badbraincake

[badbraincake]

I've decided to stop this writing blog for a while and change life paths entirely. I don't really know if challenging myself to live is going to help me in the long run but I think it's a good idea. A painful, annoying, hard to live through idea but an idea nevertheless.

I'm Daring Myself To Live (and maybe you too?)

I've struggled with chronic mental illness since I was 9 years old. I'm not enthusiastic about the way my brain works or this whole idea in general. But some part of me wants to answer two questions. Is getting better really possible (I think it is) and is it really worth doing (I think not).

But the only real way to find out is if I give it my best shot. I'm not talking about a life time commitment, let's not get ahead of ourselves. But I'm thinking 5 years should be fair.

I've decided to give medication, therapy, self care and higher powers all another try. I'll be opening myself up to new experiences (within reason) and documenting everything online.

I don't have much hope that this will work and I have absolutely no faith in anything. But I'm doing this anyway and I don't know why.

[badbraincake]

I may have ended up in the hospital and almost admitted to a behavioral health center. But the things I wrote in my diary today were absolute bangers. Back to back bangers. Before and after my psychiatrist sent me to the hospital. Bangers.

#vent post #tw vent #this is supposed to be a writing blog #im looking on the bright side

[badbraincake]

I'm currently planning a slow burn just for funsies and it's torturous. Stop being silly and give me the good stuff! Currently gripping my sheets and screaming. My idea is giving me full body chills. Shaking sweating and crying.

#slow burn #writing #creative writing #writeblr #writer confessions

[badbraincake]

How to Save a Half Wasted Day (when you'd rather rot and you're unhinged)

(in a way that is most attainable to me and probably only me)

Get a bottle of ice cold water

Listen to something that won't distract you

Clean your bed and only your bed off

Clear a path from the door to the bed

Get a change of clothes

Take a shower or skip, either way put on semi clean clothes

Quickly put hair up any kind of way

One or two skincare items (cleanser, moisturizer)

Half brush teeth, doing it fully is for the energizer bunny

Collect dirty dishes out of bedroom

Collect trash from bedroom

Sort laundry into clean and dirty piles

Write a realistic to-do list

Only do the quickest and easiest tasks

Eat a meal or two or three

Go to bed by a decent time

#routines #mental health tips #mental health #coping skills

[badbraincake]

just a vent

Most of my life has been taken by mental illness. While I won't give you my whole medical history I will say that it started when I was 8 or 9 years old. Since then, symptoms and the severity of it has only worsened. I'm at a point where I'm barely functional.

I can't work. I'm so terrified of driving that I won't even go to the DMV to get a learners permit. I was studying for my GED since I dropped out of high school but recently I've stopped. I'm 20 years old and I have nothing of my own. Even if I was mentally well enough to take on adult responsibilities, I no longer see the point.

I don't have a supportive family or a network of strong friends. No one really checks on me emotionally or invests their time into me. I don't have any dreams, goals or aspirations anymore. My passions have gone down the drain.

Now I don't want to fix it. I'm tired of going to therapy and trying to explain to my therapist the suffering that I feel. I'm tired of coping and taking deep breaths and trying new medications just waiting for something to work. It never does.

I'm tired of reaching out for help too. I'm drowning and everyone knows but no one knows how to save me. I don't know how to save me either so maybe this is just the way it's supposed to be. I'm tired.

#mental illness #vent post #tw vent

[badbraincake]

I'd do anything for more unorthodox protagonists

I want antagonists who are sad that no one likes them.

I want antagonists who get upset, sad and frustrated.

I want antagonists who don't appear scary at all

Ones who are very well intentioned

Ones with no charm or social skills at all

Villains who became villains on ACCIDENT

As much as I love the dark, brooding, mysterious, morally gray, maybe violent antagonist. I'd really like to see antagonists who I feel more conflicted about instead of simply being enraged by their every move.

#writeblr #writing ideas #writing prompt #writing antagonists #writing villains

[badbraincake]

how to be productive while the world is falling apart

Prioritize what's necessary, if that assignment can wait then it can wait. Don't overwork yourself or pick up extra tasks.

Listen to your body, if it's screaming not to do something then maybe you don't have to do it and if you do, you can find a different way of doing it that'll make it easier

Find creative ways to make necessary tasks manageable, maybe you need to do it in a different location, maybe you need someone to join you in doing it, try to maximize your comfort

Give yourself meaningful breaks, taking care of your basic needs and such

Reward yourself, whatever that means for you, however many rewards you need in order to keep going

Listen to your limits stop when you need to stop, nothing is worth sacrificing your mental wellness

#mental health #productivity #productivitytips

[badbraincake]

How To Take A Productive Break (even if you're in the zone)

Make sure you're hydrated

Go to the bathroom if you need to

Stretch your body

Have a snack

Don't do something distracting (going on your phone or starting another project)

Take the opportunity to tidy up if needed

#mental health #study motivation #study tips

[badbraincake]

Writing Details I Love

When the love interest isn't who I expected

When the weather is important or it's just...existent (idk I love atmosphere)

When the hero and the villains arcs mirror each other

When side characters fall in love with other side characters

When side characters get a happy ending (I love side characters so much)

When a character that started off antagonistic has a redemption arc

Strong friendships!

Personally, I like when food is mentioned

When the five senses are mentioned (especially smell and taste)

When the theme is so powerful but it sneaks up on me and punches me in the gut

#writing #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writer confessions #maybe I love reading more than I love writing #maybe I love stories more than anything

[badbraincake]

Writing Decisions I'm Glad I've Made

Writing even though it was "bad"

Not being afraid to scrap plotlines and characters

Writing for myself or just to write

Taking a break from writing lol

Deciding that writing was worthwhile in the first place

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #creative writing #writing #writerscommunity

[badbraincake]

tropes that I eat up on the daily

The hero being just as scary as the villain

The golden retriever and black cat duo

A redemption arc

The hero and the villain mirroring each other

Unlikely allies

A character that doesn't mind being disliked

Mad genius

A character using their attractiveness as a weapon

A morally gray main character

Falling for the underdog

#writing tropes #writing #creative writing #writeblr #writing community

[badbraincake]

Tips for finding the perfect story idea

Start with listing what you don't want to write

Listen to the ideas that won't go away

Combine different story ideas and concepts

Ask yourself "what if" questions

Give yourself a lot of options and narrow them down by creating your own set of criteria for what you want to write. (Ex: not too long, fantasy genre, multiple perspectives)

Don't reject your own creativity

#writeblr #creative writing #writing #writing advice #writing tips #writers block

[badbraincake]

Thank you @citrusdevilll and everyone who got me to 250 reblogs!

I'll be so honest, I barely understand how to use Tumblr. My phone has been blowing up and I'm just... confused lmao. Not sure what I'm confused about but I'm enjoying Tumblr so far.

#250 reblogs #tumblr milestone #thank you

[badbraincake]

how to survive rock-bottom

This is for the people who can barely get out of bed, cook, clean or bathe.

go to sleep sometimes we can't handle our own thoughts or feel our own feelings. it's okay to sleep to escape dangerous situations.

do the bare minimum if you can only brush your teeth for thirty seconds or wash up at the sink, that's so much better than nothing. heck, sometimes all I can do is change my clothes.

have quick and easy meals on hand, salad packs, instant noodles, microwave meals, literally anything edible and low effort

open a window or curtain, even if the sun isn't touching you at all, just let in some light

keep a water bottle. personally, i couldn't care less about being dehydrated, but it's nice to have water on the occasion that I don't want to have a massive headache

vent to ai, I don't care if it's weird or people think that it's sad, I do it everyday because I have no one to talk to

DON'T isolate yourself!

Do something fun-ish, I know that a lot of things don't feel or sound fun. Tv shows don't hit the same. Everything is bleh. But if you can find one thing that isn't excruciatingly boring try and do it.

Hopefully this is more attainable. I know that not everyone has people they can reach out to for help and not everyone is capable of pushing through. Sometimes you feel like a rock. (I feel like a rock)

#mental health tips #mental illness #mental health #coping skills

[badbraincake]

I'm beginning to be okay with the idea that my life will not be "special" in the modern sense. There will not be documentaries made about my pain and how I somehow turned it into a triumph. My struggle will win no tangible reward. My writing might never make it outside of my desktop. I may never feel it on paper, not even for myself. The most I will have accomplished is outlining different things over and over as I try to take my own advice.

Slow down, stop being so hard on yourself and just write. If you can. If I can somehow beat the blossoming tree of rot inside the thing I call "my brain". Even though I pull myself out of bed everyday and try to do the most with what I have. The fight to get out of my own bedsheets will never be more than my own personal struggle.

I'm starting to feel okay with simply surviving the day. Even if no one notices and nothing comes of it. Even if I do end up losing the war to the mysterious organ in my head. Even if I never make it out of my mother's house or have a family or fall in love. I'm still proud of myself for just making it to therapy every day. Even if it's all futile, the way my brain says.

#creative writing #writing #writeblr #writer confessions #mental health #mental illness

[badbraincake]

How To Write Better Characters

Give them flaws, not just any flaws, in depth, specific and understandable flaws.

Introduce them in a unique way, in a way that defines the start of their arc and well represents how they are to be perceived at the start of the story

Build empathy, make their issues relatable and make them generally likeable even if they're morally corrupt, make them fun to read

Give them a voice, they need a certain way of talking and common things that they talk about or a certain vibe of dialogue. It's not essential for you to work on it a ton but it is nice.

Create them till they feel real, when they feel real or feel solid to you, then you've pretty much made it

Create a playlist for them, it helps refresh the vibes and you can get to know your character in a different way, a different language so to speak

Create a moodboard, also helps refresh the vibes

Make their purpose clear, even if it's just a tiny action or word. Make sure they have some kind of impact in the story, or else there's not much reason for them to be there. The more time they're there, the more impact they should have.

#writing #writeblr #creative writing #character creation #creating characters #writing advice #writing tips

[badbraincake]

Younger me would be so disappointed in who I am today. This morning I stomped on a flower. In reality, it really was just a generic weed but younger me wouldn't have seen it that way. I'm not even really sure why I did it. I tried to destroy it yesterday and missed it by inches with my foot. There's no good reason for me to hold such resentment towards this vibrant yellow thing. Even if it does choke the life out of things otherwise graceful.

Younger me would've gone out of her way not to step on it. To treat it with care. Where did my gentleness go? Why am I all of a sudden so careless? I'm well aware of my lack of a regard for my own life but when did that begin to extend to the life of other living things?

#creative writing #mental health #writer confessions