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#you can hate shane all you want but people love to hate him for his alcoholism and not really think too deeply about it
gaykillermoth · 3 months
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"i hate shane because hes an alcoholic" aha thats cool and im sure it doesnt reflect on your opinion of real life addicts
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mysticmikalla · 6 months
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Stardew Valley Bachelors Cuddling Headcanons
thinkin' about cuddly bachelors to Cope
Harvey
Harvey is one of those people who only lay in bed when he is ready to go to sleep, so cuddling is usually a pre-sleep activity, an added treat at the end of his long day
I think he likes being both the little and big spoon, but prefers being held just a liiiitle bit more
He likes to lay with you after a shower, a shave and his teeth are brushed, because once he lays down with you.... only the shrill sound of his alarm going off in the morning will be enough to get him back up
Harvey is one of those people who hate a rushed routine and take punctuality very seriously
But because waking up in your arms just feels too darn good sometimes, he sets an alarm a little earlier than his usual one, just so he can be awake enough to enjoy the first minutes of the morning being held by you
Shane
I believe Shane likes to be horizontal more than he likes to be vertical on a good day, anyway
But after you? Oh boy
There is no feeling like coming home and being able to sink into the mattress, his body heavy with the weight of the day
And now on top of that he then gets to have the person he loves laying on his chest? Tracing his skin with your fingers absentmindedly? Massaging his scalp with the pads on your fingers?
It’s his favorite thing in the world, actually
He'll cling on to you especially tight after a rough day, only reluctantly letting you go if you absolutely must
Sam
Although Sam loves it when it’s just you and him and his bed in your own little world, this man cannot sit still for too long
If you’re just laying together and talking, he needs to be playing with your fingers, with your hair, playfully biting your arm, a tickle attack or two
He also likes to lay on you. Like, fully - body completely on top of yours as he scrolls on his phone or rambles about something while you run your hands through his blond hair
Maybe he has too much energy, or maybe it's the ADHD I headcanon him to have, or maybe he's just really excited to finally get some alone time with you
… Sam just wants to be all over you, all at once
Unless he’s super exhausted or it’s before going to sleep, cuddling with Sam is not usually a bonding relaxing experience, but rather bonding over a playful one
Sebastian
Because of how he is and how he prefers to show and receive affection, Sebastian has always been kind of touch-starved, tbh
Especially in the beginning of the relationship
I think it’s no secret that he isn’t a very touchy person in general, but...
Sebastian liked cuddling a lot more than he was willing to admit or ask for at first
But back when you two first started dating, you would waste days away in his bed, talking about nothing and everything for hours, sleeping together, playing together, getting high, having sex, repeat
Just… you and him and him and you in your own world, limbs comfortably tangled with each other
Especially during the winter when you didn’t have as much farm work, you two would only pull away from each other for bare necessities
After you’re married and he’s moved in, he likes that the bed is bigger and sometimes you two can lay together and do your own thing in your own space
But in the end he’ll always gravitate back towards you
Elliot
Cuddling with Elliot is peaceful
His voice takes on another melody when it’s just you and him in the comfort of his bed
The lights are dim but bright enough so that he can softly read you to sleep
He plays with your hair, his touches soft and gentle along the exposed skin of your arms
And he smells so good, and it's all around you as you lay in the comfort of his arms
Elliot likes it when you’re draped on him and he gets to wrap his arms around you and envelop you fully
Any position that allows him to be so close to you is his favorite
It’s…. safe. And Elliot likes safe
Alex
I firmly believe Alex prefers being the little spoon the majority of the time
Sometimes muscly jocks just want to be held, you know?
He likes to feel your body pressed against his from behind, and he’ll pull on your arms, tightening them around him, as if he’s letting you know how much he doesn’t want you to let go quite yet
He'll kiss the top of your hair, then bury his face on your neck and place kisses there too, sometimes innocent, sometimes not
Although not as bad as Sam, Alex doesn’t like to sit still for too long, either, so cuddling sessions are either before bed or a brief but welcome break during the day
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junicult · 10 months
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what are the bachelors love languages?
!! the bachelors love languages
contains ; fluff! sfw. gn!reader. established relationships. the bachelors being clingy lol. not proofread.
note ; i finished this earlier then expected so here u goo
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harvey.
- he likes to receive words of affirmation, for sure.
- he loves those moments when you’re affectionate, holding him and kissing him,
- but nothing will top the way he feels when you verbally reassure him just how much you love him.
- to him, it’s so intimate to hear in detail of how much he means to you.
- theres nothing better to him then when you’ve finished up a day of working, you’re all exhausted and drained, and the minute you walk through the door you just physically relax.
- you come up behind him, wrapped your arms around his torso and press your cheek against his back.
- “missed you a lot today, i needed this.”
- sure, the act of sighing and latching onto him tells him the same thing, but it really sinks in when he hears it.
- “you missed me?” he smiles, looking down at you with a soft gleam in his eye.
- “of course i missed you. i always miss you when you’re not around.”
- a sure-fire way to get him to melt. swear.
- when it comes to his personal love language, though, it’s absolutely acts of service.
- he loves being of help to you, in any way he can.
- and usually you dismiss him when he tries to help you outside, given he has his own work he needs to focus on as well.
- so when you’ve gone the whole day working non-stop, he always makes an effort to help you feel better.
- whether you’re sore, and need a massage, or even in the way he makes dinner every night.
- any excuse to pamper you, he’s taking it.
- you’ve done so much for him, who is he to not pay it back?
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sam.
- PHYSICAL TOUCHHHHH.
- he cannot take his hands off of you sometimes. the moment you’re in his sight, he wants to be holding you.
- and, if you don’t like physical touch, then…you might have to get used to it.
- he will hold back, but he loves your presence too much.
- he wants to cuddle whenever you’re laying together, he likes to hold your hand when you’re out in public.
- he’s clingy in general. he doesn’t like spending more then a day apart.
- and even then, if you go without seeing each other from morning to night, he’ll be extra antsy the entire day.
- he might even walk out to go find you.
- he also loves receiving physical touch. if your love language is something else entirely, that’s fine with him of course.
- but when you’re the one to lean into him, kiss him and hold him first; he’s grinning.
- “aw, hi! what’s up? are you almost done? do you need any help?”
- u opened a gate that’s hard to close.
- i hate this as a term but…golden retriever.
- if he had a tail it’d be WAGGING.
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shane.
- his own love language is quality time.
- whether it be the two of you sitting together, not really talking just enjoying the company of one another,
- or times when you’d come along with him, jas, and marnie during events.
- those are his favorite.
- he really loves those moments when you’re talking about your day, holding his hand and rubbing his knuckles absentmindedly.
- it just reminds him you’re there with him, not thinking about anyone else.
- and those times when he gets to see the way you interact with the people he loves so much; it warms his heart in ways he hasn’t felt in a long time.
- and despite jas being pretty hard to get to know, somehow she ends up latched by your side, playing dolls with you, asking about you.
- when marnie teaches you a few things about your animals, and you’re just patiently listening, giving her all of your attention and even laughing with her,
- idk. he’s just obsessed.
- cus after a while you’ll just turn back to him, pull him in close and give him a little kiss on the cheek…he’s blushing. i said it.
- the love language he likes to receive is words of affirmation.
- he melts when you tell him how much you love him, what you love about him, how handsome he is.
- it’s a one way ticket to get him attached to ur hip.
- i think it’s just because he doesn’t hear it often, so in general it comes as a shock when he gets compliments.
- but when he hears it from you…omg.
- “why’re you staring at me?”
- “you look really handsome. did you shave?”
- something as simple as that. it even hits deeper when he didn’t shave, he just looks like that.
- he tries to pretend like it didn’t make him all gushy inside, but the suppressed smile and the fact that he has to turn his face from you says otherwise.
- and if you tease, “aw, did i embarrass you?” while giggling.
- you’ll kill him. he’s a dead man in love.
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sebastian.
- he’s another guy who loves quality time.
- giving, and receiving.
- he’s not big on going out, spending time with large crowds of people, etc.
- it always makes him super anxious, even when you’re there he still sorta hates it.
- however, if it were just the two of you, let’s say out for dinner at a nice restaurant or something, i honestly think he loves that.
- he prefers staying inside with you a million times more, but there’s something so sweet about being able to sit with you, in your own booth he can pretend it’s his own little bubble.
- there’s no interruptions from work or family, no responsibilities when he’s in this bubble with you.
- yeah, sure, the waiter will interject a couple times, but he still gets to just sit alone with you, talk to you, learn new things about you.
- not to mention, when you do all the talking he likes to watch you as well.
- he thinks it’s cute the way your voice changes, and how you treat the waiters so politely.
- despite this being a little guilty pleasure of his, he still prefers alone time with you.
- laying in bed, tiredly humming about things. you’re just resting on your sides, looking at each other lovingly.
- sometimes when you’re making dinner, he props up his computer nearby. while you’re both doing separate things, he’s just happy you’re in the same room together.
- and those times when he helps you out with your chores. helping you with crops, going into the mines with you,
- whatever it is, he loves it.
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alex.
- his love language is physical touch.
- there’s no doubt in my mind he doesn’t love the feeling of you in his arms, especially when he’s falling asleep and whatnot.
- even if he falls asleep before you get home, he’s still entirely unconscious but the minute you get in bed he still reaches for you.
- he’s always kissing your cheek as a way to say hello. and he’s the type that kisses you goodbye multiple times.
- like 5 minutes after you initially said goodbye, he’s still pulling you back in and ignoring your laugh, “alex, i really need to goo!”
- he’s definitely slipped his fingers into your back pocket to tug you closer after you turn away, just to kiss you again.
- he can pretend he isn’t, but he’s so clingy.
- surprisingly though, he’s not picky when it comes to your love language. he doesn’t care what it is.
- he enjoys his alone time with you, whenever you touch and hug him, hearing about how much you love him, when you make him dinner, etc.
- but he still loves when you wake him up with a freshly made complete breakfast, or even cook him a salmon dinner.
- it’s domestic, and he’s grateful for how much effort you put into it.
- he seriously falls deeper in love when you surprise him with those.
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elliott.
- quality time <33
- there’s nothing he loves more then to see your face after an exhausting day.
- he’s not picky at all. not even in the slightest. he’ll take any change he can get to be with you.
- even if you can only spare a few minutes, he’s basking in the glory of each second.
- your quality time spent together is a mix of many different things;
- whether you’re sitting in silence, he’s writing and you’re just sitting beside him,
- or he’s listening intently to how you talk about your day, and how your animals are doing.
- he’s holding your hand, resting his chin in his own, making you feel like you’re the only person in the entire world.
- it’s his favorite thing.
- he’s also not picky. any show of affection you give him, it’ll never fail to warm his heart.
- you so kindly offer him a pomegranate, he holds the back of your hand, bringing the fruit closer and taking a bite.
- all of the juices slide between your fingers, down your palm, and he briefly licks the juice away, before pressing a kiss to your palm and expressing his gratefulness.
- he’s so extra.
- but he still takes the fruit when you offer it all.
- it’s a little plus for you, too, especially when he leans in for a kiss and you get to taste the fruit, too.
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phoenixkaptain · 3 months
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I love Stardew Valley and I love the community and I love how we all bond over pixelated chickens like we’re seventy-year-old women bonding over grandchildren- - -
But I get so annoyed with the character hate, like!!! All the characters are great!! All the romance-able characters are great!! I keep getting recommended videos about the bad parts of characters and I just want to scream!!
Penny: lovely. Charming. Kids are a big part of dating her because she teaches kids, of course she’s going to react a bit badly if you hate children. She is trying to teach kids so that they don’t have to have the same life she and her mother do, why do you hate this woman who is just anxious?
Shane: lovely. Charming. Perfect. “He still drinks after we get married, which ruins the whole story” NO. No. Shane is an alcoholic, and a severe one. If he quit cold-turkey, he would fucking die. “Harvey pumped his stomach” HE WOULD DIE. And I don’t care that my husband is messy, he has his own room and I don’t have to go over there!!
Maru: lovely. Charming. She hates working. She loves working on machines. She thinks about machines to build for you to make life easier. She’s adorable. She has a complicated relationship with her brother and I want to help them fix it goddangit because I love fictional siblings.
Elliott: lovely. Charming. An artist. He only leaves his home for like four hours a day. I can really relate to the desire to shave off all of one’s own hair. I feel that in my bones. Also, is friends with Willy and I fucking love Willy so A++
Leah: “she’s a lesbian” She’s fucking bi stop erasing bi rep in Bi Rep the Video Game
Sam: he’s a musician and a skater. This is what the perfect man looks like.
Emily: just the most charming. She has a complicated relationship with her sister because she takes care of her. She works at a saloon, how can someone not love a literal saloon worker? She’s crazy, she’s wild, she’s a flower child, I’m in love with her
Harvey: glasses. Doctor man. Occasionally puts on headphones to not so subtly hint that he doesn’t want to talk to you. This is what the perfect man looks lik-
Abigail: I don’t see a lot of people complain about Abigal, but I’ve seen a few and it just feels like- you guys love Sebastian so much but don’t like Abigail? What type of double standard is this?
Alex: everyone always says not to date him if your playing a female farmer, but honestly, his dialogue only cuts out parts if you play male. Like, he still says he felt different about you from day one even if you’re playing as a girl. The character affected the most by your gender choice in regards to dating Alex is George, and if you’ve already befriended George, he’ll apologize for being mean about your sexuality when he never even said anything mean about your sexuality, which is kind of funny
I never see people complain about Haley or Sebastian, which is fair, because Haley has a cute character arc and Sebastian loves frogs (this is what the perfect man lo-) My only problem is that people praise these two but rag on everyone else when I feel like all the characters are balanced pretty evenly in terms of good-bad traits.
Which trait is which is dependent on the person playing the game anyway, so when someone like me plays, I can’t help but find the characters perfect because I’m very forgiving when it comes to fictional characters’ undesirable traits. I mean, my favourite trait of all is stupidity, pure and unbridled, I’m talking facepalm-inducing, groan-worthy, the type of character people complain about the most; the type of stupid that makes people stop enjoying things. How can I dislike these characters who are cute and a bit awkward and so ready to bed the first hot farmer they come across even when that farmer sifts through their trash and passes out three steps away from their own house and drinks mayonnaise and would eat hay given half the chance. Like come on. They’re all moron-sexual. I can relate to that.
In conclusion: your favourite bachelor and/or bachelorette is as wonderful as you think they are and screw the people who try to tell you otherwise. The characters are great because they appeal to different people. Enjoy the game and enjoy the dating and I swear to God if I see another person say that certain farm layouts are bad because they don’t make enough money- the game doesn’t have a time limit! You can make as much money as you want! You could sell one sap everyday and nothing else and you would still be able to make it to however much money you desire to have. There’s not really a fast way to make ten billion gold, that doesn’t mean that the farm layouts you don’t like are bad and yes I’m ranting just because I love the slopes of the mining farm its layout is chamrjng and picturesque and provides a unique challenge to decorating and placing buildings and it’s actually the BEST farm layout because I just decided so and-!
Stardew Valley is a great game, 10/10 would recommend, and the new update is already great because I found carrot seeds and I like carrots :)
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levyfiles · 2 months
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some people are mad at steven for a moral issue, tbf. regardless of your thoughts on watcher’s streaming service he did still say he has racist and homophobic friends. he still goes to a homophobic church.
I absolutely recognise that you must have been recently introduced to The Pod Clip that the twitter teens who hate him preserved to break out whenever it's a fresh moment to rally hate against him, but I would advise anyone just receiving this clip from August 2020 being passed around with the angle that Watcher tried to hide this. I and many others were there and just know that I have a zero tolerance standard for people who show no remorse or growth when they uplift racists and bigots.
Mine and other fans who were startled by the statement hoped publicly that it would be an opportunity to clear the air for Watcher because the current political climate was just finally examining anti-blackness in everyone's biases and as someone who is mixed-African growing up in an Asian household, I know that anti blackness is and has been a normalised mindset in the Asian community.
But the thing is, months before this, Steven platformed Tammy and her colleagues to discuss how all of us can work together to stop Asian hate and one of the conversations I highlighte back then was how very clear Tammy was that allyship from the Asian community to the African-American community was tantamount to moving forward. That the us vs them rhetoric has and continues to be harmful for both parties. Ryan and Steven were very involved in this discussion and agreed wholeheartedly.
Having said that, the narrative around the podcast ep never had a chance to be discussed rationally. It really ended up skewed because Steven's response to the backlash from that clip was this
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I hope that's legible to you. Many people who felt uneasy about what he said felt a lot better and his intention to say something at the top of the next episode would once again, unfortunately, get derailed because Twitter users (some who are particularly loud about loving and supporting Watcher yet constantly join in on the throng of bullying as soon as the tide turns) were adamant that they needed Watcher to post the clip and Steven's apology publicly on their youtube front page and on the main socials, to literally advertise it when the reality is that not many people were watching/listening to the podcast. For what reason would it be intelligent or good business practice to broadcast this hurtful moment so that more people could get hurt by it?
Watcher's response amid the harassment was to release a full podcast episode where they all discussed what they would do going forward to show that they are allies, not just by not being racist or homophobic but by being anti-these things. They showed that they cared about their impact. It was emotional and devastating to watch and by that time, we knew the pod was likely going to wind down. 2020 was already a miserable time and it was made worse because no matter what Steven or Watcher said at the time, the "stans" on Twitter wanted the man fired, they posted memes saying the world would be better if Steven Lim didn't exist, they wanted him shamed by his staff, and for Ryan and Shane to publicly disavow him. Many of these so-called devoted fans raided the server to yell about how Steven's alleged homophobia hurts them, most of them were white and pointedly talking over people of colour telling them "it's not your apology to accept!". It was a blood bath.
And I see waaaay too many of the same faces utilizing this completely neutral move--that of COURSE could have been executed better--to terrorize Steven, to make petitions to get him fired, commenting on his wedding photo telling him that Tammy should leave him, posting those same damn disgusting memes because you see, a whole bunch of people forgot how disgusting and evil this vendetta was to the point where even watcher's socials started to FOLLOW some of these genuinely mean-spirited individuals. They didn't give a shit about a movement or activism.
What kills me--what absolutely THROWS me--is that these same people expect to be able to return to interacting with the staff, attending live shows, buying merch and sending fan mail as soon as the hate tide winds down. All these people so concerned about a statement referencing faceless hypothetical racists and homophobes that Steven never named nor attributed any context for--as he was never given the chance--are so quick to dehumanize and caricaturize real human beings to their faces and they think this is a normal and acceptable behaviour.
You'll have to excuse me, as an older fan who has seen my fair share of normalised homophobia and racism in these communities, if I disagree.
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babiebom · 5 months
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How Many kids I think the Bachelor/ettes would (want to) have
A/N: because I like thinking about things~ also because I started thinking about it because I want a lot of kids and I wondered who I would actually work well with. Late Merry Christmas btw!!! And happy holidays!!
Tw:sex, maybe cursing idk I always put cursing, childbirth/children, mentions of issues with childbirth, mentions of postpartum depression, mentions of adoptions and other stuff surrounding it.
Wc: at least 5 bullet points for each
Sdv Masterlist
Sebastian
I think he would want either one kid only or as many as his partner wants
Because I can see him being a good dad to his kids
But like I also think that people like him only have one kid because they didn’t get along with their own siblings
So the trauma is like I don’t want to have to choose between my kids when they don’t get along and I don’t want any problems so having one is good
But I also thinks he would want to see how close siblings could be to live somewhat through them
So it’s literally a toss up
On the topic of adoption though he’d probably adopt an older kid if you’re okay with it
Like a teen that doesn’t have a family and is about to age out
I think he’s that type of person and you could adopt a baby or a younger kid later on.
I also think Robin would be present but not like constantly there. Like it’s grandmas for Christmas and other holidays and sometimes she visits but that’s it.
I do think that he would probably end up with a lot of kids bc he can’t keep it in his pants now that he has a significant other.
Sam
He’s going to have at least 3
I see him having 2 boys and a girl if I’m being honest and it would be really cute
All of them are learning to skateboard and something about music
I think he would be a very chaotic dad
Like you have a heart attack every couple of minutes being married to him
Like “yeah! Junior lost a tooth” “how’d he lose a tooth?” “He absolutely ate shit at the skatepark”
I think he would be happy to adopt but probably wouldn’t because of Jodi
I do headcanon Jodi as bit of judgemental
Like she won’t say anything outright but she will be passive aggressive like “I love allllll of my grandkids! Even (adopted child’s name)”
So if you guys do end up adopting for one reason or another you’ll only see Jodi for big holidays unless Sam can get her to change
Vincent is a sweet uncle though and Kent is a decent grandfather. Refuses to tell stories of the war to them though. Jodi is an overbearing but GREAT grandmother when she’s not being petty
Shane
Well he already has Jas so he either will have one more so she has a sibling/cousin
or he will have like 4 more to make the total 5
I do think he would like a big family
But all of the kids are a couple years apart at least because he does want to make sure they all are happy
It takes a while for you two to have kids or adopt because he does still have depression and thinks he would be a shitty father
But he’d be the best out of the bachelors I think maybe number two
Because I feel like out of all of them his love would be greater simply because he does have that self hate and he wants to make sure he’s doing as well as he can
Jas is VERY happy to be a big sister
Harvey
Harvey is a 2 kid guy
Like he would be a 1 kid guy but he’s afraid that the child would be lonely
I also think he would be an only child so he doesn’t want his kid to have the same childhood as him
But the kids would definitely have an age gap
Like at least 8 years because he wants to make sure you(if you’re a person who can give birth) are okay after giving birth.
I also think that if he adopts he would go for siblings specifically
Like two kids that don’t want to be separated by the system or two kids who are biologically related he would go for them
Simply because he wants two kids anyways and keeping people together is what would make him happy
Alex
Either 1 or 4 there’s no in between
I feel like you would have either all boys or all girls with him
Like his genes are very predictable not gonna lie
No matter what gender I think he would make all of them play gridball
Would be hella sad if none of the kids liked the sport bc COME ON
I do think that in his heart he would like to adopt
Especially if it’s to save a kid that’s in a bad family situation
Because in a way his grandparents adopted him after his father left and his mother died
Like those are his parents for lack of actual mom and dad
Very sweet dad but does have sexist tendencies
Like if you have daughters he would be much more strict with them but also would spoil them rotten
And while he’s not as strict with the boys he’s also not as sweet on them.
You have to get him to open up and realize that raising the kids in a specific way can breed resentment towards him. He gets smarter the more kids you have.
Elliott
I think Elliott would want one or two
I don’t know why but I see him as a guy that doesn’t have a lot of kids
Mostly because I feel like he would still like to have time with his partner and having a lot of kids would take away from that unless you can get a sitter or something
But I also feel like he wouldn’t want daycare or a babysitter or nanny
He wants to raise the kids together especially because you both work from home
Also having more than I think 3 for him would make it so he has no time to work on writing
And having only a couple would mean he can evenly give enough attention to the kids.
While for some people having a lot of kids is not a problem with attention and love I think Elliot knows that he’s the type of person that cannot be spread too thin.
Which isn’t a bad thing.
If you’re same sex he is not opposed to adoption
Would like to adopt twins though
Would prefer boy girl twins but obviously won’t throw a fit if it doesn’t work out that way
You’re adopting kids not a dog.
Penny
Easily at least 6
I don’t think she would have the most easy pregnancies
But she will make it look as if she’s the perfect housewife and that bearing children is a breeze for her
She loves kids and wants a big happy family especially because of her upbringing
So if you marry her expect her to want to have kids that are all at least a year apart in age
Doesn’t mind getting pregnant again as soon as you’re cleared for sex
I do think she would prefer to bear children instead of adopt but she’s not opposed to it
I could also see her becoming a foster mother at some point and taking in a bunch of children because she has an empty nest
If you’re the same sex she would probably want ivf
Like obviously this isn’t meant to be offensive and some people have different takes
But she also won’t like be upset that you have to adopt and she would make sure to adopt a BUNCH of children
Is a good mother and tries hard to spread her attention evenly.
You having a farm is great for this type of situation not gonna lie
Leah
To be VERY honest I see Leah as the kind of woman to be a single mom
Not because she gets divorced or her partner dies
It’s literally by choice only her and her kid in their cabin painting.
BUT OBVIOUSLY in this scenario she’s married to you
She would still only have 1 or 2 kids
I don’t think she would really enjoy being pregnant
Like she would like doing the pregnancy art things
But the state of being that she’s in is HORRIBLE she HATES IT
But she loves her kid so much that she’s like okay I can do it one more time.
Maru
Maru is either a one person kid or a 5 person kid tbh
And I do think that science people be lowkey freaky
So I do think she would have a lot of kids
Like somehow she’s always pregnant and everyone is like ?????? Another kid?????
And shes like YEAH I KNOW ISNT THE HUMAN BODY AMAZING????
Y’all’s kids are super smart ngl
Like you’re like???????wtf
Like even if you end up adopting they’re super smart and you’re like ????????? WTF HOW
Though they are still very interested in farming.
Somehow combines the two and creates a super farm
Like you make so much more money after having kids it’s insane.
Haley
Two or three kid woman
No matter how strong your genes are your kids will always have either blonde hair or blue eyes if not both.
Out of all the people having kids your kids with her would have the most normal names
She was a mean girl in high school she’s not setting up her kids for failure from the beginning
Unlike the others who would be on board with homeschooling if that’s what you wanted Haley wants the kids in public or private school.
Shes not much of a teacher and you’re always working on the farm so she wants them to have a good chance of being smart.
I think that y’all would have tons of baby books for the kids because she takes at least 10 pictures a day
Like there is no running out of embarrassing baby pictures your kids better behave lmao
Actually a good mom and ends up being one of those “I’m a cool mom right” women
But she’s actually kinda cool when she’s not making dated references.
Emily
One kid that is just as weird as she is
It doesn’t matter if the kid is adopted or not they behave just like her
But also I think she would go for adopting or fostering the more troubled children because they need love too
And I think she’s the perfect person to understand people on a different level than others.
A very sweet mother that is different than the other bachelor/ettes
Your kid turns out very happy, kind, and connected to the world
They might be a little weird like her
But are well liked by the people who find themselves misunderstood.
She would also be the type of person to run a foster home.
Abigail
I think Abby would like 2 kids.
I think she was very lonely as a kid
Especially with her father only focusing on his work and her mother hanging out with her but not really understanding her likes and hobbies
If she had a sibling there could be a chance that they won’t get along but she feels in her heart that they would’ve been close
So she would have two kids that are like maybe 2 years apart or 5 years apart
I don’t think she would enjoy being pregnant but she enjoys it more than she thought she would
Is not willing to go through giving birth again
So if you’re a person who could give birth if you want more than 2 kids then you’re giving birth
If you’re a person that can get others pregnant then you better plan for a surrogate or adoption because like I said she’s not going through that labor shit again
She is open to having more than 2 kids but like there’s other things that you have to do if you want them
Is a decent mom is kinda awkward with mothering but tries her best
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biscuitbox23 · 5 months
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The other woman.
Summary: The other woman will spend her life alone…
Authors Note: am back with another fic. I always thought about Lori and Shane and whatever happens, it’s always the song ‘The other woman’ from Lana del Rey. Poor rick :( in this case I wanted it to be like Rick still dealing with the grief and loss of his wife while Y/n fills in the gap because we all know Rick would NEVER EVER cheat on Lori.
Warnings: Suggestive themes but no actual smut comes in (still be cautious with this), angst, unrequited love. If I missed anything don’t be shy to comment on it, please do.
word count: 1.8k
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The other woman has time to manicure her nails The other woman is perfect where her rival fails And she's never seen with pin curls in her hair anywhere.
You can almost feel his gaze in your cell room. You lay on your belly on the bed as you flipped through old gossip magazines like the ones you'd see in the front of a convenience store. It had radiant colors and models, actresses, you name it. It didn't help take away the longing ogling at you as you stared back at him, putting your magazine down. 
It didn't help that you had your pajamas still on. It was a small tank top with a lace neckline with matching shorts. It was silky, and it hugged onto your skin snuggly. It was coral-colored. It was Rick's favorite. It was no surprise. You liked to get his attention from time to time. 
You tried to put on this unrecognizable facade of cluelessness. It made you look more compliant. You like to paint your nails as leisure while everyone does their business and the jobs they have to contribute to the prison. You loved to feel pretty. Even at times like this, where you kill or get killed.
You'd see Rick pace around the prison like a madman. Carl had to deal with losing his mother. You didn't blame him. Rick was married to her for a long time. Sometimes, the widower would scream at nothing. It would wake you up in the night. Now you warm his bed. 
The other woman enchants her clothes with French perfume The other woman keeps fresh cut flowers in each room And there are never toys that's scattered everywhere.
You always kept yourself clean. It was important. You can never go a week without showering. Ever since the apocalypse, it has been difficult for you. So you tried your best to smell good and be presentable for yourself. You kept your cell tidy and pristine, too. You cared for Judith when Beth had to spend some time with her father, Hershel. Play her, dress her, change her, almost as if you were her mother. You only did it so you could contribute to the group. You did not want to get kicked out like last time.
You were being weak and useless. That was what your last group would say. It was not your fault. You realize they made you live bait. Then you found Rick just a few days later. Unfortunately, Rick was not feeling so well when you came.
You had always had an odd attraction to him. At first, you would hate him for being rude to you, then feel your heart pull towards him. You understood his grief, though. The death of his wife brought the worst in him. You wanted to fix it, somehow.
So you tried your best to make up for it. Tidying cells, checking up on people, eating less so the rest of the group can have more rations. You wanted to fit in, to feel a part of it. The people were genuine, especially Carol. You felt his presence in every corner of the prison. You did not mind it. You would feel your core start to feel something else.
But it was never you who he was imagining. Was it? Whenever both of you share the night.
In sleepless nights with him, you can feel his breath on your ear, whispering honeyed words and insincere thoughts while his hands anticipate the need to hold your flesh as his body towers over you. Sometimes, you wonder what was going on in his mind, whether it was you or his deceased lover whom he sees underneath him. The simple acknowledgment of your company or the unending bereavement that engulfed his very own consciousness. The ghost of the prison halls haunted by his late wife.
As he was by your side, it was almost as if he was not the same madman as he was in the first few days of your arrival. He was gentle and careful with you, like a craftsman handling a porcelain doll, unlike the man who yelled at you for arriving at their prison.
He would lie next to you. He still had his wedding band. You thought about removing it without him noticing. You knew it was wrong to think that way, but you could not help it. You wanted him for yourself, but you also did not want to hurt him. You did not want to be the cause of any more pain in his life. You pushed those thoughts aside and tried to focus on being a good member.
The wedding band on his finger was a cue of his wife, a memory forever etched in his mind. You couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy whenever you caught a glimpse of it, knowing that you could never replace what he had lost. Despite your desires, you made a conscious effort to act as support and to be there for his and Lori's baby, even Carl. You knew that his healing process would take time, but you were willing to be patient, even if it meant that you could never have him for yourself.
And when her old man comes to call He finds her waiting like a lonesome queen 'Cause to be by her side It's such a change from old routine
There are nights when you think he will finally confess his feelings towards you. The strong emotions that both of you shared mutually would finally be real all this time. The longing melancholy that you endured to feel him again. Things that only the other woman can feel.
You're lying down on the empty cot that held your tired body. The blanket lazily covered your body as you stared at the prison ceiling. You breathe rapidly, and your chest heaves as your eyes wander on Rick's body, glistening in the faint glow of the candle.
You'd be his if he asked you to.
He wouldn't be willing to do that for you. It's been only a few months since Lori's demise, his beloved partner. It's a woman you always envied despite her absence. The grief is still fresh, and he hasn't had enough time to heal yet.
As you lay there, watching Rick dress himself up and ready to leave, you couldn't help but wonder if there was a chance for something more between you two. However, deep down, you knew it was only a fantasy that would never come true. Despite the pain of unrequited love, you couldn't help but admire the man in front of you with his charming grace and loving body, grateful for the moments you shared even if they were limited.
Amidst a world ravaged by the undead, it felt like chasing after your heart's desires was a lost cause. You could only yearn for what you could have had. If only the world wasn't a grim and hopeless place you might have been Rick's beloved wife by now. You could have felt his longing gaze upon you as your bodies entwined in a loving moment, free from the fear and chaos that had consumed the world around you.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh The other woman will always cry herself to sleep The other woman will never have his love to keep And as the years go by, the other woman will spend her life alone.
Alone and heartbroken, you don't find comfort in your cell room after he left. Your body aches with humiliation as you feel your eyes well up. They sting in pain as tears form and trickle down your rosy cheeks and your neck, which bruised under his lustrous kisses.
The way he groans Lori's name from time to time, the way he shuts his eyes almost throughout the night as he claims your body for himself. You hated it all and despised Rick for it. Oh, but how could you hate him? It was impossible for you, wrapped around his finger like a pathetic toy used for his desire.
But he doesn't realize it. You were afraid to point it out, terrified that he would stop seeing you every night.
It is as if you longed for this twisted idea of true love. Sleeping with a widower, knowing you can't have his love for yourself. Yet, it entices you. Every night you spend with him, every chance you get. You did not like that feeling at all. Whatever happened, his heart belonged to his deceased wife. Someone he will never touch, kiss, hold.
How could Rick leave you yearning for him again and again? Disappearing as the sun rises, pretend like nothing is going on between you and him. That left you sobbing pathetically on your cot like a crybaby. You will never get the luxury of holding hands, cuddling with him on the bed, and sharing kisses. You longed for everything truly romantic, wishing what you had with Rick was similar to what Glenn and Maggie had.
Days passed, and you and Rick slowly stopped seeing each other every night. He started to heal from his grief a bit. He acknowledges you as a member, but never more than that, despite the intimacy both of you shared during his times of mental anguish.
Alone.
During your childhood, you seldom had any friends. Even if you did manage to find someone to hang out with, your friendship was usually brief and fleeting. Your parents had their hands full with your younger siblings, and you often found yourself waiting alone for bedtime stories. Solitude became your constant companion until the apocalypse turned your world upside down.
It's an unfortunate reality that every person we love will eventually leave us in this world. You've had to face your fair share of losses, starting with the passing of your mother, father, and even your siblings. The apocalypse further compounded your feelings of isolation and grief as you were forced to journey alone, with nobody to rely on but yourself.
Along the way, you encountered a group of people who initially seemed like they could be allies, but it quickly became apparent that their intentions were far from honorable. With no other options, you continued your journey until you eventually stumbled upon a prison that had been into a small group home.
Despite your initial reservations, you soon found yourself safe and protected among the survivors who had made the prison their home. You were grateful to finally have a sense of belonging after so much loss and chaos.
You have been alone your whole life, but you've never felt so lonely as it is now.
———————————————————
A/n: I pictured this so much better than what I thought… I mean it’s not that good, I tried my best since I needed to clear out my WIPs, I’m sorry if this doesn’t meet up to ya’lls standards. I tried making it less sexual but let me know if I should dumb it down a little.
tags : @richardsamboramylove55 @musicownsme
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thosewildcharms · 3 months
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towl 1x03 thoughts
rick is REALLY going through it trying to keep michonne alive by out maneuvering jadis AND thorne AND michonne herself because she fails horrendously at acting like she's not the most impressive person in the world AND trying not to have an aneurysm about all of that at the same time
speaking of rick you can't tell her to lie low and then eyefuck her in public every time you see her you are equally bad at this
equally you should probably stop kissing her every chance you get if you want her to believe you want her to leave lol
by contrast michonne screaming at him with her eyes while simultaneously giving him the silent treatment because she's actually too pissed off to yell at him? danai the actress you are!!!!!!!
also!!! the fact that rick thinks he can say "if you love me, you'll go" would actually make her leave is crazy. he has no idea how much that woman loves him! that's why she just smiled angrily at him because ACTUALLY. the reality is that she loves him way TOO much to ever leave him behind. that's WHY she's even here, in fact!!! he's not used to people fighting for him like this :(
michonne ripping that helmet off his head so hard i thought his head might come off with it had me cackling but also rick is stronger than me because I'd be on my knees
"you're a hero. with a shit haircut" I screamed he hates jadis so much it's so funny fdjaslkf
speaking of which I wonder if the freaks who think there is genuine sexual tension between rick and jadis caught his look of absolute disgust as he physically recoiled from her when she sexually harassed him for the 100th time. girl he's not gonna fuck you
CARL MENTION HELP
"He told me he'd find you. He found you." "Now I'm looking for him." MAYBE STOP MAKING ME CRY PERHAPS
one thing about rick and michonne they WILL find a minute to make out for a bit. and because andy and danai are EPs now they will do it with tongue while extremely well-lit! it's like they heard the complaints from the mothership and addressed them by kissing at least once per episode in broad daylight they love us
rich and michonne effortlessly fighting side by side and getting shit done after almost a decade apart because they are ACTUAL soulmates
the parallel between pearl aiming her gun at michonne and shane aiming his gun at rick in season 2 because they both feel threatened!!! big difference of course being that rick is there to literally put himself in the crosshairs to protect her
michonne staring rick down in a a turbulent helicopter and then abruptly yeeting them both into a raging storm because she is fed up with his shit is the funniest, most unhinged thing I've ever seen I love her so much
this show is fucking insane I love it. I'm still wary of how it will all end but I'm enjoying the hell out of it until we get there
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annwrites · 1 month
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— pairing: shane walsh x fem!reader
— type: ficlet
— summary: you & shane (mostly you) try to talk hershel into letting you take care of the walkers in the barn
— tags: talking
— tw: discussions of loss of loved ones
— word count: 1,009
— a/n: find my other posts concerning shane, which take place before & after this, here
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It'd taken a good bit of convincing on your part to talk Shane down from going full-steam-ahead and using the walkers in Hershel's barn for target practice.
Numerous soft words, touches, looks, and kisses later—and right in his lap, at that—he'd finally calmed enough to let you go inside and try and talk to Hershel yourself, instead of risking Shane, once again, acting first and thinking later, if at all.
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At present, you and Hershel are seated at his dining room table, Shane leaning back against the wall, eyes intently upon you.
You lay your arms upon the tabletop, hands clasped in front of you. You do your utmost to maintain a calm, sympathetic demeanor, in every manor, as you talk with him. Shane had already done enough damage. So much so that when you'd initially come to Hershel to talk, Shane right on your heels, he'd initially told the both of you to get out.
He'd only acquiesced due to you and your genteel femininity.
"How do you know? How can you look at me and tell me you don't believe there's a chance? For a cure? Something? Rick insisted the same thing, and my answer is the same now as it was then: we've been fighting plague after plague since the world began. And we've always survived, just as we will now. Just as...as they might." Hershel asks, voice full of doubt.
"You've been sheltered here. I can appreciate that. But you've still seen them. Their skin is rotting from their bones. Entire limbs...missing. Their organs have decayed. There's...there's no coming back from what they've become. And I hate to say it, because it's still so awful to even try and accept, to even grasp, but they're walking corpses. Who they once were? Your neighbors and friends, your family—people you loved and cared for? They passed away a long, long time ago.
“I think that, even if by some miracle, a cure or vaccine—treatment—one day becomes available…it won’t apply to them. They’re too far gone for any amount of saving. And I’m so sorry to say that. Truly.”
He’s quiet for a long while, staring at the window across the room, his breathing steady. You know he’s thinking; considering.
He doesn’t look at you when he replies. “You’ve lost people you love. By your age, I assume your parents?”
He glances to you then and you nod.
“Would you see things this way if they were in there?”
“I would.” And you mean it.
Shane sighs. “Man, let me tell you somethin’-”
You turn abruptly toward him. “Shane, stop.” You say it firmly.
He shuts his mouth.
Hershel then looks at him. “If you speak again, this meeting is over. You’re not the one I agreed to listen to. I let you in my house as a courtesy. Same with my farm, which you and your people were supposed to have been gone from some time ago after Carl recovered. But I’ve allowed you to stay longer out of good Christian charity, which runs lowers with every word you speak. Don’t you forget that.”
Shane shakes his head, looking away, thumbs threaded behind his belt.
Finally, Hershel looks back to you. “How would you do it?”
“I’d really prefer—if you do agree to this—that you and your family not be here when we…put them down,” you say it as kindly—as softly—as you can manage. “I don’t want all of you bearing witness to it—in any form. I don’t want to risk any of you seeing it, or even hearing the gunshots.
“I know it’s dangerous: asking all of you to leave. But it would be, at most, for perhaps an hour. We can get started on digging the graves now…if you have an estimate of how many may need created? And then, when it’s time, a couple of our people can go with you, maybe to the training area we set up, since it’s already cleared out.
“And when you come back, and they’ve been laid in their graves, you tell us their names—what you want put on their markers—and we’ll help you do that, too. You’ll finally have a place where you all can go to see them. To talk to them. To mourn them and grieve. They can finally be put to rest.”
You reach across the table, resting your palm atop his clasped hands.
Hershel stares at the table and he’s quiet again for a long time. Then, “I need time to consider this. This isn’t a decision I can make on my own. They’re not just my family and friends.”
You nod, bringing your hand back. “I understand that. Take all the time you need.”
“And if I tell you, once I’ve decided, that my decision is no? If I tell you all to get off my land once and for all?”
You glance to Shane and you see his jaw feather and then he shakes his head.
You look back to Hershel. “Then we would leave. But you need to understand that…if you leave them in there…it may only be a matter of time. A matter of time before they get through the doors. Or break through the sides of the barn. And if—when—that happens… We won’t be here to help you if they begin to overrun the house, or your farm. So, I guess it’s a good thing Patricia, Jimmy, and Beth went through training.”
He stands then, as do you. “I’ll consider this.”
You smile. “Thank you for being willing to. For taking the time to listen to me.”
You all three head toward the front door, until Hershel stops Shane with a hand to his chest, which he then drops. “She’s an extraordinary young woman. You could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve her. Perhaps you should take that into consideration,” he nods his head toward you. “For her sake, when you think about what’s truly best for her.”
Shane doesn’t deign to give him a reply. He simply takes your hand firmly in his, leading you outside.
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nauticallyhypnotical · 11 months
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Hello! Do you, by any chance, take request at the moment? If yes, can I request either seb, sam or shane (or all three by drabbles how they would do it) playing with f!farmers breats, where she's sensitive? 👉👈
Sebastian was far from a virgin, but thinking of your perky tits made him pop a boner like one. He caught a peek of your cleavage one day when he was helping his mom behind the counter of her shop. She was taking a call and needed him to ring up your supplies. He couldn't pass up the opportunity to be near you, having developed an intense attraction towards you ever since that rainy day you found him on the dock at the beach. It didn't help that you always brought him his favorite gifts. You were a fantastic cook, and you almost made a better pumpkin soup than his mom did.
Sebastian often wondered what your breasts would feel like after that day. He imagined the soft mounds in his hands, and thought of the sounds you'd make. He'd pinch your nipples, and you'd cry out his name and beg him to touch you more. He's often masturbated to the idea of his dick sliding in between your oiled up tits, and when he'd climax, he'd imagine his cum splattering all over your chest. You had to ask him once why he was blushing so hard when you were telling him about your new truffle oil makers. If only you knew the dirty thoughts that plagued his mind.
He wanted to confess his feelings towards you for so long, but had no idea how to go about it. He wasn't sure if you actually felt the same, and it didn't help him any seeing you be so goddamn nice to every bachelor in town. He hated the way the other men would make you giggle, wanting to have that laugh all to himself.
After seeing Elliott's arm around your shoulders one evening at the saloon, Sebastian decided he was going to go for a ride to clear his mind. He didn't want to lose you to the charming writer, but his anxiety wouldn't let him tell you that. He didn't know you had followed him until he opened the garage and was rolling his motorcycle out.
"Where are you going?" You asked him innocently. Sebastian's eyes lit up when he saw that you ditched Elliott, and suddenly had an idea pop into his head.
"I was gonna go for a ride, do you wanna join me?" He asked. He pulled an extra helmet out of the garage and offered it to you.
"I've never ridden a motorcycle before," you said nervously as you accepted the helmet. Sebastian smiled sweetly at you.
"It'll be fine, just hang on real tight to me, okay?" He said. You nodded, and got on behind him. You put on the helmet and wrapped your arms tightly around his waist, resting the helmet on his back. He put his on and turned to look back at you.
"All good?" He asked. You nodded and he revved the bike up, rolling you both towards the main road that led out of the valley. Although you're still scared, you admit the fear was exhilarating. It took about an hour to get to your destination, a ledge overseeing a distant Zuzu City. Night had already fallen, and thanks to there being little light pollution, the sky was bright with thousands of stars. Sebastian sat on the grass in the middle of the ledge, and you sat beside him.
"What do you see when you look out there?" He asked, gazing out in the distance. You thought for a moment.
"I honestly never liked the city. It's too loud and there's too many people. I really love our quiet little town. It really feels like home to me," you played with a flower in the grass. He gazed down on you fondly before speaking.
"For so long, I thought I wanted to leave the valley and become somebody in the city. But lately, I don't feel that way. I think I found a reason for staying." You blushed as tour next words just flowed out from your mouth.
"You're already somebody, Sebastian. You're everything to me."
"You know, I don't usually bring girls here, if you get what I'm trying to say," he blushed, maintaining eye contact with you.
"This place is special to me. Bringing you here means you're special to me, too." Your heart could just burst at the seams hearing his words. You've dreamt about him confessing his love for you for so long; It's honestly why you spend so much time 'shopping' at Robin's, hoping to get a chance to be near him.
"Sebastian," you whispered, bringing your face close to his. He closed the gap between you, bringing his hands up to hold your head. You melted into him, kissing him with a fiery passion. You ran your tongue over his lower lip, begging to be let in. He happily obliged, whimpering into your mouth as he pulled you into his lap. His heart was pounding a mile a minute as he came to terms with the situation currently unfolding. He couldn't keep his hands to himself, he had to feel you. He slid his hands up your shirt, running his fingers along your back. Being slightly ticklish, your body involuntarily twitched into him as you mewled against his lips. It was hard to contain himself as you moved around so sweetly on top of his raging hard cock. He brought his hands around to your front to play with your breasts. You weren't wearing a bra, and he could have came right then. He gave them a slow squeeze, and let out a shuddery breath.
"God, you're just as soft as I thought you'd be," he whimpered. Your face was beet red and you bit your lip as you looked down at him.
"So, you've thought of me often then?" You ask softly. He bucked his hips up into you.
"Wouldn't be so hard otherwise," he teased. He decided you needed to ditch the shirt and all but ripped it off of you. You cried out as his lips latched onto one of your nipples, rolling the other in his fingers. You ran your fingers through his hair and couldn't stop the praise flowing from your mouth.
"Oh good boy, Sebastian, don't stop, please," You threw your head back as he lightly bit your nipple. He would worship your breasts all night if you'd let him. He pulled his lips off your abused areola to kiss all over your chest, leaving bite marks and hickeys on his mouth's journey to your neglected tit. He snuck his free hand down your pants, almost growling as he felt the wet spot on your panties. He pulled them to the side and felt your slit up and down. He began to rub your clit in slow circles and matched the rhythm with his tongue on your nipple. You rocked against him unable to withstand the stimulation for very long, crying out as your climax violently shook through your whole body. Sebastian's fingers slowed in pace and he sucked on your breast as you came down from your high, panting as you leaned your whole body into him. He simply held you until your breathing slowed to normal.
"I have condoms at the farm. We can continue this later if you'd like," you whispered into his neck with a kiss. He practically pulled you onto the motorcycle after that.
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caufield193 · 1 month
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Just being honest here but I am trying so hard to not hate Judith… not because I hate her but because of all these yt feminist who only started liking her because RJ exist. It’s hilarious how they use her to hide their racism. Idk if it’s just me, but anytime someone says anything untrue but harmful about Rj, no one bats an eyelash… there are literal hashtags of people bullying the real kid but that’s okay. His Instagram is filled with folks calling him the N word.Yet the moment someone says something true about judith, who is FICTIONAL!!! NOT A REAL HUMAN BEING.( her not being ricks, and being the product of Shane ) man they get soooo upset… and we all know why!
Rick wanted RJ… this isn’t the same for Judith, but he learned to love her.
RJ is ricks legacy, and Judith is not. Yt feminist are accustomed to seeing themselves as wanted, as desired, and when a melanated little boy was desired and planned for, and not the child of a love affair between a white Baby mama and her baby daddy… their true colors show. Historically and stereotypically, a baby mama was a black woman begging to be free… except Michonne is so loved, and chosen, and declared to be the love of ricks life. So often, a black woman has a baby with no support, a baby by a different man, yet Rick truly wanted and planned for his little namesake. Michonne was content, Rick is the one who Wanted RJ. So when you have a flipped narrative where Lori, a white woman is the baby mama to Shane, bringing a white child to Rick that by yt feminist standards, Rick should want her and not have mixed feelings like we saw him have in the beginning, considering he couldn’t even look at Judith when she was first born. (considering that a normal human would have a hard time accepting a child that will forever remind you of how shitty your wife and best friend were) usually it would be a black child in Judith’s shoes, but it’s not. Rick has two kids, and the black one was wanted, planned for in a two parent and healthy home that wasn’t toxic, unlike Judith, who comes from a background usually associated with blackness
They use exscuses like, “ he’s not badass he doesn’t do anything like Carl .” But let’s be honest. RJ is 7… we’ve never seen Carl that young.. yet we’ve seen Judith at Carls age, and yet she hasn’t done anything remotely cool like Carl. So if anyone’s got plot armor it’s her… or they’ll say, RJ had awkward lines, when his made the most sense as he always considered his father the brave man. That is the only thing he knew him as.
Listen, I love how Michonne loves Judith because she truly adopted her, not because she had to but because she wanted to…. But I am so happy that Rick, a white man who married a black woman wants his biracial son, cared about his personality, and not just whether he was alive or not, because it really is making these dude bros upset… and yt feminist
It’s the fact that you can make fun of any child on the show, but god forbid you make fun of Judith or say something that’s the true, it’s the end of the world… a hit dog gonna holler
Have you ever noticed.. it’s okay to say RJ doesn’t deserve the hat… despite him being a grimes. It’s okay to say “RJ live execution.” It’s okay to say that RJ is lame and weak, despite him being 7. But if you point out that Rick has a hard time accepting Judith in the beginning, if you point out that he dreams of Carl and Michonne to stay alive at the CRM, but dreaming of Judith never even crossed him mind… if you point out that everytime Rick asked about Judith it was only to ensure that she was alive… which is on brand considering he told Michonne, “ I had to accept that… so I could keep her alive.” Not so he could love her or bond with her… if you point out all these little nuggets that shows that Rick, a fictional man, struggled to accept a fictional child that will forever carry the DNA of Shane and Lori… suddenly every yt feminist within two mile radius becomes triggered.. I’m just sick of it. Truly I hope there is a S2, where RJ is older and more marketed… purely just to piss certain people off.
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rentalboos · 2 months
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Watcher has lost almost 100 thousand subscribers
Hi babygirl, thank you for your 6 new messages, I love that you think my opinion is this important, though I genuinely don't quite get it. I'm not even a Watcher fanaccount, like, I have maybe two followers who even know the channel. What beef do you have with me lmao Since you're so interested in it though, I'm going to give it to you! FOR FREE! Since that's so important to you!
Here's the tldr: You're on anon sending hate, so you already know you're in the wrong and everyone else knows it too!
Great. Now that that's covered, here we GO! My precious opinion that you value so much! For free:
I'm sorry it offends you that I have the 5,99 to pay them and am doing it, but like. Do you do this with everyone? Do you go into people's DMs (no of course not, you only hate anonymously, wonder why that is!) to yell at them about subscribing to Twitch streams? Spotify? Youtube membership? Patreons?
What about this offends you so? That a bunch of youtubers had to make a tough choice between "we have to stop creating the art we want" and "we could try and keep creating the art we want, but we'll need to get paid for it" and chose to try and get paid for it? Is the offense, to you personally, that other people will still get to enjoy the content they like, opposed to absolutely no one getting to? It certainly can't be that you, personally, can't access their content anymore, because, quite frankly, I doubt you actually like it very much.
As for your five billion questions for why this makes you racist: You singling out Steven makes you racist. They founded this company together and they doubtlessly made this decision together and the narrative that is currently spun of "Shane (the white dude) would never, his evil non-white co-workers are forcing him to!" is .... extremely parasocial, and wildly random and coming out of nowhere.
Except for all the parts it's not, because of COURSE. Of course the evil guy and the guy who creates content "no one wants to fund" and who now everyone calls "boring" and who now has viral hate tweets saying he's "dragged Ryan and Shane down", is the asian guy who's pushed for diversity on the channel from the very start.
Like, he's well aware that his shows are the least popular. There's a reason for that, sweetie, and I promise you, it has to do with the fact that they've focused on diversity and quality rather than shittalking in front of a camera. And I'm not even a Steven girlie, I'm a Ghost Files ride or die, baby!
But this narrative that he's "homophobic and racist" because he said in a podcast once that he chooses to stay friends with people who sometimes sprout ignorant views, that's like- Get a fucking grip. I know y'all haven't reached adult life yet, it is painfully apparent, but there comes a time in life where you'll have to realize that sometimes the people around you aren't as socially aware or educated as you, but in their nature good eggs, and you can, of course, choose to drop their asses, if you don't happen to be otherwise connected to them in an adult environment, where jobs and friend groups often overlap or they're part of your family or family's circle, but the far, far better choice is to be their friend and educate them. Because that's the best way the ignorant views become less ignorant. That's literally what he's been saying in that podcast ep, by the way. I don't need to "google" that and I don't need your twitter links, I was there when that episode dropped. I listened to it as I did the dishes. I was applauding Steven for putting in the time and effort and energy to DO that with people, because I oftentimes find myself too scared to have the conversations he is having.
Watcher has donated to queer charities. They sell queer merch. They have queer employees. Their fanbase is mainly queer. He's not homophobic, y'all are insane. If any of that would go against his values, he'd a) not be in a company with Ryan and Shane, because they wouldn't be having it and b) wouldn't stand up for, employ and cater to queer people. He'd be out with the homophobes, telling us how Jesus died for our sins or whatever.
He's also not racist which- duh. Before I even knew Steven Lim, I already knew this is something he is incredibly(!) sensitive about, he literally hates racism (And I don't know if you noticed. But he's very often the target of it, you absolute bufoon) and specifically went into Watcher to be able to help marginalized voices have a platform. That was his goal for Watcher that he couldn't properly fulfil in Buzzfeed. I know that. Because I was there from the start and actually listened to them talk. And it was stated and proven many, many times.
Y'all so eager to jump on a hate train and take shit out of context, it's pathetic. And "homophobic" good God, he had a book on his bookshelf. Wow. I have Harry Potter in three different editions on my bookshelf, I've learned reading with them. They have tear stains on the pages where Dumbledore died. You're gonna say I'm a transphobe if you see them in a photo? Gonna go ahead and call me, a trans guy, a transphobe now? Knock yourself out. Because I'll care about that about as much as I care about how many angry little kids are unsubscribing from Watcher rn: Not even a little bit.
You're whining like little bitches in random fan's inboxes, are throwing insults, false accusations and racism around to stirr the pot, you're coming for Steven as if Ryan and Shane aren't literally HORRIFIED by y'all doing this in their name to someone who's their close friend. As if Watcher would even exist without him, when he saved it from going bankrupt in their first year, when Ryan and Shane couldn't be arsed to step up and figure out how to run a company.
You weren't paying them anyway. I'm subscribed to their Patreon at the highest tier, because I know good art doesn't come free and I knew they were gonna struggle on Youtube views alone and I enjoy their content and want to help them keep making it. I don't expect anyone to be able to do that - And they don't either. They also don't expect everyone to pay or be able to pay for their streaming services. They're currently working on responding to the feedback and make things more accessible. They certainly didn't handle this perfectly and they certainly didn't want to make this choice if they had another one. Neither of the three.
You won't pay for it. That's fine. That's literally all there is to it. There's no need to sling this shit around, but you're doing it anyway. Not because you care, but because you're having fun with it. Well, go ahead. The more hate you send, the more I know I'm standing up for the right people.
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deansapplepie · 7 months
Text
Till THE DEAD do us part |Chapter 14
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A/N: This story will take place in all the seasons, but it’s not exactly a rewriting cause I’d have to re-watch everything to use the exactly lines of the characters, also I think it’s better if I tell a side story without changing the main facts of the story. This story has a Female Reader, but I don’t describe her appearance, so anyone can identify with her.
Chapter 13 Chapter 15
Series Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Chapter 14: We’ll not lose each other
Summary: The group buries Dale and decide to honor his memory. The day that they would fulfill his wishes, chaos ensues and the day ends in fire, growls, screams and gun shots.
Warning; inner swearing, little angsty, mentions of violence, mentions of death, walkers are killed, grief, forgiveness. Minors do not interact.
Paining; Daryl Dixon x Grimes!Reader (Rick’s Sister)
Word Count: 2,151
Extra notes: I proofread the text, but English is not my first language, so feel free to correct any mistakes, of course with love. In this chapter we finish Season 2, I’d like to have written more about the final part, but honestly I thought it wouldn’t have anything that would make a difference in the story. Before the 8 months jump, I’m going to make some extra stories about them on the road.
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The day wasn’t cloudy, but you felt just like it was. Everybody were silent, just talking when it was necessary. You did a funeral for Dale, everyone that wanted said a word about him. Rick decided to do things like Dale wanted and prove that you could be humans. When it all ended, you decided to talk to Andrea. You stopped her gave her a hug. “I’m sorry.” You said.
“For Dale or punching my face?” She asked a bitter smile on her face.
“Dale, and I have lost my temper very easily with you.” You broke the embrace, still holding her forearms. “The punches you deserved.”
“I’ve been reckless too, stubborn… trying to hurt others, just because I’m hurt.” She confessed. “I’m sorry.”
“Dale was important to everyone, but I know he had a special spot for you and Glenn. If you need anything, you can count on me, ok?” You hugged her one last time before each of you go your own ways. You were still upset at Andrea, but you realized you cared a lot for the people of the group and life was short. You’d hate if something happened to Andrea and you weren’t good.
Following this line of thought, you should also talk to Shane, but there was a whole different situation. You had already talked to him before and nothing worked, also after it he had hurt your blood brother, wanted his life for him… it, you couldn’t forgive. Not now, and you didn’t know if one day you’d be able to.
Hershel decided it’d be better if all of you moved to the house. He thought that more walkers would come because of the animals, also it was starting to get cold. You started to disassemble everything and bring what you needed to the house. As everything was kind of settled everyone started to do their chores around the house and organize all that needed to be organized.
Rick and Daryl were on the porch planning to take Randall to a town and leave him there. You wanted to go with them, but you couldn’t, they needed you around the house. Also, you knew they wouldn’t let you if you asked.
A long time had passed when Rick and Daryl decided it was time for them to take Randall to this other city and let him there. Rick asked T. to pick Randall so they could go, but T. came back worried saying that the guy wasn’t there. Holy Shit. All of you ran to the small room where he was locked, T. explained it was locked, no one forced it. It was very strange. Soon Shane came from the woods, blood and bruises on his face. Telling a story that Randall escaped the cuffs and forced him into the woods.
“It looks like not only you can’t identify vital signs, you also can’t fight against a slender boy like him. You’re not the same anymore Shane… thank God the world ended, or you’d have to retire.” You couldn’t hold your tongue inside your mouth and had to speak, because impossible nobody thought the same.
“I was taken by surprise, I wasn’t expecting.” He said and you tried really hard not to roll your eyes.
It was decided Rick, Shane, Glenn and Daryl would go in the woods to look for Randal, before they went you pulled Daryl aside. “Be careful, I don’t trust him. Everything he said, screams bullshit for me.”
“I know. I didn’t buy it too.” He said and he didn’t know what to do in the moment so he gave a little squeeze in your arm before entering the woods with Rick, Shane and Glenn.
It got dark very fast, and you couldn’t help the unease feeling while they didn’t come back. You stayed on the porch looking at distance for any sign of them. Soon Maggie joined you, nervous , fidgeting by your side.
“They’ll be ok.” You said, you didn’t know if it was for Maggie or for you. “Glenn and Daryl are badasses, Rick is a survivor, he survived when he wouldn’t. They’ll come back.” You side hugged her and she held your hand.
After some time Daryl and Glenn came back, you got inside the house with them, everyone waiting to know something.
“Are you ok?” You asked looking Daryl for any bruises, cuts, god forbidden bites and scratches. He had nothing.
“ ‘m good.” He looked at you, a little anxious to deliver the news.
“Where’s Rick?” You asked, worried.
“We thought he and Shane had come back.” Fuck. Did they separate? No.
They explained they found Randall, turned, and on top of that he wasn’t bitten. He had his neck broken. Shane. You knew it. But it didn’t answer why the boy turned if he wasn’t bitten.
You headed outside, you’d go with Daryl to find them. Worry consuming you. But when you got outside you saw something terrifying, a gigantic herd of walkers. You all started getting guns and setting plans to try ending with them, but you knew it was impossible, you’d need to fight them just so you could escape. You took one of the bigger guns and stood besides Hershel trying to protect the house and the ones that were still there.
Daryl jumped on his bike, Jimmy took the RV and together they tried to attract the herd to a place far from the house, Maggie and Glenn took a car to do the same while he shoot from the window and T. and Andrea took the truck, Andrea responsible of shooting the walkers.
The barn was on fire and you didn’t know who did this but you prayed it was Rick and not Shane, or both of them… but by all that happened you were afraid it would be only one of them. Everybody was running and fighting to get from the walkers and go to a safe place. Lori shouted for you and Hershel, but Hershel ignored. So you decided to stay there with him the maximum that you could, and try to convince him.
“Hershel, we need to go. There’s no way.” You tried reasoning with him while fighting the walkers.
“I’m not going. I’ll die protecting this land.” He stubbornly affirmed one more time.
“Don’t you think about Maggie and Beth? They need their Dad.” A walker fell in front of you as you shoot it.
“You can go.” He said one more time.
“I’m not going without you.” You said, and you didn’t want to, but it made you remind of what Dale did for Andrea.
Hershel’s ammo ends and he was going to reload his gun, there were too many walkers and you couldn’t cover him, when a Walker was too close and would bite him, Rick showed up and killed it. You pleaded Hershel to go with you, but it took Rick to convince him to go. You went to the car and you were relieved to see Carl, but… you thought Luna was with Carl. You couldn’t leave without her.
“Where’s Luna?” You asked before entering the car.
“She was with us, but she ran. I have no idea where she’s” Rick said, door open, waiting for you to go in.
“I’m not going without her.” You said turning to leave and go after her, but Rick was faster. He took you by your waist and pushed you inside the car, put the car lock and closed the door.
You tried opening the door, but it wouldn’t open. The fucker had locked it. Before you could go for the door on Carl’s side he started the car and left the farm. “No! Why Rick? Why?” You cried.
“I told you we wouldn’t lose each other, we’d not separate. I’m not letting you lose your life because of a dog.” He said, eyes on the road, hands firmly gripping the wheel. Carl hugged you and you hugged him back.
“It’s not a dog, it’s Luna. She’s my life.” You said turning your look for the window and crying all you could, trying to remain silent. Luna were with you in your worst, she was the one that made you smile again. A gift from your brothers and now, she was gone… lord knows where. You didn’t know if she was even alive. It wasn’t your fault, but you felt as if you were abandoning her.
“Maybe someone got her. We don’t know. You could stay and never find her. Let’s go to our meeting point in the highway. I’m pretty sure the others are going there too. It’s the only place all of us know.” Rick looked at you on the rearview mirror, he felt your pain, but he couldn’t go soft on you, he couldn’t have let you risk your life like that.
The rest of the drive was silent. The sun rose and you arrived at the spot where you left the sign for Sophia. She never got to find it.
All of you got off from the car. Hershel talked with Rick about he taking Carl and leaving to protect the kid. While that you followed Carl around, telling him to stay close. After some time, Rick talked about leaving, but before he could take any action, Glenn and Maggie arrived in a car, they got off and came to meet you. No Luna. The truck arrived with T., Lori and Beth. Again, no Luna. They were your last hope, It left Andrea, Carol and Daryl. You didn’t see Andrea and Carol around in the last minutes, so you didn’t know if they made it. Daryl wouldn’t bring her in a bike. Daryl, where was Daryl?
Some time after, Daryl arrived on his bike with Carol. You felt relieved to see them, especially Daryl. He stopped the bike close, Carol got off of it, Rick approached Daryl to greet him, he was happy to see he made it. Daryl got off the bike and you didn’t waste any second and hugged him. He didn’t waste any second to hug you back, damn the fear of being judged about PDA, you just survived a hoard of Walkers. He was relieved.
Nobody saw Andrea, Daryl wanted to go back for her, but Rick didn’t allowed he said it was too late to find her. The group decided to continue their way on the road. Daryl saw on your face that you had cried, but he decided not ask about it. He didn’t see Luna around, but he thought it’d be better if he didn’t ask anything in the moment. “Are ya comin’ with me?” He asked.
“Yes, of course.” You answered and as soon as the group parted from the highway you were on Daryl’s bike holding onto him and resting you head on his back. ‘And to think that last time we were leaving he made some excuse to not take me.’ You thought and also felt that there wasn’t anything more comfortable than being with him.
BONUS SCENE:
Andrea was left alone, everyone had taken the cars and she had no way out of the farm. She tried calling for Rick to wait for her, but she wasn’t heard. Her only option was to flee from the farm by herself. She took the guns bag from the ground, at least she was armed and could defend herself she moved in the woods trying to go opposite from where the walkers were going, even though she knew she would find walkers eventually, but she hoped not so many.
Deep in the forest she heard a bark and when she looked she saw a german shepherd, the dog from her mate from her group. The dog was barking at a walker, keeping distance but ready to attack. Andrea took a gun and shoot on the walkers head, making it fall motionless to the ground.
“I see you were also left behind.” She said getting closer to the dog and petting her. “I think it’s just you and me now girl.”
The dog was happy to see the face of a friend after seeing so many ugly faces of the walkers, she bumped her cold nose on the human hand to show her appreciation while swinging her tail.
“Come on, Luna. Let’s get out of here.” She said continuing her way into the woods trying to survive and who knows maybe re-encounter her group again.
Wanna be add to my tag list? Let me know. (Please tell me if you want to be tagged on everything or just specific series)
Everything Taglist: @lilyevanstan1325
Till THE DEAD do us part Taglist: @sunnybunnyy2 @royaltysuite @isakyakiisak @milopenne @murdadixon
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junicult · 11 months
Note
the bachelors and their thoughts on tattoos and piercings?? and if they have any/want any
!! the bachelors & tattoos / piercings
contains ; talk of piercings / tattoos. farmer has piercings tattoos (not specified). sfw. one minor nsfw comment in shanes (i seriously can’t help myself).
note ; i made this super quickly in literally like 10 mins😭
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harvey
- he doesn’t have either.
- and he doesn’t plan on ever getting them.
- i don’t think he necessarily hates them, (on other people at least) but it’s not something he personally seeks out. like, if you just so happen to have tattoos or piercings, he doesn’t care.
- …he might be the type that doesn’t really like extensive amounts of facial piercings, tho.
- at least, if he met you and you already had those piercings, he might not want to seek a further relationship.
- if you’re already together, and extremely committed, you wanting piercings or tattoos wouldn’t change how he loves you.
- if he did have any piercings, they’d probably just be his ears. but i can’t even picture him getting any.
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sam.
- LMFAO i just know he’s the person that doesn’t have any tattoos, but he constantly talks about all the tattoo’s he wants to get. (me)
- piercings, however, are a different story🤭
- he started off simple by getting his earlobe pierced for sure. definitely thought it was very “rockstar” to have.
- overtime he got a few more, (all of which taken place in sebastian’s basement), such as an upper lobe & orbital.
- and he definitely has an industrial. ik it.
- it’s probably healed too which is crazy.
- also, i think it’d be cute for him to just have a dainty little hoop on his nostril.
- when it comes to his partner, he couldn’t care less if they have any piercings / tattoos or not.
- butttt he thinks they’re so attractive. piercings especially.
- lip piercings if we’re being even more specific. ik that if u had snake bites, or an ashley piercing…phew.
- it just gives him an excuse to stare at ur lips lol.
- i feel like he would want to have his nipples pierced, but he’d never go through with it.
- same reason why he doesn’t have any tattoos.
- in general, because he skateboards and stuff, i feel like he’s immune to scratches and scrapes.
- he was also definitely the kind of kid that always had his arm in a cast or something.
- but i’ll still die on this hill: he has a low pain tolerance.
- sebastian can attest to it.
- mf is constantly squirming each time the needle even approaches his skin.
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shane.
- he’s more of a tattoo kind of person then piercings.
- is it safe to say i think the majority of his are from when he was drunk😭?
- his pain tolerance is fairly high. he’s got a couple tattoo’s, that’s for sure.
- one on his arm of something gridball related to reminisce back on those days, and one on his back or maybe chest.
- of what? he doesn’t even know.
- as for piercings, definitely his regular & upper earlobes. he never changes the jewelry, it’ll always be that.
- i feel like he also has a daith just bc he heard it helps w migraines 😭
- but he is totally attracted to piercings.
- have any kind of facial piercings you want, he doesn’t care.
- but he’s an absolute sucker for body piercings, whether you have them or not.
- if u have ur belly button pierced, or even…u know…ur nipples dare i say; lord😭😭
- if ur dating, believe me he’s not ignoring those.
- when he sees u naked for the first time, or for the first time after u got those pierced—he’d be such a little asshole.
- “oh, these are nice.” he just raises his eyebrows, smirking down. “they healed?”
- if they are then…well. you already know.
- also he’s a sucker for a tramp stamp😭
- those were so popular in the 90s ik he’d lose his mind if u had one.
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sebastian.
- pelican town’s unofficial piercer.
- lord.
- aside from multiple stick and pokes when he was in his teens, he doesn’t have any tattoos.
- they’re all definitely of things he looks back on and physically cringes. he doesn’t even tell people he has them, (besides sam & abby who were around when he was in that phase)
- the only reason you’d find out about them is if you saw them and asked him about it.
- as for piercings, he’s decked out.
- i’m talking lobes, orbital, helix, industrial, daith, conch. his ears are HEAVY.
- his eyebrow, nose, and lip is pierced too.
- his eyebrow might be one of his favs, and i also wholeheartedly believe that was his first ever piercing on himself when he was like 16. he stuck with it since.
- he also just has a nostril hoop. it’s black ofc.
- and…his lip piercing…
- a vertical labret 🤭🤭🤭.
- & u can disagree with me on this, but i’d like to think all of his piercings are properly cared for, cleaned, and healed. he’s not wasting any time caring for an infection.
- i also wanna say he has a few that he’s taken out as he’s gotten older.
- like his bridge piercing. he had it for a couple years before he decided to take it out, so he has a little scar there.
- i feel like abby has snake bites, which convinced him to get snake bites at one point. but when he got his labret, he took those out.
- lastly, i definitely think he had a septum at one point, but pretty quickly he realized it just didn’t suit him so he took it out.
- as for his partner, if you had any piercings—he doesn’t care. why would he?
- he’s incredibly impartial. whether you have them or don’t.
- but let me tell you…if you don’t have any, he’ll gladly change that if you ever asked😇😇
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alex.
- he has none.
- zilch. zero.
- he’s not the biggest fan of a ton of piercings. unfortunately i feel like he was raised in that kind of household, so he was conditioned to feel the same way (we’ve all met george).
- like, if you have ur ears pierced or maybe one little face piercing, i don’t think he’d mind that much.
- it definitely depends on how much he likes you.
- if he met you while you had face piercings, he’d probably judge you by cover.
- but if you slowly got them after you’ve been dating a while, i feel like that’s when he’s realize how attractive they can be.
- if you got your lip pierced, and he got to see how plump your lips get from swelling—that might drive him crazy.
- everytime he leans in for a kiss you’d have to pull away, tutting, “ah-ah, no kissing.”
- it’s like ur torturing him.
- and if you ever convinced him to get a piercing, he’d only allow his ears.
- for tattoos, i think it’d be so sweet to imagine him wanting one that linked to his mom.
- like something she’s said before, a nickname she gave him, maybe even if she had a tattoo he’d get the same one.
- because he’s not that emotionally available, he never told anyone.
- not until u asked, and since he’s trusts you more then anyone, he doesn’t mind being vulnerable to you.
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elliot.
- he has both.
- but his are just so beautiful that you’d literally see them on pinterest, y’know?
- he’s so tasteful with his piercings and tattoos.
- he’s a patchwork fan. like small separate tattoos on his arms and torso.
- each of which have meaning to him in someway.
- and his piercings are soo small and dainty. (GOLD TOO. he’s strictly gold.)
- he has a little stud on his nostril, and his ears are similar to sebastian’s.
- but he’s much more organized then anyone else. his piercings all took place over time, and they’re all matched. he’s a strict gold jewelry person.
- it just makes him look so clean and put together.
- when it comes to you, he in general doesn’t care whether you have them or not.
- physical attraction isn’t the biggest deal to him. so what if you do / don’t have piercings.
- but he can definitely appreciate if you’re just as dedicated to your jewelry / tattoos as he is.
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533 notes · View notes
saltygilmores · 3 months
Text
DANCE MARATHON EPISODE (AKA MURDER ON THE DANCE FLOOR)-PART 5
After a quick blowjob break out in the soon-to-be-bloodspattered Stars Hollow High football field, a certain homocidal maniac in a puke green church donation bin coat has returned, and he's ready to dish out some sass. Shane is not in tow yet, but we need to give her time to freshen up and make herself presentable for the remaining few hours of her life.
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Lane's pointless bitterness towards Jess is such a fucking waste. My "Lane hates Jess for stupid reasons when they could have been pals" rant has been reheated in the metaphorical microwave too many times already, so I won't repeat myself, but yeah. It's still about that fucking car accident.
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Getting your dick sucked on the high school football field before committing a gruesome homocide can really work up a boy's appetite.
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Baby you're such a good noticer. *kisses forehead*
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I can't think of anyone more deserving of a rock hard permanent public erection. Wait And now, for what is possibly my favorite five-word exchange in the entire series:
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The most perfectly executed dry delivery. Ugh! Sheer perfection!
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Well, at least egg salad sandwiches beat the Crack and Despair Sandwiches Liz used to pack in his lunchbox.
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Miss "My Virginity Spared Me From Becoming Football Field Fertilizer" has arrived with Also-Not-Dancing Butthead in tow. If the food is for the dancers, I better not see him eat anything. I will smack that sandwich out of his hand so fast so help me god (virgins always survive the killing spree).
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You ever think about what a monstrous hell it must be for Jess living in a place like Stars Hollow? I think about this a lot. But I like to think that off screen he gets in his car and gets the fuck out of there as much as possible. Anyway, this is another perfectly dry one liner that I absolutely love. I want to fil out adoption papers and take all of his sarcastic one liners from this episode home from the shelter. R: You have nothing better to do than sit in a gymnasum staring at a dance marathon? J:Idk, do you have nothing better to do than sit inside a gymnasium staring at a dance marathon? R:Do you think you're bugging me sitting in front of me and staring like that? J: Do you think you're bugging me dancing and staring at me like that? R: I'm not staring at you! J:How do you know I'm staring at you?
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Dean: It's been two years. Maybe you can glance at my dick for once, Rory. Has Rory ever said anything supportive of Dean that wasn't said with the same conviction as if she were a bank robbery hostage? Deany has that constipated look on his face again. Is he sad because no one was staring at him? But someone was. I'll give you a hint, it's a certain MILF who wants to turn that 34 into a 69. Lorelai is 34 years old in this episode, by the way. He's proudly displaying his love of young milfs on his literal sleeve. Listen, you could power Stars Hollow with the combined sexual frustration of these three people + Lane and Dave Ryglaski to make it extra nuclear. When nobody puts out, you get three teenagers eating egg salad and having an "I'm not staring at you!" argument in a school gymansium at 10pm.
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Ooooh. Jess is shakin in his little murder boots. J: I'm supporting my town. R: Go back to New York. Oh Rory babe, if only he could, he'd be home now with a smile on his face with a pushcart hot dog in one hand while some easy alt chick rode his dick. Well, yeah he's got that now but he's going to feed her to the swans then take an 8 month vow of celibacy for some reason.
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Got em.
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He's so LAME. Jared: Hey AmyShermanPalladino, can't Dean get any fun comebacks for once? Why does Milo get all the good sass? AmyShermanPalladino: You can pick from the reject pile. We've got "my former comment still stands" "Are you trying to act tough, you're wearing a tie" and "You're the one who's going"
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She's so horny. God help her.
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Shane Campbell stars in the newest WB Network vehicle, "My Favorite Murder Victim." He keeps picking at that sandwich like he's going to find a $100 bill in the bread.
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You want this poor girl to spend the last precious hours of her life doing math problems?
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I guess egg salad will wash the taste of dick out of her mouth.
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We heard you the first time, Ice Vagina. What is Dean even doing here, lol.
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There's something incredibly erotic about this line.
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Dean is like, what the hell is going on? Why is she touching me?
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*immediately pushes her off*
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Don't give him any more ideas, Jess.
I just want to point out that on the table behind them, fresh fruit and brownies are available for consumption. You know you guys don't have to eat those sandwiches.
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Code for "I'm gonna go find the murder implement I stowed away in the bushes earlier"
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yeehawbvby · 5 months
Text
Falling Away With You | Ch. 48
Sebastian x F!Reader and M. Rasmodius x F!Reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit
Chapter Summary: Y/n goes a little apeshit at JojaMart lmao
Author’s Note: *Crawls out of a pit covered in dirt and blood. Slaps this chapter down in front of you, on a SUNDAY no less!*
My health situation hasn’t improved whatsoever, but I will prevail, damnit!!
I wrote most of this and posted to ao3 early this morning, and haven't had a chance to proofread really. I'll do my best to get that done soon ^.^ Sorry if there are any weird wordings. Also sorry for the complete lack of Seb and Magnus in this one, I hope the shenanigans make up for it <3
Table of Contents + Work Summary
Check it out on ao3!
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I hate that stupid, cryptic, blue note I got.
Ever since it came, I think about it every time I check the mailbox, without fail. I don’t want to, I kinda just want to forget it exists, but I just… I dunno. I have a bad feeling about it. A gut feeling. Like, something’s totally up with it. It’s just been sitting in my closet for safekeeping until I decide what to do, though.
For some reason, I’ve been too nervous to bring it back up to Magnus. He’s forgotten it exists, from what I can tell. I think I’ll do my best to keep it that way for now. It feels more like my burden to bear than his, and besides, he’s already got the whole region to take care of.
After today’s confirmation that I don’t have bills or anything important like that, I head inside to get ready to leave the farm. Reeeally hoping my routine will shake out my heebiejeebies.
I got the OK from Magnus to use his fancy shrine for Spirit’s Eve. Got an idea of what I think I want to make myself look like, too. Maybe a tiefling or something. If tieflings don’t really exist, I’m sure some sort of succubi, or imps, or some sort of creature that looks like one’s gotta, no? I suppose I could always fall back on just pretending I’m an elf… man, a tail and horns would be so fun though. 
Either way, tomorrow is the big day and I am so ready for it.
I mean, like, almost ready. Whatever.
Today I’m going to Magnus’ place to get some practice in. Just a precautionary measure to try not to, like, blow myself up or something.
I’m gonna keep my outfit cozy and easy to move around in, but I have half a mind to make sure I wouldn’t mind losing these clothes in particular if something goes wrong with the transformation. Just some leggings, some crew-cut socks, an old hoodie, and my favorite boots, since I won’t have my shoes on in the shrine anyway. All of it is in black. Sebastian cosplay. 
I’ll pop my red studs in too, gotta commit to the bit. I haven’t had time to talk to The Emo and see if he actually did get his shit pierced last night, but assuming he did, and assuming he was able to use these for it, I wanna go all out, baby.
Now, before I head to the tower, I’ve got some errands to run around town. I woke up a bit late so there’s gonna be more people out than I’m looking forward to, but hopefully I have no creepy Alex encounters or awkward conversations with Shane again.
I promised Sam I’d visit him at work sometime soon, so I might as well head there first. He hates it there, and it’s been a while since we’ve caught up, so I’ll hopefully be a welcome distraction. I’ll bring him a coffee too to keep his spirits high.
After it’s done brewing, I grab two foam cups and pour the coffee in. Knowing Sam, he probably needs this stuff sweet, and I’m in the mood for sweet too, so I pour in a bunch of vanilla-flavored creamer. To make the beverages ~gourmet,~ I add a little whipped cream to each, as well as a light drizzle of chocolate syrup. After securing the plastic lids and giving Cannoli some well-deserved love, I head out.
While I pass by the bus stop, I make eye contact with Pam. I’ve never spoken to her, but… I dunno. I can’t tell if I like her or not. She gives me a nasty stink eye and I can only further assume she’s as mean as she outwardly appears. Unless she was just cursed with an intense resting bitch face...
I smile Pam’s way anyway. She doesn’t smile back, but that’s okay. It doesn’t benefit anyone to be so judgemental of her.
I pass a few local moms once I make it to the town square. None really mind me, which could mean they either didn’t notice, or they don’t care. Either is fine by me. I don’t hear what they’re saying, but Caroline talks very animatedly just before the rest of the group bursts into laughter.
I turn my attention back ahead as I pass by Pierre’s and nearly bump into Marnie as she’s leaving the shop.
We both squeak out a little “Oh!” before apologizing in unison.
“I wasn’t really paying attention,” I double down. 
“Oh, that’s fine. I rarely ever am!” She then motions to the two cups in my hands and adds, laughing, “At least the coffee’s safe!”
I awkwardly nod in agreement. Then, a brief flash of myself actually spilling coffee somewhere down the road raids my mind, my necklace tingling against my skin and my fingers practically buzzing.
Great.
“Everything alright, sweetie?”
That probably looked weird. “Yeah, sorry,” I try to recover, “just sleepy today!”
I take a sip of coffee to emphasize my point. Plus, I might as well drink what I can before these puppies go down. Hopefully I’ll be able to save at least one of them when the time comes.
“Aw, I’m sorry to hear that!” She puts a gentle hand on my shoulder. “I need to get back to the shop, but take it easy and don’t overwork yourself, you hear?” 
I nod, thanking her and waving her off with a shy grin before I continue moving. Once I get closer to the spot I’m supposed to be spilling these drinks — just before that little bridge over the river by JojaMart — I begin to walk more cautiously. If I can just keep these steady and focus on the ground… 
A sneeze creeps up on me. Oh god. Oh god oh fuck oh no.
Just as I’m beginning to carefully place one of the cups on the side of the bridge for safe keeping, the sneeze forces its way out of me. Luckily, one beverage — the one I hadn’t drank from yet — stays safely in my hand. Unluckily, the one I was working on trying to keep safe fell to the stones at my feet, opening up and dispersing its contents fucking everywhere.
God damnit. 
“Nice one.”
God fucking damnit.
I look up to the voice. It turns out Shane’s outside having a smoke. He’s at the opposite end of the bridge watching my clumsiness unfold with an aloof look about him. He’s bent over to lean on the stone wall, his right elbow propped up and his corresponding cheek in his palm. His left forearm is flat against the structure while his left hand lazily dangles his cigarette between two fingers.
Is that pink nail polish on one of them? I wonder if that’s Jas’ doing. 
I merely groan back my response, picking up the now-empty cup to discard in the trash bin near the store. As I proceed on my walk of shame past Shane, I point out, “At least my clothes stayed safe.”
Shane follows and asks, “How many ants do you think you murdered with that accident?” 
I grin a little at his dry humor. “Oh it was a massacre,” I bounce back. “The war in Gotoro pales in comparison.”
“Ha!” Oh my god, I made Shane — the grumpiest fuck I’ve ever met — laugh?! “Right on. Seems like pointless violence anyway.” 
I turn to see if I can catch him smiling for the first time, like, ever. It’s not there anymore, but there’s a residual brightness in his features.
Shane snuffs out his cig on the ashtray built into the garbage’s lid, abandoning it there before shoving his hands in the pockets of his bright blue shorts.
“Those sons’a bitches,” he nods in the direction of my carnage, “they had it coming.”
My nose scrunches as I laugh a little, giving him a funny look. “Damn, what’d they do to you?”
There’s a playful glint in his eye, as he deadpans me. “Exist.”
I shrug and nod — I get it, they can be pretty annoying! — and follow the man as he makes his way through the white-rimmed, glass-centered automatic doors. I try not to cringe outwardly at how many self-righteous pro-Joja fliers are on them.
Shane stops a few steps into the store. Turns around. I stop too and look up, tilting my head. What’re you looking at, punk? I think to myself. Dunno if I’d be pushing my limits by trying to say it out loud. Better not.
Shane gives me a weird look too, but I can barely see it. My senses are taking their damn time getting used to the obnoxiously fluorescent lighting.
“Don’t you shop at Pierre’s?” Shane wonders out loud.
I blink a few times as I adjust to the environment and then nod. “Visiting Sam,” I explain.
“Ah.” He nods too, in understanding, and then looking the other way he continues, “Enjoy.”
Shane makes his way towards a door to the right of the manager’s office. Says “Employee’s only,” so I’m assuming it’s a break room or something. I don’t miss the incorrect apostrophe, but choose not to linger on it either.
“You too.” He looks back over his shoulder, so I pair my well wishes with a lazy salute.
“Buh.”
…Buh?
I smile. I think he’s warming up to me!
Feeling a tad lost now that I’m alone, I look around before making any advances. Should’ve asked Shane if he knew where Sam would be around now. I dunno how the shifts work around here.
The cashiers to my left — a visibly exhausted red headed woman, probably in her late 30s or early 40s; and a scrawny, scruffy looking teenager, with thick-framed glasses sitting atop his freckled nose — both look miserable.
The boy is boredly leaning against the counter, zoned out on the ground in front of it. The woman looks totally spaced out on nothing in particular. It almost seems like she’s fighting off sleep, too. Poor lady. 
The woman and I lock onto each other. She looks away from my face before I can even register it, but I notice her eyes flicker longingly to the coffee cup in my hand a few times after the fact. I peer between her and the beverage twice before I all but scurry away into the aisles. I’m too awkward for this. My only option is to retreat. Never said I wasn’t a coward.
While I venture past the boatloads of boxed, bagged and canned foods in search of the resident dog boy, I observe some of the products. Some don’t look safe for consumption, while others seem like they’d be fun to try as a one-off sort of deal. It overlaps a few times as well. I mean, why wouldn’t I want to try this cereal which very explicitly states on the box that it’s more sugar than grains? It makes me stifle a giggle. I like the brutal honesty. 
I stop and stare at it for a sec. Gnawing my lip. Wondering if I should just��
No. I shan’t.
I break away from temptation and trek on. As I reach the end of the aisle, I pan across the back of the store. More shelf-stable products, a small produce section… ah!
Sam looks like he’s supposed to be mopping the floor near the freezers. To be fair, he is holding a mop, and it is touching the floor! But instead of cleaning, he uses the tool as a microphone; singing against the end of the brown wooden handle, both hands passionately gripping it as he bends his torso to quietly belt one part in particular. Sam’s eyes are shut, his bulky black headphones are secured over his ears, and he has not a single worry in the world. 
Holding his coffee in both hands now, I stop walking and lean against a nearby shelf. Observing. Waiting. Eventually he’ll have to see me.
He does a little spin move and carelessly bumps into the bucket of soapy water he’s working with, causing it to slosh around a little. Some of it lands on the floor, and some on the pants of Sam’s jumpsuit. Doesn’t faze him in the slightest. 
He does another spin the opposite way and nearly knocks over the conveniently placed display of sprinkles that are situated right in front of the ice cream freezer.
I feel like I should probably stop him before something bad happens, but he looks so damn content and so stinkin’ cute that I can’t be assed. 
Just as I’m thinking this, he opens his eyes, completely avoiding my direction while he immediately peers over his shoulder. Sam scans around, getting a full view of the proximate areas. It seems like he’s just making sure he’s not about to get caught by his boss or something, if I had to guess.
Eventually he lands on me. We both smile wide, and I triumphantly hold up his (unspilled!!) coffee in one hand, presenting it with a small flourish of the other and a bow of my head.
“For you, my good sir.” I make sure to sound extra fancy, dropping my voice an octave and annunciating my words a bit too much.
He looks around again before meeting me in the middle with a fist bump, completely ignoring my bit. Aw man.
“Hell yeah, thanks dude!” 
I shoot some awkward finger guns at him, “You got it, bud.”
“You didn’t make yourself one?”
I sigh, lamenting, “I did…”
Sam scans my face as we share a short silence. Then, the lightbulb almost visibly goes off in his noggin. “You spilled it, didn’t you?”
Pursing my lips, I nod. “I spilled it, yeah.” 
“Buuummer, dude.” He pats my head and I sigh, leaning into his touch. I’ll be damned if I don’t still love head-pats, even if it’s been a while since I’ve gotten one. “Wanna split this one then?” he offers, palm still on my crown. At this point he’s just trying to messy me up.
“No thanks, I’ll just grab another later if I’m really craving it.” Not having noticed the trance I’ve been in as my hair gets slowly and steadily ruined — it feels nice, okay? — I finally look up at him, cheekily glaring as I manually remove his large hand from me. I add on as I try to repair the frizzy aftermath, “Sick performance, by the way!” 
“You think so?” he beams. Makes me laugh.
“Of course! It looked like you were having a lot of fun.”
Sam’s face is a bit flushed as he takes the compliment, not even trying to hide it; he has a big goofy grin on his face, too.
It drops and Sam looks behind him as a deep voice with a bit of a southern twang booms from one of the aisles nearby. “Samson?”
“Shit, here.”
Sam hurriedly places his coffee into my hand and rushes back near his water bucket, looking around for his manager as he moves. I try to make things less suspicious by pretending to look at some nearby end caps. 
I take a peek over when I hear Sam greet the man, “Hiya! What’s up, Morris?”
Crossing his arms and puffing out his chest to try and make himself look mighty, a man in a navy blue suit, a bright red bow tie, and a poorly-applied black toupee corrects him. “That’s Mr. Saxton, son.” 
I roll my eyes. Awesome to know the guy running this Joja is just as insufferable as the dudes who work on the corporate side.
Sam puts an anxious hand on the back of his neck, and halfheartedly smiles as he apologizes, his speaking patterns much more formal than before. Poor guy… it hurts to see him having to tone it down so much for this dipshit.
I turn my attention back in front of me so as to give him some privacy. Not sure he’d want me to hear him getting his ear talked off.
This display is full of holiday cards... I might as well waste some time with these bad boys. I pick up one with a cartoon beagle wearing a birthday hat on it, stealing a sip of Sam’s coffee as I read the pun on the front: “Have a doggone good birthday!” Alright, nice and cheesy start…
I flip the card open. It starts blaring Baha Men’s “Who Let The Dogs Out.” Fucking hell. Jumpscare me, why doncha! I shudder at how tinny the music sounds — likely made worse by its volume — then close the card and place it back in its spot, not bothering to read more.
“Excuse me, miss?”
I peer over my left shoulder, and see that Mr. Saxton is making his way towards me. A vein is popping in his forehead, but he has a toothy smile on his face that screams customer service. Not sure what’s going on and feeling a little anxious about the situation, I don’t answer with words — I just turn my body to him and watch him expectantly. 
My eyes flicker to Sam real quick, who’s closer to the opposite end of the freezers now. He’s looking over here though, and when his eyes catch mine, he mouths “Go!” and motions his arm towards the front end of the store. Maybe he got caught socializing or something… wouldn’t doubt that there’s probably heavy surveillance in here. Man.
I look back at Sam’s boss as he says, “I’m going to need you to discard your beverage.”
My brows furrow and I tilt my head. “Why?”
Ah, he’s the asking-questions-is-talking-back type: He huffs a deep breath and tilts his head as if to mimic me, clasping his fingers together in front of his ribs. The smile and vein are both still on his face.
“It is not only unacceptable to bring your own food into a grocery store,” he strains, “but I cannot have you spilling your drink all over our products.”
…I haven’t spilled anything. What does he think I am, some crusty little kid? 
Damn, this is bringing out a rage that I haven’t experienced since working behind a Joja desk. I didn’t know I was even capable of it anymore. Must be something about the overstimulatingly bright blues, or the blindingly white strips of lights. Same ones we had above each cubicle in the office.
My anxiety is rapidly replaced with a petty yearn to cause a ruckus as I realize that I don’t work for Joja anymore. I never have to even come here again, actually.
I don’t answer to this fucko! I don’t answer to anyone!
Screw this guy!
Feeling courageous, I put on my own customer service mask as I inquire, “Do you want me to spill this on your products?”
“E-excuse me?!”
I hover the cup near the cards, tilting it a little. Doing a little eyebrow wiggle too for good measure. “It feels like you dooo.”
“I— w-what are you doing?”
Seb would be so proud if he were here. Not sure how Magnus would react, but I’d like to imagine he’d support me too.
Completely on impulse, I bring the cup in front of me and splash a little coffee in the man’s direction instead of the cards’. The now-lukewarm liquid splatters onto the white button-down beneath his jacket and rapidly seeps into the fabric, leaving a light brown, unsightly splotch.
Sick, got him where it hurts and none got on the floor! Less work for Sam!
Making sure my voice is just as cheery as Morris was trying to keep his, I cap this off, “Stop treating your employees like crap and stop treating complete strangers like children, asshole.”
This feels so good. My heart is racing and my pits feel a little moist and I might just end up an anxious mess the second I walk away, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t cool as fuck in the moment. When Leah asked me last week if Magnus ever wanted to go apeshit, it didn’t even occur to me how badly I wanted to go apeshit.
I walk down the nearest aisle as Morris continues sputtering something about me leaving, paying for this, whatever.
Shane’s kneeled down in the middle of the aisle stocking shelves. He faces me for a moment and grins slyly. “That was cool as hell.” Why does this feel so validating? “A woman after my own heart.” 
HUH?
I blink that fucking flashbang away — seriously, the last time I saw him he was still being a dick, and today he’s treating every interaction like we’re fully acquainted, if not more, what the heck — as he turns away to scan items onto the shelf again.
“I really didn’t do much…” I really didn’t. Just kinda caused a minor inconvenience for the guy. 
My hands are shaking though, so it must be catching up to me.
“That still took some balls.” He glimpses at me briefly and adds, “Y’look like you might cry, though. Get outta here before I change my mind about you.”
I huff out a quiet laugh and steady Sam’s — well, my, now — coffee in both hands. “On it, boss.”
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