#you know when you drift from a friend

[ministarfruit]

sometimes I think I was born in someone else's body

#vtuber #holostars #holotempus #regis altare #magni dezmond #no I'm not okay about magni 1.5 #what could have possibly given that away #IT'S ABOUT. everything you remember being not quite right anymore #it's a little hopeful and it's a little tragic #yes you keep dying and coming back #but you're never the same as when you left. #it's about playing a role you don't remember being given #yes you were always the great magni dezmond... weren't you? #OUGHH and you haven't changed. but YOU HAVE. #you know when you drift from a friend #and come back and they're just a little bit different from what you remember #it's like that. but over and over. and you don't know he ever left. #it's about how your guild still loves you even if they didn't know they lost you a long time ago.

[creatrixcymraes]

Read a very long scaremongering post about internet culture and the loss of community and it ended with "do you even know the names of your neighbours?" ...as if that was a big gotcha?

Like yeah I do, on one side is Stuart and Rena who are expecting their second grandchild very soon, and on the other side is Mark and his new missus Tracey and his son Ben (who is moving out soon). We send each other Christmas cards and compliment each other's Christmas and Halloween decorations. We bring each other's bins in.

If you want community with your neighbours you just have to accept that it's going to be a little awkward at first and push through the discomfort to make the barest of efforts.

I was definitely glad we already knew each other on the day I woke up at 7am to realise our gas hob had been leaking overnight and the house was full of gas. Mark next door saw the fire engine pull up, came out to see what was going on, and brought us into his house for a cuppa while we waited for the all clear.

Idk I'm just sick of people acting all doom and gloom about things that they absolutely have the ability to change 🤷🏻‍♀️

#didn't add this to the original post because i don't wanna shit on that person #and i know wales is a friendlier place than some other locales #but my dude if you wanna be friends with your neighbours #you gotta befriend your neighbours!! #take them some banana bread! pop a note in the letterbox when you move in with your name and number in case they have a noise complaint or #want to borrow a stepladder #you WILL drift apart from your childhood and teen friends as an adult cos everyones busy but your community is right around you

[purplelea]

I see people getting enthusiastic about the player polycule but will they still be there when I'll start talking about JoshBeat, BeatShiki and Joshiki? not so sure. a shame since those three ships are extremely interesting as well

#you might tell me. but Léa they don't interact a lot! in fact Shiki and Joshua never interacted at all! how can we be there for that? #MY FRIENDS. i don't care <3 #the important part is the POTENTIAL of the dynamic!! what you can create!! #JoshBeat? the funny potential is too powerful here. it could be literally anything. #Beat is just too easy to mess with and Joshua certainly won't hesitate #but tbh i'm also a big fan of the idea of two characters who don't like to show weakness #(Beat because he believes he has to be strong to protect Rhyme) #(And joshua because... it's Joshua. he likes being in control of everything and showing weakness is not being in control #it requires trust. trust in the one you're with that they won't use that weakness against you. trust that they'll help you. #that they won't push you further down.) #and i dunno. the idea of these two trusting eachother enough to be vulnerable with eachother #it's so soft and cute. i love it #BeatShiki? can we talk about beatshiki for a sec. they're so sweet. remember how they immediately became friends when they met? #Beat hating Neku's guts but still accepting to help them because it was for Shiki? #the wait? the wait during 3 years as they were the closest ones from Neku #drifting apart to the point that Beat doesn't recognise Mr Mew anymore? what happened? #the idea of being different but wanting the same thing. aiming for the same goal. sharing something despite these differences #being brought together by that similarity despite everything else and sticking together because they're the only one who get you #they're the only one who knows what it's like to lose someone like Neku. to not know where he is. to wait or look for him everyday #joshiki? did you guys forget how Shiki was the one to ever break Neku's shell of self-isolation against the world? #and how much this characteristic of Neku is paralleled with Joshua? #don't you think it would be interesting to have her meet him? see how much she could change him? #also it would be funny af to have Shiki (extremely easily flustered person) and Joshua (big flirt) interact. you cannot disagree. #it would be hilarious. anyway i'm very normal about these three ships as you can see #léa rambles #twewy #hachicule #beatshiki #joshiki #joshbeat

[itstimeforstarwars]

Taking a break from the old mutual's whumptober novella because my old friend is sososo good at whump and emotion and if the boy gets hurt I WILL cry about it.

#chit chat #yes the story is tagged with torture #yes there has already been discussion about the *things* in the basement #but maybe if i believe hard enough there will be no torture and he will be saved before anything worse happens #lol #this is the fourth time I've tried to read this fic and this is the first time I've made it past chapter 2 #i remember the whumptober fic from back when i was still in that fandom...i don't remember much of the actual words #only that it was deeply fucking unnerving and i could not be normal for the rest of the month lol #this mutual is what i aspire to when i write whumptober fics and maybe one day i can do something that cool #how do i put all of my love into coherent comments im not sure i can but i am doing my best regardless #hello friend that i have barely spoken to in two years due to life drift. do you know you're fucking awesome #idek if you even know me now bc i have a new account but i love you

[boltgunkiller-archive]

saw brittana s2 era being related to are we still friends by tyler the creator

#juno speaks #oh my goddd… #“are we still friends? can we be friends?” #when you apply the locker scene where santana says britt staring at her is causing her to forget her locker combo… ohh #because britt literally says “did i do something wrong are you mad at me. i miss being close” (not a direct quote but that’s essentially #what she said) and like. my god. because during the s2 era they heavily drifted due to santana’s confession. it wasn’t the confession itself #that drove them apart #more so santana’s own decision to distance herself due to her fear of rejection and #since she got rejected #her subsequent bitter behavior to deflect from what happened and the embarrassment and shame she felt not Only bc she admitted to liking #girls. Liking BRITTANY. but also bc she didn’t even get what she wanted in the end and now people may know and now BRITT knows so she can’t #just go back to being normal and she’s stressed and hurt and upset and she just doesn’t wanna talk to anyone #she just wants to be straight and normal and she wants things to be normal but she can’t handle the idea of facing brittany at all so she #just drifts away from her so brittany desperately tries to fix things and become santana’s best friend again #they’re a two shot they’re best friends they need each other they went from inseparable to not even speaking outside of maybe glee club #it’s got an effect on the both of them and brittany wants to fix whatever happened and go back to being close but santana won’t even tell #her what’s wrong so she has to figure it out for herself (“can we be friends?”) #the song essentially repeats those two lines a lot but they can be applied to more than just that locker scene too #you could apply them to santana denying dancing w brittany/wearing the lebanese shirt because she’s denying brittany’s attempt to not only #fix their relationship but also help santana accept herself. she can’t accept that and all brittany wants is for them to be friends but #in that moment it seems as if santana won’t even accept that they ARE friends #and then in 2x19 she doesn’t accept that well now that artie isn’t in the picture they COULD be more than that (“don’t say goodbye” lowkey) #like santana’s just so closed off it seems like they’re not friends and they can’t even be that and they could never be more either #auuvuh… does this even make sense… losing my mind #gleeposting

[fagofgod]

hello. took a pause from rereading enneagram books to throw up blood abt her again...

#lesbian situationship but entirely one sided and she doesnt even rmb i exist anymore probably #i throw up blood every time i see her schl. which is basically everyday since our schls are like. one building away from each other #TRIED to reconnect and text her but its so abundantly clear she moved on and i have not crossed her mind #its FINE i GET IT people drift apart this is what happens when your friendship was just u trying to be close to her all the time while not #knowing HOW to maintain friendship. especially after you guys spilt off into different classes bc shes incredibly smart and u. rnt. and its #no longer possible to follow her for lunch. take the bus home with her. etc. and you never even SEE each other in schl bc different schdls #and you guys have never really texted bc. youre incredibly bad at texting and she didn't text either. so. #I GET IT. its NORMAL that the friendship has to fade out. #i should just MOVE ON. #im going to kick my sofa out my house window #(its been two years since we were properly friends.) #ughhhh #ennea posting

[sleeperagentclone]

Anyway, can't stop think about Fig and Gorgug being childhood friends

#Fantasy High #Fig Faeth #Gorgug Thistlespring #Like they met in elementary school and they're like best friends but they start to drift apart a bit as they get older #Like they're still friends into middle school they just don't hangout as much #Like that's where you really start to get cliches and I know I personally got insanely insecure and introverted around that age #So Fig is hanging out with the popular preppy girls and Gorgug is struggling with feeling really unsure of himself and like he doesn't #Belong so he is DEFINITELY not friends with Fig's friends #But then Fig's horns come in and Gorgug sees that all of her other friends stop hanging out with her #And he's worried about his friend so he goes and tries to talk to her #But she's confused and hurt and angry and lashes out at him because she's lashing out at everyone #And Gorgug walks away from that thinking that Fig hates him and Fig just starts pushing everyone away #And they both spend the next year? alone at a time when they really need each other #And then they both start high school #And Fig is a little less angry at the world in general having channeled it into being a cool ass rocker chick #And she feels like absolute shit pushing Gorgug away but she can't just say that #She can't just apologize and ask to be friends again #So she starts taking barbarian classes and acting like they already are friends #And the drumsticks are her way of communicating that she's sorry and that she cares about him #Y'know? #I'm watching The Forest of the Nightmare King and it would hurt so fucking much if Baby Fig could leverage Fig lashing out at Gorgug

[unadulteratedkr]

friendship breakups are fucking rough y'all

#katherine gets personal #NOTHING QUITE LIKE GETTING HOME AND SEEING A CARD FROM SAID FRIEND RIGHT ON YOUR DESK #ONE OF THE FEW THINGS THAT KEEPS YOU GOING #AND KNOWING THAT FRIEND DECIDED YOU WEREN'T WORTH THE TIME TO TALK TO YOU WHEN YOU STARTED DRIFTING APART #cool #cool cool cool cool #UGH okay did the vague online venting #got that out of my system #now it's time to try and keep on keepin' on #ah cool and in the time it took me to write this a second friend responded to a message saying their friendship priorities lay elsewhere #good fucking lord what a mess of a day

[lightnersdream]

#WHY DOES IT ALL HAVE TO BE SO MUCH #i don't usually get like this. im usually a kind of person that just lets stuff happen around me and not care a lot in terms of like social #behavior and relationships #you meet people. sometimes they go #that's how it is #there's people that we just drifted away or they vanished and it wasn't hard feelings #and normally i get over it. i miss them alot but it doesnt hit me this hard #and the thing is i haven't even lost anyone #it's just ive been so angry and low energy and pissed off by everything all the time that ive been distancing myself #and even when im not like that.. im just tired. my brain is clouded i just don't have anything to say #i want to say something but there isnt anything #so i havent been talking to a lot of people #and im like really afraid by the time im done working over whatever this is. that people will have found more other people they #prefer to talk to more or are closer with or we just find out its been too long and we dont have anything in common anymore #because i know ive been away from my friends more and more of late of late ive barely talked to anyone at all beyond 1-2 message exchanges #sometimes not at all .this isn't abnormal #but i happen to the kind of person who crumples if i don't get some kind of interaction daily #so as much as im empty-headed and angry and bad at conversation i need to be around people constantly #at the end of the day i don't have anything going on outside of drawing and talking to friends. i have nowhere to be in real life #i cant go anywhere. i don't know anyone and i hate my family #i don't know. im scared and lonely and it feels like i can be kind of a nothing person to talk to #dib noise #some of this is problems with myself which i do work on and i work on them hard. i don't want to be like that #i'm bad at meeting people too. i don't like taking risks or new things its all so much #I SHOULD CLARIFY. i am happy for poeple i am close to when they meet new people. i love hearing about them #and meeting them. i just have a horrible fear of being replaced or forgotten

[horce-divorce]

being ill has never not been isolating, to be clear, but I truly feel it's getting worse with time. It's never been so bad as it is now. And frankly idk what to do bc in the past id like join forums and groups and stuff but that's a thing of the past too. I joined some FB groups but it's not the same and I'm not going on FB just for that. I just don't know what to do

#me #idk if i can. talk to this friend anymore #we love each other very much and are rather important to each other #but i just. fuckin. cant do this #like his whole 'i deserve an abusive prick bc my feelings don't matter' thing is bad enough #theyve been traveling together and camping and doing all this fun shit that like #if i had someone who loved me enough to travel w me i could do that shit too but i don't and he knows i havent camped all fckn summer #he keeps sending me pics/vids of the camping trips and all these places i cant fucking go #and today it was vids from a big fuckin stadium concert. yhr likes of which ill never see again due to health. #my favorite band even. #i know that in his mind hes just sharing joyful things w someone he cares about. its sharing. #but idk regardless of intention it sure feels like rubbing it in on my end. #hey remember all those beauitful places you wanted to go that no one loves you enough to take you. #hey remember when you could be near a crowd and it wasnt a potentially life threatening event. remember concerts. remember dancing. #remember having people in your life who invited you places and took you to things instead of just showing you pictures after the fact. #how am i NOT supposed to be bitter about that. #so i just #say nothing #i say less and less over time and they find less things to send to me #and things drift apart #but it just keeps happening #even w some of the oldest and most solid friendships ive had #i have literally never in my life been so isolated and alone than i am right now #not even as a child before ever making friends. cus my parents were still invested in me back then. #prsnl

[sallytwo]

before you ask “sam don’t you think bobby and krieg had a bit of a gay thing” THAT’S WRONG i think they were genuinely just two platonic male academy best friends.

#going more into it in the tags. #i think bobby was always like the Sweetest Smile nicies cadet who everyone knew and was this Perfect Role Model #whereas ben was more the jokester but cared wayyy more about the academy then bobby. #ben being from a non military family and this all being bright and new to him #whereas robert was A Bridger and really couldn’t care less about the academies ideals he was just here to fuck around #and everytime they got caught up in something bobby would put on his sweetest smile and say nooo i’m robert bridger #i would never get into trouble! and got them out every single time. #and no one really knew why the two were friends i also think in their later years they were roomates but they had a special friendship #and then when they graduated they got different assignments and naturally drifted apart #you know with friends where you’re always like ‘oh i should text them!’ but you never do #and then bobby died LOL! #and then the same thing happeend. again. wirh . 😑 #anyway. i understand ben krieg so well hes like a brother to me

[bibiana112]

I never finished watching the one brazilian 999 playthrough I found but the guy had the voices in japanese and I'm re-watching a madoka podcast and the one who was an english teacher in japan was explaining the honorifics thing and I remembered how Akane as June calls Aoi Santa-san which on one hand ha ha get it but on the other it just hit me with another layer of how much distance between themselves they had to manufacture for nobody to catch on

#multi drifting interests over here ✨ #she was explaining how from what nuance she knows chan is like a bridge between san and just calling a friend by their name #some of that nuance is off when you apply it to a different context obviously but still they. they acting like strangers again #will never not get me #Void fala aí

[clanoffelidae]

Explaining to a friend how a h*rry p*tter fanfic I started coming up with in 2015 rapidly got out of hand and nowadays has long-since evolved into an OG story that has literally nothing in common with its fanfic origins and went from magic animals to ‘alien dragon species that crashed on Earth 10,000 years ago and their history has been lost so everyone assumes they’re from Earth’ along with a few well-meaning extradimensional cosmic horrors that kind of wound up being metaphors for neurodivergency and how if you follow the trail of where certain characters started in the ancient fanfic and then developed into who they are now you get to say some of the wildest sentences possible

#honestly i made it og and gave up on it being a fic before She even outed herself as a TERF #so i didnt even detach it from fic bc of that one over there #i gave up on it being a fic bc it literally just got That Out Of Hand #like that was not fanfiction anymore not in the slightest #and after detaching it from fic i rewrote the setting so much to make it OG that you can only even see the connections to what it was #when i first detached it from fic if you fucking squint and say its close enough for government work #like this is in no way shape or form at all connected to its origins anymore #but if i explain it all out you can follow a trail of how the fic characters slowly changed and developed and became og characters #and so i get to say shit like that now bc the train of thought took 37 left turns and then tokyo drifted across some salt flats #their names are The King of Beasts and The All-Eyed One and they’re extradimensional cosmic horrors called The Untouched #bc they are Untouched By Time #who experience all their experiences at once and have no ending - like circles compared to lines #and so cant comprehend how many of their actions cause us such distress and everyone assumes they MUST know because its OBVIOUS what theyre #doing wrong so then they MUST be doing it on purpose #meanwhile The Untouched - but mostly King like 99% King - are trying so hard to get it right and make friends #but they keep messing up and everyone’s shouting at them and saying they’re doing it on purpose #but they don’t even know what they’ve done WRONG because no one will tell them and they’re just expected to know #poor King is just Baby it is trying its best (Untouched use it/its bc trying to ask them ‘what pronoun do you use for yourself’ #just gets you a very confused ‘I????’ like ‘is there another one????’) #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #writing humor #writing funny #fanfiction funny

[flops]

bestie(?) messaged me im so anxious 💃

#we havent talked in 2 months 👍 #i will mssg back in the morning but jdkakwkw #i didnt expect her to write me #its so... dont like this situation #like drifting away from your childhood friends is normal when you grow up #but they are my only friends sobs.... #and now i know tjey never tell me anything abt their life which is fine but ughfuhh idk its just a weird spot to be in #bc i have no idea why but they just stopped sharing stuff with me ... and then i got diagnosed and we speak evem less since then #which doesnt really makes me happy yknow #uuuuuuhhhhhh whatever 😭

[lights-all-askew]

I'm trying to make peace with being the only one who initiates hangouts with my friends. People have different capacities for planning stuff/maintaining friendships etc etc, I'm actively trying not to build a whole narrative that they don't actually like me or read too much into. But damn it's hard to resist when they also keep bailing on our plans the day of

#two days in a row people have cancelled last minute #for good reasons! #but like. i know they're not gonna make the effort to reschedule #and it feels vulnerable and hard for me to suggest we hangout when they never ever do #and when they say theyre not free for a whole week from when i suggest a hangout #this just. idk man this really sucks #are there any non-neurotic ways to be like hey uh do you even wanna be friends with me or are you tryna drift away and I'm being oblivious?

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #had a dream I found this really gorgeous aquamarine turtleneck with actually long enough sleeves for me and then I woke up ب_ب #do you have any idea how fucking disappointing it was to wake up and realize that I do in fact not have a nice comfy turtleneck #I'm genuinely so sad #also there was a cute bra I picked up in my dream as well and guess what. I don't have that irl either. #when summer hits I wanna go thrifting again. I don't like going out in the winter but ugh. I want summer to exist pleaseeee #I'm gonna drag my new trans friend along cause that seems like it would be really fun to look at clothes together I think. #hrrnngghhhhh I want to live my life and enjoy it please I just want to #also my therapy appointment was good but it genuinely made me so exhausted for real. like. physically tired. #which means that I've for sure still got problems rattling around in my head since anytime I get close to them my body reacts physically. #I'm still tired but I think I'll be able to get up in about twenty minutes hopefully. #I stripped the old sheets from my bed but didn't remake it but I showered so I'm clean so I just went to bed without sheets anyway #it feels kind of nice somehow. bare skin on bare mattress. feeling bad and just existing under covers. #idk why but it feels like home. like I'm a kid again. I say idk that's a lie I know why. #it's nice to just be a little miserable and convalescent and dissociate and nap and drift away into nothingness for a while. #maybe that dissociation immediately after confronting my own thoughts isn't super great though. #I have such a strong aversion to my own mind. such a repulsion from digging deeper than what I'm comfortable with. #I have this fear that I'll continue to find new things wrong with me. continue to find new explanations for why I'm so fucked up and weird. #will I have a reason for why I dump my friends after a few months. why I imagine unspeakable violence on the regular. #idk. I still struggle with the hurt deep down inside and it's so extremely photosensitive that I can't open it up without it lashing out #I'm a human being grown over a skeleton of scar tissue and alien growth. a body pulled tight over the skin of another. #what the fuck am I really? I know who I am. I still don't know what.