enverslalune

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a little something i'm working on rn

#death #love #obsession #religion

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— mimi evangeline, from girlhood is godhood

#to be a teenage girl #god #religion #rage #anger #womanhood

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I am the bathroom tap that never stops dripping. I am my mother crying in the bathroom. I cross my legs and smile at my doctor. He doesn’t smile back. He asks why I took all those pills. I am the bathroom tap that never stops dripping. I am nothing but the sound of birds rustling in autumn leaves. I am not my father. Anything but my father. He is the crunch of autumn leaves. The garbage disposal. My mother is the woman drowning in the bathtub and I am the bathroom tap that never stops dripping. I am her shrieks. I wear pink blush and smile at my doctor. I took those pills because I am the bathroom tap that never stops dripping. My mother is drowning. My father is destructing and I can’t stop dripping. Can’t you see, my mothers shrieks is my grief. My mother stands outside the hospital room crying. I’m wearing a hospital gown and I watch my father scrunch up his fists. I am not my fathers anger. But I understand it. I am the bathroom tap that never stops dripping. In the same bathroom my mother cries in. In the same bathroom I tried to die in. I am the bathroom tap that never stops dripping.

— Hannah Green, from “A Conversation With My Doctor.” ©

#tw suicide #despair #anger #mothers #fathers

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It Doesn’t Matter - Aerial East

#anger #dependance #trust

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Herakles, Euripides (tr. Tom Sleigh)

#family #home #dysfunction #grief

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Alice Notley, In the Pines

#family #home #dysfunction #fire

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Micah Nemerever, "These Violent Delights"

#love #desire #consumption

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I WILL BE THE KNIFE THIS TIME.

prayer for the newly damned, ocean vuong / unknown / mercy, yves olade / cut, caitlyn siehl

#what’s more dangerous is the person who wields #a blade is only dangerous in someone’s hand; a gun is only deadly with a finger on the trigger #violence

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chen chen, nature poem in ‘when i grow up i want to be a list of further possibilities’

#chen chen #when i grow up i want to be a list of further possibilities

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“You are shaking fists & trembling teeth. I know: You did not mean to be cruel. That does not mean you were kind.”

— Venetta Octavia, excerpt of “THE BURNING”, from my chapbook, “What We Left Behind”

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—about god

#god #religion

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Seven devils all around you Seven devils in your house

Mary Magdalene, Sandys // Seven Devils, Florence + The Machine

#death #life

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the unabridged journals of sylvia plath, sylvia plath // little father, li-young lee // dostoevsky and parricide, sigmund freud // forest, crystal vega-huerta // the pulling, sharon olds // salt water, peter campion // learning late letters, quyên nguyễn-hoàng // the woods, daughter // the cubist painters, guillaume apollinaire // deathwatch, michael ryan.

#fathers #dead #haunting

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from journal entry (april 11th 2022, silas denver melvin, paper + digital)

click for quality + do not remove caption (instagram)

[ID: a black and white photograph of several muscovy ducks swimming in a line on a pond. in yellow text above them it reads "it's hard work, trying to make yourself into something your mother can stand to look at." /End ID]

#mothers #children

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wow

#mothers #daughters #rage

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Do not care if  you just arrive in your skeleton. / Would love to take a walk with you. Miss you. / Would love to make you shrimp saganaki. / Like you used to make me when you were alive. / Love to feed you. Sit over steaming bowls of pilaf. Little roasted tomatoes covered in pepper and nutmeg. Miss you. / Would love to walk to the post office with you. / Bring the ghost dog. We’ll walk past the waterfall and you can tell me about the after. / Wish you. Wish you would come back for a while. / Don’t even need to bring your skin sack. I’ll know you. I know you will know me even though. I’m bigger now. Grayer. I’ll show you my garden. / I’d like to hop in the leaf pile you raked but if you want to jump in? I’ll rake it for you. Miss you standing looking out at the river with your rake in your hand. Miss you in your puffy blue jacket. / They’re hip now. I can bring you a new one if you’ll only come by. Know I told you it was okay to go. Know I told you it was okay to leave me. Why’d you believe me? / You always believed me. Wish you would come back so we could talk about truth. / Miss you. Wish you would walk through my door. Stare out from the mirror. Come through the pipes.

— Miss you. Would like to take a walk with you. by Gabrielle Calvocoressi

#gabrielle calvocoressi #grief #missing you

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“too much love” - photo sequence by katja kemnitz

#too much love #love