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voxpeople · 7 days

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TV Review: "David Attenborough: I Hate Animals"

Sunday 7pm, BBC

The veteran wildlife broadcaster's new series goes in a surprising new direction from his past efforts. Here Attenborough explains why he has now gone off the natural world and spends the hour shouting obscenities at bears and trying to lure otters onto busy roads.

Despite it not being the series many had hoped for, it is much better than having to hear Attenborough banging on about the environment and climate change lies.

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voxpeople · 11 days

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WokeWatch: 100 Days to Go to Paris "WokeLympics"

For a long time now sport has been under attack by woke liberals complaining about everything from inclusion to events being too harsh on athletes - unfortunately that wokeness has now infected the Olympic Games.

Held in Paris, the 2024 edition will be awarding medals to men and lady athletes, making it the most woke Olympics ever.

There are now 100 days to go until the Paris games are to get underway, but the organizers' insistence on being woke are not making for an exciting sporting prospect, and some are even considering a boycott of the games altogether.

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voxpeople · 1 month

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Baltimore Bridge Collapse Is Somehow Joe Biden's Fault

Maybe his economic policies meant the bridge was poorly constructed or left unrepaired. Maybe his memory problems led to him forgetting to order maintenance on the bridge. Maybe it was brought down by immigrants who crossed the border. Maybe it was Hunter. It's not clear how yet but the fall of the Key Bridge is unquestionably the fault of Joe Biden.

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voxpeople · 1 month

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Vladimir Putin and Vaughan Gething: Who is the Greatest Threat to Democracy?

This week saw two men both become head of government: Vladimir Putin in Russia and Vaughan Gething in Wales. To compare and contrast the two is startling and could paint a grim picture of what's to come in future.

One is a career politician re-elected as president through democratic process, the other is an unknown subversive with a shady past and who ascended to power bypassing the will of the people, and potentially through coercion of the Welsh national assembly.

One had the potential to turn around a country in turmoil. The other could possibly lead theirs to complete and total ruin and potentially cause a knock-on effect, doing the same in the UK and beyond.

Both enter office now under different levels of scrutiny, with one viewed as being a very real danger to democracy and it has nothing to do with the fact that he has become the first black leader of a European country.

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voxpeople · 2 months

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Questions Asked After Mainstream Media Fooled by False Kate Middleton Picture

Opinion: The fact that the mainstream media were fooled by the obvious photoshop in the picture released by Buckingham Palace claiming to be of Kate Middleton (above), despite a highly altered appearance, shows clear bias and their shocking inability to report on the facts.

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voxpeople · 2 months

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Red Bull F1 Team Address Allegations By No Longer Hiring Women

Women will no longer be employed by Red Bull Formula One team, and all current female employees will have their contracts terminated immediately, in an effort by the organization to prevent further allegations of 'inappropriate behaviour' following those made against team boss Christian Horner.

Announcing the decision a spokesperson for Red Bull Racing said: "If there are no women employed by the Red Bull Formula One team, this will ensure there will be no further accusations of inappropriateness being made against anyone."

#joke #satire #attempt at humor #humour #parody #topical humour #this is a joke #red bull racing #red bull f1 #formula 1 #formula one #christian horner #geri horner #me too #max verstappen #red bull team #red bull formula 1 #red bull

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voxpeople · 3 months

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In Short: Post Office Pledges Give Tories Lead in Polls by 100%

A recent poll shows that pledges made by the Conservative party and leader Rish! Sunak to ensure justice for those effected by the Post Office Horizon scandal now sees them with an unassailable lead of 100% over Labour.

This comes in stark contrast to their declining popularity and public outrage in the party after numerous scandals and shortcomings since being returned to office in 2019.

These numbers show newfound overwhelming public approval in the current government and the Conservatives now look to retain and even improve their majority in this year's general election.

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voxpeople · 3 months

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Opinion: Raducanu Had the Best Mindset and Attitude, Which Makes Her a Winner

Despite "losing" in round two of the Australialand Open to a Chinese player, 2021 US Open Champion Emma Raducanu showed far more mental toughness and positive attitude than her opponent, saying afterwards that "There was no way I was going to pull out. She was going to have to beat me - and she did."

The way she carries the flag for British Tennis and said that she would not quit midway through her match makes her the winner of the entire tournament, regardless of how the established scoring system in sports insists the athlete with the best results is supposedly victorious.

The fact that any other competitor in the tournament now feels able to claim victory over her shows what a biased joke organized sport has become.

#joke #satire #attempt at humor #humour #topical humour #parody #sports jokes #sports #tennis #australian open #emma raducanu #british #team gb #australian open 2024 #uk #uk sport #sport

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voxpeople · 3 months

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WokeWatch: Nostalgia Ruined by PC Reboot of Gladiators

Continuing the BBC's streak of pushing their wokeist agenda on the UK, the channel's reboot of the hit nineties show 'Gladiators' includes female competitors alongside men. Worse still the new cast of Gladiators is made up entirely of millennials of multiple races and backgrounds. The show could even be accused of ageism for excluding those featured on the original show. Even Bradley Walsh as host can not save our nostalgia for the original series from being ruined by the BBC's tiresome insistence on being politically correct.

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voxpeople · 3 months

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Future News: President Biden Survives 48th Impeachment Attempt

From January 15th 2034

US president Ashley Biden has survived a record forty-eighth attempt by republicans to impeach her from office in just her first year in the role.

The daughter of former president Joe Biden made history when she followed in her father's footsteps to become the first female US president.

However she has been frequently met with accusations and allegations from opposition republicans of abusing her power of office, despite having no real evidence to prove any wrongdoing.

This time while the vote to impeach went through, Miss Biden was again not removed from office after artists impressions of her soliciting money from terrorists or something and rumors heard in bars that she had done so were both ruled as "inadmissible evidence."

Despite this setback, Republicans are confident that by next week's impeachment attempt will have the proof they need to finally achieve their goal of removing the Democratic president from power.

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voxpeople · 4 months

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UK Cuts Cost of Military Aid to Ukraine By Siding With Putin

The UK government is expected to calm concerns over the rising costs of continued military support for Ukraine in their ongoing conflict with Russia by announcing they will instead pledge their allegiance to the Russian regime.

This comes in the midst of news that other countries have been pausing their aid efforts for the embattled Ukraine as they attempt to hold off an offensive on the east of the country. This will make the UK the biggest ally of Russia and could change the future trajectory and outcome of the war.

#joke #attempt at humor #satire #humour #parody #topical humour #political satire #tories out #political humor #rishi sunak #vladimir putin #fuck putin #war in ukraine #ukraine #stand with ukraine #russo ukrainian war #uk politics #uk government #corruption

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voxpeople · 4 months

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Ncuti Gatwa Named "Worst Person Who Ever Lived"

Shortly after his debut as the Fifteenth Doctor in Doctor Who, actor Ncuti Gatwa has been named the Worst Person Who Ever Lived. Though facing stern competition from others in the running for the title, the Rwandan-born actor was the runaway winner of the poll.

Despite the obvious result, organizers of the poll have come under fire for the timing of the vote and result coinciding with Gatwa's first episode as The Doctor, and have denied accusations that his race or sexuality in any way played a part in the decision.

#joke #attempt at humor #satire #humour #parody #topical humour #doctor who #fifteenth doctor #ncuti gatwa #lgbtqia #worst person in the world #vote #polls #millie gibson #the doctor #racism #homophobia

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voxpeople · 4 months

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ITV Announce Celebrity Version of "I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!"

Full statement from ITV:

"Since it first started, I'm a Celebrity... has been one of the biggest annual TV highlights for millions in the UK. The Australian rainforest will now be seeing plenty of glitz and glamour, as a new celebrity version of one of the nation's favourite shows will be coming soon to ITV and ITVX.

"All the usual formats points of the show will still feature, but now it's famous faces from the world of entertainment who will be finding themselves cut off from society in the bush, with regular hosts Ant and Dec putting them through the famous Bushtucker Trials in an attempt to win the approval of their camp mates and the Great British general public, who will decide who which of the celebrity contestants will be crowned Celebrity King or Queen* of the Jungle"

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voxpeople · 4 months

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Warner Bros. Announce 'Wonka' Sequel and Spin-Offs

Following the success of their holiday release, Warner Bros. Discovery have confirmed a sequel to Wonka is in the works.

Timothee Chalamet is set to reprise the title role in the follow-up, which will reportedly see an older Willy Wonka allowing children on a rare visit to his secretive chocolate factory.

A number of spin-off series focusing on each of the Oompa-Loompas is also said to be starting production soon, with the announcement of its cancellation to follow.

#joke #attempt at humor #humour #satire #parody #topical humour #wonka #wonka 2023 #willy wonka #wonka movie #timothée chalamet #timothee chamalet #hugh grant #hugh grant&039;s oompa loompa sings and flies in new &039;wonka&039; trailer #oompa loompa #warner bros #warner bros discovery

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voxpeople · 5 months

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More Remote Location Sought As Sending Refugees to Rwanda "Doesn't Go Far Enough"

UK Prime Minister Rish! Sunak is said to be considering revising his flagship policy, after members of his own party have said sending refugees awaiting processing to Rwanda "doesn't go far enough."

A shortlist of potential substitute countries further away than Rwanda is thought to have been drawn up. Included on it are El Salvador, Venezuela, the Philippines and Myanmar, currently in the grip of civil war.

Tory ministers are also thought to be devising plans to launch refugees into space and keep them on a newly established penal colony on the moon, at an estimated cost of over £10 billion.

#joke #attempt at humor #satire #humour #parody #topical humour #political satire #tories out #political humor #rishi sunak #tory policies break international law #rwanda #refugees #refugees have rights #refugees are welcome #the moon #venezuela #myanmar

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voxpeople · 5 months

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Elon Musk Reveals Plans to Buy Santa's Workshop

With the holiday season approaching, the bored billionaire intends to make the North Pole workshop of Father Christmas, where toys are made for good children all over the world, his latest business acquisition.

Upon takeover the workshop, to be rebranded as XStore, would do away with the Naughty and Nice Lists and instead children would have to pay to receive presents, regardless of how good they have been throughout the year.

Musk is also believed to be planning to downsize and revamp the operation, with mass layoffs expected of the elves who make the toys and new Tesla vehicles will be used to deliver them to recipients on Xmas Eve, formerly Christmas Eve.

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voxpeople · 5 months

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Suella Braverman Begins Hibernation for Winter

After a long, busy year spent pursuing policies to rid the last remaining rights to refugees and homeless people among others and exploring extremist rhetoric, former home secretary Suella Braverman (pictured) has entered into hibernation - a state of minimal activity to preserve energy throughout winter months - along with all the other mud-dwelling rodents that live in the UK.

#joke #attempt at humor #satire #humour #parody #topical humour #political satire #tories out #suella de vil #suella braverman #shrewella braverman #hibernation #i wish i could hibernate #i wanna hibernate #shrew #animals #cute animals #rishi sunak #james cleverly

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