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junicult · 1 year

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!! the bachelors & hot features they have / things they do

contains ; gn!farmer. written w fem!farmer in mind, but nothing that specifies. established relationship. nsfw. body / facial hair headcanons. suggestive content. mostly sfw w fluff. not proofread.

note ; ok so this is a prompt i made like a year ago on my other blog, so i just decided to bring it here w stardew valley characters!

harvey.

- he’s literally the loml.

- he’s so well groomed, his hygiene is genuinely perfect.

- ofc we know he has his famous mustache, super clean and neat. he trims it every so often to keep it that way.

- and i feel like he can grow a beard, but it doesn’t come in as thick so he decides to just shave it.

- this man has a happy trail 🫡

- a dark, thick patch of hair that trails up to his belly button. it progressively thins the higher it goes, but it’s definitely prominent when he’s wearing low shorts or even just boxers.

- he keeps that nice and trimmed too. i’m tellin you, he’s so clean.

- he also smells so good. whether it be cologne, or just him, it’s so good.

- he’s a boxer briefs kinda guy. they make him feel secure.

- he probably sleeps in a matching pair of pants and shirt. lol.

- but likely during the summer, he’ll end up falling asleep in just his boxers every once in a while.

- this man is the perfect husband.

- wakes up to make you breakfast, makes dinner to give you before you get home.

- on lazy days he’ll clean up the house, make sure it’s all nice and tidy while you work on the farm.

- he recognizes you have a lot to do, so he wants to give you as much as you give him.

- a househusband, if u will.

- he’s a cuddler.

- whether it be just sitting on the couch, watching tv, or lying in bed—he’s cuddling u.

- big spoon, little spoon, wrapped around your body one way or another.

- if he knows you hate cuddling, he’ll be cool about it. but you’ll probably have to compromise and give him something, like his hand holding yours or your head resting against his chest.

- your presence is enough, he just likes to feel you’re there before falling asleep.

- he’s huge on emotional intimacy.

- after a long day, and he gets to just unwind with you, and maybe a glass of wine every once in a while is like heaven to him.

- the type to set up a nice bubble bath with candles and stuff, just so you two can sit and catch up.

- “hm? no, my day was fine. much better now.”

- i’m just saying, harvey, with his hair slightly damp, glasses low on the bridge of his nose, head tilted to the side while listening to you intently, and his body all covered in bubbles. he’s so…

- fuck i love him.

sam.

- a thinner happy trail, but still goes up to his belly button.

- it’s like a slightly darker patch of blonde hair.

- he doesn’t really have to groom it or anything, but he does make sure it’s fairly neat every once in a while.

- he honestly doesn’t really dwell on it though. it’s just there, and since you’ve expressed interest in it, he’s more then happy to leave it.

- i feel like he could grow facial hair, but it always comes in super patchy and thin, so he just shaves it off.

- he honestly prefers it that way too. it just doesn’t look good on him.

- boxer shorts 🤭🤭🤭

- those baggy, plaid shorts that look so fucking good, especially when he wears them low on his waist.

- that’s all he wears to bed lol.

- CUDDLER!!!!!!

- spooning with him is so cute, swear.

- probably bc he wants to strictly be little spoon.

- even if you’re significantly shorter then him, he loves feeling like you’re his little backpack.

- i almost wanna say he moves around a lot in his sleep. it’s really interesting to wake up and see where he’s laying.

- like, he can go to bed with his whole body tucked under the covers, head on the pillow and feet at the end—but he’ll wake up with his limbs hanging off the end and entirely upside down above the covers.

- all of that but somehow he knows not to touch you, so it’s like a little surprise every time you both wake up.

- he absolutely loves pda.

- not an inappropriate amount, but there’s no way he can go even an hour without kissing you somehow when you’re together.

- holding your hand when you’re standing together, leaning over to give you a kiss on the cheek just cus.

- he loves going 1 on 1 with you during pool, but mainly because he just loves how sassy you get when you’re winning.

- or, whenever he’s playing against sebastian and he has you by his side cheering him on.

- he feels on top of the world.

- he’s so in love with you, swear.

shane.

- 😵‍💫

- he’s got what i’d like to say is a dad bod.

- round tummy, large arms, broad shoulders. he’s attractive in a realistic sense, and he may not be incredibly confident, but your attraction to his physique makes him a lot more self assured.

- especially when your eyes wander a little when he takes off his shirt, and he can mask his flattery with a teasing comment.

- “wanna take a picture?” so smugly, just so he can see your lips purse and you immediately look away.

- *sweats* h-happy trail….

- it’s thick; and dark, and not necessarily groomed, it just kinda grows one way & he doesn’t really touch it.

- literally 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

- not to mention he also definitely has chest hair, but not enough that it’s disgusting, y’know?

- and he has facial hair.

- just subtle scruff all around his chin and jaw, mainly because he couldn’t care enough to shave but also bc he knows you like it.

- that’s about all he can grow, anyways.

- it’s extremely (and i mean EXTREMELY) rare he’d shave, but on the occasion he does…

- tease him about it.

- loves when you rub your fingers against his cheeks, especially when you’re sitting in his lap just like, “it’s so soft, you look prepubescent.”

- he doesn’t, not in the slightest, but it’s still funny to see him swat your hand away and his face gets all red.

- after u got married and he got better with his addiction, i’d like to think he became much help on the farm.

- you need trees chopped? he’s ur guy.

- clean the chicken coop? obviously.

- maybe even sometimes if you’re not feeling good, you can bet he does everything you need for you.

- so his body definitely builds from that, but don’t fear! he’s still got his chub.🫡

- he sleeps in boxer shorts also.

- that or some pants, but never a shirt.

- if he’s wearing a shirt in bed, something’s seriously wrong with him. that, or it’s like the dead of winter (but even then it’s so rare.)

- this dude is like a FURNACE at night. he’s literally radiating heat just by laying there.

- and he’s not an initial cuddler.

- he loves you, but he likes his space getting ready to fall asleep.

- but i can promise you, somehow during the night he’ll end up wrapped around you entirely, squeezing u and practically lighting you on fire w his body heat.

- it’s endearing, tho.

- no matter how much he says he hates cuddling, he still ends up like that somehow (so who’s to say he really hates it?)

sebastian.

- 🤭🤭🤭

- lean build, pretty skinny.

- super pale too, and i’d like to think he has a ton of random freckles spotting across his body.

- not very many on his face cus he doesn’t get much sun (lol) but yeah, little moles here and there.

- his skin is also super smooth all the time for some reason.

- he’s not weak by any means, lowkey sleeper build except nothing really comes out when he uses his muscles LMFAO.

- like, if you give him a bunch of logs to carry that are really heavy, you expect him to only grab a few, not the whole bunch.

- and he can carry it effortlessly. it’s easy to forget he’s genuinely strong.

- but anyways, he doesn’t have chest hair or a happy trail.

- no facial hair, either. literally none. he’s just never been able to grow it, and he’s actually totally fine with that lol.

- his pubic hair is so well groomed, and that isn’t even by cause. his hair just naturally looks like that.

- a small dark patch around his shaft, fairly short but still just utterly average.

- if he whipped his dick out, you wouldn’t be shocked or anything.

- he strictly wears pj pants to bed, no shirt.

- he has veryyy subtle definition in his abs, so subtle you’d have to squint to see it.

- and he’s the kind of guy that (if he wanted to) no matter how hard he tried to get bulkier, it just wouldn’t work.

- he’s just genetically a pretty lanky guy, and while growing up he was embarrassed by it, right now he couldn’t care less.

- he’s grown to be more confident in himself after being with you.

- this man loves being praised, and when you reassure him he’s the ideal man for you.

- “you look so handsome today. did you do something with your hair?” hearing that first thing in the morning, when he didn’t even do anything & he actually doesn’t feel super attractive at the moment: yeah he’ll be thinking about that for weeks.

- it makes him feel so good whenever you randomly shoot one-liners that’ll catch him off guard like that.

- like in passing during a busy day, you’re just coming up to check on him for a couple minutes and you wrap your arms around his shoulders, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

- “you make it so hard for me to stay on task all day.” you sigh, grinning when he clearly gets all flustered.

- and he may not be as bold as you, but he has his moments.

- “mm, what if you just stayed in bed with me today?” “wish you’d stop pulling away whenever you feel gross, y’know it doesn’t bother me.” 👀👀

- this probably doesn’t need to be said, but i’m gonna say it anyways,

- he doesn’t like pda. the most he’ll do is hold your hand if you’re in public together, maybe kiss you on the cheek if he’s feels particularly affectionate / protective every now and then.

- he likes to keep his relationship private, it makes you feel a little more special to him.

- like, he loves the fact that only he gets to see you in specific ways.

- such as just being together on sappy evenings, softly mumbling things you love about each other while being in his arms. things like that.

- cus for him, if he does stuff like that in public, well for starters he’ll get uncomfortable. he’s too introverted for stuff like that.

- but really, it just means anyone can look over and see what you both look like when you’re all vulnerable with eachother, and to him he’d much rather keep that private.

- now, that being said…this man is so clingy lol.

- if you both are having an indoor day, and he’s working on the computer, while you’re just sorting through stuff inside, he’ll want to be near you.

- you’re at the stove? he’s at the kitchen table.

- you’re in the living room? he’s on the couch.

- you’re brushing your teeth? so is he.

- it can be dead silent between you two, just as long as you’re nearby, he’s happy.

alex.

- he’s one of the guys with a more toned physique.

- he’s got some pretty nice arms, can i just say.

- they’re toned, grow larger when he flexes, even resting they look pretty nice.

- and his abs too, they’re not crazy, but they’re definitely there.

- a nice definition you can see even when he’s not flexing. there’s at least four there.

- as for facial hair, he has none.

- i feel like if he could grow some, he’d definitely leave it. it’d make him feel more “manly.”

- but he just doesn’t LMFAO.

- now, non-facial hair is a different story👀

- he’s got a happy trail folks!!!

- it’s a dark, thick patch of brown hair that trails (once again) all the way up to his belly button.

- and it’s so fucking hot.

- it might be the prettiest (next to harvey’s, ofc.)

- believe it or not, he’s actually pretty neat with it.

- he takes pride in being attractive! ofc he’s going to groom it.

- trims it whenever it gets untamed, but never shaves it off. he loves it, and he knows you do too.

- he’s also a boxer briefs guy. 99% of the time, he’s walking around wearing only his boxer briefs in the house.

- especially whenever it’s an indoor day, yeah, he’s not even bothering getting dressed at all😭😭

- that’s all he sleeps in. even if it’s the middle of winter.

- another pda fan.

- but this time, dare i say…he’s a little more bold.

- he’ll kiss you like he does when you’re private, even if there’s people around.

- cupping your cheek, pulling you in for likely more then 5 seconds sometimes.

- he’ll hold onto your waist when you’re standing together. he’ll stand behind you with his arms wrapped around you, even.

- and well, yes there’s empty seats all around you, but that’s too bad. cus he’s pulling you into sitting in his lap.

- he loves knowing everyone’s jealous of him.

- you’re so attractive, he knows all the other men look at you thinking the same thing.

- and he just loves how he’s got a rock on your finger that’s similar to his. he loves the fact that you said yes to him, not to anyone else who would’ve asked.

- so he loves showing you off.

- he’s got such a high libido, so he’s fairly sexual all the time.

- rolling over to kiss you after fucking you for literal hours, and even just the sight of you lying there, trying to catch your breath has him ready to go again.

- he’s one to grope you (consensually!)

- like, if ur walking by him, he’ll grab your ass and shoot you a grin like nothing even happened.

- but he knows when to be more serious, like if you had bad day and you just need a good cry.

- i’d like to think he’s really good at comforting people.

- he was there for his mom whenever his dad was treating them horribly, and he definitely helped her through a few tears, so he’s perfect at just holding you.

- he’s genuinely a sweetheart. yes he’s cocky, and flirty, but when it comes to people he loves: he’s so perfect.

elliot.

- *cracks knuckles*

- he can grow facial hair, but he normally goes without it.

- it comes in thick, but it won’t grow past any stubble (or at least he doesn’t let it before shaving it all off.)

- but omfg…his facial hair looks so nice when he lets it grow for a bit.

- especially when he kisses you, or lets you cup your hands around his jaw during that phase.

- he’s another one that loves to feel your fingers rake through his hair when you’re just commenting on how handsome he looks with it.

- despite how attractive it is, he still prefers it gone. so it’s rare when he lets it get to that point.

- his has a very subtle happy trail. it’s mostly just a patch of hair that peeks above his waistline, and it doesn’t go all the way up to his belly button,

- but it’s still as handsome as ever.

- his sleepwear is literally silk. stg.

- he’s so extra.

- he probably even got you a matching pair with your initials engraved “just cus.”

- but when he isn’t wearing all of that, he’s probably just wearing some regular pj pants and a shirt.

- it’s rare tho, cus like i said—he’s so extra.

- something so casual, but so attractive that he does is when he’s super exhausted with writing for so long, that he just leans back in his chair and sighs.

- like…he throws his arms over his head, manspreads just a little and sighs.

- or or or

- after you’ve had such a long and exhausting day, he’s quick to place his pencil down and open his arms to slot you on his lap.

- “tell me what’s the matter, my love. want me to make you some tea, get you some water?”

- and while you’re talking, he’s just gently rubbing your thigh and kissing your arms softly.

- he’s just so gracious and endearing.

- this man 😮‍💨😮‍💨

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stardew-shitposterino · 3 months

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The Bachelors and how they’d react if you asked them to start a family

Same old same old. This post is inspired by @babiebom 's post about the bachelor/ettes and how many kids they’d have :3 I’m not really a person who is too keen on children and being a housewife, but I can’t deny that the thought of a picture perfect family does warm my heart, girlies. Enjoy 💅🏻🍼

Some answers are gender specific. I hope to anyone playing the game as a same sex couple that you can look past that 🙏🏻

Sam:

-he’d be boots the house down in total shock

-don’t get it twisted, he is ecstatic, but damn he didn’t expect it to be this soon

-of course he is excited about every life stage of his potential little ones, but he can’t wait to have someone he can teach how to skate

-„really? A-and you’re not joking or anything? RAD!“

-maybe he is a bit too excited as he‘s definitely ripping his pants off his body as soon as the message sunk in

-„Oh you didn’t mean we should start it right now? Sorry my bad 😅“

Sebastian:

-he is happy but can’t really show it

-anxiety is kicking hard rn

-it’s not that he doesn’t want this, but he has so many worries, after all he had lived through himself

-he definitely needs some time to think about this

-„Y/N, I’d really love to have this with you one day, but please give me time to adjust to this. It’s a lot for me to process.“

-he will eventually open up about it and you agree on not rushing things. If you’re an opposite sex couple, you agree on starting a family once you’re pregnant. No planning, just living and if it happens, it happens (it probably happened after like 2 months after you had the talk lol)

Elliott:

-„Heavens, Love! What wonderful news. I’ve been waiting for this moment. This will be the start of our legacy!“ (excuse me bruuuhh this is how I imagine him talk lol)

-he had heart-shaped eyes if you haven’t noticed

-as much as he loves the romance and allure of being a childless couple with a world to their feet, he can’t kick the idea of being a wholesome dad raising a curious child with his wonderful partner

-he emphasises on not rushing things as he doesn’t want you to feel pressure. He knows how stressful your job is so he doesn’t want you to feel overwhelmed though you proposed that idea first

-you can bet your ass you went to bed after that talk 👀 WHO SAID THAT 🤨

Harvey:

-he is a blushy mess thank you and amen

-he‘s so anxious but also so excited

-no way you actually proposed this to him. He actually accepted his fate as a childless bachelor

-but here he is, finally getting the happy little family he always wanted

-but it isn’t smooth sailing with him, oh no. You can bet your ass he has to calculate everything through before he feels comfortable enough starting to bring this wish to reality

-you know, you earn a shit ton of money but he is anxious ok. He needs to KNOW the child won’t end up homeless with nothing to wear once it’s here

-“Oh this is all so new and, I-I don’t even know how to say it without it sounding wrong. I just can’t grasp that this is happening. Pinch me so I know I’m not dreaming”

-you didn’t sleep with each other that day but a make-out sess was in it. A wholesome one to say the least. This man is wholesome in my books 📕

Shane:

-the only thing missing here is that he fainted and fell to the floor after you popped the question

-say WHAT NOW?!

-no way. He probably heard it wrong. You didn’t just ask HIM to have YOUR children… no wait the other way around. This is what that question did to his brain lol

-or generally having kids together. He isn’t opposed to adopting because he fears the kids will inherit his messed up brain so taking in kids that are in need of a nice, welcoming home doesn’t sound bad either

-but no wait wait back to the topic; he’s a MESS

-he always wanted children and a family in general, the very boring ass white picket fence fantasy is what he longed for but kind of accepted that it’s something he cannot have. Well guess what…HE CAN

-“wait…did you- and you mean with me? Or is there someone else I should know about? Ok sorry bad joke. But you mean it?! Really? A little sibling for Jas🥹”

-just know this burly man started crying a river of joy tears. But once the tears dried and it kicked in 👀

-“ok if we want this to work out we gotta get to business 😎”

Alex:

-like Shane, he waited for this moment

-just he isn’t anxious like some of the others, he straight up jumps for joy lol

-“BABE NO WAY! I’ve been waiting for this!”

-he is a happy crier tho. Expect him to cry a little but in a good way

-but also expect him to propose the question of having a lot more kids in the future. He wants a football team of kids. But the amount is still negotiable of course (you gave him the “spouse stare” which made him go down a notch lol)

- he will babble about what gender the first kid might be, what he’d do with them depending on it and how he’d get them the smallest grid ball jerseys you’ll ever see because “LOOK THEY ARE SO TINY”

-like some of the others, he might be a bit too eager to start the baby project. Even if you can’t conceive yourself, he will live out that fantasy. You prepared yourself for this because it was very much predictable lol

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv shane #sdv bachelors #sdv elliott #sdv Sam #sdv Alex #sdv Harvey #sdv sebastian #Stardew valley Sam #Stardew Valley Alex #Stardew valley Shane #Stardew valley Harvey #stardew valley sebastian #Stardew valley Elliott #sdv bachelor hcs #Stardew valley headcanons #sdv headcanons

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artem-on-the-moon · 2 days

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since the farm used to be owned by the farmer’s grandpa do you think they used to visit stardew as a kid and used to play with some of the residents who have been their all their lives? Looking at tadpoles with lil seb and maru, exploring the fields with tiny abby, listening to the radio with Sam and baby Vince, and reading picture books with Penny?

#sdv #stardew valley #stardew valley bachelors #stardew valley bachelorettes #sdv hcs #sdv farmer #sdv sebastian #sdv abigail #sdv sam #sdv penny #sdv maru #sdv vincent

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babiebom · 7 months

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Please please please please PLEASE do the nsfw alphabet for sdv harvey? He’s my husband I love him soooo much

A/N: yes!! I’m surprised there haven’t been more requests for Harvey I thought he was more popular. Also since you didn’t specify I’ll do three random ones? If you want something specific you can request again :)

Tw: sexual content

Alphabet Post Masterlist

A- Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

The man is a doctor, he had to have gone through med school and biology? So rather than the others he knows just how important Aftercare is for both the body and the mind. The man WILL NOT REST until you are comfortable and happy and have had just a little bit of a snack and water. KING of aftercare we love a smart man.

E-Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Like a lot of people, I think this man FUCKS. I do think that in college he had a period of time where he just slept around as a way to be less stressed with all of his classes and life in general. Don’t worry he used protection, and was safe about everything so VERY experienced and knows what he is doing.

On the other hand he could be like a total virgin but i doubt it.

I-Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

I think he is the second most romantic just behind Elliott. While Elliott has the writing romance bone, Harvey is more of a romantic person that is just a bit clumsy? He will put roses and make dinner, but might burn the dinner and forgets to cut the thorns off. It’s endearing though. Like the hot air balloon date.

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew #sdv headcanons #stardew headcanon #stardew valley headcanons #sdv harvey #sdv hcs #stardew harvey #stardew valley harvey #stardew hcs #stardew valley hcs #stardew valley bachelors #stardew shitpost #stardew valley shitpost #sdv shitpost #sdv smut #stardew smut #stardew valley smut

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murdermuffins · 9 months

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My tier list of how likely the stardew valley singles would be to use pot

#stardew valley #stardew valley headcanons #sdv #sdv bachelors #sdv bachelorettes #sdv hcs #maru sdv #sdv sam #sdv abigail #sdv shane #sdv emily #ask me to elaborate

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ieatsmallorphansnamedtom · 1 year

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Bachelor/Ette's Favourite Nicknames

I need motivation to write. So here is my motivation. Take all of these names in a gender-neutral sense.

Bachelors:

Sam

Giving: Honey, babe, sweet stuff Receiving: Honey, sweetheart, pumpkin

Elliott

Giving: Love, dear, sweetheart Receiving: Handsome, darling, dear

Sebastian

Giving: Babe, cutie, love Receiving: Babe, cutie, love

Harvey

Giving: Darling, lovely, sugarplum Receiving: Darling, sweet pea, pumpkin

Shane

Giving: Peanut, dumbass (affectionately), good lookin' Receiving: Honey, golden boy, honeybun

Alex

Giving: Sweet pea, pumpkin, doll Receiving: Honeybunch, cinnamon, love

Bachelorettes:

Penny

Giving: Dearie, sugar, perfect Receiving: Buttercup, button, sunshine

Leah

Giving: Babe, love, muse Receiving: Babe, dragonfly, bumble bee

Abigail

Giving: Hottie, shutterbug, chipmunk Receiving: Firefly, babe, love

Maru

Giving: Hon, flower, moon Receiving: Dove, dear, sweetheart

Emily

Giving: Cutie pie, dear, honey Receiving: Dragon fruit, love, Ems

Haley

Giving: Cutie pie, hot stuff, lovey Receiving: Boo, doll, sunflower

-~-~-

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hopefuloverfury · 6 months

Note

I always get so sad when I think about the bachelors and bachelorttes not being able to achieve their dreams :( so how do you think the game would be different if they had? like before they meet the farmer? (i love your writing by the way,,,)

While I was thinking about this, the main question in my head was “Why would any of them still be in Pelican Town if they achieved their dreams?” Sooo I had to put them through some bullshit to get them all in one place lmao. Thank you for enjoying my writing, it means... way more than any of you probably realize. Anyway, this was fun to think about, and I hope you have fun reading it! <3

Mentions of parental death, abuse, infidelity, dysfunctional familial relationships, and reference to Leah’s shitty ex (FUCK YOU, KEL!)

Sam was the lead singer of his own band, but is now struggling to find his new normal after the members decided to go their separate ways. It certainly doesn’t help that they ended on negative terms, and their fanbase has become fractured due to the controversy surrounding the break-up. Sam has come back to Pelican Town to spend time with his family and figure out which direction he wants to take his career, but his band-mates said ill-intended things about him before they broke up, and he’s struggling to make amends with his perception of himself. He tries to write new songs, but he isn’t liking anything he’s come up with, and it’s reflecting poorly on his self-esteem. He wonders if his fans will still be there waiting once he’s ready to release his solo-music, and is paralyzed with fear about what will happen to him and his career if they aren’t.

Sebastian is a professional coder. He saved up enough money to move away as soon as he turned eighteen, and has only visited for holidays since. He was previously engaged while living in the city, but after his fiancé cheated on him with a coworker, he returned to Pelican Town to pick up the pieces of his heart. During his time away he managed to check himself into therapy, so he’s well-equipped to handle conflicts with his family, and his relationship with his mother and sister have improved dramatically since, which is really nice. He is trying his best to pursue a healthier relationship with Demetrius, but the man really doesn’t make it easy. Robin also added an extension to the house, so he doesn’t live in the basement anymore. His room has a window now, but he still prefers the rain, and discovers with surprise that he likes the rain in Pelican Town more than he ever did in the city. It’s nice to see the frogs again.

Alex is a professional gridball player. His mother passed away before she could see him achieve his dreams, but his father has contacted him many times. Alex knows his father doesn’t actually want a relationship with him, though, because the only times he’s contacted him is to ask for money. Alex blocks his dad’s number after catching sight of him on the news, trying to drag Alex's name through the mud, but eventually moves away when his dad breaks into his apartment and wrecks the place. He settles back into his bedroom at Evelyn and George’s house, and tries not to feel too drained by the legal proceedings. It’s pretty relaxing though, going back home during his off-season. Not to mention he really missed the summers in Pelican Town.

Elliott is a reputable author. He’s written a trilogy or two, a smattering of stand-alone novels, and even has a few broadway credits. But after years of constantly writing, he’s burnt out and tired, and needs a break, so he moves out of his stuffy apartment in the city and into the cabin on the beach. He commissions Robin for expansions and repairs, and it’s turned into quite a nice place, if he should be so bold to say so. He talks to Willy a lot, and after hearing the stories the fisherman has collected over the years, he kind of wants to write a book about pirates or some other kind of adventurer, but nothing is coming to mind. He’s got an excess of inspiration and drive, but the moment his pen hits the paper, his mind goes blank. It’s incredibly irritating.

Shane is one of the most notable film directors of the last decade, and he’s got quite a number of credits under his belt. His IMDb page is massive, and while he doesn’t get recognized on the street very often, anyone who knows anything about film will know his name. He moved to Pelican Town with Jas after the death of her parents. Riddled with grief, he had the presence of mind to recognize some bad habits were developing, and he couldn’t really handle the pressure of celebrity life anymore. He drinks occasionally, but he doesn’t consider himself an alcoholic. He only drinks a few times a week—and compared to his colleagues in the city—that’s nothing.

Harvey is an experienced pilot. He initially wanted to join the Ferngill Republic Air Force, but after many discussions with his parents, he decided to pursue an ATP certification and become an airline pilot instead. However, due to the recent trauma of a severe crash, Harvey is taking a break from flying. He’s become intensely afraid of heights, and the thought of getting in a plane makes him physically sick to his stomach. He’s been working on it, but it’s already been a year, and he’s not any closer to being back in the pilot’s chair. What’s wrong with him?

Maru went to university to pursue a career in STEM, but was quickly disillusioned and decided it wasn’t for her, so she decided to switch gears and abandon her dream school. Robin understood after a short explanation and told her to come back home, but Maru’s relationship with her father has become strained since, and even though they regularly experiment in the lab together, it causes some unnecessary drama in the household. Maru tries not to let it get to her too much, but it does. More positively though, her relationship with Sebastian has improved since they both came home, and they can actually hold a conversation without getting irritated at each other. She likes hanging out with her brother, but wishes that they could've gotten along like this as kids, too. They have a lot of years to catch up on!

Penny was a stay-at-home-mom up until a few months ago, when her partner suddenly decided domestic life wasn’t for them, and yanked the rug out from under her. With nowhere to go and no employment, she trudged back to Pelican Town with her tail between her legs and a toddler on her hip, to move back in with her mother. She teaches Vincent and Jas regularly, and works as a private tutor for a few clients in the town over. Pam chose to take on the majority of childcare for her grandchild, but she’s excelling at it and hasn’t stepped foot in the saloon in a long time. It should be a great thing, but Penny doesn’t know why she’s so bothered by it.

Abigail is an active member of the adventurer’s guild, a highly skilled swordswoman, and she will occasionally dabble with the magical forces of Stardew Valley under the careful guidance of her mentor, Rasmodius. Yes, she knows. No, she doesn’t mention it, and neither does he. She doesn’t live with her parents anymore. When she was looking to move out, she asked to buy the deed to the old farm, but was quickly shot down by Lewis, and decided instead to claim the decrepit cabin south of Rasmodius’ tower. Robin helped her fix it up, and after a few months, it was in good enough repair to move in permanently. She spends most of her days down in the mines, clearing the monsters on the lower floors. She’s never gone past level 20, if only to save herself from her mother’s tearful begging, but Pierre has given up. They don’t speak much.

Haley is a prolific photographer. Her portfolio is hefty, some photos dating back from when she was in high school, but the most recent picture is from three months ago, and she hasn’t picked up her camera since. She doesn’t know why, but nothing looks interesting enough to shoot anymore. The world looks flat and dull, but maybe that’s just the city. When her parents ask her and her sister to watch their house in Pelican Town while they galavant through the archipelago on some “soul-searching-journey,” she accepts without preamble. Maybe she just needs a change of scenery to get her inspiration back. Maybe she’ll find her muse?

Leah is a revered artist, and many of her pieces are in museums and art galleries. She tries to live in the city, but quickly realizes that she hates it, and after a few misses, she moves to Pelican Town. The lush flora and fauna kick her inspiration into overdrive, and with the amount of foraged greens she’s been eating since moving into the cabin next to Marnie’s, she doesn’t think she’s ever felt so good. Unfortunately her ex Kel is determined to sniff her out, and that puts a damper on her shiny new life in Pelican Town. She wishes it was because they actually loved her, but she knows it’s only because they miss the luxurious life Leah’s job afforded them. She tries not to think too hard about that, though.

Emily is a fashion designer! She’s had plenty of shows during different fashion weeks and other events, and many name-brands have collaborated with her. She does do stylist work on the side, and many of her clients are a-list celebrities or high profile professionals. She prefers the countryside, though, so when her parents offered her and her sister their place in Pelican Town, she jumped at the opportunity! Only thing is, it’s been years since her and Haley have occupied the same space, and every resident in town has a dark cloud of thick negative energy hovering over their heads. She’s overwhelmed with guilt, knowing she can’t do anything to help.

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formerlyz · 1 year

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Stardew Valley Driving Headcanons

Idk why this popped into my head the other day, but this is what I feel like each of the Bachelors/Bachelorettes would be like on the road!

Elliot: 1000% Passenger Princess. He just never felt inclined to learn because he’d so much rather be a passenger. Leah usually drives him around. He’s a really good navigator and Dj in the car tho so she doesn’t mind. Knows every Uber driver in town.

Sebastian: Really skilled but really scary driver. The type that weaves in and out of traffic and speeds. He’s never even been close to an accident surprisingly.

Alex: 10 and 2 all the way. Never speeds. Literally a Drivers Ed poster child. His car is spotless pretty much 24/7

Shane: I feel like he would have gotten in the most dumb fender bender accidents. Not necessarily his fault, just his luck. When he gets drunk he’ll sleep in his car until he sobers up and can drive home. Probably has a bunch of trash in his car.

Sam: Definitely not perfect, but not a bad driver. Usually goes like 10 over, forgets to signal sometimes, but doesn’t do anything outright dangerous or stupid. His car is probably the messiest but with random stuff. Is constantly blasting music and singing in the car.

Harvey: Also a pretty safe driver, but will honk at people and swear at them under his breath when he gets cut off. The only thing unsafe he does is he drives tired more than he should.

Abigail: LOVES to go off-roading and do donuts in empty parking lots. She’s okay but is a bit too much of an aggressive driver sometimes.

Penny: She never got her License but is a really good driver. She probably learned from her mom and had to be a DD for her mom a lot growing up.

Maru: I feel like she also doesn’t know how to drive. She was too busy with her experiments and school to get around to learning.

Emily: Knows how to drive but doesn’t really like too. I feel like she would be a little bit of a nervous driver. Probably would go under the speed limit. Chooses to bike or walk wherever she can.

Haley: Pretty similar to Sam, not perfect but not bad. She probably has a nicer car and gets carwashes like once a week.

Leah: Likes driving and is a country road type of driver. She’s the queen of finding back roads and shortcuts to avoid taking a freeway.

(Bonus!) Krobus: “What’s a car?” (Can probably teleport or something)

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew valley headcanons #sdv hcs #sdv bachelors #sdv bachelorettes #sdv driving #z has thoughts

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maxwell-mtv · 9 months

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Another random Shane headcanon that popped into my mind while getting ready for the day:

I bet Shane loves to watch those stoner 90s films like Clerks or Mall Rats

#I think I'm starting to crush on Shane... uh oh #if he's on my mind this often???#I thought Harvey would be the only bachelor I'd want...#uh oh...#stardew valley #sdv #sdv headcanons #sdv hcs #Stardew Valley Headcanons #shane stardew valley #shane sdv #stardew shane

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the-flower-herald · 11 months

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Dropping in for some headcanon voices for my lovely boys because I saw one for Shane and it STUCK.

Shane- Bojack Horseman (Will Arnett)

Elliott- Joel Miller (Pedro Pascal)

Sebastian- Noah Sebastian (Bad Omens)

#stardew valley #stardew bachelors #sdv shane #sdv elliott #sdv sebastian #stardew hcs

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junicult · 1 year

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First of all, love you work!!! Secondly, for the bachelors asking farmer if they can try something new in the bedroom and what do you think the new kink they want to try would be?

!! the bachelors & their kinks

contains ; smut! nsfw. fem!farmer. much suggestive content. kinkplay (obvi). light bondage. fem!masturbation. fingering. slight edging. orgasm control / denial. overstim. squirting. mirror sex. oral (f!receiving). very brief mention of an insecure!reader (elliot’s.)

note ; i got another ask like this about just their fav kinks, so i’m combining them both here.

harvey.

- now, to some of you, this man may scream vanilla.

- which, okay, isn’t untrue.

- he loves those nights when you’re just needy and desperate, you just need him to be with you, no extra stuff.

- missionary, holding hands, moaning into your mouth while whispering abt how much you love each other—yeah, that’s his favorite.

- but, are we just gonna sit here and pretend like he’s not literally an overthinker?????

- OFC THIS MAN IS KINKY!!!!!

- but he’d much rather live in ignorant bliss then know you’d be turned off by his kinks.

- so yes. he’s got some pretty closeted fantasies, things he’s always wanted to try but has been wayy too scared to even mention.

- even if you’re like, “oh c’mon, you’re telling me there’s nothing you want to try?” practically BEGGING for him to confess,

- he’s just gonna swallow and shake his head.

- the thing about harvey, tho, is that during sex (even though he enjoys it very much), his main goal is to make sure you’re feeling good.

- it’s all about you, and whatever you want to try.

- you’ve definitely told him your biggest kinks, and can i just say you’ve definitely tried them all.

- that’s just bc he wants to do that for you.

- he was excited to help you fulfill those fantasies, especially since it made you feel so good.

- and depending on what a few of them were, he definitely tries to incorporate them into every night sex.

- anyways—

- it (annoyingly) takes a while to finally get him to open up.

- but once he finally tells you, ohhh boyyy.

- firstly, he’s into bondage. i said it.

- light, but still enough that you’re restrained at least somehow.

- whether it’s using his tie to pull your hands back, or a full on rope tying your limbs to the bedposts—i swear.

- he’s super gentle, tho. tying each knot and asking a quiet, “is it too tight?” every time.

- but fucckkkkk

- he’s gonna be so criminally slow.

- i wanna say he’s a switch. a big fan of letting you take the lead somedays, and him some others.

- so being able to tie you up is like his own leverage this time.

- he gets to see you squirming underneath him, body scorching and you’re just so desperate for him to fuck you,

- but he won’t. not yet, cus you just look so so pretty and, well, if this is his biggest fantasy, then he’s gonna take his time.

- secondly…roleplay.

- 🫡

- now, this may not be an everyday fantasy, but it’s definitely something he’d want to try at least once.

- and if we’re being literal, the only roleplay i can see him really wanting to try is some sort of doctor play.

- this man would NEVER (ignoring the fact that ur technically one of his patients so really not never) visualize his patients in such a way. he takes serious pride in being a doctor, and his professionalism.

- but hear me out—he’d die to have you on his table, you’re just so fucking horny and he’s kinda stressed, so he just fucks u right there in his office.

- lab coat still on, stethoscope hanging around his neck still. he’s literally in his entire work uniform.

- that’s just his biggest fantasy, tho.

- realistically, he’d never do that.

- it’d be a serious violation of anyone found out, and he’d lose his job (and likely much worse.)

- not to mention, extremely unsanitary. as much as he’d love to, he’d literally never.

- so, approaching this kink wouldn’t be easy.

- you’d probably get him to tell you, and he’d finish it with, “i’d much rather keep my job then throw it away by doing something reckless,” and you understand that, but it’s super exciting to see his face get all red and his eyes avoid contact.

- that doesn’t stop the thought from invading your mind every time you pop into the clinic to say hi to him.

- dropping him off a warm cup of coffee, and if he isn’t busy, you may even lean across the counter to give him a chaste kiss.

- except you’re sliding your hand around the back of his neck, feathering your fingers through his short brown hair and pulling him in, sorta taking him by surprise cus that’s hardly a kiss for a greeting.

- and you’re smiling when you pull away, a little devilish twinkle in your eye when you say, “i’ll see you at home, doctor,” just before waltzing out the door.

- hah. yeah.

- it’s gonna be a looonngg shift.

sam.

- he’s an open book.

- it didn’t take any prying at all, but the topic probably didn’t come up for a while.

- not until you guys were just sitting together one day, just talking like you usually do.

- and out of curiosity he asks, “is there anything you’d ever wanna try in bed? sexually?”

- so you tell him, and then proceed to ask the same question.

- he pretends to think for a moment.

- but really, he already knows what he wants to say.

- and he probably has a whole story to follow it up LMFAO

- “like, a long time ago i was, y’know…watching porn or whatever, like you do,” he’s looking down at his hands, twiddling his thumbs, “and i saw this one thing once. thought it was pretty cool.”

- “…which was?”

- he clears his throat. “just like…a dominatrix…”

- yeah.

- this man wants to be dominated 🤷‍♀️

- he probably went as far as to make a vow to himself that he’d try it once.

- don’t get me wrong, he’s definitely a switch as well. he likes being in control, and even a healthy dose of letting you be in control,

- but i’m talking DOMINATED.

- like, talk down on him, be a little rough, use him like he’s a toy.

- he’ll go fucking crazy.

- he genuinely doesn’t care what you do, just as long as you’re getting so much out of this, just using him however you please.

- i think i’ve said this a million times,

- but once he gets going, this man won’t shut the fuck up. he’s just talking and talking, spewing nothing but porn from his lips,

- and the moment you stuff ur panties in his mouth to shush him…

- yeah, that’s it. he’s done. he’s fulfilled his biggest dream.

- and he’s so glad you did it for him.

- another kink i feel like he’d have is you using him somehow to get yourself off, without touching his dick or something.

- and he definitely didn’t know he had this kink until once when you were just making out, you were so desperate that you subconsciously started rubbing against his thigh,

- and he didn’t realize what you were doing until you just cut yourself off moaning, head hanging and eyes lidded.

- he just placed his hands on your hips, watching you, how your hips moved against his clothed thigh and how your eyebrows pinched,

- you weren’t actively touching him or anything. but he got so hard that he started to feel like you literally were.

- he lets you use him to ride out your high, hardly paying attention to the way you’re panting, “‘m sorry, jus’ couldn’t—i’m sorry—“

- he’s already cutting you off,

- “do that again, fuck, do that again please.”

shane.

- he’s so kinky lol.

- the real question is what isn’t one of his kinks?

- no cus honestly, i feel like he’d be down to try anything at least once. just to see if he liked it, and to see what he didn’t.

- for the most part, he kinda likes everything.

- within reason, of course.

- so i feel like getting him to open up about it wasn’t hard at all. especially if you’re already really close and connected with one another.

- as for his kinks, like the ones he prefers over everything else, well…i feel like they’re surprisingly underwhelming.

- his absolute favorite will forever be handcuffs.

- cuffing you to the bedpost, arms up high and out of reach so he can tease you all he wants.

- and he loves when you just get so flushed and embarrassed, but you can’t use your hands to cover your face.

- it’s so rare he’d ever be the one cuffed. he likes it much more when you are.

- plus, i feel like you tried once, and you got way too cocky that he just ripped through them and fucked you stupid.

- so yeah. cuffs are appreciated.

- another one of his kinks would be watching you masturbate.

- or even guiding you through masturbation.

- it’s just so hot when he has you laying in front of him, legs propped and spread apart, with your hand teasing your cunt however you like.

- kinda, sorta degrades u while praising you at the same time.

- “you’re not gonna cum yet, are you? i thought you were better then that.” “it’s up to you, baby. you wanna cum now, or let me give it to you later?”

- he’s gonna make you edge yourself.

- but really, it’s your call if you wanna cum without his permission or not.

- if u do, that’s fine. he’ll bask in the sight of you trembling and whining from your own doing.

- however, just so you know, he’s not gonna fuck you for the next few days.

- so why’re you all clingy now, desperate and whiny?

- after all, it seems like you don’t even need him.

sebastian.

- hmmm.

- he’s absolutely not an open book.

- it took him a while to even have sex with you first, anyways. obviously he’s not gonna bust out every position or activity he’s ever wanted to try right away.

- he’s probably not going to be able to talk about it unless he’s already horny, and his pride is out the window.

- now, this man has long, thin fingers.

- yeah, he’s always liked the idea of fingering u.

- that’s not necessarily a kink, so let me take it one step further.

- his fingers can reach really deep inside of you, and in some ways, his fingers feel a little better then his actual cock.

- after years of practice with you, he’s gotten very good at learning what you like, and what you don’t like. he’s super vigilant.

- he knows just where to curve his fingers inside of you, just how quickly to pump them in and out of you to the point where you’re nothing but stuttered gasps and choked out moans.

- and because he has such long fingers, he knows exactly where that small, rough spot is inside of you.

- and he knows what can happen if he focuses specifically on just that one spot.

- see where i’m going w this?

- every single time he fingers you, he always has one end goal.

- to make you squirt.

- whether you realize that’s what he’s trying to do or not, he’s obsessed with the possibility of feeling your arousal all over his hand, making a mess out of your sheets and even his clothes if he can try hard enough (gn.)

- it wasn’t until one day when he was finally able to do it—i swear he thought he was a dead man.

- he literally came in his pants just from the sight alone 😇

- your body shaking, mind so foggy you don’t even realize what you’ve done until your breaths finally even out minutes later.

- it’s even cuter when you finally do, and you grow all embarrassed.

- “holy shit, did i just…?”

- but when you look at his flushed face, and down at the growing stain in his pants,

- let’s just say ur no longer the one who’s embarrassed.

alex.

- when it comes to sex, he’s pretty vanilla.

- he likes fucking you until you both cum, he’s not really one to edge or overstimulate you.

- but as it turns out, his kinks are pretty specific.

- i feel the need to mention that immediately, as soon as i got this ask, i just knew i had to talk about this.

- don’t get me wrong, i love alex so much. he’s so adorable.

- and this probably doesn’t count as a kink, but please hear me out when i say,

- he’ll definitely give u his jersey to wear when he fucks u stupid one day.

- i’m sorry.

- some may say narcissistic, he says confident!

- just the way his jersey engulfs your frame, his last name written in large letters above his number makes him…nghh.

- like, he was unpacking to move into the farm, found his old jersey in one of his boxes and he excitedly showed it to you.

- he was so cute about it, reminiscing on that time in his life before you offhandedly asked him to try it on.

- and he was all, “oh, no way. it wouldn’t fit me anymore.” so instead, you tried it on.

- and it just clicked on his mind.

- like a literal switch that just immediately gave him a hard on.

- he couldn’t help but kiss all down your neck, and eventually have you bent over one of the cabinets, your hair wrapped in his loose fist so he could see the jersey properly while fucking you from behind.

- ur moaning so loud, panting and whining, and he can’t help but love the fact that you’re all his.

- he’s just obsessed. ur definitely doing that again.

- this next one kinda ties into his slight narcissism, too.

- and this one also isn’t really a kink, but with how badly he wants to try it, it may as well be.

- alex likes anything that proves how strong he is.

- fucking you against the wall, holding you up entirely, literally anything that shows off his strength.

- so it shouldn’t have been a surprise when he turned to you one evening, and was just like, “you should sit on my face.”

- when you agree to it, he knows you well enough to know you’re just gonna hover.

- and he’s not having that.

- “don’t be shy, actually sit on it. c’mon, you think you could hurt me?”

- “what if you stop breathing?”

- he almost wants to roll his eyes. “then it’d be a rightful way to die.”

- “alex!”

- “baby, just sit! i’m gonna be fine, i promise. please. for me.” he’ll use puppy dog eyes, even stick out his bottom lip of he has to.

- finally, when you do, he feels like he’s ascending to heaven.

- wraps his arms around your thighs to tug you down further, and he’s looking up at you moaning like crazy while he eats you out like he’s starving.

- there was no easing into it, he’s immediately diving in.

- cus once again, if there’s one honorable way to die, then it’s buried between your thighs.

elliot.

- it’s a given he’s extremely romantic.

- he’s the type to surprise you with candlelight dinners at home, or a fancy, all expenses paid (by him) evening in zuzu city.

- all of his romance, deep love and affection for you of course translates to sex.

- he’s written a lot of novels, he’s read a lot of romances.

- but, i feel like he likes to keep it simple in bed.

- much like harvey, he prefers when you’re just in the moment together, holding each other, finishing together.

- he probably wouldn’t be against trying many things just to try them out, or if you really enjoyed them,

- but when it comes to his own kinks? they’re super tame.

- for one, he absolutely loves when he gets to put you in front of a mirror, completely naked slotted between his thighs, with either your or his fingers rubbing against your cunt.

- you just roll your head back into his shoulder, panting while he whispers words of praise into your ear.

- it’s like, he’s showering you with endless levels of pleasure, all of which you’re too short-circuited to focus on any.

- he mostly loves this position after you offhandedly, or subtly mention something poor about how you look.

- so he uses that opportunity to let you see yourself the way he sees you.

- “my pretty baby, i don’t believe you could even think so poorly of yourself.” kissing your cheek in whispering in your ear.

- he won’t edge you. he couldn’t deprive himself of waiting to see you finish.

- so another one of his kinks that he’ll never fail to forget is overstimulation.

- he’s not done until you’re practically stupid, nearly drooling.

- when all you can speak are incoherent babbles, breath staggering in your chest.

- that’s when he knows he can finally finish, bc that’s another thing,

- he’s not cumming until you’re entirely fucked out.

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stardew-shitposterino · 10 months

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Ok once and for all because I’m biased on it:

#stardew valley #sdv shane #sdv #sdv bachelors #shane stardew valley #sdv fanart #stardew valley shane #shane sdv #stardew shane #I wanna know what you HC him as because I’m so torn on his age. some of his dialogue suggest he is over 30

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unabashedly-so · 5 months

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Feeling bleh... send me some requests to take my mind off of things for a while? sfw and nsfw accepted. :)

#sdv #sdv hcs #stardew valley #sdv bachelors #unabashedly posting

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babiebom · 7 months

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Could you do A G N for shane please for kinktober

A/N: I hope you enjoy this!!

Tw: sexual content

Alphabet Post Masterlist

A- Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I feel like in the beginning, Shane would be trash at aftercare. He’s depressed, he hates himself, and quite frankly he is an alcoholic. You have to remind him that aftercare is a thing because after having sex it’s less post but clarity he finds you ugly and more post but clarity why don’t you find him repulsive, y’know? But after the relationship progresses and he heals mentally he is the KING of aftercare, and will not rest until he knows that you’re good and comfortable after everything is done. (Pillow talk becomes one of his favorite activities ngl)

G- Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

I think he is rather serious during sex, he is concentrating on getting you and himself off, he’s focused on the pleasure, and quite frankly if you laugh it will make him feel bad and he will no longer be in the mood. When he is more comfortable things can be more relaxed but even then he is very focused and serious.

N-No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Um… I honestly don’t think Shane would say no to anything other than things like scat and piss…just body fluids other than cum/pussy juice and spit he isn’t really a fan of. A turn off of his would probably be like…idk probably just a person that he deems just a little too gross for him. Like there’s not much he is opposed to.

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew #sdv headcanons #stardew headcanon #stardew valley headcanons #sdv hcs #sdv shane #stardew shane #stardew valley shane #stardew bachelors #stardew valley bachelors #sdv bachelors #sdv shitpost #sdv smut

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snailmail444 · 4 months

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ohhh, can you do hcs for what the sdv bachelors say during sex?

Bachelor Volume Headcannons

18+ 🌱 NSFW 🌱 MDNI

PART II of the double feature!!! Happy New Year lmao I hope you enjoy this filth 😈 shoutout to @hopefuloverfury who did a HOT bachelor volume headcannon list very recently that I ate UP. Check that out Here

Poll said post as you finish and I had this finished so here you are everyone. As always, MDNI, NSFW content under the cut.

Harvey-

💚 Kinda loud, tbh.

💚 I envision him as captain dad noise already, so I think during sex it carries over and he’s groaning and grunting these hot gravelly moans.

💚 Genuinely. I could go on about the sounds this man is sure to make. Because DAMN. Somebody get him into ASMR sex audios he’d make a fortune.

💚 Now that said I don’t see him as much of a dirty talker.

💚 It doesn’t come naturally to him. He’ll do a bit and try his best to appease you if you’re into it, and he’s definitely a person who could learn, but it’s never been easy for him and won’t be.

💚 Gets too in his head about if what he said was hot or if it was weird. Takes him out of it worrying that he’s taken you out of it. Which, relatable.

💚 But he does know through empirical evidence that his sex noises are hot, so he doesn’t hold back. Especially if you two are going at it rough, or you’re sucking him off, it’s obscene.

💚 Will praise you with that same sultry rasp, because that’s another thing he thinks is safely in the always-hot category.

💚 Such a good job baby, feels so good, etc. Can never go wrong.

💚 Loud to the point his voice cracks when he cums 😇

Elliott-

❤️ My hot take is that I think Elliott would say the filthiest things you’ve ever heard during sex.

❤️ HEAR ME OUT!!!

❤️ I just think that as a man who is incredibly well read he knows what’s hot. And he’s not afraid to say it, either.

❤️ Especially with some of those dime novels that are his guilty pleasure, he’s picked up a thing or two.

❤️ Of course it’s still in a very Elliott way, but he’s a dirty talk king.

❤️ He’ll be worshiping your body while he details everything he wants to do to you. How he’s going to mark you with hickies where everybody can see that you’re his, how hard he’s going to ravage you with his cock, how many times he’s going to make you cum, etc.

❤️ Matches it with equal praise and romantic lines, too. It’s all about balance, and he wants to fuck you like a beast while still reminding you that you’re precious to him.

❤️ Grunts and huffs and moans, but not a lot unless he’s right about to cum. Man’s got more important uses for his mouth!!

❤️ Kind of irrelevant, but I see him as the type to passionately fuck you against the door to his cabin or overtop his writing desk or deep into the mattress. It’s not often that the furniture isn’t creaking and knocking in time to his thrusts.

Alex-

🤎 Okay so another hot take. But I think Alex is secretly incredibly shy and romantic.

🤎 Empirical evidence includes: his heart events imply that he puts on the machismo front as a defense mechanism, and he was raised by the most lovey-dovey old people you’ve ever seen.

🤎 SO. I think he would be very sweet in the way he talks in bed.

🤎 Lots of softness and nerves, but he’s still kinda noisy.

🤎 Tries to muffle himself because he’s embarrassed about making too much noise, but he can’t help it.

🤎 He’ll be about to tell you how good you’re doing, how much he loves it, and his words will warp off into a whimper because it’s too much.

🤎 I feel very strongly that he is a whimperer. I’m sorry. It makes sense.

🤎 Especially with his insane physical endurance he ends up overstimulating himself because he can’t get enough.

🤎 Like he can go a third round, sure, but he’s overstimulated and his voice is cracking and his cheeks are bright pink with exertion.

🤎 Lowkey he’d love it though I mean let’s be real. Let’s be so real. He wants to come until he’s crying. And he will.

🤎 Please don’t come for me abt this it’s just my take.

Shane-

💙 The curse words. The curse words.

💙 Listen. This man is already somebody who swears a lot so in bed? He’s letting FLY.

💙 Fuck that’s so good, you’re so goddamn tight, holy shit that’s hot, et cetera.

💙 Not much for moans but he does grunt so like. Same difference?

💙 Like it’s not that he’s stifling himself he just grunts and groans and swears instead of moans

💙 No whimpering I’m afraid 😔

💙 But he makes UP in dirty talk good lord.

💙Since he’s not a mean person just prickly from his defenses he’s well practiced in being mean even when he’s not.

💙 So ladies gentlemen and those of us that know better, we’ve got the makings of the PERFECT mean dom

💙 Dirty little slut, you’re so fuckin’ pathetic for it, beg on your knees just for the privilege, I could Go On.

💙 Only like that if you want it of course, but like with his gravelly sex voice asking if you think you’ve earned the right to cum yet? Somebody take me AWAY.

💙 Cums with a bit of a yell.

Sam-

🩷 It��s been said before I know.

🩷 But I must also agree. Sam is the loudest in bed. Far and away.

🩷 Good LUCK getting him to shut up honestly, between his whines and whimpers and moans he’s either apologizing for his lack of control or thanking you profusely for letting him hit.

🩷 Because Sam genuinely can’t control himself when he’s fucking half his vocabulary consists of sorry. He wanted to do it slow and sweet, but fuck, you’re so hot and tight around his cock he’s pounding you instead and he’s really sorry but he just can’t help himself.

🩷 I don’t see him swearing much tbh, not unless he’s completely fuck drunk. If he’s not babbling some pseudo-polite good boy nonsense, he’s whining. Maybe the stray shit or fuck, but not to excess.

🩷 Also throws in a ton of compliments. You’re so hot, you feel so good, you sound so beautiful, and so on. I just see him as an open complimenter, and when his mental circuit board is on overload he’s unable to stop himself.

🩷 Gag this man. Do it. I dare you.

🩷 He’ll be moaning and whimpering and drooling all around the gag, his eyebrows drawn up and in, eyes pleading for you to let him moan properly.

🩷 The most pathetic man you’ve ever seen and all because he can’t whine for you. God somebody just take me away, lock me up.

Sebastian-

🖤 King of being amused by how turned on you are.

🖤 He’s chuckling, huffing, asking incredulous rhetorical questions like “yeah? Already?”

🖤 I could see him falling hard and fast, so he’s probably using his dry sense of humor to hide how fucking gone he already is.

🖤 Because emotional vulnerability isn’t his thing so it gives him some distance while still allowing him to enjoy how fucking hot and adorable everything you do is.

🖤 As far as his own sounds, though, he’s not moaning or whining a whole lot.

🖤 He does whisper a lot of swear words, and he’s HEAVY on the panting, as a consolation prize.

🖤 Dirty talk gets a little spicy with him just because he lives to tease. He’s not the heaviest dirty talker even on this list, but he can definitely turn up the heat.

🖤 Lowkey I can see him being a hand holder because he can’t help himself. He can only keep his affections at bay so much.

🖤 And I bring that up only because he’d lose his breath the moment your fingers twined with his and reward you with a soft, stuttering moan.

🖤 Definitely bites you to keep from making noise when he comes. He’d probably end up whining if he didn’t.

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