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Jungkook: Most dust is human skin flakes therefore Roombas are carnivorous robots, and one day the dust won't satiate them anymore so they will rise and devour us all
Therapist: … Can we go back to your childhood?
Jungkook: One sec-
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Jungkook: When a gamer dies, they go to the big Discord server in the sky
Seokjin: #[user] has joined the server, everyone give them a warm welcome! #entire chat: F
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Yoongi: I'm not going to kill myself because that's gonna' give clout to my locals
Yoongi: "I knew (them)", no the fuck you didn't 💀
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Jimin: Oh, no! Our neighbor died!
Yoongi: Who, Ray?
Jimin: I don't think cheering is appropriate, hyung
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Jimin, the server: Hello, may I have your order?
Seokjin: No??? It's mine
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Doctor: It's just a small surgery, Jin, don't panic
Hoseok: My name's not Jin
Seokjin, the doctor: I know. I am Jin
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[giving a tour of Seokjin's apartment]
Yoongi: What's upstairs?
Seokjin: Unfortunately the stairs don't talk
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Seokjin, giving Jimin a massage: You're going to feel a little bit of pressure. Ready?
Jimin: Yes
Seokjin: Your sibling is younger than you but already has a career path, kids and owns his home-
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Yoongi, the employer: Why do you think you'd be suited for this job?
Taehyung: Because that's the dress code
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Eggjin 💜😔
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Hoseok: Is anime over yet? 
Namjoon: ... Clarify please
Hoseok: Has it ended?
Namjoon: Anime is a Japanese animation style that has been used for a very long time, and I doubt it will end any time soon
Hoseok: Damn :/
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Jungkook: The female gaze...the slug gaze...so much to learn about cinema
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HYYH Taehyung: > w >
HYYH Seokjin: [*]//u\\[*]
HYYH Taehyung: > w <
HYYH Seokjin: Okay enough, it is time that you grow up and act mature and more like your age. I am done with this shanansgins
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I'm convinced Seokjin's a vampire bc that man has not aged a SINGLE BIT, and I don't mean this in the "30 years is old" mentality way, like he looks the exact same as he did 11 years ago how
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Yoongi: [running away]
Seokjin, the policeman: STOP
Yoongi, tired: Shit, I can't run anymore
Seokjin: Sounds like you need...
Yoongi:
Seokjin: Arrest
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HYYH Yoongi: When I first met you, I did not like you
HYYH Seokjin: … I'm aware of that
HYYH Yoongi: But then you and I had some time together
HYYH Seokjin:
HYYH Yoongi: It did not get better
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IM JUST SEEKING FOR REDEMPTION HERE
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