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iwearmychaoswell-blog · 6 years

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December ‘17 Until Now // Like Atomic Bomb

Liner notes are just unedited wordvomit, limited to one sentence

1. “(Don’t Worry) If There Is Hell Below, We’re All Gonna Go” — Curtis Mayfield :: All you need to know.

2. “Mirrored in Reverse” — White Denim :: A song for playground scuffles.

3. “August Twelve” — Khruangbin :: A scribbled note: “Several things happening here!!! Sunshine!”

4. “Atomic Bomb” — William Onyeabor :: Perfect, except for being five minutes too long.

5. “Botanical Roots (Remix Version)” — Black Uhuru :: Sounds better than Taylor Swift’s new album.

6. “Spike Island” — The Icarus Line :: Favorite song when I was 17…Dark fucking portent.

7. “Lord Remember Me” — Ruthie Foster :: Talk about I WAS SHOOK

8. “Doom Mantia” — Electric Wizard :: More effective than foreplay.

9. “Big World” — Cloakroom :: Only thing I know about this band is that I texted my dad “Sounds like Ryan Adams!”

10. “17” — MK :: Just feeling, no environment.

11. “Body” — Loud Luxury :: God damn, I miss drugs.

12. “Call Me Tonight” — Active Child :: Can you imagine if you made this at home on your computer you would just die of happiness at having effectively communicated an exact feeling.

13. “Inner Smile” — Texas :: Most interesting thing about this band is the (best forgotten) collaboration with Wu-Tang Clan (yeah, you read that right).

14. “Parade of Punk Rock T-Shirts” — Maritime :: Ex Promise Ring and Dismemberment Plan members become dads and conflate adult- and kid music.

15. “To Die In L.A.” — Lower Dens :: Nostalgia for Nothing

16. “I Heart L.A.” — Subtle :: One of the most important albums in my early life; sometimes these things are too potent, so potent you can barely listen in the present.

17. “Love’s Refrain” — Jefre Cantu-Ledesma :: Sounds of stratosphere on crystalline day.

18. “Video Games (Jakwob & Etherwood Remix)” — Lana Del Rey :: Sing this song to yourself, it will get rid of sea legs.

19. “Holiday on the Moon” — Love And Rockets :: Not so much underrated as underknown.

20. “Kindergarten” — Faith No More :: One too many religious experiences during Angel Dust revisitation.

21. “I’m Yours” — Prince :: All roads lead back to Prince.

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iwearmychaoswell-blog · 6 years

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October - November 2017 // The Lord Give A Load, You Got To Carry It

1. “Papa Was A Rolling Stone (Full Version)” — The Temptations :: Everyone I know, including myself, remembers The Temptations as essentially a doo-wop group, and when I first heard this compilation I lost my mind. I played it at work and though it does create a sense of being in the opening credits to a blacksploitation film for the duration of the album, it’s so fresh somehow, and I haven’t been so enthused and captivated by something that is essentially familiar.

2. “Not So Distant Drums” — Enduser :: I had heard Enduser years and years ago, probably from a CD checked out from the library or from a late night radio show — and since then I have been unable to remember the name of this very precise artist. This month it was just in my head, ‘enduserenduserenduser’ and I’m very pleased to have reacquainted myself with it.

3. “Artificial Life” — Wolf Parade :: Alienation set to a tune.

4. “Destroy 2000 Years of Culture” — Atari Teenage Riot :: It occurred to me that you don’t hear music like this anymore. It’s as if the portent of future-punk allowed us by the internet and ‘technology’ has instead become drug-influenced EDM and gorgeous, sweeping, singular texture. What ever happened to outrage?

5. “Suum Cuique” — Nails :: God gave me metal to heal me; I can almost feel new skin growing.

6. “Untitled (feat. Scar)” — Killer Mike :: One of my favorite songs of all time, but/and since we’re on the subject of God-given music, I am forever thinking of the line, “And I believe God has sustained me with rap.”

7. “Satan Is Real” — The Louvin Brothers :: <— BUT LEST WE FORGET

8. “Me And The Devil” — Soap&Skin :: It strikes me that the youthful + false sense of immortality is particularly ‘of the devil’. As we get older, frailty, softness, beauty seem much more the likely candidates to receive our awe.

9. “SAY10” — Marilyn Manson :: The one song off the new album that I like. It’s like the goth version of trap music? (And ‘trap’ has, to me, seemed to be used in place of ‘postmodern’ in all casual discourses.)

10. “Candy Mountain” — DILLY DALLY :: The sound: a specifically postmodern kind of agony. Despite the familiar instruments and arrangements, it sounds unmistakably current.

11. “All The Time” — Acetone :: Here, if dependence on streaming services has kept you from experiencing slowcore heartthrobs Acetone, there’s now just the one greatest hits album on both Spotify/Tidal.

12. “Georgia” — Phoebe Bridgers :: One of those songs that probably plays over a really sad montage in a long-running TV series and you’re like, Jesus Christ, this is embarrassing.

13. “Bambi” — Prince :: I’m sorry, I know it’s a lot of Prince lately. But this is a song about a lesbian, and don’t you think Steel Panther should cover it?

14. “Attention (Bingo Players Remix)” — Charlie Puth :: Just putting this here as a reminder to think badly of myself for listening to it.

15. “Feel It Still (Gryffin Remix)” — Portugal, The Man :: Remixes are my kryptonite. Pretty sure you can get me to like anything if you remix it.

16. “N.W.H.” — Vestron Vulture :: I feel like there is an undercurrent trying to breach the surface for years and years now, the common thread being some dark, dystopian interpretation of the 80s, which you might say was the last decade where things seemed truly carefree and conspicuously devoid of unrest (as far as pop culture goes, I mean). This blurb inadequately covers what I’m getting at.

17. “Rhum Truffles” — JUKEBOX (via La Fine Equipe) :: “Oh, they’re a French collective? Figures. I always love a French collective.” (Coworker, of La Fine Equipe.) But me? I love that chipmunk shit.

18. “Stop” — J Dilla :: Knowing that, too young and so talented, J Dilla made this album while facing certain death chokes me up every time.

19. “Condition of the Heart” — Prince :: This song is astounding. He does everything better than everyone else.

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iwearmychaoswell-blog · 7 years

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youtube

just a bunch of old dudes rocking out and you’re like why the fuck am I watching this and then Prince comes out of the shadows and it’s the best solo ever (if you can’t sit through it, just skip to 3:25).

#prince #george harrison #while my guitar gently weeps #rock and roll hall of fame #steve winwood #jeff lynne #badass

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iwearmychaoswell-blog · 7 years

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September 2017 // Time Is So Sad

1. “Outro (Baked in the Sunshine)” — Yellow Days :: Summer ended abruptly.

2. “Rushing” — Portico Quartet :: Go ahead and Google ‘instrument called a hang’.

3. “Please” — Blanck Mass :: Gospel for cyborgs.

4. “16 Psyche” — Chelsea Wolfe :: She does familiar things, but does them better.

5. “Lost Dreams” — Feist :: File under ‘oxy' playlist.

6. “Love Will Tear Us Apart” — Joy Division :: Life lessons.

7. “Keep Running” — Tei Shi :: Sad, sexy, and heavy: the trifecta.

8. “There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back (NOTD Remix)” — Shawn Mendes :: Thanks, taxi cabs. Without you, I’d never hear another pop song.

9. “Just Another Sucker (feat. Prince)” — 94 East :: This is the oldest and best math rock song I’ve ever heard. Prince dominates!

10. “Computer Blue” — Prince :: Prince was also way more goth than I ever realized.

11. “Lotus Flower” — Radiohead :: Resigned broken beautiful.

12. “C.O.D. (I’ll Deliver)” — Mtume :: Most underrated group I have ever encountered.

13. “You Should Know (feat. Busta Rhymes)” — Rapsody :: “The Pain” which is on Tidal but not Spotify is the real Rapsody jam.

14. “Decks Dark” — Radiohead :: 3:23 is when I get hooked.

15. “Shimmer” — Fuel :: 90s alternative was characterized by these weird narratives featuring: reference to narrator’s questionable mental state; female subject’s struggle with emptiness accompanied by her broad, nihilistic sentiment; fragmented imagery meant to evoke a happier, brighter scene (the past? a possibility?); final declaration of uncrossable distance. Other examples: Matchbox Twenty, Goo Goo Dolls, Vertical Horizon, Train, Pearl Jam, Counting Crows, Everclear…

16. “Corduroy (Live)” — Pearl Jam :: For whatever reason, Pearl Jam is the only grunge act that doesn’t depress.

17. “Follow” — DIIV :: And autumn descended, intoxicating.

(18. “I Wanna Be Adored” — The Stone Roses :: I ring in every autumn with this song; this song IS the sound of the leaves changing to me.)

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iwearmychaoswell-blog · 7 years

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August 2017 // Modern Rage & Feeling Better About Misery

1. “Shortline (Thomas Jack Remix) — RY X :: Nice little portrait of intimacy. I didn’t know the words until after repeating the song twenty or so times, but it gave me that… that feeling of marbles in my mouth, that feeling akin-to-but-not-quite grief that hits the moment after any kind of climax. Like a black hole of feeling.

2. “Make Me Yours” — Bettye Swann :: Sometimes I would swear I could be sustained on music like this. If only.

3. “Tomboy” — Princess Nokia :: I have THE fattest girlcrush on Princess Nokia. WHO DAT IS, HO.

4. “No Love” — Death Grips :: This is the Violence. This is modern rage. Sorely needed this month.

5. “Twisted Transistor” — Korn :: Had an evening of ‘remember numetal?’ this month and while I did remember Korn, I was way too into Manson and the more self-serious stuff like Deftones to have ever loved Korn and Slipknot and stuff. Pity. This is fun as fuck, and compared to Death Grips this is downright friendly.

6. “Standing In The Way Of Control” — Gossip :: Aww, jeeze, I’m so glad this song exists. Good clean medicine.

7. “I’m Straight” — The Modern Lovers :: I usually fucking hate this kind of shit, referring it to it universally as sounding like a limp dick in socks (other culprits: Violent Femmes, Beat Happening, Thom Yorke), but this song has been pumped into the air around my ears against my wishes enough times over the last few weeks that I concede that it is very funny. But that’s all I can concede.

8. “You Going’ Miss Your Candyman” — Terry Callier :: Incredibly good. Has something about it that makes me feel better about misery.

9. “Black Night, Golden Circus” — Strawberry Girls :: Picture: the sky filled with ash, rendering the sunlight orange and flat, pronate on the lawn and hugging the very curvature of the globe, the quick fingering of this album somehow in exact concert with the madness around you — the unknowable algorithms of insect movement, the eddies of wind, the shivering blades of grass, the jazz tempo of human chatter, the distant but constant + parallel city and water sounds… it was a third eye glitch.

10. “Kamelemba” — Oumou Sangaré :: The opposite of the Violence.

11. “Come Meh Way” — Sudan Archives :: This little EP out of nowhere has been compelling enough for me to play several times all the way through. Very curious.

12. “Questions” — Chris Brown :: Practically a mashup/cover of dancehall-ish Kevin Lyttle’s “Turn Me On” and Gyptian’s “Hold You” and also a little rapey.

13. “Needed Me (Recorded at Spotify Studios NYC)” — Lewis Del Mar :: One of my friends has, very astutely, come to know exactly which songs to send me. She’s like, “you always like really fucked up cover songs,” which I so appreciate that she took the time to notice. I do love this.

14. “The Eraser” — Christian Scott :: (Thom Yorke cover) Effective.

15. “Swimming With The Crocodiles” — The Veils :: A busser at my work played these guys for me (apparently one of their tracks was produced by El-P) and I love it and cannot believe I had never heard of them. Comes to mind: Nick Cave, Leonard Cohen, Interpol, iceage, Editors, Mark Lanegan. Aforementioned busser also admitted, though, that for the longest time he didn’t buy into The Veils because the lead singer “always wears this ridiculous wide-brimmed hat,” which, I have to agree, is a bit much, especially because he is wearing it in almost every single promo picture.

16. “Life Is But A Dream” — Genders :: One of those songs that feel like swimming in a mirror lake, delicate floral patterns from childhood walls, the perfect autumnal feeling of being chilled and cozy all at once. Also, the vague melancholy that is the cornerstone of living.

17. “Rise” — Doves :: I always end of Shazamming Doves’ songs and vowing to really get acquainted with them, but I have yet to follow through. I feel like this is the Britpop I should have been started on rather than Oasis.

18. “Caves (Samuraii Remix)” — Haux :: For fans of Fakear plus James Blake, I would wager. I like a lot of it on first hearing. Putting here as reminder.

19. “Prayers for Rain” — The Cure :: Sometimes an album is so dear to you that you have to remove it from your life for a good long time so that it can retain its potency, so that you do not build up a tolerance or ingratitude for it. Disintegration is one such album. I was playing it for someone who had never heard it and it had been so long, I realized, and it felt almost like the first time again.

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iwearmychaoswell-blog · 7 years

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July 2017 // Savage (or: I Sincerely Want to Fuck The Taste Out of Your Mouth)

1. “36 Oz (feat. Chris Brown)” — Skeme :: I mob around town playing this on repeat as if it speaks to any reality I’ve ever known. It’s been my ‘melancholy jam’ of the month and I feel like it’s the grossest act of misinterpretation and appropriation I’ve ever perpetrated. I think I sold someone a Vicodin once for seven dollars.

2. “Maybe (Fred V & Grafix Remix)” — Carmada :: I should just officially and finally establish that drum & bass is, against all my wishes, the key that activates all my deepest grey matter. Often jazz, sometimes hardcore, and sometimes metal. But reliably? DNB. Fuck.

3. “Baby Don’t Go” — Andre Cymone :: Oh, this? Just lubing up for a month of binging on Prince like I’ve never heard him before. Also: DOODLEY DOOO.

4. “Bush Beat” — Prince Charles & The City Band :: Made with the preloaded sounds on that keyboard you had in the basement when you were nine. Not hating on it, though.

5. “I Used To Love Him (feat. Mary J. Blige)” — Ms. Lauryn Hill :: Friendly reminder, ladies and gentlemen.

6. “How Come You Don’t Call Me” — Alicia Keys :: I don’t usually love this kind of music but damn sometimes you just feel this.

7. “Nice Day to Go to The Pub” — Cosmic Psychos :: The audio equivalent of two crushed tallboy cans and a double shot of well whiskey and smoking indoors.

8. “Wild And Loose” — The Time :: Wake up faster, more energized by making your alarm this song.

9. “Nomads (feat. The Weeknd)” — Ricky Hil :: This is one of the most depressing songs I’ve ever heard. The Weeknd is The Coldest Motherfucker. Can not tear myself away somehow.

10. “Do You Need The Service?” — Tubeway Army :: Yes.

11. “C’mon Wit Da Git Down” — Artifacts :: Another song that pairs well with basketball sounds and hot asphalt.

12. “Big Shot” — Pearls :: Actually from a month or so ago, but it stayed on repeat a whole day. Interesting album. Putting here as more of a reminder for myself. Can’t quite put my finger on them.

13. “Juicy Fruit” — Mtume :: It’s really strange that this song gives me chills like it’s laden with some profound truth. I don’t even know.

14. “Machine” — The Horrors :: Whatever The Horrors do, I hear it through a pane of cold wet glass.

15. “I Wanna Be Your Lover” — Prince :: Look at the album cover, though. Look at him. Take it in.

16. “You Got Me (feat. BLU J & Cara Frew)” — SNBRN :: All the air getting knocked out of you in slow motion and on repeat.

17. “In The Wee Small Hours of the Morning” — Frank Sinatra :: I spent an afternoon listening to Frank Sinatra and it made me so happy at first, and then really damn depressed after about 45 minutes. I was really surprised.

18. “American Girl” — Bonnie McKee :: I was in Iowa for a week. But it didn’t really sound this way to me. This song paints a dark fucking picture: “I was raised by a television, every day is a competition. I’m taking over!”

19. “Fantasy” — Eternity Forever :: Millennial cruise ship music.

20. “Needed Me (R3hab Remix)” — Rihanna :: What a babe.

21. “Marilyn (Palms Trax Remix Radio Edit)” — Mount Kimbie :: Spiritual successor to Telefon Tel Aviv’s “The Birds”.

22. “Ordinary Life” — The Weeknd :: Ode to Road Head. Real talk, though: The Weekend is relapse music.

23. “Let’s Pretend We’re Married” — Prince :: The best line ever recorded right here in this song, also our working title that I just ran with.

24. “Firefly (feat. NAO)” — Mura Masa :: The phenomenon I’ve observed with Mura Masa and people who like Mura Masa is fascinating and I need to investigate further.

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iwearmychaoswell-blog · 7 years

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May - June ‘17 // You Got Light

1. “This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody)” — Talking Heads :: Somehow both so of it’s time and so timeless. I find much of Talking Heads music to be this way, but the fact of it is weirder to me now that I’m older. I think it has something to do with David Byrne’s voice — it’s anonymous, like a stock character. I don’t usually do playlists with sonic flow in mind, but this one lent itself to it. Even though most of the following is, um, intense, I’m actually happy.

2. “Sea Legs” — The Shins :: I neither listened nor cared to listen to The Shins. Heard this song in a bar late at night while I was bridging the gap between one life and another and it was per-fec-tion.

3. “Paperhouse” — CAN :: Dipped my toe into CAN last month and I’m like… I’m like shit I gotta make SPACE for this band if I’m going to dive into it. You need a goddamn curriculum to wrap your head around the influence of this band.

4. “Pendulum In A Peasant Dress” — At The Drive-In :: Compared to earlier ATDI, sure, it’s disappointing, but compared to music heavily inspired by ATDI that isn’t ATDI, it’s pretty palatable. His voice got way more Jello Biafra, though.

5. “Nothing” — Drenge :: Reposted from earlier playlist, but really, this song is like my fucking Pervert’s Anthem. My masochism is so much bigger + deeper than that 50 Shades child’s play shit, and this song puts images in my head that make me sigh with relief, like some fucked up spiritual bloodletting. Like worshipping at the altar. It’s such a simple, nothing of a song, but it’s explicitness is of great comfort to me.

6. “Efilnikufesin (N.F.L.)” — Anthrax :: NICE FUCKING LIFE, bro. Thrash metal has been totally absorbed into pop music and culture. Weird.

7. “Yekteniya I” — Batushka :: Ghost B.C. + More Metal.

8. “Blood In The River” — Zeal & Ardor :: The most exciting thing I have heard in AGES. Pseudo-spirituals, singing the praises of the Devil in a way wholly more compelling than any black metal I have ever heard.

9. “Devil Is Fine” — Zeal & Ardor :: When first I heard it, literally in my Sunday best, it felt like I fell through the earth.

10. “Spiritual” — Bror Gunnar Jansson :: Death-obsessed, with a power like a preacher, his face some permutation of the devil’s, a degree of restraint employed only by the damned.

11. “Fuck It Up” — Dream City Film Club :: Hey! Don’t forget: Fuck It Up.

12. “Star Dream Girl” — David Lynch :: Like, perhaps predictably: Gary Numan, Michael J Sheehy, Nick Cave, and Massive Attack. Totally tickled.

13. “The Church Bell’s Tone“ — Bror Gunnar Jansson :: Also, like a deeply haunted Black Keys or Jack White.

14. “It’s Up to You Now” — The Black Keys :: Walked into an establishment and this was playing and it felt like the universe was dumping some wisdom on me.

15. “Volatile Times” — IAMX :: The Augusten Burroughs of music.

16. “Risingson” — Massive Attack :: What can I say that has’t been said before. They are not overrated. They are giants.

17. “Girl I Love You” — Massive Attack :: Fuck. Me. I cannot stop listening to Massive Attack. It soothes me and thrills me and speaks truth to me all at once. It was this song that made me realize that I need good audio equipment.

18. “Days Go By (Radio Edit)” — Dirty Vegas :: Fun fact: First song I ever played the first time I ever drove with a valid license.

19. “Magnets (A-Trak Remix)(feat. Lorde)” — Disclosure :: Been there.

20. “I Need You More” — ATTLAS :: Electronic runoff.

21. “Trap Queen” — Will Gittens & Enzo Bennet :: I was looking up the original to use in an argument (about what I now have no idea) and instead of anything useful gleaned, I just fell into a hole. Listened to it more than is appropriate. Here is a weird but oddly good remix instead.

22. “Working For It (Nomero Remix)(feat. Skrillex, THEY.)” — ZHU :: Collateral ear damage from last playlist’s ZHU song.

23. “What’s Luv? (feat. Ja Rule & Ashanti)” — Fat Joe :: Here’s the whole crew from 95.5 The Beat! radio the summer of my 6th grade year. I thought this was the shit at the time, and now it sounds like… really like shit, you guys. Compare this to 2001 from Dre that came out two years earlier and it does not sound like it could have come from the same technological era. Good times, though.

24. “XXX. FEAT U2.” — Kendrick Lamar :: I like Kendrick Lamar more than Tool. There I said it. I am a new woman.

25. “DNA.” — Kendrick Lamar :: Like GKMC, this album will not release its grip on me. Headphones on, fingers type K-E-N, select, float.

26. “A Ti Te da Besitos” — Cartel de Santa :: I walked into the kitchen at work and felt instantly high. That raw side chain compression tho.

27. “FML” — Kanye West :: Poor Kanye. He seems so sad, you guys.

28. “Nikes” — Frank Ocean :: I know I posted this when it came out, but recently I have listened to it on repeat for an entire weekend. Something about it… it gutted me. ***.

29. “Mediterranean Sundance / Rio Ancho (Live)” — Al Di Meola, John McLaughlin, Paco de Lucia :: “Flamenco can be broken up into two parts — the era before Paco de Lucia, and the era after Paco de Lucia.” SHREDDING.

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iwearmychaoswell-blog · 7 years

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Mar-Apr 2017 // A Prayer, Multiplied

1. “Faded (Odesza Remix)” — ZHU :: I used to drive 100 MPH at midnight, all four windows down, headlights off, eyes closed, just to know that feeling. Electric and empty.

2, “Don’t Bring Me Coffee” — All Them Witches :: Except, sadly, most likely, somebody will tell you how to run your town and you will get a seventeenth full-service Starbucks on your block… and on top of that the cost of living is now so high you have to leave your town.

3. “The Quiet” — Chelou :: I use the word ‘narcotic’ as shorthand for what music like this makes me feel, but it’s really always something like this: the best, small, transient, physical, overlooked indulgences — walking into perfect cool weather from the temperature controlled indoors, clean sheets, light through water, hunger pangs; those moments of pure and present pleasure.

4. “Life In Advance” — Agent Side Grinder :: This shit is always oddly timeless...

5. “Nervous Hands” — Ritual Howls :: One time in high school, instead of turning in a five part Jane Schafer essay on The Great Gatsby, I just turned in a playlist with liner notes just like this, but made to accompany the book. I got an A. Lately I’ve been thinking this might be an entertaining exercise to do for other books… um, particularly Batman comics? I feel like this breed of shoegazey gothy darkwave would really add emotional depth to the otherwise sort of overwrought grimness of Bruce Wayne’s story while still fitting the theme. I know this is weird as hell, but I think this kind of a soundtrack would add a much needed levity to Batman storylines.

6. “Girls Like (feat. Zara Larsson)” — Tinie Tempah :: Charming, funny. Reminds me of really impressive basketball moves, also.

7. “A Portrait Of” — Sorority Noise :: 2 cute 4 me, but like candy, and cannot deny that it does resonate somewhere. When I was younger, this may have seemed poignant in that it reflected what I thought was my own certain doom/failure, but now it’s poignant to me because I have eclipsed the age where I think my doom/failure is novel.

8. “Currency” — The Black Angels :: Looking back, I found my first inklings of God in the bass line. That purr: a prayer, multiplied.

9. “Estampes: I. Pagodes. Modérément Animé” — Claude Debussy (Alain Planes) :: Listening to Debussy to sleep, but woke full up upon hearing this.

10. “Touch Down (feat. Stefflon Don)” — KSI :: Found when diving into afrobeats and bashment hole. (Not particularly representative of either genre, FYI.) That intro is ominous and rowdy as fuck — it would be a great walk-up song for an MMA fighter.

11. “Losing My Religion” — R.E.M. :: This song cut me way deep, way too young. I think it was a good thing — to learn for the first time, at an early age, that some things are futile, and that there is an uncrossable distance between people.

12. “Bad Blood” — NAO :: Finally, a use for the description “plush.”

13. “Acoustic Levitation” — Devin The Dude :: I don’t presume many people share this opinion, but I think DTD has one of the most hypnotic voices in music. Also, I can guarantee that all his material meant to be heard in tandem with Indica consumption.

14. “GOD.” — Kendrick Lamar :: Kendrick Lamar achieves so much and makes it seem so effortless.

15. “Electric Feel” — MGMT :: I want you to take a minute and realize that this song will be played for decades and decades to come and you will play it for your children and when you hear it you will feel like a young man again and you will remember pleasure you could not have known to savor at the time and it will feel like dim sunlight on your shoulders.

16. “Gold” — Kiiara :: Chopped and screwed and gnashed and ripped and imparts very little emotion but play it on repeat anyway thanks.

17. “Numb” — Mere Women :: Distortion, distortion, the way to my heart.

18. “Minor Fantasy” — Chilly Gonzales :: My go-to of this genre. There’s a part, from 1:12 that to me sounds exactly like mournful blues vocals. The whole thing is a mimesis of singing.

19. “I’m On My Way (Live)” — Mahalia Jackson :: Glory, hallelujah.

20. “On My Fingers” — Iceage :: I was listening to this album the first time I truly felt hatred for this city.

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iwearmychaoswell-blog · 7 years

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Last Six Months // Are You Ready, Player One?

Been low, haven’t posted. Posting now for the sake of momentum. This is a garbage bag of songs collected in the last few months.

1. “Enfilade” — At The Drive-In :: Sanctuary.

2. “Nervous Breakdown” — Minor Threat :: What hormonal birth control feels like.

3 “Farewell Transmission” — Songs: Ohia :: With synesthetic clarity: the air of dust of Burke-Gilman in early autumn.

4. “The Shit Sisters” — These Arms Have Snakes :: I believe hardcore to be the expressions of the deeply empathetic.

5. “Redbone” — Childish Gambino :: And just like that, Childish Gambino back on the table.

6. “Find Me” — Kings of Leon :: Of reluctant mystics.

7. “Get Good (Infinitefreefall Remix)” — St. South :: Sends electric shocks of every blissful morning I have ever had in bed: sun rays on bedsheets, time irrelevant, window wide open.

8. “Low” — Cracker :: Because inside, I still feel like a junkie fuck-up.

9. “Pusher Man” — Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats :: My dad almost liked this.

10. “Gouge Away” — The Promise Ring :: This song was begging to be covered by this band; perfect mates.

11. “Welcome to Planet X (We’re Coming For You) (feat. Eminem & the Observer) — KXNG Crooked :: This entire album is a dystopian future rock opera.

12. “Tell Your Friends About It” — The Weeknd :: I could write a fucking THESIS on this song.

13. “Let’s Take a Trip Together” — Morphine :: Kicking myself for not loving them when I heard them for the first time.

14. “Hurricane” — Luke Combs :: Country music is completely the same, always, and I find that to be extremely comforting.

15. “Electric Echo (feat. GUNSHIP)” — Metrik :: Title track.

16. “Carmen, Act I: No.5 Habanera” — Angela Gheorghiu :: Play opera and you will feel like you are doing important, creative work, even if you’re playing Candy Crush on your iPhone.

17. “Stars Shine Brightest (In The Dark)” — Cunninlynguists :: A rap Get Well Soon! card

18. “Lemonworld” — The National :: Every mental music video to every single song by The National is set at dusk in my old haunts in San Francisco.

19. “Nikes” — Frank Ocean :: Instant downshift.

20. “Frankie” — Soft Kill :: New album delivers truly depressive vibes as hoped.

21. “Prodigal Son” — Rationale :: SOHN + Active Child + Antony

22. “Who’s Gonna (NOBODY)” — Chris Brown :: This song elevated my understanding of an entire subgenre of music.

23. “Shape of You (Galantis Remix)” — Ed Sheeran :: Someone come and remix this until it’s unrecognizable — I fucking love that shit.

24. “Open Page (feat. Riya)” — Lenzman :: “Chill Drum & Bass” or whatever

25. “Love Me (Crissy Criss Remix)” — WiDE AWAKE :: DNB : ADHD :: Adderall : ADHD

26. “Getaway (Koven Remix)” — Tritonal :: Piano chords in electronic music is how you know it’s soulful.

27. “Never Stop” — DC Breaks :: Real talk, DNB is a cold plunge into sunshine.

28. “The Buzz (feat. Big K.R.I.T., Mataya, & Young Tapz)” — Hermitude :: I assume I came across this as one comes across a cold virus.

#junkie #hermitude #dcbreaks #tritonal #rationale #softkill #nikes #thenational #areyoureadyplayerone #cracker #dnb #atthedrivein #thesearmsaresnakes #thesearmsaresnacks #uncleacid #kxngcrooked #stsouth #hardcore #thepromisering

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June - July 2016 // Sounds Like Shapes

1. “In July Focus” — Letherette :: Titles that don’t entirely make sense have for some reason always been very attractive to me. It has been July as fuck up in here, tho.

2. “Door” — Nice As Fuck :: This is Jenny Lewis’ new band and when they played on the TV recently all I could do is shout, “Good for you Jenny Lewis! Good for you. You deserve it,” from a half slumber. I will refrain from commenting on the performance because it would be a long, long rant full of ten dollar words I can’t afford and my opinion is of colossal irrelevance.

3. “Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft (The Recognized Anthem of World Contact Day)” — Carpenters :: Jenny Lewis chose to disregard this confusing part of the seventies in favor of just a few superficial motifs (fatigues, peace signs)… For which perhaps we can be grateful. But this is awesome, and would probably be interesting to have on while you are having sex. If anyone tries it, let me know what your experience was like.

4. “Some of My Best Friends Are the Blues” — Shirley Horn :: I must be the worst kind of hipster for enjoying this entire album. No, I did not grow up with this. I just looked for it and found it. People like me appear to be interesting but are actually just toxically curious about everything and as a result, empty inside.

5. “Tough Guy” — Wild Beasts :: Ugh, yes, YES!

6. “Hyperlips” — Com Truise :: It’s like modern art. Yeah, maybe you could do this, but you didn’t.

7. “Pre” — Rival Consoles :: I think I so predictably like this type of thing because this is basically the white noise of my brain. It’s all as close to quiet as I can get, as if I am always tuning a radio, searching for a frequency that matches the underlying rhythm in my head. It makes thoughts clearer to hear this sort of music. If metal and grind and growling bass make my heart thump perfectly, vast electronic noise makes my head work perfectly.

8. “Ankara” — Fakear :: This song sounds like the shapes of my doodles. Perfect curves and not much else.

9. “I Took A Pill In Ibiza (Seeb Remix)” — Mike Posner :: Thank goodness for cab rides because otherwise I doubt I’d hear a single pop song these days.

10. “Life Or Just Living” — Caveman :: Aggressively palatable as always, and this album is the summer to the self-titled’s winter.

11. “Slide” — Ani Difranco :: This song gives me goosebumps a record number of times.

12. “Slide” — A Place To Bury Strangers :: Fate, lostness, physics.

13. “Sane” — Fear of Men :: ***

14. “Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence” — Ryuichi Sakamoto :: You can hear the shifting of the pedals so clearly in this recording! (With the right headphones or stereo… earbuds don’t capture it as well.) That sound is so warm and so familiar. One of my very favorite sounds.

15. “Virginia Avenue” — Tom Waits :: Fits like a glove.

#tom waits #ryuichi sakamoto #fear of men #a place to bury strangers #ani difranco #caveman #mike posner #fakear #rival consoles #letherette #shirley horn #synesthesia #carpenters #aliens #jenny lewis #nice as fuck #fate #lostness #phsyics

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MAY 2016 // Intentionally Left Blank

Unedited liner notes again due to no time.

1. “Feeling Good” — Nina Simone :: Is this the most sampled song of all time or what? Cannot escape it. Love it.

2. “Lessons” — Fakear :: Releasing a track every month or so… Gradually Fakear has entered the territory that Burial did, as just this backdrop of sound and feeling that exactly matched me. Synesthesia at it’s most eerie.

3. “Oh Bondage, Up Yours!” — X-Ray Spex :: I’ve known about XRS for some time now, but I imagine that there are a multitude of young people who would like to know this song. I feel, though am likely incorrect, that XRS occupies a particularly out of the way place in history and genre, in that it represents a sound and time that is preceded and succeeded by much more significant trends.

4. “The Reflecting God (Live)” — Marilyn Manson :: Over a decade of loving Manson and this still sends shivers up my spine.

5. “I Don’t Get Tired (#IDGT)(feat. August Alsina)” — Kevin Gates :: #IG6J

6. “Wild Things (Young Bombs Remix) (feat. G-Eazy)” — Alessia Cara :: Possible American Lorde. Vaguely related: There was also (quite deliberately) an American David Bowie called Jobriath.

7. “Till The End” — Logic :: Gang vocals do it to me every time. I haven’t really noticed the name of this song (despite playing it on repeat) and it is striking me as making very little sense. In fact I don’t think I’ve noticed anything but the gang vocals and than cute line about the girl on the floor playing Connect Four.

8. “Papa Was A Rolling Stone” — The Pioneers :: Everyone knows that on Saturday mornings you listen to Positive Vibrations with Kid Hops on KEXP… and then kick yourself for not getting out of bed early enough to really glean all the benefits of a day eased into with reggae.

9. “Tactics (Tom Tukker Remix)” — CUT_ :: For other people who become obsessed with “Operation” by ASTR.

10. “Love Interruption” — Jack White :: I go back and forth about the meaning of this song, exactly… But damn it’s a good song.

11. “Sutphin Boulevard” — Blood Orange :: Twin Shadow, Southern Hemisphere Edition. Great bar vibes, this album only.

12. “Buddy Holly” — Richard Cheese :: I like to play around when I sing, and turning rock and roll into lounge standards is an enduring game. Richard Cheese ONLY does that. I have no idea what the dead air at the end of the track is about.

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April 2016 // Are You Punk Enough To Be Vulnerable With Me?

1. “Reminder“ — Moderat :: Every song on this album starts out really sparse and then builds and builds and keeps building when you think it can’t anymore. It’s so heavy. It’s sort of like SOHN and Burial mixed together.

2. “Visible Cow” — Barkmarket :: I am furious with everyone I know who didn’t share this band with me. It’s as if Patton, Keenan, Reznor, McKay, and Homme collaborated right before they each hit it big. Jesus Christ. This is as strange and unique to me as Silversun Pickups. Where the fuck did a band that sounds like this come from?

3. “Good To Be Back Home” — Charles Bradley :: He is obviously and obscenely awesome. It’s so fucking good every time I hear it I have to voice my amazement, even if I’m alone.

4. “Anthonio” — Annie :: Heard this on The Guest, which is a better than average thriller movie and has an awesome soundtrack. The song is given credence by its role in the movie, similarly to Kavinsky’s “Nightcall” in Drive.

5. “That’s When I Reach For My Revolver” — Mission of Burma :: One of the best songs of all time.

6. “New Day” — Jay-Z & Kanye West :: Reverse Biggie, as haunting and wistful to me as “Juicy” is now.

7. “In Bloom” — Sturgill Simpson :: If I found out Sturgill Simpson had some horrible social defect, I would be devastated. Like if I found out he was a member of the Tea Party. Or a Scientologist. Or did a duet with Sheryl Crow.

8. “Planet Telex” — Radiohead :: I like that part where it’s lofted and hanging in the air before plummeting. At least that’s the synesthetic experience I get from it, and is why I like it so much. 00:38 − 00:45.

9. “I Believe” — Simian Mobile Disco :: I was really into this song my senior year of high school. Just keeps coming round again. If I make it to 00:42 in the song, I listen to it twice. Love that part.

10. “Say It Ain’t So” — Weezer :: Being a big Weezer fan says to me: “Are you punk enough to be vulnerable with me?”

11. “West Coast (The Young Professionals Minimal Remix)” — Lana Del Rey :: Yeah, this song is definitely about alcohol.

12. “Racehorse: Get Married!” — Jordaan Mason & The Horse Museum :: I’ve known this album for many years now, but this song has been pestering me again lately. It’s a really graphic song about fucking, and it’s, flatly, pretty ugly, but it just twists me up inside somehow unspeakably. It’s so sad and so funny at the same time. Ugh, humanness.

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MARCH 2016 // Some Way to Come Down

1. “Stay (Originally Performed by Rihanna)” — Low :: Fuck. Yes. I love this song, I love Low, I love Rihanna, and I love covers.

2. “Nothing” — Drenge :: This album is like road rash and it feels so good.

3. “Nights” — Totally Mild :: This band has unexpectedly captured me. I keep calling it ‘surf noir’ in my head but that may not make sense to anyone else.

4. “Fresh Blood” — Eels :: I really got into Eels this month, and I don’t know why I hadn’t earlier. They’re swell.

5. “Fall In Time” — Teleman :: Is that a Shepard Tone though?

6. “untitled 02 | 06.23.2014” — Kendrick Lamar :: His music sometimes makes me feel physically ill. It’s impressive.

7. “Ceremony” — New Order :: This song is the sun washing over you.

8. “How To Handle A Rope - A Lesson In The Lariat” — Queens of the Stone Age :: QOTSA: Always there to remind me that ‘Masochist’ is my middle name.

9. “Hurtin’ (On the Bottle)” — Margo Price :: The female Sturgill Simpson. I anticipate adoring her. The whole album is very good and very good humored.

10. “Chinatown” — Wild Nothing :: The way to come down.

11. “Xtal” — Aphex Twin :: Aphex Twin was my source of comfort this month.

#aphextwin #wildnothing #margoprice #sturgillsimpson #neworder #kendricklamar #eels #low #rihanna #teleman #shepard tone #drenge #totallymild #surfnoir #coversongs

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February 2016 // Shape-Shifter

This month: Two word appraisals due to busyness.

1. “I Catch You Napping” — Pinkshinyultrablast :: Heavy Joy.

2. “No Weaknesses” — The Dirty Nil :: Suburban Ire.

3. “Wolf” — First Aid Kit :: Ghost Dance.

4. “Dusseldorf” — Teleman :: Euro Crush.

5. “Construction” — Radiation City :: Marsh Ballad.

6. “Way Down We Go” — Kaleo :: Icelandic Hozier?

7. “Never Going Back” — Caveman :: Hit Pavement.

8. “LeechWife” — Rasputina :: Cello Witch.

9. “Juliet of the Spirits” — The B52’s :: So Earnest.

10. “It’s Indian Tobacco My Friend” — Cornershop :: Try It.

11. “Bloodstream” — Ed Sheeran :: Re: Addiction.

12. “Come Down” — Anderson .Paak :: Kendrick, Jackson.

13. “White Privilege II (feat. Jamila Woods)” — Macklemore & Ryan Lewis :: Top Cut.

14. “Castrati Stack” — Tim Hecker :: New Noise.

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January ’15 // It’s A Damned Fine Game And We Can Play All Night

1. “Theme From ‘The Conversation’” — David Shire :: Here’s a reference surely only I will understand: This soundtrack is the musical equivalent / spiritual accompaniment to MoMA New York’s publication Pleasures and Terrors of Domestic Comfort — a coffee table book of a photography exhibit. It was in my house growing up and I just pored over it; somehow it has shaped me in untold ways. I own it now and if my apartment were on fire, I would hope to grab it in time to save it from the flames. A quick Google image search will yield results, but perhaps this association is so warped that this liner note will never make sense.

2. “Breaker 1” — Interpol :: From the 2014 release that everyone was disappointed by. I became obsessed with it this month. I listened to the album all the way through dozens and dozens of times, practically holding my breath. I have no compelling reason for this; it ensnared me. This song is the evil twin of “Wolf Like Me” and “Staring at the Sun” by TV on the Radio. ***

3. “Under the Oak“ — Candlemass :: I had a few moments of displeasure this month when no music sounded good to me at all. Somehow I settled on Candlemass. I am not a metal snob at all — on the contrary, I unpopularly feel that almost all metal has virtue. I just love the stuff. I never went through a ‘Candlemass phase’ and it struck me how amateurish this sounded. Again, I really like it, but it just seemed sort of… trite. Not in a boring way, but in the same way that Alice Cooper sounds trite to me. I could lip sync all of Marilyn Manson by the time I was thirteen. By the time I gave Alice Cooper a second glance I was too far into the music he essentially grandfathered to appreciate how worthy he was in his own right. It just wasn’t heavy enough for me. And so is Candlemass to Pallbearer, Ahab, or My Dying Bride.

4. “Public Image” — Public Image Ltd. :: Coming down from Candlemass.

5. “Pink Frost” — The Chills :: Coming down from Public Image Ltd. (but not lyrically, I later realized).

6. “On Purpose (feat. Pitbull & 40 Cobras)” — Dougie F :: Harsh toke, but I like the beat that isn’t in any way compelling. About as bummed out as the sentiment. And then Pitbull comes in and does exactly what Pitbull always done and there’s even a “WhoooooOOOO!” that is ALWAYS in his songs.

7. “Missile” — Dorothy :: Whatever, this Dorothy shit is like shots of well whiskey, which is to say an ultimately terrible idea but oh such a good burn in the moment. Release an album already.

8. “Parachute” — Chris Stapleton :: (Speaking of whiskey…) He’s no Sturgill Simpson, but damn near close. I like him. Got pipes.

9. “Meticulous Invagination” — Aborted :: I’m telling you, put some of this silly shit on and you will finish your taxes in one sitting. I can’t explain how it works but death metal is a procrastination axe murderer.

10. “The Slumbering Ones” — Assemble Head in Sunburst Sound :: Washed out Dead Meadow.

11. “Dangerous Power” — Gabriel & Dresden :: In high school, while publicly going through dirt rock, grindcore, and industrial phases, I was privately also listening to San Francisco’s own gay electronic station (it really was run by and geared toward the gay male demographic) which played house music around the clock. I spiraled completely out of control and bought import singles from groups like 4 Strings and iiO and Andain. It is interesting to note that I didn’t go to clubs, and I definitely didn’t do mind altering substances. I was a hardcore vegan and went to metal shows (that means I was practically straightedge). I don’t know what the fuck this was all about. This album was an odd fixation of mine and I haven’t thought about them in YEARS (like most other people), but they recently crossed my mind and… Usually music from my past I still like on some greater level, but this shit I… I don’t know. I just don’t know.

12. “Theory of Machines” — Ben Frost :: This is stunningly beautiful to me. It almost makes me weep. It’s like Tim Hecker plus Mogwai plus Pale Sketcher and is, therefore, a perfect emotional spectrum.

13. “First Dream” — Ryuichi Sakamoto & Alva Noto :: From The Revenant soundtrack. I walked out of that movie (which was fucking incredible, by the way) thinking most urgently about the music. I felt like I knew it already, which is a very strange (and obviously false) feeling… Not quite Tim Hecker and not quite Sakamoto, I thought. When I saw it was Sakamoto it was kind of thrilling to think that maybe I could recognize his work. I don’t think I can, for the record, but I felt like a real listener of music instead of some jack-of-all-genres obsessor that finds virtue equally in shitty pop music, heavy metal, and contemporary classical, et al.

14. “Monochrome 4” — TU M’ :: Ideal music for the twilight of consciousness.

15. “Staring at the Sun” — TV on the Radio :: Aforementioned.

#ryuichi sakamoto #tvontheradio #benfrost #gabriel & dresden #tu'm #assemble head in sunburst sound #aborted #david shire #interpol #dougief #pitbull #thechills #pinkfrost #dorothy #chris stapleton #candlemass #publicimageltd

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December 2015 // Garbage Brain

Here is the utterly unedited version of my liner notes because I cannot get my shit together.

1. “Girl (Radio Edit) (feat. KAYTRANADA)” — The Internet :: Instant heat.

2. “Sunshine (feat. Jill Scott)” — Pusha T :: Instant chills.

3. “Hard Luck Kid” — Beach Slang :: I heard this song on KEXP and liked it so much I listened to the whole album, to which I give two thumbs up. There was just something about this band… Strongly associated with pop-punk, but more heartfelt and vulnerable, a little sad, and so earnest it seems cheesy. The themes are so familiar... And then it hit me. They sound exactly like The Goo Goo Dolls. Not the fuzzy guitars or the vocal affect, but the songs themselves. They could all easily be GGD covers, and vice versa. I have the distinct shame of being both someone who used to listen to The Goo Goo Dolls and someone who has taste. I still couldn’t decry the GGD; the truth is I remember them fondly. But it brings me satisfaction that Pitchfork and others in the elite music nerd crowd are endorsing what could very well be early GGD demos.

4. “I’m A Long Gone Daddy” — The The :: Everyone asks what this is when I play it, and that’s because it’s The The covering Hank Williams — a whole album of it. It’s one of the most soul-satisfying albums I know.

5. “So Good” — Beat Connection :: I needed this album to be my new Jungle S/T, but it isn’t. I keep coming back to this album though, in various states of mental undress, and I will say that the more naked you are, the better it sounds.

6. “Waterfall” — Vok :: I can’t imagine creating anything to this music. I can only see myself numbing out to it, being elevated past the physical world. A lot of new music feels this way to me now… I don’t want to fuck to it, make art to it, or even clean to it. I just want to inject it directly into my bloodstream and sit on cold sand, hands and horizon empty. Is this what The Knife has given us? Music to write code to?

7. “Weight in Gold” —Gallant :: File under TO WATCH.

8. “Carry Home” — The Gun Club :: If it helps, imagine that this song is written in the perspective of a man returning from war rather than coming back from being on tour.

9. “Swingin’ On Pier 13” — The Bomboras :: I N T E R L U D E M U S I C

10. “Trying to Find A Balance” — Atmosphere :: This sounds like Hilltop Hoods plus Sage Francis which is the only reason I’m into it and in fact I would like some more, please.

11. “One Of Them (feat. Big Sean)” — G-Eazy :: I don’t really like ‘this kind of rap’ but this feels so dirty to me. I feel like it’s a confession and it’s dark and terrifying. I fundamentally don’t understand the drive to have lots of money or extravagances. I think that my inability to insert myself into this narrative makes me feel like a voyeur of someone else’s darkness.

12. “Intentional Injury” — Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy :: I don’t exactly know what this song is about but I got a tattoo of a BPB lyric when I was 18 so I have to be his biggest fan for the rest of my life to save face.

13. “Human Fly” — The Cramps :: I don’t know why but I’ve always had a strong erotic fixation on rockabilly; perhaps it’s just the perversion of the 50s really does it for me.

14. “Harsh Realm” — Widowspeak :: I’ve been selling this as “Warpaint on the Frontier” … got that twang t’ it.

15. “Nirk Oun Krup Valear” — Sinn Sisamouth :: Ever planning my escape to Cambodia.

16. “Not If You Were the Last Junkie On Earth — The Dandy Warhols :: Listening to this band is like sleeping with someone you don’t respect because the sex is so fun.

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November 2015 // To Be Untouched

1. “California Analog Dream” — Vondelpark :: At this point this and the following few songs have become a sort of analog (hey hey hey) for the walk from my apartment to work. I feel they add a sort of narcotic haze to the whole endeavor that, by the time I’ve arrived at work, leaves me feeling blissfully vacant.

2. “93 ’til Infinity” — Souls of Mischief :: Or a marijuana haze, I guess.

3. “Nikes on My Feet” — Jolen :: I have no idea who this is or how it managed to worm its way so deeply into my brain. I just really like how it was produced… It sounds like shit, but a certain kind of shit I have to believe was deliberate. Maybe this is just the power of repeated juxtaposition, but I can’t help but feel like it’s a nod to “93 ’til Infinity”…

4. “The Fire (feat. John Legend)” — The Roots :: I swear this was in the new Rocky movie (Creed). If it wasn’t it totally belongs there.

5. “MLLN DLLR” — Sweater Beats :: CHLL TRP Y’LL

6. “Now U Realize” — Club Cheval :: Still the same French electro circa 2007, but altogether b i g g e r. Occasionally just the right medicine for the job.

7. “Sway” — Anna of the North :: This was much later in the month, but talk about narcotic, right?

8. “There’s a Girl in the Corner” — The Twilight Sad :: Knocked the wind out of me the first time I heard it.

9. “Coffin” — Eagulls :: I think this sound is what I imagined The Clash sounded like before I heard them. (A big theme of my childhood was always wanting all music to be heavier than it really was, no doubt an affliction brought on by early exposure to grunge music.)

10. “7:30 AM” — Slothrust :: Honest angst, honest chords.

11. “Skulldiggin” — Black Joe Lewis :: Sounds like The Icarus Line if they replaced the heroin with soul.

12. “Shake Me Like A Monkey (Live)” — Dave Matthews Band :: My boyfriend is so into Dave Matthews, and he’s always trying to sneak it by me, hoping that one of these hundred songs will get me by the neck just the right way and hook me for life… and this song almost did it.

13. “Oaks” — The Hold Steady :: The best/worst thing about sobriety is the uncannily visceral memory of being under the influence. Thanks to S for this song.

14. “Holocene” — Bon Iver :: Ode to smallness.

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