#yes i'm feeling very gay rn

[fluffy-ami]

um- mmmmen. men. boys. guys. ticklish men. men who wheeze. calm/stoic men who will start giggling as soon as you wiggle your fingers at them. guys who blush because of verbal teasing. feather ticklish bois. guys who like being chased. men who can ask for tickles. boys with ticklish ears. guys who would genuinely try to stay still for their ler. men who like both tickling others and being tickled. boys who are playful. mennnn. guys.

(If you're reading this you agree.)

❗Primarily NSFW/k¡nk blogs please DO NOT REBLOG this

#tickling #my stuff #ami mumbles #tickle thoughts #sfw tickling community #M E N #okay? #i'm sorry i'm having a moment #yes i'm feeling very gay rn #B E A F R A I D 👁️

[liesmyth]

Anon with the friend who's reading tlt on the reverse order: Yes, he knows he's being a lab rat, he doesn't keep motes on the books because he's very much a casual reader (and thus perfect for the experiment) and so far we have only done Nona The Ninth and The Unwanted Guest, plus some chapters of HTN & Doctor Sex. There's the slight chance of osmosis corruption because I occasionally reblog modern au memes on my main blog, which I think is how he got Palamedes' whole deal.

There's not much he guessed, and even less he guessed correctly. He did call the fact Crown and Ianthe are related a pleasant plot twist, and he initially thought John was Varun.

The most interesting guess he had, which he arrived through flawed means, was Paul's existence, and the fact Pyrrha had some sort of connection to Gideon The Ninth — mostly because he guessed the average Lyctorhood to be Camilla and Palamedes', and with the reference of Gideon and G1deon as 1) permanently dead, in a setting where he's aware necromancy exists and he thought zombies to be actual resurrected people 2) connected to Pyrrha, and 3) the fact Pyrrha had "some weird vibes" (he refused to elaborate) led him to thinking Pyrrha was half Gideon, half someone else, and the reason Kiriona was vaguely off-putting to people was because she didn't have a full soul. Anyways he did think the same would happen to Palamedes and Camilla, which it did, and that Kiriona was pissed at Pyrrha because of an ambiguous degree of relationship

We have paused rn, as the labrat experiment is in return for me reading a webcomic per book

Oh yeah also im doing this because i either dreamt a post proposing it up or actually saw it, and honestly i wanted to see how much biases and previous narrative impacted the relationship of the reader with tlt characters, their relationships, and worldbuilding, as i absorbed tlt by osmosis as an agender aroace. so yeah giving a gay guy tlt without previous context in the reverse order to complete the trifecta (lesbian woman reading it in the correct order, aroace agender getting to know it by osmosis and figuring out the plot best I could before reading it, gay guy reading it in reverse)

ANON THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK! @mayasaura and everyone who wanted a follow-up to the first part.

"Thought John was Varun at first" is soooo big brained actually! I'm always thinking about John's more RB-like traits. I'm also very amused that he cast Pyrrha as the zombie puppeteer, I bet he's going to love tiny Harrow walking around her dead parent's bodies for a decade.

I also feel like the worldbuilding in NtN is veeery different from the general #vibe of the first two books — it feels like an "anime filler arc" kind of sidequest plot — and I'm very curious if going from NtN to HtN is going to make the settings vibe changes feel stronger or weaker than reading it normally would.

Anyway, I love that you decided to do this, and please let us know what he thinks about HtN! I hope you enjoy the webcomic :D

#Anonymous #ask #elle tlt posting

[zaacoy]

Lego monkie kid season 4 spoilers ‼️

(heyyyyy note from after finishing writing all this out: this first one is just me going crazy over debatable freenoodles content in s4, you have been warned. Everything in here is /pos!! teehee)

WOW. OKAY. WHAHSJJSJnsjabsjanJSdWHHWJH????? The effect this show has on me is almost beyond my comprehension, not even really sure how to put this into words

iiiiiiiiiiii'll figure that stuff out when it isn't 3 am, it'll be a little rb thread whatever that's called on Tumblr

For rn can we please talk about how stRONGLY FREENOODLES WON WITH THIS SEASON????? WHAGAHT??????? ISHDKSJBSKX!!!!!!!!

FIRST FRSIT FIRST.

The FACT that tang KNOWS EXACTLY how Pigsy makes his noodles from memory if not by HEART??? He has no recipe on him and pigsy can't help he just????? KNOWS pigsy's noodles recipe. Something that is VERY important to him and is unique to his family??? And to which the ONLY other person we know of that also knows pigsy's recipe is mk. His adopted son???? The only people pigsy has EVER told his recipe to is his basically son mk and TANG. OR, POTENTIALLY, Tang has spent so much time sitting right by pigsy's side as he works, watching him indulge in his passion day in and day out to the point where he's just picked it up on his own?? EITHER WAY. HUSBAND BEHAVIOR.

"I'm your tangy!" he. he did not just say that. "I'm YOUR TANGY"????? 'YOUR' POSSESIVE. BASICALLY "IM YOURS". AND NOT YOUR Tang, TANGY. A PETNAME/NICKNAME. WITH THAT EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE????????? H. HWHWJGSJ???? HOW did they get away with this I genuinely wanna know. That is SO GAY. CATASTROPHICALLY GAY. "YOUR TANGY". I am dead on the floor.

"I have devoted my life to this man" elaborate on that. nonono keep going, what did you mean by that. How do you platonically devOTE YOUR LIFE TO ANOTHER MAN????? THAT IS THE MOST OBVIOUS INDIRECT WAY YOU CAN SAY YOU'RE MARRIED. THIS E N T I R E SCENE HOW DID THEY GET AWAY WITH THIS???? HOW do you a man devote your life to another man in a nongay way, Tang. Asking for a friend I just wanna know

The look of awe. He is literally stunned. No fear no nothing just. woww what is my husband doing. Gay gay homosexual.

what.

THE.

FUCK.

In. In what UNIVERSE is leaping into someone's arm, NUZZLING AGAINST THEM BECAUSE YOU'RE SO HAPPY TO SEE THEM AGAIN, AND THEN STAYING CURLED UP IN THEIR ARMS ,BOTH OF YOU BEAMING AT ONE ANOTHER, NOT GAY. I. That's. I'm. HfhdhsggdwghwWHAWT???? They are so married. They are so gay for each other. I. I cannot even fathom. Not even going to get INTO THAT GIGGLE WHAT WAS THAAAAAAT.

Slight side note, glad to see a head canon validated! The little nuzzle thing was a cute little gesture that I've always hc'ed onto Tang pretty much from the beginning of my freenoodlesshipping journey. Watching it HAPPEN in canon??? Feels good >:3 He's a snuggler fr

almost got a 2 for one, I hc tang to be the kind of person that doesn't really stutter or close off when he gets flustered he just starts laughing. It'll start out as soft chuckles and giggling but it just grows deeper and louder the more flustered he gets. Pigsy, being completely enamored with his man, tends to fall into a laughing fit with him and then they just become a flustered happy giggling heep in each other's arms. Sooo close, I won't stretch Tang's little giggle so far as to say that that hc is also basically canon, WILL use this scene to justify it tho :3c

"it's beautiful" AS A RESPONSE TO PIGSY KICKING ASS??? HOW DO YOU NONROMANTICALLY CALL YOUR "FRIEND" BEAUTIFUL JUST CASUALLY. UNPROMPTED. OUT OF THEIR EARSHOT. WHAT????? Why. Why are they so?? wghshdj

Some quick fire more general freenoodles moments:

"Oh, Pigsy where are you?" The first person he thinks to look for is Pigsy? Pigsy specifically? Not sandy or monkie king, pigsy. mmmmhm.

Talking back to a demon that is cooking you as we speak by praising your definitely not husband the entire time? Very straight. That's a very straight look they're giving each other too. Yes, very (/sar)

Just. How happy and excited he looks watching pigsy cook and get back into his thing? They're so wholesome. Old supportive married couple

"Doesn't that moron know we're his family?" Dadsszszs

the look of support and encouragement. They're so soft they make my heart hurt

:glance:

Trying to support each other, quite literally having each other's backs when in danger

Holding onto your husband and trying to protect your husband by extending an arm out in front of him respectively

Pigsy doing his thing and Tang being COMPLETELY there for it. Look at him. That content prideful expression on his face. Pride in his husband. Two kick ass husbands and their two unimpressed, frustrated children. Also find it cute how Pigsy made a bunch of food and then actively weaponized it but still went out of his way to make Tang in specific a nice bowl. Not the other two, just Tang.

IN CONCLUSION: 🏳️‍🌈🐷🍜

It is 4 aaaaaammmmmmm, goodnightttt prepare for more delusional ramblings later in the week I have so many tang thought jfjfn

#TLDR: zaacoy goes off their rocker and explodes about freenoodles #They are so real to me #lmk season 4 #lmk s4 spoilers #monkie kid season 4 #Sorry for the really long insane rambling #It will happen again 😔 #lmk freenoodles #freenoodleshipping #Zaacoy rambles🌙

[34saveme34]

SMG3's search history - what could it be???

my mind isn't the best rn (I'm sick) but this once again on my mind

And I think it's a bit trickier than we think but I'll try my best to list the possibilities

some important things to note about his search history:

Luigi liked whatever he was looking at

4 understood it faster than Mario. note the "What, I don't get it-"

emotional reactions 3 tends to have certain things (will get into it more)

the fact that he only really acknowledged 4 when he went back with the memory wiper

Mario commenting "what the hell was that search history" I hate you, Mario, you could've said something more interesting about it, that could give something away off of it.

So yeah, these were the things I wanted to point out

since Luigi liked whatever he was looking at, and we know this man likes men the most, especially big men, I think we can easily assume it was something gay. I'm sorry Jenny SlipperyT truthers, besides not like there isn't any gay mc porn so, still a chance

HOWEVER

something really important I want to point right back at "What, I don't get it-" Mario's comment is very specific here. If it was like raunchy ass hardcore gay porn, he wouldn't say that. He would've screamed immediately, being freaked out. So it's something REALLY weird that isn't immediately obvious. However 4 and Meggy knew way faster which gives away that maybe whatever 3 was looking at they were more familiar with.

Now, there's quite a few things that people in this show we've seen freaking out over. One being especially true is fanfiction, but

and here comes in my 3's preference thing- he didn't seem to like that stuff either, not even for a single second

However may I present to you..... something that might blow your mind...... something you maybe didn't think of

THIS episode

and actually the part that the thumbnail shows

when they are looking at the cakes

you might be like "But, dude, he is also flabbergasted about it?"

Really?

this ALWAYS struck me as odd

right after seeing that stuff, Mario is understandably under trauma while 3 immediately goes into planning to make cakes like that of himself

and Mario's reaction makes it feel like 3 wants to make them like the last ones, like yes you can interpret it in a different way, but my way of seeing it is also just as valid

aka the idea that 3 likes some weird ass shit, perhaps sometimes things that might not come off as sexual at first, or even cursed in some sense.

Now... the point you are waiting for me to address. The fact that he only really focused on 4. That gives me gay vibes, Idk how else to look at it. The idea that he was mainly scared of 4 seeing his search history doesn't help either. It only makes him look more gay. Like Mario and Meggy were literally right there, he could've said "Hi guys" he didn't have any noticable reason to only address 4. So what makes sense? That his search query had to do with 4 in some way. No other way to go about it. There's a thin sliver of chance that he only addressed 4 because he did search this weird shit on his computer and not anyone else's. But I don't think that's enough ground to make it more valid than it being connected to 4. Like, this reminds me of someone denying 4's queerness saying that the line "what will you do when you bring over a girl and/or boy?" as boy relates to the homies in a platonic way, as if, dude, keep being homophobic.

so what do we know?

it's gay

it isn't immediately noticable that it might be sexual in nature

it connects to 4 heavily

Now I present to you...... The combination of wonderbread and smg4

the wonderbread kind of fetish thing when you don't immediately realise there's a fetish going on, which fits well with 3's rather interesting taste

which might for example suggest perhaps characters that look similar to 4 in specific situation, it can go many ways but it has to be gay, considering Luigi's reaction, canonically said he is scared of women (in SMG4's search history)!

so yes what I'm saying is that 3 has some sort of weird fetish regarding 4 that definitely looks gay, he would definitely want to hide something like with his life after all

Although I still find it weird how comfortable 3 was to search that stuff at 4's computer

also might I point to also the fact he APPARENTLY has his credit card linked to 4's pc as well, as revealed during the 2023 wotfi prep stream??? he is AWFULLY comfortable at 4's pc

I don't know why he would that, like... he isn't actually stupid, were his feelings making him this stupid? Was he getting some kind of sick pleasure out of doing it at 4's room? We may never know, considering how stubborn 3 is and also a big damn liar

#smg34 #smg4 #smg3

[jentasticart]

ok but I'm actually starting to get pissed off and annoyed with this weird family dynamic stuff they're doing in mk1 just to try to stop the gay ships that's been around for a while now.

like subscorp (Kuai x Hanzo), bitomas, subsmoke (Kuai x Tomas. I'm not too much of a fan of this ship but I'll mention it anyway) and shaoko, idk if there's anything else but lmk if I missed anything I guess.

but Imma mainly talk about my main ship here; bitomas.

I would like to add that I'm not a proshipper in any way cus fuck that shit. so don't frame me as one.

this is the only recent game where they're both in it together but they make them step bros yet I've seen people make mk1 subscorp and no one is really complaining about it and it gets a bunch of likes, which is WORSE than mk1 bitomas because it's ACTUAL incest. mk1 bitomas isn't incest, they're not related to each other in any way. they're not even the same race.

but yk what's not fucking fair? THAT THE SUBSMOKE SHIP IS MORE ACCEPTED THAN BITOMAS THAT THE ACTUAL VOICE ACTORS SHIP IT FFS

BI FUCKING DISMISSES IT, HE DOESN'T SEE HIM AS A DAMN BROTHER

BUT IN SUBSMOKE THEY ACTUALLY DO ADDRESS EACH OTHER AS BROTHERS, HOW CAN ONE BE ACCEPTED MORE THAN THE OTHER WHEN IT'S THE SAME DAMN THING

this is literally how I'm feeling rn about this

two people who ARE NOT related to each other in any damn way is NOT incest, doesn't matter if they grew up together or not.

so if two people were dating before and their parents got together and married, then those two people shouldn't be together anymore cus they would be step siblings? that's fucking stupid and you guys know it.

in a way they're doing the stupid thing like how some people think liulao is, yk the whole "they're cousins/brothers" but they're not, it was confirmed they're not but people don't wanna do their damn research.

all nrs cares about is the straight pairings and lesbian ones cus they don't get as much backlash as two men being together.

===.._ _..===.._ _..===

so I got a little hc/story for y'all:

sometime after the brothers' dad takes Tomas in, Tomas falls for Bi and his whole idolization for Bi is a coverup to try to hide his crush on him from Bi and Kuai. yes he gets close with Kuai as in best friends but he feels this is something he should keep to himself for now.

Bi wasn't actually always mean to Tomas, at some points he might have been cold to him sometimes but that's just Bi, just cus he was cold to him, doesn't mean he didn't care for him.

but then at some point Bi-Han fell for Tomas, probably starting in his teen years, but since he didn't know how to express it or deal with it, he acts how he acts towards him like how he does in mk1. it's because he never felt this way before towards anyone, let alone a guy. so he pretty much acts kinda like a tsundere in a way. keep in mind, even before this, Bi still didn't see Tomas as his brother and Tomas obviously didn't see him that way either cus of his crush on him.

all those years their feelings for each other got stronger and stronger, which made Bi more cold to Tomas, which was the time he told him that line in that one scene in mk1 about him not being brothers or Lin Kuei.

but after the betrayal of Bi-Han, while Kuai and Tomas were making the Shirai Ryu, Tomas snuck back to the Lin Kuei at night to see Bi-Han.

they fought because Bi started it, he did think Tomas was there to kill him or was there for some revenge but all Tomas wanted to do was talk. after the fight, Tomas managed to get Bi to stop.

they talked for awhile, Tomas asking the question as to why Bi-Han did all of this in the first place, why he was cold to him, why he got so much colder after all the years. Bi was hesitant to tell him, especially now since he thinks its too late to let him know the truth, he probably ruined all chances he had with him now.

but he did tell him anyway, he told him the truth, everything. from the very beginning to now. Tomas wasn't expecting this, he didn't think Bi felt the same way towards him but was he really telling the truth about the other stuff?

Bi-Han backed away after he told him, he understood that he might not believe his words anymore. Tomas stayed silent on Bi's bed, thinking, before he spoke and told him that he should tell Kuai this truth even if Kuai might not believe it.

he paused for a moment before he spoke, agreeing with Tomas. he then called him to Bi's bed, Bi was hesitant because he wasn't sure of it, he didn't know if he should.

after a few minutes, Bi joined him in bed and Tomas held him, confessing his love to him too, even after everything, he still has the same love for him like the first time he fell for him.

they wind up being together in secret for months as Tomas helped Kuai with the clan. during that time, Bi did told the truth to Kuai too and apologized for it. Kuai is a bit hesitant to forgive him right now but he will consider it. he will still work on his own clan as it still feels like the right thing to do.

===.._ _..===.._ _..===

so ye if you don't like it, plz just block me, cus Imma ship them since others are shipping mk1 subsmoke with little problems, I'm starting to not care at this point because of it but I will put tags you can block in those posts to not see it

#bitomas #bi han #tomas vrbada #sub zero #smoke mk #noobsmoke #subscorp #kuaizo #kuanzo #shaoko #general shao #reiko

[uhgood-girl]

i haven't had a chance to fully form this thought yet so bear with me while i explore my own brain but my immediate response to this is i think two things can be true at the same time.

this is me playing devil's advocate with both you and myself, tbh. if you do not enjoy borderline pedantic over thinking, i recommend you turn back now.

i watched the entirety of standing next to you with my jaw on the floor. beyond seeing jk in what i would consider to be the epitome of his element, the arrival of all that experience and hard work and raw talent finely honed, culminating in the absolute pop perfection that is both that song and performance... well, i've made a joke on here before about my brains inability at this stage to not insert jikook into things. i could maybe help it if i wanted to (i can stop at anytime, says the alcoholic 🥴) but i don't want to because i'm having fun and i've made friends with the brain worms. they're my brain worms, who are you take them from me.

i have also mentioned jikook being it's own form of pattern recognition drug for mine, obviously, and probably other's more neuro-spicy tendencies. once you have seen and unlocked the code, it's really hard to turn the goggles off.

so let's talk about patterns. what is a pattern? a pattern is lmao no, i'm kidding, i don't think i need to define this for you but i guess when i say pattern here i'm referring to what a lot of people often call coincidences. (have i lost you already bc of this word? i know people throw it around often here, but again, bear with me) coincidences can become patterns if they repeat enough. how many coincidences does it take to form a pattern? three, i believe, is the universally accepted number but that feels so small when i type it out, much less think about it, tbh. but i suppose in the discourse of coincidences, something that reoccurs without apparent connection, (traveling strangers who keep ending up in the same cities together, you and your friend always texting each other at the exact same time, two people in a band who keep mysteriously referencing things that connect them in a particular sort of light) bc of the unlikelieness of their serendipitous nature, it makes more sense. and because i want to discuss this in a more tangible form and i believe humans to be meddling by nature, i think coincidences become patterns, beyond the number three, when intent enters the equation.

was that a very long way to say that despite the fact that jk didn't write any of the lyrics himself and is quoted in the article above as telling people to not take things too literally that i'm still going to intuit some autobiographical meaning from them? well, yes. i guess so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

because ✨context✨(glass closet and comp het in particular). a context that i fully admit i am abscribing to the situation myself but if you're reading this i assume you're already in this boat with me, it's your context too, at least tangentially (GUILTY, your honor) by association. the entirety of any jikook argument has to exist in this space and to have gotten here at all required taking some liberties, a certain reading between the lines that is a tightrope of wanting to respect what someone says outloud and at face value while being aware few things are ever black and white (minus the infamous couple in question bah bum tiss 🥁).

if it feels different to you bc it's something he explicity expressed, that's totally fair. i've been back and forth about it a few times myself and maybe i'll feel differently tomorrow. but rn, this is where i'm at and this is all just spitballing at the end of the day, no?

in an attempt to not be accused of only picking and choosing the lyrics that suit my (gay) agenda, it feels worth pointing out that the lines i find applicable to jikook are not literal. as in while i fully believe jk could probably do anything he set his big, beautiful heart out to do, leaving someone's body golden like the sun and moon is unlikely. ( the jikook relevance is in it's choice, why that particular metaphor) and despite being more in the realm of possibility, i don't really believe he's fucking seven days a week either. his agreeance to the use of female pronouns in some songs and even the women in his music videos are a. the comp het standard for this worldwide pop boy takeover (inarguably) and b. don't automatically negate any potential underlying queerness of the artist himself. so when he sings she (is there even anything in the lyrics beyond the pronoun itself that could only refer to a cis woman? hell, does "she" only have to refer to a cis woman in this day and age? jimin is v in touch with his anima these days, don't kink shame :P) I'm taking that as an artistic liberty the same way I'm taking something like it's deeper than the rain. and the latter rain line only stands out to me because, again, broader context.

he didn't write any of the song lyrics but he was there for every step of the production and still approved what actually made it on to the album. he didn't write there for you, the song in gcf tokyo either but i dare you to go find a jikook argument about that video that doesn't list that song and its lyrics as evidence. he didn't write them but it's definitely something he cares about and is very aware of. i doubt anything was chosen without some degree of thought. which brings us full circle back to coincidences vs patterns and intent.

do i think the lyrics a lot of us collectively recognized as jikook coded, even if you respectfully don't want to read that far into it, were a coincidence this late in the game? ain't no way lmao. our jikook roads are paved with these sort of "coincidences." you think they weren't apart of the appeal? helped boost it right to main track status? maybe if it had just been the lyrics, without any of the imagery in the video (i would love to know how much creative direction he had here too, i hope we find out) to back it up, but between that not straight red line of fate, the black swan like wings, the dancing in front of the sun painting, the two households, both alike in dignity, in fair verona where we lay our scene aka the forbidden love vibes, etc. - it's too much for this sad little hyper-fixated romantic queer, personally lol.

so, i think two things can be true at the same time! i'm sure a lot of the songs and their implications have no autobiographical meaning to them beyond a universally relatable conversation and narrative about love, i do believe him. i think based on all the responses and feedback his first releases got, making a statement such as the one in the article was a good? pr move if nothing else too and definitely in line with what we have come to expect around an industry that bts is both sort of moving away from but still restricted by at this stage. if you've read any of my other ramblings so far on this site, you'll know i operate from a place of the more smoke screen around all this (this being a potential romantic relationship between jikook) the better, bc at the end of the day i want all of bts more than anything safe, happy, and free to pursue whatever creative fancy they can dream. them building a level of plausible deniability into this sort of stuff protects them. i will remain a broken record on that point.

but bc of the larger context of jikook as a whole and my belief that jk is both clever and also a romantic at heart, i'm going to take these crumbs and go. 🚗💨 i'm not in any sort of who can be the more superior, rational delulu competition, we're all in our own little clown cars no matter your chosen dressings until proven otherwise. that's the nature of this whole shebang, bby. 🤠👉👉

def feel free to come respectfully argue with me though, i'm never here to convince anyone but i enjoy these conversations and i love other people's perspective. are you ignoring the standing next to you jikook bait?

#jikook #kookmin #she's back at it again folks #got a taste of being loud and now doesn't know how to shut up #in this essay i

[felloweeper]

differences from book -> series: the cufflinks.

context: [december 23, 1953] this is the scene where we're first introduced to the cufflinks. it's christmas and they're serving post-coital realness (i have no other way of explaining this rn).

this is one of the most dramatic differences between the book and the series, because what on earth. this is such a tender moment of rare openness from hawk in the series. it's such a clear declaration of love with the implication of possession and a what's-mine-is-yours kind of deal.

we get the same feeling in the book but in a much darker tone. we see, first of all, how small and undeserving tim feels in the presence of hawk. i'd go as far as to say tim uses the cufflinks to self-harm. "the way one forgets a pain in one place by introducing another somewhere else." tim is actively chasing the pain of loving this man away in the form of causing bodily harm to himself. (🚩 x a million.)

yes, there's tenderness in hawk giving the cufflinks to tim and going as far as putting them into his dress shirt himself -- but the number of times tim doesn't even let himself believe that it's a special thing for him is awful. he thinks he's so undeserving that, in the end, he convinces himself that they were his reward for not showing his emotions! and to add hawk's passiveness with "'i'm going to be late, skippy.'" ✋ don't get me started. the coldest cherry on top -- agh!

overall, this scene makes me feel sick. it's not at all like the series -- and thank god for that! the show made it so much more heartwarming and loving. they look happy, they look like they both love what the cufflinks symbolize -- they adore each other!

context: [april 7, 1954] this never made it into the series, but tim has a boss named tommy mcintyre who is very aware of the situation between tim and hawk, but doesn't really mind it. (this character kind of grew into the roy cohn moment which i thought was ridiculous but this is not the post for that.) klein is another assistant to a different senator who pops up like thrice when they're talking politics.

i really liked tommy as a character, i felt he had really great moments in the book i wished they'd kept in the series, but oh well. again, he knew about tim and hawk and would go as far as to tease them about it. anyway, this is a great example of tim's lies that "people like himself learned to construct a dozen times a day."

context: [december 25, 1954/april 22, 1957] tim is home for the holidays with his sister, frances, at their grandmother's. frances is older and is married with children.

how do i... like how do i even begin.

i put it best in my notes:

honestly, favorite character? absolutely tim's sister. she does everything i wish i could have done for tim -- she's such a supportive force of nature for him, it's so nice to see.

in the show, she's there for him while he's suffering from aids, so she's fully aware of the fact that he's gay and completely devotes all of her time to him anyway. in the book, she shows this unconditional love toward him in the best way she can when she recognizes he's in love with another man.

this is heartbreaking because, in my opinion, that was their escape. she was there and so willing to welcome hawk into her home -- without having ever met him -- because she saw how much tim loved and treasured him. she was ready to love him, too, and to include him in their family. i wonder, sometimes, what would have happened if she had actually ever met him. if that would've ever made a difference in hawk's decisions and the fate of their relationship.

and because tim can't be normal and recognize his self-worth for one second:

also! the difference in using the cufflinks to inflict pain! tim uses it to distract himself, but she uses it to anchor him to the present and pay attention to what she's telling him.

context: [october 16, 1991] hawk is on the phone with his old employee, mary, where she's telling him details of tim's life and death.

..........................

that's all i have to say about that! 😊

#fellow travelers #tim laughlin #hawkins fuller #the cufflinks #book vs tv #book vs series #mentions of self harm #sorry this is a bit overdue! hopefully worth the wait #partially wanted to wait to see if they would mention it in the finale #and have also been just catching up on life #as always lmk what you think!

[aloeverified]

i’m curious do u have any headcanons abt wayne and raj… they are the characters ever

yes 💪

their fullnames are raj kapoor & wayne graham (the most candian name ever for the most candian character ever).

wayne was always way taller than raj growing up, but now they're roughly around the same height. it's just not obvious to most people since wayne wears boots and raj sticks with his trusty converse. raj is just pushing 5'10 and wayne's a little over 5'11.

raj has two younger siblings who are twin brother and sister and are much younger than he is. wayne is an only child, but their families are so intertwined that they basically consider him their older brother too.

they're juniors in high school (assuming that's how it works in canada, too lazy to google it rn) and are about seventeen. they don't look or act super young, but they still got the "when i'm older" type of vibe that most people who are right about to graduate don't really have.

they've been best friends for a while, but not quite childhood best friends. i think they met during gym class of sixth grade and just instantly hit it off due to their shared interests in sports and humor.

raj's parents are first generation immigrants so they're not completely fluent in english and have a bit of an accent when they talk. since his moms raised him to be the most highly of gentlemen, wayne asked raj to teach him a bit of telugu so he could make polite conversation with them whenever he came over without all the pressure being on them. that was his first step to almost being immediately adopted by them.

this actually caused them to both realize they really enjoy studying languages. they continued studying telugu together, with raj tutoring wayne. wayne also decided to take up french classes early, and raj had his parents sign him up to learn the basics of other southern indian languages they knew. they both view this as a helpful skill for when they're international hockey stars, of course.

they live in a decently smaller-sized town, so despite not being neighbors, they still find a way to be at each other's house every other day. they switch off depending on what they're feeling, and their parents learned to accept that they're a package deal that comes and goes whenever they please.

since his parents discovered he was gay through the show rather than raj actually coming out to him, they — along with wayne's moms — thought it would be funny to turn his coming home party from the show into a coming out party as well. raj realized this when he cut into the cake and it was rainbow inside.

his family was very adamant about showing raj how supportive they are. he wasn't sure why, as their best friends were a lesbian couple and his best friend was the son of said couple, but they still repeatedly told him how proud of him they were and how much they loved him. the only pushback he received was his nani complaining about how he wasn't allowed to date until he was thirty and that this bowie boy was ruining that.

teacher hate these two. they never shut up in class, will ditch their assigned partners to work with each other, never get their work done, and yet still manage to have good grades (because they know they won't be able to play otherwise). no one understands how they do it.

they always have the most over-the-top cartoony outfits for spirit weeks. even the asb and student council kids find it embarrassing how much school spirit they have.

besides their accidental menace behavior, they never actually get into any real trouble at school. the only time they've ever gotten suspended was when wayne wanted to test his new padding gear and rammed himself into the lockers at full force and nearly killed himself while raj recorded.

because of their ridiculous stunts they like to post, wayne has a bit of a following on social media. he doesn't really do it to be an influencer or for attention or anything, he just likes being able to look back on all the fun moments he and rajie have together. that's one of the reasons they were so eager to be on total drama, to showcase their awesome friendship and have the tapes of all their fun challenges together.

they work part-time at the local ice rink, where they were able to land jobs due to their skills on the ice. they even work the same shift most of the time since they have the same availability hours, although they switch off between standing behind the counter and supervising on the ice. sometimes they both get to help out with the little league hockey teams, though, which they both really enjoy.

#asks #total drama #td headcanons #td raj #raj kapoor #td wayne #wayne graham #rayne #wayraj #<- can be read as platonic or romantic #not a lot of romantic undertones though but im open to come up w some #ik i mentioned bowie but i feel like there wasnt enough of him to tag #maybe ill make a bowraj post soon #aloeverants #also sorry this is late ive been working all week 😿 #stunfiskz

[feelingpure]

“I'm sure you don't want to come, considering what a fucking self-righteous bore you've turned into!”

When I catch Hawkins Fuller:

Further live reactions under the cut, because wuifdbivfyisvdtusdyif I need to yell about whatever tf else is gonna take place.

THEY GOT MY BOY DOING BLOW Y'ALL 😭 (ok it's the late 70s so yes everyone is doing coke, and he didn't do it like a novice, but I'm still blaming them idc). And the finger sucking... we'll come back to that at some point lmao. What is going awn?

Ok, now he's been fed pills on the dance floor. 😂 Anyway the soundtrack is banging, so now i'm like (booging to forget):

Not this being-jealous-of-craig thing pls.

Tim is... not looking like he's having a good time anymore. 😭

And something's happening with the rest on the dancefloor. I'm feeling very anxious.

Marcus and Frankie having a domestic at his work place. “I have news for you. You are a big chocolate gay man.” and his student is watching in the background. 👀 Ok Marcus, time to confront some things (I hope)! And then he said THAT, and then he did THAT. Omg, the way Frankie yeeted him 😭 everyone is in pain.

Skippy is very 💅 here. And I can't decide if I fully hate Craig or... he's v annoying but also lol?

The boyfriends are fighting! Aaaaahhh, GET HIM TIM!

Ok suddenly something very different is happening... also that Tim/Hawk kiss, yes! (it was a lil slutty, but that's all I've been wanting). OH I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS WTF IS HAPPENING OMG WFQOVBSDVBSFJKB!

Nvm... it's not happening, even though Hawk tried to force their heads together like a kid playing with 2 dolls. Cause look at his face peaking from between theirs hahah. 😂 Anyway... WHEN DID CRAIG TAKE HIS SHORTS OFF LMAOOO?! They just weren't there all of a sudden??!!

WAIT I'M ACTUALLY SCREAMING. IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING NOW (via some v questionable words from Hawk but).

👀👀👀 WAIT WHAT-- WHVBDLAD. So Hawk can get it up if Skippy is there. Alright. And Craig's dirty foot just hanging out right there as they kiss aaahhh lol. Ok, apparently I've hit the image limit haha, but there's a lot of limbs in places... and someone is calling me rn so I have to pause wtf. 😭😭😭

So I came back after I finished watching it and. Well well, that was a terrible time to pause ietbhfvebigadwn!!! Anyway, I'd keep blabbing on next to more caps if it'd let me.

But just... that whole episode was A LOT. The way things escalated, the way scenes turned upside down and then back again. The explosive husband arguments! The ending to that threesome was wild. The final 70s Tim/Hawk scene. OUCH.

Yes, Hawk's been hurt but. Hm, I have a lot of feelings, will probs have to be a separate post if I get the chance. There's too much to dissect. All in all; I am a Tim Laughlin warrior, and if you're yelling at him Hawk then I'm gonna have to yell at you.

#no cause i've just had to pause and pace the room for a minute #fellow travelers #ft spoilers #1x07 #hawkins fuller #tim laughlin #hawk x tim #tim x hawk #😤😤😤 #i just... #i can't do this #i am seething #tim run! #ugh complex flawed character yes i know but #and he's going through a time atm #i'm still mad at him tho #the next couple of scenes after this one have me spiraliiiiiing omfg #accidental #live blogging #after finishing the episode i'm still mad at him. just for slightly different reasons haha

[mulletmitsuya]

Og Black Dragons Groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mentions of sex, also shinwaka? (so if you don't like that then yeah)

Desc: Shinichiro re-evaluates his "dating" pool

Takeomi: and then we banged

Benkei: great 🙂

Wakasa: you're lying but ok

Takeomi: i'm not

Takeomi: i had sex

Takeomi: i'm very good at sex

Takeomi: she enjoyed it

Benkei: we believe you

Takeomi: nah cause i feel like you don't

Shinchiro: hey besties😁

Takeomi: yo

Takeomi: did you hear about the great sex i had

Wakasa: liar

Takeomi: ok virgin

Wakasa: do i look like a virgin?

Wakasa: i'm the hottest person here

Takeomi: debatable

Takeomi: i could snap you like a twig

Wakasa: ok black lungs having ass

Benkei: hi Shin

Benkei: what's up

Shinichiro: so you guys know how women aren't fond of me?

Wakasa: yes

Takeomi: yes

Benkei: yes

Shinichiro: wow guys

Shinichiro: you could have protested even a little bit

Benkei: but

Benkei: it's the truth

Takeomi: yeah why would we lie to you

Shinichiro: ok fine ig :(

Shinichiro: but i've come to a realisation!

Takeomi: the dumbest shit is about to come out of your mouth i just know it

Wakasa: remember Shin

Wakasa: think before you type

Shinichiro: man! you guys are mean

Shinichiro: but i still love you

Wakasa: ew

Benkei: 👍❤

Takeomi: lol gay

Shinichiro: that brings me to my next point actually!

Shinichiro: i think i'm gonna take a break from women rn

Wakasa: finally. very tired of you crying into my shoulder for hours straight

Wakasa: you're so ugly when you cry

Benkei: to focus on yourself? proud of you bro. you don't need anyone, just yourself💪

Shinichiro: no silly

Shinichiro: i'm think i'm gonna move on to men!

Wakasa: i-

Wakasa: i didn't expect that

Benkei: ...

Benkei: oh

Benkei: OH

Benkei: really?

Takeomi: HUH

Takeomi: THAT'S ILLEGAL

Shinichiro: i'm a gang leader 😕

Shinichiro: i do illegal stuff all the time. I can be gay

Wakasa: this is actually really funny

Wakasa: he gave up on the gender

Wakasa: wow

Wakasa: anyway

Wakasa: are there any dudes you're into?

Shinichiro: hmm

Shinichiro: kinda?

Benkei: we support you all the way Shin 😊

Shinichiro: oh my god

Shinichiro: Benkei are you flirting with me rn

Shinichiro: i mean

Shinichiro: if a relationship is what you want then who am i to say no

Takeomi: dude??

Wakasa: he barely did anything Shinchiro💀

Benkei: uhm

Benkei: well you see

Benkei: that's not exactly what i meant🙁

Shinichiro: haha lol i know that, i was joking haha lol

Wakasa: dude

Wakasa: how are you so pathetic?💀

Wakasa: i mean that in the nicest way possible i swear

Takeomi: you being nice is pushing someone in front of a truck because "ugly people shouldn't exist, i was helping him"

Wakasa: your just mad because it was you lol

Benkei: LETS ALL CALM DOWN

Benkei: STOP FIGHTING

Shinchiro: BRO U SCARED ME WHY DID U SCREAM ALL OF THE SUDDEN

Benkei: to get my message across

Wakasa: Benkei you've become a softie

Benkei: you too

Wakasa: no, i still brutalize people, just without your knowledge

Takeomi: liar

Shinichiro: no one's a wussy i think we're all very brave and very strong people

Takeomi: you are neither of those things

Benkei: stop

Benkei: he's brave

Wakasa: he was literally weeping when we first fought him

Wakasa: we were standing there like 🤨

Shinichiro: there was sand in my eyes i've told you multiple times now :/

Takeomi: no you're just a bitch boy

Wakasa: you talk too much for someone who's that ugly

Benkei: Omi isn't ugly

Benkei: why is your default personality being cruel

Wakasa: it's not being cruel i'm just being real, sorry you guys can't handle me

Takeomi: ok ice princess

Shinichiro: Takeomi isn't ugly guys

Shinchiro: would totally bang

Wakasa: ?

Takeomi: fr???

Takeomi: thanks Shin

Takeomi: that's why you my main homie

Wakasa: *homo

Takeomi: he didn't mean it in a gay way

Benkei: but...

Benkei: nevermind

Wakasa: a man saying he'd bang you isn't gay???

Takeomi: no?

Takeomi: not if it's a homie

Takeomi: right Shin?

Shinichiro: i mean

Shinichiro: i meant in a gay way yeah

Shinichiro: sorry bro

Benkei: there's nothing wrong with it Shin

Takeomi: you want me homosexualy???????

Wakasa: you're both so fucking stupid

Benkei: ok maybe today we should set Shin up on a blind date or something??

Benkei: it's evident he's getting desperate if he would bang Omi

Benkei: no offense

Takeomi: i'm offended😐

Benkei: BUT I SAID NO OFFENSE

Takeomi: IT MEANS NOTHING WHEN YOU LITERALLY SAY SOMETHING OFFENSIVE THOUGH???

Wakasa: setting him up on a blind date is a recipe for disaster

Wakasa: just do what you did with everyone else

Wakasa: why does there need to be a different approach?

Shinichiro: you're right

Wakasa: word

Shinichiro: Wakasa you're very handsome and i want to put your small, muscular body in my arms

Shinichiro: you smell really nice and i like your cynical smile

Shinichiro: and you're really mean but most of the time i enjoy it

Shinichiro: i think i'm in love with you

Shinichiro: will you go out with me?

Benkei: 😧

Wakasa: huh

Wakasa: r u srs..?

Wakasa: ...

Wakasa: ...

Wakasa: i have to go mop the ceiling

Wakasa: uh

Wakasa: yeah

*Wakasa has gone off line*

Takeomi: SHIN IS THAT HOW YOU FLIRT WITH PEOPLE????

Takeomi: LMAO AHAHAHA WHAT DID I JUST READ

Takeomi: THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING

Takeomi: YOU SHOULD BE UTTERLY HUMILIATED

Benkei: Shin, uhm, maybe don't be descriptive about what you wanna do with the person when you ask them out?

Benkei: it's ...😕

Benkei: BUT A FOR EFFORT!!

Shinichiro: i'm unlovable aren't i

Shinichiro: it's fine

Shinichiro: i'm gonba go to tbe psrk abs chiln

Shinichiro: al alone

Takeomi: r your tears blocking your vision💀

Shinichiro: no

Dm between Shin and Waka

Wakasa: you caught me off gaurd

Wakasa: we can go out if you want ig

Shinichiro: is this a prank :/

Wakasa: no

Wakasa: pick me up at 8

Shinichiro: oh

Shinichiro: REALLY????

Shinichiro: OK

Shinichiro: DOES THIS MEAN YOU LOVE ME BACK

Wakasa: don't push it

Shinichiro: :(

Wakasa: bro i like you calm down

Shinchiro: i'll take it!!

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers manga spoilers #tokyo revengers manga #tokyo revengers texts #tokrev #tokyo revengers groupchat #sano shinichiro #imaushi wakasa #arashi keizou #benkei #akashi takeomi #black dragons #i think benkei is a big teddybear #i made shin as cringe as possible sorry 💀

[annabellelupin]

thoughts I've had while re reading poa as a marauders fan, part one (chapters 1 - 4)

(id just like to point out this is my first time reading the books since middle school and first time I've read the books since I became a marauders fan in 2020)

chapter 1

- ok so ye the Weasleys are really poor, but if they're "extremely poor" you'd figure they'd use their money for something other than a vacation

-I forgot sweet little hedwig existed djdjdjdkdjd

-someone please eat the rat

-let the future cat have him pleaseeeee

-why did I start to dislike hermione so much again??? maybe it's just movie hermione I hate and I can't remember the differences between the two

chapter 2

-why are most of the antagonistic characters portrayed as fat and why is the fact that dudley is obese brought up so many fucking times like that seems pretty fat phobic of you Rowling

- when actually reading and thinking about the Harry potter books and movies I imagine the actor that played sirius and not the fanart marauders sirius I'm more used to, and apparently his hair is depicted as elbow length in the books not shoulder length WE WERE ROBBED. could have had long haired sirius with a bun in ootp

- also I swear marauders Era Sirius and golden trio era Sirius (so canon and fanon sirius) are two completely different people in my mind

- also forgot "muggle" news talked about sirius

-just finished the chapter and seriously he is so sassy (guess that's what you get when you're Sirius and marlenes godson, and James and Lily's actual son)

- also I really fucking hate how much mental abuse is glazed over here like????

- it happens every summer and he's forced to return to his abusers like wtf

- this is why I don't like Dumbledore very much

chapter 3

-forgot padfoot wasn't like an actual dog sized dog

-lowkey forgot about padfoot in general ngl

-bro harry are your really throwing precious and innocent Neville under the bus rn come on dude seriously

-ok like when they mention Sirius I can't help to think of the dramatic, gay, Remus obsessed Sirius from all of the wolfstar text posts I've read

-also the fact they have to clarify what a gun is in the wizard news is wow

-same with Ron not knowing how to use a phone

-no wonder these people keep having Wizarding wars and unstable teachers at their schools

- love how this 13 year old kid is panicking over the possibility of going to wizard prison for breaking one rule

-also side note the more I read the more I feel like Daniel Radcliffe portrayed him super well

- hedwig supremacy

- "ur the literal wizard president" "yea but I'm not ur guardian dumbass I can't sign ur permission slip what in hell is this"

- why is reading stans parts so fucking hard

chapter 4

- ah Florean Fortescue the one genuinely nice adult in these books (isn't he like Alice's dad or something?) I just remembered her last name is actually more or less a headcanon uhhh that's fun

- the Irish quidditch team are actually mentioned along with the quidditch world cup even Harry's checkin out the firebolt

- coincidence that Dean and Seamus are mentioned at the same time? I think not

- seriously jkr why do you keep giving kids abusive gaurdians and acting like it's nothing (talking about Neville and his grandmother)

- "...Ron looking incredibly freckly, Hermione very brown..." (pg 55 in my book). when first reading this part years ago I registered it as Hermione was black/poc and not that she was just tan from the sun lmao

- I swear crookshanks was James' old cat and that's why he hated peter

- also Percy wow this why you don't befriend stray rats man

- the things this rat has seen go on in Percy's and Oliver's dorm room....

- still probably not as bad sharing a dorm with Remus and Sirius tho

- I love the twins sense of humor

- but guys stop messing with my precious baby Percy he's just- an autistic overachiever doing his best guys

- ..."he lost everything..." Yes Sirius did in fact lose almost everything Arthur but not bc what you think happened dude

- "he's safe with Dumbledore-" yea fucking right /sar

- "stationniong soul sucking demons around a school is such a good idea hehehehe" /sar

- literally there's no fucking way McGonagall thought Sirius did it- literally fucking refuse to believe that she did

going to start another post for chapter 5 bc oh boy it's going to be long

#poa #prisoner of azkaban #harry potter marauders #harry potter #harrypotter #remus lupin #sirius black #james potter #the marauders era #marauders era #the maruaders #percy weasley

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: june 2023

as promised (to myself) I spent all of gay months reading books by and/or about the gays, no exceptions! (unless you count the heaps of old Batman comics I was reading, but come on. it's all pretty fruity.) the trend will be continuing into July as well because I overshot and still have book I need to finish, so in the immortal words of Janelle Monáe: happy pride forever!

anyway, what have I actually been reading?

Empress of Forever (Max Gladstone, 2019) - man, I've been meaning to read this FOREVER! and I'm glad I finally did. Gladstone's space opera follows ultrawealthy tech genius Vivian Liao, a sort of dykey Lex Luthor who's CERTAIN that she's the good guy. okay, yes, she's trying to get control of the nukes, but she's not going to use them. it's just that the world's a mess and she needs to be in charge. unfortunately our girl Vivian doesn't get far in her master plan before she's transported across the galaxy and finds herself on the run from the all-powerful Empress in the company of a cybernetic monk named Hong and the legendary space pirate Zanj, the Empress' greatest enemy. from there our heroes are off on a slow, messy quest across the galaxy as they make new friends, grow as people, and strive to bring the Empress down. it's a very long book and can feel slow in places, but all of the time devoted to fleshing out the characters ultimately pays off as their stories converge into a resonant narrative about the notion of identity and what it means to be yourself. if you like Becky Chambers' Wayfarer books of the Guardians of the Galaxy movies, get on this shit.

also hey listen Max Gladstone is having a bit of a Moment rn; the book he coauthored with Amal El-Mohtar, This Is How You Lose the Time War, is getting a huge boost thanks to the Trigun (????) fandom??? over on Twitter, and you should definitely go check it out

Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men (Jane Ward, 2016) - Ward is a brilliant queer feminist writer; rigorous and insightful while keeping her work imminently readable. while the title may sound facetious, Ward actually takes entirely at face value that there are men having sex with each other an engaging in otherwise homoerotic activities - mutual jerkoffs, hazing rituals that involve anal penetration - that sincerely aren't stemming from a place of gay desire and asks us what the fuck we're supposed to make of that. what results is a fascinating look at masculinity and the intricate rituals that both subvert and maintain it. shockingly thought provoking for a book that contains so many transcribed craigslist posts of men looking for straight guys to have totally normal hetero dudesex with!

The Latinos of Asia: How Filipinos Break the Rules of Race (Anthony Christian Ocampo, 2016) - I was lucky enough to get to see Ocampo (who is gay) speaking at the National Conference on Race and Ethnicity this year, and naturally I had to buy one of his books while I was there. I strongly suspect he's about to become one of my new favorite nonfiction writers, because the Latinos of Asia was a brilliant read that I really couldn't put down. Ocampo (who's also Filipino!) delves into the formation of Filipino-Americans' racial identity, and finds that many feel caught between the most conventionally accepted racial categories - feeling alienated from the idea of Asian identity, which is often perceived as pertaining to East Asians like Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans, and instead relating much more firmly to Mexican-Americans and other Latinos. it's a FASCINATING study on race and one (of many!) loopholes that exists in this very large, messy, totally made up construct of race.

A Lady for a Duke (Alexis Hall, 2022) - for my pride month romance novel I wanted to read something that I might actually like. I've previously adored Hall's genre-fucking ultra-queer Sherlock Holmes pastiche, the Affair of the Mysterious Letter, and Lady for a Duke was really well-reviewed, so my hopes were high! and you know what? I fucking loved this. it was like cotton candy, perfectly sweet and made to be inhaled without a second thought. Our Heroine Viola was the heir to an estate who faked her death at Waterloo so that she could run away and be herself - that's right baby, this is a 19th century trans lady romance! she reconnects with her old BFF the Duke of Gracewood, who's been catatonically depressed since losing his best friend in the war, and reader, you will not believe what happens next. just kidding, you totally will: they want to kiss each other so bad! they're yearning so bad and it's great. it's a very silly book and Gracewood is the most unexpectedly forward-thinking 19th century duke EVER who is instantly down to accept Viola entirely as a woman and thinks that having biological children is overrated, and you know what? that rules. I'm not reading this book for historical accuracy I'm reading it to watch a man beg his girlfriend to fuck him tenderly in the ass. and she does!!! if I'm being honest everything after they finally hook up is kind of nonsense and the book probably is too long, but god it's a delightful time.

Chlorine (Jade Song, 2023) - back in the days of twitter I started following Jade Song as soon as they announced selling this book, the story of a competitive high school swimmer succumbing to obsession as she fantasizes about becoming a mermaid. finally getting to pick up the book from the library and actually read it felt crazy after existing in potentia for so long! while Song's novel is a little rough in some places in exactly the way I expect from a debut, it's still gripping and visceral. our protagonist lives in an intense and demanding world, striving to please an overly handsy coach, wanting to please the immigrant parents she can barely speak to, stumbling through sex with boys on her team while longing for her female best friend. through it all she fixates on mermaids, and the story is told in flashbacks building up to a drastic act of self-mutilation at a swim meet. it's definitely not the right book for the faint of heart or anyone looking for feel-good fluff, but it's harrowing in the best way.

Vagabonds! (Eloghosa Osunde, 2022) - gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous! Osunde celebrates queer life - those called vagabonds, society's outliers - in Lagos, Nigeria, slipping between the real world of social stigma, oppressive religion, judgmental family, and dangerous politics, and the world of magic, gods, and the unreal, blending the two together in an effortlessly dizzying effect. the ultrawealthy hide behind layers of flawless masks to conceal their identities, a lonely woman dying of cancer summons up a daughter than only she can see, and a young man channels the devil to raise his murdered lover. while the stories start bleak, firmly establishing the danger of life on the margins, they gather speed with increasing warmth and love as the story progresses, eventually bringing all of our protagonists together in glorious, life-affirming celebration of vagabonds and all who love them. Nigeria, in Osunde's hands, reads much like family - imperfect, sometimes even awful, but also capable of harboring tremendous love, surprising tenderness, and still worth holding out hope for. I think measuring books in terms of relatability is a fool's game, but as an American queer watching more and more legislation and persecution roll out against my people each day, it was hard not to feel a cord being struck. Vagabonds! is a beautiful reminder that queer resilience is eternal, and reader, I did cry.

Quietly Hostile (Samantha Irby, 2023) - I was a ride or die bitch for Sam Irby even before she picked up and moved to my small Michigan city, effectively becoming my neighbor. (not really, but she is married to the mother of a friend of a friend, so.) despite this, I will freely admit that I was a little underwhelmed by her last release, 2020's Wow, No Thank You. it's possible that WNTY was damned by its March 2020 release, putting it in the awkward position of being a humorous essay collection creeping out into the world at a time when everyone was paranoid and nothing was funny; maybe on a reread I would receive it a bit more warmly. Quietly Hostile, on the other hand, is just stupid funny right out of the gate. Sam Irby is old (see: in her early 40s) and going downhill, writing candidly about peeing her pants everywhere, adopting a rancid little dog, getting sent to the hospital with a severe allergic reaction, and jacking off to plot-heavy porn of elderly lesbian nuns. it takes a little bit of work to get me to actually laugh out loud at a book but man, I was chortling. if you don't already know her work, this is a sign from god (me) to check Samantha Irby out now.

what am I reading now?

Black Water Sister (Zen Cho, 2021) - the was one of the oldest queer novels(TM) on my list and I really wanted to knock it out for pride month. the Malaysian setting and culture is a welcome addition to contemporary urban fantasy, but I'm not sure I'm crazy about the story overall. and yet, I'm over 200 pages deep and don't want to give up, so ? I guess I'm persisting.

Giovanni's Room (James Baldwin, 1956) - my local library lost their copy just in time for pride month, so I bought one on ebay for all of nine dollars. haven't started yet, but I'm really excited to finally pop that proverbial Baldwin cherry!

#bookblr #reading updates

[adhdo5]

Saw your post from a bit ago, am curious what all labels CWL use!

As a unit CWL identifies aerself as a syzygy, and uses ae/aem/aer/aers/aerself (plural or singular) primarily with honorific she/generic he auxiliary; when referring to CWL's component parts they/them is not incorrect (cVwoop is friends with aem; ae's doing aer best but aer best sucks; they are both fragmentary pieces of a whole). This pronouns setup is one reached as one of the first signs of aem settling into a semi sustainable syzygy; the neos were picked by their individual pronoun sets do not overlap, and neither use they/them

Arron and Graph are referred to as component parts as stated or as some variation of like, my compatriot™ but usually by name or epithet; ae haven't run across "headmates" or "system" as terminology but would be amenable to it. Ae have also probably described aemself as plural or multiple/dual but we also haven't run across that as terminology as much as just, using it as the literal meaning

Re: name or epithet: Graph and Arron refer to each other as either the corresponding half of the syzygy's name (e.g. (he of holy) clockwork, (the) locusts) or less commonly as "my host" (not the host, her host; she's a parasite/guest) and "my/our voice" (this is literal – upon formation of the syzygy Graphite, being a "voice" as an entity, ~superimposed her voice over Arron's standing one, which is my in universe explanation for why Arron sounds like me even when it's him talking). Graphite has also referred to Arron as "streamer," though this is usually done to prove a point

Graphite uses it/she and occasionally chatself, crownself, and letheself; it is generally referred to in the singular despite having a plural epithet ("the locusts requests me to notify you of its approval"). She/her is principally appropriate when discussing its various inhumanity™ qualities. It is also referrable to as a voice, a chatter, chat, an angel, etc. It is self identifiably nonbinary; it is technically describable as aroace but it is mostly "not in the dating pool as in an unromancable NPC". It is very relatedly OK with the gaming-common masculine assumption (man, bro, he, etc) but is not a person and not ~something it's worth breaking out they/them for. It's just ontologically not the kind of thing that works in these paradigms bc those paradigms are made for people, not a voice in the studio audience

You may note that she has most of my complexes, just magnified, and that is because she ~started as a self insert (It's Complicated. It's not an avatar for me esp not at this point but it is a character made from ~my interactions with + feelings on things)

Arron is Arron standard loadout, a cyborg for religious reasons and a somewhat feminine gay man; he still uses he/him pronouns and has moderate to severe discomfort with being it/its-ed. He is probably aspec though I am not sure if he is directly aware of that terminology and he definitely has Other Things To Worry About Rn. "Doesn't Graphite" Yes but Graphite has extra time to do identity politics because it is a chatter and of course it has a void in its chest cavity and pronouns. Hope this helps

Neither of them identify directly as neurodivergent – Graphite isn't neuroanything and isn't divergent from what it's supposed to be, and Arron is normal /threat and a promise. Graphite would find "neurosparkly" appealing but I'm not giving it that not yet at least

#WHAT DO WE HAVE? BLUE HAIR AND PRONOUNS!! #WHEN DO WE HAVE IT? NOW!!!!!!!

[kiisaes]

Hey, i’d like to hear some of your bakudeku/katsudeku headcannons since i saw some and they’re so cute😭💞i love your art so much, it’s amazingg keep it up!!

ty !!! 🙏

I'll be honest I don't really have any headcanons off the top of my head. I have to think really hard about those I like but usually I can point at a preexisting one and go "haha yes I like this one" without thinking of it myself =v=

I think my biggest hc rn - and it's kind of controversial bc ik ppl have different opinions on it - is that deku is just flat out gay. like that's his sexuality, he only likes men. I used to hc him as bi and I campaigned pretty hard for it, and regarding fandom ships I still don't mind shipping him with girls. (tbh with fandom ships, I kind of just disregard a character's sexuality hc entirely bc I'm a multishipper who thinks crack ships are fucking great.)

but vibe wise, as well as putting canon into perspective, he just feels so gay to me. he screams comphet. he's got some vague internalized homophobia where he's totally supportive if u're gay, but HE'S not gay. and there's no way he can be even though he very well could be. like just think about it. he was really only so shy and nervous around girls bc he's literally never interacted with one casually before high school. and after he got close to 1A and could, you know, talk to women, he lost any deeper attraction in them. literally what happened with him and ochako. that's just how I feel anyway, but he won't admit his natural drift towards men (bkg) and his emotional hangups on men (bkg). he hangs out with men (bkg) way too much for him to have any serious interest in women imo

anyway this is just my take, you can hc deku as whatever sexuality you want!!! I still think bi deku has so much flavor like yass be the disaster bi u were meant to be!!! but gay deku just speaks more to me nowadays, I guess

ok upon thinking long and hard, I have come up with these silly hcs as well:

they are both bad at verbalizing their feelings. dk is overall horrible with emotions that pertain to himself so he just doesn't dwell on his very obvious crush on bkg. he just thinks that it's normal to be obsessed with another man. like lol hes been doing it since he was a baby. it's not anything more. he is NOT gay. straight men can appreciate everything about another man and more! just bestie things! and bkg has accepted in his heart that he is gay for dk but u are NOT going to hear him say it. sorry but that man does not know how to even start a convo about this. he'd probably want to, but knows he'd fuck it up and dk would miss the point. he'd probably just tell dk to fight him and then make out somewhere down the line bc it's easier and less embarrassing to him. little does he know, HE'S embarrassing and I hate him.

so u know the whole "bkg is an early bird and dk is a night owl" hc? and how it's technically canonically wrong? yeah. I'm obsessed with how wrong it is. bkg going to bed early and waking up late is so real of him. he just really fucking loves to sleep, and dk is the exact opposite. man goes to bed late and wakes up at 5 in the morning. he gets like 3 hours of sleep maximum and he's functioning perfectly. god I wish I were him

that one adhd vs autism meme but it's bkdk. u get to choose which ones which. maybe they're both

dk has dimples, one on each cheek! maybe bkg has one too. who knows

this is one I just thought of right now but it's like. part of the fandom bible that bkg can cook and dk cannot. however. I think dk can cook ok - fine enough to sustain himself - but bake REALLY WELL. bkg can cook bc he's "a natural" who can easily figure out exactly how to cook and spice foods. he doesnt need to follow a recipe to a T, he can just figure it out himself. dk can bake bc I'd imagine baking, with their meticulous recipe requirements, are easier to comprehend for him. he takes a shitton of notes on the daily, u can't tell me he'll eagerly read and jot down shit so his pastries turn out well. he'd prefer following step by step than winging it. does this make sense. words are hard

I always like drawing bkdk pretty close in height. ik lots of bkdks like a height difference but I prefer when rivals are pretty equal, and that includes how tall they are

dk's hands are coarser than bkg's, except around the palms, where bkg canonically has thick skin (so I'd assume there's some callouses there)

I like to think that bkg is good at basically anything, considering how he's a perfectionist. give him something to do and one week to do it, and he'll have a new skill under his belt. but there's a few things he can't do that trip him up so bad and make him so angry. like to me he definitely doesn't know how to whistle or roll his Rs. he just physically cannot. they're such pointless abilities but he hates how he can't do them. especially bc dk can definitely do both

dk keeps calling bkg "kacchan" bc it reminds him of a simpler time :') it makes him feel more connected to bkg than he initially is, and tacitly tells the class that he knows bkg best. also bc bkg never told him to stop so like ... why should he stop now. lol. and ALSO bc he's waiting to see how far he can go before bkg snaps. little does he know, bkg never snaps about "kacchan" bc that's dk's name for him. it reminds him that dk is always there, always calling out for him. and recently, it's a reassurance that he's still here, against all odds

ending this list with a classic but dk's favorite food is katsudon bc it reminds him of kacchan's name (KATSUdon vs KATSUki)

hope this is a good enough hc list anon!

#asks for becki #there are probably some really obvious ones im missing #bakudeku #bkdk #becki rambles about stuff

[specialmouse]

I absolutely agree on white LGBT people not appropriating black activism for their own causes. I think another cause for that line of reasoning is that, simply put, white LGBT people essentially choose to be oppressed. White gay men have the option to remain closeted and retain that privilege, white trans women also have that option. They only become oppressed when they make that choice to come out, and to transition. So it's unreasonable to compare it to the oppression black people face, as that oppression is based off of a factor that the black person has absolutely no agency in- i.e. their ethnicity.

YES 100%! it's a very hard thing to stomach for us i think, because many of us (especially those that were raised religious) are told that it's a choice. it's not a choice to be gay, but it's a choice to be gay in public. it's not easy to remain closeted and it does end up driving a lot of people to suicide, it's not to say "oh you have it easy, just don't be __!" as bigots do. i'm not saying that at all. i'm a closeted trans man and it hurts a lot to be perceived as a woman. i also have the choice whether or not i want to say that i'm asian; it doesn't feel good to do that, but i can do it. what's being said here is that black people generally don't have that option at all unless they can pass as white; they are visibly black in every area of life, in public and private. we also have to factor in generational trauma. lgbt people do not have genetic and pervasive cultural generational trauma from being lgbt. black people (i'm going to stick to saying black people because its their collective struggle and history that white americans try to align ourselves with) do, almost as a rule. when you are a black person, and you're having a child, you know before that child is born that it's going to face an immense amount of bigotry, that the mother of that child is going to face an immense amount of bigotry just trying to deliver it and has an increased risk of dying from negligence steeped in medical racism, all because of the color of her skin. you didn't face transphobia as a baby. you were not, more than likely, a gay toddler. your bio parents were, statistically, not lgbt or queer. you are, more than likely, not related to those that were affected by the aids crisis, or someone who was beaten for being trans (not saying you can't be, i know people who are. i'm just saying more than likely, and one doesn't necessitate the other). that doesn't mean those events aren't traumatic to you, knowing that people like you were brutalized and abandoned like that. but look at it this way: every black person in america whose family has been here for more 60 years is related to someone who went through legal segregation, police brutality, medical racism, interpersonal racism, hiring+housing discrimination, environmental racism, etc. etc. forever... and that person is related to someone who went through jim crow, who is related to someone who lived in constant fear of being lynched and seeing it happen constantly, of someone who couldn't vote, couldn't own land... slavery wasn't even 200 years ago. it wasn't even two. hundred. years. ago. i don't think white people understand how fucking recent that is. like you might think i'm going off on a tangent rn about how pervasive antiblackness is in this country but i'm trying to hammer home that, if you are a white lgbt, it just does not COMPARE. yes, there are black people out there who are living more comfortable lives than you, and maybe you are very poor and have gone through a lot because you are gay/trans... but systemically, institutionally, historically, your suffering is not only more of a recent phenomena, but also far more contingent on your socioeconomic status than your sexuality. this is not to sayyyy that you aren't suffering, that trans and gay people aren't suffering because they're trans and gay, but if you try for a second to say that it's anywhere close to the collective suffering of black people... you're fooling yourself

#i want to add something to this but i need to be very careful about the way i word it and i'm tired

[angelphonia]

Okay, I've been binge watching the Stop!!Hibari-kun anime and I've got some thoughts I need to let out.

Firstly, watching the anime makes me appreciate the Manga a hundred times more. Sure, the Manga had its problems, mostly the racism and the casual homophobia jokes and transphobia, but you could save stuff from it, like that even though there were homophobic jokes there was a gay woman who wasn't mocked because of her attraction to Hibari, or that despite the transphobia Hibari was never outright shown as being wrong by being herself.

Now, the anime does a lot of things I dislike. Firstly they make Kosaku's reactions be way more negative than in the Manga. While yes, he reacts negatively he is also seen blushing a lot when Hibari flirts with him. I may need to read the Manga for fourth time, but I also don't remember Kosaku constantly mentioning Hibari is a "guy" everytime she did anything.

There is a lot much more racism in the anime. There were problems with this in the Manga but it just feels way more present in the anime.

This one doesn't bother me too much, but I'm pretty sure the chapters do not align with the Manga, but again, this doesn't bother me.

I also noticed way more incest jokes, I don't care about them. Also the Seiji chapter where he falls in love with one of Hibari's bullies when she's 15 and Seiji is around 25/30 is very questionable. Again, this is a work of fiction so while I was like "why isn't this seen wrong?" I wasn't really uncomfortable. I do gotta say that in the Manga when the Japanese mob grown manchild son asked for Hibari's hand in marriage, it was inmediatly said he was 28 and Hibari was super taken aback. This doesn't happen in the anime, his age is NEVER mentioned. I can't quite remember, but I am sure Hibari also doesn't go on a date with him.

Oof, but here we go with the thing that has bothered me the most. The REALLY bad erasure of Jun's story. They absolutely took away her lesbianism, making it seem as if she was only interested in Hibari because of her volleyball abilities. They also totally changed the episode and made Jun be deeply ashamed of her family, that while in the Manga she was a bit embarassed it wasn't a main focus. In the Anime it was, even making her leave the volleyball club, which is crazy to me. Oh, and I'm NOT forgetting that they made Hibari enjoy getting gropped in the bus, when in the Manga she was clearly just disgusted by it.

I haven't finished it yet, may edit this post with more complains. Positive things? I'm sure Seiji and Sabu didn't have names in the Manga, so now they have identities. They try and give them more backstory, even adding an eye scar to Sabu, which was appreciated. Hibari's voice is absolutely the cutest. I liked the wrestling episode. Oh, the episode with Hibari's mother and her father was a delight, she didn't express this much emotion in the Manga, so actually seeing how she feels was great, and her end interaction with her father was adorable.

Can't remember anything more rn. As a side note, I've developed a little crush on Sabu and I'm gonna draw him. Hope you enjoyed my rambling!

EDIT:

Remembered the Honda thing. In the Anime he almost reaches his 1000 girls flirted with, but with one it is half a girl. In the Manga this was because he looked at a 5 year old by accident and she fell in love, while in the anime they made it so he flirted with a new half. For those who don't know, new half is an old Japanese term for transgender people, mostly trans women who were post op. In the subtitles this is translated as crossdresser, which I don't like. This isn't the first time this term is mentioned, in the spartan son episode, he calls Hibari a new half, which Kosaku tells him to not do. In another chapter there is a trans woman, and she refers to herself as New half, which again is incorrectly translated to crossdresser for some reason.

Even then there was some sort of minimal knowledge of trans people, not only with this, but in the Manga the addition of Genkijirou being a canonical trans man in hormones. Eguchi was aware and while his first idea was to make Hibari a feminine man, it obviously end up with her being a trans woman.

#stop!! hibari kun! #hibari oozora #Hibari kun #Rambling