#you know. the one I actually deleted along with my whole tumblr account

[dragonfollies]

It’s been a while since I posted Ryan Akagi..

Also sorta a redraw from 2021? I think it's funny how both of the drawings came about in the same nature where I was just sitting in bed doodling, messily sketching (two years later and I refuse to do lineart)

“Original” under cut for reference

Yeah

#i know that I’ve improved a lot since a few years ago but it’s very striking to see it in direct comparison #shout out to all the young artists out there who are still learning (I very much so am still myself) #maybe one day I’ll even finish the comic I made #you know. the one I actually deleted along with my whole tumblr account #i believe the first three parts are salvaged on here as reblogs in my art tag #infinity train #infinity train fanart #Ryan Akagi #renew infinity train #follysart

[hattrickprincess]

princesaaaaaa! i remember you said you and neykyl first started talking after you sent her an ask on here? but you said she was intimidating so i was wondering how you mustered the courage to go talk to her? i also think she's intimidating btw

sorry i just think the two of you are so cute and i'm always curious about little things like these huhu

i'm answering this now after sending her a screenshot of the ask because she's "curious to hear what i have to say about this" as if she doesn't know the story herself but alas here we go

i did not. i simply did not. it was her

now, story from the beginning.

i followed her with my now deleted old tumblr account, for quite some time actually. probably around january? i was very intimidated back then. like, very intimidated. she has something authorative about her that i can't quite explain, something that makes you want to get in her good grades. so i was keeping tabs on her blog and eventually used the way she talked about kylian to add to my perception of him to create his character, and i'd written a bunch of stories already. i saw her reply to an ask where she said she read my fics, and i was kind of nervous about it because well, her words made up part of my kylian and the way she analysed matches showed that she's pretty critical and logically thinking, and i desperately wanted to know her opinion. i eventually thought i should thank her for playing a part in the creation of my kylian, so i typed out an ask and wanted to send it. my dumb ass never really used tumblr like that before so i fucked it up and sent it to swaggy instead (because you two had this insane reblogging thing going on... it was a mess) who then passed it along to her (@swaggypsyduck sorry again for that!!) and she replied in this whole paragraph and then sent me the link in my comments.

i made this tumblr soon after and followed her, and she followed me back immediately and said hello and everything, but i didn't really talk to her. until she comes to my dms talking about ethan and kylian's bond because she watched a documentary about kylian in which he talked about ethan sleeping in his bed sometimes. that was the birth of the burden of being the little brother, because she kept going on and on and giving me more ideas until i had enough material to make a fic, so i did. that's the first fic that's hers.

and then basically she kept coming to me with little ideas or questions and i started writing snippets for her, and she started her word vomits (which are greatly missed. i want them back) and that was essentially all we talked about, apart from my habit of asking about her day etc until one fateful day that i decided to be a bitch answering dumb asks which got out of control and got us talking about other things and now here we are. here we are.

[hp-fruit-fest]

FAQs

Or: some actual frequently asked questions I figure I should probably address.

What if I sign up as a prompter or participant but decide to do both?

No problem! The settings on the form should now be changed to allow you to change your response. You are also free to email or DM me.

But honestly, if you don't, I'm not overly worried about it. The primary purpose of the sign-ups is so that I can reach out to people if there are any issues regarding a prompt or a submission. The most important part is my ability to link usernames to an email address I can contact.

The question of prompting, participation, or both is more for me to gauge interest and intent, and is not meant to lock you into one or another.

The purpose of this fest is to be as chill and fun as possible for y'all and for me! No stress, no pressure, no obligation. You have no responsibility to "drop out" or to meet a deadline (other than posting by June 20.)

Are you sending out confirmation emails?

For claims: no. There are unlimited claims, and I can see on my end who claimed what. Claims are more for me to have an idea of what to expect than anything, as I've no intention of chasing people down, demanding to know where the banana fic is. Or idk waving a banana threateningly at you.

For sign-ups: yes(ish.) Originally I was not, but now I will when I have time. Sign-ups are my biggest need here. As stated above, I need to be able to contact you if there are any issues with prompts or submissions. I don't expect there to be, but it's a precaution. I'd rather be able to reach out to you and fix a problem rather than having to delete anything with no notice.

Because sign-ups are so important on my end, and knowing my own personal anxiety with things, I know I would feel better knowing my response was logged and accepted. Because I am a busy lady, you may not get confirmation right away, and you are free to reach out to me via Discord (danpuff#4958), Tumblr DMs (here), or via email ([email protected]) to check. I do not mind answering questions!

Why is there a Google Form for claims if you can claim on AO3?

Because I'm allowing posting to AO3 and Tumblr, I wanted people to have the ability to log a claim outside of AO3. Even if you'd rather post to AO3, you can use the Google Form. By claiming a prompt on AO3, it will show up as a claim on your account.

As long as you have an open claim, it will show up when you post a new work, as an option you can select. If you do not want sign-ups or claims staring at you when you're in AO3, the Google form is fine. It's mostly a matter of preference!

Re: Mod Prompts, Do I have to use every part of a prompt in my creation?

Nope! Prompts are meant to inspire! Look at the Fruits as the "important" bit of the prompt, and the additional information as just that: additional inspiration you can use or discard as desired!

Does a fruit have to show up in the fic?

Yep! While the symbolism of fruit alone can be inspiring, this is a fruit fest and I wanna see some fruit! An actual, whole fruit must appear in the fic, though you are free to turn it into juice or jam or pie, if you want!

Where will creations be posted?

AO3 or Tumblr! On AO3 you can post in the collection (here) and on Tumblr you just tag this account so we can see it, reblog it, and log it!

If you have any other questions, let me know!

Send in an Ask on Tumblr

DM me on Tumblr

Email me at [email protected]

DM me on Discord at #danpuff4958

DM me on Tumblr @danpuff-ao3

Join the Discord server and post questions in the #fest-central channel.

Additionally:

This is only the second fest I've run, and my first solo! I'm still learning and figuring things out as I go along, so I hope you can all be patient and understanding with me! I started this fest out of my very fervent love of fruits (yes, seriously) and I really want us all to have a great time here!

That said, I am far from perfect, and still a novice fest runner, so if you can be kind and gentle, I can be helpful! Please reach out if you need anything! 😄

#hp fruit fest 2023 #hp fests #faq

[incarnateirony]

One of the strangest things to come to peace with in the Supernatural fandom was, the more successful I was in making the changes, or at least trying to, that I wanted, the more hostility I would get.

I'm not the first person it's happened to. Emily Rose they did it to so hard that even when she left fandom they were obsessed with her so badly a year later they accused me of being her for like a year.

Or there's the Abis of the world that girlbossed too close to the sun and suddenly are the targets of the opinion of every bored bitch in the fandom angrily judging someone else's life they're deep down about their access on.

For years I took absolute shit while protecting the market testing but trying to educate the public, and various other truths unearthed along the way with other conversations, contacts, connections and whatever else that led us where it did. Even trying to leak you the truth about this show I had morons screeching and flailing tooth and nail against me the whole itme and whaddya know it was dean fucking up time the whole time akrida included. Shit on a cracker, guys.

This fandom is a condensed clump of people, held together by a hierarchy of conventions that are actually a consumer illusion, where consumers fight to be the best consumers for the best consumer throne on twitter, or the ones that think they're MORE special because they got up a middle management chain enough to fuck around and try to be fascists controlling the conversation until it blows up in their face like Daniela.

Any time someone makes genuine efforts, it's not even "the other lane" that comes out for them. It's every useless sack of shit that just wants to scream on here and fight over digital territory they've squared out in their heads.

I bring this up right now, since another batch of my dedicated cult of antis realized I have, in fact, been telling the truth the whole time and have ramped up their angry revenge attacks, from yet again projecting THEIR own doxxing of ME and MY friends at me, which is an overt lie I've never done to them. Why? Because they tried to get hysterical on tumblr anons to warn the authors about a supernatural war for the show, or something, and boy that sounds real stupid when they say it out loud like that, but all else they can think of as active doxxers, is that I might doxx them, a vague "he might maybe" they've pulled for 2 years, while they doxx me, and while I still haven't doxxed them.

Why? Because they realized. I accomplished some shit. So now they're mad and trying to tear at my socials and shit. Like, UWU UNFOWWOW DIS TWITTER, what, the one I hid until you guys stalked it down anyway, cuz it's my personal? Bonus points for the terf dogwhistles from you on a name I used BEFORE you guys ever knew me.

Like guys even on days I don't post I get 200 residual traffic notes. My youtube following has increased more than 50%. My tumblr is just about hitting critical mass on relevant topics. What in gods green earth are you doing hunting down my personal account to fuss at then to scream when it gets attention, are you guys FUCKING OKAY

But yeah, anyone boosting those messages right now were fundamentally involved in that old server split. They even tried the doxxing concern troll THEN, TOO. When they tried a full server raid to delete my shit in discord, their excuse to delete the server or try to was they had mighta maybe said some personal stuff at some point in the server and had deluded themselves into thinking I even remembered this much less cared enough to hunt down any of them over a minor behavioral/rules correction like days prior they blew up about being held accountable to.

No lie. They got a rules slap on the wrist for user harassment, went bananas, tried to jack admin perms, delete shit in retaliation, cried and pretended they were the victims, then spent the next 2 years concern trolling in waves that I might doxx them, while they doxx me repeatedly, and I try to forget they exist in between.

You people need legitimate major psychotherapy at this point.

But like. Y'all have insane batshit bad faith takes about even J2M, why the fuck did I expect anything different from you frothy little goblins about any fan that gets visibility. You then apotheosize those fans into scapegoats to screech at nonstop and obsess about in the content gaps of your celebrities and pick at from the same ignorant uneducated bullshit angle. It doesn't matter who the target is. They just need to be more successful than you to receive your anger. Even when the show is telling you "hey, you just saw the result, you didn't have the full context of both perspectives" you just get fucking ANGRIER.

YOU. LOSE.

#Youtube

[guapisoohyun]

I was talking with my little sister about anime and talking about Hunter x hunter I remembered all my shenanigans around it, for example that at the time it was airing I was at high school and entered this social network/app and discovered the whole world of role play, the hxh roleplay community especially really left me marked forever like today I was listening to the ost (god that hyori ittai) and almost cried with the memories, what a time it was, it was full of happiness and actually a lot of learning to me, I learnt english since it wasn’t even my main language or mother tongue and all of the interaction was in english, I remember so many friends that at the moment I can even only tag @irregardlessly-tish and name and remember Captain, (Captain Kyosai) @eon-nabari I think Miso too, I remember being amazed that I could talk with people who were from different states and countries, usa, canada, argentina, even with spanish speaking friends we talked mostly in english, and I was online so much time, my english was never cleaner and fluid, even now I don’t have that level, I forgot some things, rn I’m double checking my words in google translate and I’m still sure I’m making mistakes hahahah I remember such kindness between all members, how fun it was, the interactions in character, how we would comment on hxh’s chapters as we watched them all at the same time, (the last eps from chimera ant arc Istg, we were all crying) I remember playing the online games that I can’t even find now or know how to look for to play by myself but still, without any of you <\3 time really has passed, I remember talking with all of you through skype (bc that was where our connections reached, to the personal, in real life realm) and I don’t even remember how that app worked nor my username and password to all those conversations that are now a lost treasure, I bust a brain cell trying to remember even tumblr and this personal account and definitely cried when I remembered that I probably deleted my roleplay account, my dear “lovelyblind”, my komugi, the queen as some of you called it, what a honor actually to have been behind such a character and many moments, my thoughts and writings, my key to that lost community gone fr, why did I do thatttt, I could have just left it there, in hiatus, suspended, but it’s irreparable and sadly I can get over it as I thought I did all these years but it was just forgetfulness, now I really cried my and all’s departure (omg that is also hxh ost), now I can claim again those memories and carry them with me forever. Gone from my precious hxh community I after tried to join kagerou project, pmmm and ghibli rp communities and it wasn’t the same at all, not to mention tumblr itself was at its climax when hxh also was, and I was part of that fandom at its peak, even before hxh rp I was in One piece rp, I also remember one luffy @rubberbastardout-blog who interacted with my komugi, a blast, but friendship at last, all of it, the one piece is truly the friends we made along the way hahahah, it made me sad to see the accounts I follow here, some I’m sure were hxh rp friends, and have not been used in years, more sad it makes me that the rest will not get to read me even if they are active somewhere, ah my online, far distance friends, I’m here, I’m Dei, I was Komugi :’( my gons, killuas, shaiapouf, neferpitou, meruem, main characters in hxh and in my life as their rp writers. My komugi blog was created early morning and I say goodbye to that phase same hour, who would have known:’) Anyway now it is a farewell and we shall continue life, we are still the same person and through years we’ll carry that person we were deep inside. We are all still somewhere remembering that we had a glorious and happy past and a royal life <3

#hxh #pmmm #role play #if some of u are still there show urself haha #jk im hopeless #I missed talking through tags #crying #bye

[the-interviewer]

Rules

1. This blog is for an alternate universe version of my DA, heavily inspired by Markiplier (Mark Fischbach) and his work Who Killed Markiplier?, along with the markcu overall. I am not affiliated with Mark and all characters of the markcu belong to him. Not all lore will be accounted for simply because I cannot keep track of it. Other Egos or characters Mark has created may be referenced here, but responses may vary (ie there’ll likely be a lot of Wilford since this DA works with/for him). However, the sole focus of this blog is for this version of the DA.

2. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES is straight up NSFW/18+ content permitted. Suggestive or just jokes can be fine, but if it’s too strong or makes me uncomfortable, I will delete the ask. Use your own discretion.

3. The main form of interaction on this blog is asks. You can send in asks directed at the DA themself, or simply theorizing about them. Imagines, headcanons, drabbles, short dialogues, and much more are also accepted. All OOC remarks will be surrounded by brackets [these things] and will be tagged accordingly. I only allow reblog threads with people I know or give permission to. All threads are discussed beforehand. Specific note about this blog: The DA is aroace and in a queerplatonic relationship with two other characters, Wilford Warfstache and Rose (my friend’s character; @fortuna-della-vedova), so any romantic asks are completely out the window unless they are about Damien. Asking for queerplatonic content with the interview trio is fine though. Cheers!

4. Anonymous asks or asks without specific indication otherwise will be addressed in second person with gender neutral terms. If you want to send in an ask as your own character or specify further details about your version of Y/N (anything you’d like potentially referenced somehow in the response or future ones), do not hesitate to do so!

5. I will attempt to tag any triggering content, but if something slips by me, do not hesitate to let me know. However, I will likely not tag content that reoccurs in WKM and the markcu as a whole simply because that would not make sense if you’ve made it this far. There will be some body horror simply because this DA can take whatever head they’re wearing and replace it with other items if they so please.

6. I have every right to delete any ask I want at any time without explanation. If this is because your ask made me uncomfortable, I may create a “do not ask” list in order to prevent this from happening again. If you think your ask got deleted, do not hesitate to send in a different one! However, Tumblr does hate me and likes to hide asks, so don’t immediately jump to the idea that I deleted it. As said before, please use your discretion and remember that there is an actual person behind the screen.

7. Any anons who wish to be identified later on may sign off their asks as they see fit, and will be given a tag to match. If you want to know whether or not a sign-off has already been taken, just ask and I will try find out.

8. You also may recognize a couple of my other markcu-related blogs such as @invinciblefixation (my general markcu blog) and @sisyphean-ibex (a blog for another alternate universe version of my DA). Honestly, at this point I should make an blog for my prime DA. It just might happen!

9. My tagging system is a work in progress, but so far it is as what follows:

#a short interview; - for asks

#and here we have… someone!; - for anons

#behind the scenes; - for ooc posts

#a break in our regularly scheduled program; - for my content that isn’t necessarily asks/roleplay (written work, art, etc)

#the interviewer; - content about this DA

#strawberry split delight; - content containing Wilford Warfstache

#sweet dreams tennessee; - content containing Rose

#in another time; - content containing Damien

#all too familiar a face; - content containing Darkiplier

#of grandeur and assholery; - content containing Actor

#an old friend of mine; - content containing Yancy

#splendid guests; - any other Egos

#our special guest star; - for any reblogged creations that aren’t mine

#roleplay thread; - pretty self-explanatory

#behind the scenes; #rules of conduct #[vibrates in excitement]

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

028 of 2023

Describe your hometown. What’s it like there?:

It’s a small coastal town placed by the North Sea, quiet in winter, busy during summer. There are a few hotels and restaurants there, and costs of apartments or houses are pretty high. It’s pretty there, though. My street is placed along the little forest and there’s a tram line there that is quite famous. I no longer live there, but I come back anytime I can.

What did you do yesterday evening?:

Chilling out.

Are you comfortable with leaving the house without any makeup on?:

I’m a dude, I see no reason why would I even wear make up at all.

Do you have any expensive hobbies?:

I guess getting the licence for shortwave radio and a decent equipment would be pretty expensive.

What length do you like to keep your nails at?:

Short. There’s nothing weird about it, though.

What’s your favorite memory with your last ex?:

Him singing to me when I was feeling down.

Have you ever felt physical pain in a dream?:

Yeah, I think twice.

What is the oldest online account that you still use?:

One forum. I’ve had a Tumblr before, but I deleted it.

Have you ever had Christmas carolers come to your house and sing for you?:

Yeah, but later we stopped letting them in.

Do you know anyone whose family has lived in the same house for 3+ generations?:

Not that I know of, seems rare in Belgium.

What was the last video game you beat?:

I don’t play video games.

What’s your favorite Studio Ghibli film?:

I don’t like any movies.

What did you learn from your last failed relationship?:

That beautiful eyes can be deceiving.

What country does your favorite band hail from?:

France.

What’s something on your to-do list that never actually gets done?:

Cleaning upstairs.

Have you ever been really passionate about something but then lost interest? If so, what was it?:

Everything goth.

Do you sleep with the TV or the radio on?:

TV, I can’t sleep when it’s dark and quiet.

What’s the worst thing about being male/female (whichever you are)?:

That whole toxic masculinity thing which I can’t relate to at all.

What movie has the best special effects?:

I couldn’t care less. Ew, movies.

What habit is essential to your daily life?:

Taking my medication.

What is your favorite documentary?:

I think it’s named Inside the World’s Toughest Prisons. That one is pretty cool. Also, Somebody Feed Phil. Both are interesting in a way they’re about different parts of the world, but from different perspectives.

When did you last have a vision test?:

Last year, I’m supposed to come this year, too. My vision is really bad.

What do you typically eat for breakfast?:

Oatmeal or something like that, but when we stayed in a hotel in Waterloo, I truly enjoyed full English breakfast. It just felt right.

What are three things you need to do tomorrow?:

Go somewhere, do the groceries, prepare the house for someone to visit.

#survey #random survey #q&a survey

[necessaryvent]

Nervous about being nervous. But fuck that. I will break that cycle. 

Honestly, I'm probably going to write this journal as if you already know me. I might not always be bothered going into back stories. This really is my journal. You can read along for my hot mess moments - I'm sure you'll pick it all up in good time. This is first and foremost for me. I won't care if nobody reads. Honestly. I'm not here to impress. These are my most unfiltered thoughts. My therapy.

As my first post describes, I used to have a livejournal account but deleted it when I reflected on the fact that it's Russian owned. I am so sorry for the innocent Russians caught up in that conflict but I just have to do something that feels right for the common cause and I hope they will understand. Putin is a dick.

So here I am on Tumblr and tonight's journal entry is actually about my (kind of) ex husband. We are on good terms. We will reassess next year whether we want to reconcile or go ahead with divorce. Like I said, we've been getting along well. We have more cycles to break and more space that we need to keep between us while we work ourselves out as individuals. He needs to sort through some of his selfish shit and I need to be more selfish and also less co-dependent. Less triggered by him (doesn't mean some of his actions have been excusable or anything - just that I let him be my whole emotional world for so long and I want to know what it's like to not wrap my whole well-being and moods up in what he's doing or not doing). I want to know if one day we can be together without falling into old toxic patterns or whether we are better off as friends and family (we have kids). I don't want to be an emotional mess anymore in my life. Not over him. So we are taking time to work on ourselves and for me that means keeping a standard.

Anyway, we've been getting close and feeling more secure with each other. Optimistic even. There's a long way to go but we are remembering the good things about each other and feeling affection. We get together with the kids for family time and we are 99% getting along well. The other 1% is those triggering issues we are trying to watch out for which just reminds us why we are taking life very slowly and separately for the most part. No rushing in until we've given our all into healing and growing individually.

Anyway, I'm getting a little nervous now that we are getting along. We've set a date for a date. Without the kids. A silly event that we will both enjoy in November. It will be good timing to see if we really can catch up alone and have it be an indicator of future romance. Maybe shit will fall apart before then, maybe it won't. But after spending months just putting one foot in front of the other and being more 'present' instead of getting ahead of myself (my therapist would be impressed because I am great at being 500 steps ahead of myself), this makes me realise there are upcoming events that make me nervous. I keep reminding myself to stay in the here and now. To be philosophical about that November date. To not put extra pressure on myself or him and just let things flow until then.

I guess I feel nervous about feeling nervous. I feel like I am used to a pattern of him pulling the rug out from under us every time things get good. I remind myself that if he keeps doing that, it's just good information that supports us just being friends and that's OK. I'm strong. It took courage to separate. It has taken courage to be where I am now (living my worst fear which was being separated and all that came along with that). If I had to keep going alone I absolutely could. And with his friendship and support as the father of my kids I really could be OK too. Would I like romance and a beautiful future with us together as a healthy nuclear family? Of course! It's the dream, isn't it? And there is love and attraction between us. My genuine intuition says we are not done with one another. And if we are meant to be, then we have our whole lives ahead so may as well do things right.

But I don't want to get lost in a fantasy either. I want to be placed firmly in reality. I'll know when I know what I'm meant to know, you know?

I feel like maybe I'm ready to do some self sabotaging because I'm nervous so this journal entry is an attempt to remind myself not to do that. To take some space if I need to. Just be cool!

I am also writing this because I want to get that nervous energy and insecurity and potential to obsess over him out of my system for the night so I don't lose sleep over him (a thing I am working on not doing because I do not want to let him steal my energy anymore - I was so overly invested in his every little thought and action and I don't want to do that anymore no matter what happens between us).

Right now we are good. Right now a new week is about to begin. A busy week with my own life to think about. And I am glad I am finding myself again. That's important. So I can obsess over him in my journal for a few minutes but then I get back to me. Which is how it should be.

You have no idea how far I've come. Honestly. And I am determined to go further.

Goodnight new journal.

[star-puff]

announcement !

i've been drafting this post in my head for months tbh but i'm just gonna start it off & get straight to the point: i'm leaving tumblr!

well, i (meg, of tumblr user star-puff acclaim) am leaving tumblr, more specifically, haikyuu fic tumblr. this probably does not come as a surprise to a lot of you considering my past activity over the past few months (or lack thereof), but like i said before i'd been thinking about leaving tumblr ever since june of last year. the original plan was to leave at the end of summer 2021 because i'd Assumed i would have finished at least One of my series by then but . but well :") turns out it was more difficult than i thought to meet that deadline :"")

(skip the end of the post to get the important @s and links to where i'll be next :) )

why i'm leaving:

there were a lot of reasons why i wanted to leave back then, and i won't really get into it in This post; i feel like what i felt back then was a common sentiment in the community and digging into that can of worms unwarranted is a bit . yknow, lmao. but if someone is still curious i'll still answer, because to a certain degree what i felt back then is a reason of why i'm leaving Now. the real reason i'm actually leaving though is because i've just lost all motivation for writing haikyuu fic. call it the loss of hyperfixation or me just becoming too busy to write and be online like i used to, or just me being tired of it all, but at some point writing for this blog started to feel less of an outlet and more like an obligation or a chore. it didn't really help that a good chunk of my friends & mutuals on this corner of hqblr had already left and my interaction as a whole was just looking a little ... 🤕, and it didn't really show signs of getting any better with all my time offline either. i'm saying this as objectively as possible, but i feel like there just isn't really a place for me here anymore, at least a place that anyone would really care to visit or stay at anymore, so i'm just going to cut my losses and not overstay my welcome more than i already have :) /gen

what about strawberry marmalade?

i really am sorry for those who were looking forward to seeing me finish strawmarm, but the way things are looking ... </3 i'll probably be uploading all of my long fics over to my ao3 and see if i ever come back to writing and finishing strawmarm, because i really Did have it all planned out,,, but well . you know where we are now :") long story short, strawmarm is discontinued unless i miraculously get hyperfixated on haikyuu and that embarrassingly stupid strawberry man again

okay? what now 🤨🤨:

i'll be leaving this blog up as an archive! i honestly thought about deleting it but after thinking it over i think i'd end up missing and regretting it if i did, so i'm leaving it up for the memories (i'm sentimental and sappy like that ... cringe ik :/). i'll probably leave another post before i leave giving the same links in an easier to read format without all this ... [gestures above] LMAO but you can find my new tumblr @togeqii and my ao3 @/togeqi :) if any mutuals want my discord feel free to ask too!

in any case, this was star-puff's meg!

i'll stay until next week to say my goodbyes and answering any asks that get sent in (if they get sent in 🤕🤕) before i log out of this account for good but yeah! thank you for indulging in my brainrot and word vomit for a year and a half, thank you for those who stuck with me since the beginning and thank you to those who joined along the way. you all really did make me smile through the toughest times <3 thank you to all of my mutuals, those who were stayed Friends On Dash and those who became more than that :) and this is sappy but yuren if you end up reading this, thank you for writing fic that inspired me to make this blog in the first place :) you're a real one for that <3

lots of love, always, even till the end <3

#pls reblog this if you see it! #anyway ummm #meg's goodbye party

[pinksatinsashes]

Hi hannah! recently there’s been some controversy of being “that girl” and how it’s glorified on tiktok. I love self improvement tumblr because it’s the best thing that’s happened to me and im sure a lot of us! it’s a sense of community! It’s giving me anxiety that “that girl” is being looked down upon when it’s a motivator factor for me to be my dream girl

Hi angel!

Honestly I don't get the controversy and hatred of the trend if I'm being completely honest. I'm not sure if it's because I've made an effort not to get annoyed or bothered by things that don't matter or what but my ultimate verdict is:

It's really not that deep.

I live a life of not stressing my self out about things that don't matter so when I see others doing it, it's just like? Why?

When I see something dumb I go "well that's dumb" then I scroll along. I don't go on about it and ruin it for other people.

Anyway, you want my opinion so lets get into it.

As I said I get both sides.

The Positive Side

The "That girl" trend has inspired a lot of people to take better care of themselves. Do regular exercise, eat better, take care of their mental health.

And seeing as right now things that are being glorified are:

Getting plastic surgery to fit the beauty standard (which is literally always changing)

Victimising yourself in literally every way possible.

Talking bad about yourself as a form of "humour".

Binge eating unhealthy food for views.

Doing drugs and binge drinking.

Trauma dumping

Sharing literally every detail of your life for full on strangers to see.

Being a bimbo????

The That Girl trend is absolutely not the worst thing to come out of tiktok or social media in general.

Now do I think the 'That girl' trend is the best thing ever? Absolutely not.

The Negative Side

Now I'm not even going to talk about how people think its unrealistic and unattainable because I completely disagree and wholeheartedly believe that people are trying to make excuses.

Because waking up early drinking green juice, working out, journalling and meditating really isn't that hard.

I can genuinely do all of that before 9am if I wanted to. Do I? No, because I don't want to.

I don't like green juice and it's really not that great for you. By juicing the fruit and veg you're removing the majority of the fibre and leaving a bunch of sugar with reduced nutritional value. Now this would be fine if it actually tasted good, but it doesn't to me. I'm not trying to act like I'm better than anyone but if I'm going to drink something with very little nutritional value it better taste good.

I don't like waking up "early" to go work out. I wake up at 7-8am every day and that's good enough for me. I also don't like working out in the morning, it tires me out. I work out at 4pm, get home, cook and eat my dinner then chill for a few hours and go to sleep. I always get the best sleep when I do this and it's what works best for me.

I also don't like meditating or journalling in the morning either, I do both those things right before bed.

This all leads to my biggest problem about this trend.

While scrolling through tiktok the other day (before I deleted it) I saw this girl showing the behind the scenes to her self care account. The things she shows in those videos she didn't actually do. She'd get into her shower, film turning it on and never get in, film the face masks and never put them on and lay out pyjamas that she never wore.

It got me to thinking, how many people on the "That girl" trend are actually doing the things that they show and how many are just holding the pose for a second or two for the video then go pig out on the sofa.

My biggest problem is that people are doing it for the trend, for the aesthetic.

The that girl trend is an issue because of what it is.

The that girl trend is about becoming THAT girl that everyone sees on social media that has their life together, and while that isn't inherently wrong, the problem is that it's not really about being "That girl" it's about LOOKING like that girl.

No one is really doing the exercise to look after their body and become healthier, they're doing it to post it on their stories.

No one is drinking green juice because they like it or because it's good for them, they're drinking it because of the trend.

That's the problem, people aren't actually improving themselves, they're just pretending to.

Because self improvement isn't about waking up early drinking green juice, working out, journalling and meditating.

It's about doing things in that are actually achievable and can be maintained. There is no way that I can maintain waking up at 5am everyday to go to the gym, I tried it and I hated it. Now I wake up when I want to and go to the gym at a time that makes sense for me.

Self improvement isn't about journalling because of a trend, it's about journalling for whichever reason that you want to journal. I journal to organise and make sense of my thoughts which VASTLY helps my mental health. Others my journal just so they can look back on their previous days.

Self improvement isn't about eating healthy because of a trend, it's about eating healthy because listen, you only have this one life and this body and if you're going to be here living you better make the most of it and look after yourself.

When you do things because it's trendy, you miss the point a lot of the time. For example, half the 'healthy' meals I see aren't even that healthy. And also what's healthy for me may not be healthy for you.

Self improvement is about improving yourself, not about trying to come across a certain way for social media.

That girl isn't being looked down upon, "That girl" is inspiring but guess what, she does what she does because she wants to and it makes sense for her. not for social media.

Lastly, my love to answer the rest of your question.

"That Girl" Tikok vs Self Improvement Tumblr

I honestly don't think they're the same at all, though they can be if you only follow the aesthetic accounts on Tumblr.

I find that self improvement Tumblr teaches you ways to improve your life. Teaches you how to set boundaries and how to make yourself feel and look better. I've seen so many posts speaking out about being yourself and not following trends.

Self improvement Tumblr is about ACTUAL change. It teaches you how and TikTok just shows you the aesthetic and not so much the hard work that it takes to get there.

TikTok doesn't explain why you drink green juice, just that ooh it looks so pretty with this filter on it.

I've never seen a blog tell you to do something without telling you why, this way you can make an informed decision instead of just taking peoples word for it.

-

I hope this makes you feel better as I understand where you're coming from. Theres nothing wrong with being inspired by the trend or motivated by it. That's the whole point of it. But it's just not helpful when you're making moves to improve yourself because it doesn't tell you how to do it, it just shows you the final product.

Doing all the things that girl does won't make you that girl. Nor should you want to be. You should be the best version of yourself, not someone else.

And also, don't let other peoples thoughts on a trend take the fun out of it for you, you are more than capable of forming your own thoughts and opinions and you should.

Anxiety is hard I know. But there's such a beautiful freedom that comes from not caring about others opinions on you and doing what works best for you.

MUAH xx

#hannahlovesyou #hannahanswersquestions #self improvement #that girl #tiktok #trends #instagram #level up #level up journey #level up mindset

[acrookedmouth]

hello, old friends

So, um, what's up? Been awhile since I used this blog. Or this website, even. You might not remember me. In some ways I hope you don't--it would save me the embarrassment of having to be compared to my younger self. Did you know I got my first Tumblr account in 2008? I was sixteen and in high school and worked part time at a mall HMV in downtown Ottawa. My url was chosen from a lyric in a Johnny Flynn song from his first album which I listened to almost every day that whole summer. A few summers after that I started watching Supernatural (2005-2020 god bless r.i.p. etc.) and everything kind of spiralled on from there.

You probably knew me under the name dirtyovercoats if you followed me back then, maybe even on that original blog before it got deleted by admin in 2014 for posting one too many Frightened Rabbit songs (r.i.p.). I was in a bad place mentally when that happened and still only freshly out in the world at 22, so I'm gonna be real with you when I say that whole ordeal kind of ruined my relationship with the site for a long time. When I first logged in the other day to revamp this blog space, I was amused and amazed to discover the last time I'd actually used it was in 2018.

(An excellent post to go out on though, I do say.)

I knew it had to be 2018, instinctually, by the declaration of my age alone, "26." In only a few weeks I'll be 30, which I have now discovered, nearly being there, only feels insane because of how young you still also feel when it happens. It's actually pretty exciting!

Don't get me wrong, a lot's happened in the interim to make me grow up a bit more. I went to grad school, and the first wave of covid hit. I went on mental health leave from grad school, and the second wave of covid hit. I started HRT, I returned to grad school, made a thesis about being queer and trans, and then the third wave of covid hit. I got a job at an art store, got vaccinated twice, quit said job at the art store after one too many crying breakdowns in the basement, graduated with a MFA, and fourth wave of covid hit. And I think that's about where we're at now, plus or minus a few waves and hits and, recently, plus a booster.

I think we've all been pretty traumatized by the world these last few years, but at the very pathetic, putrid least I can't say it hasn't pushed me to do a lot of... growing, shall we say, emotionally speaking. Spiritually, maybe, though I am an atheist. Certainly existentially. Most importantly, I discovered weed, and ifkyk, you know. Sherlock Holmes got it and understood.

And so here we are! I kinda thought I might be ready to step out into the world again. I wish I had been ready sooner, but what's done is done is done. Once I finished grad school I kind of realised that as gruelling the experience of having covid hit half way through your research project sometimes (often) was, it also made me far more confident in myself as an artist, writer, and general creative person, which, in the end, was what I had wanted for myself all along.

I'm sharing this here with you all here because I like honesty and because I wanted to re-introduce myself, regardless if you knew me then or are only knowing me for the first time reading this right now. My name's still Anna, despite being an AFAB trans person taking testosterone and using they/them pronouns, because I love that name and nothing else has ever felt so right for me or felt so much like it was the same colour as my soul. It's also a palindrome, which I've always really liked for pure aesthetic reasons, and I'm happily quite vain that way. I'm explaining this in very simple, straightforward terms because people sometimes get confused by the idea of a transmasc person still using a traditionally "feminine" name. But the thing is part of the wonder of being trans for me is not having to cater to heteronormative restrictions or categories anymore, which, like many trans people intimately know, is in practice actually a very difficult thing to do! I've given myself permission to be free of them, but it's a choice only I can make for myself, consciously, and sometimes with great effort. It's hard, and it shouldn't be this hard, but no matter how difficult it is it's also kind of wonderful, because it is absolutely worth it, in the end, to actually see in your future a way for you to be happy.

This is all to say! I think I'm getting there, or on the way there, sometimes. It's more than I've had in awhile. And it's new and good and I want to keep it going. Which is why I've come to face one of my last great fears: the big blue. It's been awhile, so I'm sure it'll take some time catching up. I kind of went crazy and razed the post archive of this account to the ground, to give myself a real chance to start fresh. Cowardly, maybe, but also it was 2AM and I'd had two edibles and was bored from literally waiting for some paint to dry in my studio (my bedroom floor).

Which brings me to the VERY LAST THING I promise: I kind of wanted to start posting art here again. And other stuff who knows; I've come to embrace the fact that I have little discipline or inclination for a real schedule. I'll see you again soon ❤️.

#baby's first post

[fantrash]

Searching for a Stranger Things Fic!!

Hi guys. I'm looking for a Stranger Things fanfic on AO3. It was actually one of my comfort fics and I'm pretty sure I had it bookmarked, I know it’s likely that the author deleted it, so I was wondering if anyone of you had it downloaded and could send it to me (send me a message here on tumblr or a dm to my twitter account @ FanTrashNumber1 if you have it please, then I’ll send you my gmail).

Onto the summary:

The fic itself was about Steve and Robin being in a fake relationship to help her keep up appearances (she also gets an actual girlfriend, a girl that it's in band with her). The Byers come for a visit and the whole gang encounters the "lovebirds" in a diner where they were going to have breakfast. Nancy and Jonathan find out then about the "relationship" and get jealous (endgame is Nancy/Steve/Jonathan btw). Murray was there being a$$holey and mentioning something along the lines "oh so we REALLY like Steve" in reference to the conversation he had with Jancy in season 2. Steve is a BAMF and tears him a new one in a very passive aggressive way.

Fast forward a bit Jancy and Robin/Steve go on a supposedly double date to a bowling alley. Boys vs Girls, boys are winning. Nancy is being a bit of a bit©h to Robin. Robin sees her crush, Steve covers for her so she can go on an actual date. Jancy try to make an intervention for Steve because they think Robin doesn't love him. They leave the bowling alley, Steve sings in the car, they go to the Wheeler residence, Steve and Jonathan come out, confessions of feelings are made, spicy times happen, confessions of k¡nks are made, Steve mentions that Robin is gonna flip when he tells her (or something like that), Jancy think that they just helped Steve cheat and panic a bit and Steve comes clean without outing Robin.

The fic ends with the kids coming to the house and Steve inviting Robin over and cooking for everyone.

#ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ao3 stuff #deleted fanfiction #fandom #fanfic #stranger things #stranger things fandom #stranger things fanfiction #steve harrington #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #jonathan byers #nancy x jonathan x steve #fake relationship #looking for a fic #lost fic

[swiftgronmasterpost]

Spring/Summer/Fall 2013 - The End(?)

Click here for an appropriately sad Swiftgron breakup playlist.

I don’t know if it’s important or not but Dianna wishes several friends a late happy birthday on twitter, apologizing for missing the actual day through this spring and summer.  It seems like maybe she’s going through something (like a bad break up?) because it’s not like her to miss friends’ birthdays.

March 26, 2013 - Maybe a relevant tweet?

April 7, 2013 - Dianna tweets a photo of James Dean in a day dream like setting:

April 16, 2013 - The article that outed them:

Someone made a fake article that said Swiftgron was dating:

Dianna tweets seven times that day which is a bit much for her.

The hashtag here stands out to me:

The fake article goes viral and all week people are tweeting about the possibility that Dianna and Taylor are dating.

April 23, 2012

It seems to culminate on this day.  Many people are buzzing about Swiftgron and this actress tweets:

That’s right at midnight.

About 12 hours later Dianna deletes her public Tumblr:

On that same day Dianna reblogs several things on her private Tumblr.  These two stand out to me:

She reblogged both of these posts and the only hashtag they had in common was “#lost love” - she was searching that hashtag.

I think it’s very clear that today is the day Swiftgron 2.0 broke up.  I believe they were forced to by their management teams due to being outed.

April 24, 2013 - Taylor seems regretful/stressed out she screenshots her text to Austin and posts:

I think Dianna’s obviously upset about this and as an act of defiance she tweets at Taylor a few days later (Taylor does not respond.)

April 29, 2013

Instead Taylor posts on Dianna’s Birthday (April 30) a silly google search (very DIanna in nature tbh) with a play on the lyrics from 22:

Taylor had the week of Dianna’s 27th birthday off of the Red tour (it was scheduled like that) but as far as we know they did not hang out.

May 4, 2013 - Ours

At her first show since their supposed break-up, Taylor performs Ours as a surprise song. She introduces it by saying: “This is a song about how, when you fall in love everybody starts to give you their opinion. I imagine it could be really hard to make a relationship last, I wouldn’t know. But, given that everyone is giving you their own opinion about it, I think that the only opinion you should really listen to is yours and if you love that person, that should be all that matters.”

Dianna dyes her hair brown and goes to Morocco a week later with Ashley (”You searched the world for something else, To make you feel like what we had”) from about May 11 - May 14 or 15.  While there she attends the A Small World relaunch. ASW could be viewed as a bit “sketchy” if you will.  I think this is where she befriends Olivia Wilde.

This is Dianna’s first (known) trip to Morocco (Derek Blasberg is there too) but she seems to be drawn there over and over again after this, even marrying Winston Marshall there (and possibly meeting another boyfriend, Gus Wenner there.)

May 19, 2013 - Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas

Taylor wins 8 awards and says this during her acceptance speech:

This and the performance of Ours makes me think Taylor is bitter about a break up right now, even though publicly she broke up with Harry back in January.

This is also the event where Taylor is famously grossed out by Justin and Selena’s hetero nonsense and does this:

It seems like as always, Taylor has a lot going on right now...some kind of drama with Justin is boiling but it’s possible she’s also referencing her breakup with Dianna in her acceptance speech.

Dianna pops back up in NYC.

May 20, 2013 - WLW icon Kristen Stewart apparently spends the night at Taylors?

May 28, 2013 - Taylor plays Haunted on the Red Tour and gives a speech:

"This is a song that I haven't played on this tour so far. It came up when one of my friends tweeted the lyrics to it today and it reminded me that I haven't played this song in about two years. It has to do with the fact that, you know people talk about ghosts all the time. You just kind of imagine it being this supernatural thing, but there's another kind of ghost and it's just a person who is out there walking in the world or just doesn't love you anymore and that's a whole different kind of being haunted." Seems like she’s really going through it.

July 2, 2013 - Anniversary of Hyannis Port trip and interesting private Tumblr post from Dianna:

Bad things happen this summer.  Cory Monteith passes away and Taylor is assaulted at a meet and greet by a DJ.

July 2013 - Dianna buys a house in LA (I Wish You Would)

August 2013 - Dianna’s whosirmesir moniker gets outed and she stops blogging under that tumblr account.

August 14, 2013 - Taylor is in a weird place according to the Lover diaries:

1.  she seems to have basically written The Lakes here

2.  she’s really harping on themes she ends up addressing in I Know Places, Out of the Woods, and Wonderland

August 29, 2013 - Dianna steps out with restaurateur Nick Mathers.  

Not sure what to make of this one.  Dianna seems to date two types of men:  1. teeny bopper actors for bearding and pr purposes (it generally seems) and 2. rich businessmen.  Nick is type 2, but their relationship is reported on as if it’s PR.  “Sources” call up gossip sites to fill them in on the relationship and both their projects get plugged along with announcements on them as a couple:

I don’t know if they were more or less legit but she goes out with Taylor five days later...

September 4, 2013 - The Fun! Concert:

Swiftgron’s last pre-Kaylor public sighting - they go to a Fun! concert in LA

It’s just a split instant of video footage but Sarah Hyland uploads this to Vine and it does not look like Dianna is enjoying herself:

Note:  It kind of looks like DIanna has her arm around Taylor’s waist and also the person to the right of Taylor is Selby Drummond who is still friends with DIanna as of writing of this masterpost (December 2020) and who still appears to be a fan of Taylor’s.

Dianna does look miserable but I do think it’s interesting they seem to be making an effort to hang out on the two year anniversary of their public (perhaps private as well) first meeting.

Dianna tweets about the concert the next day:

September 6, 2013 - Taylor plays Speak Now as the surprise song on the Red tour.  Interesting given the timing of Dianna and her new boyfriend being public just one week before this.

September 8, 2013 - Taylor plays Sad, Beautiful Tragic for the first time ever live and gives this speech:

"I kind of feel like playing a song I've never ever played live before. This is um a song that I wrote about how you know just because something's over doesn't mean it wasn't incredibly beautiful. Cause another lesson I've learned is not all stories have a happy ending and you have to learn how to deal with that. So this is a song about a story that didn't end so happily but was still supposed to happen. This is called Sad, Beautiful, Tragic."

I don’t think this song was originally written about Dianna but I do think at this time while they stumble through the last phase of their relationship Taylor was inspired to sing it.

October 2013 - Taylor writes I Wish You Would, a song inspired by an ex who had recently bought a house near her driving past her house.  It’s thought to be about Harry but Harry didn’t buy a house in LA until March 2014.  But of course we know Dianna did buy a house near Taylor’s in LA earlier this fall.

November 11, 2013 - The music video for “She’s Just Another Girl” premiers starring Dianna looking stunning in high fashion drag, dressed up as the lead singer, and lip syncing the words to the song:

Some lyrics to the song include:

All of my friends say I should move on She's just another girl, don't let her stick it to your heart so hard And all of my friends say it wasn't meant to be And it's a great big world, she's just another girl

I could be reeling them in left and right Something's got a hold on me, tonight Well maybe all of my friends should confront The fact that I don't want another girl

I think it’s at least possible that Dianna was drawn to this project because the lyrics resonated to her given what she was going through with Taylor at the time.

November 12, 2013 - Day of Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show rehearsals and Dianna posts this (now deleted) picture:

November 13, 2013 - Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show where Taylor performs and Karlie Kloss walks the runway.

Dianna posts this picture (now deleted) of her at Emma Stone’s birthday party from 11 months previous:

It’s likely she’s looking at Taylor in this photo who was seated across from her.

It’s a very random picture to post.  It wasn’t titled as a throwback and it wasn’t an exact year after the picture was taken (prompting some kind of happy birthday shout out to Emma Stone or anything) - just a random picture of Dianna smiling, likely at Taylor. 

November 17, 2013 - Dianna posts a (now deleted) photo about missing someone:

November 21, 2013 - Taylor posts lyrics from a hopeful love song about a troubled relationship:

Lyrics:

December 9, 2013 - Dianna listens to Pale Blue Eyes

Lyrics are about being emo over a lost love with Blue Eyes:

Sometimes I feel so happy Sometimes I feel so sad Sometimes I feel so happy But mostly you just make me mad Baby, you just make me madLinger on your pale blue eyes Linger on your pale blue eyes

Thought of you as my mountaintop Thought of you as my peak Thought of you as everything I've had, but couldn't keep I've had, but couldn't keep

Linger on your pale blue eyes Linger on your pale blue eyes

If I could make the world as pure And strange as what I see I'd put you in the mirror I put in front of me I put in front of meLinger on your pale blue eyes Linger on your pale blue eyes

Skip a life completely Stuff it in a cup She said, "Money is like us in time It lies, but can't stand up" Down for you is upLinger on your pale blue eyes Linger on your pale blue eyesIt was good what we did yesterday And I'd do it once again The fact that you are married Only proves you're my best friend But it's truly, truly a sinLinger on your pale blue eyes Linger on your pale blue eyes

December 11, 2013 - You know the drill...Dianna posts a now deleted photo to Instagram:

December 13, 2013 - Dianna posts an attention grabbing photo on Taylor’s Birthday

Conclusions - Swiftgron very clearly goes through a rough breakup due to being outed. 

Then they attempt some sort of reconciliation - even hanging out (date night?) on the second anniversary of their Fairfax Flea Market meetcute, but it goes wrong.  

Taylor is on tour for much of this time and Dianna is posting angst ridden and peculiar Instagram posts exactly at the time Taylor meets Karlie.

Click here to keep reading!

[thweaty]

tomdaya tea ☕️

ok i have to submit this because it’s just TEW much to explain otherwise. like i said i stan them both so i been here for it all and know ALL the tea. i’ll give you the rundown of their relationship and then the drama that went down when she was dating jacob. there’s a whole tumblr timeline spanning years you can google if you’re interested in seeing it in detail but i’ll give you the basics. this is going to be a literal dissertation sorry in advance but i feel responsible for letting the general public know about the tomdaya agenda since i know so much

so they started dating in like aug/sept 2016 right after they finished filming homecoming. he went to canada right after to film another movie and during the course of filming she went to visit him and he flew to la to visit her, this is when people started getting sus. when he finished filming this movie he made an ig story about how he was going home to london to be with his family and spend the holidays with them, except he lied because he flew to la to see z and spend thanksgiving with her and her family lmao (he actually spent thanksgiving with her family 3 years in a row 2016-2018….more on that later tho 👀) her cousin exposed them when he posted a video on thanksgiving at her house and you could see her and tom cuddling on the couch. so everyone was like they’re 100% dating. like i said he was always flying to see her, he was going to workout classes with her mom and shit, he always stayed at her house in la (there’s multiple sets of photos of him outside her house with luggage). another thing that convinced people was sometime in early 2017 she made a whole snapchat story about how she was super sick and overworked and then after that accidentally posted a snap to her story that said “your sick girlfriend really loves you”. she deleted it quickly because it was obviously an accident and wasn’t meant to be public but people got screenshots. tom was also in nyc visiting z when she was filming the greatest showman and told a fan he met that he was in town visiting his girlfriend because he dumb. 

so at this point we KNOW they’re dating. zendaya is notorious for being extremely private with relationships, the guy she dated before tom she was with for 4 years and called him her best friend all along. she didn’t admit they actually had dated until after they broke up bc he cheated on her. so her being so private with tom and hiding it was expected. all this same shit goes on for the next nearly three years, they’re doing long distance but he flies to see her at least once a month sometimes more, they spend time with each others families, visit each other on set, etc. 

so this is where it gets interesting. tom is photographed on the euphoria set during a night shoot in like early may 2019. this is apparently right around the time they break up. tom’s best friend tuwaine was dating this girl audrey and when they broke up she started spilling tea on tomdaya (tom unfollowed her after this so it was def true). she said they broke up in may because they were fighting more due to long distance AND tom was tired of being so private, he didn’t want to be public but was over being so secretive and wanted to be a little more lax but she wasn’t comfortable with that. they decided to stay friends. the far from home press tour was in june and they were clearly still super close friends, nobody could even tell they were broken up cause they were so chummy (looking back now it’s more obvious cause tom was saying shit about his love life being a disappointment and stuff). they go their separate ways after the premiere but stay friends and continue to interact on social media, even months after the breakup tom met a girl at a con dressed like mj and asked if he could take a photo with her to send to zendaya so they were def still talking and stuff

fast forward to feb 2020. z is dating jacob and they’re being papped like every single day in nyc. pictures come out of them kissing out in the open in nyc. as a fan of z this was VERY weird to me because she’s always so private, but i was like maybe she’s trying something new because being so private caused the downfall with tom. BUT then she started DMing her fan accounts on twitter and ig asking them to take the kissing photos down (so idk what happened, she had to knew they were being papped but maybe she had second thoughts and regretted it)…. her fan accounts do delete the photos, but it’s too late. everyone has already seen them including tom, who is in the middle of a self-proclaimed instagram break. the day after the kissing photos came out, he goes back on ig and unfollowed two of z’s best friends, one being her assistant and basically brother darnell who tom was also good friends with. he posts a photo on his story of him drinking and puts emojis over his eyes and said something like “back for a minute, now i’m gone again.” he was going through it lmao so he literally went onto ig to be petty and unfollow people close to z because he was mad she was kissing her bf of a few months in public when they were together for nearly three years. and obviously he couldn’t unfollow her so he did the next best thing, and fans obviously took notice. a week later he followed darnell back cause i guess he realized how bad it looked but the damage was already done. tom and z from then on do not interact or acknowledge each other for the next SIX MONTHS. idk if they fought or if she was mad he unfollowed darnell or what. but it was MESSY. 

a month later tom starts dating this girl nadia, she moves into his house a few weeks into dating for quarantine. they date throughout those lockdown months. z breaks up with jacob sometime in june. she gets nominated for the emmy at the end of july, and days after she gets nominated her and tom start liking all of each others photos again. the assumption is he reached out to congratulate her and they made up. a few days after they start interacting again, tom posts a photo of his girlfriend on ig, and z likes it. tom and nadia break up like a week later 💀 he was filming uncharted in berlin at this point, him and z continue to interact, he finishes uncharted and flies right to atlanta to start filming spider-man. they’re still in atlanta now and we know they hang out all the time, but a lot of people think they’re back together because they’ve done some very 👀 things. her mom came to atlanta for thanksgiving and you guessed it… tom spent it with them (which we only know cause the celeb chef who cooked for them posted on his story that he made thanksgiving dinner for zendaya and tom holland. he then deleted and deactivated cause he realized he fucked up lmao). they started interacting with each other’s families and friends again. hunter (jules from euphoria) who is z’s best friend drove to atlanta to see her and her and tom followed each other. tom is very selective of who he follows and doesn’t even follow a lot of his costars so people were shook by this, especially because him and hunter met multiple times before but never followed each other. i have no idea if they’re back together, at the very least they’re good friends again, but i wouldn’t be surprised at all if they were. we’ll see what happens when they finish filming 👀👀👀 lmk your thoughts, questions, concerns etc. 

bitch my fave part was zendaya liking that pic and tom and his gf breaking up a week later 😭😭

#my GOD #submission #i kno this is a controversial topic but i love the drama SKNDF #thank u anon >:)

[djdhba]

Posting this on an alt account. Ohm has people to watch other apps. They watch tumblr, Wattpad, anything you can write fics on. He also prevents people from saying his real name and saying anything bad about him. I know because I’ve seen the dms between him and another person about it. I’ve deleted most of my personal works with anything in him including my drafts on Wattpad. Just a heads up. He’s already seen all your fics probably and has them screenshotted/saved. Just be wary. He’s a narcissist. If that wasn’t given. The way he talked to them was horrid. Making them looks shit up and coach them on what to say to people to try to get any info out of them. It’s fucked up. There isn’t just one. There are several. Just delete everything if you can. I used to look up to him but now he’s just being childish. You will probably see this Ohm. Grow up Ohm. We aren’t 15 year olds anymore. We are adults now and see how selfish and childish you are being. Just stop. We all knew you did stuff like this but not telling the whole story is something completely unacceptable. You had time to talk to Del about this. Whether you were good friends or not. You could’ve brought it up and said I have to know the truth. You could’ve gone to ACTUAL FUCKING POLICE if you really thought there was distribution of child porn, which is what minor’s nudes are called btw. You could’ve handled this so much better.

I’m just disappointed in you Ohm. That’s all. I’m not ashamed to had been part of your community because I met so many great friends there. I have a wonderful friend group I talk to and get along with because of your community. But you’ve disappointed us Ohm. You’ve let us all down with how you did this. If this makes you feel guilty, it should. Everyone knows criminal records are public so if they wanted to know the truth, they can always look for it. You could’ve done better. I would say you are better but I’m not sure anymore.... I feel like I’m writing a break up letter at this point haha. I hope you actually take what your fans have to say to heart. Especially if it was “all for the fans” and not some stupid petty stunt. You need a break from everything. Take some time to rethink your actions Ohm. You did things the wrong way. The very wrong way....

Good bye for now,

A 5+ year fan of Ohmwrecker.

#ohmwrecker

[growsagain]

Heya! I've been a long time fan (and am BEYOND excited to see you making a comeback WOO), and I really wanted to ask what got you through the early days of making kinky content; I've been really struggling to commit myself to making belly/gas fetish artwork, but I seem to be caught in an endless loop of being really excited about it, making an account, posting some stuff, but then getting embarassed about it and deleting my account before it has a chance to go anywhere! Did you ever struggle with anything like this when starting out or have any advice to someone looking to make content for this type of communuty? Best wishes to you!

Thank you so much for your lovely message and I’m so sorry it’s taken me a few days to reply, at the moment everything‘s so hectic as we plan for a really rough move but afterwards I’m going to be able to make soooo much for content so it will be worth it!

I really get where you’re coming from, and yes, I’ve definitely been there. It‘s a complicated answer and please feel free to drop by my asks again if you would like to talk about this more and I’m happy to talk more privately if it’ll help, but I’m going to post this openly since I hope it might help someone else.

I think what it comes down to is being ready, and that’s something you can’t rush, as frustrating as it is. Before I started making content as gurgle goddess I’d tried twice before, the first time I posted content on yahoo groups (yeah, that was a looooong time ago) then I posted belly noises without video on yt back in late 2006, and for a while both times it was fine and I was enjoying it and then one day I would freak out and drown in shame, and then I’d delete everything and pretend the whole thing never happened.

the problem was that I was just so ashamed of my fetish. I was ashamed of something I wish I had accepted all along because when I just came out and told people no one actually batted an eyelid. No one cared! No one mocked me or deserted me and a couple of people told me they thought it was cute or sweet! it was soooo not the disgusted reaction I had expected. And that’s not to say there aren’t assholes out there who will attack us in this community for no good reason and call us disgusting etc but I’d bet a lot of them are covering for their own discomfort at finding something they’re into and are trying to fight or ignore it, and as for the rest they’re the same kind of assholes that attack *anyone* for something they like, a fandom, a video game, a tv show, a band... basically it’s about them having a need to attack people for enjoying something rather than the thing they’re attacking.

Here’s a bit more about why I started making my own content as gurgle goddess, I’ll post it under the cut since it’s quite long. tw for mentions of suicide

not long before I started making my own content I had come out about my fetish. I’d kept it quiet for 32 years. I was in a bad place in my life, stuck in an abusive relationship, feeling so bad about myself in general, feeling like there was no way out of endless darkness. I’m not sure how frank I’ve ever been about this in my fetish stuff but I was absolutely on the edge of taking my life, and by on the edge I mean I stood up to go and take an overdose when my homestuck notifier (I know, I knoooow) went off on my laptop and I thought ‘I’ll just read this first’. There’s a lot more to that story but the important part is that I jumped on tumblr afterwards to see what others were saying about the update and I started reading and reblogging a whole bunch of posts, and somewhere in that mess of a night I thought to myself if something as small as an update on a webcomic can still make me feel excited then there’s got to be something worth holding on for, so I did. And a big part of that was to throw myself to the mercy of tumblr, which I’d just started using regularly. I forced myself out of my comfort zone, to open up and talk to people, I made friends, and four months to the day I decided to live I met Lucy. And the rest, as they say, is history 🥰

but between those days, one day in January 2013, i‘d received some anon asks from someone who said they had an embarrassing kink and wanted advice to dealing with it but wouldn’t say what it was, even though they were on anon. I told them I‘d share mine if they shared theirs. I don’t think they ever did but people started sending me guesses and they were all waaaaay off the mark! So I gave a couple of clues and after about an hour of various people guessing it someone actually did, and I’d said at one point I would ‘fess up if anyone guessed it so I stayed true to my word and did just that.

I was literally shaking. In my head it had become such a massive deal. After hiding it for so long and feeling so much shame I was imagining everyone unfollowing me and mocking me forever. In fact, two of my followers confided they had similar fetishes and others confessed their own. Two of them even hooked up through having the same kink that night! It was kind of crazy. And the next morning I just kind of felt... wow. I really did that, huh??

I’d been doing erotic cosplay for a couple of months as a way to try to accept my body which I hated and when my frustration at there being a lack of the kind of content I really wanted to see out there it felt like the natural step to make it myself. But this time I made the decision that if I was going to do it I was going to do it full-face and all. I hoped it might help others who had kept their fetish to themselves to stop feeling ashamed too.

I think for me I had reached a point where everything in my life was so dark and so low all the time that when I began to pull myself out of it and find some happiness I didn’t want to have to hide away any more or pretend to be someone I wasn‘t. For the same reason I began to look at my gender issues and work out who I really was, buried beneath three decades of what other people told me I was.

keep trying. Keep starting, even if you feel the need to stop again. Keep creating, keep enjoying it, it’s a fundamental part of you and I promise you it gets better. many of us in the community have freaked out and deleted everything, most of us more than once. But it’s worth it to keep trying, because one day you’ll be ready. You’ll be in the right place. maybe that day’s today. Maybe tomorrow. But it will come.

I promise it’s worth it. Good luck 😊💙

#Asks #croc-o-gator #Thank you so much for this ask #I’m sorry my response is so wordy! #I’m very passionate about this