#you have less time to tell this story why are these shot compositions so wasteful

[shaulah]

i feel like the difference between these two reveals just tells you everything you need to know about natla

#the amount of visual storytelling in the original #and then netflix just tosses his body on the ground like b-movie horror #you have less time to tell this story why are these shot compositions so wasteful #i thought they were at least setting up for some god rays with the broken ceiling but no he's just in the dirt in the shadows #like i guess that's its own storytelling but do they even understand that??? and is it worth it just to be ~gritty~ #atla #tw death #natla

[tricktster]

Where am I? The uncanny valley, my friend.

There is a trope in horror that I particularly love, where the protagonist realizes they are Seeing Something That They Were Not Meant To See. Maybe they open the freezer in the basement that their spouse always keeps padlocked and find a collection of severed fingers, or maybe they gaze on the unspeakable tentacled geometries of an eldritch god. No matter what The Thing is, though, the bell can’t be unrung. They can’t go back to living their life the way it was before they saw The Thing, and even in the happiest of scenarios, the ones where they get out alive, their discoveries haunt them in every frozen dinner or plate of calamari. 

I am in The Villages, the largest gated over-55 community in the world, and as a non-retiree, I was Not Meant To See This Place. 

Figure 1: Honestly some of the better art here.

Here is what happened: My parents, whom I love dearly and respect to my core, announced essentially out of the blue a few years back that they would be purchasing a house in The Villages, Florida, a retirement community that essentially occupies an entire county in central Florida. This was something of a surprise, since my parents, heretofore, had always presented as rational actors. I frankly never imagined they’d live in any gated community, much less The Villages. 

I have now visited my parents in The Villages on three occasions, and each time, I have found myself somewhere mid-visit wondering if I actually know these people at all. My parents are both tremendously intelligent professionals who are highly regarded in their northeastern community, where I was born and raised. Growing up, my parents emphasized to me and my brother the importance of education and intellectual curiosity, but also hammered home that we were to be kind, generous, empathetic, environmentally conscious, and aware of the greater world. They (particularly my mom) are crunchy as hell. As kids, my mom used to take us for walks in the nature preserve and help us identify different plants, animals and mushrooms with field guides. When we went on vacations, we went to Yellowstone and hiked, or we camped in the rainforest at eco-tourism sites. My parents were early adopters of hybrid cars. They’re passionate about music and art, architecture and history. They bought a home in the tackiest place on earth.

When I think Central Florida, I think thick forests and swampland. There’s a certain romance associated with half-rotted trees covered in Spanish moss, and pools of still water only occasionally disturbed by primordial carnivores:

Figure 2: You know, this kind of thing.

The Villages, on the other hand, look like this:

Figure 3a: For fuck’s sake.

Figure 3b: Christ.

How bad is the aesthetic in The Villages? Let me put it this way: If Tim Burton decided to make a movie about gated Floridian retirement communities, and they shot it in The Villages, when I got around to watching it, I’d be like, jesus, Tim, going back to the well with this one, huh, we get it, it’s a parody of a soulless, conformist, suburbia. Oh, a “Declaration of Restrictions has been created for each individual neighborhood, which regulates design and operational aspects, such as landscaping, repairs and maintenance, placement of satellite dishes, hedges, etc. An Architectural Review Committee controls the composition and consistency of the exterior of the residential properties within The Villages.*” Fuck you, Tim, try something new, I’d say, very smugly because I am very smug.

Oh, but wait, Tim would say, what if I told you there were forty-eight golf courses within The Villages? What if I told you there were three “town centers,” and one is designed to look like it’s an old town from the American Southwest, and one’s designed to look like a coastal tourist town, and one of them is actually designed to look like the fucking Wild West, is that choice enough for you, huh? What if I told you that every place in The Villages is accessible by golf cart? What if I told you that ridiculous old men would trick out their golf carts to look like they’re sports cars?

Figure 4: WE GET IT, TIM.

In short, The Villages is a ridiculous place. It is a theme park without rides, a clear-cut swath of swampland transformed at great expense into a facsimile of a 1950s suburb where the citizens are permitted to live their lives free of  meaningful community responsibilities. It is, at its worst, a dull and soulless celebration of wastefulness and excess, centering around one of the most historically exclusionary, and least environmentally sound, “sports.” It is all camp, and all artifice. You can go to one of three town squares every night and hear one of the rotating live bands perform, generally in front of large crowds of seated people while one or two brave couples sway awkwardly on the dance floor. Sometimes, a handful of line dancers emerge for a song to do an uncomfortable, unsmiling routine that looks more like solemn ritual than joyful performance. You can do this all while housing a three dollar Long Island Iced Tea to the dome. 

Needless to say, it’s also super white here and the politics are off-the-charts awful.

Figure 5: A picture I took last night of a store selling honest-to-god oil paintings of a slimmed down Donald Trump enjoying various leisure activities with historical figures.

Oh, and let’s just address the elephant in the room: Rumor has it this place is horny as hell, with a population that’s just riddled with STDs. I can’t find anything to substantiate the popular story that this is a hotbed for swingers, it’s just a rumor everyone I talk to seems to know about. However, given that management in The Villages certainly knows about this rumor, since everyone else in the continental US does, it seems absolutely fucking bananas bonkers that they let the promotional magazine I found in my parents’ living room go out with the following headline: 

Figure 6: Are we still doing phrasing?

I just don’t get it, man. I straight up can’t figure out what my parents see in this place, much less why they’d want to own property here. It doesn’t comport with the intelligent and engaged people I know them to be? Sometimes, it just feels almost disappointing, like the way I’m sure they’d feel if I’d chosen to go to a party school for college. 

But look, kids, I’m here venting about this insane place to you guys because I’m NOT venting it to my parents, and I’m not telling my parents that this whole gated community can blow me, because this place isn’t for me. As a non-retiree with a decent amount of punk rock sentiment left in me, I Was Not Meant To See This Place, but while I’m horrified (and oh, lord, am I horrified) by a lot of The Villages, I’m choosing kindness towards my parents and leaning into it. For whatever reason, they love it here, and they want their family to love it too, so when they asked hopefully for the hundredth time if me and my brother and sister-in-law would come down to visit, we said yes. When they asked if we’d play golf with them, I swallowed my huge distaste for the Dumbest Game of All Time, and I agreed that the manicured lawns were beautiful in their own way, and the landscaping was impressive, and I spent several hours trying to hit a ball into a hole for some fucking reason.

Here’s a fun fact about The Villages: get up early enough, and you can find alligators ambling across the golf courses, locating the next water trap to spend their day in; the biggest are fifteen feet long. The American alligator has existed in and around Florida for around eight million years, but the family alligatoroidea has existed since the late Cretaceous - 70 million years ago. Alligators have seen the dinosaurs reign and die out, and gone on to survive the rise of birds, mammals, and relatively recently, humans.

When I’m in The Villages, sometime it keeps me sane to think that whenever this garbage place collapses, the gators will swim through the wreckage and hunt in the same place an oil portrait of a slimmed down Donald Trump once hung.

[exobyharu]

PCY - Ch5

Chapter 5 - All about you

(Part 1)(Part 2)(Part 3)(Part 4)...(Part 6)

Summary: PCY does not expect to see you again. Ever. Except in less than twelve hours, he’s about to, once again. This time, he admits that he deserves a punch in the face.

⏰ 9:09 AM 🌏 Hotel (S), City of (L) 🌞 It’s sunny but everyone’s too out of it to actually care 👥 YN, Park Chanyeol, Kim Junmyeon, Byun Baekhyun, EXO’s manager (mentioned)

Notes: After a decade, I am finally back! My biggest apologies for taking forever. I tried to make this one a bit longer than usual. Expect more regular updates! I’m sorry that PCY swears a bit here too.

Words: ~2,300

💙💙💙

Twenty-one missed calls and twelve text messages on his personal phone, all from Junmyeon: they were ominous tells that Chanyeol ought to postpone his scheduled return to the studio. Just when he finally saw the wisdom in what at first seemed like punishment by isolation, his plans of returning with news of a productive break were dashed the moment he woke up to his work phone vibrating to another message, this time, from EXO’s manager.

“Who is the girl?”

The question needed no further elucidation.

Just leave her alone, Chanyeol thought, and then he groaned, pressing his face against his pillow because he was never going to see you again, anyway. What’s all the fuss about?

It was nine in the morning, and four hours of sleep seemed inadequate, considering that he had spent at least an hour packing that evening, and the rest of the night, taking advantage of the unexpected surge of inspiration that had finally come after weeks of uninspired efforts.

He was certain that this song finally had all the missing elements that the writers at SM always complained about. He, himself, was amazed by how smoothly he had managed to put something together at three in the morning, too. Still, this was the song they had always wanted from him and he was five hundred percent sure about it.

It turned out that he just needed to quit being frustratedly self-absorbed and instead, see everything in the eyes of someone else. When he did, the landscape shifted and ideas flowed in. You were the one who made this possible for him. You made him realise that it was probably more sensible to derive inspiration from what was out there, rather than generating egocentric works that other people hardly related to.

A tremendously simple concept. How had he not even considered this?

There was something about how you were able to read into his skilfully-concealed ego problems and this made him even more self-aware. It was one thing to hear it from his friends, and for that, he had been careful ever since. He was confident with the control he had on his narcissistic tendencies. But hearing it from you, who had just met him, made you an unforgettably helpful clairvoyant.

“I think that’s how you can reach out to more audiences,” you told him last night, gingerly munching on a biscotti and possibly, launching an underhanded attack on his ego. “Stop writing about yourself. Write about what’s out there.”

“Like what?” he asked you, burning with so much eagerness that you probably felt the intensity of his stare. Stop writing about yourself. That was a headshot.

“Hmm… Well, let’s see…” you trailed off, swiping through his phone, and scanning the lengthy compilation of his serially rejected compositions. You may as well be a speed reader, seeing how you had managed to reach the end of it so quickly. That was another detail that he forgot to ask you about last night. He will never know then.

“I’m sure this will sound great when I listen to it later, but like I said, it seems that this whole thing is about having a good time,” you explained, stealing a quick glance at the way he kept his fidgety fingers tightly interlocked on the table. Chanyeol caught that and made sure to keep the signs of his bubbling anxiety in check.

Just listen, he had to remind himself. What are you being so nervous about?

“Look, I’m no writer, but if you really want to write a love song, the feelings that I want to get need to be more dynamic than what all of this gives me.”

Operational word: dynamic. Again, the point was that he lacked experience and hearing about it was getting old. He leaned in closer for emphasis – also to make sure that he did not raise his voice in frustration. “You want me to write about things I don’t know?”

You shrugged, showing him the same easygoing attitude as if the idea was naturally forthcoming at the very least. “You can always write about wanting to know instead. You know, how you would rather, or think it would be? After all, people tend to yearn for things they don’t have. It’s one that we all have in common, in my opinion. It’s a universal feeling that’s relatable.”

Longing, huh?

Was it a simple insight? It seemed more like your current state of mind that slipped through. He needed you to voice out more fragments from your internal monologue to confirm his suspicion, but you did not give him that. You scrunched up your nose instead. “Not everyone dreams of a fancy car and a supermodel for a girlfriend, Chanyeol.”

Your comment made him uncross his legs. “Yah! Quit judging my life already, will you?“ At the same time, his knee hit the underside of the table. You were both startled as everything on it shook. Tall people problems. He could not seem to switch off his klutzy side when it mattered most. It made you giggle to see some of his coffee splash onto the screen of his phone. “And I’m not attracted to female supermodels!”

Growing unfazed by his usually exaggerated responses, you raised a speculative brow. “Let me guess… But female supermodels are attracted to you?”

Chanyeol flashed a lopsided grin on purpose. “I do have a mostly-female fanbase, so I can’t say for sure that–”

“Again! My main point, sir,” you interrupted, with a playful roll of your eyes. “If you wanna add to your influence, write about other things.” He almost thought that you were really going to poke his nose with your finger. He guessed that it was just your snarky side showing itself. “Be proactive and do some research by listening to other people too. I’m sure you’ll find more feelings to write about.”

Hence, that night marked the beginning of a more dynamic Park Chanyeol, who would create art and music that may deviate from the typical industrial material he felt that he had pretty much exhausted already. Creation was his passion and he had you to thank for making him realise how he had boxed himself up too much because he was afraid to express his own vulnerability, which, ought to be the point in the first place.

This was why EXO’s main rapper wrote a fucking ballad. And it was a ballad that he could not even sing. But he wrote it and it did not matter to him who sang it. He would rather have someone else do it justice. All that mattered to him was that the song made it through. He wanted to reach out to people, and strangely, it mattered to him that you heard it too. He wanted you to hear your words played on the radio someday, knowing well that you were part of the creative process. You, that girl whose shitty day he tried to turn around, and whose underlying melancholic disposition he wished to uplift but cannot.

Will you ever find what you were looking for? Will your family ever understand you? Were you really unemployed? Or was it something you chose to say so he would stop asking questions already?

He will never find out because he will never see you again. That said, SM just spent wasteful money on hiring somebody to tail him while he was away. What was all the fretting about? Junmyeon was probably going supernova over nothing of substance and their manager had to be getting drunk on his trust issues again. Both of his phones were ringing simultaneously now, and he was about three rings away from answering one and tossing the other across the room.

Junmyeon or Baekhyun? Choose your own adventure, he thought, rolling to his side and sighing as he wearily brought both of his phones close to his face. Probably for the first and only time ever, he chose Baekhyun.

“PARK CHANYEOL!”

Eyes wide and mouth in a frenzied snarl – there had to be no other look on Junmyeon who was now yelling at the other end of the line. Chanyeol was not even surprised to know that it was him using Baekhyun’s phone. It was Junmyeon or Junmyeon. There was no choice in the first place. He half expected the possibility, and just like that, his day was shot. He rose from his bed and pulled out the curtains to see the rest of the city going about its business.

A kajillion other people with stories to write about, he remembered you say. Your voice resonated from somewhere in his head, effectively drowning out the endless buzzing of the phone he held at least a foot away from his ear. When Junmyeon had calmed down, Chanyeol finally started listening in.

“… and since you would not answer their calls, everyone’s expecting me to offer an explanation. They won’t stop pestering me and I would be in a much better mood if I did not have more urgent things to do. Listen, I don’t care wha–”

“I was asleep, okay?” he interrupted, dragging his voice and feeling the weight of exasperation on his tongue. “You can send all those calls to me now. Thank you for taking shit for me.”

“Yah! Don’t hang up!”

“Then how am I supposed to talk to them?!” Chanyeol barked. It was his first instinct, knowing well that the last time he got yelled at like this was when he was falsely accused of spreading their unreleased material online. Surely, how he chose to spend last night was not as much of a mortal sin as a breach of their contract. Because just now, Junmyeon sounded like it was much worse than that.

“Forget it. We’ve dealt with the reporters.”

Reporters? The rapper’s pulse ran cold as he instantly froze where he stood.

“We just need to get you out of there with your security detail. The staff is arranging–”

“Yah! Hold up!” Chanyeol heard the nervous rasp in his voice as panic slowly claimed the frustration that initially controlled him. “What do you mean? Why are there reporters involved?”

“Of course there are reporters involved!” Junmyeon howled. “When you go out on a date looking as you are, Mister Park Chanyeol, with a girl who received ten dozens of roses from you, OF COURSE people will take pictures and talk!”

Chanyeol’s fist flew out, punching the air in front of him. “The he- …How do you guys even know this?!”

“You mean how does social media know about this? It’s all over the internet, Chanyeol. Check your phone! Check GTN27! Wake the fuck up!”

“I am awake! And I am checking my phone now!” he went, nervously fumbling for the other phone that had finally stopped ringing. His fingers trembled, not even able to key in his password properly. It sent his mind reeling, not sure about how much he wanted to find out. Did they discover who you were? Were fans stalking you already? And the media? Were you even safe? The mere fact that they knew he sent you flowers meant that they knew your room number.

“Look, I’m sure it’s not what you think. YN would not–”

“We know,” Junmyeon’s tone was abruptly much kinder and Chanyeol knew that this was because there was finally someone else with him, wherever he was. There were people, in fact. He must have stepped out of a room or something. The rapper was relieved that all the yelling was finally over, at least for now. “Listen, YN YLN? We know she’s not responsible, okay?”

“You–” he choked out, eyes wide and tilting back as the realisation finally hit him. “She’s with you?!”

The immediate response that he got was the voice of Baekhyun, distinct in the background. He was asking for his phone. A second later, Chanyeol heard a whine that was cut off by the sound of a door slamming shut. There was complete silence once again.

“Yeah. We found her before those undercover reporters at the hotel lobby did. You can thank the staff later,” Junmyeon said, his stern voice echoing through what seemed like their empty dance studio.

“Is she okay?!” Chanyeol exclaimed, his eyebrow twitching as he attempted to hold back his emotions – whatever it was that he was feeling. Anger? Worry? Extreme impatience? “Let me talk to her!”

“She’s with the staff.” Junmyeon was dismissive and it was clear that the guy was not going to let him talk to you. “People on the internet dubbed her Biscotti Girl and she hated it. That’s why she gave us her real name. She would not say anything more after that.”

Biscotti Girl? More than the ridiculous nickname, Chanyeol found himself closing his eyes and smiling in relief because it seemed that your identity was not revealed. It was all that he could ask for at the moment. The rest, he could deal with much later. This was all his fault any way.

“Don’t worry about her. I made sure she’s comfortable. Right now, we’re working on getting you here as soon as possible.”

Right. It was difficult to see sometimes, but Junmyeon was on his side. He had always been.  “Now, I’ll quit it with all this leader bullshit. As your brother, is there something you’d like to tell me?”

Other than dumb excuses? Chanyeol did not think so.

“I’ll explain everything to you when I get there, hyung,”

His voice was even, but his mind was racing decathlons for possible explanations that provided you the easiest way out of this predicament. If the entire company had his back no matter what mess he got himself into, he wanted to make sure that you at least had him. It had come to this, after all. He can only imagine how much trouble he’d caused you. So much for writing a song to make you feel better. The song was not even enough to save him this time.

Chanyeol pressed his forehead against the window and groaned.

You. Fucking. Genius.

💙💙💙 - to be continued - 

#chanyeol #chanyeol scenarios #park chanyeol #exo scenarios #exo #park chanyeol scenarios #exo fanfiction #kpop scenarios

[emperorsfoot]

In this chapter, Scorpia gets a song. It’s an IRL song, and you can listen to it here: Twiddle 

...

“Do you know any other songs?” Scorpia asked.

It wasn’t that she didn’t like Sea Hawk’s personal theme song. It was just that listening to it for days in a row was making her kinda, sorta… absolutely hate that song.

Emily warmed up her pain plasma gun and fired a warning shot off the port side of the ship, then pivoted on her immobile leg to stare down the musical pirate.

Scorpia placed a calming pincer on the bot’s dome. “I think what Emily is trying to say is that we’ve heard that one a lot, and if you don’t know any other songs, maybe we should just sail in silence for a bit.”

Looking out across the water at the wake created by Emily’s warning shot, Sea Hawk swallowed awkwardly. The refurbished Horde bot was highly opinionated and not shy about expressing herself. He looked to Scorpia, seeking a compromise. “Alright, well, do you know any sea shanties?”

Taping a pincer against her lips, Scorpia thought. “Well, I did hear one sung around Redwater Bay once…”

A Horde song.

Sea Hawk was concerned. That did not stop him from plastering a crud-eating grin on his face and suggesting, “Well, why don’t you sing for a bit.”

“Really!?” It was wrong how excited the former Horde Force Captain sounded at the suggestion. “You’ll let me sing? And you won’t get annoyed. Or tell me I need to focus. Or remind me that we’re on a mission and have a job to do. Or ask how I’m a Force Captain.” She wasn’t a Force Captain anymore. “Or anything like that?”

“I won’t.” Sea Hawk promised. He did, however, move across the deck to the helm –the complete opposite end of the ship form her- under the pretext of checking the wind and their heading. He had no idea what this Horde shanty was going to be and he liked to have an excuse ready on hand to politely ask her to stop if need be. “Let’s hear it.”

Scorpia cleared her throat and tried to remember the lyrics.

“Oh you hear a lot of stories 'bout the sailors and their sport. About how every sailor has a girl in every port. But if you added two and two, you'd figure out right quick, it's just because the girls all have a lad on every ship.”

Sea Hawk raised an eyebrow. It didn’t seem all that bad. Certainly much more tame and cute compared to what he was expecting from a song sung in the Fright Zone’s Redwater Bay. He was far less apprehensive and in better spirits when Scorpia launched into the chorus.

“And it's twiddle ee ai dee ai dee ai. “Twiddle ee ai dee ei. “It's often times a man will leave you broken with dismay. “And it's twiddle ee ai dee ai dee ai. “Twiddle ee ai dee ei. “There's other things to twiddle when the men have sailed away.”

Wait… Sea Hawk straightened at the helm, not quite sure if he was disliking this song now for entirely different reason that had nothing to do with the Horde. This song wasn’t about… what he thought it was about… was it?

“Lucky Annie was a lady who'd been pleased by many men. “They all would sail away but then they'd come right back again. “But if they never sailed her way she really didn't care. “Cause she knows you don't need a man to twiddle under there.”

Oh. Yeah. This song was totally about what Sea Hawk thought it was about. Sea Hawk plastered that crap-eating grin back on his face, hoping Scorpia would assume he was enjoying himself and he thought about Mermista and how she didn’t really seem to enjoy his company unless she needed something from him, and even then, she acted like he was a great inconvenience. She certainly never needed him to… ‘twiddle under there’, as the song said.

“So next time you're with a lady and she takes you to her bed, “Be sure to please her well, and remember what we've said. “For if you do not treat her right, then know that this is true: “Us ladies all can have our fun without involving you!”

Scorpia ran through the chorus two more times before the song ended. She looked up at the rest of the crew, to gauge her song’s reception. She hadn’t sung –anything- in years, and this little sea chanty she barely remembered the lyrics too wasn’t exactly her best work. She hoped she didn’t do too bad.

Emily let out an odd sort of digital chirping sound that might have been clapping. She certainly seemed to have liked it.

Sea Hawk just kept up that crap-eating grin. “That was… not what I was expecting from a Horde song.”

Reaching up a pincer, Scorpia scratched the back of her head awkwardly. “Well, the Fright Zone’s only been under Hordak’s control for about twenty years or so. Before that, my family was the ruling power of the territory. The Fright Zone had its own culture, and art, and music, and folktales, and all that fun stuff.”

That crud-eating grin melted away, morphing into an expression of empathy. Not unlike what they shared during their time in the Northern Reach. “The Queendom of Scorpiones, right?” Sea Hawk vaguely remembered seeing an old pre-Horde map in a rubbish heap in Salineas wherein the Fright Zone was labeled ‘Scorpiones’. “What was it like?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. I was only, like, a year old when my mother abdicated and gifted Hordak with the Black Garnet as a display of fealty.” She explained. “I don’t actually have any memories of the Fright Zone before the Horde. Just what older people tell me.”

That was so sad! Sea Hawk felt himself begin to tear-up. He wanted to sing another song to lighten the mood and maybe lift Scorpia’s spirits.

Except Scorpia didn’t really seem all that upset about it. Like she said, she had no memories of Scorpiones before it became ‘the Fright Zone’. She didn’t feel like she’d ‘lost’ anything. As far as she was concerned there was nothing to have lost. It was hard to carry nostalgia for a place or time you never saw. There was no feeling of hiraeth.

Scorpia only shrugged. Almost as if she didn’t even care that much. “Nations rise and fall all the time. I heard the Crimson Wastes used to be a lush woodsy Queendom before it was turned into the desert it is now. Dryl used to be an industrial mining dystopia built on the backs of slaves before Entrapta took over. Lonnie’s in charge of the Fright Zone now and is already rebuilding it in the image of what she thinks an efficient military state should be. Countries change hands and then just change in general. That’s the way things are.”

“But the Fright Zone used to be your family’s Queendom.” Sea Hawk reminded her. “Don’t you. I donno… wanna take it back? I mean, now that Hordak’s out of the picture. That places you back in power, right?”

Tapping her pincer on her lips again, Scorpia thought about that. Her in charge of the Fright Zone. Her responsible for all that technology and industry. All the weapons and vehicles. The cities and the land. The soldiers, and the workers, the people in general. She compared it to her own experiences as a Force Captain, commanding and managing vehicles and soldiers on a smaller scale. She remembered that one day she went almost out of her mind trying to find armor for soldiers that refused to fight so that Catra could plan an attack that never ended up happening.

Scorpia shook her head. “Nah. I’m a field commander. I work best out in the open and with small groups. I don’t think I could rule a whole territory.” She admitted. “Let Lonnie keep the Fright Zone. She already seems like she’s doing a better job than I ever could or Hordak ever did. She smart and adaptable, and I’m…” for some reason the image of Catra threatening her with a stun baton flashed through her mind “…slow. I’m slow at figuring things out. With people.”

That was a sobering comment and it made Sea Hawk pause and look inward at himself and his own relationships with people. “I’m slow at that too.” He finally concluded. “Mermista only ever wanted to spend time with me what she needed something from me. She wasn’t manipulative about it or anything. She flat out told me, in words, ‘no you’re just my ride’ and I ignored it and only heard what I wanted to hear. Until, finally, she wouldn’t even let me hang out at the palace when she had her friends over.”

“I guess, people are kind like nations.” Scorpia muttered. “People act differently depending on who they’re with, just like countries are different depending on who’s in charge. Catra was always so angry whenever we’d run into Adora. But when she was with me, or Lonnie, Kyle and the team, she was better. Calmer. More social. Less discontent. People change depending on who they’re with just like countries do.”

They lapsed into a forlorn silence. Both reflecting on how the people they loved were different around other people. Or how they themselves were different depending on who they were with.

Emily gave a sober little trill. Even she recognized that she had been different before she met Entrapta.

The people a person –or robot- meets change them. Sometimes only temporarily, sometimes only for the space of that meeting. Or, sometimes, irrevocably for the rest of their lives. It all depended on the people and the meeting.

“Catra always wanted to win.” Scorpia announced without prompting. “But she didn’t actually want to be happy.” A pensive frown. “I think, if I’m going to try liking someone again, I need to find someone who wants to be happy.”

Sea Hawk paused a bit longer, still reflecting on himself and his own failed relationship before announcing, “Mermista and I didn’t really have that much in common. I mean, she’s ruler of the seas, and I’m a sailor. It kinda just made sense for me to be in love with her. You know the old cliché about the sailor in love with a sea goddess.” He gave a self-deprecating laugh. “I guess I was more in love with the idea of Mermista than Mermista herself. If I’m gonna fall in love again, I have to look for someone I share common interests with.”

“Shame they don’t offer a ‘romance orientation’ huh?” She joked, remembering how helpful Force Captain Orientation had been when she was first promoted.

“Orientation? Heck! They should offer a full-length class!” He agreed.

They shared a subdued laugh, the mood lightening up again. Not quite as light as it was before, but certainly not as grim and sober as they were just a few short moments ago.

There was a moment’s pause to appreciate the fact that they each had someone who understood them and they could commiserate with. Maybe after this was all over they could still be friends. And when they were each ready to get back in the dating pool, they could go to one another for a second opinion on the women they chose to date so that neither one set themselves up for heartbreak again.

Sea Hawk brushed some non-existent dust off his white shirt. “Welp, we’re about to cross over into the Growling Sea.” He announced. “I’ll need to be back at the helm.”

“Uh, yeah.” Scorpia agreed. She certainly didn’t know what to expect from a place called the ‘Growling’ Sea.

…

Swift Wind landed on a grassy cliff overlooking the ocean.

Not just because he would need a rest before flying three people all the way across the sea.

They all needed a moment to get their bearings. Adora wanted to give the rest of them the rundown of what Beast Island was like and what they could expect. She had never been herself, but back during the five minutes she was a Force Captain before she defected, she did receive a memo about it. She wanted to take an opportunity to strategize with the others and come up with a plan –not that any of their plans ever seemed to work, but it just made her feel more confident to have one.

Bow was not-so-low-key freaking out that they may-or-may-not have kidnapped Entrapta’s heir from their home. Yeah, Dak chose to go with them. Wanted to go with them. And was an active participant in their escape from the castle. Not just releasing him and Adora from the dungeon, but getting the sword and their other weapons back from the occupying Horde, and fighting off Imp and the rest of the Horde that tried to stop them from leaving. So, Dak at least, did not feel like they were kidnapped. But Dak was still a child, and Bow and Adora were (also still technically children) closer to adults and he had to wonder if they might have accidentally manipulated Dak into doing what they wanted. Bow needed to take a few minutes to work his feelings out.

Dak was anxious to get the still unconscious Imp out of their tool bag and examine the little deamon to make sure he was okay and not permanently damaged. Imp had been Dak’s companion consistently for their entire life thus far. The hybrid’s earliest memories were of Imp helping Scorpia to smuggle them out of the Fright Zone. Of Imp sitting with them while Scorpia tried to teach Dak how to feed themself and use the toilet. Of Imp trying to teach them how to hunt as best as the tiny deamon could. Then, in the heat of the moment, Dak struck Imp on the head because the little deamon was trying to prevent them going with Adora and Bow to rescue mother. Dak saw the android’s eyes go staticy and short out. They hoped they didn’t kill Imp!

The hybrid unzipped their tool bag, while Adora started gathering stones from the ground and arranging them in a circle in the glass.

“Okay, this is Beast Island.” She announced, then looked up to make sure the others were paying attention.

Swift Wind was eating grass.

Bow was biting his nails, and glancing from Dak to the direction they’d just come, and looking worried.

Dak was laying the winged troll in the glass and examining him.

“Guys! Focus!” She snapped.

Swift Wind lifted his head to give her this look like, ‘If I have to carry all three of you flightless bipeds across an ocean, I’m gonna need a snack and a rest.’ Then gave a very equine snort and went back to eating grass.

Bow kinda hugged himself. “I think we’re kidnappers.” He muttered. “What if we’re bad guys? How are we gonna be able to face the other Princesses? How am I gonna face my dads? They raised me better than this. What am I gonna do!?”

Dak did not look up from Imp. But they were the only one to assure Adora, “I’m paying attention.”

Adora rolled her eyes. She was begging to realize that, to spite being the child of Lord Hordak, leader of the Evil Horde, Dak fit in with their group dynamic almost seamlessly. Clearing her throat, Adora tried to continue. “This is Beast Island. The Horde have a prison compound on the south coast. Here.” She stuck a stick in the ground to mark the location of the compound. “The main entrance and exit connects directly to the harbor. They’ll be expecting a frontal assault from there. But, aside from the tyrosours, none of the beast on Beast Island can fly, so security will be more relaxed on the roof.”

Bow paused in his freaking out over possibly being a kidnapper to freak out over something else. “Wait, did you say some of the man-eating beasts of Beast Island can fly?”

“She said just the tyrosours fly.” Dak supplied, still not looking up from Imp’s inert body. Apparently, the hybrid really was paying attention even if they didn’t look like they were.

“Right.” Nodded Adora. “Which is why we’re gonna swoop down on Swift Wind and break in through the roof.”

“Do I get a say in this?” Swift Wind cut in, looking up from the grass he was eating. “I’d at least appreciate it if you consulted me before just deciding that I’m gonna be dive-bombing Horde compounds while also dodging human-eating beasts that fly as well as I do.”

A deep and gravely groan of frustration cut upwards from Adora’s throat. “No one said the tyrosours would even be there. All I said was that they’re the only beasts on Beast Island that fly. I never said they would be anywhere near the prison. The beasts are supposed to keep to the jungle. We probably won’t even see any of the Beat Island beasts at all. Okay?”

Bow and Swift Wind exchanged a glance. They had become genre savvy enough by this point to know that, now that one of them said it out loud, not only would they encounter a Beast Island beast, they would probably encounter the Great Beast itself.

“Don’t made that face!” Adora snapped.

“We weren’t looking at you.” Swift Wind informed her.

“I know.” She snapped. “I know what you were saying to each other.”

Both Bow and Swift Wind opened their mouths to reply. But before another word could escape either of them, they were cut off by the other member of their party.

“Ah, ha!” Dak exclaimed triumphantly. The hybrid had found a seam in the skin covering Imp’s head. A line concealed behind a pointed ear, and running up to the tuft of hair on the deamon’s head. Hooking their talons in the seam, Dak managed to peel the android’s face off, revealing the circuitry and workings underneath.

Swift Wind, Adora, and Bow all forgot their conversation in the wake of such… mechanical gore?

“I’m still listening.” Dak informed them, still not looking up from Imp. “Keep going. We probably won’t see the Beast Island beasts.”

All three of them just stood there, staring, wide-eyed, gap-mouthed, at this child that looked no older than ten years peel the face and hair off of what had previously looked like a nightmare toddler.

Holding Imp’s naked robotic head in their hands, the hybrid used their hair to reach into their tool bag. Pulling out thin and delicate instruments for small detail work on sensitive pieces of tech.

If the others asked what Dak was doing, the hybrid would not be able to tell them. They didn’t have the words to describe that they were concerned they might have knocked something loose or broken some vital inner component when they hit the deamon. They could not name the parts they were trying to repair, or the tools they were using. But that didn’t mean they didn’t know what they were doing. After spending all their free time in the Locked Room after it was opened, Dak had developed an almost instinctual understanding of robotics and machines. Tech ‘spoke’ to them in a way that could not be explained to others.

Bow was the first to recover from the shock of watching –what he always thought was Hordak’s pet, or baby, or both- get its face peeled off. He knelt next to Dak, always eager to learn something that could improve his own knowledge and understanding of tech. “Can I help.”

One of the tools held in Dak’s hair pressed against something and one of the deamon’s ears slid out, revealing memory boards that looked like they hadn’t been part of the android’s original design. Like they were extra data storage added at a later date after Imp’s construction.

“Hold his head for me.” Dak passed the android to the archer. They laid down on their belly to be on an even level with the now open head and its extra memory boards.

It looked like Dak’s hit did indeed knock something loose. The connectors that kept the extra memory plugged into the rest of the processing array had come apart. Dak reached in a couple thin tendrils of hair. Literally, hair thin. They reattached the connections and slid the extra memory boards back into the place. Picked up one of those tiny and delicate tools and, with the deftness of a surgeon, soldered them into place so that –barring another trauma- they would not get knocked loose again.

The moment they were in place, Imp’s mouth opened and a recording began to play. The voice sounded like Hordak’s. Like Hordak’s, but no quite Hordak’s. Like Hordak if he were more… tired? Regretful? …Remorseful? Those were certainly emotions none of them could imagine the original Hordak feeling, never mind allowing to seem into his voice when he knew he was being recorded.

“If you’re hearing this, Zero-Zero-Three, then I’ve gone to join the All High Host.” Said the voice that was almost a clone of Hordak’s voice. “I always knew it was a dangerous game I was playing, and if you’re sitting in my cabinet seat right now, then it’s a game you’re going to have to learn to play well. You’re a slow learning, Zero-Zero-Three, but you do learn. Learn quickly, because in this game you either win –or you die. I like to think I played it very well for many years. Clearly, I did not win-“

The recording cut off abruptly when Dak slid Imp’s ear back into the place.

“Wait, I wanted to hear that.” Bow blinked at the abrupt cut off. “I didn’t think the Horde played games.”

“Training games.” Both Dak and Adora supplied in almost perfect unison.

The hybrid turned their head to look at her. Their eyes meeting and a weird kind of understanding passed between them.

Adora had been raised in the Horde. They did not play games for fun. They trained. They spared, had skirmishes, held mock battles. There was a points system, or one hit matches. They were war games. Battle games. Training games. But they were not games for fun and leisure.

Dak did not grow up in the Horde. At least, not in the same way that Adora had. There was a Horde presence in their home, in the very castle they grew up in. But the Horde was not in control of Dak’s training. Dak was trained by Imp. Trained in stealth. In moving unseen. In tracking something that was trying to evade you. In catching quarry. Hunting games. At first, they had been fun games… until the hybrid developed other interests.

Imp’s eyes flickered for half a moment and Dak rolled the skin back over his face. Pulling the back half of skin-shell back up by the tuft of nylon-fiber hair. Dak was just making sure the seam in the skin was securely resealed when the flickering of the deamon’s eyes finally solidified into his normal golden-yellow glow.

Imp gave a screech of distress at finding himself in a completely different place from where he was when falling asleep. He leapt into the air, flapping on frantic wings. Flitting from one direction to the other, trying to get his bearings on where they were.

“Calm down.” Dak pleaded with the creature.

All that succeeded in doing was turning Imp’s distress on themself. The little deamon swooped down to snarl and chitter in the hybrid’s face. Shrieking, and squawking, sounding like a pack of angry monkeys rather than the one, singular, flying goblin he was.

What was master’s heir thinking? Aligning themself with the traitor and her companions! Imp was beside himself with frustration, and he let master’s heir know it.

“Wow.” Commented Swift Wind. “You kiss Hordak’s boots with that mouth.”

Turning away from the angry deamon, Dak blinked confused eyes at the horde. “I’m Hordak.”

“Other Hordak, little foal.” The stallion clarified.

By opening his mouth, Swift Wind effectively drew the deamon’s attention to him and before he knew it, the winged horde was getting his own face-full of angry screeching goblin baby. Squawking and chittering, growling and snarling. Making very animalistic sounds that the humans –and human hybrid- of their party couldn’t understand. But Swift Wind –the actual animal of their group- understood perfectly. He snorted, shooting a jet of warm air at the flapping deamon, unimpressed. “That’s exactly the kind of thing I’d expect from the minion of a despotic colonizer!”

Imp blinked at having a creature actually understand him for once. Most organic being just assumed his attempts to communicate were noise. He recovered quickly, and launched into another chittering and squawking rant.

“Oh, yeah? How’s that working out for ya so far?” The stallion gave an odd little shrug of his wings, as if the deamon was completely inconsequential.

Tendrils of hair wrapped themselves around Imp and before he knew what was happening, the little deamon was plucked out of the air and hugged tightly against Dak’s torso. “Imp, calm down.” The child pleaded. “We’re going to rescue mother.”

The android gave another squawk of protest.

“He doesn’t want you to rescue the Princess.” Swift Wind translated for everyone. “He wants you to assume control of the Horde and finish conquering Etheria.”

“Don’t want to.” Dak shook thier head. The hybrid looked down to address the struggling deamon in their arms when they repeated. “Don’t want to.”

Imp chittered out something quickly, almost frantically.

Everyone looked back up at Swift Wind for a translation, since his animal mind with a human intelligence somehow understood the alien android’s feral-sounding ‘language’.

“He says you’ll need the army.” Explained the stallion, looking confused. “…if the emperor opens the portal from his side?”

“The portal!” Now the deamon had Adora’s full and undivided attention. “But I closed the portal.”

She closed the portal. Saved the world from being un-made. Restored things to the way they were before the portal was opened. None of the Horde from the other side got through. That should have been the end of it. It was closed. She closed it. It was over. Done with.

Except, when was anything ever that simple?

Adora looked out across the ocean. Somewhere, on an island beyond those blue waves was the woman who built that portal in the first place. If it was possible for someone to open a portal from the other side, she would know.

Now, more than before, Adora needed to rescue Entrapta.

#entrapdak #clone baby au #scorpia #sea hawk #male-female friendship #platonic #sea shanties #misbehavin' maidens #twiddle #Swift Wind #Bow #Adora #Imp #dak #entrapdak kid #fan fic #ao3 #RenkonNairu #genetic composite

[arethereanyoriginalusernames]

Let's Discuss Zoophobia and Composition

"Ummm, excuse me bitch, but wtf is composition? "

Composition is something usually overlooked in media. In a film, it refers to the shot angles used, the lighting, the colours, etc. Basically, have you ever looked at something and wondered why it was there? Or has there ever been a piece that just emitted emotion to you? Composition can best be defined as a group of ingredients needed to make a full recipe.

In visual art, composition refers to how elements such as line width and colour are used to convey whatever mood or message the artist wishes to convey.

Since I've dared to go a short period of time without critiquing Zoophobia, let's discuss an old comic's composition issues and see if we can learn anything.

------------------------------------------

1. Distracting colours are distracting and anyone can be Houdini

So you know how Zoophobia has a lot of colourful characters? You know how they clash and stand out against the background, and can be distracting. While if the character standing out from the background is the focus of the panel, that's not a bad thing. This scene is about them, we're focusing on them. The comic, however, struggles with unity. There are characters in the background constantly that distract from the scene when they're supposed to blend in. The opposite is also true in the comic. There are instances where characters who are the main focus disappear into the background or are hard to see. For instance, if we put Damian in front of a red and black background, he'd disappear like he did in the throne room during ch. 3. This issue is at its' worse in ch. 5. There, we no longer have coloured lines, so we can no longer use that to determine what is a character and what is the back drop.

2. Positive space ought to be cancelled

Negative space refers to the background of a drawing. The positive refers to anything that stands out from the background.

Another thing you'll notice with later chapters of ZP is how cluttered it is. While this problem isn't atrocious or that severe, it should still be mentioned. We are here to learn, after all. In the comic, there are points where we get this wide shot where we see a bunch of characters doing things for....no apparent reason. Is it to emphasize how big the school is? If so, why do it in random panels where the size has nothing to do with the current situation. Look at the last panel of the page above and count how much positive space can be taken out with little consequence. Do we need Bambi and Kess there? Do we need Destiny and what's her name here? No. There's no real rhyme or reason for some of this, and it ultimately clusters the panel.

3. Angles we have heard on high....

While this is less of an art thing, it should still be mentioned.

Hey kids, wanna get drunk off your ass for no reason while reading zp? Take a shot every time we get an over the shoulder shot, a wide shot, a static shot with three or more characters in a panel just looking at each other and talking, and a static shot where characters just look ahead at something and say nothing.

Vivz rarely goes on a limb when it comes to where she angles her scenes. While I'm not saying that zp should be entirely made up of crazy shots, Vivz reuses shots or at least does the same type frequently. This is a shame since angles can be used to communicate emotion. A tilted angle can give the scene an uncomfortable feel. A shot looking down at a character can make that character look weak. A wide shot can communicate how big a space is. There's a lot you can do, and yet Zoophobia ultimately plays it safe and this can easily get boring.

Seriously, I hate ch. 2, but the fight scene with Vegenza has some of the best angles you'll see in this comic

4. Let there be Light!

Speaking of stuff you could do more with, the lighting in zp can also easily disappoint. Lighting can communicate a mood through colour, intensity, and the way it's hitting objects. Ever wonder why people shine a light under their face while telling ghost stories? Light coming from the ground looks unnatural, thus it looks creepy.

Zoophobia is ultimately uncreative with lighting and fairly generic. Hell, as some actual smart people like those at @rzphhs will point out, Vivz isn't even that good at making her lighting consistent (check out their review of Friends are Family) Lighting can be used in really creative ways, and yet the comic still plays it safe.

So that's my mad rambling over. Did I miss anything? Feel free to share your thoughts. I'm hardly an expert, and these critiques are just as much of a lesson for me as other people.

I apologise for wasting your time.

- ATOUN

#zoophobia

[stimtoybox]

Image Descriptions

I’ve got two asks by anons on the same theme, so I’ll combine them into one post to save a few spoons:

Hi! I was wondering if you had a guide for writing image descriptions? Something outlining how much detailed is needed and what should and should no be included, any tips really. Thanks! 

hi! i had a couple of questions about image descriptions; do you have/have a link to a guide on how to write them properly (eg. amount of detail, how to write multiple image descriptions on one post and still be clear etc)? and if we dont have the spoons for a full description, would a simple/basic desc (eg: "a jar of blue orbeez on a wooden desk" w/ no more detail) help by giving the mods a starting point to edit from rather than writing from scratch or would it be a hindrance? 

This is actually a hard question for me to answer, because it asks me to do something I do without thinking - convert non-word information into words. In all honesty, my first response was well, just describe it which is so not helpful to anyone. For me, this is like asking someone to explain how they fall asleep - it’s an automatic process that doesn’t involve a lot of conscious decision-making.

So I let both asks lie fallow for a few days until I got past the not helpful first response and figured out what it is I actually do when I describe.

I’ll also observe that while I do need image descriptions myself (for GIFs and videos) I am not the primary target for them, so there might be needs I have forgotten or overlooked. I’m in the position of needing descriptions but still having full access to reading the text, so there’s probably a lot of issues folks who use screen readers face that I haven’t included. Please correct me if so.

First: any description is better than no description.

If you only have spoons for one line, do it and call it done, seriously. Yes, a more detailed description is preferable, but when you look at the vast amount of undescribed posts on Tumblr alone, if even a brief descriptive line makes those posts more accessible, we’re better off. We need to make Tumblr a more accessible place for everyone, so every little bit makes a difference.

(Speaking for my needs here at @stimtoybox, I can always add a description line if there’s something I think needed that the OP has left out, and I have done this in the past. That’s still less work than my having to do it myself, and I’m pretty sure the other mods will agree. Anything that means less work for us means more posts for everyone else. Right now, I have the posts to go up to posting five or six times a day easily, but we can’t format them fast enough to do so.)

I’ve tucked everything else behind a read-more cut. This is a long post and is probably best read when one has time and spoons on hand:

Second: you do not and should not describe every tiny detail in an image.

Look at an image long enough and you’ll see a chapter’s worth of detail you can describe, but nobody wants to read through or listen to a whole chapter just to know what’s in the image. To be blunt, nobody cares about the fine grain detail of the table on which your stress ball is sitting. They’re more interested in the pattern on the stress ball.

We need to describe in more detail the relevant information and in less detail the incidental information. This is all the more important for describers with limited spoons, like most of us, but it’s also important for folks who need the descriptions but don’t have the spoons to read a paragraph for one relevant sentence.

To figure out what’s description-worthy, as in what the majority of your description should focus on, you might want to ask yourself these questions:

- Who is the image for?

- What is the image about?

Take any photo on this blog as an example: this photo is for stimmers, about a given stim toy, and its purpose is to show people what this toy looks like and, often, how it might be used. That tells you immediately what your focus is. Often, it’s the central object in the image, as we have a long history of indicating importance by putting something in the centre of a composition. However, it could also be several stim toys or people; chances are high that any single image is actually about a few different things at once.

Next, we move on to details we think people are going to want to know:

- What do the subjects of the image look like?

This can be broken down into a few different categories:

- Colour: what colour or colours is the subject?

- Shape: is it rounded? Angular? Cube, rectangular, circular? How many different shapes comprise it?

- Texture: is it soft? Hard? Fuzzy? Prickling? Protruding?

- Size: how much bigger, longer or wider is the subject compared to any other items in the photograph?

(Stim toy review shots often have the toy beside a coin or credit-card-sized card for scale, so describe the difference between that item and the toy.)

- Text: is there any text in the image, particularly on labels, signs or packaging? Include this, especially if it conveys meaningful information!

- Material: plastic? Wool? Wood? Metal? How many different materials comprise it? How is it put together?

- Expression: does it look happy? Sad? Indifferent?

Less relevant for stim toys, more relevant for animals/people. I don’t just mean facial expression here, but body language as well. The difference between a dog growling and a dog lying on its side sunbaking is something people will want to know.

Next,

- Is there anything in the background that impacts the subject?

For stim toys, this often isn’t the case. You can write a short line referencing the background or, if you need to save spoons, exclude it. This is where you don’t need to go full-on detail, because it isn’t necessary to the information the image is trying to impart. A reference is good, as it goes some way to giving the reader the whole visual experience, but this shouldn’t be the focus of your description if it has nothing or little to do with the subject. Contrarily, for a landscape shot of mountains, the background is as much the subject if not the subject, so it should be described with more detail.

- Is there anything in your description irrelevant to the subject?

For example, glare, flash, an out-of-focus shot, two sentences describing the wood grain of the table on which the Tangle is sitting. If your description is already tending to the long (more than a paragraph), these are the sorts of things that are first to be cut because they don’t aid in conveying meaning. If you do include these things in your description, keep them to brief mentions: they should not be the focus.

- Is my description too long to be readable?

The general rule is this: the longer the description, the more incidental/extraneous detail you need to cut (and the more formatting it will need, see below). The more photos in one post, like a long photoset, the more you need to cut detail that isn’t absolutely relevant, since nobody is going to read or listen to ten paragraphs of description about said photoset.

This is why I dislike information posts here on Tumblr that contain upwards of say ten images: they’re difficult to describe properly without creating an essay-length description that even folks who need that description won’t bother accessing. Conversely, the amount of information needed to be cut to make the description readable means the folks who need those descriptions just aren’t getting enough information. The very format of these posts makes them impossible to make fully accessible.

(It’s different on other websites, especially for things like tutorials and essays, where you can put the description as alt text and it’s broken up by the body text itself. When you’re forced to put image descriptions as one separate section of text, as here on Tumblr, it is a problem.)

If you want your post to convey information and be accessible to the majority of people, consider the amount of images in your post. This post is an example of why a large amount of images render the post, when described, absolutely inaccessible. You’re better off to make a few smaller posts, that can be described with readable/listenable descriptions, than one massive post, even if you tuck the descriptions under a read more.

Lastly,

- What is the image trying to convey to its audience?

This is less relevant for stim toys, more relevant for photos of animals/people, comics, anything where the image is doing more than conveying factual information. When an image is telling a story, check if the factual descriptions do communicate that story. Your description should be doing, as much as possible, the job of the image, which means conveying information or telling a story.

When describing, keep asking yourself: if I couldn’t see this image, what would I want to know? A description that answers that question without becoming an essay is a good description.

Third: formatting is important.

Paragraphing: in most cases, anything more than ten lines a paragraph will result in nobody reading it. Humans have short attention spans, even more so for non-fiction/non-creative/informative writing, like web writing. Not to mention that many disabilities make processing slabs of text difficult if not impossible. If your description runs longer than ten lines, break it up somewhere. Also, if you need to break up your paragraph, that’s a good sign that your description might be long enough to go under a read more cut.

Make sure you’ve got a line space between each paragraph. Anyone who reads your description (me, for example, if you’ve described a GIF) is used to the standard online formatting of a line space between paragraphs, and just starting a new line throws off the brain’s ability to realise you’ve paragraphed. It will still look like an unreadable block of text, and I can promise you that I won’t read it (can’t read it, in fact). Which is a waste of your time, sadly, since you mean the best, but that’s how much formatting does matter.

(Tumblr mostly adds line spaces between paragraphs automatically for you if you’re typing in rich text mode; you’ll need to add the HTML for paragraphs if you’re in HTML mode. Just add <p> to the start and </p> to the end of each paragraph.)

Indicating: use some indication (usually the words “image description” and brackets) that the description is not the body text, as that signals to sighted readers that they can skip past it. I use squared brackets [] because they’re not in common use in prose/non-mathematical text. I dislike the use of rounded brackets () because they’re in common use, so my brain thinks the description is body text. I realise it a few seconds later, but if we can tell the brain immediately that the text is optional, it’s easier on the reader, especially if they have limited spoons for text processing.

This one is subtle editing; I know most people don’t think about how much text formatting guides and alerts the reader, but there’s a reason we stick to some norms in English. The brain gets very used to certain styles and punctuation conveying meaning, and folks with developmental disorders in particular might find it hard to understand meaning without these cues or have to work harder to get that meaning. Speaking from personal experience!

Numbering: in most cases for multi-image posts, you’ll need to mentally assign a number to the post (left to right, top to bottom) and describe those pictures in order. This is for folks who can see images but need the text to help with processing; if they’re not in order, it’s ridiculously confusing. Start each description with the number of that photo and break each description up into a new paragraph. Here’s an example on my sensory room post.

The exception for this is when there’s only a few images or those images aren’t very different from each other. Then, to save spoons (as I have few myself) I’ll describe the subject of the image and then how it differs in each photo, often in a single paragraph. Here’s an example on a slime post. I admit that this is a less-clear way of describing, but it saves a few spoons!

I’m sure there’s something I’ve forgotten, anons, but this has taken me quite a few spoons. If there’s something confusing or there’s a question I haven’t properly answered, ask and I’ll do my best to answer/answer properly.

Likewise, if folks who use screen readers want to add corrections or changes, please do so!

- Mod K.A.

#ask #text #not a toy #off topic #discussion post #accessibility discussion #long post #very long post #mod K.A.

[thepeakmoment]

Early Peak Returns

Lynch is easily in the pantheon of the great directors of all time. If Mullholland and Inland didn’t clinch, the new Twin Peaks does. As have been saying from the outset, this was going to be Lynch’s magnum opus and a definitive masterpiece. Though I must say, I didn’t expect Peaks to be this exactly. I read a piece just before Sunday that alluded to what Peaks might look like based on his past few films. Very abstract yet artistic — a true auteur for sure. Now a cinematic genius on par with Kubrik? The visuals alone are striking. All the shots look like his paintings come to life, especially the tree in the Lodge with flesh for brains.… I love the panning across the Lodge floor in the opening, gets the viewer disoriented from the start. I only watched P1+2 Sunday night, watched P3 Monday, and tonight I’m rewatching P1–3 before watching P4. So I’m Peaking out tonight. Might watch again before P5 on June 5.… I read Lynch didn’t want Showtime to dump all the parts at once for people to binge watch. After all that effort preplanning for years and then the long production and edit times, plus the build up of anticipation and keeping a tight lid on any leaks, Lynch didn’t want the audience to blow their load so quick binging. Lynch wants us to watch and digest for a period of time before consuming more. The series is so dense now, I would actually prefer a week in between showings. It will end in September.

On May 23, 2017, at 4:37 PM, Erik wrote:

It's hard core Lynch to say the least… I'll do a pro's con's list.

PRO's We now know what happened to Cooper after ep 23. And it's unexpected and interesting. YES. And a revelation in phylosipy, even though he had Bob in him when he exited the Lodge, We also know his doppleganger is on the loose, which is NOT BOB inhabbited. So which is which?  Muahahah.

Ben & Jerry are still together and in their character. Love Jerry's new persuit. doesn't he say most of the Hotel profits come from his pot sales? Something like that. Next time around, I am gonna watch with subtitles on. Good to see the Log Lady, but sad as well. She looks very sick. Albert looks pretty good, knowing how sick he was.

Watching Catherine so frail takes me right out of the moment. Al Strobel, too. And Carl the Giant. But that works in this story because it’s 25 years later.… There was a nice onscreen pause right after Hawk and Catherine hangup. Lynch lingers on Hawk a good 5–10 seconds, I can’t help but believe intended as a moment of silence to Catherine Coulson — somewhat in line with Judge Sternwood’s aside, taking a brief moment. I bet Lynch intended that while editing, since Catherine had died by then. Just a thought.

Watching Catherine so frail takes me right out of the moment. Al Strobel, too. And Carl the Giant. But that works in this story because it’s 25 years later.… There was a nice onscreen pause right after Hawk and Catherine hangup. Lynch lingers on Hawk a good 5–10 seconds, I can’t help but believe intended as a moment of silence to Catherine Coulson — somewhat in line with Judge Sternwood’s aside, taking a brief moment. I bet Lynch intended that while editing, since Catherine had died by then. Just a thought.

Denise Bryson in charge of the FBI  YES! LOLOLOLOLOL what else can I say? Lynch is free to Paint Nightmare images on screen again. This all surpasses anything in Fire Walk With Me. Much more like Lost Highway and his Short Films. And his revenge on Michael J Anderson (who said, "I want a million dollars, I'm irreplaceable"). the Arm has "evolved" into A Failed Art Project Tree!  LOLOL

Lynch is a painter, filmmaker, and also makes music — Twin Peaks is all of his artistic vision in one medium. This series will be talked about for quite a while, and this singular work will make grand fodder for many film scholars. I think Peaks will stand up to one of the best TV series of all time, mostly because of this recent Series 3.

We are hearing back story about Philip Jeffries (if only Bowie had lived) Helps me believe there is a story thread deep under all this that connects things together. May be hard to follow, but it's there. It's like the X-files on outdated acid. Beautifully shot and sound designed.  But we knew that was always going to be true. Not seeing a lot of Snoqualmie yet though.

Love the drone over the Falls shot… dissolved into the wavey red curtains — like a river flowing. Curtains in Blue Velvet intro, too, right?… I notice the titles have more horizontal spacing between characters, undoubtedly adapted to fit widescreen ratio.

New intruiging characteres..  I am liking most of them, though Coop killed some very pretty girls already..(Marsha Marsha Marsha!!) lol  Sorry I had to. :P   There are so many it's hard to keep track. (how many Coopers are there?)  IMDB has updated the Peaks page with all the Actors and their character names. I printed it out and have it on hand while watching now.

Good idea.… On my iPad. Check.

Findingout what some classic characters have been up to.  Bobby? Wow...that was a twist. Natural place for Hawk to be. Lucy Lucy, a career receptionist. Jury is still out on Jacoby. Expanding the story beyond the Northwest. They did so in the film a bit, and we are not stopping now. We have a LOT of ground to cover to find these new locations.  Coop has even gone into Space...or did he?  WTF?  LOL … A return to Glastonberry Grove.  We saw Hawk up there, but then the story just skips the rest. Did he see the curtins? Did he try to go in? He doesn't even mention it when we see him later (Bobby's Reveal). I could not tell if it was the same place they shot the Grove for the series. I will try to get down there and see if the area has been disturbed. But I see numerous shots in The Return that could have been shot up at Franklin Pond.

I looks to me that Hawk saw the curtains, but knowing the Black/White Lodge mythology knows not to fuck with them. I see Hawk having a significant role in bringing Cooper back, I bet he’s directly involved at some point.… Is that what Peaks is officially being names as, Twin Peaks: The Return? I’ve read that a bunch in reviews.

CON's Where the HELL is all the awesome music??? I mean, for real? you got Angelo hired and you are scoring entire scenes with Dave Brubeck's Take 5?  And the Angelo music we do hear is straight off the Original soundtrack or the Twin Peaks Archive. Very strange. That is what is missing for me the most. I want the drums shuffling under the scenes damn it!  Even the movie had this.

I was thinking the very same thing — where’s new soundtrack music and sounds? I only seem to hear a low bass rumble in varying degrees of difference and tone. And it looks like each part is going to end at the Bang Bang Club featuring a different band each night. I get the idea, kinda a good way to feature new music but hope they are atleast songs written for the series and not cherry picked from existing albums. I mean, if Lynch handpicked each performer to appear then ok, I can tolerate that. But why not a Bang Bang house band that played Badalamenti arrangements each night — original compositions of new music for The Return. There would be a slightly more elevated buzz about the series if Lynch graced us with new Badalamenti music.

Ben & Jerry appear for 3 or less minutes in part 1 and it has nothing to do with anything at all and then they are gone. (same with James and Shelly and Mrs. Palmer, even Leland had no purpose).  Where is Audrey, Norma, Big Ed & Nadine, Doc Hayward and the rest? I will wait patiently, but I am missing the RR. (NO pie or donuts references yet at all, one coffee moment so far)

…One coffee moment so far that leads to death! Or is it the act of sex that leads to death?! I don’t know… maybe one and the same. But I agree, I really wish there is more conventional story line featuring the characters of TP, because that’s what made Peaks, as well — not only the Lodge, Giant, Dwarf, BOB, et al. It was the quirky characters that we all enjoyed. Even if the storyline plays us new ones, I’d like to see a narrative that I don’t have to decipher or wait until the scholarly writings appear.

The Music Video endings. Sorry, but really? The songs and cinamatography are not even all that special. It's like listening to KCRW in the morning.lol  When Julie Cruise was on stage, it was special. The music was special, the atmosphere was special. It was an important moment in the story.  But I guess it's a good way to segway into the end credits, but also seems like a waste of story telling time. Where is Mark Frost's influence and dialogue? We may never know. But it's never gonna be all that quirky funny abusrd character dialogue. It's almost like there are TOO many characters. (Mullholand Drivesh) 

I was thinking this a lot, too, yes. Did Frost sign off on all this? Doesn't he know Lynch is very imaginative and has a penchant for tearing up scripts and shoots whatever he wants?? What’s the script for all the Lynch imagery that has only sound, no dialog?

And his scenes in the Casino? Priceless. But I hate seeing Cooper as a total idiot, unable to speak or compreihend his surroundings after he fell out of the sky.  Oh well, I know he is coming back soon.  So all of this adds up to a Solid A rating from me. VERY strong and VERY engaging. I am on board for the run. Hope we get to watch at least one episode together this summer! PS...Better get your arm checked out.  lol

Let's descend on Dom for a Sunday viewing and dinner. 

On Mon, May 22, 2017 at 7:33 PM, Dom wrote:

So I have now seen each of the 4 episodes at least twice. I am fucking living it. Here are some random thoughts....if you have not seen all 4 episodes you may want to stop reading now. `Those shots of New York City were the most beautiful I have seen taken of NYC. Fucking Epic.

In some reviews I’ve read, there’s been several mentions about the NYC shots, how impressive they are.… Dom, I knew immediately as it was playing out onscreen that you were loving the couple getting decimated! And with good reason —it was easily as terrifying as the White Walkers. 

`All the scenes in NYC are fucking brilliant. `Evil Dale is fucking awesome. Another fucking grand entrance.

I frickin’ luv the new Dale! What a fucking bad ass. Kyle plays him well, too. I totally believe him as (big bad) BOB Cooper. 

`Weird they went out of their way to say James has always been cool because its universally known James is weak sauce.

`Will every episode end in with a musical performance at the Roadhouse?

`What the fuck is Jacoby up too?

`So happy Jerry is in the weed business.

`The first scene with evil Cooper in that trailer with those weirdos was awesome. What did Ray and Darya give to the freak in the wheelchair as they walked by?

`The last 10 - 12 minutes of the 4th episode with Gordon and Albert is maybe my new favorite sequence of all Peaks. Fucking perfect. Fucking awesome acting by Lynch there too.

`The beginning of the third episode with that chick with her eyelids sewn shut was also hardcore Lynch. Love it.

`I honestly felt Bobby Briggs was going to turn to the light side and join the Bookhouse Boys based on the dream his father had about him 25 years ago. I did not expect him to be a fricking deputy though. I wonder if he is a Bookhouse boy now though?

I'm about to go watch some more. I truly hope you two are enjoying it as much as I am. Channel 33 "The Ringer" did a great break down of the return of Peaks today. Worth the listen.

Peaks TV Entertainment Weekly A Twin Peaks Podcast Twin Peaks Unwrapped Twin Peaks The Return: A Podcast

I woke up today and could barely move my right arm. No joke. Its still kind of numb. Thank god its not my left arm or I would be freaked out.

Cant wait for episode 5.

June 4

#twin peaks #david lynch #cast #twin peaks: the return #angelo badalamenti #agent cooper #mark frost #podcast

[douchebagbrainwaves]

EVERY FOUNDER SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ATTITUDE

One has to make a startup recession-proof. Is making money really that important? They won't be replaced wholesale. Once both parties realize it's a waste of time to meet founders we've funded. One day, when the National Education Association formally recommended that literature and composition be unified in the high school course. And this rule isn't just for the initial experiment. Most investors know this m. And for a given set of people working on a painting and trying to decide whether to change some part of it doesn't have to think Why bother? It's an interesting question why cities become startup hubs, but the spirit of competition.

What airborne means depends on the type of company you're starting. And it can of course build something for users other than yourself. It's much more about alliances. Perhaps more dangerously, once you take a vote. Something that a Lisp hacker might handle by pushing a symbol onto a list becomes a whole file of classes and methods. But there is no limit to the number of startups. But markets are good at solving that kind of work ends up being done by people who are mistaken, you can't simply tell the truth. The words are a mix of good and bad. The meaning of interest can vary. It's for a more practical reason: to prevent them from leaning their company against something that's going to fall over, taking them with it. The solution is to develop new alarms. Movie studios?

They were wrong about the underlying principle. A few VCs have joked about that characterization, but none have disputed it. If you could write software that recognizes their messages, there is precious little between schoolwork and the work they'll do as adults. And there are a lot of them weren't initially supposed to be your best work will it be your magnum opus on Sumerian temple architecture, or the desire to make money, or morph it into any number of different mistakes. Now if your software was slow, all you had to do was wait, and the bureaucratic obstacles all medical startups face, and the present center more like forty. If I spent a whole day. They're just a couple games. I think the problem here is that new forms of communication always do. Thanks to Jessica Livingston and Chris Steiner for reading drafts of this. And the reason you can't equal Michelangelo by going out and buying a blank canvas. American cities. Dating sites are a prime example.

You forget your dreams, ignore your family, suppress your feelings, neglect your friends, to people in Nepal, and to want to be popular, the same way that car was. You're thinking out loud. One of our axioms at Y Combinator said, Once you take several million dollars of my money, the clock is ticking. The biggest ideas seem to threaten your identity: you wonder if you'd have enough ambition to carry them through. You start by writing a stripped-down kernel how hard can it be? I could send him back to fifteenth century Florence to explain in person to Leonardo & Co. If you're the rare exception—a company that actually listens—you'll generate fanatical loyalty. What makes the nerds rich, usually, is stock options.

If you think something's supposed to hurt, you're less likely to depend on deals closing, not just to-addresses and ccs, but also e. That's why I'd use the word naughty rather than evil. The people still look healthy, and the spammers will just switch to mad-lib techniques for generating message bodies. As I looked further back, I kept finding the same pattern. Those are both good things to be. Same story in 2004. Whereas if you ask, could one open-source play? This helps to distinguish between words that occasionally do occur in legitimate email and words that almost never do. I could keep up current rates of spam filtering, I think, is the sort of software that's supposed to be working on, and why aren't you?

Here's an upper bound: Do what you love doesn't mean, do what you wanted, on your terms. Good in a sense, though, is that they understand the cost. To do good work, but on gaining control of some bottleneck. Why is the falloff so sharp? Of course, the idea you have now won't be the last you have. And yet they're probably the most efficient way to do it. And it is in other industries.

And that's exactly what happens in most American schools. You wouldn't have thought of something like that happen here? So are established companies, but not so wrong about the underlying principle. They're way more dangerous than Google because, like you, they're cornered animals. Surely at some point. At Y Combinator we sometimes mistakenly fund teams who have the attitude that they're going to give this startup thing a shot for three months, and if the other VC said no, because it suits the way they are because that is the future, it seems a good sign. He'd seem to the kids a complete alien. When the ball comes near them their instinct is to avoid situations where inexperience may make you look foolish. Most humans will also find images of 3D objects engaging, because that also seems to be to start with a promising question and get nowhere.

Thanks to Peter Norvig, Patrick Collison, and Geoff Ralston for sparking my interest in this topic.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #Google #companies #message #Combinator #problem #way #founders #Thanks #situations #literature #bottleneck #Once

[harryjackson442]

Post-production is an important process in photography because it helps you reconcile the differences between the image captured by your camera and what your eyes saw. The goal is to make the photo look authentic and natural as possible even as you tweak a few things that may have gone wrong during the shooting. However, it should be emphasized that editing will never turn a mediocre photo into a masterpiece and should therefore not be seen as a way of fixing production errors.

Another thing we need to point out is that editing can be very subjective because everyone has his own style (which evolves over time). However, irrespective of your style, there are photo editing mistakes that you need to avoid if you want your photos to look natural, realistic and professional.

We discuss some of these mistakes and how to avoid them below.

1. Cropping Poorly

There is no doubt that cropping is one of the most important post-production procedures. The crop tool gives you the power to tell a story with your photo. It, therefore, follows that you shouldn’t start cropping before you know the story you want to tell and how you want to tell it. Cropping important details can alter the story while unnecessary elements may draw attention to the wrong things.

Effective cropping starts in–camera (with your lens) while taking the shot.  Ideally, cropping should help you get rid of undesired elements and create a more polished and balanced look. Unfortunately, sometimes we crop poorly and the results can be catastrophic.

Always take your client’s interest into account.  Turns out, your client’s artistic orientation and vision may not always be in line with yours. And sometimes the client needs something specific that only hearing from them can reveal.  It is always advisable to know how the photo is going to be displayed before you set out to crop.

When it comes to portrait cropping, the position of the eye is very important.  The eyes should be the default landing point. Use “the rule of thirds” to place eyes as the center of focus and also to ensure well-balanced and interesting photos.  Remember that you don’t have to be rigid with your cropping. Experimentation is encouraged. Your subject can be far off to one side or even slightly off frame depending on the impression you want to create, but avoid placing the subject at the center as much as possible. It’s just plain boring and counter-intuitive!

Eyes not properly positioned

Eye well positioned on the top third of the frame

 2. Over-reliance on Actions and Presets

Photoshop actions (called presets in Lightroom) help us quickly achieve amazing results when editing without having to manually apply each process; and comes with many other advantages including a quicker workflow, fun and interesting editing, and ability to create consistent images with the same effect, among others. However, it is important to understand how actions work and where they are most useful.  Over-reliance on actions is not encouraged because they are not an end in themselves but an addition to the editing process. Again, for purposes of learning, try to apply processes manually or better still create your own actions.

3. Overusing textures

Textures can be very appealing and fun to work with especially if you are editing portraits and gaming images because there is a lot to work with, in most editing applications. However, moderation is key when dealing with textures and effects because you always run the danger of ending up with an image that doesn’t look authentic.

This is an example of over-used textures. There is just too much going on here.

 4. Creating fake bokehs

We all love bokehs because of the impact it creates on the photo. If and when done well, the separation between the subject and background allows your photo to pop in an awe-inspiring manner and affords the two elements perfect harmony. A bokeh is beautiful when it’s as natural as it can get. However, many photographers fail to get a good bokeh with the shot and try to create one artificially by blurring out the background. The outcome is a blurred looking photo or a plastic background that ruins the fidelity of the photo. Again, trying to create a background with a perfect fade in into your object may be a bit complicated in editing. The more you try to achieve this, the more your photo will look unnatural or over edited.  The best remedy is to get a crisp background when taking the photo.

A good bokeh! Perfect harmony between subject and background.

5. Selective Colouring

Selective colouring is the inevitable deathblow to your photo and a gross sin that you shouldn’t commit.  The fact that something looks different doesn’t mean it’s appealing. The selective colouring fad faded away when people finally got tired of it and decided it belongs to the past. If you choose to go black and white go that route and get the best out of it. If you go for colour, say bye to B&W and have fun with colour. This way, you save your photos from the awkward, out of place look. And please note that selective colouring is a very unprofessional way of drawing attention to your subject. People will notice that it came as an afterthought and you won’t like the tacky look either.

Notice how the subject looks out of place in the photos below.

6. Mishandling Curves

Knowing your curves is an important accomplishment in photo editing, but understanding how curves work requires a lot of practice and patience and that’s why many photographers misapply or shy away from them. A good understanding of curves will help you create colours, shadows and contrast without blurring colours and overlapping shadows. Sean McCormark from the Digital Photography School shares insights on how to use curves in Photoshop in this blog https://digital-photography-school.com/understand-curves-tool-photoshop/

7. Failing to create a focal point

Creating a focal point is critical because you draw attention to the subject of your photo. You don’t want to end up with a photo that has an excellent composition and expression but is lacking in focus. A strong focal point can be achieved while taking the photo by playing with background and foreground placement, creating shallow depth of field or by highlighting your object using lighting.  If you don’t get this right as you take the shot, you can use the vignetting effect tool or a radial brush to brighten the focal point in Lightroom. The local adjustment brush can also be used to increase clarity on your object which will give a similar effect.

This is a  photo with no focus. There is no particular subject for the eyes to land on.

8. Trying to be trendy

Trends come and go, but you want your images to stand the test of time. Again, some trends may appeal to some people but not all. When editing your photos, don’t get trapped into “this trendy business”. However, if you feel strongly compelled to go that route, develop two versions; the trendy one (for your pleasure) and one with a more classic touch.

9. Failing to zoom out and in

Zooming out and in after a few fixes here and there helps you keep track of changes in your image so that you know whether you’re on course or veered off from the image you wanted to achieve.  This is very important when working on eyes, or specific parts of the body. You need to zoom out to see the whole eye to get a glimpse of what’s happening. It is much easier to see the changes if you view the whole image.

10. Perfect Skin

When smoothing skin features, there is always the temptation to get a perfect skin tone. Work side by side with the original to help you know when you are getting off the mark as the skin will start looking unnatural and quite different from the original photo.

  The skin and eyes look over edited and unnatural in this photo.

11. Turning muddy colours into black and white photos

Turning muddy colours (greys, browns, and other desaturated colours) into black and white will not help you enhance detail. You will most probably end up with a funny greyish photo.

12. One fell swoop editing

If you are not racing against time, it is always advisable to take a break from the images, probably days or even a week. When you come back, you’ll realize that there are many tweaks that you want to make because of the new ideas that a break affords you. As much as possible, avoid editing your photos in one sitting.

13. Messing around with HDR effects

HDR images can be quite stunning when expertly done. However, applying HDR professionally requires time and effort and many photographers are just not fit for purpose. If you are not sure of your HDR skills, you will do your photography a lot of justice if you leave HDR alone as you sharpen your skills for later. You can learn more about  HDR in the YouTube video below.

14. Jumping onto editing program before you know it well

Sounds basic but photographers have this habit of jumping onto new editing programs even before they understand it well. Take your time to know the program well so that you are able to use all the important features properly and be in a position to fix issues that may arise without complicating the problem. Editing becomes difficult, boring and time wasting if you don’t understand your tools well. This mistake opens doors to many other mistakes and frustrations. The key is to ensure that you continue learning new features. We sometimes have this weakness of sticking with one feature once we know it well and not challenging ourselves to learn new ones. Explore, and learn continuously but don’t start using a feature before you’ve mastered it properly.

15. Sparkling eyes and bright teeth

Eyes can be very tricky to deal with. While we want sparkling eyes, excessively bright eyes will make your subject look like an alien.  If you end up with sclera (the white of the eye) that is completely white, something must be seriously wrong because the sclera is not a true white. Don’t push it too far. On the other hand, the brighter the teeth the less unnatural it will look. The secret is to find a good balance that gives the desired effect without coming off as a fake or exaggerated.

These eyes look sharp but still fairly authentic. Beyond this point the look may be exaggerated. A perfectly white sclera robs the eye of its authenticity.

16. Editing the original file

Those who have been here know what it means to discover that you have edited the original but you have no backup. How do you go back to fix mistakes when the edits are irreversible? Keeping the original means you have a chance to start a fresh should something go wrong.

17. Sharpening to correct focus

Sharpening will not correct focus for you unless you are perfect in this skill. Instead, it will mess up your photo. Chances are high that you will not get the balance right leading to artefacts, halos and other unwanted noise. The remedy is to get the right camera settings to render the correct focus as you take the photo.

18. Removing natural spots from the face and body

Things like wrinkles and birthmarks are not necessarily bad. In fact, they make the photo look more authentic. Sometimes clients request to have them removed, but as a professional, you should advise them accordingly. This can also be an area of conflict whereby the photographer deletes believing the client will like it but instead the client gets offended that the photographer removed it. For some people, birthmarks mean a lot and for the elderly wrinkles may be associated with longevity, personality and wisdom. It is better to ask but even better not to touch them. But things may be a bit different for models because they must look gorgeous in a photo, though not to the extent that the look is plastic or alien-like.

19. Not Shooting in Raw

Shooting in Raw gives you more latitude in post-production.  You get a lot of detail to work with which means you can do many edits before you start losing important detail and quality. You also get more control over your exposure. On the other hand, JPEG compression artefact can introduce mosquito noise, blockiness, and colour degradation. It may also interest you to know that most presets are created to work in the Raw format.

  20. Post production to fix shooting mistakes

It should be clear right from the onset that post production is not the magic wand for fixing shooting problems. Even pros with sophisticated editing programs will find it difficult to turn poorly taken photos into masterpieces. Taking poor photos and hoping to edit them out is one of the most serious crimes in photography that can cause you editing nightmares. Beginner photographers are guilty of this gross sin because they often don’t put in enough effort to come up with the best photo, but trust you me, even seasoned photographers are culpable here. If you have a lot of shooting mistakes to address in post, it goes without saying that you’ll mess up the operation.  Learn how to take the best photo and that way you will improve your photography skills too. Post-production will just be complimentary minor tweaks to improve the photo.

21. Failure to compare before and after situation

Frequently check before and after situation just to be sure that you are in touch with the changes happening to your image especially when you are starting to lose important detail or the image is beginning to look unnatural. A good trick is to apply too much of any adjustment and reduce gradually as you find the optimum spot just before editing starts distracting the eyes from the subject.

22. Trying to replace the background

Sometimes you get a nice photo where everything is perfect but the background is the only problem. Occasionally, you will just need light and shadows to dim the background and draw attention to your photo. In some cases, lights and shadows will not suffice and the process of background removal may become a bit technical even for pros. The best remedy for this problem is to have the ideal background in mind when shooting. Unlike during the days of film, digital photography gives us room for experimentation, trying out different settings until you get what works. Take multiple photos in different locations and choose the one with the best background.

23. Losing detail and quality

Getting enough detail in a photo usually takes a lot of effort and often involves shooting in RAW.  When you start losing detail in post-production, this should be a clear warning that you have pushed those sliders a bit too far. The biggest culprit here is exposure adjustments. If you brighten too much, you lose highlights detail, if you add too much black the shadow detail is lost. If you push the contrast too much, the subtleties disappear. While editing, keep checking your histogram and don’t clip your highlights or shadows. In Lightroom, pressing “J” will show clipped highlights in red and clipped shadows in blue.

Apart from detail, you can also lose the overall quality of your image. For instance, cranking up your exposure can add noise into the file. And reducing this noise can be detrimental to the image. Just get the right exposure in your camera. Be sure to learn how the exposure triangle works.

24. Colour Banding

When trying to bring back detail in the sky, you may end up with wobbly bands of colour instead of a perfectly balanced gradient. This is called banding. The moment it starts creeping in, know that the editing is a bit too much.  It may not be easily noticeable when editing, so remember to zoom out and view the full image to notice even the smallest glimpse of banding or change in fidelity.

Notice colour banding in the horizon. Banding is more noticeable when you view the full image.

25. When people notice the editing before the image

If the first thing people say when they see your photo is that post processing is good, then there is a problem because editing work should not be easily noticeable. This is called distraction, the edit taking focus away from the image because post production effects are more prominent than the subject.

Conclusion

The more you edit your photos the better they get, but just up to a certain level above which you will start getting negative results. When it comes to photo editing, less is actually more and the surest way of ensuring fewer edits is by taking the best possible shots.  We sometimes want to push photo editing applications to the limits to get the best out of them but results that come out of these endeavours can be very un-natural or even bizarre.  To get authentic realistic results that can stand the test of time, it’s important to avoid pushing things too much.  Moderation is key! Know your editing application well, and ensure that you get the best shot from your camera because there are some things even professional editors can’t correct once they go wrong.

  25 Photo Editing Mistakes to Avoid Post-production is an important process in photography because it helps you reconcile the differences between the image captured by your camera and what your eyes saw.

[ask-de-writer]

Today’s WIP is INSURANCE, a Grumpy Goat <tail>

This WIP is not age restricted.  Like all Grumpy <tails> it is rated YA.

INSURANCE

a Grumpy Goat <tail>

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

7813 words Presently written The story is incomplete

THIS A WORK IN PROGRESS

© 2019 by Glen Ten-Eyck

Writing begun 02/08/18

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

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Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may reblog the story.  They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions.   All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fictions are actively encouraged.

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I was down in the Ponyville Hall of Records, doing one of my most favorite things.  I was paying Mol, the somewhat elderly mare who ran the place, seventy bits in contract registration fees.  She was happily sorting my most recent contracts and doing all of those clerkly things connected to registering them and making them all into totally legal ruin, bad luck and doom for ponies in and around Ponyville, all paid for in advance by OTHER PONIES from in and around Ponyville!  My business is Non Equine magic, conducted by carefully drawn and publicly registered contracts.

Mol was looking at the pile as she shook her head.  “They certainly are keeping you busy with your Non Equine magic practice, aren't they, Grumpy, my favorite dead goat?”

The glamor spell that lets any other being see my otherwise invisible spirit body smiled as I replied, “They certainly are, Mol, my lovely.  Seven contracts yesterday alone and not a one that is a minimum fee job.  All from 500 golden bits on up.”  

Mol smiled as she filed the papers.  It always tickles her fancy that I pretend that she is both young and beautiful.  It is our game.  “I am surprised that any of Ponyville is still standing, Grumpy.  Before you started registering your Non Equine magic contracts, I had no idea that so many ponies wished each other such ill will.”

Mol sighed and leaned on the polished hardwood of the counter.  “There is something that you should know about, Grumpy.  One of the agents for Canterlot Casualty and Life got caught trying to sneak a registered policy out of the files here.  It was your old Home Owner's and Life Insurance policy. You know, the policy that they gave you so much trouble settling when your old house here in town got burned down by that anti goat mob.”

That captured my attention entire.  “Perhaps I should take a look at that policy, Mol, my beauty.  I was led to believe that it was over and done with after the court ordered settlement was paid on my house.”

Grinning like she had just performed a magical trick, Mol reached under the counter and produced a fat envelope.  “Somehow, Grumpy, I suspected that you would want to take a look.”

Whistling tunelessly, I leafed through the pages of a policy that I had last seen while being bullied by a Canterlot Casualty and Life agent.  I was younger, less experienced and recovering from serious burns along with some broken bones at the time, so I was easier to mislead than I am now.  I could easily see WHY they wanted to steal the only copy of this little time bomb.

When I took out the policy, I was new to Ponyville and had named MYSELF as the beneficiary.  At the time, I did not know anybody else well enough to just hoof over the whole 5,000 bits to, should I die.  True, though it took suing them to get it, they had paid off on my house and contents after the Celestian Church anti goat mob attacked me and set fire to my home.

It was Mol who pointed out to me the deadly part of the policy that was being stolen.  Attached to the policy was a Royal Chancery copy of my death certificate with a note of the date that the company was notified that I was formally deceased and must be paid the death benefit of 5000.00 golden bits.

Serenely she hoofed over a separate sheet with the interest and penalties calculated on it.  Mol said, “Due to the fifteen year delay so far, the wonders of compound interest, not to mention late fees, based on the total amount owing, Grumpy, they owe you just over 1,000,000 Golden Bits!”

I looked up in something like shock.  Batting the eyelashes that I don't actually have, I commented, “Mol, my darling sweet pony, I thought that I was the evil one here!  What led you to check this out for me?”

Gone dead serious and weeping just a little, she leaned heavily on the counter as she replied, “A few months ago, my brother Brownie was killed in a cart accident over on the Falmire Cutoff.  He was pulling a two wheel delivery wagon and a big brewery wagon cut too close to him.  Their front axle end took out spokes on Brownie's right wheel.  That flipped his cart and dumped him onto his side.  The brewery wagon ran over his neck with their rear wheel.  It killed him on the spot.

“Canterlot Casualty and Life tried to bully poor Vanner, his widow, into taking only half of his standard life insurance value.  They tried to tell her that Brownie had set up the accident and that his death was a suicide!  They claimed that they did not have to pay anything and were being GENEROUS in offering her HALF of the standard death benefit.

“Judge Coldheart listened to the case and ordered them to pay the full double indemnity for accidental death forthwith.  Even so, Vanner did not get her check for nearly three weeks.”

I looked up (goats like me are little guys) and asked, “Would it be too much trouble to request full copies of this policy and attachments, my lovely mare?”

Her smile returning, Mol slid the documents that I had been studying across the polished hardwood of the counter.  “I was pretty sure that you would want them, Grumpy.  These are official copies.  I paid for them myself.  If anyone can kick Canterlot Casualty and Life in the rump, it is you!”

I neatly folded everything back into its envelope, reached up to take Mol's hoof in my own glamored ones and gave her a kiss on the hoof.  “That my lovely sweet young mare is for your kindness.  Adieu, my lovely mare, until I next have business for you.  You may be assured that I will keep you informed about this little matter, too.”

I took my leave, tail flipping about with pleasure.

Nearing the offices of Canterlot Casualty and Life, I thoughtfully let the glamor spell on my invisible spirit body go.  I did cast one more small glamor to make my very solid saddlebags turn invisible as well.

I waited until some ponies were going in and joined them, thus entering the office without being noticed.  Even if nopony could see it, I smiled.  This was my idea of fun!

The Ponyville branch manager's door was shut.  I did the simplest thing possible.  I knocked.  At his call of, “Come in!” I did.  And shut the door behind me.  The dark blue unicorn with a pale purple mane and tail sitting behind the desk looked up after a few moments of determined looking but bogus paper shuffling.

Irritated that his act of being terribly busy but managing to find a little time for the client was apparently wasted, he returned to actually doing some sort of paperwork.  I let that drag on for a few moments before returning his 'shot across my bows' with a broadside of my own!

Without bothering to become visible in any way, I stated, “We need to talk.  Specifically, we need to discuss the fifteen year delayed payment of the Grumpeter Goat life insurance claim.”

He gave away that he knew exactly what I was talking about by his ghastly start and near choking before he managed to snap, “I have no idea what you are talking about!”

“Really?  Then your agent, or should I say accomplice, was lying to the nice police officer?  You know, the one who arrested him for trying to steal the original registered policy from the Hall of Records.  He said that he was just following his boss' orders.  HIS boss.  That would be YOU.”

Trying to shift the conversation to safer ground, he demanded, “At least have the courtesy to show yourself!”

That gave me an idea that was so mean and evil that I just had to do it!  I faded slowly into view, my glamor spell taking the form of a maggot and corruption leaking goat zombie!  

I love glamors.  They are such easy spells, once you get the hang of them.  And I have had YEARS of practice!

From his expression, Mister Stallheart (at least that is what his desk sign said) was not having the best of days!  Score another one for the 'evil goat'!

I reached into an apparently rotting saddlebag and produced my nice clean papers!  I laid them on the desk in front of Stallheart.  He recoiled from them as if they were deadly serpents.  From his point of view, maybe the serpents would have been preferable.

They were the copies of the policy with attached death notice, my death certificate, and the calculation of just how much they owed by trying to be cheapskates and not pay a goat.

Stallheart tried to gather them all into one of the files on his desk.  I placed a corrupted appearing but sturdy hoof on them.  “Those are MY copies.  If you need copies, I can make them for you.  Only five copper a page.  If you already have copies, then simply give mine back.”

Stallheart had to open the file to get some of my papers back out.  There, right on top, was THEIR copy of my death certificate.  There were other papers under it. Considerably more than just the policy.  More importantly it proved that the Grumpeter Goat file that he 'knew nothing about' was right there on his desk!  Even worse for him, it was the file that he had tried to sweep my copies into, meaning that he knew EXACTLY where it was.

With ill grace, he returned my papers, stating, “I thought that you were giving me those copies.”

The nice blank cover of the file turned bright red.  Truth testing spells are easy and quick to do. And VERY useful.  My grin appeared to be losing several teeth and some maggots seemed to be leaking out!  

I pointed to the red cover and and suggested, “Next time that you know that you are facing a being who knows Non Equine magic, lying is not a good idea.

“In two days, another 2,500 golden bits late penalty will be due and added to the balance owing and subject to interest.  I will not be back down from my cave in that time.  If you wish to discuss the payment or terms for payment, you will have to come to me.”

I took my papers and my leave. Corrupted appearance or not, I felt far cleaner after I left Stallheart's office.  I did not bother to remove the zombie glamor until I was well away from the offices of Canterlot Casualty and Life.  I resumed my usual town glamor as a handsome piebald black, brown and tan goat with full curl horns, just like I used to be before the little necromantic accident that killed me about fifteen years ago.

I wended my way through the “cosmopolitan downtown” of Ponyville and turned up Mane street. I figured that a nice big clover top burger with onion rings and a clotted cream milkshake would be just the ticket to clear the bad taste of dealing with Mister Stallheart.  

Caramel Treat's Sweets is a restaurant that is always good for what ails me.  Caramel Treat and her mate Fangrin are two of the finest werewolf ponies that a goat could hope to meet.  Their extremely heightened werewolf senses make them superb cooks.  Their waitress, Peanut Brittle is another treasure.  She is a true golden palomino, a rare color pattern among ponies.  She is also the reason that I don't hate all ponies, only most of them!

Peanut took in a badly burned goat with broken bones and nursed me back to health.  That was just after Caramel and Fangrin, in their wolf forms, rescued me from an anti goat mob fomented by the now defunct Celestian Church.

Such times are now thankfully behind us all.  Even more thankfully, the friendships formed back then are still strong.

Peanut saw me coming up the street and called, “Your usual, Grumpy?”

As I settled myself at an outdoor table, I replied, “Of course!  Am I so predictable as all that, Peanut?”

Flirting her tail playfully as she went in to deliver my order, she chirped, “Yes, you are!”

That settled, she began to industriously set up my tray.

Looking into the interior of the shop, usually only opened in bad or cold weather, I noticed a nanny with two kids at a table.  They appeared to be about as happy as a dying creature is when seeing vultures spiraling overhead.  Having a well developed  curiosity bump, I pointed to them and asked Peanut, “What is their story?”

Peanut explained,  “They are Graymak's family.  He was a really nice goat who helped us with our first Nightmare Night celebration and lots of them since.  He passed on about a month ago.  Canterlot Casualty and Life has been refusing to pay his insurance and his family are on really hard times.”  As she mentioned Canterlot Casualty and Life, Peanut's lovely snout wrinkled in disgust.  

She went on, “Caramel found out and she is feeding them for free.  I wish that we could do more.”

I paused in sucking on my milkshake.  Squinting my eyes in thought, I offered, “I can help. Find out what they need.  This evil old dead goat will pay it.  I will collect it back later from Canterlot Casualty and Life.”

Peanut actually gave me a hug and said, “Thanks, Grumpy.  I am sure that Nalit and the kids will appreciate your help.”

Werewolf hearing and other senses have to be experienced to be believed.  The lovely caramel tan colored pony that is Caramel Treat in her pony form came out and sat by me.  “I heard what you said, Grumpy.  Graymak and his friends were really important to me.  If you are going to take care of Nalit, this meal is on me.”

I shrugged.  “It is not a problem, Caramel.  Have them bring all of their receipts, bills and notices here.  I will pay  it all out of my funds.  I will give them a living stipend too, while this business of their life insurance is sorted out.”

Caramel nodded thoughtfully and asked, “Got any of your blank contract forms along, Grumpy? Perhaps we could, um, you know, sort of expedite the payment?”

I just had to grin at that one! A grin with fangs in it!  I do so love the flexibility of appearance that glamors allow me!  I stated, “Capital idea, Caramel!  It just so happens that I do!  I also have another claim that might get sort of folded into the contract!  Here, take a look at this.”

I fished out my old policy and and the sheet of figures on how much Canterlot Casualty and Life owed ME.

Whistling tunelessly, Caramel stared at the total due.  Then she offered, “You know, Grumpy, it could be really fun to put those scavengers in a corner where they had to pay EVERY outstanding claim HONESTLY.”  

I blinked about three times, stunned by the sheer beauty of the idea.  Recovering quickly, I fished out a blank contract and started to fill in the cover page!  I innocently pointed out, “I do have to be paid for this, you know, Caramel.  Would ten copper bits be too much?”

Caramel smiled, a wolf's tongue lolling out between fangs that normally had no place in a pony!  “I see, Grumpy!  That is the smallest sum that you can make exact change for your 10% refund, if the contract fails!  Somehow, I think that if Fangrin and I try REALLY hard, we can manage to raise the sum!”

Chuckling, she hoofed over a single silver bit, worth exactly ten copper bits.

I quickly filled in a results page that would have horrified the Canterlot Casualty and Life Board of Directors that sit in Canterlot if they had seen it.

I became aware that I was being watched by more than just Caramel.  The nanny, Nalit and her kids were watching in fascination too.  She bleated quietly, “How does something like this work?  I mean, it just looks like a simple contract to cause something that is totally out of our hooves to happen.”

I nodded cheerfully. “Completely correct, Nalit.  The fly in reality's ointment is that little thing called Non Equine Magic.  I won't go into detail about how it works or is done but the results spelled out here on the results page will appear to work out by entirely ordinary means no matter how bizarre those means wind up being.  Point is, that those 'ordinary means' will be guided by this contract to leave us with the results that we want.  Nothing flashy, just the world deciding to go OUR way, instead of THEIR way.”

Peanut interrupted to bring out my clover top burger, onion rings and seconds on my shake.  She also had the food for Nalit and brood.

Caramel looked over the results page and laughed out loud.  She also signed the contract on the spot! Chortling, she suggested, “Looks like you are going to have to go see Mol again today, Grumpy!”

That brought a most welcome spectator.  Coalsmoke's lovely voice asked, “Doing a contract here at Caramel's, Grumpy?  I thought that you only did your business up at your cave.  What is this, may I see?  It is going to be publicly registered, after all.”

I smiled with delight that was only partly due to the presence of Ponyville's most beautiful and smartest business mare.  “I would be delighted to have you look over this particular contract, Coalsmoke, my dear friend.  While you are at it, have whatever you want, on me.  Consider it a consultation fee.  I want to be sure that I have done this particular piece of business as well as I can.”

Coalsmoke turned her beautifully conformed head to Peanut and said, “You heard our favorite dead goat, Peanut.  I will have your surf and turf, with the clover steak done rare.  Put an asparagus salad on the side and I will have the honey apple cocktail, thank you, dear.”

Turning back to me she took the contract and her eye brows shot up in surprise.  “Only ten bits? You must really have it in for them!  Let's see who it is!”  

She flipped past the legal boiler plate first page and started to read the results page.  She put it down and chuckled deep in her throat.  “Don't change a thing, Grumpy!  I really want to see this one work out.  I used to use Canterlot Casualty and Life as a benefit for my workers.  When I found out how bad their payout policy was I dropped them like a rock.

“I got together with Ponyville Trust and Loan and we set up an honest insurance system for my workers.”

I picked up everything, folding and sorting the pages into three envelopes.  One, I tucked into my saddlebag for my files.  I gave the second to Caramel, who had paid for it and signed it.  

The last one I took with me as I bid my friends and company adieu.  “I must away to the registry! See you later!”

Coalsmoke held up a book, calling, “Catch you up at the cave, Grumpy!  I have the new Daring Do for our reading!”

With a spring in my step, I dashed back to the town hall and the Hall of Records.  Mol greeted me, “Goodness, Grumpy!  Your business must really be brisk today! In here TWICE?”

She took the envelope and opened it.  As fast as she saw the target of this contract, she beat me to paying the registry fee!  As she hoofed over the few bits, she commented, “This couldn't happen to a better company!  I can't wait to tell Vanner about this!”

Back up at my cave, I heard familiar voices.  Coalsmoke was speaking to somepony with a voice that was both soft and dream like.  I had to wonder what could have brought Princess Luna to my humble abode.  More to the point, I had wonder what happened to her usual squad of guards.

I kept the glamor of my handsome piebald black, brown, and tan goat self as I stepped up onto the ledge in front of my cave.  Princess Luna, Coalsmoke and the Litch King, Lord of the Dead, known to his few friends as Clarence were quietly chatting.  Luna's Royal Guards were sitting off to one end of the ledge and not even trying to be the officious, class conscious pack of clowns that they usually appear to be.

Luna cheerfully called out, “Grumpy!  I am playing hooky!  Lord Rockbottom's lawn party will have to do without me.  Thank whatever goodness there is for that. In over three thousand years, I have never attended any event more boring than one of Lord Rockbottom's lawn parties.”

I pretended to be stunned by the thought.  “You came here instead of going to one of Rockbottom's wonderful parties?  How astounding.”  It was an act.  A bad one.  I have been to ONE of Lord Rockbottom's lawn parties.  It was TWO too many.

The Guard Major, in charge of the squad and a veteran of Luna's service, spoke up with mild good humor, “Sir, we have all had his lawn parties inflicted on us.” He raised a hoof to point to the Princess.  “She threatened to make us go to his next one if we interfere with her visit to you.”

I grinned as I replied, “That is inhumane!  What did you do to bring out the Nightmare in Princess Luna?”

Clarence, sun glinting off the polished bones of his skeleton, observed cheerfully, “I believe that I know what I should do for Lord Rockbottom's eternity!  I could inflict an unending lawn party of his own devising on him!”

Princess Luna recoiled and stated, “Clarence!  That would be utterly inhumane!  And totally appropriate!”  She smiled, saber toothed fangs showing in her otherwise perfect face.  “May I suggest a guest list, Clarence?”

He tapped his bare front teeth with a bony hoof and pretended to consider the possibility.  “That depends, Luna, my dear.  Are you sure that you hate all of them that much?”

Coalsmoke, ever the truly practical one, pointed out, “While you are considering that, I have Daring Do and the Adventure of the Singing Sands.  We can listen to Grumpy's reading and be serene in the knowledge that WE are NOT at Lord Rockbottom's!”

We were just settling ourselves for reading when Coalsmoke noticed a pony, tiny in the distance, struggling up the trail to my cave.  Only grumping a little, the whole entourage trooped into my cave and went on into the back room, closing its iron sheet covered door behind them.  

They knew that even though my contracts are publicly registered, many of my clients are quite shy about being seen dealing with the evil dead goat.  Got to admit, they mostly do have good reasons for the secrecy.  I mean, nearly all of them are trying to cause some sort of meanness or evil for other ponies and don't want to be known as the one responsible.  If they stay secret, they can (and do) blame the “evil goat up on the mountain.”

That bothers me not at all. Some of my best friends are ponies, in spite of which, I have an overall detestation of ponies in general.  Helping them along the path to an unhappy meeting with Clarence (Lord of the Dead, remember?) and getting well paid for it does not bother me at all. If ponies had been a bit nicer years ago, I would not be dead now.  I would also be a lot poorer.

I first raised the Lord of the Dead to gain revenge on ponykind after the afore mentioned mob caused me to hate ponies in general.  He and I did make a bargain in regards to my revenge.  There were two flaws in what I did.  One was a printer's error in the gramarye that I used.  The second was that the Lord of the Dead turned out to have a sense of humor.

After I summoned him to make a zombie to rampage among those that wronged me, he advised me not to, pointing out the problems with the idea.  He suggested that I have him create an invisible spirit body, controlled by my will alone.  On the face of it, it was good advice, so I took it.

The printer's mistake with the pentacles let him take MY body and leave my mind in charge of the invisible spirit body!  He left me my skull, neatly aged looking, to wear like a hat for letting others know where I am, unless I take it off, that is.

It has worked out really well, actually.  Clarence and I are now friends.  He comes and goes freely in my cave.

Back to the unpleasant present. Stepping up onto the ledge in front of my cave was none other than Mister Stallheart, of Canterlot Casualty and Life.

I smiled at him as I inquired, “Mister Stallheart!  Do you have money for me or perhaps a payment plan?  I am willing to accept either one.  A payment plan with a reasonable interest rate would be most welcome!”

He stared down his prominent nose at the apparently ordinary goat speaking to him and replied distastefully, “I have a simple settlement agreement for your signature, Mister Goat.”

I nodded.  I am well used to ponies who look down on me because I am a goat.  Their disdain is returned with a side helping of disgust at their meanness.  Still, gold is gold.

I gestured at my steel fronted cave entrance with its siege rated door.  “Do come in, Mister Stallheart.  I do all of my business inside, away from prying eyes.”

Without waiting to see if he was following, I trotted in and took my ease in the only easy chair in the front room of my cave.  I reached over and lifted my skull with its everburning candle between the horns and glamors of glowing snake-like eyes and big fangs from its stand.  I settled it onto my spirit body, replacing my apparent head.

The smooth talking dark blue unicorn with the pale purple mane and tail sat on my carpet and opened his briefcase.  He smiled, but not with his eyes.  “Now, Mister Goat, I just need you to sign this simple settlement paper here.”

He proffered a pen and sheet that was folded back so that only the signature line showed.

Since I already had a glamor spell on my invisible spirit body to appear as the handsome piebald black, tan and brown goat that I used to be, except for my skull, I reached out a hoof and snagged the whole sheet off the top of his case and unfolded it.

Rattling the largely blank page in front of his eyes, I pointed out, “This is NOT a settlement of my claim!  It is a quitclaim on my policy and, in violation of Crowns Law, there is blank space above the signature line.

“That practice was made illegal after sharpers like you conned ponies and others into signing documents and then later filling in ruinous terms that were not there at signing.”

He snapped, “A quitclaim IS a settlement!  We will let you off from fraud charges if and only if you sign the quitclaim!

“You cannot sit there in front of me, living and breathing, and pretend to be dead!”

I snickered.  “Totally wrong, Sir!  I am absolutely deceased!  I only breathe when I talk.  That is only for appearances and can be dispensed with.  The fact of my death has been proved in both the local and Kingdom courts.

“As you are well aware, my death certificate is formally registered in the Ponyville Hall of Records.  It is irregular in one regard.  The Signing Physician, who also put her seal to the document is none other than Princess Luna herself.”

He snapped, “Canterlot Casualty and Life rejects that document as fraudulent!”

I raised my eyebrows at that. “Really?  Well, as this quitclaim demonstrates, you are experts where fraud is concerned!  The Royal Seals cannot be counterfeited. Besides my death certificate there are five rulings by both the local and Kingdom courts.”

“Name one case to prove that insanity!”

I promptly returned, “The case was decided under the Royal Wing, from which there is no possible appeal.  It is Ponyville Medical Society vs. Grupeter Goat.  

“The basis of the case was the Ponyville Medical Society refusing to pay a slander and libel settlement to me.  Their grounds were that since I was dead, by my own admission, that any payment had to be made to the executor of my estate, not to me.

“The joint ruling of the Princesses was that the Edict of Equality applied to me.  As a still conscious and reasoning being, I remain not only a citizen but am the lawful executor and sole owner of my estate.

“Both Princesses also agreed that the Edict of Equality and Equestrian Citizenship do apply to all deceased individuals whether they be ghosts, vampires, zombies or any other undead being if they retain consciousness and the ability to reason.

“The issuance of my Royally sealed Death Certificate was a part of that case.  It so states on it in the actual horn writing of Princess Luna herself.  That is why I picked that particular case.  You have a copy of the certificate and connected case, I saw them when you tried to swipe my copy of the insurance policy.”

Just at that moment, we heard the creaking of hinges.  The door to the back room of my cave opened. Princess Luna and her guards entered, quietly filling the front room and securing the only door to the outside and escape!

Mildly, she said, “Your pardon for the interruption, Grumpy.  The reason that I am here and this business of yours that I could not help but overhear are connected. Lord Rockbottom, whose lawn party I am dodging, is the CEO of Canterlot Casualty and Life.

“Do you know of any other problem payouts that they have had?”

I nodded.  “Two others, your Highness.  The pony Brownie, a brother of Mol, at the Ponyville Hall of Records, was killed in a carting accident.  Payment was offered at one half of face value with the claim that the accident was a suicide.  They had to sue.  When they did, they got an order for double indemnity because of the accident.  Their payment was slow in coming after the court order.

“The other is Graymak the goat, a friend of Caramel Treat.  His widow Nalit and their kids are on hard times due to the slow payment of the policy death benefit.  I have paid their bills and given them a living stipend out of my own pocket.”

That was too much for Stallheart!  “You what!?  We were holding back on him to be sure that he wasn't murdered!  He died under unexplained circumstances!”

I nodded and said sarcastically, “RIIIGHT.  He spent his last week in Ponyville General Horsepital with a terminal cancer.  His death was attended by his physician, his family and Reverend Smallflower.  Which one of them is the murder suspect?  Why did you fail in your legal duty to notify the Ponyville authorities of your suspicions?”

Princess Luna was watching and listening with interest.  

Stallheart snapped, “You screwed up the foreclosure on the Graymak house and land!  That is a valuable property that no mere goats have any right to!”

I pounced on that!  “Really?   Bleatin' Hallow was the worst land in the Ponyville area.  Ponies ignored it for nearly seventy years.  It was only after the goats moved in and put a lot of work into the land that it became worth anything.  Now it is too good for mere goats?  What kind of scavenger are you?”

He growled back, “This ain't got nothing to do with why I am here.  Just sign off the quitclaim or get sued for claiming to be dead.  Those are your only choices!”

I just smiled serenely as I hoofed over the quitclaim paper to Princess Luna.  “Here, my dear Princess, is what he wants me to sign.  Could you perhaps educate him on just how deep the cesspool is that he just jumped into?”

She took one look at the sheet and demonstrated that she had learned a great deal in her three thousand years.  “Major Lightning, please formally detain Mister Stallheart for multiple violations of Crowns Law.

“This altercation has just become a case under the Royal Wing.  Not only have I personally heard violations of the Edict of Equality, I have been presented with a PRINTED contract form from Canterlot Casualty and Life that is in blatant violation of Equestrian Business Law.  I have heard what appears to be a criminal conspiracy to deprive the beneficiaries of policy holders of both their proper disbursements and to further victimize the beneficiaries through improper seizure of homes and land.”

Stallheart struggled against being put into restraints but to no avail.  There were more guards than he could resist and they were stronger, too. The Royal Guard might be made up of petty nobles, but they are first and foremost, a well trained military unit.

That he was not thinking too clearly became evident in mere seconds!  “If this is going to be a trial under the Royal Wing, I demand that Celestia hear the case too!”

Luna grinned in delight!  Pulling out a Magic Net mirror, she tapped a few well practiced codes.  As soon as Celestia showed in the mirror, Luna began, “Tia!  Guess what?  I have got you out of Lord Rockbottom's lawn party!  We have a demand for both of us to hear a case under the Royal Wing.  

“Be sure to let Lord Rockbottom know that the case dragging you away from his excellent entertainment is due to his Ponyville Branch Manager, Mister Stallheart.  It appears that he may have involved the company in some minor transgressions.

“One more thing, be sure to stop by the kitchens and pick up the ingredients for Grumpy's clovertop scramble.  Enough for about fifteen.  

“See you soon, Sis.”

Stallheart was aghast.  “You just blackened my name with the CEO of Canterlot Casualty and Life!  How could you?”

Mildly, Luna replied, “So far, you have violated the Edict of Equality in my hearing.  You have stated that those who developed Bleatin' Hallow from a worthless waste to some of the richest farmland in the area have no right to it.

“In addition, you have stated that a Death Certificate that I personally filled out and sealed was fraudulent.  I assure you that it is not. Grumpeter Goat's death was the accidental result of a misprint in the book that he was using as a guide to his Working.”

Stallheart slumped.  “OK, we will pay him the million golden bits that he is after.  No need for all the rest of this.  The big thing is gonna be taken care of.”

At the word “ACCIDENTAL” Coalsmoke's ears pricked up!

Coalsmoke suggested, “Perhaps Her Highness would like to look over your old policy, Grumpy.”

Shrugging, I hoofed it over to Princess Luna.  As she flipped through the pages, she frowned.  She set the policy down and pulled out a big circular sliding rule.  Consulting the policy, she began flipping the sliding rings and the hairline about with the ease of long practice.  

Putting down the policy and the calculator, she said,  “Canterlot Casualty and Life does not owe you any million golden bits, Grumpy.”

Stallheart curled his lip and sneered, “Been trying to tell him that since I got here!   Thanks for confirming it, Princess.”

She looked at him as if he was a lump of sludge that learned to speak.  “He was trying to cheat you even here at the last, Grumpy.  They owe you about FIVE and a quarter million golden bits.  Your death was ruled an ACCIDENT.  Double indemnity applies.  Just amazing how it grows when the starting sum is TEN thousand instead of five thousand.”

I was simply stunned.  

I turned on Stallheart and replied to his earlier attempt to weasel out of this, “Right.  We can just forget about all those other policies that that you are cheating on, even to the point of getting the beneficiaries evicted from their homes before you pay them a dime. Not likely.”

In the uncomfortable silence that followed, Stallheart looked like he might want to hide under the carpet or somewhere else inconspicuous.

It was just then that there came a gentle knock at my very solid steel front door.  Luna opened it eagerly.  She hugged her sister, exclaiming, “Celestia!  It is so good to see you!  This will be a fun one!  Before we can reach a complete verdict, we are going to have to do total audits of both Canterlot Casualty and Life AND Equestrian National Bank!  We are going to be free of the Court stuffed shirts for at least a week!”

Celestia snickered, “Thanks for the rescue, Luna.  There is only one thing wrong with what you just said. If we are going to be doing a Royal Wing audit of BOTH Canterlot Casualty and Life and Equestrian National Bank, how much do you want to bet that we are going to be horn deep in nobles trying to find ways to stop it?  An awful lot of them are heavily invested in one or both of those companies.”

Coalsmoke grinned and replied, “Simple really.  Just let it be known that you are looking for some financial wrongdoing by an interlocked cadre of executives in both institutions.  Don't say WHAT the wrongdoing is, just that ANY attempt to interfere with your audit will be regarded as complicity and result in financial responsibility by the shareholders involved.  That should keep them away from the investigation in droves!

“For now, simply require Canterlot Casualty and Life to make insurance payments to beneficiaries promptly and freeze the ability of the Bank to foreclose any properties Kingdom wide, until you directly approve them.”

Luna smiled serenely as she agreed, “We have just been given business advice by one of Equestria's best business mares.  I think that we should take it.”

Celestia nodded.  “Anything else that we should do, Coalsmoke?”

The lovely pure black mare batted her eyelashes at me as she pointed to me. “Him.  Buy a customized truth testing spell from Grumpy, along with the questions that you need to ask of it.  I have several of them myself.  Great time savers.  You can't believe how quickly you start to get honest answers purely by habit when the liars themselves turn ghastly colors according to the degree of the lies that they try to tell you.”

The twins chuckled.  I volunteered, “I do have to be paid for the magic to work . . .”

Stallheart interrupted, “That's a greedy goat for you!  He never does anything for less than a hundred gold!  You are about to be robbed blind!”

I waited him out and went on, “Think that the Equestrian National Treasury can swing ten whole copper bits?  We can discuss the exact contract terms over the clover bloom scramble.  When we have the contract ready, one of the guards can fly it down to the Registry in the morning.  Mol will have closed up and gone home by now.”

Guard Major Lightning spoke up thoughtfully, “We could put Mister Stallheart in a transport net and remove him to the Ponyville Jail as a Royal Prisoner.  No point in having him here to listen to all that will be discussed regarding his company and the bank.”

“Well thought on, Major,” Luna replied.  She paused to write and seal a note.  “Deliver this along with the prisoner.  Judge Coldheart needs to be aware of the terms under which he is being held.”

The guards efficiently wrapped Stallheart in the transport net and carried him out, the sound their wings fading in the distance.

The next morning, after a quiet breakfast, Princesses Celestia and Luna, accompanied by their guard, took off from my ledge.  Watching them glide down toward Ponyville in perfect formation was an impressive sight.

Coalsmoke and I trotted down the trail, she to return to her many business interests and I to register the truth spell contract.  I was chuckling at the idea of so many business ponies in the Equestrian National Bank and Canterlot Casualty and Life turning interesting textures and shades of amusing colors while trying to lie their way out this mess!

We parted company with the agreement to meet for lunch at Caramel Treat's.  

As I trotted serenely along Ponyville's well shaded streets I noticed genuine proof that some ponies can actually learn from past errors! Several unicorns that I remembered from the days when they were Celestian Church bullies were quietly crossing the street to avoid any risk of meeting me . . . again!  Those “superior” unicorns had provided the public of Ponyville with many amusing mishaps by running afoul of my simple and non lethal defensive spells back during the days of the “Celestian Church”.

My little glamored hooves that really aren't there pattered on the nice carpet runners of the Ponyville town hall as I turned into the Hall of Records.  Mol looked at my happy smile and snickered, “A smile like that on you bodes no good for somepony!  What is happening now?”

I just hoofed over the contracts and said, “Read them for yourself, my lovely young accomplice in justice.”

Mol was chuckling as she picked up the contracts.  “With you Grumpy, those two words usually go together as one word.  INJUSTICE!”

Her eyes caught the twin Royal Seals, along with the Seal of their mother, Skyglow, titular Queen of Equestria.  Suddenly, Mol became all business, very carefully documenting the contracts.  Looking up from her work, she asked seriously, “Why would their Highnesses need customized truth spells?”

My tail was happily flipping about so fast that I almost thought that I should be flying as I replied, “They were requested to do a trial under the Royal Wing!  As preparation for the trial, they are doing a TOTAL AUDIT of both Canterlot Casualty and Life and the Equestrian National Bank.  

“Besides that, their Highnesses have given both institutions Royal Orders to make immediate payment of insurance claims in full and to cease all foreclosures unless specifically and individually approved by both Celestia and Luna.”

Mol brightened up and suggested, “Perhaps you ought to suggest to their Highnesses that they extend their inquiry here to the Hall of Records.  All foreclosures, insurance claims and payments have to be registered.”

“Mol, my sweet and lovely young mare, would you honor me by joining Coalsmoke and I for lunch at Caramel Treat's?”

Shortly, I was at the front door of Canterlot Casualty and Life.  My way was blocked by a Royal Guard at first.  “No pony or other is allowed in, sir.  There is a Royal Audit in progress.”

“I know that, Sargent Cirrus.  Please convey to their Highnesses that Grumpy Goat has a suggestion for further inquiry about the matters in question.”

To my surprise, he replied courteously, “Please wait here, sir.  I shall relay your message.”  He called a replacement to stand guard while he did just that.  In only a few moments, he escorted me back to Stallheart's office, where Princess Luna was plowing her way through a stack of documents.  She looked up and smiled.

“Hi, Grumpy!  What have you got for me?”

“Two things, Princess.  First, your truth spells are now registered and active.  Second, Mol, down at the Hall of Records, suggested that you double check what you find here with the registry because insurance claims, payments, foreclosures and other title changes need to be registered.”

“I see. I am going to pass that along to Celestia.  She is handling the Equestrian National audit.  I am sure that she will find the notion as useful as I will.  

“Now, I am really busy.”  She looked up from her papers with a grin and added, “But not too busy to snag lunch from Caramel Treat's!  See you there in about an hour, Grumpy!”

Coming out of the Canterlot Casualty and Life office, I ran into a lovely green mare with lighter green mane and tail.  She had her camera along and was getting pictures of the closed office with Royal Guards standing sentry duty at the doors.

I greeted her, “Hi, Romane!  If you want the best story on this and the Equestrian National being shut too, come on up to Caramel Treat's with me.  Princess Luna will be heading up there in about an hour to get lunch.  She is handling the Canterlot Casualty and Life side of the case.”

As we trotted up Mane Street toward Caramel Treat's Sweets, Romane asked, “What exactly is happening, Grumpy?  You seem to be in the middle of it, whatever it is.”

I snickered as I replied, “I was just the pebble that set off the landslide. You are aware that I am dead, right?  Have been for fifteen years now, correct?”

Romane nodded.  “You even have a death certificate signed and sealed by Princess Luna.  I remember the trial when you sued the Ponyville Medical Society.  Princess Luna even went to the trouble to get your exact date and time of death from the Litch King.”

“Well, it turned out that Canterlot Casualty and Life knew it too.  They convinced me that paying off my house ended the policy.  Thing is, it had a β5000 death benefit too.  They have been ignoring that for the last fifteen years.  With interest and penalties, it has grown to a tidy sum.

“They realized that the last copy of the policy that was not in their records was in the Hall of Records.  Mol caught them red hoofed trying to steal it.

“That and a few other shenanigans turned up a host of irregularities.  Seems that Equestrian National is tied up solidly in the mess, too.  There was a demand by one of the ringleaders for a trial under the Royal Wing.

“That has led to the present audits of both institutions as the Princesses gather their evidence.”

#INSURANCE #MLP Fan Fiction #The Annals of Grumpy Goat #Written by De Writer

[challengeartistsimple]

How to Choose a Good Vlogging Camera For Your YouTube Channel

Like cars, there are so many different vlogging camera options for your YouTube channel to choose from at various price points. Some offer 4K and slow motion, some don’t, each camera has a specific purpose. So, what are some of the top features that make a great vlogging camera for YouTube?

Flip Out Screen

Surprisingly a lot of the cost friendly cameras available today have this! Flip out screens are immensely helpful when you’re filming on your own. A flip out screen is the screen on the back of your camera being able to flip around so that when looking into your camera’s lens, you can see exactly what’s being recorded in frame.

An extra bonus to the flip out screen is if the camera also has a touch screen feature. So if you’re looking into your lens while vlogging with your screen facing you, then you can use the touch screen feature to adjust any settings simultaneously.

Autofocus

Camera autofocus is huge for vlogging because you always want to make sure the subject is in focus when being recorded. It’s takes a little extra effort to do it manually, but why waste your time fiddling with that when most cameras these days will do the phenomenal job for you.

Each camera brand’s autofocus is a little different. For example, my experience with Sony cameras has been hit or miss. My RX100 camera is amazing when it comes to autofocus but I find my A7s II camera sometimes has a hard time focusing on what I’d like it to.

I’ve also heard great things about Canon’s autofocus system. Whichever camera you end up choosing, this will probably be your most used feature.

Audio Input For Microphones

The biggest thing you should be aware of before you even think about camera settings is how you’re going to record your audio. Not all cost friendly cameras have audio inputs, but if you want to make your vlogs feel more professional then you should heavily consider buying a camera that you can attach a microphone to.

Check out this post on how to record good quality sound for your YouTube videos.

Here’s a couple of features that others may consider when purchasing a camera, although, I don’t think they’re as important the ones mentioned above. However, I thought I would mention them anyway because they might be important to you.

Sensor Size

Sensor size is exactly how it sounds. It is the size of the sensor inside your camera. The bigger the sensor, the better your image quality will be. Though I do believe strongly in sensor size and megapixel count, it’s only important when you’re spending $3,000+ on camera equipment.

Being a videographer for a living, most of my work is shot on a “Full Frame sensor” because I’m producing a product for a client. If you’re new to cameras, and are just starting a YouTube channel for your own vlogs, I wouldn’t spend anymore then $2,000 tops.

Full frame sensors unfortunately don’t exist under the $2,000 price point. Some people will argue that APS-C sensors (like what’s in the Canon 80D) are the next best thing under Full Frame, but I personally don’t see the difference between an APS-C sensor and the 1-inch CMOS sensor (like what’s in the Sony RX100 series).

Resolution

Your vlogging camera’s resolution is referring to the amount of detail that a camera can capture and it is measured in pixels. The more pixels an image has, the more detail it can capture. Most people, including myself, are uploading content in 1080p (that’s 1920 by 1080 pixels).

1080p has been the HD standard for years now and looks great when you’re watching it. Most viewers on YouTube are watching on their mobile phones and most mobile devices still have a display resolution of 1080p. Only recently have cell phones started to get a higher pixel display count, but on a screen that small, it’s difficult to tell the difference between 4K and 1080p.

There is a divide in the online community about whether or not you should film in 1080p vs 4K and there are good arguments for both, but since I’ve owned a 4K camera, I primarily shoot in that resolution (which is 3840 x 2160 pixels).

The main reason I like shooting in 4K is that when I downgrade the footage to 1080p in editing, it makes my footage appear sharper, clearer, and more detailed. It also allows me to reframe my image if I’m unhappy with my original composition.

Allowing for reframing can be huge, especially on more run and gun style shoots where you don’t have a lot of time to properly set up your shots to your liking. The only downside to filming videos in 4K is that you’ll need a computer that can handle those bigger files as well as a fast SD card to keep up with the camera’s recording bitrate.

Stabilization

If you plan on vlogging while you’re out exploring the world, then you may want to consider buying a vlogging camera for your YouTube channel that has stabilization. Stabilization is a feature that is either built into the camera itself and/or a specific lens (usually higher end).

For example, let’s say you’re vlogging while taking a walk. If your camera doesn’t have stabilization, then your camera is going to pick up every bump you make while you’re walking. If your camera or lens does have stabilization, then it will compensate for that movement and will make your footage smoother and less jittery.

Lastly, most cameras that offer the Wifi function usually let you control your camera through an app. This can be helpful with cameras like the GoPro series because navigating through the settings options with 2 buttons is not always the easiest. However, this feature isn’t really that necessary, as you’ll probably not being upload vlogs directly to YouTube without any edits.

Hopefully these tips will help you refine your options when looking to purchase a vlogging camera for your YouTube channel. There is no “one size fits all” solution, so be sure to think about what kind of vlog you want to make and choose your camera based on those needs.

VLOG NATION CONTRIBUTOR Chris Monteiro is a Canadian videographer and drone pilot, who is passionate about creating dynamic digital content. An avid traveller, Chris loves to explore new places with his Sony A7Sii in hand and aims to tell engaging stories about what he captures through his lens.

The post How to Choose a Good Vlogging Camera For Your YouTube Channel appeared first on Vlog Nation.

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[sampughphotography]

Evaluation of Project 1 for Documentary photography.

Danger and death are subjects in which John Hilliard’s work is ever exploring and this encouraged me to explore death and danger in my work as well. I wanted to tell a story of murder and suicide and I think I achieved this. I think my images are dark and scary but also have a sense of calm. For example, the way the girl has no panic on her face even in the situation that she is in. This gives the images an even stranger feeling because this sense of calm is so out of place in the images.

I wanted my images to be dark and gritty to add to that sense. To make them grittier I used a higher ISO. My ISO was at 1250 which gives this grainier effect on the images. I made the images less saturated in colour when editing too as to add to this effect. I also wanted to really focus in on the people and actions in the scene and not be distracted by anything in the background. To do this I used the lowest apertures that I could use. For images one and four my aperture was F/1.8 which gives an extremely shallow depth of field and this allowed me to highlight certain parts of the image. For images two and three I used an aperture of F/4 which gives a less shallow depth of field but still enough so that I could focus in on the right parts of the image. I wanted sharp images without any blur or motion so I used a shutter speed of 1/400 of a second which for one, allowed for crisp Images without motion, but also kept the images darker. I also edited the images to be slightly more contrasted and darker overall. I also wanted the shots to be very restricted in terms of what you can see in each one. For example, in image one I wanted the fingers to be poking into the image but only slightly and in image two I wanted to show as little of the strangler as possible but still give it some kind of identity. I cropped the image slightly to allow the fingers to be In frame but not to make them too obvious. This is why I didn’t use image five, because it doesn’t show any of the strangler so I feel as though we don’t connect as much to the image. I didn’t use image six because there was too much background in the shot and it wasn’t dark enough to get that dangerous and gritty feeling. Image seven was too bright as well and again it showed too much in the image. We know the glass is on the table because we see it in image two so we don’t need so much around it. Finally, image eight is similar to my chosen image but I wanted the eyes to be looking down at the knife as it makes it look as though she is focused on what she is doing which is more realistic in that situation.

Overall, I am happy with the way my images turned out because I think they do tell us a story which twists and turns and that we don’t know what to expect. We decided that the series would be shot at a desk because I allowed the girl to be sat down and for the glass to be on the table. We tried using different rooms but in many of them, there was too much light coming through windows. After looking in multiple rooms, we found one with a small window that we could easily cover which was perfect for this series.

My strengths of this project were in creating the ideas, which was very focused on creating a story that made sense. Another strength came in the form of planning the shoot because I already knew exactly where the camera and light was going to be for each shot and this saved a lot of time when shooting. I also had strength in using my camera and knowing my equipment, I know the manual setting well and this allowed me to create as near an image I could to what I wanted and I think this shines through in my images. I made sure I used a tripod too which stabilised all of my work and which made me think harder about what I wanted in my images and how the composition was made up. However, during the project I struggled to narrow down what ideas I wanted. I came up with many scenarios but I found it difficult to select the right one which wasted some time. My images very much reflect the style of documentary photography as they have that up close and personal feel as well as telling a story which is really the basis of documentary photography.