it's time for my yearly chanukah merchandise ratings! how are there always so many to choose from. as always, this year is a doozy and I am as bitter as ever lmao
this was quite literally labeled "hanukkah cone tree." gee I wonder which winter holiday is The One With The Trees. surely it's the jewish one with all the fire. let's make it blue and white just in case. 4/10 there is no excuse for this
why are the chairs so far apart. why is there nobody there. why are there so many grapes. what even are those green things. why is there soup. will the mysteries never cease. 7/10 purely because it's pretty
I for one welcome our jewish alien cousins. not sure what this has to do with chanukah but I want to hear about jewish life on mars so 8/10 friends come in out of the cold and have a latke with me
the more I looked at this, the worse it got. there's a literal christmas tree and tinsel but oh it's got blue lights so it's fine. and as we all know, children regularly hold fully lit candle menorahs with mittens while going door to door during a snowstorm. I guess who are we to stifle a child's latent desire for arson. 5/10 somebody save that poor dying kitten
this poor magen dovid is being forcefully converted to christianity and we need to help it. quick somebody put this on a sufganiyot stack. 4/10 we all know the intended target audience isn't interfaith families okay
do I even have to say it. please just. just stop. get One (1) Jew to weigh on your hanukkah products, I beg you. -392928373/10 walmart owes me a personal apology for making me see this with my own two eyeballs
I spent a full five minutes staring at this shirt desperately trying to make it make sense. I shouldn't have bothered. it's worse than the hebrew could ever be. 2/10 amposzu zusach mezchamal to you too
congratulations, once again you wrote gibberish. this says nothing. it's not chanukah, it's not happy holidays, it's nothing. the letters on the dreidel are an ACRONYM people! there's an order! 3/10 it's antisemitic that this has over 4,000 sales (thank you @quartzfox for sending this to me. now you all have to see it too.)
now these are CUTE. and the dreidel letters are in the correct order too, which is unfortunately impressive. 10/10 no notes, it has cats, would wear
(previous years 1, 2, 3)
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Crocheted Important Blue Internet Checkmark. Because why the fuck not.
(Pattern under the cut)
Please note that this hasn't been tested, and I have very little experience writing down patterns. If you have problems or questions I'll try my best to help!
Yarn: I'm using mercerized cotton from my stash. The lighter blue is Lana Grossa Cotone, the darker a tiny leftover with the tag long since lost, but similar. Whatever material/weight of yarn you have laying around is fine though.
Hook: 2.5mm for me, but again, whatever you have and works with your yarn.
Instructions (ch = chain, sc = single crochet, dc = double crochet, tr = treble crochet, sl = slip stitch, sl tog = slip stitches together (insert hook in stitch, pull loop through, insert hook in next stitch while leaving 1st loop on hook, pull loop through stitch & through the loop still on the hook)
Base:
co 3 in a magic loop (3)
2sc in every stitch (6)
2sc in every stitch (12)
(sc, 2sc) x 6 (18)
(sc, sc, 2sc) x 6 (24)
(sc, sc, sc, 2sc) x 6 (30)
((dc, tr) in same stitch, (tr, dc) in same stitch, sc) x 9, (dc, tr) in same stitch, (tr, dc) in same stitch, slip last stitch. Break yarn & pull through
Check (you can just embroider this on, however, I suck at embroidery):
ch13, turn
sc in every stitch, ch1, turn
sl 2, sl 3 tog, sl 3 tog, sl 4, break yarn
sew check onto the base
sl 3 tog: People seem to have trouble w this, which is on me for not explaining it well. Here's what I did w pictures:
Start here
Insert hook in next stitch
Pull loop through, leave it on the hook
Insert hook in next stitch
Pull loop through, leave it on the hook. Hook now has 3 loops.
Pull the 3rd loop through the other 2
This is the finished stitch; basically, decrease 2 stitches 2x to create an angle.
Back (optional):
Repeat steps 1-6 of the base
fiddle in a safety pin like so:
3. sew it on the back of the base
4. Realize that despite your copious amount of Internet Clout, people still expect you to "pay taxes" and "make cars that don't explode". But at least you can ban the haters now!
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So humans who have non-human self characters or whatever else the definition of a furry is is called a furry.
Would an anthropomorphic animal who has a human version of all that be called a skinny? Or maybe a fleshy?
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♪A stroll through groovy road♪
Holy guacamole this took me forever to finish but I finally did! On the left is Slime Wally and on the right is groovy wally!
Dialogue:
Melly: I'm not sure if I'm doing this "groovy" thing right. . .
Groovy: You're doing great darling! You really dig those skates, especially for a first timer
Basically I tried drawing the glasses on groovy but I failed miserably, so I just grabbed a plastic bag, colored it a light purple, cut it out into like a glasses shape (that sounds weird to say lol) and I used it like regular glasses, you can take em on or off whenever!
(I know there's like a ton of mistakes on this and I had to re-paint the background like 10 times 😭 But I think it was really worth it!)
Groovy wally is made by @jazzzzzzhands!!
Slime Wally is made by me :) (All my art by the way)
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