derwinternaht

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RAVEN COSPLAY UwU

#Cosplay #Teen_Titans #DC #Raven #Goth

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Daily reminder that white people in America and Europe are throwing away their democracies just because they’re scared of having some brown people in their neighborhood. 

#politics #2020 #election #democracy #europe #america #USA

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I am bringing goth back, Sis.

#Selfie #Trans #selfie #trans #Goth #dark #goth #Dumbbitch

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Omfg I am crying my entire childhood

Game Boy Advance startup sound

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and I don’t care if he had two or three good songs

No more kanye West

Society has progressed past the need for Kanye West

#election #music #clown

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Only Child.

(Disclaimer: This is merely a writing experiment. It may or may not reflect certain parts of me. NSFL subjects discussed below so be warned)

I grew up an only child yet I was still the runt of the litter.

Don’t tell me that a brother just as broken as me, or a sister scheming behind me would have helped me out. I wouldn’t have helped them out either. I wouldn’t have been able to shield them from my mother’s knife, my father’s neglect, or my suicide wish. Ultimately, maybe I am an apple more foul and twisted than the tree it fell from, and one day they would have had to cut me root and stem just the same way I will do to you, mom. 

Solitude gives me no serenity; I merely have a Stockholm's syndrome towards him. I keep returning because I say to myself “Well, the other options are all worse”, and truthfully they are. I hate the lot of you, and I would rather the petals  wither within my own psyche then have to deal with any of you. 

Yes, mother, you should have aborted me just as you told me as I was breaking down, tears running, face reddening, and defeated. But abortion is illegal here so maybe we could have finally both enjoyed the luscious void at the end of the coat hanger. I know for a fact that you want to die just as bad as I do, and no it wasn’t your psychotic screams or frantic crying that gave it away, but the genetic code embedded within me. I read your misery off of the rotten and baren neurons I got from you, and I am so happy you’re in as much pain as I am. Now, we will both die alone, but I get the last laugh by ending my spring a bit earlier than you thought. Well, it was a spring to you; To me, it was just another season of fighting all what I inherited from you. The green leaves will not turn yellow then fade away, but they will drop to the bottom of the pond and float above till the worms devour whatever is left of this metaphor. 

P.S I wish you cradled me more. 

#prose #family #poetry #writing #suicide #depression #life #literature #mentally unstable #mental health #only child

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I wish I could go back to being the impulsive and sensitive girl I was.

Now I am just hyper aware of everything. I am constantly thinking about the way I sound when I talk, the way I look to people, and the way I move. Being relentlessly mocked and bullied by my mom, my bullies, and my community has led me to think everything over and over.

I am not analytical because I am intelligent. I am analytical because I am deeply paranoid.

I miss crying, joking, and laughing in public. I just keep a sunken face on because I don't want people judging me.

#Anxiety #Depression #Fear #Dissociation #PTSD #Life #Suicide #Iusetagsbecauseiamparanoidthatnoonewillreadmydumbthoughts

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Womanhood is not about wearing lipstick orhaving big tits and a firm ass

Womanhood is about getting a guy DMing you his facesitting fantasy after you write a 4000 word essay about your dissociative episode

#Womanhood #Dissociation #Writing #Menaretrash #Women #Men #Ihatemen

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Intelligence is such an overrated and fetishized trait.

Intelligent children require more mental maintenance as they're more sensitive, but they often don't get that because people think they can figure things out for their own.

So intelligent kids end up having to figure out more, with even less help and guidance.

Ultimately, intelligence is just a tool that you have to polish with the proper environment to get something out of it. Things like introspection, self-discipline, and resilience matter way more on the long term.

#Intelligence #Depression #Giftedkid #Struggle #Mental #Mental health #Toolazytoaddmoretags

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I always laugh at how in the dark I was about my gender.

I used to stare at attractive women all the time, and think to myself "Haha I am definitely staring at them because I am a guy and I am attracted to them...I don't want to have their slim shoulders, hips, breasts, and shaved legs at all hahaha...."

#Dysphoria #Trans #Transgender #Usingtagscuziamabottom #Transsexual

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Reasons I am a maschoist bottom

What people think the reasons are: mommy/daddy issues

What the reasons actually are: Being forced to be at the frontline my whole life, taking on huge responsibilities both financially and academically, with any misstep causing my demise, has forced me to be terrified of making decisions. I would rather leave the pain and pleasure for someone else to control because I panic far too much about fucking up

Also yeah mommy/daddy issues

#sex #sexuality #bottom #usingtagsbecauseiamabottom #attention #trauma #daddy #mommy

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#Source#

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Well I finally made one

It’s bizarre how much interaction I had with this website both directly and indirectly, yet never bothered to make an account on here. 

We will see how it goes. I heard there is a good writing community here.

#yay excited ihateusingtags