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bermansimon · 3 years

Text

Kate Schmidt/female reader

Request

dayy-dreamerrs

dude i have literally no ideas but queer!kate bc im attached to her and im fruity 😩

(sorry this took so long I hope u enjoy!!)

The second Kate passed you the cheerleading outfit, your mind fell into a blissful daze. Briefly, your hands grazed against each other.

Your pink, increasingly red cheeks didn’t go unnoticed to Kate. Her soft smile made yours only grow, until there is a cough from Simon across the room, smirking at the two of you.

“Eat shit,” Kate growls, promptly showing her middle finger to him as you stand there, amused. “Sorry, Y/N. Feel free to change in the bathroom, let me know if you need any help and I'll come find you.”

She smiles, before walking away to Simon.

You stand there for a moment, watching her, before rushing away to the female bathroom as directed. You laid your backpack on the closed toilet seat, before stripping down your clothes and easily sliding into the blue costume. It hugged your body in a way you hoped Kate’s eyes would stay on you.

After shoving your previously worn clothes into your backpack, you walked out of the stall and stared in the mirror. The zip at the back wasn’t closed, your pink bra underneath revealed to the other girls scattered around the bathroom. Girls who were too busy smoking, vaping or purely gossiping to notice you were asking for help.

You sigh, throw your coat on over the outfit, before walking towards the gym once again. This time, all eyes on you. All mouths motioning your name.

“Kate?” You call out quietly.

Suddenly, the dark-haired girl jumped out from behind the bleachers, Simon following behind her. She gives you a smile and rushes towards you.

“You look great!” She beams, “Have you zipped up?”

“No, I...” Your face went pink, “None of the girls in the bathroom would help me so I just came back here - is that okay? I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, Y/N.”

“Okay...”

You drop your bag and coat onto the ground, before facing the opposite way from Kate. Your eyes are shut. One of her hands rest on your hip, pulling the outfit down and she uses the other hand to push up the zip.

Once ready, she spins you around and places her hands on your shoulders, your faces just inches apart.

Kate senses your anxiety, and lowers her arms, “Everything will be okay. Are you nervous about starting cheerleading? It’s really not overly complex.”

“No, I’m nervous about you..do you think people will judge me?” You end up saying, before covering your embarrassed face. Standing close to you, was Kate. The girl you’ve adored admired for months on end, and you were expressing your concerns about getting bullied.

Unexpectedly, Kate didn’t laugh. Instead, she wrapped her arms around your waist and rested her chin on your shoulder. “Nobody will judge me when I'm with you. if they do, I’ll murder them.”

You laugh, “You would murder them for me?”

“Of course. I would do anything for one of my cheerleaders - we’re like a family now,” Kate pulls away enough for your faces to meet, her hands are still resting on your waist as she smiles at you, “And for the record, I doubt anyone would talk bad about you wearing that. Seriously, you’re making me question myself right now - you look beautiful, Y/N.”

The bell rang, and you internally thanked it. You and Kate parted ways after sharing one last hug, you couldn't find the words to say anything else. Looking down, you could see your hands were shaking nervously. You take a deep breath - maybe two - before walking in the direction of your next class.

Everyone was wrong. Kate was seen as heartless, but you knew that was far from the truth. At your audition, when you accidentally tripped over, Kate helped you remain focused and you finished without a second mistake. She helped you with your outfit, made you smile and complimented you so much your knees literally went weak.

Sitting in geometry, you could see Kate a few rows away. Apparently you shared more classes then you originally thought. Between you sat Deena, who was too preoccupied scribbling notes and sketches back and forth with Sam to notice anything else occurring during the class.

They came out as a couple the previous year. You almost cried when it happened - because someone was like you. And if Kate stayed friends with them before and after, she had to support that, right?

Possibly even be apart of that community, you thought to yourself.

“Y/N,” Kate whispered from her desk, she passed Deena a note, which Deena gave to you with a smirk.

Your face heats up as you open the note, reading ‘bleachers. 7 - Kate <3′

The butterflies in your stomach grow when you look up and see her blowing you a kiss. From the back of your mind you wondered if she was simply being a tease - that she somehow found out about your secret crush and enjoyed pushing you around. Except, her sincere smile made you remember this was Kate, she isn’t a bad person. She’s beautiful and smells like sweet lemons.

So, you gave her a nod, wordlessly agreeing you would be there.

You sat on the bench while the cheerleaders danced. Considering it was only your first day - you decided against participating in the big game. Primarily because you were scared of humiliation, but also because you wanted everything to go perfectly for Kate.

The game is still in progress, twenty minutes remain and you’re sitting under the bleaches as directed, a warm hot chocolate resting in your palms.

it’s 7:06 and zero sign of Kate.

Embarrassment infused you when you saw another couple making themselves comfortable metres away, practically dry-humping each other as you sat and drank your warm drink. You decided to wait a few more minutes before you left, when it reaches 7:15 you promised yourself to walk away.

And by the time 7:15 reached, you were walking out of the bleaches with tears filling up your eyes - she led you on because she had the advantage.

“Y/N?” A voice, one defiently belonging to Kate called out.

You looked around and saw her, “What?”

As a disguise, she wore an oversized jumper, a cap and baggy pants. You barely noticed it was her - but by looking at her pretty smile, it was obvious.

“I’m sorry I was late, coach was upset,” She walked closer towards you, and sat down on the ground, patting the spot beside her, “And I was getting changed into these clothes...I didn’t want anyone to see me.”

“Why?” You ask, “Are you...embarrassed of me? Are you embarrassed to be friends with me?”

Kate tilts her head and frowns, “You know that’s not it. I’m not embarrassed of you, Y/N. I’m...embarrassed of myself. Everybody knows people only come down here to be with the person they like.”

You stay quiet.

She continues, “And I like you...I barely know you, but I've seen you. In class, you're always so observant and smart. And when you got nervous talking to me I realised that maybe you're like me - so I made my move. And I showed up late, which I'm sorry for, but I just...I like you a lot.”

“Do you really?” You smile softly, “Because I like you - a lot - but I don’t want to say anything in case this is some sick prank.”

Instead of responding, Kate holds the back of your head with her hand and pushes your lips together. It’s soft, unlike the last few guys you've kissed, Kate’s lips weren't chapped or picked at. They're smooth and taste like cherry lip gloss, which she undoubtably uses.

Kate pulls away, “I'm not interested in girls.”

You frown, “Then why are you kissing me? Didn't you just confess?”

Kate smiles, and tucks a loose strand of her behind her ear, “I did, and I like you. I’m not...interested in labelling myself. I’m giving you a warning, I’m not ready for this - for us - to be public. So, if you’re not interested in being a secret for however long...tell me now.”

Despite how often you've dreamt about walking down the hallway with Kate’s hand holding your own - you remember what it’s like to be afraid of judgement. So, you press one last kiss to her cheek, “I would love to be your secret.”

“You would?”

“Yes.”

#kate schmidt #fear street #deena johnson #Sarah fier #sam fraser #sam x deena #Kate x reader #simon kalivoda #nick goode #Ziggy berman #Cindy berman #alice fear street

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mueritos · 3 years

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hi sorry can u explain to me the d slur thing? /gen like i don’t understand why it’s bad for the person to callout a nonlesbian to say the slur -🧜🏽

To be honest Im not too keen on the current idea thay reclaiming queer slurs are only meant for specific sub groups within the community. For the most part, these slurs have been weaponized against most LGBTQIA folks regardless of their identity (because for the most part, bigots can only call us generalized slurs since they are awful at clocking us, but now not so much). This is why we get issues when it comes to reclaiming certain slurs, like the F slur. While historically used against gay men, saying that it can ONLY be reclaimed by gay men doesnt sit well with me since the slur has been used against the ENTIRE community. Same with the d slur, while it has historically been used against lesbian women, there are instances of it being used againsg other LGBTQIA folks (tho prolly not to the same extent as the f slur).

A note i want to make is that queer slurs are VERY different from racial slurs in terma of reclamation. Racial slurs and queer slurs should only be reclaimed by their specific community, but we do not see the same level of reclamation gatekeeping in racial slurs than queer slurs because if youre BIPOC, theres no doubt that you have a historical connection to those slurs. But if your queer, your specific identity shapes your experience with the world, so theres a chance you may even have been exposed ro certain words or slurs, maybe not even have any weaponized against you.

That being said, I appreciate the take of “if it has been used against you to marginalize your marginalized status, you are free to reclaim it” in the context of reclaiming queer slurs. This does not mean that reclaiming a slur means it is not part of your initial vocabulary, no, it may just mean that you recognize the power of the word that you reclaimed as now your own. Also, certain slurs have already BEEN reclaimed, and therefore it is not my place to use another word for a person who wishes to be called by it. If a lesbian wants to be called the d word and is proud of it, I will refer to them as such because I recognize the power that word brings them. Keep in mind that not all queers are young, and many elder gays use “slurs” and old terms to decribe themselves, like “transexual” or “dyke” or “transvestite”.

We also need to understand the context of these words. When we call each other these slurs when around each other as a community (and it has been established that these words are okay to use for each other), they are either reclaimed or simply words, because you could argue that many of us never saw the words as anything negative in the first place, regardless of its misuse. In this context, these words bring power and community. But if someone is weaponizing that word to target a queer persons marginalized status, then that is being used as a slur. Therefore I dont think it’s appropriate to call it out within the community unless specific parties are uncomfortable with it and we DO see it as intercommunity marginialization (like maybe a lesbian that hates gay men?? i know its weird but theres a lot of hate even within the community). And yes, it is completely valid to feel uncomfortable around certain words and their use, but have a conversation about it if you can first before trying to shut down its use in someone (unless, like mentioned before, the person is literally bigoted).

I think its more meaningful to ask why certain queer people use certain words instead of telling them to stop. We need to understand that decades ago, it didnt matter whether it came out of a butch or a gay’s mouth, what mattered is that is brought community. This language discourse is a clear indicator of the lack of queer historical knowledge within contemporary queer society. I highly encourage yall to look into notable queer activists, and if youd like to start to understand the historical power “dyke” brought to the community, search up the “Gays for Dykes” movement.

This was very brief but I hope that answerwd ur question and im open to conversation about this topic! Be aware that I only have the experience of a nonbinary gay transmasc whos a white latino and all of these factors affect my view on this. Either way, I hope it helped!

#pittsanswers #queer history #lgbtq #lgbt #lgbtqia #hopefully my take is not a bad one but ive seen a lot of older gays share the same opinion #also i wrote this on mobile so if there are mistakes sorry

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scarsmood · 3 years

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Mental Health and Otherkinity

This is my panel I did today! enjoy! it’s the script

My name is scar im apart of a system of 4, I am mightyenakin from pokemon. Trans ftm and very queer. We have a lot to go over so lets jump in.

Today I want to talk about my experience with being psychological kin. Talk about how this has shaped me as a person. How the community handles psychological kin as well as the greater outside world. So lets get into it. Otherkinity has been in my life ever since I can remember. From the age of 3 I can remember feeling non human and having alters that were also non human. I’ve also found for my life and my experience my mental health and my otherkinity are two things that have wound themselves together. I can never look at one without the other are both play a critical role in my identity.

I can say as psychological otherkin right now I stand at an interesting intersection of my life where I have the most freedom I have ever had and dealing with the worst trauma I’ve had to face. I recently got out of a bad long term relationship of something I had been in for 7 years. I can say the events I’ve lived did and still do directly impact my identity and change how I see myself.

for me I cannot explore my otherkinity without exploring my trauma and mental health

these two parts of myself are closely woven together. DID is a product of trauma and it’s something that rules over my life daily.

It is something I don’t just accommodate it is a way of life for me.

For the past 3 years I’ve been in intensive therapy going at least once every two weeks. At one point going twice a week, completed an inpatient and outpatient program. Needless to say I have been fortunate enough to not be in a lot of debt. However I would like to think that these things have helped me immensely. With the background talk out of the way lets get into how these things have shaped my identity.

A little bit about me. I am diagnosed with DID or dissociative identity disorder. This means my identity is split apart between alters or alternate personalities. If your unfamiliar with plurality I can say with confidence that can be its own talk but heres what you need to know.

• My alters are distinct each having their own morals, ideals, life perspective, lived experiences and memories separate from my own.

• We all share one body like roommates share an apartment space

• My alters are a result of trauma I experienced during my life. Each of us hold our share of trauma so imaging trauma is sandbags instead of 1 person holding 100 pounds of sand we have given 25 pounds of sand to 4 alters. Which is much more manageable.

• My alters including me were shaped from the environment they came from

· Alters also share an inner world where they can interact with one another. This also a place where I can easily my identity and how I view myself internally.

Some others fun things about me is I have some mild psychotic symptoms. Since I’m in my early 20’s they’re pretty manageable at the moment I am always keeping an eye out for them worsening though. These things include hallucinations visual, auditory, touch, smell, taste. I also have a weird mix of beliefs that can mix into delusion territory but aren’t damaging to my life and therefore cant really place a good label on them. So I consider them delusional like but not the same experience as a true delusion I believe I could very much be wrong.

my first identity shift was when I was a child about 3 years old was the first time me as an alter became prominently separate from our host. It was apparently at that time I was non human and a hyena. I looked like a hyena from lion king roughly no character in particular and acted as a companion/ friend.

When I got a bit older at 4-5 my identity shifted once I moved and left behind some family. I changed from a hyena to a pokemon. If I could guess I would say due to a pokemons inherent loyalty. My identity became a mightyena a wolfish hyena basically and the codependency that pokemon carry also carried over.

I was depended on to be support for our host and to take care of them as a friend and caretaker. We experienced neglect at the time and this was reflected with my identity. I was a creature that was supposed to stay with someone forever basically giving a comfort we were missing to our host so they could continue functioning. I would say my identity changes based on my environment and is sensitive to my environment all the time

depending on what I experience I see myself change and adapt because of how sensitive we are as a system trying to adapt in the world around us. I often think if my identity isn’t shifting a little it might be a sign of trouble and us shutting down being unable to adapt and change.

When I was 5-6 it changed to its own species a threatening wolf. Which it stayed until a few months ago. My identity as a threatening wolf changed a lot I had spikes then got a sword tail then was able to breathe fire, my size would shift and change, my tail length and ability to move it would change. Teeth, eye color, would all change depending on my environment. For example when I was deep in abuse with my ex I gained the ability to breathe fire suddenly as a needed adaption to scare them away. My eyes turned red to look scarier. I got bigger. This all happened internally as my ex was able to interact within our system in our inner world. Which is a terrible idea by the way don’t be an idiot like me. Which was why I needed to look scarier as a way of protection

Lately I have been healing from trauma and now that my ex is gone so is a lot of pressure to defend myself so I turned back into a mightyena which is much more defenseless but much truer to how I see myself in a safe space. Im sure if trauma happened again I would shift back to a threatening wolf as a means for protection. When it comes to plurality labels I fall under protector and host we are pretty integrated though so we have grown out of most typical labels due to how functional each of us are now.

This concept of a changing identity is taboo in otherkin communities

usually we are lead to believe when we were kids we have always been one strict animal for our whole lives and just now learning about it. this animal never changes it is static unchanging and we simply learn about it as we grow up. My experience has been wholly different. My animal and my identity changes based on my environment it can be subtle or drastic. I never evoke or ask for the changes they simply happen and I have to adapt to the new way I see myself. Trying to apply my identity to the common otherkin rhetoric gave me a lot of grief as a teenager

when I was about 13 because I would discover something about myself say breathing fire or growing in size and be ashamed because I knew these changes were not “typical”

as an aside I think this notion that my experience is atypical is also false. I think this is fairly common but a lot of otherkin just handle it in a way that flows with the static concept where we learn we have a new kin type but still also have the old one, we learn something about our kin type that totally shifts it but connect it back to our old kin type, we find new features, personality traits or experiences that now define our kintype that were never there before and newly discovered

Otherkinity is about self discovery and how it’s essentially chasing a dragon. Literally. We will never fully know our internal identity no matter how closely we look into it. there is so much that we learn and how to weave into our identity otherkintiy is as much of an art as it is a science when it comes to self reflection. It’s just like any other aspect of ourselves we can create labels for our sexuality and they work but they don’t capture 100% of what you experience theyre a short hand for others. I find that otherkinity is this concept on steroids. I find my identity to be a much larger part as it impacts everything including my sexuality it is more prominent for me so trying to put it under labels becomes increasingly difficult.

How are we supposed to create a short hand for who we are? All of those moving pieces inside of us that shape our perspective, experiences, how we interact with people, how we love people, how we go through day to day life, and we are supposed to just say something like “bear therian” what if it changes? What if we have quirks that our outside of this label? When I first joined the otherkin community it was pretty frowned upon to change your identity. You had to be a wolf therian, you had to be a dragonkin. Once you picked a label that was it. your locking into your identity if you didn’t you weren’t taken seriously.

Ableism in the otherkin community

I question as well if this correlation between identity stability and maturity/credibility is ableism. Usually I noticed when I first join the therian and otherkin community there was a push for “not looking crazy” so as to not get bullied further for identities. I’m sure anyone in the LGBT community knows trying to please people making fun of you really doesn’t work. There is a prominent fear of seeming to outsiders as if were roleplaying or kinning for fun which seems to be a whole other topic in and of itself. My personal experience has lead me to the conclusion that these people are going to come at you regardless of how often you shift your identity, how seriously or goofy you take it, how analytical you are with your identity whether you write essays or one sentence it does not change the views of outsiders.

Endels, clinical lycanthropes, and other nonhumans who have mental illness-based identities face a similar ableism. It wasn’t until earlier this year, 2021, when the connection between mental illness and nonhumanity was finally accepted by the greater community. But even still, Endelic communities are more often treated as a novelty; not something to be taken seriously as an identity, just something “interesting.” Mental illness, especially psychotic disorders, aren’t pretty or tame, and the greater nonhuman community appears to subtly enforce this stigma. Werewolves are monsters, and the greater community spares no feelings in reminding us of this, with such unwelcome words my friend babydog’s met as and I paraphrase a quote here from my friend baby dog “you’re welcome here, but you should expect people to uncomfortable about your identity as an endel or question your endelity. I dont personally believe people like you should be part of alterhuman communities.” End quote Many of those who are part of the greater alterhuman community are still concerned about respectability politics, how we appear to outsiders, rather than being concerned about how inner-community members are finding their welcome. Arguments like “But, clinical lycanthropy was previously used as ammunition against all Otherkin! We’re playing into anti-kin’s stereotypes!” isn’t an excuse anymore, because throwing your own community under the bus isn’t acceptable anymore. We want a higher standard in this community than being driven by shame that makes us hide members of our own community. It’s much better to stand with them.

Lets also take a moment to acknowledge these actions stemmed from an act of seeming more credible and not “crazy”. I’d like to say also that the stereotype of crazy doesn’t exist when we think of crazy we think of someone whose mentally Ill and struggling to function. In reality these people have an untreated mental illness or going through an episode that’s only one aspect of a person. They do other things with their life including myself. I write poems and go out with friends but if someone only judged me at my worst and lowest I would fit into this “crazy” stereotype. Its not fair for us to judge people based on actions they cant control. Based on trauma or brain chemistry people are more than that I think can agree.

we should be understanding with these people treating them as whole people not just one descriptor. crazy is really just a derogatory name for someone with a mental illness. So to avoid being crazy means to avoid any signs of neurodiversity people view as abnormal. Or signs of nonconformity with nuerotypicals

-endels still face ableism typically in the form of being treated like a novelty and not really being taken seriously. Endels are still getting called interesting a lot) and it makes them feel like a specimen within their own community. I’m sure those who suffer from mental illness understand how degrading it is to be looked at as some sort of test subject or lab rat. I think as a community we can do better and be more accepting and open to all forms of otherkinity. Shutting down this kinda of language would be great for endel otherkin.

-endels are still having to deal with other community members who use psychotic/delusional/etc as insults or jokey words. These words are derogatory and insulting they shouldn’t be said as insults or jokes there are plenty of other words that could be used and it pushes endels and otherkin with psychotic symptoms away from the larger community. Using this language shows an ignorance to the ableism still alive and active towards endels.

-none of this helps internalized ableism!! All the actions described above only reinforce internalized ablism. This creates a combative and toxic environment for endels and otherkin with psychotic symptoms. It would be in our best interest as a community to help bring down ableism and be more aware of what were saying and to who.

Some things to keep in mind

-treating psychotics like they cant make their own choices is not ok/ thinking for them

-insults and jokes using derogatory language is triggering and alienating

-treating psychotics as lab rats or something to gauk at as “interesting” is demoralizing and takes away someones individual power as a person. Its hard to have an identity and a voice if everyone is busy staring at you like a lab rat.

What about the internal side of the otherkin community? I found when I was apart of the therian community this was a more prominent problem and still is in some corners I wander into. Otherkinity also holds some ableist views but from what I’ve seen not to the same intensity as therian communities. This I would say is a cultural difference from a new age of therians that took over the internet, p-shifting cults, wolf packs, and some forums for therians were intense I know previously therians and otherkin identities didn’t have to much of a difference besides animalistic tendencies or a way to further define an identity. Once this shift happened it became more so about earthly creatures or animals based on earth. earth mythics, animals that exist present day and extinct, and plants as well. I’m not an expert of the history of otherkin and therians so I would direct you to house of chimeras and who is page for more information over it gladly. If im wrong please correct me. That’s my understanding. This shift to earthly animals also carried a sentiment or notion of being more “real” than otherkin that I often experienced in the wolf packs and forums. Since they’re identities were based on “real” animals it made them more valid otherkin. An easy question I asked often or others would ask was a simple “why?” and the response I experienced a lot was “so were more credible/ don’t seem crazy” this was 8-9 years ago which was at the time the height of otherkin hate. It came across as a borderline phobia to be seen as an antikin steriotypes which were ableist stereotypes to begin with. some of these communities in reaction created ridged and strict cultures of how to be therian. This would leave an imprint on many people including myself.

so that was 8-9 years ago why do I bring it up? Because I still see this sentiment present just subtle.

Some things I feel were carried over is: Overly present and specific about kin types, an obsession with details and intricacies to a degree where its no longer beneficial to learn, embarrassed or shamed for certain kin types, a focal point on kin type tendencies and ignoring or pushing aside human experiences to further pronounce a kin type. A fixation on the past and not taking into account of the present, always centering around the past. I would say these behaviors in the community were influenced from the wolf pack cultural shift.

These are a remanent set of reactions from a more intense time of grilling, questioning and if validity was questioned your title could be easily taken away in close knit communities. I think the otherkin community still has some skeletons in the closet so to speak of a more intense time that a lot of members endured and witnessed. We passed on this culture, myself included as we grew up cause its how we learned to present our otherkinity. We can unlearn though and I think it’s time to push for more freedom and new ways to take on otherkinity. a larger problem I see is a fixation with the past which once it gets to a certain point I don’t think can be constructive or healthy. Exploring your past is good, gaining context for your actions and your background is good, but living in the past is not healthy. Reshaping how you live in the present by escaping to the past isn’t really healthy. I find it worrying how common it is for otherkin to not tie their humanity and the present to their identity. It hurts to say, it can be uncomfortable but being human is apart of our experience. Now my therapists always say “never damn a coping skill” if looking to the past and living in the past finds you comfort and it keeps you stable that’s ultimately a good thing your staying stable and keeps you functioning. I urge though for people to start to take the time to explore humanity with our otherkin identities and living more in the present. How your identity effects you right now. How people interact with you and what you can do to tie your otherkinity to the physical world to the present. I think it’s a balancing act ultimately trying to find a sweet spot between the past and the present. Not completely ignoring your past and only staying in the present or only living in the past and neglecting the present. Its not easy and something im actively working on myself.

I want to highlight the present cultural imprint the wolf pack phase in present day otherkin communties and how new otherkin members seeing and reacting to it. we as older members may not realize how impactful our words are and may not notice us carrying an imprint of the past with us. Here some quotes I picked up. I asked a few friends their experiences who had come as otherkin in the past 6 months. I was also able to get 1 anecdote anon from my tumblr after sending out a request earlier today they are also pretty recent. Here what they had to say. These are all anonymous.

“(tumblr)My experience was pretty good! The community is super open and friendly, or at least the side of it I'm on (idk about the fictionkin side of it which might be more controversial/full of discourse).

It was easy to get into which is good because I was super scared about it 😅” “(friend) the whole community is

scary, for me at least, mostly because some of the older grey muzzles seem really intimidating and cliquey

the discord group im in seems like really cool to me, they are all super nice and helpful but the rest of the community is super scary for me”

“(friend) [when asked about getting into the community] it's weird to me, it really is.

I've spent a good chunk of time just like

wondering what it could possibly mean to be "valid" otherkin

like, who's judgement is that? mine?”

My Take on otherkinity

Im telling my story because my mental illness causes me to fall into an undesired or taboo identity categories or stereotypes of otherkin often. I find instability, identities that are less material or easily relatable, signs of mental illness with otherkinity. Are swept under the rug. I’d like to change that and show that instability, less relatable, highly specific or vague identities are just as valid. My experiences can be something of an uncomfortable truth for some that otherkin can be cringy or be easier to target from outsiders. I ask to everyone that has some reservations about accepting more diverse identities to consider how beneficial these new perspectives bring to our community. These identities give a perspective and voice we are missing and is needed. It’s beneficial for our community to be heard fully so we can support and help everyone. Endels may have a perspective other therians/otherkin may not have considered before. the wider range of experiences about our community that we share the better. It gives us the tools to make the community even stronger.

I would say overall psychological kin are extremely diverse and no experience is going to be the same. Its difficult at best to say anything that all psychological kin experience because the definition is so broad. We all have unique and diverse stories and I’d like to encourage everyone to share them even if they show mental illness. Things like Delusions, trauma responses, trauma sourced, episodes and regression. I would love to see more inclusivity for the messier and less understood part of psychological kin.

So lets get into some of my specific experiences. my identity is messy at the moment as my brain seems to have an interesting understanding of what a mightyena is. It has 2 images instead of one

These two images are houndoom and mightyena. Both of them I see myself as but are the same entity. My brain cant see the difference between the two as an identity at the moment. So theyre both “mightyena” its quirks like this that I think should be seen as more acceptable in the community because its messy at best. It has made me on several occasions go “that makes 0 sense” but from a trauma stand point it doesn’t surprise me

my brain has trouble picking only one. If my 5 year old or 3 year old brain attached itself to both images and called them the same then well that’s it im both of them at once. Brains don’t tend to work very logically and while it sounds confusing I would say it probably feels similar to having 2 kin types active at once. The two identities don’t blend (ie mightyena wolf hyena doesn’t breathe fire while houndoom does. ) I experience a range of both identities at once. They’re both mightyena it just so happens that image that’s associated with houndoom is present when something happens that only that pokemon could do or associated feelings or states. I would say theyre 2 different kin types except if I say I have a houndoom kin type I don’t think of anything and don’t feel anything. When I say I have a mightyena kin type I have images and feelings from both. They also cant seem to be separated both images and associations need the other. Its interesting. Its very funky. The wonderful world of trauma. Could probably make anew label for that but that’s alright im not one for labels.

I experience something I call m-shifting which is really animal regression. It’s called m shifting because I was previously in an p-shifting cult where it developed it. it’s uncontrollable but I can start it or trigger it if I want to. When I go into an m-shift I cant understand English, read English, walk on two legs well, speak, or know basic things most people would know. My brain goes into instincts and impulses. I don’t think critically or contemplate much. My thoughts are in images and feelings. Its fun. But its difficult to control, I find it’s a way for me to relieve stress in excess when I cant seem to find a good outlet for it. this is part of my identity is what makes me relate to the werewolf community so much since its involuntary and frowned upon generally to greater society .(aka internalized ableism) One of my biggest fears is shifting in public or with friends. It’s hard on me for sure.

Another thing that effects me is coping linking as someone who deals with trauma I have found lately I’m starting to create involuntary coping links. I had a brief coping link as a sled dog its purpose was the personality of a sled dog was something I needed to be at the moment to stay functional and coherent once I learned to do that without my coping link it went away. I notice myself having brief coping links on and off each of them usually teach me something or a skill I couldn’t fully understand yet.

I experience false memories. My memories change depending on my identity. I don’t force or make them change they simply do.

they hold the same narrative throughout all the changes though. The narrative from what I understand seems to be a re telling of my trauma. My false memories don’t seem to be a major part of my identity and I think I may have them simply because of p-shifting cult trauma and the pressure to have a past life or noemata. I think my false memories are a way to retell my trauma in a form that gives me validation as an animal. I do know seeing myself as human in memories is inherently triggering for me as I cant recognize myself so a set of false memories that lets me see myself in those situations as an animal is comforting and validating. It helps me evaluate my trauma better and understand why I feel the way I do about trauma. A dog that looses its molars would be distraught while a human doesn’t really care if they get wisdom teeth removed. Evaluating trauma through an animalstic lens has helped me immensely. I’ve noticed the more I evaluate and see my trauma through an animal lens the weaker my false memories become and I think that’s neat.

My perspective of the world also changes as my identity shifts

I see the world differently as a mightyena than I do as a threatening wolf. Objects, people, environments and habitats have different meanings to me and associations according to shifts and how my identity changes. These associations and meanings are ones that either I had when I was a child, or ones I repressed due to being childish or something I didn’t see as acceptable at the time. So my identity now has a wider range of perspective. My threatening wolf perspective toned down a lot and let the repressed associations and meanings take a more dominant role.

Another thing that effects my otherkinity is when it comes to species dysphoria I would say it’s a large factor in how I experience otherkinity. I would say my otherkintiy is something very based in the present. I don’t think about my kintypes past, I don’t think about its future or let my mind wander off a lot about whats going on with it. I am usually observing it in the present moment. A big part of that is my species dysphoria which tells me a lot about what I am. I’m trans female to male though that’s debatable as im considering a gender to my kintype. Human gender dysphoria is something that bothers me a decent amount. What has sent me to therapy though is species dysphoria. It is unbearable for me. I have fangs, a tail, a collar, wolfsbane pendant for mythology about werewolves, pointed nails, short hair thicker hair to resemble my kin type. I had to learn how to make animal vocalizations like growling, snarling, whimpering because I felt incredibly stressed being unable to emote properly. I learned to walk on all fours and run as well. I learned to play and move like an animal mostly from m shifting but it helps immensely. Getting on T has helped a lot as I got furrier, deeper voice, thicker hair, generally able to gain muscle better. Overall has helped my species dysphoria. Its something I’ve always had that brings me immense discomfort. I’m planning to make a prosthetic muzzle to wear and possibly some ears.

This dysphoria is apparent when you see me on the street cause im wearing a collar, tail everything I can’t hide my otherkinity because it triggers my species dysphoria to much to hide it so I just have to roll with it. the census? Its really not that bad being out or showing im otherkin. It’s a good conversation starter and most people are friendly about it here which has been nice. I do get asked if im a furry I usually say yes just cause I don’t feel like explaining otherkinity. If someone asks why I usually just say I see myself as an animal. Responses are mixed but people are polite about it. wearing gear makes me feel much more grounded in where I stand with my identity. I noticed a feel much more confident about myself when I am being myself unabashedly. Who knew. Also planning to get some combat boots and add some spikes to them to imitate claws. Should be fun.

Heading back to my weird quirks and otherkinity experience Phantom shifts are something I experience all the time 24/7. In part due to p-shifting cult and also a way to manage my species dysphoria. It’s pretty intense for me and its something I find comfort in and encourage. It’s a way for me to find the world more relatable. Often these shifts calm me down and make it easier for me to navigate the world. I would say my phantom shifts only effects parts of my body im aware of not my entire body all the time. Rather whatever body parts im using. It also does its best to not have any “clipping” through objects and my shift may phase out if there may be clipping to a body part im aware of.

Lastly My gender and sexuality I would say tie to my kintype as well. Im attracted to otherkin moreso than humans. I really like animalistic aspects to people and traits I see in my kintype in other people. I find I get along best with canine kintypes. My gender im realizing is more so tied heavily to my kintype I want to be a male mightyena whatever that entails and it plays closely with my species dysphoria. I find when I relieve my species dysphoria I tend to also relieve a bit of my gender dysphoria to. I say im ftm as a short hand because that’s what my kintypes gender seems to line up with the most. Though I think that will be less and less the case as I start wearing things like a prosthetic muzzle which is pretty animal gender to me.

Therapy and Otherkinity

On this topic I would like to talk about how therapy and otherkinity interact cause that’s something central to this panel. For me I always noticed that when I am given analogies in therapy they are always about an inner child, how I was as a human kid, how I am as an adult. These things are good but they lack the context of me as a whole. I am not just a human I am an animal in a human body which changes a lot in how I’ve had to take care of myself and apply advice given to me by professionals. For one I always have to tell professionals im otherkin and what that entails. That it isn’t a hobby or one aspect of me but something that impacts my entire perspective. Methods of self soothing just wont work for me if I don’t change some wording around. There is no inner child for me personally theres a puppy and a puppy seeks out an entirely different sets of behaviors, emotions, and emotes/ way of communication than an inner child would. You would be able to talk to an inner child hug them and act as a type of parent to them. With a puppy I tend to act more as an owner or an animal parent depending on whats needed.as an owner i have to bridge the communication gap with things like chew toys, petting, dark cozy places, brushing or grooming, non verbal communication

which plays a much larger part in my healing process than what I read or what methods im taught. As an owner to myself I have to learn to take care of my inner puppy the way I needed which can be difficult when no one you know has to follow that method. As an animal parent I also have to act as I am, an animal to my inner puppy that’s what we both understand the common language we speak is non human and is critical to my healing. I find protecting my inner puppy as an animal parent gives me a larger sense of catharsis it feels like something I can finally understand however the methods don’t translate well to the real world. I cant just snarl at people I have to talk to them in a disagreement. I cant go hunting I have to go shopping. Which is why having both an owner and an animal parent.

Both are important because both aspects cant be ignored and need to be used in tandem.

Healing for me when it comes to trauma involves a lot of balancing between my human life and my animalistic needs which is something I have had to do and explain to therapists the difficulties of doing so. I notice most therapists I have met cant seem to grasp this and see otherkinity as more of a metaphor than an identity. I noticed a lot of my therapists would just change metaphors to talk to me instead of reshaping a technique for healing which has caused a lot of problems. An example I can think off the top of my head is instead of “a family sticks together” may be “a wolf pack sticks together” which is helpful sometimes but if it’s the only change it becomes detrimental to me. Often because while not intentional I think a lot of therapies are human-centric. There is an assumption you are human in order to apply the coping techniques or healing strategies. This lead to me unintentionally repressing a larger chunk of my otherkinity just because I was applying these skills without changing anything. Sometimes present day I still fall into this and notice it triggers my species dysphoria to worsen. It can be difficult to spot for me as well because otherkinity is so uncommon no one else is having the same issue in my real life friend groups. So I assume whatever im doing must be ok cause it seems to work ok for everyone else. Which ends up not being the case.

A solution I’ve found to help with this is for one explaining as I go with a therapist what is and is not working. I have to be an advocate for myself and teach them as well what I like and what works and what doesn’t. I try my best to let them know when something they do is detrimental. I also try to explain what brings me comfort and what doesn’t. a nice talk isn’t going to help my puppy self but a hug would. Things like that. When it comes to internal imagery some therapists use I know stating to them youd like them to consider your kintype as yourself has helped me by them not seeing me as a fully human being or just my irl body. overall I hope this talk has helped some people. Given some new perspectives. And I am happy or reiterate some topics I went over. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#long post #it was 11 pages #im so sorry #otherkin #therian #fictionkin #psychologicalkin

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sapphicambitions · 4 years

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hey! hey! why do you hate the television format??

Ah yes, thank you for reminding me

I would like to state for the record before we begin that this is my personal reasons for not enjoying the format of television and not “why television is bad'' because im sure there's many people whose reasoning for liking TV is the same as my reasons for disliking them. please dont get mad at me if you disagree lmao

I feel like the short answer could be: “I have a degree in theatre and i prefer books”

But really i hate the fact that the story is subject to change via outside forces.

In a well written play or book, there is a beginning, middle and end. It is a complete story that has been well thought out and woven together. Every detail is important and makes sense dramaturgically. You have your characters and your plot and nothing about that changes. We’re taught in Theatre School (TM) that the playwright is the first artist, and everything goes back to the playwright’s words. The story cannot change because of outside forces and it will not change over time. Once a book has been published, it is done. And yeah in theatre, a play can be done by many people with multiple interpretations of the story but it always goes back to the playwright’s words as they are the first artist and it is about honoring those words. Yada yada. you get it.

TV is always subject to change. Actors leave because there was drama on set or because they have other projects to work on. Writers change and the tone of the show changes. Or they go to a different network and the show changes. You never know how long the show is actually going to go so it could be cancelled in the middle of an important plot they never got to wrap up or the show could extend past the original plot idea and the seasons get more and more ridiculous as they’re just trying to come up with shit to do so they can keep the show running.

Like supernatural, which went on for far too fucking long and just kept spitting out nonsense when they could have wrapped up in season five.

Like the Vampire Diaries, where the main fucking character Elena Gilbert left the show (which was ridiculous!!) or when her little brother Jeremy was just like written out of the show and then never talked about again like what the hell

Like Timeless, which got cancelled after two seasons and left so many loose ends (they had to like, beg for a movie to wrap everything up)

Like the Magicians, which just, like, sigh. Y’all know. I don’t want to get into it. Y’all know.

Hell, even Parks and Rec, with Ann and Chris leaving the show. If Parks and Rec had been a book Ann would have never left!!! Never!!!

Characters get pregnant because the actors who play them get pregnant and suddenly THAT’s the plot line of the season. (Wynonna Earp, Brooklyn 99, The Office, How I Met Your Mother, Sex and The City, Bones, Friends, The Big Bang Theory, Once Upon A Time, Charmed, The Vampire Diaries, Parks and Rec, Grey’s Anatomy, The X-Files, Yes I Looked Up This List To Prove My Point)

If an actor breaks their foot then the writers have to change the plot. Everything about the story is subject to change due to outside forces and that might be a selling point for some people but i do not vibe with it!!

And also, you’re watching the story unfold over the course of time and something could change halfway through the season and they abandon the really cool plot they were working on to suddenly set up a way for them to kill off the main character of the show. (okay apparently i do want to get into it with the magicians).

Like call me a snob but i like a concise arch! Something that the show is working towards, the story that they’re telling and the thesis of the show, and the end goal they’re working towards. I just honestly don’t like the “stories wrap up in one season and will we get another? Maybe? Okay yes we will so let’s come up with a new big bad for the characters to fight who’s got ideas” or like if you get seven seasons into a show and they’re like “And here’s my long lost sister that ive literally never mentioned before but we needed something exciting for the plot so here she is!” like i hate that shit. I know my old roommate loooooved when TV shows pulled twists like that so im not saying it’s bad writing im saying I personally hate this style of writing.

I just keep throwing in these disclaimers so no one gets pissy at me lmao

I think what caused me to realize and put a name to these feelings was watching the Schitt’s Creek Finale. I love Schitt’s Creek because it feels like one concise story. The characters all grow and develop and have an arch and at the natural conclusion of that arch, the story wrapped up. I loved that shit. It was a game changer for me. Any other show would have kept going and the tone of the show would have been totally different and frankly im glad they wrapped it up when they did and as they did. It was a perfect ending.

I haven’t really watched the Good Place but I’m told similar things about it.

Avatar the Last Airbender which we can all agree is the greatest show ever written had a clear plotline throughout the whole series and a goal they were working towards even if they did have side plots, it was all building up to one endgame. And it was stellar.

I also recently rewatched parks and rec which is one of my favorite shows of all time and i do truly love it but like the whole point of the show originally was that they were gonna build a park and there were times in the show that they just totally forgot about that goal to work on other storylines until they were like ANN’S LEAVING WE GOTTA BREAK GROUND. That’s annoying! And once parks and rec started getting really popular and making more money they were able to be like “let’s send them to england! France! DC! Scotland! San Francisco! Let’s bring in Michelle Obama and Joe Biden and John McCain and Madeleine Albright! Which like all of that was really cool and some of the best parts of the series but also just another example of how the show changed over time as they got more name recognition and money.

Also lmao i just had the thought that it doesn't really matter what community did because the point of that show was to be batshit and they succeeded spectacularly. What a good time. Just had to add that in there.

So yeah that’s why i hate the television format because everything is subject to change from the plot to the tone to the writing to the characters and a lot of times there isn’t a clear narrative arch as they’re just coming up with nonsense to keep the show going and i just don’t vibe with that.

So if i hate the television format why do i still watch it, you ask? You never shut about tv shows on your blog and yet here you are declaring that you hate them. What’s up with that. Well, the answer is simple. I have major FOMO. Also lmao quite honestly i just recently came to these conclusions and put words to these feelings during the quarantine so after 23 years of being pissy at tv shows all the time i honestly probably will watch less of it. I probably wont stop completely tho. Ive already said that im not gonna watch tv shows with queer characters until the show is over and its been confirmed for me that the show treats its queer characters and viewers with respect and dignity and i stand by that. (It’s the only reason why ive started to watch black sails.) im for sure never watching another cw show again. I have literally never finished a CW show because something has happened in it halfway through that pissed me off so much i never finished the series

So that’s my opinion does anyone also feel the same way? I feel like im crazy

#lesbianlaynie #laynie rose answers #laynie's essays #why i hate the television format

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chacetic · 4 years

Text

aspec blogs r kinda hostile...

idk i was looking at lesbian blogs earlier and they’re all so soft and the posts r like “hmmmmn i love girls” “someday i want to give a girl flowers and have a picnic in the sun” and they’re very pleasant

but then i went to look at ace and aro blogs and they’re all like “iM nOt BRokEn” “hEReS SoMEThiNG aN APhObE sAId LEtS DiSCusS” which isn’t bad, but the whole community is so damn defensive and hurt and it’s just like...

cringy

not to say yalls feelings aren’t valid, if course they are, but it reminds me of how

I DIDNT WANT to be part of the ace COMMUNITY j u s t because looking at ace posts made me sad. i felt weird being ace because i wasn’t insecure. being in the online communities felt alien, because being ace didn’t make me feel angry or sad, and that’s what so many posts were about. those posts made me sad. (and that’s NOT good, especially for mental health. not every needs to be aware and jaded, y’all.)

not the aphobes. the actual ace “positivity accounts” spewing their constant “you’re not broken” and “aphobes said something mean so i’m gonna prove them wrong even though they don’t care but i’m not gonna shut up about it until they do” and “everyone expects me to have sexual/romantic feelings but i don’t and people HATE HATE HATE that but i’ve realized that i’m not broken, society is” posts

like i’ve always been a proud queer online, but every time i tried to find ace memes i ended up seeing really negative and defensive posts which are soooo tiring and depressing

like i get it, some ppl don’t like us. you’ve been knew. i’ve been knew. we’ve ALL. BEEN. KNEW. can we just move on as a group?

also, i never felt wrong for being ace, but the sheer amount of “you’re not broken” posts literally made me feel wrong for not feeling broken. like THATS the destructive power of the community. i felt broken for not being broken.

and it’s not like these posts don’t have a place. every community has them, every community needs them to help the people who do feel sad or broken or alone

but that’s all the aspec community is at this point. it’s a defensive and angry group of people, and it’s off putting to people who wanna be casual members of the online aspec community and don’t want discourse.

and it’s even the “positivity” blogs. it’s like so many of the posts are casually depressing without a second thought.

like i wanna see more posts (and memes) about dragons and cake, why it’s great to be ace, playing card jokes, funny anecdotes about being hit on, moodboards, archery, the colors purple and green, giving relationship advice that isn’t based on lust or love, and relatable memes about thinking true love is being best friends. the soft stuff. the posts that make you laugh or feel warm and fuzzy.

i DON’T wanna see whatever the hell ive been looking at for the past few years

like looking at ace memes usually makes me feel more depressed than usual. it probably does the same to other aros/aces too. and if u want to see aspec memes, there’s no escape. can y’all big accounts calm down? gives aspecs a chance to chill.

for real, though. if you’re questioning your identity and you go online for help, and then the only posts you see have the vibe of: “THERE R SO MANY APHOBES BUT EVERYTHING IS FINE FINE FINE.” “OH YOURE ASPEC TOO? GREAT A LOT OF PPL R GONNA HATE U NOW SO TO PRACTICE IM GONNA TELL YOU THINGS APHOBES WOULD SAY AND YOU HAVE TO TRY NOT TO CRY”... i’d straight up walk as fast as i could in the other direction. like, don’t wanna get involved in that.

so uh seriously this is a huge issue in the community. can there be like at least 3 accounts that aren’t sad and angry and hurt?like ever? just positive soft ace accounts?

maybe come up with a specific tag for the non-edgy posts? something like # soft ace or # calm ace (and their aro and aroace versions) (the aro/ace positivity hashtag is already taken over)

rb if u agree or at least have noticed, also if u disagree i don’t care. sorry for the long post but also it’s just a HUUUUGE and very annoying thing.

#asexual #aromantic #aroace #aspec #aspec positivity

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theobsessor1 · 5 years

Text

Soulmate au

A soulmate au idea if you will indulge me

Im just ramble on about the idea because I feel like I would suck actually writing the fic or probably won’t ever get around to actually attempting to write it. Warning this is long Do with this what you will. Write your own if ya want, just wanted to share my thoughts. So! Soulmate au, your chest glows when your close to your soulmate. Maybe they glow in different colors, maybe it just white light ((idea from this post (link)))

The possibility of glowing starts from age 12, and so begins your optional search for your soulmate.

Not everyone takes it seriously, it's like the universe is giving you a suggestion. Saying hey your a really good match for each other, most people listen to it, but not all.

In comes our boys under the cut

Roman:

He’s a radio show host, does a range of things on his show. Playing music by queer artists or their allies. Talks to listeners and giving them advice the best he can and just a safe space to talk for the queer community. Cause even tho the universe will say that two men are meant to be, there are those who still are disgusted.

After all no one knows how or why the chest glowing is a thing, it just is. So who’s to say it is good or bad?

Roman is a strong believer in soulmates, after all he does love his fiance more than just about anything. He still can’t help this small feeling that something is missing tho.

Roman loves to go see plays during his free time, sometimes he accidentally rambles on about them on his radio show. Has gotten into a few debates with his listeners and even got his fiance riled up into joining one such debate.

Lives in a nicely sized homemade for two, plus a guest room at the insistence from Logan that they must have one, even tho neither of them really invite friends over opting to head to friends houses instead.

Logan:

Roman’s fiance. They don’t plan to get married any time soon, really just got the rings for people to leave them alone and stop asking if they were dating because their chests glowed.

Logan is the co-owner of the radio show with Roman. He rarely ever goes on air, he works mainly with their equipment and making sure they keep to a relatively to the same schedule every day.

He writes in his spare time, hasn’t really published anything yet. He’s more content to just share it freely online at the moment.

Insisted that they have the guest room just in case anyone does ever come over, because he will not allow anyone to sleep on the couch like a heathen.

Has a large bookshelf in their living room stuffed with books, most are his.

Patton:

I was thinking baker at first cause why fix whats not broken but then a better idea struck!!

A childcare assistant! He works at a children’s daycare, keeping an eye kiddos while there parents are at work.

He’s the kiddos favorite but ssssh, don’t tell any one.

He sneaks them extra snacks if they behave, or read them bed time stories during nap time to help them snooze.

Patton of course bakes and knits in his free time.

He lives in a relatively nice one bedroom apartment, with his plants.

Patton stumbles upon Logan, quite literally, in the library when he’s looking for a book to help him with his knitting. Several flustered apologies later as they dust each other off from the fall Patton realizes their chests are glowing!!!

It’s so exciting!! Patton practically squealed, with a startled Logan trying to wrap his head around what was happening. Let’s just say Logan panics and it takes some time for Patton to calm him down.

Once calmed down Logan tries to politely excuse himself and takes off. He of course goes crying to Roman, how could it be possible. He’s heard rumors of course of rare cases where people have glowed around more than one person but he never really thought it was possible.

This causes them both to freak out some. Later on of course Roman will get Logan to warm up to the idea, I mean its twice the amount of love come on. He can shower even more people in affecton! And this stranger sounds down right adorable so why would he complain.

Poor Patton isn’t sure what to do, so what’s he do well. He calls for advice to that wonderful Radio show of course!

Shenanigans ensue!

Virgil:

Virgil works with a small animation studio, making art and costume clothes in his free time. He made his patched hoodie after all.

Virgil isn’t all that confident in soul mates, just isn’t his thing.

He lives in a dingy apartment, makes magic work with just noodles and some left over meat. Is kinda broke if ya couldn’t tell. That’s why he has taken to a talent of recycling clothes and making something new out of them. Plus it fits his aesthetic.

Only ever leaves his house to visit his best friend Remy’s cafe. He’s allergic to the outside he likes to say while hissing at the sun.

Has Roman’s radio show playing as background noise most of the time. Found that one with the poor guy tripping in the library interesting. Poor guy didn’t get such a great first impression.

Virgil is visiting the cafe one day with his bro Thomas, chilling at one of the tables when Patton comes in dragging Roman and Logan in with him happily talking their ears off to try the stuff there.

Virgil definitely didn't stare for along time observing them, with all their own different attractive assets. He’s just people watching shut up Thomas.

It isn’t until later when the group sit down at a table that Thomas points out that Virgil may be glowing under his thick hoodie. Causing the emo to panic and off course hide that fact as the group seems to take notice of themselves glowing.

Let’s just say its one hell of a first meeting. Virgil could hardly talk through his gay panic when the guys finally realize he was the last one. Luckily Thomas is there to help him out, that little shit.

Deceit:

I like giving him the name Dean.

Surprisingly he’s soulmate’s with Thomas. Tho he doesn’t really do much about it, they’ve become QPPs.

Dee has known Virgil and Thomas since highschool, he was much more of a delinquent back than. The two, mostly Thomas has help keep him out of trouble for the most part.

He lives with Thomas, they have their own bedrooms. No one is sure what his job is.

(He’s a police detective, mainly works in homicide usually, but shoosh don’t tell it’ll ruin his reputation of being a heathen)

Just because he works with the police doesn’t mean he cares for the law, you wanna break a few rules you go right ahead child, here have a lolipop too.

He has a dark sense of humor, Oh you have a problem with some one just murder them!

Thomas- No! Dee- fine, a light stabbing then Thomas- NO!

He is protective of his cinnamon roll Thomas, and takes great pleasure in rilling him up.

Was able to convince Thomas to allow him to have two pet snakes, two ball pythons his precious babies.

Him and Remy can go on flirting with each other for hours those dorks. Its like a contest who can get the other to fall flat first.

Remy:

The man that embodies sass.

He opened a cafe, encouraging other people’s coffee addictions and satisfying those with a sweet tooth.

Knows every single one of these poor gay idiots and is watching with a bag of popcorn at their horrible attempts at romancing one another.

He an Emile are just betting one who does what and enjoy the chaos of the oblivious pinning.

The one to introduce Dee to Thomas.

Emile:

Of course he still is a therapist, what else would he be.Still obsessed with cartoons.

Is best friends with Virgil and Thomas. Is a bit weary of Dee, but what can ya do.

Absolutely adores Remy, that’s his sass man. They’ve known each other since childhood, practically declaring to mary each other with candy rings.

Remy and him are happily soulmates, living in a nice quite home.

They have a cute mainecoon named pumpkin spice, pumpkin for short.she sleeps with Emile’s stitch plush on their couch.

Emile is ecstatic to hear that Virgil found his soulmates when he tells him. Or even that he was talking to people in general that weren’t Remy, Dee, Thomas or himself for once.

Hopefully these new guys can get Virgil out of his house more often, he’s a little concerned about his vitamin D intake. Don’t tell me that mister, your not allergic to the sun!

Don’t know if I’ll actually write this at any point in time, feel free to use with credit i guess. Idk just sharing my ramblings.

#Cat posts #writing is hard #sander sides #soulmate au #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #deciet sanders #remy sanders #emile sanders #dr. picani #fanfic #sandersides fic #lamp #calm

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lo-brokeit · 6 years

Text

screaming about newest Sander Sides vid

specifically “Can LYING Be Good??” Under the cut this time sorry for spamming lmao

this isnt a live blogged post but put in the order of screaming at the events in the vid bickering prinxiety "Im silly like that" Foreshadowing to Deceit? Oof "Im sorry i called you charlie frown" HE APOLOGIZED OOOOO i love logan so much even if he can be a bit of a know it all but he explained the thing to patton nicely ive watched the office bloopers too but never the actual show mmm could be gayer roman "This dude" lmao i love virgil "Looking at this objectively-- so you two can sit this one out" LOGAN JUST GOT IT THAT THOMATHY WANTS TO LIE CJSBW fucking princey being like "then how would you describe all the acting hes done in his life" just why u child "LETS LOOK AT KANT" JOAN princey ur not making urself look great by saying "never lying at ALL?" thomas screaming joan is such a mood "He seems to like his friends" rlly Logan Logicality moments but its deceit sobs listen now im rlly overanalytical with patton being deceit cuz "well of course, im morality" could be him lying but who knows VIRGIL SHIMMYING GIVES ME LIFE "Dont be dramatic... Thats my job" lmaooo HANNAH MONTANA ARE YOU SHITTING ME "See i know things too" IM WAITING FOR LOGAN ANGST IF THERES ROMAN ANGST DAMNIT honestly im logan "You can communicate a falsehood" OOH THAT LIPSYNC OF PRINCEYS VOICE AS HE IS BEING JOAN GOOD SHIT i love joan "What did we establish this whole shapeshifting thing for if we're never going to use it" lmao thomas frowning at virgil Logan flipping through his cards!! Dwi = driving while intoxicated Deceit knew Roman would take the stage thing literally holy shit In THE HEIGHTSSSS! "Joan didnt rhyme there" pgkrhfhw The constant switching between thomas princey and joan princey is really good MEEEEEEE no 15 second ads atm logan in a black tie is good shit im gonna draw him in the headset virgil being the techy is rlly fitting somehow but also "so many thINGS" is such a mood "Pbpbpbpblease" I loved "pattons" little director outfit god i love joan "I have several questions" ARE YOU MY MUMMY I love logan being the hecking nerd he is "I was afraid i went a little too method with it" lmao Roman and logans 1 second team up "I thought patton was the director" yes give me protective virgil the constant "whats" oooo different types of lies LMAOO "IM YOUR BOSS" "Boyfriend, what boyfriend? How many lies are we telling here?" God what a mood virgil saying boo lmao "yes and” "You dont know if your boss is a homophobe" lol yikes roman Roman in a suit with a cigar is... Somethin "Not a homophobe? Awesome" - every queer person ever "...selling hot topic merch --yes AND--" "nice" yas "I can only be so many places at once dude" im surprised virgils participating so much. What a nice dude i love listening to logan inform about things gfsbhewk The fucking voice joan gave the teenage dude kills me "Football and/or skateboarding" the classic "where do babies come from" joke messenger falcons wow virgils rlly trying! "Oh no its not...--" "KLLCK" jfc "patton" joan is so cute oh my god virgils "yikes" face is honestly the biggest mood roman sucking on the sippy cup lmao the face closeups albdwhgdha "CURTAINS?" "Fine end it now" "I thought it went well... Well i dont really know" is a montra of life tbh i love logan have i said that I have no idea what the hell they just said but roman said "classic" ooo deceit breaking pattons characterrrrr he even had a little bit of a worried face for a sec all of them except "patton" conceding to telling the truth AND THE ANGST MUSIC PICKING UP OH GOD "...and anyone who doesnt understand that should just shut up" OOH MY DARK STRANGE SON HAS CAUGHT ON OOO DECEIT YOUR LOSING IT BITCH OH MY GOD PATTON BEING AGRESSIVE AND SARCASTIC IS BOTH SCARY AND AMAZING ok tbh the first time i watched the part where deceit stops acting in character as patton i was like "well shit" shit shit shit virgil knew and i know ive watched the vid already but this part is just so GOOD WOAH THERE DECEIT CAN SHUT THE OTHERS' MOUTHS BECAUSE AS THE ASPECT OF DECEIT ITS WITHHOLDING INFORMATION FUCK I LOVE EVIL CHARACTERS AND LOGAN HOLDING HIS MOUTH CLOSED MAKES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOSTAGE SITUATION. ALSO ALSO ALSO in the past the others have slapped their mouth shut, most likely cuz of deceit. AND WHEN ROMAN SAID "You're nothing compared to the others" to virgil hE SLAPPED HIS MOUTH SHUT HOLY SHIT IT ALL MAKES SENSE so when roman said others... Is he referring to only the negative traits of the sides? or are there positive ones too? Oooo lore and angst good shit "OOooh i get it now" THEN DO SOMETHING SIR SING A LOT "They'd prefer not to know about" huh virgil? Interesting SAVE LOGAN DAMNIT THE FUCKING MUSIC CYNICAL PATTON SCARES ME OOF ITS DECEIT FHHWHSJA "Who's she? Never heard of her" deceit is also sarcasm if virge hasnt taken that spot lol ok ok more analysis virgils expression when deceit is finally revealed seems like they're fought before. so in the past have they (or just virge) helped patton surpress deceit? do they just do it casually now as to not make a scene? more analysis. "Love the new outfit roman" roman being hopes and dreams must have an effect on his guillible-ness ooooh. Deceit being part of patton, therefore part of thomas, knows romans weakness then huh. ALSO ALSO adding onto the virge vs deceit thing from before: Virgil seems to be the first and strongest one to stand up to deceit, throwing insults just as well. Hmmm also logan's speech combats deceit quite well. Deceit is withholding and creating false facts. Logan WOULD be able to go against him but deceit does control what comes out of thomas' mouth to a degree. Interesting. YES LOGAN INFORM THE FUCKERS ASS god the music i love this ALSO THOMAS' SHIRT AT THE SCENE IS A COMPLETE SKULL JUST A DETAIL I NOTICED deceit is a heck. "What you dont know cant hurt you" yikes "HOW DARE YOU STOOD WHERE HE STOOD" im not a fan of hp but nice ref. Patton casually being like "oh its you again plz leave" Princey and Logan being like "hes lying dude" @ thomas "This all went according to plan" virgil stifling a laugh at pattons joke yess "Non toxic modeling compound" UGH WHAT A RIDE DAMN "Belief doesnt always translate to reality" logan would regret deceit coming back and we all know it "The dark sides..." Lmao gimme FRACTURE A FEMUR KFBWHDJA ooo a minute of end card! "I literally typed out 'F word face'" lmao "I hope you didnt do thing that you do sometimes where you freak out and stand in the middle of your living room and talk to yourself for 20 minutes" "hahaha ahh no... YES I DID" "ah shoot" THE PUNS HE REALLY IS A PART OF PATTON FJWBBDHS. god his sarcasm i cant its great. notes: logan torture fic. Someone do it and tag me i just love torture fics? Help? Lmao cya

#sander sides #thomas sanders #sander sides spoilers #lo yells #can lying be good #kant #hahaha

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