epick-cluster-b-blog

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

Welcome to my Ted Talk about AsPD, or Antisocial Personality Disorder, which the internet likes to coin as sociopath 👌🏻 if you don’t like long infodumps about stigmatized mental disorders from someone who is diagnosed, move on.

Quick toxic rundown: People with AsPD are generally characterized as emotionless, violent, manipulative abusers who kill animals and like to make other people their bitches. The biggest pet peeve we have is the emotionless, sadistic and abusive generalization.

Personally, we are highly neurotic, with highs and lows of: depression, frantic drive, self abuse tactics, chronic fear, lapses of rejection, overwhelming over-analyzation, grey area thinking, false goods and false bads, ultimatums, obsessive compulsive behavior, harsh self demands, and irritability.

AsPD is a disorder that is caused primarily (according to current research) by trauma and abuse in childhood; most notably being emotional neglect and absent caregivers that cause a child to have emotional shutdowns and repression episodes in an attempt to self soothe. Primary caregivers who do not bond with their children are also a factor. Children learn how to behave from those around them. If a primary caregiver is emotionally distant and unavailable, children will learn that is normal behavior and that’s how people are. If a primary caregiver does not provide empathy and sympathy during moments of distress and fear, children will learn that aloofness and disregard of others feelings is normal behavior. If a primary caregiver does not keep a child safe, children will learn that they should not prioritize their own safety or the safety of others. You can find my follow up post regarding this here.

Neglected and abused children often act out trying to get attention and help, often acting out in bad ways because they lack the ability to articulate what they’re feeling and what is happening to them. The pipeline for AsPD typically is: Oppositional Defiance Disorder as a child, Conduct Disorder as a teen, AsPD as an adult. There are a lot of warning signs cueing that AsPD is becoming a risk for development, but often kids do not have a support system to help negate it as it’s their support system that is usually a factor in its creation.

Being AsPD is like being an emotional La Croix 70% of the time. If you’re depressed, then it’s like someone in the other room has depression and is telling you about it. The other 30% of the time, if you’re depressed, your brain doesn’t understand how to handle it so it’s an ultimatum between doing something drastic to remove the Trigger or ignoring and dissociating for days on end.

People with AsPD are very good at ignoring things. Honestly it’s problematic as fuck but it’s not hard to ignore major issues when you just, don’t care. It’s not in the terms of being cruel or making ourselves not care, but the fact that finding the emotional willpower is so far out of our feasible reach we don’t do it. This causes us to piss people off because we don’t have the capacity to care as much as they want us to, even if we can and do to an extent.

Think of it this way: empathy/sympathy is a deep tub of water that everyone has. They can easily fill their measuring cup for the needed amount of empathy without any issues and it’s easy for them. People with AsPD don’t have a tub of water. We have shallow skillet. When we try to dip our cup to fill it, we can’t, it always comes up short and it is difficult to get any water in it as there is no room for the cup to dive. Our ability to care is limited because we do not have the same emotional resources everyone else does.

❌ False Positives & False Negatives ❌

I operate on what I’ve learned are called false positives and false negatives. These are things that are trained into the brain from an early age based off of childhood trauma and other factors. False positives are a distorted version of why we do something to help ourself and for our own good, meanwhile a false negative is something we do because it’s a threat, or based out of fear.

❌ Some of my false positives:

- It is good to be afraid of nothing

- It is good to adapt to someone’s personality if they are stronger than you

- It is good to isolate yourself

- It is good to be a silver tongue because you can get into any place you want

- It is good to become a social chameleon and shape yourself to whatever those around you need/want most, because then you have no chance of being abandoned

❌ Some of my false negatives, which can explain the false positives as well as core beliefs:

- it is bad to be afraid, if I am afraid then I am vulnerable and it can be used against me

- It is bad to be emotional or show concern for others emotions because they do not care for mine

- It is bad to be able to be exploited, because I believe it is everywhere

- It is bad to allow myself to be bored, because boredom begets bad thoughts and no one can or wants to help me when I spiral

- It is bad to not shape yourself to the social circle, because people quickly grow tired of those who do not match them perfectly and being discarded means I failed

My core beliefs can be viewed as the root for the false positives and negatives, because they are based on the core of trauma, abuse and neglect. They come from patterns and instances that make someone with AsPD become the opposite of what they experienced:

- eat or be eaten

- If I don’t show that my bite is worse than my bark, I will be taken advantage of and I must remain on top because the ones on top are safe

- I must look out for myself because nobody will do it for me

- It doesn’t matter what happens to me, therefore it doesn’t matter what people think of me

- If I cannot do something well, then I should not do it at all

- If you are dependent on others for emotional and mental well being, you are weak, therefore I must isolate myself to avoid becoming codependent and a burden and useless

- If I can handle the stress of a situation better than everyone else, therefore I will keep the problem (financial, emotional, mental, etc) to myself to reduce chances of being abandoned due to failure of perfection

People with AsPD are hard to get along with. We often:

- are always anticipating a fight

- lack respect for authority

- ignore social structures to an extent

- tendency to lie if it’ll lessen punishment or if we feel the lie is more acceptable than our actions

- limit social support because it’s wrong to be dependent on others

- have an inflated view of our own importance — which turns into a self ridicule for believing someome like me could be found important to others —

- can be rude and inconsiderate of others feelings somewhat unintentionally

- are unable to read the correct social cues in relation to empathy towards people and animals

- am constantly confused by others dependence upon empathy and inability to make desicions from logic based standpoints

We can’t speak for everyone who has AsPD, nor are we saying that no one with AsPD is capable of being a murderer/abuser etc. but we are saying that y’all need to stop automatically classifying someone as a certain “type” as soon as you know about their disorder.

One last thing I do want to point out is that it is not uncommon for people with AsPD to derive some sort of enjoyment in causing harm, doing something illegal, hurting someone or animals, etc. This entirely stems from lack of environmental control as a child. Being able to control what happens to others or being able to control the things you say or do that hurts someone else is a hefty high to get addicted to; it soothes the underlying itch of not being able to control your own trauma and abuse, so in turn you push these behaviors onto others and enjoy it because it gives you a sense of power and control. Some people with AsPD do genuinely love hurting others, and some enjoy hurting others when they believe it’s deserved or their ire has been stoked. Some enjoy causing pain to those they think deserve it, and others don’t care who they hurt as long as they feel like they’re in control of the situation.

Hope this have some insight into AsPD 🤙🏻 if y’all have any questions, shoot.

#aspd #cluster b safe #aspd safe

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

Having affective empathy deficits because you have ASPD and cognitive empathy deficits because you have autism is wild. Especially when you have a high need for cognition and a high cognitive capacity. It’s like constantly playing 4D chess.

Someone telling me a story about something I have zero personal experience with? I am SO useless. Usually I refer to past situations I’ve been in so I know how the other person might be feeling and what advice I would give but when I have 0 context and I’m already bad at cognitive empathy. And I can’t even relate to how they feel or ‘feel for them’ even if they directly tell me. It’s like idk what do you want me to say. That sure is a situation. Do fuck all for all I care. Except I can’t say that, because I know people are expected to care about that stuff… and on some level, if it’s a friend, I do care—but the barrier to my understanding is so huge that I end up only caring from a, like, theoretical standpoint. Like yeah in general if my friend gets hurt I care. But also. I have no emotions regarding how you respond to this specific situation. And then my ability to engage on the topic starts to slim down to frantic attempts to engage social scripts so that I don’t show what’s going on in my head.

It’s also insane because like. I always think that I have good cognitive empathy (for an autistic person) until the end of the day. And then I drop my mask and I realise how tired I am. Or when I’m at a social gathering for a while and I use so much energy I wind up practically hiding behind a friend so nobody talks to me. And then I realise that, yeah, I might be able to use it to function to some extent, but every time I do I’m using all of these mental functions that I barely even realise I’m using anymore that it just nukes me.

AuSPD is a pretty intense combo in that it really severely damages your ability to relate to other people. Especially when the impacts they have on your thoughts make it so that, often, your perspective is only understood by yourself. (Its why I enjoy online communities sm—somebody out there is BOUND to relate EVENTUALLY and I like seeing that I’m not alone).

#aspd #aspd safe #cluster b safe #cluster b #actually cluster b #autism #asd #antisocial personality disorder #antisocial #ty op for sharing

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

Just a reminder that ableism against personality disorders, especially cluster b personality disorder, is alive and well.

Not having empathy doesn’t make someone evil. It doesn’t make them an abuser. In fact, people without empathy are better in certain vital positions. We’re better at being first responders, 911 operators, and other tasks that would overwhelm empaths. We work better in critical situations than empaths do.

Thinking that any disorder makes someone evil is ableist. And when you take into account the sexist bias in diagnosing women with BPD and the racist and classist bias in diagnosing POC and prison inmates with ASPD and NPD? It’s not only ableist, it’s all kinds of -ists. Plus, it’s really rich for someone who claims that empathy is what makes someone good to have so little empathy for people with disorders that are literally trauma-based.

So yeah if you see someone being a dick to people with PDs? Say something. Because they’re definitely not going to listen to us.

#ableism mention #ableism #important

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

Been seeing a lot of the bullshit about people with aspd/npd or low/no empathy again, so to combat that, I wanted to share a bit of positivity, so.

Things that are wonderful about my low empathy pals

Extremely perceptive

Almost impossible to freak out (great horror movie buddies)

Their ability to see through bullshit is unmatched

Immune to petty drama (unless it's funny)

Their sense of humour????????? The wildest, seriously

Perfect Poker Face

The ability to stay so calm in emergencies

Some of the least judgemental people I know (who knew rejecting social actually makes you more accepting of others? /sarcasm)

Some of the fiercest, most loyal and protective friends to those who have earned it

Unique and shrewd perspective on things because they're immune to guilt-tripping

Understand that actions, not thoughts, are the measure of a person's morality

Secretly the biggest animal lovers you'll ever meet

....and lots more things I didn't mention, but most importantly the most wonderful thing about aspd, npd, and low empathy people is that they are here, they are alive, and they are a beautiful expression of one of the many ways one can be human. They are just as capable of being good or evil as any other person is. If this is you, I want you to know I'm proud of you for surviving everything you've been through, especially the trauma and demonisation. You are worthy just as you are.

Please feel free to add anything I missed! Obviously not everything on this list is going to apply to everyone, since it's drawn from my own friendships and experiences, and everyone is unique, but that's half the point, isn't it?

#aspd #low empathy #aspd safe #npd safe #cluster b safe #npd

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

I'm a 47 year old man with schizoid personality disorder. I've been this way my whole life. I always knew I was different but I only found out about SzPD about 5 years ago.

Just want to share with you younger schizoids that it's not an easy life but it's a true and valid one, it's all yours and no one else's and you don't need to feel bad about that. You are who you are. Normies aren't ever going to understand how you can be happy living like you do, but that's fine. DO NOT make the mistake of thinking you're missing out on the good life just because they're happy with relationships and families and whatnot, and you don't have those things. You would NOT be happy with those things. So live your best life your own way, and don't fall for the trap of thinking you aren't allowed to be happy in your own way. Old man schizoid out

#thank you old man schizoid #ik this is supposed to be cluster b blog #but we all have personality disorders here #cluster a #cluster a positivity #szpd #szpd safe #szpd positivity #schizoid

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

It is not up to others to protect themselves from my harmful behavior. It is not ableist for people to say that I am harming them when I am in fact harming them. This is why it's called a disorder - because it would be better for myself and others if that part of me could either be removed or greatly modified.

I can't see that happening. So whatevs, can't stop, won't stop

#important #people making assumptions abt you because of your diagnosis- #-IS HARMFUL #people communicating that your behavior is unhealthy and hurting them- #-that’s healthy. #positivity is good!! #but so is admitting faults and healing. #try your best etc etc

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

I wish people who believe in narcissistic abuse and act like people with NPD are so evil were not even human understood that having NPD can absolutely motivate people to do good things.

I have NPD and I work in education. At the school I work at, we have a couple Ukrainian kids who don’t speak English. I have begun learning Ukrainian (or well, trying to, this is my first time trying to learn a language that uses a different alphabet than English so progress is slow), specifically because I want to be the one to make these kiddos feel welcome. I want to be the one teacher who has put in effort to learn their language, rather than just trying to teach them ours. That’s a good thing to do, but if I didn’t have NPD I probably wouldn’t bother to do that and would just use google translate (like all the rest of the teachers).

I, like other narcissists, find that most of my motivation comes from looking for another narc high, and for me, I am much more likely to get a narc high from doing something good and feeling good about myself because I did something good, than I ever would from making someone else feel bad about themself. Why would I spend my time going around hurting other people for no reason when I could put my effort into doing something actually cool and then everyone will think I’m awesome because I actually did something awesome?

I know I’m not the only narcissist like this, but sure, let’s keep spreading the rhetoric that narcissists only exist to hurt people.

#same op #same

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

pwNPD Survey!

I’ve created a survey to collect the experiences of pwNPD, this will be used to educate others on NPD as a whole, and be an accurate and broad resource for others who are learning abt NPD for any reason. (Questioning if you have it, just wanting to learn, educating family/friends, etc). (As most resources are very ableist towards pwNPD).

This data will be presented in the form of a document! It will be posted here when finished.

All responses are 100% anonymous, I don’t even know who says what because this survey doesn’t collect emails or any identifying information!

This survey is for pwNPD, which includes self diagnosed, professionally diagnosed, questioning, and people with NPD traits!

Link to the form above :)

Please share, reblog, respost, etc!! I’d love to have as many responses as possible! :3

This survey will be open indefinitely, as I want to gather as much data as possible and update the document as needed when it’s created.

#excited to see how this develops!

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

hey guys help i was wondering if paranoia can be associated with npd and all i can find is narc abuse bullshit, if anyone has knowledge or resources on this i’d be very grateful. even anecdotes are fine if you’re willing to share

#npd #cluster b #cluster b positivity #npd positivity #npd safe #actually cluster b #cluster b safe #paranoia

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

Autistic spaces are getting so much more hostile towards people with low empathy, and it sucks

There was a subreddit I really liked, people were chill, and then there was a sudden influx of people making posts like ‘Autistic people have empathy! Saying we don’t makes us seem like monsters! Thats not a symptom!’ And people making posts explaining that no, actually, some of us do have low empathy got attacked and told they were wrong or ableist? And it sucks, because its just so hard to find a place to exist where you can be seen as not evil? I don’t know, it just hurts a lot to be told that

#this post is about autism #but this is a positivity blog so it can go here

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

Woe I made a hyper specific NPD bingo

Egotypicals can interact just dont be weird

#yippee! #this one is fun lol

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

#lmao #you guys know the drill #cluster b

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

they should make a forum or something for pwHPD and pwNPD to post their works or their selfies and the only replies allowed are compliments. not empty compliments either, they have to be genuine or specific compliments and praises. for ppl who are writhing in pain from not getting enough attention or praise

#npd #cluster b #cluster b positivity #npd positivity #npd safe #actually cluster b #cluster b safe #hpd #hpd positivity #hpd safe #actually npd #actually hpd #narcissism #actually narcissistic #actually histrionic #narcissistic personality disorder #histrionic #histrionic pd #histrionic personality disorder #narcissistic #narcissistic pd #hopefully i didnt make any typos in my tags today

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

hey fellow pwNPD i have a question. do you guys lack sympathy, empathy, or both (or neither)? i find that even when i can put myself in other people’s shoes so to speak, sometimes i just don’t care lmfao. like i have absolutely no sympathy and i feel apathetic. wondering if any other fellow narcissists can relate.

#npd #npd positivity #npd tag #narcissism #actually narcissistic #actually npd #actually cluster b #low empathy #no empathy #neurodivergent #cluster b #cluster b positivity #npd safe #cluster b safe #narcissistic personality disorder

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

If you have a big, emotional, self hating meltdown every time someone tells you that you hurt them or crossed a boundary of theirs, then that means you’re not a safe person to say no to - and that’s something you need to work on. Even if you’re genuinely just really upset that you hurt someone, if every attempt at communicating a boundary to you results in the person you hurt having to repeatedly reassure you that you’re not actually a bad person, then you need to work on controlling yourself and taking constructive criticism.

#recovery #cluster b #applies to most pwBPD and other cluster b’s #it’s hard not to hate yourself but you can still try your best :) #and try to let people set boundaries with you #even if it hurts #it will hurt less if you just accept and change

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

pwNPD Survey!

I’ve created a survey to collect the experiences of pwNPD, this will be used to educate others on NPD as a whole, and be an accurate and broad resource for others who are learning abt NPD for any reason. (Questioning if you have it, just wanting to learn, educating family/friends, etc). (As most resources are very ableist towards pwNPD).

This data will be presented in the form of a document! It will be posted here when finished.

All responses are 100% anonymous, I don’t even know who says what because this survey doesn’t collect emails or any identifying information!

This survey is for pwNPD, which includes self diagnosed, professionally diagnosed, questioning, and people with NPD traits!

Link to the form above :)

Please share, reblog, respost, etc!! I’d love to have as many responses as possible! :3

This survey will be open indefinitely, as I want to gather as much data as possible and update the document as needed when it’s created.

[epick-cluster-b-blog]

Not culture, but I’ve made a survey where pwNPD can share their experiences, for the purpose of educating others and creating a non-ableist resource! All responses are 100% anonymous, I don’t even know who submits what.

https://forms.gle/YHyh46hng5rM41Rc9

Here’s the link :)

Thank you for posting this ask if you do!

i already reblogged your post about it but here it is again for those who didn't see ^^