4n4 #pr04ana #pro miia

[mondeadbebe]

Diary 2022/10/23

Food: 507

Exercise: -1044

Net: -537

Notes

It was an overall good day. I exercised, had my little class and ate a light lunch. The reason why I burned so much is because I went to a party my friend organised. Live music, DJ and all. Thankfully there wasn’t any food around. I danced like crazy and walked lot (my bestie and I got a bit lost). Needless to say I woke up knackered the next day.

#ed diary #ed food log #not pro just using tags #notprojustusingthetags #pr04ana #pro4n4 #4norexi4 #4norex1a #i need to lose so much weight #adult ana

[mondeadbebe]

Diary 2022/10/22

Food: 516

Exercise: -761

Net: -245

Notes

After ballet class, I went out for lunch with my mum and sister bcs of my sister bday. I didn’t go her bday lunch bcs I hate her bf wholeheartedly and can’t bear the sight of him. I choose the restaurant, with calories on display of course and unlimited drinks. Always with the zero cal stuff. Later on we went on a walk and we experienced a biblical proportions storm. I’m taking thunder, lightning, water pouring. It felt like a apocalypse. Anyways, we got soaked and get home. Mum and I had tea, watched secret eaters and then she made dinner; didn’t have any since I don’t eat unless and I know exactly the calories. I hate going to bed hungry despite what “skip dinner, wake up thinner” wants me to believe. So had an apple and went to bed.

#ed food log #adult ana #ed diary #eating dissorder #thiin #anna #anamia #not pro just using tags #notprojustusingthetags

[mondeadbebe]

Diary 2022/10/21

Food: 581

Exercise: -635

Net: -54

Notes:

Not much to add really, worked out and spent all day home

[mondeadbebe]

Diary 2022/10/20

Food: 659

Exercise: -740

Net: -81

Notes

Yesterday I had a “binge” by that I mean I lost control over my eating. It was just an apple and 2 dates. I’m not beating myself over it. Actually it reminded me how I used to eat: despite not being hungry I just ate for the sake of it. Without double checking with my body if I actually needed the food or drinking water after a meal (funny enough it was soup). I’m glad I got that lesson instead of over exercising or fasting the next day or worse an actual binge. Those things pull me further from control. Consistency against adversity is the true form of control.

PS: idk if anyone actually reads this if you do I hope it helps you on your weight loss journey. Thank you for reading.

Harriet 🩰

#ed diary #ed food log #adult ana #anerexia #anorexya #ed #fasting #anamia #anarexia #not pro just using tags #notprojustusingthetags #pro ana #eating dissorder

[mondeadbebe]

Diary 2022/10/19

Food: 521

Exercise: -59

Net: 462

Notes

Somehow I managed to have 3 meals and a snack and stay below 600, that’s a first and unintentional. I regret my lunch though it was low cal, it was high volume so it knocked me out. Given that I’m used to smaller size meals. But overall had a good day. I also had my fave ‘tism safe food.

#ed diary #ed food log #anorexya #not pro just using tags #notprojustusingthetags #4norexi4 #4nami4