#you take resources you put your voice before lesbians for your own bullshit knowing what little we have already | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

velmautism · 4 years

Text

Impressions

Tired of everyone making assumptions about her, who she's meant to be, and the way she's meant to act, Velma finally takes matters into her own hands. After all, the best way to correct someone is to prove them wrong.

I will post a warning just because I'm pissed at the weird horniness for the girls, especially Velma. Talks a quite bit about objectification and sexualization. But, there is also friendly fluff within after Velma takes matters into her own hands. Involves lots of my chaotic neutral take on Velma.

Reads/comments appreciated so I can make better stories in the future! I will work on the MH!AU later too so don't worry, I just wanted to do something else.

Maybe I'm sick of them assuming I'm something I'm not.

"Does she act as much as the rest of you? It's assumed that she doesn't need to be outside as much, so long as you could supply her with info and clues!"

"She charmed the socks off that Norton boy, she must be good with men!"

Body this, body that.

"Why doesn't she wear makeup?"

They even ask me why I'm not always as "put together" and photogenic as Daphne.

Her looks are her choice, she rocks them, but that isn't me. If I'm gonna be running around, getting dirty in order to find clues, etc. I'm not going to pretty myself for the publicity.

She was shocked and hurt when months ago, she found out people commented on her bust size and nothing to do with a case she had played a huge part in. They left that glory to Fred. They also talked about her waist and how she refused weight loss programs.

One, they're a load of bullshit. They all are. Two, why can't I just have a body? Why am I subject to scrutiny over my appearance and not something I really care about?

The aftermath of the Frankencreep case was also a nightmare because her costume while hypnotized was publicized. She didn't feel safe outside alone for weeks.

She wasn't even sure what had happened to her, but when finding out, she was incredibly embarrassed. The dress didn't leave much to the imagination, much to her horror.

It's because I'm a girl, isn't it?

She sighed, squeezing her hands into fists as she leaned over the bathroom sink.

"What's behind the bookish bespectacled girl that we don't see?"

Lots, if you care to look deeper.

It isn't fair....

I'm not even that nerdy, or bookish, and I'm certainly not sweet. That isn't for me.

She glanced up into the mirror, studying her brown hair, dark eyes, the freckles dotting her face.

What about the glasses, the sweater/skirt combo, and my hair makes them think I, of all people, am the submissive, sweet, and shy type? The quiet nerd with a secret wild side? I'm smart as hell, but I'm not sweet. And if they knew my "wild side," they would be terrified.

The truth was, in a case, she never cared much for the whims of others. She wasn't above manipulating others, but not in a "charming" way.

If they knew how many people I've blackmailed, blatantly lied to, tricked, all for the purpose of solving the mystery... Well, maybe there's one advantage to them having the wrong impression of me.

But then people assume things.

I've heard them call me shy.

Sweet.

Innocent.

Nerdy.

Curvy, if they're really gross.

All of it is disgusting to me.

They tell me to be something I'm not.

She looked down, not wanting to look at her reflection, if just for a while.

To her left, she spotted rounded blue plastic buried under a washcloth.

She grabbed the handles and stopped to stare at the pair of scissors in her hand, gleaming under the light.

"Hmm...." She finally contemplated aloud. "The best way to change their impressions of me.... Is to do it myself."

She seized the locks of brown hair near the nape of her neck before committing herself to this. She was going to be exactly what she wanted others to see.

Snip.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, Velma! Come get a look at this!" Fred hollered up the stairs.

Well, this is it. I can't really go back now.

.....

I can't wait.

Fred stood unassumingly at the foot of the stairs as Velma's silhouette emerged from her bedroom.

As she came down the stairs, he noticed she wasn't wearing her trademark knee socks. Or maybe she was, but the pants she wore concealed them. Instead of the red slightly elevated shoes she always wore, a pair of worn canvas sneakers covered her feet. The jeans were wrinkled and unkempt, clearly lighter and more worn near the knees. She had swapped her sweater for a black shirt and a plaid jacket, and had a watch on her right wrist. Then he noticed her new hair.

It was much shorter in the back and much less conventionally feminine. There was no fringe, only messy hair framing her forehead and dark eyes.

"Yeah?" She asked, as soon as she was standing in front of him.

"Uh, maybe another time."

"Fred, I just changed how I look. I'm still Velma, you know."

"Oh! Okay, I wasn't sure if you just needed a minute. I love the hair. Very fluffy."

Velma rolled her eyes but smirked anyway.

"Thanks, I chose it myself."

"It's better, if I'm being honest. The old hair didn't really suit you."

"You think so?" She tried not to sound snide.

"Oh, for sure! The old hair made you look more like you care about being visibly a girl, and I know you're not about that. It makes you look like you mean business. Anyway, did you hear about the robbery at this bank-?"

A loud gasp came from behind Velma. She turned around to see Daphne, slack-jawed.

"Oh, my god. You look incredible! Wow, you've really changed things up, haven't you?! Where did you go to get your hair done? I love that texture on you, it's super cute!"

"Oh, I went to the bathroom sink and lopped it off."

"Wait, really? Oh, no kidding! I was wondering if you finally found a stylist that really 'got' you. Well, no one knows you better than yourself!"

"I really appreciate it, Daphne, but that honestly wasn't the point of changing my looks. The point was to make myself look more the way I feel. People make a lot of assumptions about me that are wrong and unfair, and I'm sick of it. You pull off feminine really well because you love it, and it suits you well. But... It isn't me. It doesn't work."

Shaggy stepped into the living room and froze as Velma spoke, her voice quivering just a little bit.

"This change was for me. I don't want people to see me and tell me I'm cute, or say weird things, or mistake me for a sweet little nerd girl. They think I'm morally pure, that I'm a charmer, that I'm delicate and frail but should also be the sexy girl sitting at the computer. The gamer girlfriend stereotype, if you will."

Daphne nodded.

"I'm sorry if I came off as insensitive. That definitely wasn't my intention. Honestly, this new look is so good for you! If I hadn't met you and known you, I'd be intimidated by you. You look like you're ready to take on the entire world headfirst."

"No, you don't have to worry about being insensitive. Again, like I said, I appreciate the compliment! That just wasn't the point, you know?"

"Well, the rest of the world will think it was, unfortunately, for the first few weeks."

"I know. I'm ready to take that on, and I'm going to be different from what they believe. No more nice nerd that smiles and talks about sweaters and books and maybe the clues, if I'm lucky. No. I'm Velma Dinkley, and I'm here to kick ass in the name of solving a good mystery!"

"Amen!" Daphne high-fived her.

"Like, can I mention something else that may not be the point?"

Velma smiled.

"Sure, what's up?"

"Like, your new 'do with that jacket totally makes you, like, look like a lesbian."

"THANK YOU!"

Daphne snickered into her hand.

"Maybe now they won't say I'm good with men, because I'm NOT. I am GAY, BABY!!"

"So I'm guessing this is how you're coming out?" Fred asked.

Velma stared at him as though he were an idiot.

"You'd better be kidding, because I think it's quite clear that-!"

Fred laughed heartily. "Of course I was kidding, Velms! Look, we all figured it out a LONG time ago."

Velma shrugged.

"I'm still coming out publicly. That I've decided on."

"And we're naturally going to stand by you."

"That's why you all are the best."

Fred and Daphne sandwiched her in a hug and were quickly joined by Shaggy and Scooby.

"If I'm being honest, I also don't know if I'm a girl, but that's a whole other can of worms."

Shaggy laughed, patting her shoulder.

"Like, if you figure it out, let me know and I can get you, like, any resources you need! I've been in this game for, like, six years, and I've never looked back!"

"God, you guys are the best! I don't know what I'd do without you."

"We love you, too, Velma."

She closed her eyes, melting into the embrace from those who truly cared the most about her.

#expect an art if i have the spoons #i'll be honest though depression is killing me at the moment #i promise i'll be okay though #scooby doo #fanfiction #my fanfiction #scooby doo fanfiction #velma dinkley #daphne blake #shaggy rogers #fred jones

21 notes · View notes

argyle-s · 6 years

Text

The Shape of Things to Come Chapter 3/?

Rating: Mature

Read at Ao3

Start at the Beginning

After a year in the past, Kara makes her public debut as Supergirl.

Chapter 3 - Rebirth

Notes:

In this story, Kara will occasionally lapse into Kryptonian. The first instance of this happens in this chapter. The Kryptonian in this story is taken from Doyle Kryptonian which is where most of the Kryptonian used on the show is taken from. Translation was done using the resources at Kryptonian.info, and I suspect the quality of the translation will vary widely.

In the earlier drafts of this story, I either didn’t use Kryptonian, or I wrote the sections in English and set it off using special formatting, but I was unhappy with that, so I went back and rewrote them in Kryptonian. The problem with that is, the Kryptonian sections were written out of order and my skill with the language (such as it is) has improved considerably over time.

I’ve tried to go back and fix any errors, but:

1). The dictionary is fragmentary and I’ve had to work around holes in the language, or when I couldn’t, construct new words with guesswork.

2). I am absolute shit at learning languages that are whole and functional, so one that only exists in fragmentary form is even worse.

Any errors are mine. Any weirdness with the language and phrasing is either me being an idiot, or an artifact of my take on how Kryptonian culture and religious beliefs would influence speech patterns. My Krypton sticks as close as possible to the show, but I have made huge changes from comic canon to make Krypton fit more closely with our current understanding of what the reality of life would be on a planet in order around a red sun.

Most translations are fairly literal translations, though the order of the words is different, because English uses a Subject Verb Object sentence structure, whole Kryptonian uses Verb Subject Object sentence structure (example: The sentence "Kara punched Maxwell Lord" would be "Punched Kara Maxwell Lord" in a Verb Subject Object language like Kryptonian). In some cases however, the meaning in English can vary from the literal translation. In those cases, I will give the literal translation first, followed by the Semantic Translation.

Two final notes.

1). I take it as a given that Alex speaks Kryptonian, because she grew up with Kara, and she spent two years fiddling with Kara's pod and the hologram, and anything in canon that says she doesn't will be cheerfully ignored because it's bullshit.

2). Kara *does* know how to swear, but she’s only good at it in Kryptonian.

Update: This story has now been betaed by @ifourmindbeso. Any remaining mistakes are entirely my own.

Kara Danvers’ Apartment. National City. Earth 38, October 8th, 2015

(One Year Later)

Kara opened the door to find a very annoyed J’onn standing there, glaring at her.

“Good morning,” she said brightly, waving him in. She walked over to the kitchen and pulled down a package of Chocos and a glass, which she filled with milk.

“You do realize the DEO is not eHarmony for aliens, right?”

“Compatible Partners,” Kara said as she took a bite out of her pre-breakfast bagel.

“What?” J’onn asked as he picked up a cookie and dunked it in the milk.

“eHarmony only does listings for straight people. Compatible Partners is the one for Gays and Lesbians. Besides, I use Chemistry.com.”

“I don’t care if you used gayalienbootycall.com. This arrangement is not so you can vet your dates.”

Kara sighed. “J’onn, I am not *dating* Maggie Sawyer. We’re just friends.”

“Oh, so you aren’t meeting her tonight at some place called Girlbar?”

“Well, yes, I am. But I don’t date women who are still heartbroken over their ex-girlfriends. Think of it as recruitment.”

J’onn held up his finger and started to say something, then stopped. He started to speak again, but stopped, before finally just shaking his head. “First you wanted me to do a full security clearance on that little computer nerd. Now this. How does any of this help us with your friends from Fort Rozz?”

“Winn helps because Winn is one of only six or seven hackers on the planet that can go toe to toe with a Coluan and come out on top, and unless you’ve suddenly managed to convince Victor Stone, Felicity Smoak or Rabiah Zinoman to sign up, we don’t have a lot of other options, because Tim Drake and Barbara Gordon are serious no-fly zones and the other two people who could potentially pull this off are definitely not on our side. Maggie Sawyer, on the other hand, will give us an in with NCPD, which is going to be incredibly useful when it comes time to lay the smack down on Maxwell Lord.”

“You know, you keep talking like you’re in this fight, but so far, all you’ve done is sit on the sidelines and feed us a few names.”

“You’re mad about the armored car last night,” Kara said.

“You’re damn right I am. Two agents in the hospital. One of them may never walk again. You could have stopped it, but instead, you’re fetching coffee for some-”

“Don’t finish that sentence, J’onn,” Kara said. “You know nothing about Cat Grant and much as I like you, if you insult her in front of me, I will put your green ass through a wall.”

J’onn sighed and held up his hands in surrender. “Fine.”

“Besides, you’re every bit as capable as I am, and you didn’t do anything to stop it either. We both have our reasons for keeping secrets.”

“Yeah, but your case is a little different.”

“It is,” Kara said. “But it would expose me while the leader of the escapees was away. If that happened, there would have been open war in the streets.”

J’onn sat down on one of her stools and picked up another Choco, dunking it in his milk. “You keep talking about this leader like you know him.”

“Her,” Kara said.

J’onn froze, with the cookie half way to his mouth. His eyes narrowed. “You do know her.”

“I do. General Astra In-Ze, War Leader of the House of Ze, Daughter of In-Ze and Myara Bar-Ul, and twin sister of Alura Zor-El.”

“She’s your aunt?” J’onn said.

“Yes,” Kara said.

J’onn popped the cookie in his mouth and started chewing, and Kara watched the emotions playing over his face.

“I didn’t tell you until now, because I thought you might decide I was a security risk.”

“Then why tell me now?”

“Because this is the last thing I need from you before I openly declare myself. Once Alex is safely out of the way in Geneva, little Kara Danvers is going to take the first of Astra’s heavy hitters off the board.”

“You have a plan?” J’onn asked.

“I do. You’re probably not going to like it, but I do.”

He reached up and started rubbing his temples. “What else is new?”

***

She smiled at Winn as he approached her with his tablet, walking beside her on her way to her desk.

“Did you see this? There was an armored car robbery last night. Now, there were no witnesses except this homeless guy who swears the perp had horns.”

“Thanks,” Kara said as she excepted a shipping tube from Brad with the proof of the new bus stop poster Cat needed to approve.

“Like, on his head,” Winn said as she turned back to him.

“Well, that’s usually where horns go,” she said. “But you’re sure it wasn’t just a prominent brow ridge?

“Come on Kara, it’s an alien.”

“I don’t know, Winn. I mean, Superman’s an alien, right? He seems to look pretty normal.”

“Well, how do we know? He could be hiding anything under that suit.”

Kara shrugged. “Isn’t James Olsen taking over the art department today? Maybe we could ask him. They seem close.”

“Now you’re just making fun me.”

Kara shook her head as she sat down. “Never. Well, except for when you lose at Small World.”

“Hey, your sister cheats.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“Fine,” Winn said, as he went over to his desk and sat down, pointedly turning his back to her, which gave her just enough privacy to zap Cat’s Latte with her heat vision. “I won’t invite you to go see ‘The Martian’ with me then.”

“Tonight?”

“Yeah,” he said, turning back to her.

“I can’t,” Kara said. “Maggie and I are going to Girlbar.”

“Really?” Winn said, a grin on his face. “When are you gonna introduce me to your hot cop girlfriend?”

“Winn,” Kara sighed. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

Winn shook his head. “I never should have started you on Rizzoli & Isles. Now I’m destined to lose my gaming buddy to some tall, dark Italian Detective with a smoky voice.”

Kara laughed. “I told you I’m into blondes, but the medical examiner thing is just icky. Besides, Maggie is Latina and shorter than you are, which is saying something since I’m pretty sure you get carded going into PG-13 movies”

“That hurts,” Winn said, putting his hand over his heart. “That really hurts, Kara.”

“You were asking for it, standing there, being so short.” She paused for a moment, then looked up. “She’s here,” she said as she stood up, picking up her tablet and Cat’s Latte.

The elevator door opened, and Kara’s heart gave the same small little flutter that it always did when she saw Cat.

“Good morning, Ms. Grant,” she said, letting every bit of the happiness she felt come through. She’d been in the past for a year, and seeing Cat walk off that elevator never got old.

She saw the small tug of a smile that pulled at Cat’s lips before she started on her tirade. “The only reason I bought this building is because it has a private elevator. That way, I don’t have to get soaked in cheap cologne every morning getting to my office. Find out who used it, and have them reprimanded, or bathed. I don’t care which.”

Kara just nodded as she followed Cat into her office. “Here’s your Latte, Ms. Grant. Hot.”

Cat took it from her. “As always,” she said. “I have a meeting with the board today at lunch, so cancel sushi with my Mother.”

“Got it. Should I also cancel your therapist, since you aren’t seeing your Mother?”

“Good idea, Keira,” she said, then took a sip of the Latte. “Hmmm… This tastes different.”

“Noonan’s was out of hazelnut so I got you almond instead. I hope that’s okay.”

“I don’t hate it, but do have a talk with the management down there. If they’re going to take up space in CatCo plaza, they should at the very least be able to keep their supplies stocked. Also, I’ve emailed you a list. Prepare termination letters for the Tribune as noted.”

“Oh. Ms. Grant, I’ve been thinking about that and I’d like to make a recommendation.”

“You’ve been thinking about a decision you knew nothing about until ten seconds ago?” Cat asked.

“I’ve been thinking about it since the financials came in back in January. The Daily Planet’s the only print newspaper that isn’t taking a beating, and that’s pretty much entirely Superman’s doing. They put him on the cover something like fifty-three percent of the time.”

“Are you going to tell me something I don’t know, Keira?”

Kara nodded her head. “Well, we already do a lot of content sharing with digital, but I was thinking, why not merge the Tribune with digital entirely and try doing an interactive newspaper.”

“And how, exactly would that work?”

“A smartphone app. We could put QR codes at the end of each story, which link up to a digital expansion of the story. It’s sort of a hybrid monetization model. Digital gets the basic story for free, but people who buy the tribune get free access to the expanded story content, but digital-only users have to subscribe to get the expanded content.”

“Hmmm… That’s actually an interesting idea, but it doesn’t solve the immediate issues with circulation and it will increase the editorial load.”

“Not if we’re sharing the content across digital and print. We can even tie in to broadcast by including video segments as part of the expanded articles behind the pay wall. And the best part is, we can do a hybrid subscription model as well. Customers can choose to watch an ad before the video segment and have inline ads embedded in the expanded article, or they can pay for the content to get it ad free. We’d have to eat the losses on the Tribune while we restructured and built out the new workflow, but it would save a lot of jobs and we’d be ahead of the curve on digital and print integration.”

Cat stared at her for a minute, then nodded. “Hold off on the letters for now. Type this up as a proposal and go get me the layouts from the new art director.”

Kara grinned. “The proposal is already in your drop box. I added it last night. I’ll go get you the layouts now, Ms. Grant.”

***

She stepped into James’ office with no small amount of trepidation. Her relationship with James was one of the biggest regrets of her previous life. It wasn’t that she hadn’t been attracted to him. She liked guys well enough, from a purely physical stand point. She mainly told people she was a lesbian because homoromantic bisexual was confusing to a lot of them and that was before she even got into questions of species. The problem with James was, she’d been more in love with the idea of him than she had been with him and James had been more in love with his idea of her than with her. Things might have gone differently if they’d gotten together before Myriad and her death ride with Fort Rozz, but that day had changed something inside Kara. It had burned away so much of what Eliza and Jeremiah and society in general had saddled her with in terms of expectations of who and what she wanted to be and left a truer, purer version of herself behind. Her feelings for James had been part of that, but it had resulted in a lot of awkwardness and hurt feelings on James’s part.

It didn’t matter, because Kara was determined not to not make the same mistakes again. No dating James and no Battle of CatCo plaza, either.

“Mr. Olsen, are you here?” Kara asked.

“I’ll be just a minute,” came a muffled voice.

Kara stepped a bit further into the office, and spotted James digging through a pile of boxes.

“I’m just here for the layouts,” she said. “If you tell me where they are, I’ll get out of your way.”

“No trouble. Just let me finish here and I’ll get them for you.” He looked up from the box of trophies and plaques he was going through and stopped for a moment. “Hey,” he said as he stood up. “I’m the new guy.”

Kara nodded. “James Olsen, I know. Clark speaks very highly of you,” she said.

“You know Clark?” he asked.

“Of course. Oh,” she stuck out her hand. “Sorry, I’m Kara Danvers. Clark’s my cousin.” She saw a bit of surprise in his face, probably at the idea that Kara would be so open about their relationship. “Don’t tell anybody though. Cat would probably think I’m spying for the Planet if she knew.”

James laughed and took her hand, shaking it. “Now that does sound like the Cat Grant I know.”

Kara looked over, and let herself smile as she caught sight of the print of James’ photo of Kal. “And there’s the photo,” she said, letting go of James’s hand, and stepping around him. “You do good work. This almost looks like he posed for it.”

“He did,” James said. “Don’t tell anyone though. They might take away my Pulitzer.”

“Couldn’t have that,” Kara said as she lifted the print. “I’ve got to ask. What what’s he really like?”

This time James smiled, and Kara wanted to kick herself for not seeing the way he felt written on his face the first time they’d had this conversation. “He’s everything you want him to be and more. I mean…” He chuckled. “I was scared to move out here, but, uh, he told me the biggest risk was never taking any, so…”

Kara nodded and looked down at the print again, running her fingers over the image of her baby cousin in all his heroic glory. It was easy to let the longing shine through. She hadn’t seen Clark since she came back, and before that, he’d been dead for years in her personal timeline.

“Take it.”

“Hmmm?” she said, looking up at James.

“Take it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Kara smiled. “Thank you.” She looked down at the print for another moment, then back up at James. “Layouts?”

“Oh,” he said. “Yeah.” He picked them up off the light table and handed them to her. “Nice to meet you, Kara Danvers.”

“And you, James Olsen,” she replied, taking the layouts. “I’d better get these back before Ms. Grant fires someone.”

***

In the year since Kara’s trip back from the future, she’d mostly avoided dating. She hadn’t done it at all in the first month or so, but Eliza had kept hounding her. Finally, during Thanksgiving Dinner, she’d just told Eliza she didn’t want to be set up on a blind date with her old college roommate’s son because she didn’t want to date men at all. That had gotten Eliza to back off for exactly two weeks.

It wasn’t terrible, but Kara always felt a little guilty since the dates weren’t going anywhere. She wasn’t really over Sara and the Supergirl thing was coming. She knew what that would do to any potential relationship. She dated mostly to humor Eliza, and to help Alex keep Eliza off her back. She’d actually made a handful of casual friends she hung out with now and then and she’d managed to talk Cat into adding an LGBT-focused section to the CatCo website and to the magazine, which had done so well Cat was considering launching three topic-focused print magazines, and five topic-focused websites.

Maggie, though, had been one of the few good things that had come out of the dating thing. She knew the woman from the previous timeline of course and never would have agreed to a date with her, because dating your sister’s future wife was surely against some rule somewhere. But she’d been sitting in a bar, nursing her third virgin strawberry daiquiri after one of her Eliza-arranged blind dates had failed to show, when Maggie had sat down next to her and ordered a whiskey.

Kara couldn’t believe her luck. She’d struck up a conversation and for the last four months, she’d spent almost as much time with Maggie as she did with Winn. There wasn’t anything romantic about it, mostly because of the future Kara had lived through, but also because Maggie had been going through a long and nasty break-up with a girl named Darla, so Kara had spent a lot of time being a shoulder to cry on.

It hadn’t even really been much of a decision to bring Maggie into the fold earlier than before, because Maggie was amazing.

Tonight though, was something Kara had arranged carefully. She’d checked to make sure the bar had TVs that ran local stations so she’d get the news. She’d also set up news alerts for flight 237 Geneva and National City Airlines and directed them to her burner phone. The driver’s license in her purse was a duplicate, and the glasses she was wearing were a pair of cheap reading glasses she’d picked up at a Walgreens. The purse had a few other odds and ends in it. A spare lipstick, and a tube of lip gloss, a half empty tin of breath mints, a couple of tampons, an expired can of pepper spray left over from her college days. A couple of Noonan’s receipts, a bit of loose change, 62 dollars in cash, and a prepaid debit card. Nothing she couldn’t afford to lose, on the off-chance Maggie reacted poorly to finding out she was an alien without almost a year of history as Supergirl under her belt, but enough that it looked like it was Kara’s actual purse.

The whole thing would look careless to Maggie, like she was in a blind panic. Maggie, being Maggie, would try to return the purse and that would give Kara a way to induct her into team Supergirl.

She spotted the woman sitting at a table, checking her watch. When she looked up, her eyes fell on Kara, and Kara waved as she walked over.

“Hey, Maggie,” she said as she dropped into the seat across from her.

“Hey,” she said. “You look great.”

“Thanks,” Kara replied. “Not too bad yourself.”

“How’s Cat treating you?”

“Oh, you know. Same old, same old. It’s a good week though. She’s only fired me twice.”

Maggie laughed. “Only you would consider that a good week.”

Kara shrugged. “It’s not like it ever sticks.”

“What’s the count up to?” Maggie asked.

“One hundred and ninety-eight. Looks like Kelly from fashion is going to win the pool.”

“I bet Winn will be disappointed.”

“Probably,” Kara said. “How’s the X-Files treating you?”

“Oh, you know, same old, same old. Men in black apparently abducted a birdman in Chinatown last night, and a Klingon with a glowing axe jumped the fence at the airport.”

“Sounds like a fun week,” Kara said, but she felt a small moment of worry. The Klingon with the glowing axe sounded a little too close to Vartox for comfort.

“Yeah. One more day and it’s over,” she said.

“Any plans for the weekend?”

“Not really,” Maggie said.

Kara rolled her eyes. “You are not going to sit at home and mope over she who will not be named.”

“I’m not moping,” Maggie said.

“No, you’re not. We’ll do something.”

“Like what?”

“There’s a women’s volley ball tournament down at National City Beach this weekend. We could go watch.”

“More like go so you can drool over the players.”

“I was thinking something more along the lines of me being your wing woman.”

“Kara, you would make the worst wing woman in history.”

“I would not!”

“Oh, do not give me those puppy dog eyes. No one is going to take a second look at me if you’re there.”

“That wouldn’t be an issue if you’d let me introduce you to my sister.”

“Your sister is straight,” Maggie shot back.

Kara snorted. “My sister is in denial,” she replied. “Trust me, she’d take one look at you and there would be an Alex-shaped hole in the closet door.”

“I’ll pass on the sister and the volleyball. Seriously, I-”

Kara held up her hand as she turned around.

“If you’re just joining us, shortly after take-off, National City Airlines, Flight 237 bound for Geneva is experiencing some loss of altitude. The pilot seems to be circling the city after apparent engine failure.”

Kara turned back to Maggie as she pulled open her purse, and took out two twenties. “I’m sorry, I’ve got to go,” she said as she threw the money on the table.

“What? Why?”

“That’s my sister’s flight,” Kara said as she started towards the door. She didn’t wait to see if Maggie followed her. She didn’t need to. She heard the scrape of the feet of the bar stool as Maggie stood up. Heard the sound of the soles of her shoes hitting the ground. Felt the disturbance in the air as Maggie chased after her.

Kara moved more slowly than she could have. She knew she had time to spare. She’d picked the bar because it was along the flight path, and this time, she was neither out of practice flying, nor was she unfamiliar with the aircraft in question. She was already pulling her jacket off as she ducked into the alley, and she could sense Maggie coming around the corner as she tossed it aside. She ripped off the cheap drug store glasses and threw them in the same direction as the jacket as she ran, then she bent her knees and kicked off.

She nearly laughed when she heard Maggie scream, “Holy shit.”

Then she put everything out of her head but the task at hand.

She approached faster this time, her flight skills fresh and practiced from her regular runs out to Sanctuary, which is what she’d named her own not so little Fortress of Solitude. When the engine broke free, instead of plowing through it and showing the city with flaming debris, she caught it, and with a deft spin and shove, sent it splashing down gently into the bay. She wasted no time trying to push against the wing. Instead, she flew up under the plane and punched through the skin, grabbing the frame member tightly, and pushing up. There was no desperate turn to keep the wings from getting clipped. The plane cleared Otto Bender Bridge easily, and then Kara started a slow, gentle turn. The plane cleared the bridge a second time, before Kara guided it down gently into the water.

Once it had settled into the water, she kept pushing, sliding it along the surface, using her x-ray vision to make sure she didn’t hit anything until she ran it aground near the I-210 off ramp for National City Bay Beach. Once the nose of the plane was pushed up on dry land, Kara let go of the plane, and swam out, climbing up on the right wing. She stood, watching through the skin of the plane as people took movies and snap shots, before she gave Alex a nod through the window, and shot into the sky.

***

Kara had gone back to the alley, not at all surprised to find her purse, jacket and glasses gone. She’d known Maggie wouldn’t leave them. She’d been a bit worried she’d find the detective at her door, but as luck would have it, she was alone. She’d showered, eaten an order of fifty buffalo wings, and was most of the way through her large supreme pizza, while watching the news coverage.

“The passengers of Flight 237 appear to have a guardian angel. When, what many report to be a female flying form rescued them from certain death.”

“Leyna Nguyen is live at the scene.”

“Thank you, Rick. Guardian Angel would appear to be right. Not only did she rescue the passengers from a tragic end, but reports also indicate that she caught one of the plane’s engines as it broke free and kept it from falling on the city, and prevented the plane from hitting Otto Bender Bridge not once, but twice. Then, after setting the plane down in National City Bay, she pushed the plane up on shore, making rescue efforts and clean-up easier and much safer.”

“Oh, my god,” Alex said.

Kara hopped up from her spot on the couch and hugged her sister, careful not to bruise her this time. She stepped back, holding Alex by her shoulders.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, thank you.”

She watched as Alex rubbed her forehead, and did her best not to sigh. She knew what was coming, and she’d been dreading this part of the night.

“Let me get you a drink,” she said. She walked over to her small kitchen and poured Alex a glass of the Johnny Walker Blue Label Alex kept at her apartment. She put the glass in Alex’s hand, and waited for her to drink it.

“So, let’s hear it,” Kara said.

“Hear what?” Alex asked.

“The part where you yell at me for exposing myself to the world, and tell me I can never use my powers again.”

“It sounds like you already know what I’m going to say,” Alex said.

Kara nodded. “You know, given how much you complain about Eliza, you sound just like her.” It was a low blow, and Kara knew it, but the flinch from Alex still made her wish it hadn’t been necessary.

“Because she’s right about this, Kara,” Alex said. “It’s not safe. What if people figure out who you are? What you are?”

“Then they figure it out. I didn’t travel two thousand light years to be an assistant my whole life. I had a mission, and maybe, yeah, it was already over when I got here, but that doesn’t change who I am. /.nahn khuhp w ,kahrah,zor,ehl .nahn khuhp w tiv inah ewuhshehd im ,kryptahnium, .nahn khuhp w aonah wukhaiiu zrhythrev ,ehl,/ My mother was Alura In-Ze, the chief Adjudicator of Argo, my Aunt was Astra In-Ze, a General and the War Leader of the House of Ze. I am the granddaughter of In-Ze, Myara Bar-Ul, Seg-El and Nimda An-Dor and descended in direct line from Erok-El and from the War Queens of the House of Ze.”

“Do you know what that means? My people, my culture, my entire world may be dead, but I am still a child of Rao. /.nahn ,rao, i chahvehd shokhpahs w pahdh tiv aorghahs ni waila/ I have not forgotten, and I will not bring shame to my house by hiding who I am like some coward. There are people out there who need me. People who I can help. If that means I have to take a few risks, then I will take those risks.”

“Kara-“

Kara held up her hand. “No. No, you should go. Go home, get some rest. Get used to the idea that this is happening.”

Alex huffed, in that special way all big sisters have when they want to let their little sister know they’re being annoying and unreasonable. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Alex said.

Translated from the Kryptonian:

.nahn khuhp w ,kahrah,zor,ehl I am Kara Zor-El

.nahn khuhp w tiv inah ewuhshehd im ,kryptahnium, I am the last daughter of Krypton

.nahn khuhp w aonah wukhaiiu zrhythrev ,ehl, I am the eldest child of the house of EL

nahn ,rao, i chahvehd shokhpahs w pahdh tiv aorghahs ni waila Rao’s first law is to make the universe whole.

6 notes · View notes

lesbian-ed · 7 years

Text

(Please make this anonymous and maybe it’d be good to put this under a read more, because it’s quite long? I’m sorry about that. Thank you so much in advance.)

Hello, awesome mods. I’m sorry, but I just want to vent. I hope that’s okay? I’m a lesbian in my 20s. I’ve been aware that I’m same sex attracted since I was 12 (thought I was just bi at the time), and when I think back to my childhood, there were MANY thoughts and feelings and situations that now make me think OMG THERE WERE SO MANY SIGNS. But anyway. My 1st gf was the 1st girl I developed major feelings for. She was my best friend in middle school.

After so much confusion and inner turmoil, I confessed to her and came out to her. I just wanted to let her know how I felt, I didn’t want to pressure her into a relationship if she was straight. I expected the friendship to fall apart, but I just couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. I really wanted to let her know I loved her.

We sorta kinda dated and became intimate, although it was nothing official? At least, not to her. To me, it was so real and important to me, but I always felt like it wasn’t that important to her.

She would still openly flirt with guys in front of me, she would still develop crushes on guys, etc. It was definitely confusing. I kept falling in love again and again, all she would have to do was kiss me, and I would be convinced everything was fine. We even had sex.

But she even said to be it was all an experiment for her, that she didn’t feel as strongly as I did even though she still loved me as a friend, and would make me feel horrible, saying she wishes she could be in a relationship where she can hold hands and not feel like everyone was staring. I didn’t feel fear or shame, but it was apparent she did. People at school would come up and ask if we were dating, and before I could say yes, she vehemently said no. It was heartbreaking.

She also became colder and colder, excluding me from friend gatherings and gossiping behind my back. This relationship couldn’t last.

When I finally got tired of just being an experiment and not feeling like the love was mutual, I broke up with her. And suddenly, all the coldness and indifference she felt towards me changed. She was livid. She turned all our friends against me.

In just the 2nd year of high school, I had lost all my friends and support. I was already a big outcast at school, so the very few people who did like me all collectively decided to ignore me.

The same friends who all said “Wow! Your’re bisexual? That’s so cool! All the scene kids are bisexual, so you’re automatically awesome!” suddenly changed their tune to “Uh, my mom doesn’t want me hanging out with you anymore. She’s afraid I’ll become a gay, too.” Or some homophobic bullshit like that. I was a pariah at my school. It is still difficult to talk about it. To me, losing all my friends like that at such a tender age fucked me up badly. I ended up becoming a recluse.

During my time as a recluse, I met this woman online. I was around 16 or 17, she was in her mid-twenties. I was beginning to feel more and more that I was a lesbian. This woman confided in me, we talked a lot, became close. She would tell me all her deepest, darkest secrets. Of her claiming to be a closeted lesbian in a small town like me, of the sexual abuse she had to endure, of her cousin dying in a car crash, of all her adventures in Germany, how worldly she was.

One night, she drunkenly called me on skype. My heart fluttered. She said I was her number 1. That same night, still drunk, she confessed her feelings for me, and I reciprocated. It is embarrassing to admit, but this woman became my world. She was a goddess in my eyes. I never felt so immobilized by love. And she took advantage of that, again and again. She only showed affection when she was drunk. She constantly invalidated my feelings. She belittled my fears and anxieties. Made fun of them, too. Something I’d never even imagine doing to her, with her troubles.

She would lose her temper with me all the time. I hate to say this, but I really think it’s true: She emotionally abused me. She would only talk about herself. She would go for days ignoring me. When I tried to make new friends my age, she would become jealous and accuse me of cheating. All the while, she would go out to bars and party and even go vacationing with her ex boyfriend. I was supposed to be mature and okay with that. Expressing my own jealousy was bad.

She would want to roleplay sex online, but when I saved every paycheck just to go meet her, she told me she felt nauseous just holding my hand or hugging me. Idk if I should have felt it, but I felt so horrible. I didn’t blame her, but I blamed myself big time. All I wanted was her happiness. There’s way too much to unpack; all in all, it was a toxic, unbalanced, unhealthy relationship. Terrible.

Whenever I would try to break away or cut off the relationship, she would do a complete 180 and act all romantic, mail me gifts I never asked for, etc. But then just after one week of being all lovey dovey with me, she’d go back to being callous with me. Never apologized to me. But I always felt like I had done something wrong. Idk.

I would always want to hear about her worries and problems, but when I wanted to talk about something troubling me, she’d insult me or not take me seriously. She often told me to turn off my emotions. “Just turn it off.” Her voice still haunts me sometimes.

When I finally, finally felt strong enough to truly break free from her and never reply and delete all contact info, it was incredibly liberating. And I felt like I could finally be myself after 4+ years. I’ve also had to do a lot of rediscovering who I am, because for all those years I felt I had to walk on eggshells and creative this perfect persona that would appease her.

She ended up marrying some guy. Here I am, now. 4 years have passed since then. I just. It’s hard. I live in a rural conservative town.

I don’t know if I’ll ever find a girlfriend who loves me and is good for me? I don’t know.

Not too long ago, I got stuck in some bad mental state where I felt so lonely and broken, I just really wanted to increase my probability of getting to be with someone. So, I tried very, very hard to be straight. I tried to get myself to like men. I tried to reconcile with the thought that I may not have a choice. But I am so thankful to say that I pulled myself out of that scary mindset.

Still. I’m scared I’ll always be alone. I don’t have any doubt in my mind that I’m a lesbian, and even feel pride, but I can’t see myself being happy? At least I won’t be trying to lie to myself or others, or hurting myself, but it still feels lonely.

I don’t ask for any miracle or advice, but I just wanted to share my story with someone? I’m sorry. I really love this blog. Thank you for taking the time to read all this.

Please don’t apologize. You have all the right in the world to vent about this. And we’re there with you, I promise, we feel your pain.

You’re so so so brave and admirable, I can’t even imagine having the courage that you needed to have to get out of those relationships. I can’t even imagine being this strong.

I know those thoughts will be there, but I can promise you, none of what happened is you fault, none of it. Those women were despicable people who used you, the friends who abandoned you were pieces of shit too, none of it was your fault in any way.

I’m so proud and happy for you that you were able to get out of those relationships. So so so fucking proud, and that you were able to remain true to yourself and still recognize that you’re a lesbian despite the shit you’ve gone through. Believe me, you should feel that pride.

Have you ever seen a therapist about this? It’s tricky, but if you can afford it (and are lucky to meet with the right one) it might be huge help on how to deal with all of this. If not, there are internet resources and articles written by therapists on how to deal with this. Some of it might help you deal.

I understand the loneliness and being scared that you’ll never find actual love, I’ve been there, I am there in some ways still, but it doesn’t have to be forever. Just think of it this way, statistically there has to be someone out there who is just the right person for you. Statistically, not every woman you will ever meet will be a demon, there are bad people out there but you’ve known them already, you know how to spot them and know to avoid them now. I understand if it scares you, but just try to get out there and meet other lesbians, even through the internet, many of us have our own horror stories, I promise you’ll find many women who’ll understand you.

You’re the most amazing and strongest woman. Sending you all my love and hugs, I promise you, you can do this, for lesbians many times it’s about finding and creating our own happiness in a world that’s hostile to us. And that is hard, but we’ve always done it, and we’ll always will.

Mod M :D

#anonymous #submission #advice #lesbophobia #abuse tw #abusive relationship #mod m #lesbian positivity #positivity

12 notes · View notes