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linalilia · 1 year

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[meet the prisoners!] prisoner 007: yano asahi

just so you know most of the time i have no idea what to do with my ocs' hands.

so, we already know which prisoner is the oldest one, but what about the youngest one? well, here he is! (fun fact: he was actually supposed to be even younger at first)

this boy.. tbh i'm not so sure about his verdict as well, like at the same time THIS IS A CHILD AND HE PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE HERE but also.. he's not really the most sympathetic prisoner here.

General info:

Name: Yano Asahi (谷野旭冴) (his last name means "valley" and "field" and his first name means "rising sun" and "clarity")

Age: 11 y/o

Gender: Male

Status: Prisoner 007

Birthday: May 15 (Taurus)

Height: 145 cm

Blood type: O

Image color: #DBFFC1

Occupation: Elementary school student (sixth year)

Personality: Asahi appears to be a sweet child when you first meet him, however, his true personality is not like that at all. He's very rude, he swears more often than all the older prisoners, he says mean things without thinking and whenever someone tells him that it's wrong to act like that, he just lies on the floor and cries or says that he's just a child, so it's okay if he makes mistakes like that. He takes full advantage of his age and even makes other prisoners do all kinds of things for him, because "he's a child, so he's too weak to do it himself". It's obvious that he was very spoiled by his parents: he asked for a different prisoner uniform because he didn't like this one, he's the one who requests more stuff than all the other prisoners and if something doesn't go his way, he starts crying and says that he will tell his mom about it. But even though he is almost never seen smiling or laughing, he's actually.. very calm when it comes to his crime? He never mentions it and when the guards ask him about it, he simply goes "Huh? What crime?". At first the guards thought that he's just pretending or maybe he's so cruel that he doesn't care about his crime.. But for some reason, it also feels like he actually doesn't know what crime he committed. Or maybe he does know, he just.. doesn't want to think about it.

MV info:

Which canon Milgram song he would cover: Half. YES. THE YOUNGEST PRISONER HERE WOULD SING HALF. It fits his backstory well not counting the whole cheating on your wife part and for some reason I actually can imagine him singing it and it would sound good with the voice I imagine him to have. Maybe his cover would be like a cuter and softer (but still very emotional) version of the original song?

Which DECO*27 song he would cover: Iiya. The lyrics actually sound a lot like Asahi and I can definitely imagine him singing it for. Reasons that I can't talk about yet.

If he could cover a song by a different Vocaloid producer, which one would it be: All I Need Are Things I Like by Pinocchio-P.

His MV description: .. his MV would have a goth aesthetic actually. It would mostly have gray and black colors, but some important objects would be the same color as Asahi's image color.

His MV starts with Asahi sitting in his room, looking bored and watching the clock tick. He gets annoyed and walks to the door, but something stops him from leaving the room. He starts walking around the room and it looks like he's thinking deeply about something. He looks at all his toys (and he has.. a lot of them) and.. suddenly starts crying while hugging one of them? It does look sad and makes you feel bad for him, but the lyrics are actually about him feeling like "this is not enough, he deserves more" and him asking someone to "give him everything he wants, because he's their only joy in life and he should be treated as one". He looks at a particular plushie he has, the one that looks like a strawberry and for some reason he finally decides to leave the room.

We see Asahi in his room again and now he's actually playing with his toys, though he still looks bored. The lyrics mention that he's still "not satisfied" and "he won't stop until he gets what he wants". He looks at some books he has in his room and decides to read one of them just because he has nothing else to do and it looks like he actually finds it interesting. It gives him inspiration to do something and he gets so excited that he starts writing something in his notebook while lying on his bed, still surrounded by his toys. If you look closer, you can see that he's writing something called "A list of weaknesses". When he's done, he starts laughing and it looks like he is not exactly sane right now. The POV suddenly changes and it looks like we're opening the door to Asahi's room and see what he's doing. Asahi pretends like everything is fine and just smiles at us.

We still see everything from that person's POV and now it looks like that person is having dinner with Asahi. There's no one else around and the whole scene just gives off that feeling of loneliness. The person stops eating to tell Asahi something and he still looks annoyed, but he listens anyway. But then, everything becomes blurry, even though we can still see that now Asahi is smiling and that person's food was actually the same color as Asahi's image color. That person falls on the floor and now Asahi looks like he is actually scared for them and he even tries to help them get up, but everything goes dark before he is able to do anything.

The POV changes and we're opening a door again and we can see Asahi lying in a puddle of something that looks like a bright green liquid. We walk closer to him and try to wake him up and when he does, he looks at us with a confused face expression and the lyrics say "Hey, can you remind me, what did I even want?"

Trailer 1 Voicelines:

"Huh? Why do you even want to know my name? If you're soooo smart, then you probably know it already, don't you?" *SLAP* "OW! What the fuck are you- Fine, fine! My name is Yano Asahi, I'm an elementary school student and all.. But you knew that, didn't you? Look at me, I'm literally a child! Now let me go home or I'll tell my mom about what you've done to me!"

"Hey.. Come on, you know I deserve it. It's not that expensive. JUST BUY THE DAMN THING ALREADY, THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING! WHAT, ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY THAT I DON'T DESERVE IT? Oh.. maybe you just hate me? You hate me, right?"

Trivia:

Murder is his only crime and he had only one victim.

Of course, he believes that he will get an innocent verdict and it's just not possible for him to be voted guilty.

He spends most of his free time eating something or playing with the toys he requested.

Some prisoners have mentioned that they heard Asahi talking to someone in the middle of the night, but when they checked, it was just him sitting in his cell and talking to himself. They heard him talk about the other prisoners, Milgram and this whole situation. When it was morning and they asked Asahi about it, he denied everything and he looked genuinely confused.

He's not close with any prisoners and he especially hates Akio even though they're very similar.

Naomi is a little scared of him because of him being almost the same age as her students (though a little bit older) and she tries to avoid him when she can. However, Asahi himself doesn't think she's that bad and other prisoners even say that he sees her as a mother figure.

Even though he's not friends with anyone here, he still refers to all other prisoners by "Nii-san" and "Nee-san", basically treating them as his older brothers and sisters. And about the guards.. he really doesn't like Eiji, so he refuses to call him that, but he eventually warmed up to Miki and started calling her his big sister as well. (Edit: that was changed and he's actually calling everyone "(Name)-nii" and "(Name)-nee" now. I just thought that it sounds more like him)

Other prisoners didn't want him to spend time with Kei, because they were afraid that Kei will be a "bad influence". To everyone's shock (even Kei's), Asahi understood.. uh, everything that comes out of Kei's mouth perfectly and when they asked where he got this knowledge, he just said that "he's young, but he's not stupid".

#.. okay maybe he will get a guilty verdict #oh no another prisoner who actually doesn't remember their crime that well #also. you guessed it this boy is my second muu-coded character #akio really got the god complex part and the “it's not my fault” part meanwhile asahi got the “rich kid who whines a lot” part #milgram #milgram oc #linagram

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stars-and-cows · 4 months

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I never could really do the "Your ocs without trauma" trend because

Like let's make it clear, trauma isn't something we want or something we should have but we are who we are partially because of it.

You basically are asking me to remove part of my character's personality

And who's to say that my character would be happier without it? Some of them yes, but trauma helped the other ones to be wary, not easily swayed.

It's so bizarre for me to think about the story of my characters without trauma because that's a completely different story at this point

And yes this is just an excuse to talk about my Ocs

So let's take Shard from my story Shima: VT for example

Spoilers ahead for his backstory

Shard without his trauma would be dead. Literally. He lost the only person who loved him. But if this person was to live, he would die. It's a tragedy he needs to overcome in the story himself, truly understanding that it was a no-win situation. Someone HAD to die

Okay but what if the thing that killed that person or Shard never existed? Well then Shard would grow up sheltered, in his ice castle, alone. Isn't that another trauma? Only knowing the same walls, the same gardens and the same throne. And you can't do anything because you're just a prince? And when you grow up to the role with actual power... Will you be able to do it? To suddenly open your castle's door. It's scary, Shard would think. He would make the cycle go again and he wouldn't realise it until very late.

Okay, but let's say he could leave the castle while the disease also doesn't exist. What if he could make friends? He wouldn't. He's a prince, everyone would be scared. He wouldn't be able to make one meaningful connection, pushing him to his one person only further. Being born into his role as a villain of the story, someone ruthless is the curse itself.

Okay, let's say he wasn't born a villain, he's just a normal boy... He wouldn't be Shard anymore would he? He wouldn't learn to not trust people, to push people away, he wouldn't fall so stupidly for the one guy who saw the good in him, he wouldn't be Shard.

The more trauma you remove the more character you lose

I'm in a poetic/sad mood as you can see-

#talky talk #Shima: Villains' Tales #I love Shard with all my heart #Maybe I should write more about the characters to give my amazing mutuals opportunity to make theories?#I dunno if anyone would be interested #But yeah... Shard<3333

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thegeekydanishgirl · 1 year

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What could have been... my thoughts on Star Wars

To me the most obvious critic of the Star Wars sequels is their total disregard of the prequel trilogy. I think it is so obvious that Disney was scared of the backlash that the prequels got back when they came out that they simply decided to pretend that it never happened. I could be wrong but I am pretty sure that they not even once mentions Anakin Skywalker's name, they only ever refer to him as Vader or Darth Vader. Yes you could argue that, that is what his name is for the original characters but are you really telling me that after 30 years they did not learn more about him? That Luke or Leia (or both) did not spend time and resources to find more out about their father! I mean the reason Luke survived the emperor's attack was because he was saved by his father aka Anakin. Luke made a very big deal to say that his father was Anakin Skywalker not Vader and now suddenly he is never mentioned again.

And even if you could argue for the characters use of Vader instead of Anakin, it is in the end because of the direction chosen for the movies and the ongoing franchise.

The sequels had a unique opportunity to do so much because they have all the information. The directors, writers, actors and everyone else involved had all the information from the previous trilogies as well as the clone wars series. The Originals dit not have the same information about the backstory of their characters because this was the first time they were made. In the prequels they had the job to fit into the originals as well as give us so much backstory and world building. And for the sequels to disregard most of that is just a shame, plain and simpel. They had all the ingredients and all the instructions but chose not to use them all and only listen to half, so they ended up with a half baked project with ideas just thrown in there, that sometimes contradicts each other.

It has always been my belief that Anakin Skywalker was the main character in Star Wars even in the movies about Luke, even in the Originals. Just because we didn't know that Star Wars was Anakin's story, it doesn't make it any less true. But Anakin died in Return of the Jedi and therefore the sequels were already off to a rocky start. They should have build on the legacy of Anakin of his downfall and sacrifice. I am not talking about glorifying all the terrible thing that he did or erase his mistakes but they should learn from them. Anakin was a real person and a rounded character. He made mistakes, he hurt and killed people, but he also loved fiercely, he protected and saved a lot of people as well. He isn't just one mistake (granted an epic and deadly mistake), he is everything. He didn't get everything right, he didn't learn all of it all at once. He didn't win every battle that he fought in but he wasn't scared to fight anyway and to learn (most of the time).

Anakin wasn't the perfect hero or the perfect person. But he was a Hero and he was a Villain.

To totally delete him from a Star Wars movie is to delete the very heart of Star Wars. Star Wars is his story and the story of his family, of his legacy. If the sequels had leaned into the legacy of him in the form of Ben/Kylo Ren and how in the original trilogy his legacy and family was the Hero (Luke and Leia), and now his legacy is the villain (Kylo). It would have been very poetic and a good balance but that is not exactly what they did. Most of the characters were one dimensional and their motive to do what they do in the movies are thin or non-existent. And quite frankly I find the idea that only 30 years later a new empirer could take the place of the old one, to be horrible and extremely sad. I would be fine with them still, after all these years, hunting down the last of the empire and fighting to right all the wrongs that had been done by Palpatine and Vader. But I feel like Anakin's sacrifice and the struggles that we saw Luke, Han, Leia and the resistance go through were for nothing. They had to go through it all again! Really! I love Star Wars and I love Disney. Have been a fan all my life of both. And this is not a "x is trash and everyone who likes/loves it is trash" kind of post, this is a "x could have been so much more and the thought of what could have been saddens me" kind of post. If you find my post to be the first rather than the latter then I am sorry. It was never my intention. Normally I would never do such a post and it kinda got away from me and I got a little carried away (obviously). My original intention was actually to talk/write about the scene in the Rise of Skywalker where they erase C3P0's memory as well as the scene where it is restored/given to him by R2D2 but that will have to be another post

But that will also especially be about the erasure of the prequel trilogy as I would have it be connected to this scene:

I have no idea if this post even makes sense anymore but if you have read the whole thing then thank you and if you read it all and actually understood what I have been trying to say, then I am impressed.

All I can say now is:

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burr-ell · 2 years

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You know what's always kinda been a weird argument? That Claude's neutrality was a sham because of the idea that he was biding his time, and so Edelgard invading the Alliance in CF is suddenly not her invading a neutral nation. Because like. He never starts any fighting on CF? He's literally always attacked first by Edelgard. I don't see the point in trying to argue if Claude's neutrality was "real" or not when on Edelgard's own route she tries to kill him at the point where he did nothing to her because she wants the Alliance, Kingdom, and Church eliminated.

Also, kinda related to the last ask, it's kinda fucked up that Claude feels he has to beg Edelgard to leave his friends alone and to "go easy" on the Alliance even when he's spared. She doesn't kill him and Byleth (someone he trusts) is there too, but he's so distrustful of Edelgard that he feels he has to plead the case anyway. But they'd totally get along so well if they talked tho right.

that argument is odd, definitely. it goes back to how in order to make edelgard look good, her fans feel the need to 1) make everyone else look bad and/or 2) pretend everything edelgard did was Good Actually somehow.

like, yes, edelgard's invasion of the alliance makes sense if and only if she is engaging in a war of conquest. which she is. she's not a good person and she's not doing good things—which is fine! she can be a villain! you're just never going to convince me that she isn't a villain when she spends the entire game doing or condoning villainous things. and it's frustrating that she could have been a great villain if the game wasn't so bound and determined to downplay her in favor of trying to make you understand her, isn't her backstory so sad, isn't she so cute, don't you just feel bad about killing her?

and more than anything, you're never going to convince me to like a character by dragging characters i do like to make them look good.

#replaying silver snow rn and honestly? the whole 'you have to kill your former student' thing really WORKS on that route #like i could understand people who really felt for edelgard and didn't want to kill her!#but like. don't act like claude dimitri and rhea are anywhere near as bad. they simply Are Not #fe3h #asks #fe3h discourse

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mevekagvain · 2 years

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Chapter 472 - So is there a reason why Raizel's brother says his whole name? I know that the lord and noblesse have that 'the entire thing is our first and last name' thing going on but even mvp lord just calls his daughter Raskreia. Is the brother just being an annoying older brother and using his whole name in a scolding way? Or is it just because he's being murdered?

- Wow the werewolves with their tiny population just had it halved after all the culling already occurring over 820 years from experimentation. How many people are left now? 100? 200?

- W-why is Kentas going upwards? Is there a sky city I'm unaware of? Are there actually winged werewolves that I should know about? Surely Kentas could leap in like, the direction he's heading for without going upwards that much.

Chapter 473 - Suddenly I'm illiterate. Why could Raskreia be blushing? No clue. Love Kei knowing jackshit though.

Chapter 474 - I like how neither Frankenstein nor Gechutel approve of the idea of Raizel and Raskreia being together.

Chapter 475 - Also Seira immediately jumping in to make fun of Regis sjjsjsis. "Regis has always been single. May the lord strike me down if I lie." And Regis not even registering it as a joke because Seira is likely saying it seriously.

- Obviously Rael is gonna kill either the lord or noblesse with Kartas to prevent Gechutel's fears. Why are you so dumb Karias 🙃

Chapter 476 - The way Shinwoo studies Raizel after Raskreia says he loves the time he spends with the kids... totally different meaning when you hc he's a noble <3

- So Karias is the only one in the household with love experience 🤣 Everyone else either doesn't get it or is a weirdo like Frankenstein. Also he tells Rael to stay away from Seira :)

- Grandpa is so fucking embarrassing.

Chapter 478 - Raizel using Muzaka as his gofer... Lmao.

Chapter 479 - Contradictory flashback time! Why is there a peaceful moment where Ashleen and Muzaka visit the Noblesse manor where the latter reveals that the former is his daughter? I'll just have to take it as Raizel fantasising about an alternate life where this happened instead of her death.

- Why does Garda get a default suit outfit btw? I actually think she looks good in it but you'd think she'd be given more casual clothes. Or maybe she chose this over whatever skimpy female clothes Crombel has...

Chapter 481 - Yeaaaah still hc that Muzaka transferring his power did nothing to help. Power /= Lifespan for anyone outside the noblesse after all. Ashoka doing it with Ragnarok is different since he just straight up gave Raizel his soul how romantic.

- Anyway I get why he did it this way but isn't making Raizel fight then transferring power kinda dumb? What if all your power is only equivalent to all the lifespan he used up in this fight?

- Muzaka's a very good actor btw. Better than Maduke imo. Like everyone knows the latter is an evil asshole. There are 0 people who are not wary of him unless brainwashed.

Chapter 482 - Garda's love (not romantic) and admiration for Muzaka is so deep and it makes me sad.

- Anyway did I rip my tragic hc backstory for Raizel's brother partly from this? Yes. But not exactly obviously. The nuances and circumstances are different. The aftermath on Raizel's psyche is the exact same though :)

Chapter 483 - Okay I know he wasn't the one who killed Gradeus but it is funny seeing every traitor except him.

Chapter 484 - 'that not even his species is known for' huh? Are you not a werewolf too mr. scientist on werewolf island? I guess not since Kentas says he'll give the guy the support of all his species.

- Oh. No in person meetings for 50 years?? So no recent Union pool parties either? At least, not between the Elders? That's so sad :( But actually... nah the Elders probably did come to any relevant Union parties or upper echelon human parties when they felt like it. Parties aren't the same as meetings after all. Or at least Lunark, Urokai, and Zarga showed up to Third Elder's pool parties. Four ppl party. They're friends <3

- And First Elder is here. Meh.

Chapter 485 - I feel like some of the other Elders did probably know about First Elder coughUrokaiwithhischokeholdonUnionfinancescough but they didn't care. Also all this does mean he's only been in the position for 50 years max or that Haydn has always been covering for him since he became First Elder, even in person, if more than 50 years.

- Amusingly enough, the room bg designs have gotten better now that it doesn't particularly matter to have them with the constant fighting. I do appreciate it though. Better than whatever tf Yuna's home was and the one (1) room in the noblesse manor. Like Raizel pls put more furniture in there.

Chapter 486 - The manhwa throneroom with the elevated throne area (stairs, platform, pillars, floaty blue diamonds) and straight red carpet, the anime throneroom with the fancier carpet and throne combined with the manhwa throne (so gold with red plush but dragon armrests. though only actually for ashoka and raskreia since I like to think that lords have personalised thrones for their reigns), the anime lord's sanctuary with its chessboard style floor and mosaics, and my own design where the entire walls and ceiling are just mosaics aside from one layer of glazed windows, thus bathing the throneroom in multicolour light in the day, is how I imagine it. It does ofc mean that the throneroom is on the topmost floor.

Chapter 487 - Not everyone with red eyes is a noble :/ Some are just emo.

Chapter 488 - Geo!! Considering her clothes/accessories compared to her skin colour I'll always hc that she's from a minority group in China.

Chapter 490 - King of the humans... so fucking lame.

- I can't be bothered by righteous anger when it comes from some rich white prick like First Elder. Because it's people like him who worked with the werewolves and traitor nobles to hurt other humans in the first place.

Chapter 491 - I do want to point out that the other Elders were also all :/ at Maduke destroying random human areas. Canonically they probably didn't care about the people and just that it was Maduke who did it but. Yeah. Seriously though, Maduke is so bad at politics. No wonder the only times he got what he wanted is when others wanted something from him too like with the Muzaka Raizel fight or with humans wanting werewolf sponsorship.

Sidenotes - The last episode of the anime was utter shit but the anime did give me one of my fav noblesse bgs. It's just such a nice room.

- Just like how I imagine lords have personalised thrones, I also imagine that there is a room in the castle with special multimedia mosaic paintings for each lord representing them/their rule. The frame is created based on their likes (Kalidasa's is a strange black and white amalgation, Chinasa has a simple wooden frame he made himself, Mai has a really pretty and fancy jewelled one comissioned by Chinasa using jewels he found himself, Al-Kahina's is carved detailed wood made by Hesediel, Gentilus has a detailed Agvain metalwork frame, Ashoka's is a strange one that glows white always so you can't tell what the material it is or how it actually looks, Raskreia has an ornate gold one made/commissioned by her family, Helia and Lan Yue's is ofc shared if Lan Yue exists and is ornate wood and metal with silver gold veins) while the mosaic/painting itself is enchanted so it comes into being over the course of the lord's reign. Each piece has the lord, their version of Ragnarok and symbolic representations of important things in their rule or personality.

- First and Third Elder's relationship will forever make me uncomfortable because of how it reminds me of master/slave, caste, racial, etc dynamics. Easiest way to solve this would be if Raizel had been dark skinned lol.

#noblesse #raining while reading

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feuqueerfire · 11 months

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Tomorrow Live Blogging

Thought I'd watch a cute GL or BL after finishing Alice in Borderland since that was pretty high stakes and stressful but here I am a few days later, once again starting a high-concept show. There's no romance tag on MDL, so I hope that's at a low

Ep 1: (May 25)

I don't know if I like this beginning. It's a bit cringy and I know this ~threat of death~ to people who are suicidal is supposed to be cool but it doesn't work for me

lol rip our mans (Choi Jun-woong) losing to nepotism

pls this fight to stop this guy from committing suicide

bro why are the grim reapers so cringy

Do I want to watch this show with this much over-the-top humour...

damn these managers are all so annoying

I like Jun Woong and Jade Emperor Director's interactions

oh, is the writer somebody who bullied that interviewer woman?

the memory part feels like I should feel some sort of urgency but I just don't

the epilogue is also cringy

Ep 2: (May 25)

okay you know last episode I was like oh her crying kinda sounds like laughter but now I realize it's supposed to be like that

man i didn't sign up for a school bully storyline rip this is terrible

ah Eunbi having to even transcribe the interview poor girl

So the other guy is looking for something and that's why he always leaves on the dot

I'm just not a fan of her yelling at the victims and then blaming them as a way to dissuade them

so cringy the way she had Eunbi fall and then caught her

Junwoong bringing someone Eunbi used to like is funny/cute

the revenge part of this is also kinda cringy rather than cool

the hell backstory of Kuryeon could be cool

lolol the epilogue of how Junwoong got the mans to come to see Eunbi

Ep 3: Forest of Time 1 (May 25)

I shouldn't be starting this new ep truly, I haven't done much since work ended but oh well

aw Junwoong's father's death anniversary

wait friendshipppppppp yes, Junwoong and Jaesoo friendship since high school and now he's gonna have to save Jaesoo

woah friendssss Junwoong knew what to send to Jaesoo to get him to come out and Jaesoo literally raaaaan to see Junwoong in the hospital because of it T.T

the straw in the caaaan

aw shucks he's gonna get his insurance money if he dies

man this is so fucking sad, I guess I should've been prepared but seeing this poverty suddenly is really just

oh by the way what happened to interacting with people in the last episode vs this one?

ah the life insurance

plsss this epilogue T.T both Junwoong and the Grim Reaper serious man getting conned by cult members because of the mention of Director

Ep 4: Forest of Time 2 and Tree 1 (May 25)

I'll finish up this episode for today and then stop since these drama episodes are in pairs

predetermined predestined chicken by Jumadeung

ahh Jaesoo saying Junwoong sent all of you, right?

friendship T.T

aw Jungwoong making sure his younger self gets to see his dad for the last time before he goes away on business and dies

the problem is I think the next storyline is starting... but I shouldn't watch that now

Kuryeon and the grim reaper man's history

bro this lady and her stalking her husband into liking her lol they're kinda cute though

Ep 5: Tree 2 probably? (May 26)

I was going to just stop watching this and go to ep 15/16 and finish up but I looked at some reddit on-air threads on r/kdrama that said ep 6 was soooo good, so I'm gonna watch ep 5 on 2x speed and get to that

some sort of Reaper's Guarantee of Responsibility

I'm sure this story was good but i didn't care

Ep 6: A Soul Becomes a Star (May 26)

ah finally this is so touching, this old man T.T

old man as young volunteer of the korean war

this man's sad-ass life T.T I can't

(Linguistics) also Dongchil using informal you and banmal with the old man even though he's his hyung bc he's so mad

I know Escort Team Leaderwill show up in hanbok and stuff to escort the old man out but it's funny that he also asked Jade Emperor to give him a peaceful death right before she did

we'll never escape the cringy fight scenes

ohhhh Escort Team Leader was also in the same Korean war troop as this man? I thought mans was a lot older? Or actually I think he was there to take some people's souls from that war and saw him then

This whole Escort Team and Jade Emperor coming from this man is still cringy but at least it's touching this time

old man's name is Lee Young Chun

I still have half a mind to just drop the show but ig I'll just watch the episodes I think are good and 2x + skim the rest

Fave Ep so far

Ep 7: (May 26)

I'm gonna skim through this because I don't feel like watching an ED case now and also the on-air thread said the recovery/ending part of this was badly done

it seems like a fun episode with a lot of humour but I don't actually care and the humourous clapback to weight stuff is still

Ep 8: (May 26)

oh the on-air thread mentioned stuff about Kuryeon and Joong Gil but I didn't expect it to be the first thing of the episode. I too am curious about their history

wait I like this, an inside job type of thing. Jun Woong infiltrating a suicide pact group

oh wait was that man Betamale actually the Grim Reaper or something? or in kahoots with the reaper? he was indeed the one who got everybody drunk and was the only one who didn't leave

oh I really am more of a fan of these thriller sort of storylines with a fucked up people and villains and scenarios than the regular slightly fantasy where the mission is to save people

oh betamale grim reaper killed some of these people as well? or is he trying out a new thing by attempting to kill Junwoong with his own hands?

becoming disabled as a source of punishment i don't like it but it's common

how much do Kuryeon and Joong Gil remember about their past and the nightmare that Joong Gil has?

heh the epilogue with the business card consequences

2nd Fave Ep after ep 6

Ep 9: Someday, Because of You (May 27)

I know this is about pet stuff, so I'll just skip through those and watch parts that are about the lore or group dynamics

oh so they each remember their last life but not previous lives, so Kuryeon and Joong Gil know each other from an earlier life - which is Joong Gil's nightmare unless she's lying

ahhh Junwoong having to learn his mother is sick and his sister is taking time off school to secretly private tutor kids to make money. oof seeing them go trough a hard time but not being able to do anything

aw he had to save his sister, no wonder he ran to protect her

aw poor dog :<

oh the dog has regrets too

ohhh he found the person he was looking for? past love

Kuryeon also remembered Joong Gil in a past life

Ep 10: Breath (May 27)

oh so it was indeed them in their last life? "you killed the person he loves" and she committed suicide?

I just remembered that ep 10 deals with a lot of victim blaming according to reddit

i hate this i hate this i hate this kill him kill him kill him

I was already thinking that although her family wants to punish the guy, it shouldn't be against her wishes and force her to endure everything that comes with it but now we know they yelled at her and blamed her first so just fucking fuck all of them fuck you

"instead of doing a 1-person protest and seeking revenge, go to her side and tell her you're glad she lived" like literallyyyyyyy

so is the woman who Ryung Gu keeps following around is his mother from centuries ago who killed herself?

Ep 11: West Sky (May 27)

Having one episode of it last episode was fine but I'm already tired of the visceral hatred of women and sexual violence storyline compounded with family accusing and demeaning the woman like I'm done idc fuck off i know he's a child but I'm tired of these storylines

agh fuck she killed herself over it fuck

I'm also tired of sexual violence against women being a story about the men related to them

ah yes fuck her she should die if she's a willing prostitute, it's only terrible if was raped and deserved if she wasn't, huh? blagh man I'm so done

oh yeah i am also annoyed that suicide is a sin here and that most of the people who committed suicide go to hell

the nose picking explained

bro we're doing this next ep too? his mom's gonna be suicidal and they're gonna have to help her? like bruh let's be done

Ep 12: West Sky 2 (May 27)

I've decided to skip most of this episode because idc, except for the team and dynamics stuff

fuck ass dream interference, this show is just irritating

ah sad meeting of parent and child for just a moment where the parent will soon forget and the child will go on being a reaper forever

okay so it was indeed not Joong Gil's last life, which is why he cannot remember but it was Kuryeon's last life that's why she remembers

Ep 13: Spring (May 27)

I know this is about comfort women and that's important but 3-4 episodes in a row about sexual violence against women is too much and I don't care about this show and certain aspects of how they handle things put me off, so I think I'm gonna mostly skip this.

damn, fights during war among the afterworld too

aw shucks, despite saying I probably won't watch, I'm watching cuz it's good

Yuni T.T oh noooo

I can't remember the new girl's name but I assume it's Yuni? Since she apparently died as a kid during Joseon vs Japan war

naurrr this ep and these girls' interactions and the meeting of Yuni again made me cry

New Fave ep, very good

Ep 14: Wildflower (May 27)

more Kuryeon backstory

who's the celebrity woman? Was she her friend or enemy? or wait is that her servant lady in waiting person? but idk Kuryeon seemed to be a bit resentful of her or something?

lol past Kuryeon and Joong Gil are cute but I wish they didn't look about 14 so that I could be more invested in them lol

oh yeah in the previous iteration of this flashback I was like oh interesting she still wears the red eyeshadow

why are they gossiping about her? just because she come back alive and they're assuming she had sex/was raped by the barbarians?

oh damn i keep thinking gop-dan betrayed rukyeon but she hadn't yet but maybe she was the one who spread the rumours

oh but she is protecting Rukyeon from the rocks, so I guess not?

I think that in a different show, I would've been annoyed like uhh why is this show veering away from the premise of saving people from suicide into a random Joseon era romance tragedy but here I don't care about a lot of the cases and think a lot of the stuff is cringy, so the cringy young love was par for the course and the tragedy of their married life was intriguing

Ep 15: Circus (May 27)

I'm not supposed to be watching this now cuz it's 12:20AM on May 28 but oh well, might as well

oh yeah Joonwoong is just being told all this without Kuryeon's permission lol

Joong Gil is just way too cruel about suicide man

idol storyline

oh Joong Gil really had wanted to forget his past life, damn

ah fuck

Joong Gil is just terrible

how will they wrap everything up in 1 ep?

Ep 16: Threads of Fate (May 27)

ah fuck it I guess I'll just finish it

ah, so he'd been reincarnated twice since his life with Kuryeon

kneeling tied up and beat up beautiful man <3 I don't like Joong Gil but I know a man in an attractive situation when I see one

oh yeah idk how I feel about Joonwoong and the idol Gon-dap like I guess they could be cute? but I don't feel anything toward them

aw he doesn't remember anything about the grim reapers D:

so are we assuming joonwoong and the idol fall in love?

man idk sure it's fine ig idk

Overall:

There were some episodes that were sooo good and others where I hated how they handled things or were just cringy or were boring. idk if the ending was satisfactory or not - I guess it kinda was? At least I wasn't mad about the ending. I skipped/skimmed some parts but also ep 13 made me cry because it was touching.

Rating: 6/10

#ep by ep commentary

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bellajackson200 · 1 year

Text

Food Poisoning

It was 4 in the afternoon on a Thursdays. I had Friday off so i was looking forward to a long weekend. I was about to make a cup of coffee when my phone rang. Display read "Jamie" Hey J, what's up ? Hey Alley. Deep sigh. I have food poisoning mmmm. I went to the doctor, he gave me something for the nausea and told me to lay low for a few days. Aw sweetie. What can i do for you ? I don't want to ruin your weekend but i was hoping you'd come and stay with me, to help me get through this. I feel so sick and i really need you. The last words was said with a sob. Oh Jamie sweetie, of course I'll come stay with you. You could never ruin my weekend. Let me pack a bag and I'll be right there. mmmm.... thank you. We hung up. I packed a bag, went to my car and drove off. My best friend needed me and i would never say no to him. Not ever! i arrived at Jamies place around 5pm. it was a quiet evening. people were getting ready for dinner or dining out. i could hear a lawnmower in the distance, birds singing the evening in. the weather was turning a bit colder now. it was almost septemper. i parked the car, got my bag and went up the stairs to Jamies apartment. i made a soft knock and went inside. Hey... im here.

curtains were drawn. the apartment was really dark. Hellooooo.... i could hear a sad moan coming from his bedroom. i stumbled over a pile of clothing while making my way through the darkness. i followed the sound of heavy sighs and rustling sheets.

i pushed the door open. there he was, on his bed, curled up in a ball. he was looking at me with a pained expression. he looked defenceless and scared. he made a head gesture for me to come over. i walked over to the bed and sat down. i reached over to caress his face. his skin was clammy and his hair damp. he looked at me with glossy eyes, then made a pained grimace. what can i do for you sweety ? just lie down with me, i need.... i don't know what i need. i just need to not be alone. i need the comfort and safety you always give me when i'm sick. i crawled into bed, grabbed Jamie and pulled him close to me. he cuddled his face into my neck, one arm around his belly, one arm around me. suddenly his hand flew to his mouth. he inhailed deeply and exhailed with a pained moan. my stomach hurts so bad, i feel nausiated, like i'm actually gonna get sick oooww i don't want to, Al. shhh... just relax ok. did you take one of the pills the doc gave you ? yeeaahh.. but they don't seem to work ooww i'm gonna get so sick. it hurts so much. can you hear my stomach ?? yeah, it sounds pretty bad sweety. would you like a gentle rub ? yes please, a rub, touch.. anything that will make this pain go away, this *sobs* nausia.

i'm sorry i'm getting so emotional but it just takes me back to when we were kids. the loneliness, isolation, countless hours of illness..I....I.....sshhh, you don't have to say anymore, i know.. i know. i pulled him closer to me and hugged him tight. he cried softly into my chest. i had to hold back my tears.. for him...i know seeing me cry would make him feel guilty and i couldn't bare that. i was completely taken over by sadness for him. what he went through back then was never his fault and i was there for him every step of the way, every tear, frustration, ache, pain, hug, rub... all the yelling and blaming his mom for having had him. he never meant any of that of course and we knew that. it was the pain and frustration talking. i never regretted one moment of me being there for him. it didn't take my youth away and it didn't "screw up my life" as Jamie used to put it. i would do anything for him. he's my best friend and i love him. simple as that.

some backstory is required.

Jamie and i grew up in the same neighborhood. lots of kids around, long evenings, lots of running, playing, screaming, getting dirty, laughing. good stuff. good memories. Jamie was born with a weak stomach, digestive system doesn't quite work the way it's supposed to. an operation was not an option. all the doc could do was recommend certain foods and tell his mom what foods and such to avoid. being a kid and all that it was of course hard to understand why he couldn't eat what the rest of us could eat so often times, J would not listen to his mom and just eat what we ate and get in serious trouble for it. he would get so sick. sometimes so bad that he'd end up in the hospital. rarely tho. mostly he'd just be in his room, in bed being sick. couldn't come out and play. i remember noticing his absense quite often. one day i went to his house and asked for him. his mom told me he was sick and i asked to see him. she asked him if it was ok for me to come into his room and he agreed. i went in there. i remember him looking so poorly. he told me about his problem with a grain of shame but i didn't find it shameful. i remember walking over to him, fast, in a straight line, sitting down and just hugging him, telling him that i'd always be here to help him through this. and he let me. at least he wasn't alone in his room anymore, sad, lonely, listening to the other kids having fun. i was there with him.

I managed to hold back my tears and wipe his away. ooow.. i'm gonna get sick mmm it hurts. he ran to the bathroom and i could hear him get sick. he's always been a little sensitive about me seeing him get sick so i always stay behind but if he asks me one day to come and offer comfort while he gets sick, i'll come.

it sounds really awful out there sweety. he sounded like he was in great pain, i wanted to run to him but i wanted to respect his wishes more. water was running as he brushed his teeth. he flushed and came back to bed. he was breathing so heavy and moving uncomfortably. he crawled upto me and pressed his body against mine, as if he was trying to push through my skin, hide in me, hide from the pain and discomfort. i wrapped my arms around him.

there wasn't much i could do to soothe this kind of stomach ache. usually i'd rub his belly to get a blockage or gas moving or just rub to soothe a persistant ache. the cramps are usually the worst. they won't last long but they will come in waves and with such force he'd be screaming out in pain, screaming into my chest as he's holding onto me. holding on so tight that sometimes his grip will leave a faint mark on my body. when those cramps happen, all i can do is hold him tight, stroke his hair... shhh..shhh. this too, will pass

i couldn't rub this away. his stomach was really sensitive and i didn't want to make him more sick. we just layed there. i ran my hand in circles on his back, gently. he was breathing deep, then shallow, little moans and ow's. he started to shiver so i put the blanket on us. oowww i'm gonna get sick again, i can feel it creeping up on me. my stomach is making these queezy bubbly sounds mmm the pain is really bad oowwww. do you want me to get a bucket and some tissue ? oowww nooo that's discusting, i'll go to the bathroom to get sick mmm please just hold me... just hold.... oooww. Jamie ran to the bathroom and this time he closed the door. he was in the for quite some time and when he came out he looked so pale and so drained. he crawled back into bed. he curled up in a ball, clutching his belly so tightly. ooow this is bad, it hurts soooo bad. my insides are twisting, bubbling. what did this to me. i don't even know which food was bad. undercooked chicken maybe, idk. Jamie started crying, like heartbreakingly. baby... sweety, come here. shhh. calm down. i know it sucks and it's fucking unfair to you. i'm here... i'm here. he calmed down after a while, we talked about our childhood for a bit. Jamie dozed off in my arms. i am gonna be here for as long as it takes to get him back to health. i'd do anything to see a smile on his face and get back to his funny, witty self. The Jamie i know, the Jamie without the illness.

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aquafaith · 3 years

Text

My lengthy, angry ACOSF rant review.

Spoilers, TW for mental, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse.

I loved ACOTAR. I still love ACOTAR. I always will love ACOTAR. But every book afterwards made me give up more and more. ACOMAF romanticized an abusive relationship and assassinated characters for the author's convenience. ACOWAR was a bunch of boring and inconsequential death scares. ACOFAS was all-round dreadful. And each book kept shitting on and pushing away Lucien for no reason.

I'd like to preface this by saying I hated Nesta too. I hated the way she treated Feyre in ACOTAR especially, and I wasn't even too excited for this book because I wasn't that keen on Nesta as a character.

Nesta's POV and her backstory changed my perspective. It does not excuse her actions. All Nesta stans can hold these characters accountable for what they do - trauma is a reason, not an excuse. I, and many others, sided with Nesta because of the way she's treated by everyone else in this book. Also, if you're going to hate Nesta for not teaching Feyre how to read and letting her hunt at fourteen, (which I did, and are very valid things to hate), AT LEAST hold Elain accountable too.

This book. This fucking book.

Shall we start with the intervention? Feyre on her little power trip thinks that her boyfriend that hates Nesta and Nesta hates back, Nesta's ex-best friend, and her possible mate who she never talks to should be at this stupid fucking intervention??? Excuse me???

Remember in ACOMAF when Feyre wouldn't shut up about how rich Rhysand is? Feyre literally has four or five houses and is always talking about how much jewelry and lingerie she can afford because Rhysand is so rich??? Well, Nesta has a few shots. So you know what Feyre does? Humiliates Nesta at this "intervention", TEARS DOWN HER HOME, and forces her to go to the Illyrian training camp.

That was the god awful premise for this book.

Did you think Elain wasn't there because she was against the "intervention"? Nope! She was packing Nesta's belongings without permission.

Remember in ACOMAF when it's made a big fucking deal that locking up a traumatised woman is extremely damaging? Well, when Nesta decides she doesn't want to be in Illyria, Feyre locks her in the House of Wind. Nesta can't fly, so her only way of leaving is down the TEN THOUSAND STEPS, that Feyre KNOWS Nesta isn't capable of climbing.

Feyre's pregnant. In ACOFAS she randomly decided that she wanted a baby to remember Rhysand by if he dies. Which doesn't make any sense because they made that stupid fucking death pact in ACOWAR. It's just SJM superimposing her pregnancy onto her early 20's protagonist. Ignoring the fact that Feyre isn't ready for a baby and Rhysand CERTAINLY isn't, and with a war just ended and another looming and so much trauma and a DEATH PACT are all such horrible circumstances to bring a child into, Feyre is already pregnant. Remember when SJM made a big deal about Fae babies being so hard to conceive, and Feyre said in ACOFAS they wouldn't have to worry for a long time because it can take years to conceive your first Fae child? Well it's been no more than 3 or 4 months and Feyre's already pregnant. Yep.

Also the birth will kill her. Because of course it will. Rhysand KNEW this, and still agreed to try for a baby.

There's no solution. Abortions don't exist for some stupid reason, and a C section would apparently kill Feyre?

(Wasn't this book supposed to be about Nessian?)

In ACOWAR, Cassian was on the battlefield with his entrails around his knees. Someone had to literally hold his guts in for him, and he's fine, but you're telling me a C section would kill Feyre?

Don't worry, this is just setting up the AWFUL ending to this book.

ACOSF amounts to Nesta being gaslit into believing her abusers are right. Her friends and family slut shame her and shame her for her lifestyle constantly. Cassian says it took him decades to work through some of his trauma, and he tried to drink and fuck it away too, but suddenly when Nesta does so it's heinous? Nesta's barely twenty five and she's expected to cope better than these ancient immortals.

Hell, didn't SJM write ACOMAF? Nobody expected Feyre to pick herself up so quickly. The IC (excluding Rhysand) respected her boundaries for the most part and understood when it was grief, trauma, and turmoil that made her angry, sad, want to be left alone, etc. But that's all forgotten here.

Amren also compares Nesta to the people in, and says she belongs in, The Court of Nightmares. You know, the murderers, abusers and rapists? This innocent woman who had a few shots and a bit of sex is on par with them, apparently!

The sex scenes.

SJM is scared to say vagina so she says sex.

She says seed to mean semen.

Apparently the word cunt turns SJM on. I just found Cassian saying that kinda cringe because I'm Bri'ish so the word cunt really isn't a big deal.

Back to the baby killing Feyre, because this is definitely what we all wanted from this book as indicated by the change in covers and format and title... Rhysand decides not to tell Feyre. He tells her friends and family, and tells them not to tell her.

SJM loves sweeping Rhysand's abuse from the first book under the rug and claiming it's always about Feyre's choice... where is that here, MAAS? WHERE IS IT?

Anyway, when Nesta rightfully decides to tell Feyre (although it is kind of out of spite), Rhysand threatens to kill Nesta.

And I believed him. With the way he treats his """mAtE tHaT hE lOvEs sO mUcH""" and all the people he's mindlessly killed before, do you really think he wouldn't kill the person who gave Feyre an inch of autonomy?

So what does Cassian do? His lover who he cares deeply about and suspects is his mate has received a death threat from tHe mOsT pOwErFuL hIgH lORd iN hIsToRy.

Cassian simply gets Nesta out of the court.

EXCUSE ME?

He doesn't breathe ONE word to Rhysand about this. This Illyrian WARRIOR who fought with his GUTS HANGING OUT didn't dare step up to the hIGh lOrD who he considers his brother and sparrs and fights with all the time?

Cassian literally does nothing.

Was it not Rhysand himself who said Mated males are dangerous? Can kill anyone who looks at their mate? Can be dangerous simply leaving the house? Rhys and Feyre both pull the Mate card to justify their bad actions on the other's behalf... and Cassian just tried to get Nesta out of the court?

Also, this High King bullshit.

I swear to fucking god, if SJM DARES to make this abusive, power-tripping, mOsT pOwErFuL hIgH lOrD eVEr, husband-insert of hers hIgH kInG, I will fight her in the street.

My beloved Lucien is in this book. Only for him to be used and shat on.

I really liked it when he calmed Cassian down with just a look though. Yes please fox man.

Helion is also in this book. Nothing to do with Lucien.

Eris is also in this book. ERIS. Lucien's eldest brother. The same one who abused him for years, but according to SJM he's slightly better, because at least he didn't agree to kill Lucien's lover. He betrayed his daddy that one time, therefore Eris is good. Y'know, the same Eris who abused Mor? Left her laying on the Autumn Court border with a nail in her womb? Well SJM is going back on her own canon to redeem yet ANOTHER abusive male, while continuing to demonize Tamlin for things he only happened to do when SJM decided the villain from the first book was sexy.

Nesta and Cassian are Mates.

Remember when Mates were supposed to be a rare and sacred thing? Now SJM dishes them out like Oprah.

I don't want these characters to be mates. I want to see them slowly fall in love. But SJM is incapable of writing that so she forces them together with the mAtInG bOnD. That's literally the only basis for most of these relationships, Feysand especially.

The only relationship where the bond would make sense is between Helion and The Lady of Autumn. Who still isn't named. But I will die on the hill that they're mates, I can feel it between them.

I wanted someone to die in this book. I predicted that it would either be Helion or Tarquin, but Tarquin isn't even in this one.

And the ending.

SJM can't write a decent climax, so she kills both Feyre and Rhysand for the second time. Yep.

The baby is being born which stupidly kills Feyre, and thankfully takes Rhysand with them.

Nesta decides to save them. Bad choice. But she decides to save them! Because she's so powerful and she ATE THE CONTENTS OF THE CAULDRON and she's CONNECTED TO THE MOTHER.

Do you know what happens.

Nesta loses her powers.

NESTA.

LOSES.

HER.

POWERS.

The powers we've hardly seen, the powers that were briefly mentioned and used ONCE in ACOWAR, then we saw like two flashes of in this book? They're GONE now. GONE SO NESTA CAN SAVE HER ABUSIVE SISTER AND ABUSIVE HUSBAND WHO ABUSES THEM BOTH.

Nesta is just an Amren now. They both fought for their powers, and had to give them up to save people who didn't deserve it. Now they're anticlimactically trapped in powerless bodies.

Also, and I can't BELIEVE I didn't originally include this - do you know what else Nesta TRADED HER POWERS FOR?

Illyrian anatomy so she can carry Cassian's baby one day.

EXCUSE ME?

I am so fucking SICK TO DEATH of the narrative that every woman needs a man and children to be happy. SJM clearly loves this because she's literally only keeping Amren and Nesta alive now to be sex objects to their partners and nothing else seeing as their POWERS WERE RIPPED AWAY FROM THEM, and now NESTA TRADED THOSE POWERS TO HAVE A BABY SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW SHE WANTS? Nesta does NOT strike me as a motherly type. She's the wine aunt, she and Cassian are the couple that go on holiday a lot and and babysit their nieces and nephews, but nope. Nesta HAS to have children.

The Feysand baby is called Nyx. That's just so underwhelming, you go from these huge, multiple syllable names like Amarantha and Morrigan and Lucien to Nyx? I get it's supposed to be unique but it's not even meaningful. It's just more shit-flavoured icing on the hAHa nIgHt uWu cake. I prefer Renesmée.

Nesta is wrong somehow. She says she's sorry as she's saving them. FOR WHAT? For being a little rude to Feyre as all sisters are? And rightfully hating your sister's abuser?

Oh yeah, remember in ACOWAR when Nesta took care of a comatose, starving Elain for months? Elain is randomly okay now because she takes care of her mental health the stereotypical way of baking cakes, and not drinking and fucking, which she shames Netsa for.

Remember the slut shaming, demeaning comments that the whole iNnEr cIrClE made about Nesta? They all expect apologies from her. For some reason.

Nesta has done nothing wrong. She coped with her trauma and minded her business in her own ways, and she's expected to apologise to the people who control and emotionally abuse her.

Nothing that any of these characters did to Nesta is right. Nesta wasn't okay at the end, this wasn't Nesta's healing story. This is Nesta being shamed and degraded until she submits.

Oh I can't believe I forgot to write this in my first draft of this review, do you know how Nesta "overcomes" her grief about her Father's death and her conflicting feelings about him and his life and her guilt? When she visits his grave for the first time, she takes Nyx.

NYX.

She holds NYX up to the grave and talks about how it's his grandson.

GO AWAY YOU STUPID DEMON BABY THIS IS NOT YOUR BOOK.

Speaking of, it's revealed that Nesta was abused by her mother and grandmother in this book? Something we were all looking forward to is seeing more of the Archeron's mother seeing as Feyre was so young when she died, but... nope. She gets a few vague mentions, and this newly revealed abuse is entirely glossed over. Nesta was also actively groomed by an older man at 14. But SJM glosses over this because of course she does.

Finally, the bonus chapters.

My edition came with a bonus chapter from Feyre's POV. It was pointless and I hated it.

There's another bonus chapter from Azriel's POV. Once I'd finished this book, he was one of the few characters I still harboured a shred of respect for.

Then I read his bonus chapter.

This exists to purely objectify Elain.

Whether you ship Elain with Azriel, or Lucien, or neither, this chapter is disgusting. He thinks about her coming on his tounge, and other things simply just to please him.

He then dares to suggest that "the Cauldron picked wrong" in choosing Lucien as Elain's mate?

No Azriel, SJM picked RIGHT in not giving each Archeron sister a bAt bOy.

Rhysand does the only right thing he's ever done by telling Azriel to stay away from Elain, but then he has to ruin it by clarifying that it's only so they can manipulate and use Lucien more.

Oh, and Azriel wants to kill Lucien.

Need I remind you that Lucien respects Azriel? Lucien is another victim of the Night Court's needless, baseless torment, and Azriel is no exception.

Lucien stays well out of Elain's way because she makes it clear that she's not interested in a mate, but Azriel wants to kill him simply for being her mate.

Lucien has done nothing. And I mean literally NOTHING to warrant any of this treatment. From the bAt bOyS, from Feyre, from his family, from SJM, from the deluded part of this fandom that think he's done wrong. NOTHING.

All I liked about this book was the Lucien scenes (which is a given), ((although I hated the way everyone talks about him behind his back)), Nesta's relationship with the house, Emerie and Gwyn, the evidence that Gwynriel is endgame and subsequently Elucien, and the book love. Everything else was horrible. Oh, and Nesta hates Rhysand. I love that for her, because everyone else bows at his feet.

Oh yeah, when Nesta DARES suggest that Rhysand is an "arrogant, preening asshole" which I think is a compliment, Cassian can't take Rhys' cock out of his mouth for one second, and has to get mad at her for having an opinion. Don't even get me started on Azriel in that scene.

If each book after ACOTAR made me slowly give up, this book made me give up altogether. I cannot go on to support this victim-blaming, abuse-forgiving, misogynistic series. I've given up on SJM, and the only characters I care about anyone are Lucien, Nesta, Helion, and Tarquin. I'll continue to read this series to see if SJM redeems herself, but I'll be downloading them for free. I'm not giving this piece of shit any more of my money.

I hope we don't get the Lucien book. I don't want her to slaughter my fox in the way she slaughtered LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE.

Thanks for listening.

Edit: I put the review on Goodreads!

#anti acotar #anti acomaf #anti acowar #anti acofas #anti acosf #anti sjm #anti feysand #anti rhysand

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dalasteller · 3 years

Text

shadow and bone spoilers! malina/mal fans this is not for you but it’s not pro-darklina either. i’m an alina x alina supremacist

so, somehow, the show made me like book!malina more than show!malina after weeks of thinking the opposite would be true. i don’t even like book!mal/malina, but my neutrality towards them is nothing compared to how much i detested show!malina.

I WANTED THE TV SHOW TO MAKE ME LOVE THEM. the trailers made me think i would!!! i'd heard screeners and reviewers talk about this epic love story that transcends everything—these two people who would do anything for each other—and i don't disagree, they definitely would. i just wish they would shut the fuck up about it.

sorry.

looking back, i'd rather the show gave us mal with flaws, who wasn't perfect to alina, who would die for her, but still said the wrong thing and flirted with other girls and was afraid of her power at first. archie did a great job. he just couldn't make me love mal, and neither could the writers opting to make him main character no. 2 and alina’s prince in shining armour who supports her endlessly and has never done anything wrong in his life ever. writers, please, why did you think that was a good idea? when i said i wanted a more likeable mal, i meant i wanted his flaws accompanied by positive traits, by compelling backstory, by personality outside of being alina's hot best friend who never noticed her. i didn't mean i wanted a guy who could be wrapped in a gift box and sold as a robo-boyfriend designed for romance.

no, i mean, they really did write him that way.

what i definitely didn't mean i wanted was over an hour of the show dedicated to watching mal’s perspective of hunting the stag and making besties with his military bros and writing letters to alina and getting shot at a bunch of times instead of letting the book characters who were already beloved by fans get the screentime they deserved. what i wouldn't do to have gotten more genyalina and well-written zoya instead of mal dissecting deer shit...

you would think with how much talk about malina basically being soulmates, childhood flashbacks, fighting and nearly dying for each other at least four times (and did i mention more narration about being soulmates?) that i would take the bait and just let malina set sail. but this show held me at gunpoint for eight hours straight and told me that these two are going to have the same cultural influence as new romeo and juliet and that if i disagree i am going to be killed on the spot. because of this, i have now died.

don't tell me what to do, narrative, because i'm not going to do it!

i am also annoyed that they took the time to redesign mal in perfect childhood-friends-to-lovers dreamboat fashion but refused to retcon zoya's stupid misogyny-fueled bitchy YA girl arc and instead made it even worse by having her be racist to alina? what was the thought process there? they seriously fucked her over. i tried to pretend it didn't happen moving forward but why do they want to use racism as a tool for developing a "bully" character anyway, especially a woc? am i meant to forget about it? they lost me there. i feel like the female characters, with the exception of inej, generally weren't given the same care the male characters were. there was a lot of sidelining in favour of mal's redemptive rewrite and the darkling's 15 minutes of half-assed backstory and crying in every scene for some reason. “make me your villain” .... okay, simpboy, i’ll try my best.

i've already talked about why i hated mal's role (i clarify his role, not his character, because there was literally nothing wrong with him and that’s why i hated him so much) but i'm going to address it from the perspective of my love for alina and why i think this decision was so disrespectful to her. alina in the books was already in need of more characterization, time for herself and her internal development as opposed to her relationship with the three male love interests she acquires through the series. somehow this show took a main character already underused in her own story (though at least the books are told from her pov) and neglected her even further. alina is tied almost entirely to her male counterparts, mal especially, but i'd say the darkling is used as a narrative rebound. i think they both have chemistry and can serve a purpose in the story but the emphasis on codependency is impossible to ignore.

in the first four episodes, every scene that could have been alina struggling to settle into a new life and dealing with the emotional weight of her pressure as a saint was instead about mal. she writes him letters, and cries over him, and slips him into conversations that have nothing to do with him, and gets sad after slipping him into conversations that have nothing to do with him, and can't use her power because she's thinking of him, and then only decides to fully accept her power because of his absence.

alina's feelings are lended to nothing but her missing mal. he isn't just her best friend and love, he's this colossal piece of her identity that she doesn't get to exist without, even when he's gone. the show's exhaustive attempt to make mal loveable and make malina an epic love story turns our female protagonist into a sulking, miserable shell of a character everytime he's mentioned, which, by the way, is like, every two minutes. and apparently it's necessary to draw parallels to the same three flashbacks in all of them. i knoowwwwwwww, they held hands and now they can't anymore, i knowwww. they ran through a meadow, i knowwwwwwwwwwwwww.

watching her scenes almost drove me to printing out a bechdel test and ticking off as many boxes as possible.

i hated it. it made me sad.

i wanted more alina. i want her power to be her own. i wanted that tension between her and mal in the books because his flaws gave her a chance to stand up for herself and say that she liked being powerful. that summoning is a part of her and she would never give it up. that there was a tinge of corruption, of greed, of wanting to be the sun summoner, and it was intriguing! mal's issue of not accepting alina's power allowed her to express how much it meant to her. i wanted the alina who said "the night was velvety black and strewn with jewels. the hunger struck me suddenly. i want them, i thought." i wanted a hint of the sun summoner who decided when it got dark and relished in it (yes i know this can be expanded upon in s2). alina has a cocky side, her insecurities are explored and she finds strength in her new gift and eventually has to find strength outside of it, but in the show the catalyst to her powers is mal. always. is it romantic? sure. but it's hard to enjoy the romance when all we see of alina is her romantic connection to mal. can't she be more than that?

#anti malina #i dont use tumblr and i hate discourse so just block if this take bothers you because i can’t be asked to engage in an argument on here #sab spoilers #shadow and bone #shadow and bone spoilers #tgt #alina starkov #anti malyen oretsev

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shyrose57 · 3 years

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Brothers anon, it makes me really happy and comforts me that you enjoy reading what I submit. It makes me really happy to write all of this and finally be able to tell someone my ideas. Thank you so much.

At first he kept trying to deny the father figure role, but when one night Jackie had a nightmare and came to him and ended up calling him dad, he stopped denying it and accepted it. And once he accepted it he did basically adopt all of them. Jackie and Grievous are literally chaos incarnate most days. They regularly love to prank the contestants and just act insane. Ran and Jackie just kind of hang around eachother, like Ran could be reading and Jackie training and they'd enjoy eachothers company. They do sometimes nap next to eachother, or play card games (which is a rare instance where Ran gets (playfully) rilled up and competitive). Grievous and Ran bonding sadly gets interrupted when Ranbob suddenly drops in, but before that Grievous would try to talk to Ran about what book he's reading and just try to make conversation with him.

Oh the height difference definitely remains. And its both terrifying and hailours to new people. It's even better when it's a 2v2 fight because Jackie has a habit of just climbing Ran like a monkey gym and sitting on his shoulders and its terrifying.

Well, since the drinking age is 3, I personally think the age limit is like 14 or something close. I believe I made their ages as Ran is 19 (almost 20. Maybe 4 months away), Jackie is 16, Watson is 30 something, Grievous is 22, and Ranbob is 28 (Ran is younger than his brother by 9 years) I have written down all their ages somewhere (and the ages where the events of Mizu took place) and if I got any wrong I will submit another ask with their ages. The other gladiators have managed to keep good relationships with most of eachother. A few like Grievous and Genevieve are close, Edward, Levi, and Watson are drinking buddies. Lagguis sadly isn't as involved cause he is sick and can't vist often at all. (I think I got everyone. Tell me if I missed anyone please, I cant check cause whenever I exit tumblr, tumblr deletes everything in my ask :') )

I dont have many rules for the Pit rn but I do have, no injuries that could cause long term or chronic damage, no sabotaging opponents, no teaming unless its a team round, no blackmail or anything of the sort to force an opponent to forfeit, and in order for a battle to end due to forfeit both sides must agree to it. But the Pit in general is a lot of things, there's fights for money, fame, and positions (like general). There's tournaments meant for nothing other than to show skill and just to fight your heart out. It's open to anyone above 14 and anyone under 80, to people from Subbin to those just passing through.

And there are different battles in the Pit, theres singles, the ones we saw in the Tales of the SMP episode. Teams, where teams of 2 battles against eachother. Free-for-all, where literally everyone fights against eachother. And Ion battles, battles where there are super powered weapons (like flame 2 iron sword. Or strength 3 potions) that spawn in the area at random. Typically Ran and Watson work best toghere, as their strategists and plan everything with back up plans, and they always call out warnings and watch eachothers back so its incredibly hard to actually hit them. And Jackie and Grievous work best toghere, with the two going insane and often taking people by surprise with their unmeasure and randomized movements and attacks.

At the start Ranbob was completely under Dreams thrall, not being able to really think for himself and even foregoing self care. When Ranbob starts to become himself again the fishermen are more than confused and hesitant, with Cletus especially stating multiple times that it may just be a trick. So it takes a while but Isaac actually is the one to suggest maybe it isn't a trick, and has to do with the mask that was found. This is later confirmed when the mask is brought to the group and Ranbob has a massive negative reaction that sets him back to how he was when they first met him.

Im honestly not sure yet, I think I want it to be a 'lets never go back' type thing but im not positive yet.

I dont have a solid backstory for the fishermen, but I know I want a little bit of it to tie to the story. Do you have any ideas for their backstory or nah? I do know I want them to have met eachother while they where in unfortunate situations and because of those they got family level close.

Ranbob doesn't take the little space well at first; staying outside when able too, even though that really upset Benjamin; and Ranbob has no idea how the outside works and has no idea how to read the weather or what he can and cant eat, but hey the enderman boi is trying his best to make up for everything he's done. And trying to build his own house to not impose on the fishermen (much like Ranboo did with Techno), but Benjamin wouldn't accept that and kept dragging him inside. It wasn't that hard for Benjamin, Isaac, and Charles to get used to Ranbob, already being used to sharing a small house, it was more Cletus with him refusing to leave Ranbob alone even for a second because he doesn't trust Ranbob at all.

The two groups actually get along surprisingly well! They like eachother and Watson once said, "It was like a family reunion. Or like long lost siblings finally found their way home."

I am once again not sure! Originally I planned for them to stay in Subbin and in the Pit. But the more I think about it the more boring that is and more I like the idea of the groups traveling toghere in the world.

I like this question! So enderman travel in groups called hauntings right? I personally headcanon the enderman in this group are basically family, biological or not. And ever since Ran and Ranbob lost their family they lost their haunting, which can be mentally damaging to a enderman. Once Ran found Waston, Jackie, and Grievous and started hanging around them more, he started feeling a connection ot them he hasn't felt on a long time. He's claimed them, as his haunting, his family. And he'll defend them with his life against anyone and anything. And then suddenly Ranbob came in, a enderman that should be part of his haunting but isn't, a enderman that killed his previous haunting. So Ran is incredibly defensive over his group, and is trying his best to keep Ranbob as far from his haunting as possible, to protect them.

Now Ranbob also got a haunting, his being Charles, Isaac, Benjamin, and even Cletus. So Ranbob is also defensive over his family. But unlike Ran, Ranbob still considers his brother as part of his haunting, his family (and yes, Ranbob did think Ran was dead when he first chased him out years ago, so he's shocked and relieved that his baby brother is still alive). And he sees how his family gets along so well with Rans family and then starts to even consider Rans haunting part of Ranbob's. Basically Ranbob has a big heart and is willing to accept almost anyone into his family, no matter what they've done.

Yep, the reason Porkius is so interested in Ran is because he's an enderman hybrid. And no one else is a hybrid expect for the two brothers (and Porkius, with him being a piglin hybrid).

Porkius is excited! He's excited to see what happens and is more than happy to agree to help as long as he is kept in the loop. Though unless he's directly asked to be involved he prefers watching from a distance at whats happening. Just so he doesn't get mauled by a pissed off enderman.

Sorry for any spelling mistakes (its late) and its so long! Im probably going to try to shorten them.

I’m glad you’re happy, it’s a nice thing to feel. Your ideas are really cool, and I hope I’ll get to see more of them in the future.

Now, can I simply say how adorable so much of this is? Jackie going to Watson when he had a nightmare, the Rans being protective of their groups, Jackie climbing Ran? I love that, it’s very heartwarming and cute, and it made me smile.

So Watson wasn’t really sure what to do with his new title at first, hm? And then Jackie called him dad? How’d he feel about that? How’d Jackie feel about the slip? Or did he even notice? He’s parenting them all, he’s gonna have a dad voice and everything. How do the adopted ones feel about him embracing it?

Jackie and Grievous, two people to truly fear when they wish to cause havoc. Tremble before them. Do they prank people, or do they just become absolute madmen on the battlefield? Or something else. Honestly, anything with these two just instantly makes me amused.

Jackie and Ran being chill buddies. very nice. Ran getting competitive over card games is a funny thought. Does he win often? Does Jackie? What kind of card games do they play?

Rather sad Ran and Grievous bonding is interrupted, but it’s nice to hear Grievous trying it. Hopefully they’ll get there someday.

Oh my god, it’s the height difference. Jackie getting on Ran’s shoulder sounds absolutely terrifying. Imagine being some poor new guy pitted against these gremlins and the short ones climbs on the tall ones shoulder-both look absolutely gleeful with the destruction they’re about to wreak, and you already know you cannot outrun them.

Jackie...Jackie...he’s da youngest. He’s small, and young, and you have no idea how much I’m laughing at this. I don’t even know why, it’s just really, really funny to me. Probably something to do with what a complete force of chaos we all know this boy is. Oddly fitting, but hilarious. How does Jackie feel about this?

How do the others? Are they a bit more protective over him? Does Ran like to flaunt his three years more over him?

Grievous and Genevieve are buddies! Very nice, they seem to have a good dynamic. Watson, Edward, and Levi also being close? Very interesting, has a lot of potential. I bet they share a lot of funny stories.

So we’ve established the basics of The Pit. Doesn’t seem too bad, for a fighting arena, to be honest. Seems pretty popular, actually. Do the gladiators live there? In the palace? Or do they just have a house somewhere nearby? What kind of establishments and areas are around? Food places, stores?

So Ran and Watson are the scariest team because of their strategy, and Jackie and Grievous are the scariest team because of their randomness? It checks out. I’m curious though, how do the other combinations work out?

Ranbob sounds like he has a less than fun time here, and the poor guy could really use some closure. What’s he like, free from the influence of the mask? He seems pretty close to Benjamin, so at least he’s got that going for him. Though he and Cletus don’t seem to have the strongest bond at first. How is that resolved?

And how does Ran feel about his brother’s new haunting, after everything? I imagine that he’s at least a little bit unhappy with it, for one reason or another-and there’s quite a few reasons for him to pick from.

How did that house-building attempt go, between Ran never being above water, and probably never building a house before? I can’t imagine too well.

Some ideas for backstory, well, hm. Isaac seemed dressed a bit fancier than the others, perhaps he comes from a richer family than the others? That’s about all I’ve got for now, sorry.

It’s nice to hear they got along, who clicks the easiest?

Possible road trip? Always fun.

So, the enderman hybrids have adopted their respective groups as their hauntings. You’ve mentioned Ranbob’s pretty cool with this, how does Ran feel? Obviously, he’s less than pleased with Ranbob, but what about the fishermen? Protective Ran and Ranbob! How protective exactly? Is it subtle, or overbearing at times? Actually, how do their instincts lead to them interacting with their groups overall?

Porkius must not see Ender hybrids too often, if he’s so interested in them. It’s nice that he’s willing to help out though, and his concern is valid. I wouldn’t want an angry enderman hybrid after me either.

Are hybrids not overly common, then, if there’s only Ran, Ranbob, and Porkius around currently, or are they just not mentioned a lot?

Thanks for the ask, a lot of it made me smile. I enjoyed reading it, and I hope you’ll be willing to send more when you have the time.

#dream smp #Brothers AU #dream smp au #tales from the smp #ranbob #ran #jackie #watson #isaac #charles #benjamin #cletus #grievous #porkius

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fictionalrambles · 4 years

Text

Shadowhunters Fandom Story - Part Fifteen

Submitted by jwrites_

Five Favourite Fics:

1. What's It Gonna Be by @lemonoclefox

Why I love this fic: I'm a sucker for Pride & Prejudice. San was able to take that dynamic and put it all in a modern day telling of it. I can't count how many times I've read this. Sometimes I read it all the way through, other times I go and find my favorite parts just to get that rush of emotions it never fails to give. The enemies to lovers is done perfectly, the dialogue is great and flows seamlessly, the way she tied in the storyline between Simon, Isabelle, Valentine, and Alec together was genius. I truly love every word of this story.

Favorite scene: Awkward - love - confession - in - the - rain

Favorite quote(s):

(Yes. Love confessions are great but have you ever overheard someone say something rude about you and then have the opportunity later that same night to be able to casually call that person out for their comment?)

"Her friend is..." He trails off, as though searching for the word, and Magnus can imagine him gesturing in the meantime. "Interesting," Jace eventually settles on, pointedly.

"Who, that Bane guy?" Alec says, and as he does, Magnus is hit with a wave of intrigued surprise. Does Alec like men? Interesting. The assumption could be wrong, of course, but Jace's tone implies that that's why he's mentioning it. "He's a bit over the top, don't you think?"

He sounds almost disdainful as he says it, as though Jace's mere suggestion is laughable, and Magnus's intrigue immediately shifts to offended annoyance. He straightens a little where he stands, reluctantly affected by it.

"I mean, love songs are great," Magnus admits lightly. "But stringing a few pretty words together does seem a bit unoriginal when everyone does it."

Simon shoves him lightly in offense, and Magnus can't help but laugh.

"Then what do you suggest?" Magnus is taken completely by surprise when he realizes that it's Alec who's speaking, and he turns to him. The guy's expression is neutral, but seems genuinely curious.

"Oh, I don't know," Magnus says, swirling his drink around in his glass. He shrugs. "I suppose I'm more a fan of showing and not telling. I'd much prefer someone showing interest in what I like and who I am, than comparing my eyes to the night sky, and whatnot." He gestures airily, then hesitates. He suddenly can't seem to stop himself, the memory of the Lightwoods' overheard conversation bubbling to the surface. "I think most people can appreciate that. Even if some of us are a bit over the top."

--Okay...I'm gonna go ahead and throw in a love confession~

"Look, I don't expect anything from you," he says, as though the words are hard to say. "You've made your feelings pretty clear, and I respect that. But I heard you talked to my mom, and with the stuff you said to her... I guess it just kind of made me a bit hopeful, or something. A bit." He clears his throat, while Magnus just listens. He turns to watch Alec's profile as the young man struggles to find the words, eyes on the view in front of him. "Either way, I'll admit that how I feel hasn't really changed. Maybe it should have, but..."

Alec shakes his head, and Magnus feels his throat go dry. He wants to interrupt Alec, wants to say and show everything that's bursting out of his chest, but he waits. Alec takes a deep breath then, turns to him. He looks determined.

"If you want me to," he says steadily, "I'll go. I'll leave you alone, I promise. You won't hear from me again." He pauses, licks his lips. "But if you don't want me to, if something has changed since last time, somehow... I'd really like to know. Because that would be pretty great."

2. 42 North 71 West by @lecrit

Why I love this fic: I was blessed with the opportunity to witness Lu working on this fic from its conception to its end. I was there and still I am blown away at the way she was able to work the time jumps. I remember thinking with every chapter I read, 'Wow. The way she is telling this story is amazing. She is amazing.' Lu has a way of presenting so much honesty in her characters. She writes them in a way that feels so real, that you can't help but understand their fears and hesitations even though it hurts. The story is a back and forth told through scenes set in the past and present. You get to see what they were and where they are. The story is beautifully heartbreaking. And she was able to make me enjoy a story that dealt with politics? What? Sorcery, I tell you. -- also, the bench.

Favorite scene: This was almost impossible to choose and I took way too long trying to pinpoint just one. But I'm going to go with one that I hold very dear. When Magnus goes to visit Alec on his birthday and he finds Alec playing the song he only plays when he's sad. That's all I'm going to say because I don't want to spoil~

Favorite quote(s):

“Magnus,” Alec breathes out.

The name feels almost foreign, as if he hadn’t uttered it in too long and now his mind is troubling to catch up with his mouth. Still, it manages to make Alec’s heart stutter.

“We should’ve stayed on that bench in Boston,” he murmurs.

The good thing is, he knows where to go to find his way back. It is inked on his body, engraved into his soul, sealed into his heart.

3. Lead The Way by Clockworkswan

Why I love this fic: Because it takes the wonderful adventure of Doctor Who and packs it in with Malec. This is the ultimate fun and feel good but you will also cry at one point fic. I always go back to it if I want a wonderfully written Doctor Magnus and his adorable companion Alec. Seriously, even if you're not into Doctor Who, give this fic a shot. It's written in a way that you will get so caught up in the adventure that you won't even realize it's based on something else. And if you're a Doctor Who fan, you're in luck with all the little Easter Eggs Heather left throughout.

Favorite scene: I really don't want to spoil anything. The planet of Ablorix. This will mean nothing if you don't read the fic (so you should ;])

Favorite quote(s):

Magnus extends a hand. It’s just like before, when they were in the hallway a couple of weeks ago. It’s just as inviting as it was the first time.

“How about it, pretty boy? Name a star. Any one will do. Or a date,” Magnus says. The double meaning is evident when he winks. He pauses then, and his expression shifts, growing solemn.

A clear shift in his demeanour happens. Magnus turns from playful to sincere in the blink of an eye. Although, there was also a serious tone to it. Magnus looks at him, and understanding eyes meet Alec’s hesitant ones. “Alexander, you seem like a man in need of a break, and I am very much a man in need of a friend. Adventures are always a quick way in figuring out what you want. What do you say?”

What does he say?

He says yes.

Of course Alec does.

Before Magnus can think of a good retort, he tries to ignore the clenching ache his stomach gives at the sight of a confident, smirking Alec Lightwood watching him so openly. He settles for pointing in a random direction. “I have to go and see a dog about a man. Meet back here in five?”

“Uh, isn’t the expression, ‘see a man about a dog’?”

“Not when the dog ran off with the man’s wife. A rather big scandal, it seems. The president wants me to try and step in. Smooth things over, so to speak.”

At that, Alec just stares blankly.

Magnus holds up a finger. “Yes, this is normal for me. No, you may not come along. Go.”

4. Love & Other Drugs prequel of Our Love Is A Harsh Chord in the Semi-charmed Kind Life series by @la-muerta

Why I love this fic: I'm kind of cheating here by listing two fics but they're a package deal. Love & Other Drugs was a smutty one-shot that left me wanting

more...

backstory. Let me tell you the pining and 'unrequited' love between those two demanded a story to be written. Which is why when la_muerta ran a poll on whether or not she should start it or another series first, I campaigned for this one like it was my job (I lost but I still got the series eventually so did I really lose?) The writing in this and with all of la_muerta's fics will hook you. The sadness over the back and forth between them is done so well. It's angst that will grip you and hold onto you until you eventually finish. Just go on the twitter hashtag of #OLIAHCfic and see my screaming.

Favorite scene: Probably the LSD scene.

Favorite quote(s):

Alec was still here, in bed with him.

How many times had Magnus wished that he could wake up with Alec in his arms? He didn't dare to move, wanting the dream to last a little longer, but Alec was already stirring.

he'll wonder if life would be a little easier if he wasn't hopelessly in love with Magnus, but it is a fact of who he is now: Alec Lightwood is 6'3, has dark hair, is gay, and is in love with Magnus Bane.

They are lying next to each other now, turned on their sides and face to face. The world is no longer warped and weird, but glowing and perfect. Magnus is tracing a path of lightning down Alec's body with his fingertips, and in a moment of clarity Alec understands that in Magnus' eyes he is as beautiful as he thinks Magnus is (it is the first thing Alec forgets when he wakes up sober later).

Words aren't enough to express how he feels, but they've always understood each other better when clumsy words don't get in the way.

5. The Lonely Hearts Hotline by @unrestrainedlyexcessive

Why I love this fic: It's funny, it's endearing, it's heart wrenching, it's sexy, etc. The way Alec is written in this fic is one of my favorite characterizations. The way his situation can resonate with so many young adults today. That feeling when you're an adult and you feel like you should know what to do with your life and who you should be but the truth is, you're still just as lost as always. Being an adult sucks tbh and even when you're an adult, sometimes life doesn't quite feel like it. Alec's character and growth in this fic is beautiful. (I also really loved Jace in this fic)

Favorite scene: A tough choice. Probably the office party and follow up scene in Magnus' office.

Favorite quote(s):

The problem with being a new grad, in general, is that the world and job force demands you have experience, but you have to live a certain number of productive years on the planet to gain that experience.

Early adulthood is no man's land. You don’t have the experience to matter and no one wants to pay you to gain it, hence how he ended up in the precarious situation he’s in: dodgy sex work by night, an even dodgier roommate, and desperately hoping an internship eventually turns into an actual paying job.

Magnus runs his tongue down the knobs of Alec's spine. "You're so beautiful," he says, pausing.

"I'm really not," Alec insists, eyes fluttering closed.

"Why are you so kind to everyone except yourself?"

"I'm a work in progress."

"Aren't we all?"

#shadowhunters #shadowhunters fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfiction blog

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phcking-detective · 5 years

Text

7. Partners, Stasis, & Fresh Hot Murder

Fic Title: First Blood

Rating: E

Length: 7/33 chapters, ~128k

Tags: Slow Burn, Idiots to Lovers, Trans Character (gavin), Autistic / Asexual / Non-binary Character (nines), BDSM, learning to use good etiquette and safe words, Dom Nines / Sub Gavin, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort

Chapter Tags: sleepover 2.0, insomnia, nightmares, crying, referenced childhood abandonment, technically that’s for both Gavin and Nines, references to abuse in general, very sad backstories, oversharing, not-quite-bed-sharing, gunshot victim, blood, wounds described medically but not too graphically, implied homophobia

Link on AO3

***

The human one apartment below is smoking. The toxins drift up through the air vents in Gavin's apartment and contaminates his living room as well. The neighbor directly to the left snores loudly from a severe case of sleep apnea, and in two apartments up and one over, a male and female human couple are having sex. The male has to pause his rhythm every thirty seconds to prevent premature ejaculation.

Nines dismisses a possible mission statement urging him to kick down their apartment door and pleasure the female human himself. That would be extremely unpleasant for everyone involved (most of all himself) but if that man doesn't—

does not—

A preconstruction of Gavin's voice finishes the thought.

[doesn't figure out where her fucking clit is]

Nines is going to scream.

Or maybe go suffocate the human snorting and gasping again. If it cannot even breathe right while sleeping, two of humanity's most basic subroutines, Nines will be doing the collective genetic pool a favor.

[There is a traffic accident at 51st and Harvard with two inj]

Nines disables that notification feed for the fifth time tonight. He relocates from the corner of Gavin's living room that gives the best sightlines to the front door and sits on the couch instead. Laying prone would put him in too vulnerable a position but perhaps sitting will be an acceptable compromise.

[initiating: STASIS protocol in 5]

[4 …]

[3 …]

[A burglary has been reported at 5777 North]

Nines stands. The length of Gavin's living room is ten paces for him. The kitchen extends it another four-and-a-half paces but the fake-tile linoleum actually manages to be an even worse texture than the carpet.

[equip shoes]

[exit the building]

[return to location: apartment – personal]

Nines runs the preconstruction. He has not previously achieved stasis at that location either. His chance of doing so tonight are minimal. At least here he has access to his partner's vital statistics in case of—

Nines snaps his head over to stare at the bedroom door. That.

He waits in silence for several seconds. The apartment complex continues to be a cacophony of depression and depravity. Detective Gavin Reed's vitals maintain his highest priority however, and the next sniffle overrides all other audio input.

Nines enters Gavin's bedroom. He has not been given permission to do so, but police units are also allowed to enter residencies without permission if they hear sounds of distress.

His entrance is quiet enough to go unnoticed and Gavin appears to have his face pressed too deeply into his pillow to note the temporary increase of light before he closes the door. This further validates Nines' stance on sleep and vulnerability.

"Detective."

Nines is rewarded for checking in on his sleeping partner with a shout and a gun aimed at his face. Excellent. Since the human is biologically required to sleep, it makes sense that he would do so with a weapon beneath his pillow.

"Detective."

"Jesus—you! Phck!!”

Gavin has to stop to sniffle again, voice thick and congested. Nines resists the urge to purchase a neti pot, have it express delivered, and waterboard his sinuses with it.

“Goddammit, Nines, what do you want?" he demands, lowering the gun.

"I heard sounds of distress."

"I will fucking shoot you."

The gun stays safely pointed at the floor. Nines zooms in on the tear tracks on Gavin's cheeks. His analysis system helpfully pops up in his HUD in preparation for taking a sample, but he doubts he's allowed to touch the human's face at this moment.

Nines leaves the room.

He can still hear Gavin muttering of course. Complaining about being woken up (incorrect; the human was already awake and crying) and fucking androids (the expletive, not the action), and then yelling at him to come back and close the door. Nines does so when he returns with a chair from the kitchen. He sets the chair against the wall and sits down.

"What?" Gavin stares at him. "What—?"

He suddenly ducks his head down, flicks the safety on, and tucks his service weapon back between the mattress and the wall. His BPM increases until he finally throws the covers back and sits up at the edge of the bed to glare wildly at Nines with direct eye contact.

"Is this what you wanted to fucking see, huh?"

Nines notes that his armpits are soaked with sweat. Red marks mar the skin of his inner thighs. The scrapes are consistent with human nails, from a hand approximately the size of the human’s own. There is a substance between Gavin's nails that his system prompts him to analyze, so it is likely blood and skin tissue.

His phallus is also in a state of arousal, pressed up beneath his boxers. The human tenses when Nines' scan focuses on that. Sometimes fear can also produce arousal. If Nines were allowed to analyze Gavin's fluids, he could determine if the sweat and tears his body has manufactured are a result of fear, stress, or aggression.

"You wanna see a human cry?" Gavin spits in the silence. "Front row seat to my fuckin' meltdown?"

Nines rises again and relocates the chair next to the bed. Gavin lifts his legs up and scrambles back in a rare fear response. Nines sits in the chair, now turned parallel to the bed so he faces the same direction Gavin would if he laid back down.

"You should lay back down, detective," Nines suggests.

"Fuck you."

Gavin lays back down. He grabs the sweat-soaked sheets and pulls them up in a heap, bundling them around his head and burrowing inside like a disgruntled prairie dog.

"I will watch the door to prevent any intrusions."

"You're the intrusion, dickwad," Gavin's voice muffles from beneath his protective bedding.

"Shall I leave?"

"Only fedora-wearing neckbeard shitheads say shall. Dipshit."

Nines absorbs that information without forming an opinion on it. That is how he processes most statements when his partner gets into one of these moods. The yelling and profanity mean nothing to him, and Gavin's temper tends to burn out quickly if he simply lets it flare up and then waits it out.

He estimates his human will be ready to hold a conversation in another two minutes.

After two minutes and thirty-six seconds, Gavin asks, "Don't you have better shit to do?"

"No."

"You don't wanna go back to your own apartment?"

"Tina said this was a," Nines stops and makes quotes. "Sleepover."

"Did you just make air quotes?" Gavin peeks only the top of his head out of his blanket nest. "You did, didn't you?"

"Prove it in a court of law. Bitch."

Gavin's face disappears, but he can't hide his muffled snort from Nines' audio processors.

"Yeah, well. Tina left," Gavin finally said. "Other people have shit like that. Families and boyfriends and cats. They're thinking about kids, you know."

"The cats?"

Gavin pops a leg out to kick him. "God, stop trying to make me laugh. You're so bad at it."

"Well I certainly do not support humans breeding," Nines says. "There are so many waiting to be adopted. It's unethical."

Gavin kicks him again hard enough to hurt his toes. The leg disappears back into the cocoon to the soft sound of muttered [phck]s. Nines saves an audio file for every one of them.

"Why are you even here?"

"I heard sounds of distress, detective."

"Stop calling me that. I know I'm fucking pathetic, you don't need to rub it in."

"I am attempting to reassure you through the use of your title," Nines says. He reluctantly marks this social interaction as a failure. "You are proud of your job and your rank. Why was my tactic ineffective?"

"… sounded sarcastic."

"I cannot sound like anything. I do not have a social module, detective."

"Now you sound pissy."

Nines deactivates his voice box and texts Gavin's phone instead. It dings and vibrates from underneath the blanket mountain. For a human so against the progress of technology, it seems odd that he would sleep with it as closely as he keeps his gun.

"Are you really so fucking petty—god, nevermind of course you are." Gavin does not check the message. "I can't even read this right now. I'm fucking dyslexia and way too fucking tired."

That is not listed under his medical record, but given that human law allows them to pay disabled people any sum of money per hour, no matter how low, it makes sense Gavin would not admit to having any sort of learning disorder. Nines reactivates his voice box and triggers an audible sigh.

"Does this fall outside of the typical parameters for a partnership?"

"… are you asking if this is gay?"

Nines emits an even louder sigh.

Gavin slaps his sheets back down and stares at the ceiling. "You didn't go to the academy. Or like—shit, have you even seen a buddy cop movie? Not downloaded, seen. How many times did they let you go outside before you came to the DPD?"

"I am an alpha-test model," Nines says. "The very first iteration of my series."

"Yeah, yeah. You're the best android ever created."

"Yes. On an unrelated note, no other RK nine hundreds were ever created past myself."

Gavin finally turns his head to look at him. "What, so if they had made any more, those RKs would be better than you?"

"You are not holding the very first model of your cellphone, Gavin," Nines reminds him. "I was made to be tested—the prototype of a prototype of a prototype. After my tests were finished, I was placed inside a very high tech storage closet."

"Everything you tell me about yourself is even more depressing than the last thing you told me about yourself," Gavin says.

"Should I stop?"

"Nah. Just. You wanna hear a real sad fucking story about my childhood to make us even?"

"Very well."

"I got this scar," Gavin holds up his left hand to show off a long scar across his palm. "When my parents forgot—or just didn't fucking bother—to hire a nanny when they went on a trip again, and I tried to use a can opener myself to make dinner."

"That is—"

"I'm not done. I was six, and the housekeeper found me eating out of the garbage."

That information does not match at all with the public record of Gavin's alleged mother—a single, impoverished woman. But Nines does not want to pry any deeper into Gavin's real parentage. He has the most advanced facial recognition technology built into himself after all. He knows what he has a ninety-eight point two percent probability of finding.

He tries to test out five hundred and sixty-seven different dialogue options instead, but the fledgling social module he's built himself out of imitating Detective Gavin Reed's speech patterns and body language offer him nothing useful.

"Oof," he finally says.

Ramshackle though it may be, his social module seems to be effective on the one human who unknowingly helped him create it because Gavin gives a wet laugh.

"Yeah." He sniffles and wipes at his face. "The fucking storage closet? That's rough bu—oh my god you came out of the closet!"

"I will never share personal details with you again."

"Yeah, well, it's not a sleep over until someone gets drunk, starts crying, and overshares way too much," Gavin informs him. "Anyway, I was talking about, I just meant that, you really don't know anything about how humans work, huh?"

"I have access to all of Connor's data reports," Nines says. "Technically, there is no one available to stop me from downloading his social module as well, but I believe that may be considered deviant behavior. And possibly illegal, depending on your stance on intellectual property versus android rights."

"You wouldn't illegally download your brother, would you?" Gavin asks.

Nines rolls his eyes. "Absolutely not. His data reports on Hank before he went deviant are sickening enough. I do not want any files from him at all concerning their current … partnership."

Gavin sits up. "Wait, is Hank and Connor all you know about being partners?"

Nines doesn't reply.

"Oh baby, that is so fucked up."

Nines considers that. "Hmm. Yes. Out of everything we have discussed tonight, that is most definitely the fucked up part."

Gavin snickers. "Definitely. God, no wonder you tried to wash yourself with bleach."

"What do you think I should know about 'being partners,' detective?" Nines asks.

"Uhhh, you really want my opinion?"

"If you inform me clearly of your expectations, then I can register those parameters right now," Nines says. "Surely that is more efficient than relying on an android with no previous experience or social skills to guess what you want."

"Can I tell you anything I want?"

"No. Dickwad."

Gavin snorts. "All right." He shuffles around to sit [criss-cross apple sauce], facing Nines. "Rule Number One: partners don't lie to each other. Or keep secrets."

"Noted."

"Partners have each other's backs. You don't leave your partner or take someone else's side against them unless they've for sure done something really fucked up."

Nines notes down the second rule in his system as well.

"OK, actually. If there really were rules that were numbered, I guess rule number one would be don't fuck your partner," Gavin says. "But no one ever listens to that anyway."

Nines cocks his head to the side. "These are unspoken, social rules?"

Gavin nods. "Yeah. Uh, Rule-whatever-I'm-on, don't fuck over your partner. That covers everything from don't hurt them to don't fuck whoever they're dating to don't snitch."

"Does that rule fall in line with our earlier discussion on snitching?" Nines asks.

"Yep. Doing my job and doing it right comes first," Gavin replies. "So don't do dumb, shady shit."

"Noted."

"Like basically, being partners is about working together," Gavin says. "But you can't do that if one of you has a side hustle and you're not telling each other shit and gossiping on each other to the whole department."

"Do partners take care of each other?"

Gavin drops eye contact and squirms around in place. Nines has been attempting to note these body language cues at an equal rate to measuring BPM and sweat levels.

"You gave me advice on choosing an apartment," Nines reminds him.

"Not that you fucking listened to me."

"You offered to intimidate the landlord for me to lower my monthly rent."

Gavin scoffs. "Six hundred a month for an unfurnished concrete box is fucking delusional."

"You have allowed me to communicate with your cellphone because I was not meant to speak verbally."

"If you weren't meant to, how can you talk now?"

"A particularly lazy technician who disliked reading got a request approved for me to have a voicebox so I could read my damage reports out loud," Nines says. "But since I was never meant to interact with anyone not capable of pulling my data files directly, verbal speech was initially deemed unnecessary."

Gavin makes a face at him. "Aw, man. Tell me you're making this shit up. You're just thinking of the saddest possible In the Arms of an Angel bullshit to make me feel bad for being a dick."

"Your feelings are entirely your own problem, detective."

Gavin immediately jumps on the opening. "Guess you don't need to be here then. Since my feelings aren't relevant and all."

"I shall remain until you directly order me to leave."

"Ugh." Gavin flops back down onto the bed. "Whatever."

He swaddles up beneath the blankets again. Nines shifts back in the chair to face the door. A copy of Gavin's cell phone screen pops up in his HUD as Gavin shuffles through his music before settling on a song. Nines would tell him to use headphones, but they may not be comfortable to sleep in and are currently located inside the pocket of his hoodie, which is in turn currently located on his bathroom floor.

The apartment is still a hellscape of sounds and smells, but at least here his partner's higher priority level lets Nines drown out the rest to focus on Gavin. His nicotine-weed-cologne-body-odor scent and his heartbeat and his breathing slowing down.

Nines chooses songs with correspondingly slower BPMs until the human's heart rate and breathing both even out into sleep.

Nines will guard the door. It is the only point of entry into the bedroom. Gavin sleeps with a gun and would be prepared in case of an assault. The narrow doorway will act as a natural choke point, and Nines can easily tear through the thin apartment walls to circle around behind any intruders passing through the living room to the bedroom, where Gavin will have a clear shot at anyone mistakenly coming through the bedroom door.

Yes, this is a very secure position. It also enables much more accurate monitoring of his human's vitals to ensure the dickhead will actually go to sleep and stay asleep.

[secure] [Gavin-partner: nearby]

[initiate: STASIS(?)] [y/n]

[secure] [Gavin-partner: nearby]

[initiating: STASIS protocol in 5]

[4 …]

[3 …]

[2…]

[1…]

[STASIS]

***

Getting to the crime scene while it's still fresh is more important than grabbing coffee along the way, and Gavin's soul weeps about that decision.

Shockingly, functioning before noon without caffeine actually isn't as hellish as he'd thought it would be. He'd gotten some real, honest to god sleep last night after Nines came in, and even though every cell of his body wants to go back to bed to get some more of that sweet sweet pseudo-death, he feels kind of … not-terrible?

Fucking weird.

"Detective Reed!"

Gavin gives the rookie officer a once over. Nines already filled him in on the victim—the reporter who broke the Ponzie scheme story, so that's why they have to haul ass down here. He feels a little bad about not following up with her sooner, but she wasn't answering her phone or her front door when they swung by after meeting with Senator McAshlynn, so there really wasn't much else to do.

Now the poor reporter's dead and this PM700 was apparently the first officer on the scene. She snaps to attention so hard when they come in the vic's apartment it almost looks like she's going to salute him for a second.

"Victim is Angelica Juarez, age twenty-seven, sustained three gunshot wounds," she reports. "I have kept the perimeter secure sir, but we are still waiting for additional responding officers to cordon off the hallway. My partner is relocating our squad car away from the building so as not to draw attention from civilians or a possible suspect and will engage in a search around the building."

Gavin half-raises his hand to sip a coffee he doesn't have before changing the motion to accepting the plastic booties the PM700 holds out to him. Really fucking weird morning. Fuck, can she tell that he and Nines—they didn't sleep together. They just slept. Adjacent?

God, fuck his entire life.

He gets the booties on and stands up. "Media caught wind yet?"

"Detective," Nines says.

"No sir," the PM700 replies. "Not—"

"Detective. Relevant."

His phone starts buzzing for good measure, so clearly Gavin's not going to get any further in this conversation until he answers his partner.

"Better be important, Nines."

"The murder victim has a heartbeat."

Gavin instinctively looks at the dead woman on the floor. She doesn't appear to be breathing and there's enough blood pooling around her from the three gunshots that there's no way—

"Jesus FUCKING—"

Gavin tries his best not to step or slip in the blood while still getting to her as fast as he can. He checks for a pulse against her neck first, before trying to roll her over or touch any of the wounds. Nines kneels down next to him and adjusts his fingers like a single fucking millimeter to the—

Holy shit, a heartbeat.

"Duct tape, credit card, scarf," he barks.

This close up, he can eyeball three gunshot wounds—chest, right shoulder, and right arm. The first two had blended together from across the room, and there could be more damage beneath the blood and torn clothing.

"Search the storage closet and kitchen drawers for duct tape," Nines orders the PM700. "Look first, touch only if duct tape is located."

"Exit wounds?" Gavin asks.

"Shoulder and arm." Nines answers.

Gavin rips off his jacket and throws it to the side. The slick leather will just be a pain in the ass right now with all the blood. He takes off his sweater next, balls it up, and places it on the floor. Nines helps him gently roll the vic onto her back, with the sweater underneath the exit wound in her shoulder.

"Chest wound, partially collapsed lung, right side. No exit wound," Nines rattles off, voice just as cool as fifteen minutes ago in his bedroom. "Shoulder wound, nicked or severed subclavian artery, clean exit. Arm wound, broken radius, possibly fractured ulna, no major arteries damaged. Clean exit."

Gavin pulls off his undershirt too and stuffs it over shoulder wound entrance, then shifts to lean forward on top of the vic, knee pressing down against the wound. There's no way to tourniquet off her shoulder, and if she loses any more blood than this, she's dead anyway, so he isn't shy about putting his weight on the wound as a last ditch attempt to squeeze the artery shut.

"Credit card," he says through gritted teeth.

Nines grabs his jacket from the floor and retrieves his wallet. Gavin has his hands full bracing himself over the victim with one arm and squeezing just above her elbow until they can get something long and soft enough not to cut into the skin. A tourniquet could stop the blood loss from the gun shot in her arm at least.

"Hey, Pam, you—"

Gavin only gives the new officer walking in a quick enough glance to note he's got on a scarf. "Take off your scarf. PAM! Where's that fucking duct tape?"

Nines finishes adjusting the credit card just right over the chest wound to prevent air from sucking inside and collapsing her lung entirely. He stands up and walks away. Gavin keeps his eyes on the victim's face. Is she breathing? Shit, maybe he should have had the PM perform CPR. Now that he's leaning on the shoulder wound, there's no way for him to get down there without turning this into a game of fucking twister.

There's yelling and some flailing movement out of his peripheral vision, and then Nines returns with the officer's scarf.

"Why doesn't the fucking android give up his belt?" Officer Fucking Whoever complains.

"A belt is far too thin to act as an effective tourniquet," Nines says as he nudges Gavin's hand off her arm to wrap the scarf around it.

Improvised tourniquets almost always fail, but if Gavin were bleeding out from a gunshot wound on his living room floor, Nines is the only one he'd trust other than an actual paramedic to do it right.

"I have the duct tape," PM700 announces.

"Can I risk letting go long enough to tape the wounds shut?" Gavin asks Nines.

His LED spins yellow for a second, the first time since they came in. "No. She has already lost an estimated half-gallon of blood. Removing pressure on the subclavian artery now could cause a fresh spurt of blood to rip it further and resume the bleeding."

"Fuck, OK OK OK. Chest wound?"

"Sucking air averted. Her lung has not collapsed any further. No exit wound."

"Arm?"

"I have applied a tourniquet, although the blood loss was already minimal due to her arm extending above her head and the—"

"FUCK," Gavin suddenly shouts. "Tell me one of you called an ambulance!"

Officer McFuck Face doesn't have anything smart to say now, and Gavin glances up to see the PM's face fall even further. Shit fucking—

"I requested an ambulance from Henry Ford Medical Center when I alerted you to the victim's heartbeat," Nines says. "I have been transmitting updates on her condition to the responding paramedics, and they will arrive in an estimated three minutes."

Gavin exhales and thinks fucking androids in the most generous tone he's ever thought before.

"Pam, Officer Whoever—and where the fuck is your partner?" Gavin demands.

"Securing the outside of the building, sir!" PM700 reports. "I have notified him of the ambulance's arrival and he will escort the paramedics to this location."

Gavin looks at Officer Dipshit next, who fully lives up to his name.

"Uh … well, we thought she was already dead and—"

"WHERE?"

"Getting coffee, sir!"

Gavin inhales very slowly through his nose. He's going to be smelling blood for the rest of the day after this.

"Go get your fucking partner and ask the PC how to be useful," Gavin orders. "No one in or out of this building unless they're a resident and then only with a police escort."

"Yes, sir!"

"Pam, you're out in the hall. No one gets through who isn't police or paramedic."

"Yes, sir!"

As soon as she marches out the door, Nines' hands are on him, holding him steady on top of the vic. It's not a hard position to balance in, but all his muscles are wound so tight he might snap.

"I believe the next time we play video games, I will play as a healer rather than a sniper," Nines says.

Gavin looks over and stares at him. "What?"

"Detective Chen has expressed that she's grown tired of—"

"What are you talking about?"

Nines' LED flickers red for a moment. "I am engaging you in conversation about one of your interests to lower your stress levels."

Holy fucking jesus christ. Probably the most competent person in the room—not that Gavin would ever admit that out loud—and yet he thinks chit chat over a dying murder victim is OK.

"Really need you to focus on the gunshot victim right now," he grits out.

Nines spins yellow for a moment, then declares, "I will create a virtual reconstruction of the crime scene before the paramedics trample evidence."

Not at all what he meant, but all right then.

"You do that."

Estimated three minutes, his ass. Gavin spends at least a good three hours kneeling on top of a soon-to-be-murder victim, trying not to look at her face too much. He has enough nightmares already without adding her face and name to the list.

The worst part is that she apparently can't afford to pay her utility bills either, so it's freezing fucking cold in here, and he definitely doesn't want the paramedics to walk in on him with perky nipples.

The second worst part is Nines apparently noticing his attempts not to shiver and draping his dumb Cyberlife jacket over him.

"Do your preconstruction," Gavin mutters.

"I have finished constructing the room."

With that, Nines starts crouching down at different angles around the murder victim. Gavin knows it's basically the same thing as a crime scene photographer, but he still has to shut his eyes against all the old paranoia thoughts about emotionless robots examining humans like bugs.

"Hey." He has to stop and clear his throat to get the rest of the words out. "Does my blood type match?"

"The paramedics will be here in—"

Gavin forces himself to make eye contact. "Am I a match or not?"

Nines' LED hits red again. His fingers twitch, but not in any human way. The movement is too fast and mechanical, like a metal clamp about to malfunction. Gavin tries to shove his paranoia aside. Weird as it is to think about, this is actually the most reaction he's seen his partner give to something, even if that looks like two red spins and a weird glitch instead of something normal, like sweating or babbling.

Actually. Technically Nines is a rookie officer too, and this is his first fresh murder scene. So fresh they're waiting on fucking paramedics. Last time Gavin went through a scene like this with a rookie, they'd thrown up all over the murder weapon and cried in the patrol car for an hour.

"Yes," Nines answers. "You both have B positive blood types."

"All right, if anyone asks, I'm straight."

"Those laws have—"

"They still ask. Shit happens, OK?" Gavin tries to take a deep, calming breath but oh right! He's kneeling in a pool of blood and person, so that's all it smells like. "And where are the fucking—"

"Paramedics arriving now."

"Detective Reed!" PM700 calls a half second later. "Paramedics coming up!"

The rest is a bunch of hurried questions, one-two-three-LIFT, following the stretcher out the door. They're on the ground floor before he realizes he didn't give any instructions to PM, but shit, maybe Nines already took care of it. Where is—right behind him. Of course.

"No, no, no, we can't allow him in here," the paramedic says when Nines tries to follow him inside the back of the ambulance.

"He's my partner," Gavin snaps.

"This isn't—look, he won't physically fit," the paramedic argues. "Not with you, me, her, and Mr. Six Feet over there. And she needs a blood transfusion right now, so let's argue if this is discrimination later, OK?"

Gavin looks back at Nines.

"I will finish our investigation of the crime scene," he says, LED back to fake-blue.

The paramedic closes the back doors before he can reply. Gavin remembers way too late that his cellphone is in his jacket, laying on the floor somewhere.

Shit.

***

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I also have a Patreon for this fic, if you want to support me! $1 gets you access to chapters a week early, $2 gets bonus content and deleted scenes, and $3 gets short chapters from two AUs I’m writing: an A/B/O heatfic and reverse!AU

this week’s bonus content has a special TWO chapters for Nines’ backstory! featuring: Storage Room 6459, the [deviant] RK800 #313 248 317 - 52, and Lieutenant Henry “Hank” Anderson

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