lifegetslifeyasfuck

[lifegetslifeyasfuck]

Situationships: A beginning or an excuse?

Situtaionships. Urban Dictionary states “Let’s just chill, have sex, and be confused on the fact that we are not together but have official emotions for each other” Which is more or less the perfect explanation. I assume that a majority of us can resonate with this. I mean I sure the fuck can. There are two parts to this for me. I have felt used because of situationship. Feeling like I really liked this person but I was lacking something for them and I could tell they were actively looking for another person which hurt and made me feel less than. But I have also been on the other side of this were someone was lacking for me and did something to flat out annoy me. Cause it’s like sometimes they are so fucking awesome, the sex is great but then they do something like sing off beat or turn on fucking Taylor Swift or always try to one up me and then it’s like yeah this is always going to be a situationship get the fuck out of my face. I am the type of person who falls very quickly and have all these deep emotions but then I remember, I am a very picky woman and I think that’s why a lot of my encounters end up being a situationship and then they don’t last. So when the spark starts to dim and we want to be done with it but at the same time don’t want to be done with it, what happens next?

Relationships are extremely hard. Yes, knowing there is a strong connection, so much love and laughter is extremely fulfilling. However, when it comes down to it, it’s so much more than that. The hard part is communication and compromise. Neither of those things just get fixed. It is going to be a recurring battle through the entire relationship. Just typing this stresses me out. I am not only picky about what I need from someone but I am picky about the simplest things. I do not want to cuddle when it’s time for bed. Do not fucking wake me up, I will wake up when I wake up. I will wear whatever clothes I want. I have to sleep with my night light on. My pillows and blankets will be set up a certain way for bed time. My bed will be made a certain way. I will decorate. I do not want to listen to your shit music every day. I will more than likely take up the entire closet so you will have to find somewhere for your clothes. If you don’t know the words to the song then don’t try and fake it. DO NOT ever say some shit like “your animals like me better” And last, the most important, know when to use there, their and they’re. Know when to use your and you’re. 

Then there are the big things. Respect all boundaries I set, do not make me your world, make sure we are able to have separate lives at times, do not try to control me in any way, understand that my mental health has a ways to go, don’t flaunt it in my face that you have a career and I am a struggling musician. Have a true conversation with me and don’t just blow it off with an “i’m sorry”. Don’t ask me to fake being a republican or religious to appease your family. Communication is doable for me. Compromise, not so much. But at the same time, maybe I just haven’t met the person I am able to do both for. I am really basing that off the last fucker I dated. My point here is, are we lying to ourselves about what we are doing in a situationship? I know my excuses have been, "no I just want a hot girl summer", "it’s just not the right timing yet", etc. So where does that leave us?

Excuses vs. timing. There really is something to be said about it being the right person but the wrong timing and that could be for any reason. As for the excuse side of things. Are we just holding on to someone because we love them and we really don't want them to go but deep down know that there are so many differences and conflicts that at the end of the day, it's not going to work. That has been the case for me before. I have actually stayed in an official relationship that I was miserable being in because I wasn't ready to let them go. "I don't want them but I also don't want anyone else to have them" It has been so hard for me to let people go at times but once I am on the other side it feels so good to be free from a situation I thought would never end. So let's ask ourselves. Where is this going? What are my intentions? What do I want? Do I see this person in my life five years from now? Do I want them in my life five years from now?

What does your situationship mean to you?

My advice? Fuck that shit. Don't waste your time on someone or something unless you know you want them, no questions asked. If that's not the case, have sex and leave your feelings at the door.

#situationships #love #relationships #breakup #lifegetslifeyasf #naiomirose #blogs #whatamidoing

[lifegetslifeyasfuck]

Christmas: Religion vs. Tradition

Christmas. A time for gift giving, decorating your home, baking cookies, watching elf for the 500th time, an excuse to wear pajamas with cats in stockings on them, snow that is so beautiful.....until you go outside. The time of year where you can walk into most stores and it looks like Santa Claus took a shit in there. I personally, ADORE Christmas. This year, it is hard for me. I had a really rough 2021 and this year I am pretty much grieving someone no longer in my life whom shares this love of Christmas with me. I don't love this holiday because I am religious but because of the traditions. It includes everything I do whenever it's not the holidays. And yes, I watch Elf year round. But, me being me, I started thinking. Thinking about the meaning of Christmas. Not what it means for me but what it means for others. So, I hopped on what all Americans LOVE, google.

I started simple and typed in "What is Christmas about?" it stated, "Christmas is an annual festival commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ, observed primarily on December 25 as a religious and cultural celebration among billions of people around the world." I mean yes, that is where it all started. But, what about those of us who are not religious and still celebrate? I personally do not participate in organized religion. No hate. I have my own beliefs. According to a website I found, gallop, 85% of America celebrates Christmas. So a majority of us do but how many of that percentage celebrates for religious reasons? Sorry in advance for all the numbers but, I found a graph from pewrese called "Do you celebrate Christmas?" 92% of people they asked do celebrate, 7% said no and 1% sometimes. 51% celebrate it as a religious holiday and 32% said it is a cultural holiday.

So, it was time to interview my friends and family.....and random people at walmart. Summing up answers, when I asked what their favorite part of Christmas was they answered, seeing others faces when they open gifts, cooking and eating xmas dinner, spending time with family, giving, xmas movies, xmas music and baking. The general consensus of the question, what does christmas mean to you was giving to others and spending time with family.

A woman I talked with at Walmart, whom asked to remain anonymous, told me she did not celebrate Christmas as a kid because of the religion part of it. It was disheartening for her because when she would be at school all the other kids would be talking about how they were decorating their trees at home, listening to xmas music, participating in the Christmas spirit week. Going back to school after break just to hear about all the presents they got and reminder to her that she didn't get any. Although her parents robbed that from her as a child, she now celebrates with her family and has made traditions of her own with her children.

Now I only spoke with two women who celebrates Christmas as a religious holiday. One did not want to speak to much on it and the other woman, Kate, who identifies with Christianity, was very open and honest. This was a thorough conversation and one I really enjoyed having. I knew a majority of my conversations were going to be on the side of not celebrating Christmas for religious reasons. So, I want to give her the spotlight here and share our full conversation.

I first asked her "What does Christmas mean to you?" Kate - "It is about family and taking in those special moments. It is not about getting a bunch of presents. For me personally, it's a spiritual holiday. It is a time of reflection. This year my family went through a lot of trials and god carried us through everything. That time of reflection is really what Christmas is for me"

Although I do know Kate on a personal level I was pleasantly surprised by her next answer and I was a little nervous to ask, "In your opinion can Christmas only be celebrated as a religious holiday and why?" She told me "No. Many people have their own traditions for celebrating Christmas. I used to think you shouldn't celebrate if you didn't know the real meaning behind it. But as i grew up and had children I realized you get to celebrate whatever and however you want. I mean we all convince our children that there is this holly, jolly man who comes down the chimney to leave our children presents. I don't think people shouldn't be able to celebrate Christmas because they don't believe in God. I am not allowed to sit back and make that judgement on others for celebrating even if they aren't religious. It is a holiday where some people may not be religious but may look at it as a time to spend with family. However, I do disagree with the fact that people don't believe in God and don't think this holiday is to celebrate him."

If I am going to be honest, I re-read and re-read this to see where I was going with this. I don't think Christmas is really a question of being religious or not. I think it is made out to be that way by many people. I realize though, I was insecure about the fact that I love Christmas so much but I am not religious. But clearly it is not just me. I interviewed eight people and out of those two were religious and even they said they don't think you shouldn't celebrate Christmas if you're not religious. There's something to be said about having a day dedicated to traditions and family time. My bond is not with God. My bond is with my loved ones and I cherish these times and that's why I love Christmas. Also, I do love a good excuse to have a festive martini. With that being said, stay warm and have a Merry Christmas!

Drink every time you read Christmas.

(late post sorry)

#quimois #christmas #religion #spiritual #elf #holidays #naiomirose #controversy #relatable

[lifegetslifeyasfuck]

Relationships: "When you know you know"

Relationships. A topic that arouses people all across the world. I can't speak for anyone else. But for me, relationships have been nothing more than a mess. Cut off engagements, Men who were in and out of prison, and the best of them all: Coming home just to find my partners things moved out of our apartment.. The list goes on and on. For the last year I spent time reflecting on myself and I realized something. I was so pissed off at these men for leaving, that I couldn't see, I was the common denominator in all of those situations and clearly my picker was/is broken. But, is it all me? Or is there a bigger picture here?

Relationships are defined as: The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected. So all in all a relationship could be as simple as the relationship with your favorite pen. Or your favorite pair of underwear. But, how do you know it's the right one? What makes that object or person the perfect fit for you? I mean the pair of underwear someone loves may be the pair that is always the last pair left in my drawer until it's laundry day. That is what is so intriguing about relationships. It is different for everyone and there is no correct answer. I have heard "when you know, you know" my whole life. There has been quite a few times that I thought I knew. But here I am, single.

Then the question popped into my head. How the hell do people make long distance work? How do they know that this person is worth waiting for? and how did they know that they fit? I know this is a very controversial topic so, I brought it up to a few friends of mine. The general consensus was, 50/50 chance. You make it or you don't. The first three friends I asked were the ones who were actually in long distance relationships and none of them worked out. Of course I had to ask them, "in your opinion, how would one be able to make this work?" As I expected they all told me the same things, Open communication, trust, compromise, making time to see each other and clear boundaries.

None of them recommended this method of dating so the only question I had left is why? Well the obvious reasons, sex, cuddles, a shoulder to cry on, getting flowers, dates and whatever else that is no longer easily accessible. But there was one answer that stuck out to me the most "Personally, I wouldn't really be interested in being in a long distance relationship unless I really loved the person and there was a clear end in sight."

And that's just it. Everyone wants to feel comfortable, warm and sure of a relationship. Whether it is romantic or platonic. So in the romance realm: what are relationships supposed to look like? Is it supposed to be like romantic movies like when Noah and Allie see each other for the first time after years and share that epic kiss in the rain? Or is it just supposed to be comfort and making sure your life is on the path to success? Relationships are the cover to our book. I mean we will use the paperback because it gets the job done but if you had to chose, would it be the hard cover or the paperback?

I was intrigued by the topic of long distance because I cannot think of one person that I have been with that I would've trusted or willingly gave up my sex life for, just in hopes to hold that title that we all secretly crave. But, what I found out today is there really is no right answer to any of my questions. Sorry to disappoint. I am definitely the last person to give relationship advice. However, I like to believe I don't have a choice in who my person is. There are people who were destined for one another. I see so many people my age on social media who found their Noah, their prince charming so, it's possible. There is someone out there for me too. I can continue to complicate the question, "How do you know if they are the one?" or I can simply stop looking and wait to know the feeling of just knowing. At the end of the day hardback cover or paperback? As long as I get to read the book that I was meant to read, I'm good.

#naiomirose #blog post #tumblr blog #relationship #romance #random thoughts #long distance dating #when you know you know #relatable