wanderinglotus7

[wanderinglotus7]

Nightviews from the 13th floor

#hotel #night vibes #amazement #salt lake city

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City Creek mall

#shopping #sightseeing

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My first burlesque show at Why KIKI bar

#burlesque #drag show #new experiences #nightlife #good times

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Polar Bear at Utah’s Hogel Zoo

#wildlife #zootopia #childhood #fun times

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Salt Lake City Part II

#travel #foodforthesoul #spring #mormon #beautiful #tourist

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Salt Lake City Part I

#solo travel #new experiences #utah

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Mormon Country

Today is my last day in Salt Lake City, Utah, and I don’t want to leave. The city is beautiful with its lovely mountain landscape and bright colored tulips springing from the ground. I came at a good time because the weather feels like Spring. In one direction, I see snow covering the mountain tops. In the other direction, I see hues of browns, tans, & greens in the distance. My view from my hotel room made my stay even more pleasant. This was my first time staying at a 4/5 star hotel. I’m glad to have this experience alone because I really got to enjoy the space. Sleeping in a different bed in a new place hits differently. I’m glad I took the opportunity to come out here.

The main reason I came to SLC is to attend my first Anti-Human Trafficking Conference. Since I registered for this conference I kept my mind open because I didn’t know what to expect. For a 2 day conference, the organizers (Freedom Network USA), packed in lots of workshops. When it came to selecting my workshops, I chose ones that the subject matters were little known to me and unfamiliar to the scope of work I do with Adelante. I spoke to a view people, but I mainly moved around on my own (not too much of a big deal). It seemed like the underlying theme was centered around or related to labor trafficking which was refreshing because I think the movement is hyper focused on sex trafficking and other forms of sexual exploitation. First, I regretted signing up for the Young Professionals workshop, but now, I’m glad I didn’t change my mind. I got some helpful information and good insight to how others in my field have encountered similar challenges in the work environment as me, and everyone in the room were in their 20s. However, I feel even more confused thinking about next steps related to my career. Adelante has become a job and not much as a career for me. I’m still passionate working in the anti-trafficking movement, though I wonder if I want to change landscape like doing the same work outside of the health/medical field.

Though the days were long, I was able to explore the city at the end of the day. I visited all things Mormon like the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints temple and tabernacle; LSD Conference Center, the Temple’s botanical garden, and the LSD museum (more like walked passed it). I received a few compliments on my prayer sweatshirt. SLC is seen as this overly conservative religious place. Yet, I ended up at a bar called WHY KIKI and attended my first (drag) burlesque show. I enjoyed myself! It was like a mash up between the movie Burlesque and RePaul’s Drag Show. A round of applause for the women & men who performed that night I know I couldn’t go on stage display my body like that. Like the hosts said, “Every body is a Beautiful body”. I walked around some more & walked through the City Creek mall, and spent the rest of my last day exploring Utah’s Hogel Zoo. I was considering visiting the Great Salt Lake, but honestly, I didn’t want to go by myself (maybe next time…).

I have to flight out in the morning. I’m treading it because I have nothing to come home to. I’m going back to a city I’m not too fond of. I’m going back to an apartment where my bedroom is the only piece of me. I’m going back to a job that I have a complicated relationship with. I guess the good news is that after two weeks of being back, I’ll be off again. This time heading South to South Carolina. I can cross off visiting the West Coast. Next time I’ll be on this side again is to visit Adelena and/or Miranda if they are still stationed in California.

Pictures & Videos soon to come…

#travel #human trafficking awareness #human trafficking #salt lake city #solo travel #back to reality #nature

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Ladies & Gentlemen, We Have An ANSWER

Good news & bad news, I received an answer for most of my health issues I've been experiencing for the past 2.5 years. I met with Dr. Sivanandy last Wednesday to discuss my results from a MRI scan I did about two weekends ago. Nobody wants to hear this, but it could be worse...the scan showed that I have a tiny tumor on my pituitary gland. It's called a pituitary adenoma which is a slow-growing tumor of the pituitary gland that isn't cancer and often doesn't spread beyond the brain. Some pituitary adenomas cause symptoms by making too much of one or more hormones. So, this tiny tumor is the cause for my body producing extra cortisol (the stress hormone) and possibly contributing to my PCOS symptoms. My best treatment option is surgery.

Before everything got this far, I had an inkling that I was probably gonna have to get surgery after the first time Dr. S was discussing other possible diagnosis that could be disrupting my body's hormone production. I'm glad it's not my kidneys because that would be a whole different conversation. The next step is having a consultation with a specialized pituitary team to discuss the procedure like the pros & cons and recovery is gonna look like. Because I don't have anyone around close to help me if I need the extra help once I get discharged from the hospital. I ended up feeling overwhelmed, not just from this news, but the entire day was overwhelming because my workday ended up being thrown off by lots of other things that unexpectedly happened. This was just icing on the cake. I told my mom, my dad, and my Grandmother. I told my brother yesterday.

This is really weird for me because I really don't share with other people my business often especially when it comes to my physical health. So, my mom wanting me to call this person and that person doesn't sit well with me. In addition, I still need time to process this new reality for myself. When I came home on Wednesday, I just didn't want to talk to anyone, and I believe I went to bed early. I was tired but tired from the week anyway. Some days I find myself repeating in my head that "I have a tumor". It's true, I do. I'm blessed that the tumor isn't cancer and that it's not bigger than what it is. Once the tumor is removed, I hope this means that everything else I want in my life will still be a high possibility for me. No more excess facial hair. No more irregular periods. Less challenging when it comes to losing weight. This is another reason why I haven't left BIDMC because of all the specialty care that I'm in need of resides within the BILH healthcare system.

For some people, learning that she/he has a tumor (cancer or not) would mean doomsday. However, I don't see it that way. This isn't my moment of realizing that I need to live life to the fullest. Actually, I've been living my life to the fullest at different periods in my life. God forbid something were to happen to me, I think I would be satisfied with the life I'm currently living. It would just suck that my first romantic relationship would be me my last relationship. I want more or better when it comes to my romantic relationships. I was able to attend my top choices of colleges. I obtained the highest degree for myself. I've been to Southeast Asia and Central America. I wrote a poetry book. I entered my first poetry chapbook contest. I moved away from home and lived/living in two major cities (Bangkok and Boston). I have a job working in the Anti-trafficking field which I always envisioned for myself. I still have some of my family and friends in my life. I'm going to be doing more domestic traveling. I'm still open to love. My mental, spiritual, and physical well-being is pretty much okay. I have the peace and stability I prayed for. I'm enjoying living a simple slow-paced life!

#peace #pcosawareness #health and wellness #healing #acceptance #optimistic #prayer #live life #no regrets

[wanderinglotus7]

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Today marks my one year anniversary of being a licensed clinical social worker. This career path has been one heck of a journey. Onwards to my LICSW.

#social work #career journey #hard work

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“For we walk by faith, not by sight.”

2 Corinthians 5:7

#blessed #theholyspirit #keep the faith #christianity #no worries #peace

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I appreciated reading this book. Another book about feminism, yet with a Black perspective. Not only a Black perspective, but from a voice of someone who identifies as a Fat Black Queer Woman. I don’t necessarily identify myself in that way, but I loved how this author spoke true on how she navigates in this world. Speaking the truth in acknowledging and embodying our intersectionality. Who knew there is such a thing called Trap feminism. If trap feminism means I can be me without giving 2 f**ks of what others think of me…sign me up!

I am a Christian Black Feminist Demisexual Woman who is intelligent, independent, compassionate, and adventurous who is also a counselor, a storyteller, an advocate, a prayer warrior, and a bookworm who loves her music and probably the realest person you’ll ever meet.

HERE ARE MY TAKEAWAYS:

“Generally speaking, Black people do have a higher tolerance for body fat on feminine bodies than other groups do. But thick and fat are not the same thing. White beauty norms will always find themselves a seat at the table, even ours, and that includes vicious fat phobia.”

“For those of us who are most marginalized, beauty actually becomes a tool that can be used to defend ourselves against racism, sexism, transphobia, classism, etc.”

“Multiple studies have concluded that Black women and girls have higher rates of self-esteem and confidence than other female groups. Confidence is waiting on the other side of choosing to keep it real with yourself, choosing to heal some shit, choosing to humble yourself.”

“Maintaining your standards means saying no to people, places, and things that don’t serve you.”

“Economic mobility is a bit of a myth in that it’s often dangled in front of Black folks as the key to a better life, but without context, nuance, or a blueprint.”

“Our bodies are heavily surveilled and our behaviors unfairly policed out of fear that we will misuse our sexuality. We’re expected to protect ourselves from abusers, and it’s us who are held accountable when we are abused. We’re denied the right to innocence before we’re old enough to know what it means.”

“Our own internalized anti-Blackness has led us to believe that Black excellence comes only in the form of heterosexual marriage, kids, and wealth building. Because our survival as Black folks in Westernized culture often depends on our ability and willingness to succeed under these moral codes, we’ve embraced those heteronormative, binary rules and incorrectly processed them as part of some natural order.”

“ The reasons and methods used to shame Black women for their choices in sex, dating, and relationships are endless. Black women can no longer afford to be martyrs, healers, parents, or scapegoats in our relationships. I’M NOT A THERAPIST, A BUSINESS MENTOR, A LIFE COACH, OR A CRISIS MANAGER. I AM NOT TAKING ON ANY OF THOSE ROLES TO DATE SOMEONE. I WANT A LOVER, NOT A JOB.”

“Friendship is how you get really good practice in empathy, healthy conflict resolution, and to build and be in community. It’s how you learn to appreciate community so that you’re not headed into your other relationships expecting one person to be your everything.”

#life lessons #black feminism #lgbtq community #confidence #booklover #bookstagram #grown and sexy #strong women #wisdom #black authors

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#black queen #women’s history month #inspire #black girls rock #self confidence

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Black history: Did you know?

Phillis Wheatley was only 12 when she became the first female African American author published.

Despite Phyllis Wheatley’s fame, we know surprisingly little about her early life. She was taken from her home in Africa when she was seven or eight, and sold to the Wheatley family in Boston. The family taught her to read and write, and encouraged her to write poetry as soon as they witnessed her talent for it. In 1773, Phyllis published her first poem, making her the first African American to be published. She was only 12 at the time.

Read more: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poets/phillis-wheatley

#black history #american history #black excellence #black girls rock #black history month #black poets matter #black girl magic

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I bought this book back in 2021 after watching the film: In Our Mothers’ Garden (Netflix). I can say that Brittany Cooper impacted me in so many ways especially at a time I was discovering for myself what it means to be a Black Woman. Not only what it means to be a Black Woman, but what it means to be a Black Feminist Woman in today’s society. I give this book a 10/10.

#bookstagram #black feminism #self discovery

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" Being a Black Woman writer is not a shallow place but a rich place to write from. It doesn't limit my imagination; it expands it." Toni Morrison

#toni morrison #writers #black girl magic #black history #legend

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“ You treat them like they have heart like yours but not everyone can be as soft and as tender. You don’t see the person they are, you see the person they have the potential to be. You give and give till they pull everything out of you and leave you empty.” Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur

#poetry #heartbreak #rupi kaur #true and honest #healing