lary-the-lizard

[lary-the-lizard]

tv shows with time travel organizations/bureaus/police/agencies/whatever should have a department with instead of a tech genius eating candy, it’s a harried seamstress or fashion designer who is like

“1450 italy? does it look like I have the time to dye you wool? nO. YOU’RE GOING TO THE 1980s”

and throws shoulder pads at the hapless time agent

#haiku bot #time travel #class matters #fashion designer #historians #history #funny

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#abortion #abortion rights #pro choice #us politics #fuck republicans #leftist #fuck the govt #our bodies

[lary-the-lizard]

i want to share with you some of my favourite graffiti from Pompeii

“Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!“ 

“Amplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this.“ 

“We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus.“

“Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.���

“On April 19th, I made bread.“

“ I have buggered men.“

“If anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girlfriend.“

“It took 640 paces to walk back and forth between here and there ten times.“

“Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!“

“Epaphra is not good at ball games.”

“Two friends were here.  While they were, they had bad service in every way from a guy named Epaphroditus.  They threw him out and spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores.“

“Secundus likes to screw boys.“

#the amount of these that are just declarations of gayness #history #pompeii #graffiti #these are the funniest

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I’m constantly torn between wanting to be impossible to hate because I’m such a genuinely kind and compassionate person and wanting bigots to hate me so much they fantasize about me dying conveniently.

#wanting to help #make the world kinder #make the world gentler #being a good person #putting in the work #making bigots sad #helping

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#returning and being like #oh yeah #that’s why I was stuck #writing #wip

[lary-the-lizard]

There is so much blood on the Bible. There are lakes of blood on the Bible. At mass, in church, people bleed out together. The carpets are too thin to soak it up, the pastors and priests gorge themselves. Children and babies lost and sacrificed for their parents souls, and across centuries and continents millions died in the name of Christianity, the Heavenly Father. The Bible lays at the bottom of oceans of blood, so tarnished and worshipped we don’t know what the holy words mean anymore.

#christanity #mental illness #religious trauma #blood both symbolic and literal #your eternal soul #queerness #afab #survivor

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Adults who are attracted to teens are so weird. Like, you want to boink this person who doesn’t know how to properly shave or keep their crotch clean? Someone that is still figuring out how to wear makeup and perfume? Someone that gets into online arguments and has all kinds of friend drama? Being a teen is fucking hard and you want to make it weirder? Do you remember how incredibly difficult it was to keep up with your body while you were a teen? And you want to go back there?? You think that’s sexy? What the hell is wrong with you???

#age gap relationship #teens doing their best #but bodies are complicated and smelly #and figuring out how YOUR body works #is a fucking nightmare #then some guy comes along is like #hey can I show you some stuff? #no I think you’ll just make it more confusing #teenage drama #plus immature adults #equals kill the adults

[lary-the-lizard]

A Little Life is like: What if victims of severe trauma were lovable the way I want them to be and their trauma violent in a way I feel is easy to validate? What if trauma victims were graceful and understood they are forever tainted and corrupted by their past so I don’t have to question their role in society or their morality? What if victims of severe trauma were worthy of my unconditional love? What if I made trauma something easy for me to understand? What if your painful story was made beautiful and edible for me? What if your painful experience was actually about me?

#a little life #fucked up shit #shut the fuck up #the voice of the privileged #say the pretty pretty words #so they think they know what it’s like #they think their crying makes them compassionate #and makes you feel safe and understood

[lary-the-lizard]

I think there’d be a lot less “crime” and many better jobs if there were more people who just sat down with someone and helped them go over all the things. Like there should guys (gender neutral) whose job is to make sure you get your needs met and help you look for work that is sustainable for you. And you shouldn’t have to pay them. Like, the mayor pays them. They should be at the library and local community centers. It’s policy that they have hard candy and hot coco mix and fidget toys. They also help you apply for financial aid and figure out how to budget. You shouldn’t have to qualify for help. You just walk up to them and be like, “Hi, I need to buy a new car and have no money” and they’re like, “Okay, let’s go to my office/the reserved library rooms, and sort this out.” And then when you sit down they’re like, “My name is Abigail and never got my drivers license. What’s your name and what city to do you live in,” and you’re like, “My name is Harold and I live in Spaingland,” then they’re like, “What do you need a car for,” and you tell them the whole situation and then they start looking up cars in your area and help you apply for insurance or whatever.

#people that help #capitalism is the worst #applying for anything #needing moral support #and learning how to survive in three dimensional chess

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(this story will continue tomorrow.)

#cute and funny #shen comix #comic #comics

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#cis people #transphobia #twitter #transphobes #the hypothetical you’re scared of #y’all are stupid #trans women are just as compassionate and good as cis women should be

[lary-the-lizard]

Reminder that it's international asexuality day eve, so don't forget to leave milk and cake slices out tonight for all your local aces

#asexual #asexuality #ace #aroace #international asexuality day #aspec #srsly tho tomorrow is important #gimme the cake

[lary-the-lizard]

At the end of almost every video essay about bigots or conservatives there is a segment focused on the people spouting all that hate and essayist is like, “Look at them, think about how sad and lonely they are, please be kind to them,” and like, yeah, because they are so angry and desperate but they’re people and they need someone to bring them home. They’re like feral street cats with lice who desperately need to be vaccinated and bathed and fed and when they calm down enough to not claw your face off, held. They need to be told they can be kind and they can be loved and it’s okay to be scared. And eventually, when they admit, “Hey, all that stuff I had been screaming felt really bad to say,” you can say back to them, “I bet, it really hurt to see you trying to beat everyone. And it was absolute bullshit and here is why.”

#leftist #mental illness #depression anxiety #capitalism is the worst #fuck the patriarchy #communism #anarchy #kill then with kindness #the bigots need a hug #feral cat analogy

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(I bring a sort of “Everyone has inherent worth regardless of their productivity” Vibe to every conversation that ableists don’t really seem to like)

#actually autistic #autism #neurodivergent #ablism #disabled #actually adhd #on the spectrum #neurodivergencies #autistic spectrum #neuropunk #fuck yeah #gently confronting capitalism #so it hurts extra hard when I punch it

[lary-the-lizard]

who can relate

#absolutely feral #and true #the animation is so good #also cute #except I can’t mask my excitement/love even to strangers #animation meme #fandoms #relatable memes