anotheraspdrager

[anotheraspdrager]

it seems crazy looking back that 6 months ago i was the one crying 'cause you left when i needed a friend, and now you come back crying? had me questioning my value and now u crawl for forgiveness saying you've been thinking of me all this time and you miss me and i'm so different and special, while i'm here fully over it and also living my best life without you. "i can't let go of what we had" should've figured that out months ago before you behaved like shit? "how can you have forgotten everything we shared" seems like you were the insignificant one after all uh?

#antisocial personality disorder #antisocialpersonalitydisorder #aspd #actually aspd #antisocial #antisocials #aspd tag #cluster b #actuallyaspd #low empathy #npd #narcissistic personality disorder #actually narcissistic

[anotheraspdrager]

y'all friendly reminder to check for hidden tags because i just walked out with a whole purse thinking it didn't have the mental tag, the alarms went off and i ended up paying €15 for this stupid purse (the bodyguard saw it on the floor after i threw it away sneakily so i just bought it to avoid getting searched), left and then realised the security sticker was actually inside the box of a €5 serum i had stuffed in my sleeve like 😭 i don't even know why the towers didn't ring when i left the second time but fuck off i could've gotten the purse for free and now i'll have to check inside every box every time smh

#liftblr #lyfting #lyftblr #shoplifting #borrowing #borrowers #borrowing haul #borrowing tips #borrowed time #actually antisocial #antisocialpersonalitydisorder #antisocial personality disorder #aspd #actually aspd #antisocial #antisocials #aspd tag #actuallyaspd

[anotheraspdrager]

i have ts in my gallery since august i think it's time to share lol, they seem pretty good to me (you can find more disorders in their instagram highlights)

#antisocial personality disorder #aspd #actually aspd #antisocial #antisocialpersonalitydisorder #antisocials #aspd tag #cluster b #actuallyaspd #low empathy #narcissistic personality disorder #actually narcissistic #narcissism #npd tag #npd #ocd #actually ocd #obsessive compulsive disorder

[anotheraspdrager]

I recently realized I keep a mental profile on everyone I meet, and I think that’s the reason why I was able to pass as empathetic for so many years. It was always just pattern recognition. It’s kinda wild how far that alone can take you in terms of people skills. I’ve learned what most human beings have in common. I learned what general rules to follow to keep most strangers happy with me. I will eventually learn what your unique differences are, and my ability to please you will continue to grow in its accuracy as I get to know you better.

Some may call it flattery, but I call it an adaptation. It’s the closest to “normal” I’m ever going to get in the public eye, and I’d rather others be flattered than offended.

[anotheraspdrager]

my psychologist is leaving and made me meet another to switch, then asked me if i liked her (the new one) to see if she could be a good match and i went "yes because she seemed interested in me"

i think i can quit therapy, that sums it all up

#aspd #actually aspd #antisocial #antisocials #aspd tag #actuallyaspd #antisocial personality disorder #antisocialpersonalitydisorder #low empathy #cluster b #npd #npd tag #actually npd #narcissist #actually narcissistic #narcissistic personality disorder

[anotheraspdrager]

How did you learn to control your anger?

i realised anger has negative consequences most of the time, it's more satisfying to let it out subtly by establishing my role through power dynamics, so i don't have to fight for anything as i'm the one on top, it's others who have to deal with the rage, the feeling of inadequacy, of belittling, of inferiority, who have to struggle to make their voices heard

i've had people literally roll on the ground, scream, cry in my face to try and get my attention and i never give up on it, don't even try to tbh because i simply don't care enough about them to get angry or notice them, i don't care to be heard or seen by people i deem inferior, i don't care to convince them i'm right, although they often want to demonstrate they're worthy by listening and agreeing with me

so i guess i found a more hidden way of getting what i want, anger will almost never work for that and if i need to take it out i just punch a wall or something until it passes, but it happens rarely as i usually feel very stable having my cards planned out

#aspd #actually aspd #antisocial personality disorder #antisocialpersonalitydisorder #antisocial #antisocials #aspd tag #cluster b #actuallyaspd #low empathy #narcissistic personality disorder #npd #npd tag #actually npd #actually narcissistic #narcissist #narcissism

[anotheraspdrager]

i wanna make so bad a tiktok with a bunch of messages from people that got crazy over me but some of them kinda paint me in a bad light and i don't wanna look like an asshole so idk feed my ego or keep my reputation that's the dilemma, and also what if it helps my reputation? what if it attracts more people? maybe i should do a test

#aspd #actually aspd #antisocial #antisocialpersonalitydisorder #antisocial personality disorder #antisocials #aspd tag #cluster b #actuallyaspd #low empathy #narcissist #actually narcissistic #narcissistic personality disorder #npd tag #actually npd #npd

[anotheraspdrager]

i think they're so captivated because they see this weird contrast of nice manners, understanding and mirroring and yet cold and unbothered distance, it's like they wanna see what's really inside, if there's a heart that will warm for them only or maybe some kind of hidden truth for indifference, and sooner than they realise they begin to fall down this spiral until they're too deep in love to find the way out

i like it when people say they'd be able to spot people with aspd instantly .. they're always wrong.

you wouldn't spot me. i'm docile, i don't often engage in harmful or criminal behaviours, i can fake empathy with little to no effort. i'm expressive, know what's appropriate and what isn't, i can apologise with ease.

if anything, you would think i was autistic. that's not because the symptoms of autism and aspd overlap or anything, it's because empaths know so little about the disorders they can "easily pick up on" that they'll mistake it for others with one or two similar symptoms.

[anotheraspdrager]

"i did so much for you" no i did so much for you, i morphed you into a better person, i fixed you, taught you to become decent, i literally sculpted goodness out of waste materials and you wanna take credit for my charity work? "you made me change" yea and be grateful, no one would have settled for you anyway

#aspd #actually aspd #antisocial #antisocials #aspd tag #actuallyaspd #antisocial personality disorder #antisocialpersonalitydisorder #cluster b #low empathy #npd #npd tag #actually npd #narcisistic personality disorder #actually narcissistic #narcissist

[anotheraspdrager]

sometimes i need to remind myself that shit is wrong even if it happens to me and even if it's hard to empathise with my own body

#aspd #actually aspd #antisocial #antisocials #aspd tag #actuallyaspd #antisocial personality disorder #antisocialpersonalitydisorder #cluster b #low empathy #npd #npd tag #actually npd #actually narcissistic #narcissistic personality disorder

[anotheraspdrager]

i know this is gonna sound very uwu rawr but idc can i have one (1) friend who doesn't fall in love with me and start demanding a relationship like please have you looked at me i have the emotional capability of a friheten modular sofa just enjoy the awesome sex and random attentions and stop ruining the fun

#aspd #actually aspd #antisocial #antisocials #aspd tag #actuallyaspd #cluster b #antisocial personality disorder #antisocialpersonalitydisorder #low empathy #npd #npd tag #narcissist #actually narcissistic #narcissistic personality disorder

[anotheraspdrager]

indeed i couldn't care less except i get pissed off because ofc you were insignificant to me but i definitely wasn't to you lol stop lying to yourself and just come crawling back already

People are replaceable to us. since we find it hard to bond as easily as others, it has no great affect when a person leaves. we don’t care and we ignore their entire existence.

#aspd #aspd tag #actually aspd #antisocial #antisocials #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #antisocialpersonalitydisorder #npd #actually npd #narcissist #actually narcissistic #narcissistic personality disorder

[anotheraspdrager]

you'll never convince me that empathy's a real thing, what happens is you see a person in a bad situation and imagine being in their place so you put yourself in a bad mood too, you're not "absorbing or sharing their emotions" you're just making their bad situation about you and assuming they feel the same way as your imaginary self in your imaginary scenario, and you may get it right sometimes but without any guarantee exactly because there's no actual connection between the two emotional states

edit: check the comments before replying thx

#aspd #actually aspd #actuallyaspd #antisocial #antisocials #aspd tag #cluster b #low empathy #antisocial personality disorder #antisocialpersonalitydisorder #npd #npd tag #npd thoughts #empathy #empaths #actually narcissistic #narcissist #narcissistic personality disorder

[anotheraspdrager]

ASPD culture is not understanding why people freak out about the idea of dead human bodies because it's just meat. It used to be alive and now it isn't. You wouldn't freak out about the idea of roadkill, would you? What's the difference

aspd-culture is

[anotheraspdrager]

Hey I saw your post about low empathy and kindness and I was wondering what the "normal" reasons to be kind are. I thought those were the main reasons people were kind.

I'm answering this from my understanding as a pwASPD & NPD, so bear with me here.

Prosocial people, or those who have the social instincts that antisocial people like myself lack, generally don't have to think about being kind.

They're not kind because they've worked through things cognitively and come to the conclusion that following the social contract will get them better results, or more succinctly, "it's what you're supposed to do".

They're not kind because they like being thanked, although that feels good and is generally expected, particularly if someone went out of their way for you.

Being kind can and often does make them feel good, but they're not being kind with the intent of achieving that feeling.

They're not kind because the other person showed them kindness first.

For people who have those internal social instincts... being kind isn't a problem they have to work through, like it is for people like me. They just intuitively follow those unwritten social contracts. It's easy for them.

This doesn't mean that people with empathy, that prosocial and egotypical people are always kind. Their pitfall is that since they don't think about being kind, who they choose to be kind to will be influenced by internal biases. It just means that being kind, for them, has no internal motivation. It's kindness for kindness' sake.

That last part is why I made that positivity post. We often get told that our kindness, because it has secondary motivations, is lesser. That we're being manipulative for choosing to be kind even when it goes against our very nature. We didn't choose to be this way, we didn't choose to live in a body that has no care for anyone but itself, and we chose kindness anyways. I think that effort deserves recognition.

If someone else reading this thinks I'm "congratulating people for the bare minimum", I'd like to remind them of all the posts that celebrate physically disabled people being able to take showers even when they're at their worst. To do the dishes, or laundry. To make dinner. The only difference here is that it's mental illness instead of physical disability. NPD and ASPD are disabilities. Their struggles, and their success in spite of those struggles, deserve celebration as much as any other disability.

Please note, anon, that none of that last paragraph was directed at you. I don't think you think that way. I hope you have a lovely rest of your day/night.

[anotheraspdrager]

i saw a kid throwing a tantrum and asked my mom if i used to scream cry like that, she said no i never made a scene but i'd just use all the words i had ever heard to explain/coerce my parents that we absolutely needed that toy or whatever, and got very upset if they didn't comply soon with my requests so i'd go on for hours and start guilt tripping them and such

i wish i'd remember my thought processes because i find it hard to believe i was exhibiting aspd/npd traits at 4 years old but i also don't see any kid act like that? is it a common behavior for antisocial children or was i just talkative and kinda weird for some reasons?

#aspd #actually aspd #aspd tag #antisocial #antisocials #antisocial personality disorder #antisocialpersonalitydisorder #actuallyaspd #cluster b #low empathy #actually npd #npd #npd tag #narcissistic personality disorder

[anotheraspdrager]

i can't believe people start relationships mostly based on the feelings they have for others, like what do you mean you're dating them just because you love them? maybe they're even horrible but you can't break up with them because of ??love??? is it all that matters to you? and i'm not saying this because i don't feel emotions that much, but because i still have many more criteria to decide if i want someone in my life or not (and it involves things like 'are they a good person, are they worthy, do they have something special, do they make sense to me' etc), i really can't fathom just stopping at the feeling or even feeling shit without being able to rationally explain why you chose them and not anybody else

#antisocial personality disorder #antisocialpersonalitydisorder #aspd #actually aspd #antisocial #antisocials #aspd tag #cluster b #actuallyaspd #low empathy #actually npd #npd thoughts #npd #narcissistic personality disorder #actually narcissistic