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81scorp · 1 month

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Constructive criticism: Raya and Wish (2023)

Ah yes, Raya and the last Dragon and Wish... and a bonus

Raya and the last Dragon

Taking place in the fictional country of Kumandra, based on Southeast Asian culture, the movie follows the warrior princess Raya as she seek the fabled last dragon to save her father and the land of Kumandra from evil spirits that are known as Druun.

Critics gave the film positive reviews; some critics praised the imagery and depth but criticized the limited Southeast Asian representation.

The movie is very good on a technical level, Visually impressive, fun characters and the story is good... until the third act.

It`s message doesn`t really fit into it`s narrative. It tries to fit a square shaped peg into a round hole.

If I could wish upon a star that I could travel back in time and do some changes to the script I would like to make one small change.

Namaari giving her "This is just as much your fault" speech and Raya acting as if she`s right

The biggest downside in this scene is Raya`s reaction to what Namaari says, looking at her own reflection in her sword as if to say: "My god, what have I become?"

How I would do it: Raya and Namaari fight. Raya gets the upperhand, disarms Namaari and is about to strike the final blow... but then she looks at what`s happening around them, the city is falling apart, killing Namaari is not gonna solve this. She drops her sword.

Raya: "My original plan was to steal the gem. It was Sisu who convinced me to talk to you. She believed in you. And for a moment... so did I."

Then she leaves to save what still can be saved of the people of Fang.

Namaari looks at her own reflection in one of her twin swords and has a "My god, what have I become?" moment.

I guess I could stop here, but I want to change one more scene.

Raya giving her gem piece to Namaari

In the scene where they are all in the pit trying to fight the druuns with their gem pieces and Raya realizes that they have to put the pieces together, it would be better if Namaari gave her piece to Raya before she gives her piece to Namaari.

Namaari would then step backwards and let the Druun take her. The others would then give their pieces to Raya, stand next to Namaari and be turned to stone. Raya tries to put the gem back together, nothing happens, she places herself between Namaari and the others (Tong, Boun, Little Noi and the Ongis), puts a hand on Tong`s arm and a hand on Namaari`s shoulder as if to form a bridge between the two. (Symbolism!)

Then the dragongem starts working, everyone gets unstoned, the dragons return, Kumandra is united and everyone`s happy.

The end.

Yes, I know. Raya needed to learn how to trust, but Namaari needed to show that she could be trusted.

Wish (2023)

Disney (the company that owns your childhood) was turning 100 years old and decided to give itself a big pat on the back by making an animated movie that would celebrate it`s legacy.

The film received mixed reviews, with praise directed towards the vocal performances, the animation and references to the wider Disney canon, but criticism levelled at the plotting, songs, and screenplay.

People were disappointed in Wish because it was supposed to be a milestone, the movie made to celebrate that the Disney animation studio has been around for 100 years! It just couldn`t live up to the hype. But if you take all the hype and great expectations out of the equation and just view it, not as this BIG thing it was intended to be, but just, as the movie it is, it`s... just OK.

Later when the art book of the movie came out and people saw what could have been, many youtubers decided to do what I have been doing since 2015, and do a little constructive criticism of their own. With so many rewrites of Wish popping up on the internet and my history of playing script doctor, it only seems logical that I too throw my hat in the ring and submit my own Wish rewrite.

So... if I had a fairy godmother who could Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo me back in time to when this movie was written, this is what I would change.

People willingly giving their wishes to Magnifico

It would have been better if Magnifico took peoples wishes from them without their knowledge. It would have made him a better villain. He could take peoples wishes when they are asleep.

Asha

I`d dial down her quirkiness a little. Personalitywise she could be an ambitious overachiever, kinda like Hermoine, with an adorkable side.

Valentino

Does everything he says have to be something comical? I like jokes but not all of them landed. It was like his funniness was mandated. Dial down the number of jokes.

Some of the songs

It`s not that the songs are bad per se, some of them just don`t fit into the scenes where they are used, like "At all cost".

They should either have :

A: Given Julia Michaels more time and let her be more involved in the production. (Howard Ashman was very involved in the making of The Little Mermaid.)

B: Hired people experienced in musicals. Maybe the people who wrote the songs for Wicked, Hadestown or Hazbin Hotel?

Magnifico needing a book to be evil

The biggest problem this movie has is that it couldn`t decide if Magnifico should be a redeemable, three dimensional antagonist or a classic Disney Villain, so it did both and the results were underwhelming.

I would have made him a twist villain, but instead of waiting for the third act I would reveal it near the end of the first. He would be a charismatic leader, great at fooling people that he has their best interests at heart, who`s paranoia gets the better of him.

To Starboy or not to Starboy, that is the question.

At first I wasn`t gonna bother with the whole Starboy thing since it`s not really an issue. The movie`s biggest problem lies in how they wrote King Magnifico. However, a while ago I saw a video on youtube by ColeyDoesThings who talked about what the movie could have been if they had gone the Starboy route, and she made some compelling arguments. So for this rewrite I`ve decided to go with the Starboy idea.

Starboy`s personality could be a lot like Aladdin, a little bit like Peter Pan with a pinch of Flynn Rider. A bit of a contrast to Asha. I did not change change Star becase I thought it was necessary, but because I thought it sounded interesting.

I would also make Hal and Bazeema gay and have them kiss eachother in the end.

Plot

Asha prepares to interview for the job of Magnifico's apprentice on the day of her grandfather Sabino's 100th birthday.

When Asha is around, her mother and Saba put on a happy face for her, when she leaves they become a bit apathetic. This is something that many people in Rosas over the age of 18 (who have had their wishes taken) do.

She leads tourists through the town as she sings about what an amazing place it is and what an awesome king they have in "Welcome to Rosas". She rehearses for her job interview with her friends,

There are three wishes that the king refuses to grant:

Wishes about killing people.

Wishes about making someone fall in in love with someone else.

Wishes about bringing people back from the dead.

If you wish to become a magician you`ll have to become the king`s apprentice (and you don`t have to be 18.)

Queen Amaya shows up and takes her to Magnifico. At first it goes a little shaky because she`s nervous but then it goes well and Magnifico thinks she is worthy to be his apprentice.

They sing a duet, but not "At all cost". It is a song about optimism and ambition, about what a great student/mentor team they`ll make. The chorus could go:

Magnifico: "With you as my student!"

Asha: "With you as my guide!"

Both: "Great things will happen with you by my side!"

Something like that.

The interview is over and Asha leaves Magnifico`s study.

She is excited. She gets to work with the king! The most awesome king in the world! She does a dorky little victory dance. Valentino shows up, he snuck into the castle with her. Asha starts chasing him, she doesn`t want him to break something expensive, she really wants this job!

Valentino sneaks in through a door to a big (and probably forbidden) room and knocks down an ancient scroll. Asha picks up the scroll to put it back where it was, then she notices the title: How to remove someone`s wish.

Remove? The king grants wishes, he doesn`t take them!

She tries to convince herself not to read it, it`s not meant for her eyes, it`s classified, but her curiosity gets the better of her. She reads in the scroll that the spell should not be used on people under the age of 18. The individual who has had their wish removed becomes docile and free of aspirations, and in some rare cases, even lethargic (just like Simon). They will feel like something is missing from their life but are not able to put their finger on what.

She refuses to believe this. This can`t be true! Magnifico wouldn`t do something like this! He`s a good king!... Right? There are magical orbs of light floating in the ceiling, she takes a ladder and climbs up so that she can get a better look at them. One of the orbs shows a woman that wishes she could fly, another a woman who wishes to sail the seas, another a man who wishes to climb a muntain, and one of the orbs shows... her Saba! It is true, the king takes peoples wishes from them!

She climbs down, puts the scroll back and leaves the room quietly with Valentino under her arm.

She`s about to leave the castle through the main gate when Magnifico shows up. He tells her that there will be a wish-granting ceremony later that evening and he wants her to be present. Asha is nervous, but not a "OMG! I`m meeting my hero!" kind of nervous, but a "Hope he doesn`t figure out that I went into a forbidden room and saw things I shouldn`t have seen" kind of nervous. He seems not to notice, but at soon as Asha leaves the room we see that he did.

Later that evening there`s a wish-granting ceremony, a woman gets her wish granted, the people cheer for Magnifico and Asha sits there next to the queen, stiff and nervous.

Later that night: Asha tries to tell her family the truth about Magnifico, but they don`t believe her. Distraught, Asha runs away and makes her own wish on a star as she sings "This wish". (Not a bad song, but it could have used better lyrics in some places.)

Starboy appears and surprises Asha who smacks him with a branch. (Meet-cute!)

Magnifico senses Starboy's arrival and sees it as a threat to his power.

Starboy doesn`t really grant wishes per se. He`s only as helpful as giving the means, but it’s up to the wishmaker to put the work in order to have their wish fulfilled.

Starboy's magic brings the forest to life, giving voices to the animals, plants and Valentino. They sing "I`m a star", but with better lyrics. (No "we're all shareholders" or "Get that through your system. Solar!") Asha, Valentino, and Starboy embark on a mission to recover Sabino's wish. She wants to save all the wishes, but if she can only save one she`ll have to focus on Sabino`s.

Tension rises in Rosas, Magnifico makes a public appearence and promises a great reward for any information relating to the strange light phenomenon. This makes Simon react. The residents of Rosas begin questioning his rule for the first time. Magnifico gets uncomfortable, leaves and sings "This is the thanks I get" (But sinister, not upbeat, and no "I let you live here fo free and I don't even charge you rent").

Asha returns Sabino's wish and he is overjoyed to have his memories back and sings "A wish worth making", playing his lute. King Magnifico bursts into the family's home, having been informed by a mole that Asha was responsible for Starboy's arrival. He crushes her mother Sakina's wish as punishment, rendering her overcome with grief. Starboy tries to defend her and is spotted by Magnifico, who vows to capture him. Asha and her family flee with Starboy. Sakina can barely stand after what Magnifico did to her wish, so Starboy uses his magic to give her the strength to walk. Sabino and Sakima hide somewhere safe while Asha goes back to Rosas to free the other wishes.

Magnifico turns Simon into a knight, not in a public wish-granting ceremony though, but in his study.

Later, a brainwashed Simon is walking the streets with the company of other knights, searching for Asha and the rest of her friends. Asha sees him and looks for a place to hide. She finds her friends` hideout, not because of Valentino`s butt, but because of his sense of smell. She rallies the rest of her friends, Queen Amaya shows up and joins them.

Asha and her friends start making a plan.

Meanwhile: King Magnifico has made a staff, Amaya shows up and tells him what Asha and her friends are planning.

Gasp! Queen Amaya is a villain! (Dun dun dunn!)

She and Magnifico sing an evil duet villain song which is kinda similar to "With you by my side".

Asha`s friends infiltrate Magnifico's study to open up the ceiling and free the wishes while Asha plans to distract Magnifico. She and Starboy hides in the woods, she is nervous, Starboy tries to comfort her, so they talk a little. The talking leads to feelings being revealed which leads to singing. They sing "At all costs" and dance a romantic dance, first on the surface of a lake, then high up in the sky. (Thanks to Starboy`s magic.) Starboy gives Asha a magic wand to use as he leaves to help her friends, he then notices that he is getting weaker. Magnifico arrives, he and Asha fights. Magnifico turns out to be Simon disguised with an illusion and he breaks Asha`s wand, Asha finds a way to knock him out using the environment to her advantage.

Her friends almost free the wishes but are betrayed by Queen Amaya. Starboy tries to stop her but she pulls out a dagger and threatens to kill one of Asha`s friends, Magnifico shows up and zaps him with magical chains that he can`t break free from.

Asha returns to the city, is caught by Magnifico, finds Starboy in magical chains and finds out that Queen Amaya was just a mole. Magnifico darkens the sky with clouds so that the people won`t be able to wish on stars.

Asha (to Magnifico): "I believed in you! I thought you were a good king!"

Magnifico: "I`m not a good king. I`m a GREAT king!"

All hope seems lost, Asha starts to sing the reprise to "This wish", her friends and the people of Rosas join her and their singing makes Starboy strong enough to break free from his chains. The breaking of the chains creates a shockwave that knocks Asha, Amaya and Magnifico off the tower. Starboy, still weakened, only has enough strength to save one of them, so he saves Asha.

With Magnifico defeated, his spell powers down as a new day dawns over the kingdom, with the citizens, Asha's mother included, are able to get their wishes back, afterwards, Asha is soon confronted by a regretful Simon, who understands if she doesn`t want to forgive him, but she does as she understands why he did it.

Starboy keeps getting weaker and has to go back, he gives Asha a new wand and the two of them say good bye. She wonders if she`ll ever see him again, he tells her that he`ll be the second star to the right.

With urging from her loved friends, Asha promises to help others earn their wishes as a Fairy Godmother, aiding everyone in making their dreams come true.

Post-credit scene: One year later: Asha is walking to the wishing tree in her fairy godmother outfit. She walks past a grave stone. Sabino is sitting in the tree playing "When you wish upon a star" on his lute. A tear rolls down Asha`s cheek. After Sabino has played the song he disappears as if he was a ghost. We see that the grave stone that Asha walked past earlier was Sabino`s. She wipes away her tear, looks up at the second star to the right, takes out her wand and teleports to some place where she might be needed.

And that`s how I would do it. Not great but hopefully not bad.

I cut "Knowing what I know now" because it was getting a little tight between songs. It would be hard to fit that song, Magnifico and Amaya`s villain song and "At all costs" so close to each other, while still maintaining a good narrative flow.

At first I wasn`t gonna turn Queen Amaya evil because I couldn`t come up with enough evil stuff for her to do (that I could fit into the plot without making it worse). But then I made her a villain because it would make things harder for Asha and her friends, which would make the movie more interesting.

But like I said before, the movie`s biggest problem is not that the Queen wasn`t evil, but that the writers couldn`t pick a lane when deciding if they wanted to make Magnifico a three-dimensional antagonist or a classic Disney Villain.

And now... a Bonus

One more thing about Frozen 2

Turning Kristoff`s Lost in the woods into a cheesy 1980s rock ballad musicvideo

I was gonna have this in my Frozen 2 CC but forgot and didn`t remember until after I published it. Since I don`t wanna go back and edit it I`ll write it here.

This scene is admittedly entertaining and if you don`t care about tone as long as it`s entertaining it`s fine.

But funny songs works better for funny characters and what Kristoff is singing about feels sincere, which clashes with how the song is executed.

The 1980s rock sound: Lose it.

The visuals: Have Kristoff walking around in the woods, seeing things that, to him, looks like Anna: a pile of rocks, a pile of leaves, a cloud in the sky. Stuff like that.

Probably an unpopular opinion.

It is of course very easy for me to write these because I have the luxury of hindsight. And unlike the filmmakers I didn`t have a movie studio full of corporate suits breathing down my neck, focus grouping the movie to death, forcing in unnecessary changes and pressuring me to get it made before a deadline.

Why do I write these?

For several reasons. I`m nitpicky. Sometimes the movies I criticize aren`t bad, I just like my own ideas better. Sometimes the movies I critize are bad. I care about good storytelling and it`s a fun excerize in creativity and script doctoring.

But also because I have a lot of of free time.

---------------------------------------------

Other movies on my Constructive Criticism list that you can look forward to

Supergirl (1984) Jonah Hex (2010) Dragonball evolution The Spirit (2008) The Dark Knight trilogy

And as usual: English is not my first language, so if my writing doesn`t seem to flow naturally, you know why.

#editorial #constructive criticism #written stuff #disney #raya and the last dragon #disney wish #wish rewrite #wish reimagined #81scorp

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veryextraincorrectfegbaquotes · 4 months

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As promised, here is an in-depth brief overview of the circumstances surrounding Melady becoming Lalum's legal guardian

Got it out technically before the year end, and it goes under a read more so I don't fill your dash with a whole lotta words (1240 words to be precise) because I have some sense of courtesy. Hope you enjoy it!

It had, at least initially, been purely a matter of logistics. A child required housing, of those with space and time available, one said the other was the much better option. Echidna made very clear that her house full of weapons was not suitable for a kid, so said kid became Melady’s problem. The situation was even more awkward than is typical, due to its atypical circumstances. The child in question was, in one way or another, related to Sigune. So of course, information about her was impossible to find or never existed. They knew her name was Lalum, that her parents were dead, and that she was related to Sigune. They couldn’t even be certain she was a child. They were considering her as one, and Sigune said she was ‘underage’.

And Sigune never lies.

The child was both inoffensive and offensive. She took up little space, made little noise, occupied little time. She kept to the basement that had been made her room, emerged to eat, barely spoke and when she did it was quietly. Except when she started fires. And broke windows. And made graffiti. And started more fires. And ruined things. And threw knives. Every time, Melady would either reign her in mid-crime or haul her back home post-crime. Every time, Melady would ask the child why she had done this, and be told she didn’t know why, and she was sorry, and she wouldn’t do it again. Every time, she sounded honest, regretful, sad and scared and weak. Every time, she would do it again. What frustrated Melady wasn’t the behavior in and of itself, it was how inexplicable it was, how it came from nothing and vanished before it could be seen. Melady was told that the child was loud, insulting, dismissive, chaotic and insufferable. She only saw a quiet, fragile, empty person. A child seemingly too afraid of the consequences to ever make a noise or express a want.

It bothered Melady, that the child she was in charge of, that she cared for, was lying to her. Not by saying she wouldn’t do this again, but by trying to hide whatever part of her it was that longed for chaos and relished in humor derived from starting fires and annoying people. That hiding, that refusal to show the wholeness of herself, was a lie, as offensive as any. And it wasn’t one she could make the child stop telling. She couldn’t force her to expose that side of her. Her only option was to make the child willing to be honest with herself and with Melady. She had to make herself into someone who could accept that honesty. And she set herself to that goal.

It was not an easy thing to do, offering acceptance to someone who offers nothing to accept. She did all in her power to be kind and understanding every time she had to question the child after one of her outbursts, despite Melady’s longstanding opinions on the value of militarily instilled discipline. But she valued honesty more. She mentally noted every bit of information about the child she could get from their brief conversations during meals, and followed those scant leads as best she could. Regardless of if it involved watching over 200 episodes of Dragon Ball Z or playing through Earthbound.

It was a delicate thing though. She couldn’t treat this like she was pursuing a quarry. She was researching an artwork, reading information about the artist to derive more from the work. She couldn’t just open conversation at dinner with “I watched DBZ so I could know you better”, that was an incredibly bizarre thing to do. She mirrored the child, making the occasional remark regarding the works.

She could see the results, as the remarks became more frequent, blossomed into brief discussions. She saw life and energy in the child that she never saw elsewhere, passion and opinions and humanity. It was often fleeting, something the child reigned in. But it was there, she was drawing it out. It took over a year for the approach to truly work, for it to create a real relationship that was not purely a matter of logistics. Melady saw that it took great effort, great courage on the part of the child to make her move, to acknowledge the bridge Melady had been building between them. To be honest with herself and her guardian.

“I’m going to play Radiant Silvergun. You can come watch if you want.”, said quickly, dismissively, by someone who left before she could receive the no she expected. Melady waited a minute before walking down to the basement. The child was visibly surprised, having already accepted that connection with her wasn’t wanted.

“So, tell me about Radiant Silvergun.” stated simply. It made the child pause, stunned. Then, for a brief moment, Lalum showed an incredibly earnest, honest smile. It was then quickly replaced by an expression of dismissive confidence.

“So it’s an old shmup that’s mad weird in a fascinating way. The gameplay kicks ass of course, but what really keeps me coming back is the way the story works. The stages are numbered chronologically but not played chronologically, so you start on stage 3 and then go to 2, then 4. It rules. Then there’s the story itself, which was sort of added in the saturn port, since the game didn’t have cutscenes in the original arcade version. So a bunch of kids took home a copy of their favourite shmup and then like 3 minutes after booting it up on their saturn they’re told all life on earth got killed by a tetrahedron.”

Lalum continued rambling, going on about weapon types and The Stone-Like and BE ATTITUDE FOR GAINS. It was, at best, mildly interesting to a layperson, which Melady was. But the happiness and confidence expressed by someone she’d barely heard speak, let alone emote, was truly engaging. It had been worth the effort, she decided. It was worth further effort, she decided. She asked about what scenarios the ‘thunder beam’ was useful in just to hear Lalum keep speaking.

After that event, Lalum became significantly worse as far as most were concerned. She had been quiet before now, but suddenly she was overconfident, more annoying and her crimes increased in severity. As far as Melady was concerned, Lalum was finally alive and it was as beautiful as it was infuriating. Disagreements between child and legal guardian increased in frequency, but now it wasn’t a series of questions answered with quiet platitudes. Lalum would push back, would explain what vague whims and arbitrary standards drove her to act, and would make a very obviously false apology. This was a marked improvement in Melady’s eyes.

As far as Lalum was concerned, this adult that had been forced to take care of her had met her emotionless, people-pleasing facade head on, and as such now had to deal with the ‘real’ Lalum. If pressed, she’d admit Melady could be fun to talk to and the way she expressed actual interest in whatever weird garbage Lalum rambled about made her feel weird and vulnerable and something better than tolerated. But she figured Melady would crack eventually and get sick of her, like everyone else did. It was just taking a REALLY long time. Hopefully it’d take forever and things could stay like this, just don’t quote her on that because it sounds lame.

#Melady #Lalum #Written stuff

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galaxyseclipse · 29 days

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yay! fluff!

and angst, but more importantly: fluff

#now to get those drawing prompts done #written stuff #splatoon #splatoon 3 #side order #ivory(agent 8)#tsunami(captain 3)#agent 24 #pearlina #agent 3 #agent 8 #captain 3 #i hope i wrote Pearl and Marina well

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echo-does-art · 1 year

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While traveling a few months ago I started thinking about parallels between Danny using the ghost catcher and Elktaur from Centaurworld and came up with a new AU

NowhereKing!Danny AU

Details:

Standard DP origin story (activates portal, becomes halfa, fights ghosts, ghosts considered both evil and non-sentient by his parents)

Meets Val, still wants to date her despite her wanting him dead as Phantom

Danny and Val grow closer, they start dating

Danny's self hatred starts to grow, blames his ghost half for making him something Val would hate if she knew, plans to find a way to get rid of it

Finds the ghost catcher in the lab, uses it, but instead of getting rid of Phantom both Fenton and Phantom still have all of Danny's memories

Phantom feels betrayed by Fenton, who demands Phantom leave and then goes on to date Val without his other half

Fenton becomes a ghost hunter with his parents and Val, part out of self-hatred towards Phantom, part out of his continued sense of responsibility to stop all the ghosts from coming through

Phantom shows up to confront him and tries to convince Fenton that they should merge back together, Fenton refuses and shoots Phantom

The two are still linked, so it hurts both of them

Realizing he can't hurt Phantom or leave him to get hurt by someone else, Fenton traps him in a thermos and keeps it hidden

Years later Val discovers the thermos and opens it, is shocked Danny kept the capture of her mortal enemy secret from her for so long

Seems off, begins to suspect there's more going on than it appears

Lets Phantom go, tells him to escape through the FentonWorks Portal

Fenton finds out Phantom is free and pursues him, Val chases after him for answers

Phantom, Red Huntress, and three Fentons (everyone but Jazz) all end up in one basement with an active portal

Phantom shot, tries to flee through portal

Jack shoots at him, misses but hits portal instead and it explodes

Phantom trapped halfway through portal, in void between Ghost Zone and Human Realm

Time is different in void, ages pass as injured and alone phantom warps and adapts to survival in abstract space

For extra plot, Val gets sucked through portal by explosion, gets character growth in the Ghost Zone

Where are Sam, Tucker, and Jazz? What will they do when they find out what happened to Phantom? What about Dani or Vlad?

If Fenton/Phantom link works differently then Phantom could go through Nowhere-King-creating Trauma at the hands of the GIW

Or Fenton could turn him over to Vlad with the safety net of blackmail to make sure any experiments wouldn't come back to hurt him, in which case cloning, fusing/splitting people/ghosts, etc. are possible to go with The Nowhere King's minotaurs

This stuff could lead to a scenario that matches the Nowhere King better in that people wouldn't want to open the portal and risk letting him out

#NowhereKing!Danny #first time drawing an eldritch monstrosity :)#danny phantom #dp #centaurworld #danny fenton #valerie gray #the nowhere king #elktaur #gray ghost #I originally wasn't planning on including any ships but it worked with the Nowhere King backstory #written stuff #writing prompt #au #au notes #my art #digital art #echo's AU's #someone please do something with this I'd love to see it

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paldean-ranger-brandy · 9 months

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DVD

Send me a 📀 for a recent(ish) memory from my muse.

“No, listen. She’s not a puppy anymore. Well she is, but she’s too old to scruff now. You can’t just drag her around by the neck.” Brandy was walking along the path up to the Paldean league headquarters. Beside her, jaw locked onto a short tree branch Brandy was holding in her hand, was her partner pokemon, Michael. The mightyena gave an angry snarl, somewhat muffled by the branch in his mouth but still loud enough to startle away the nearby tandemaus couples. “No, Michael, you’re not listening-“

“Oh.” A voice came from slightly ahead of Brandy and Michael. Brandy looked up to see who the voice belonged to, and immediately felt her stomach drop. “You must be Brandy. How nice to finally meet you in person.”

It was Geeta.

Chairwoman Geeta.

La Primera.

The person who decided how much funding her job would get.

“I am chairwoman Geeta.” Geeta gestured to herself, closing the distance between the two of them in a few controlled steps. Brandy blinked, and tried her damnedest to look less like a deerling in headlights. Geeta held out her hand, which Brandy stared at for just a beat too long. Thankfully, Michael chose that moment to snarl and shake his head, yanking the tree branch out of the hand that Brandy was supposed to be using to shake Geeta's.

“N-nice to meet you,” she said, snapping out of her shock enough to grab Geeta’s hand. Brandy furrowed her brow, trying to scrape together enough brainpower to figure out how to shake hands properly. Handshaking wasn’t something she grew up with, or ever had to do in throughout her career. She was pretty sure there was a correct grip strength, but what that strength was eluded her. She was also quite certain that she should have brushed the debris from the branch she had been holding off of her hand before grabbing La Primera’s pristine, gloved hand but. She hadn’t.

“I’ve heard so much about you.” Geeta continued, releasing Brandy’s hand and forcing them to realize that they had not been making any eye contact whatsoever for the duration of their introduction. They snapped their eyes up to meet Geeta’s, and then immediately regretted it. Manual eye contact was hard. “What brings you to the Pokemon League today?”

“Oh uh. I- uh, I actually have a meeting to discuss…” Brandy trailed off, gesturing vaguely at the crater wall beside them to demonstrate her point.

“Hm, yes of course. Well, I do appreciate all of the work you’ve been putting in to help us sort that out. It’s very fortunate that the Pokemon League was able to forge such a strong partnership with the Ranger Union.”

This last sentence from Geeta distracted Brandy from her nervousness just long enough for one, single, derisive snort to escape out of their nose. The polite smile immediately disappeared from Geeta’s face, replaced by an expression of surprised confusion. Brandy, realizing their mistake, suddenly seemed very interested in a pair of nearby tandemaus.

“Did you just snort?” Geeta asked.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you most certainly did.”

“I- well, I didn’t mean-”

“Do you think the league is not pulling their weight in this crisis?”

“No, that’s not - it doesn’t matter.”

“I disagree. If there is something that is causing you to hold a negative view of the Paldean League, I would very much like to hear about it.”

Brandy huffed, frustrated with herself. She wished she was better at monitoring her tone. This was exactly why she had been dreading this meeting. “Okay, fine. I-” She paused, taking a moment to try and think of the best way to word her thoughts in a way that wouldn’t harm the union’s relationship with the league. “I think it can be…difficult to view the league as a partner when most of my time is spent cleaning up the issues that are caused by having a pokemon league here in the first place.”

Geeta blinked once, and then tilted her head ever-so-slightly. “Elaborate on that.”

‘I’d really rather not.’ Brandy thought, but plowed on as requested. “I mean, when there isn’t a bunch of paradox pokemon rampaging around the region, most of our time is spent rehabbing and moving abandoned pokemon back into their habitats, chasing trainers away from battling on protected or delicate ecosystems, trying desperately to locate shelters that have the capacity to take in the frankly insane amount of pokemon that are bred and then released into the wild as babies, or enforcing catching restrictions on certain breeds of pokemon that have suddenly become popular." She counted each item on her finger, and then made the mistake of looking away from the tandemaus and back to Geeta. The chairwoman's expression showed little more than restrained concern, but it was enough to make Brandy's hand ball into a nervous fist regardless. "It’s not the league’s fault, exactly, but if you wave a shiny title in front of people’s faces, it’s only a matter of time before at least some of them start blatantly disregarding their duty of care to the world around them in pursuit of that title.”

Geeta was silent, apparently taking a moment to reflect on this stance. “Regions without leagues have a whole host of other issues, from my understanding,” she said, in a tone that did not denote any anger or hurt feeling. It seemed to be nothing more than her simply processing the implications of Brandy’s opinion.

“Yeah, I know. Leagues offer a huge boost in political and economic power, and regions without them definitely suffer from their absence." Brandy ran her fingers through her hair as she spoke. Geeta had looked away to formulate her thoughts, giving Brandy a chance to watch her face closely, awaiting the chairwoman's reaction. "I don’t know. It’s a complicated issue. I think it’s just human nature.”

Geeta nodded slowly at Brandy’s response, eyebrows twitching closer together as she stared into the middle distance. And then she, apparently, came to a conclusion. Her hands clasped behind her back, her eyes refocused on the nervous ranger in front of her, and her polite smile returned. “Well then. I suppose I’ll have to fix that.” She stated, quite matter-of-factly.

“You’re- sorry.” Brandy tilted her head in confusion. Michael, who had been paying close attention to the interaction, imitated Brandy’s head tilt exactly. “You’re going to fix human nature?”

Geeta gave the gravity of this question the consideration it deserved, which evidently took no more than a couple seconds. “Yes. Yes I am.”

Brandy blinked at this. Geeta smiled politely. And somehow, despite the absolutely ludicrous nature of the claim, Brandy couldn’t quite get herself to doubt that this woman was going to be able to make good on her plan.

“Okay.” She ran her fingers through her hair. “Okay…do you want…help?”

Geeta beamed at this. “Your help would be invaluable, I would love nothing more. Perhaps we can set up a meeting to discuss more of your observations on trainer culture in connection to the league?” Before Brandy could respond, Geeta continued. “Ah, but I’m getting ahead of myself. It’s five minutes to the hour, and we both have places to be. We’ll discuss this at a later date. Thank you for the chat, Brandy.”

“Thanks for listening. It was nice meeting you.”

“You as well. Take care now.”

And with that she was off, hands clasped behind her back as she continued down the path towards Mesagoza, leaving Brandy alone with their thoughts.

‘What the goddam shit did I just offer to help with?’

#ooc post #ask game #//if this interpretation of Geeta doesn't match your canon just hush and move on #//I don't wanna hear about how you think she's Evil Actually #written stuff

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tsu22 · 1 year

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earlier, i ran away from my supervisor by hiding in the pantry. then during my escape i had ideas. snippets of what i have in mind:

#yuki is in culinary school in italy #he is the new neighbour #pierre hasnt had the chance to meet his new neighbour #pyry his other neighbour slash gym buddy told him abt how his new new neighbour is great and makes mean lasagna #me myself and i #written stuff

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cadaverkeys · 5 months

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You guys rlly don't realise how much knowledge is still not committed to the internet. I find books all the time with stuff that is impossible to find through a search engine- most people do not put their magnum opus research online for free and the more niche a skill is the less likely you are to have people who will leak those books online. (Nevermind all the books written prior to the internet that have knowledge that is not considered "relevant" enough to digitise).

Whenever people say that we r growing up with all the world's knowledge at our fingertips...it's not necessarily true. Is the amount of knowledge online potentially infinite? Yes. Is it all knowledge? No. You will be surprised at the niche things you can discover at a local archive or library.

#rambles #if you are a person who is into delicate skills #like lacemaking or printing or sewing #you will know fair well just how non expansive the knowledge online is in comparison to written guides from like the 50s #there was a time where at least one person in the household had to know a constructive skill #but in the modern day there is just less ans less demands for comprehensive guides #library propaganda #im stuck doing an essay rn but bc i have covid i cant go to the library and its totally fucked me #i want to source a lot of the stuff i read irl but i just cant go and get it and theres no online ver

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sadiewayne · 3 months

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"adhd isn't a disability"

breaks down over trying to start tasks until he deadline is stupidly close

unable to do basic chores unless it's like 4am and then the whole damn house gets cleaned

speaks too fast

tangent and tangent and tangent. makes social situations hard

literally unable to stop themselves from interrupting people mid sentence (and the constant "*interrupts*- sorry, please continue")

knows what they want to say, cannot find the words, even if it's something basic

auditory processing disorder (pretty common with adhd), like how do you explain that you can hear but your brain has minecraft server lag and the chat will appear soon

hyperfixations, and people thinking they are special interests when they are not (they are short term, literally stops you from basic care like eating and drinking when in) edit: it was brought to my attention this comes across like special interests are easier to live with which is not the case, please do not take that away from this post!!!

impulse purchases making bank accounts cry

all or nothing. not hungry to pain. don't need to pee until pain. you get the picture

cannot sit still, like actually can't, constant moving and shuffling which people think would be cute but actually just pisses people off

doesn't have a fidget toy, not bc they are popular but bc they would have to put it away bc dylan over there got a fidget spinner and has been loudly playing with it (dylan is neurotypical)

cannot do anything if there is something else to do that day, must wait

just stfu it is a disability

#written by an adhd person at 4am bc they cannot sleep bc brain go brrrrrrrrrrrr #but not brrrrrrrrrrrr like cute #brrrrrrrrrrrr like a ch-47 chinook #that's a helicopter #adhd #actually adhd #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurodiverse stuff #adhd problems #adhd things #actually neurodivergent #holy shit 10k

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inkskinned · 11 months

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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

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thefabledpheasant · 2 months

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Seeing other writers on tumblr talk about writing is so validating because all of them are basically:

“I hate writing but I love it more than anything but it’s agony but I have a million stories to put to paper but I barely ever write a word”

And like I’ve always felt this way and I worried it meant I wasn’t supposed to be a writer, which tore me to shreds. But no. That’s just the curse of being one, I guess.

#I’ve written the word ‘writer’ so many times in the tags that the word doesn’t look real anymore #writing #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writer stuff #writer problems #writerblr #writer things #writers #mine

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81scorp · 16 days

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Movie pitch: Fantastic Four Movies

Now that the movie rights to Fantastic Four has returned to Marvel and they have already cast the actors and started working on the first movie, I felt that I should take another crack at writing the plot summaries to some hypothetical Fantastic Four movies that will never be made.

I have already written some constructive criticisms on the first two FF movies, but this time I`m approaching it in a more "What if FOX had actually had a plan when they made these movies?" kinda way.

At first I was gonna gonna go the "What if Marvel had owned the rights to FF when they started the MCU?" route, but there are so many things that you have to think about with the MCU, how things connect and all that stuff.

So I chickened out and took the easy way.

So this filmseries takes place in it`s own universe, free from the MCU and the X-Men films.

So... with that out of the way, if I could travel back in time and make my own Fantastic Four movies instead of the ones we got... How would I make them?

Fantastic Four

The plot is very similar to the one I wrote in my CC of the first movie from 2005, except they don`t fight Doom in this one. (Reed does mention that he once had a brilliant roommate in college though, but just in a casual way.)

The four go out into space, Reed notices that he has miscalculated, they get bombarded with cosmic radiation and crashland on back on earth. They discover their powers, John thinks it`s cool, Sue and Reed are cautiously optimistic but they all feel sorry for Ben who got the worst part of the deal. A military team comes to get them, sees Ben, thinks he`s a monster, gets ready shoot him but the rest of four go: "No no! don`t shoot! he`s with us!" Reed is troubled by guilt and the four are driven home in silence.

Back at the base the four are quarantined for a few days. Reed examines and tests their powers to make sure their condition doesn`t get any worse, and to see if there is a cure for Ben.

After having tested himself and his friends and confirmed that their superpowers are not harmful Reed decides that he and his friends should use their powers for good, the next day the four save people from a burning building. Somewhere in a dark, underground lair, a man (Who`s face we don`t see) listens to the News. It`s the Mole man!

Ben hates himself and thinks that Reed has forgotten his promise to cure him, but then he meets Alicia Masters, a blind sculptress who becomes his friend.

Mole man wants to punish humanity because we take our world for granted. He plans to destroy the Fantastic Four by manipulating Ben and it works... for a while, then Ben realizes that Mole man is just playing him. The FF fight Mole man and his army of monsters in the third act.

They defeat him, celebrate and Alicia and Ben become a couple.

Fantastic Four 2

Fantastic Four dopplegangers show up and start to commit crimes and acts of terrorism, this of course gives the real FF a lot of trouble. The real FF finds the fake FF (who turns out to be shapeshifting aliens called skrulls) and they fight. But the real FF weren`t prepared for a fifth skrull, a "Super skrull" that has all their powers. Turns out that when Reed had himself and his friends tested to see if their powers were dangerous (in the first movie) there was a skrull spy who infiltrated the lab, stole some DNA samples and sent them to their HQ so that a some skrull scientist could use them to create the Super skrull.

But in the end the real FF defeat the fakes and the Super skrull.

This should be the movie where we (in this filmseries) first see the Fantasticar.

Reed proposes to Sue at the end of the movie.

Mid-credit scene: It is reported on the news that FF defeated the dopplegangers posing as them. Somewhere in a big, dark room, a man in an armor, wearing a green hood and cape watches this on a monitor.

He says, with contempt (in what is almost a whisper): "Richaards."

Fantastic Four 3

It begins in the past: The University where Reed and Victor studied. Victor is a brilliant but also arrogant student. He builds a machine, Reed takes a look at Victor`s notes and realizes that Victor has made a miscalculation and tries to warn him but Victor ignores him and turns the machine on. There`s an explosion. Victor wakes up with his face covered in bandaids, the teachers at the school has had enough of his arrogance and throws him out. Victor wanders the world (we never get to see his face BTW).

The present: FF stops a bunch of terrorists from terrorizing. It is then revealed that Reed and Sue are planning to get married in two days, and it`s not exactly easy with the responsibilities that comes with being superheroes and all that.

The next day the FF are visited by a Latverian airship that takes them to Dr Doom. Reed recognizes his old College roommate. Doom wants to rule the world and wants them to help him, they say no, he locks them up in his dungeon, they escape, they fight him and win. (It`s basically the plot from my CC of the Fantastic Four movie from 2005.) Reed and Sue get married, The End.

For now at least

Fantastic Four 4

New York gets attacked by Atlanteans, FF fights them and soon have to face their ruler: Prince Namor.

In a way Namor is similar to Dr Doom but not as evil and more reasonable. In the end (after a lot of fighting) he agrees to a ceasefire. He reveals that his original plan was not to attack the surfaceworld, but try a more diplomatic approach. But he was visited by a man from the surface who had some very compelling arguments to why he should attack. The man wore an armor with a green cape and hood.

Reed realizes who Namor is talking about: Dr Doom.

Post-credits scene: Space. A planet. A man made out of silver leaves the planet in a hurry on a surfboard. The planet is covered by an ominous shadow.

Fantastic Four 5

FF fight Galactus. (It`s pretty much the plot of my CC of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, but without the wedding subplot.)

And that`s what I would do if I was the Kevin Feige of the Fantastic Four movies from the early 2000s.

I know what you`re thinking: Wouldn`t it be more fitting to make four FF movies instead of five?

Yes, that would make more sense, but I had some more ideas and the FF have many interesting villains.

Why do I write these?

But also because I have a lot of of free time.

-------------------------------------

Started writing this 2024-04-09

Previous Fantastic Four editorials Constructive Criticism: Fantastic Four Constructive Criticism: Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Comments are not necessary but appreciated.

Other movies on my Constructive Criticism list that you can look forward to

Supergirl (1984) Jonah Hex (2010) Dragonball evolution The Spirit (2008) The Dark Knight trilogy

And as usual: English is not my first language, so if my writing doesn`t seem to flow naturally, you know why.

#editorial #constructive criticism #marvel films #fantastic four #written stuff #81scorp #fantastic 4

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veryextraincorrectfegbaquotes · 4 months

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And now, the special edition "Goop Lyn has horrible identity crisis nightmares" story

This one has got lots more dialogue, so if you like reading the Lyns talk to each other then boy is this the story for you!

To say ‘it was a memory, but not her own’ wasn’t exactly a unique thing for Goop Lyn. She has all of Lyn’s memories, underneath her own memories that only really started about a week ago. So for her to ‘remember’ something she wasn’t present for was if anything, painfully normal. But to have a memory that Lyn wasn’t present for either? That was, or at least should be, impossible. But as hard as she tried, she couldn’t recall any time Lyn had this conversation.

“Not in real life but I know what you’re talking about.”

She hadn’t said anything, but he was responding. As she stood there, frozen, trapped in this place and time she’d never been, she could only watch as he looked aside, smiling and bemused. As he looked back, visibly trying to not look condescending and failing, he said something that made her feel sick.

“Wendy buying 52 unique knives would be devastatingly expensive.”

That’s not me. I’m not her. Don’t call me that. I fought to be who I am. Look at me. I became this. I fought to be this. Acknowledge it. Acknowledge me. Look at me.

Every part of her was trying to scream out, demand he call her by her own damn name, but the sound wouldn’t come out. She felt like she was choking, then it got even worse as she felt her form giving out on her, melting away the person she was into the anonymous pile she refused to be ever again. She tried desperately to claw back herself but it just. Wouldn’t. Work. All because Hector had called her Wendy.

Then she woke up. Of course, phrasing it like that implies that ended the situation. She still felt awful, she woke up coughing and fell out of bed trying to get up. She was on her hands and knees, struggling to breathe, but at least she was in her room. Undeniably hers, specifically cleaned and prepared to be hers. It was proof that she was here and that she was herself. Because this was Her room. With her spit on the floor from struggling to breathe. Once she stabilized her breathing, she went to the bathroom to wash her face and calm down.

She walked out of her room, went down the hall and entered the bathroom. It was still late at night or early in the morning, so she had to turn on the light. She turned to the sink, looked in the mirror, and went to hell. It was wrong. It was lying, it had to be. She reached up and pulled at the lie, but it was still there, a bright pink stain on everything she was. She pulled harder, trying to yank it out, like pulling out the lying pink would show the green truth that had to be underneath. She was choking again, her throat not just feeling clogged but visibly in the mirror pulsing and changing.

Lyn’s hair was not pink. Goop Lyn’s hair is not pink. My hair isn’t this. Get rid of this fake hair. Why won’t it come out. Why is the mirror showing me Wendy’s hair. The mirror is wrong. I need to break it.

The next time Goop Lyn woke up, she was bleeding from the forehead and the mirror was broken. The streaks of red blood in her hair briefly made her feel like she was choking again, but they were just streaks against the green. Her green. Lyn was standing over her, looking in the part of the mirror that wasn’t broken while she brushed her teeth. She spat in the sink, briefly looked down at Goop Lyn, said “Hit your head like a dumbass, huh.” then left the room.

Goop Lyn jumped to her feet, rushed out and grabbed Lyn by the shoulder.

“No. We’re talking about this. Lyn meeting.”

“That Isn’t a thing.”

“Well as a 50% shareholder in Lyn inc, I’m making it a thing. And calling one. Bitch.”

“As the other 50% shareholder, I make a formal motion for you to blow yourself.”

“Motion denied, you freak.”

“You’re the bigger freak. Objectively.”

“Can you shut the fuck up so we can go start the Lyn meeting!?” “I thought this was it.”

“Sometimes I’m baffled by just how someone as great as me could have started out as a copy of you.”

“You’re really inspiring confidence in the company, miss 50% shareholder.”

“Shut up and go to the table!”

The Kitchen/Dining area, the most ‘open-plan’ area in Lyn’s (or as is more accurate Lyns) house was the standard place to discuss anything they didn’t want to end up resolving through fighting games or just regular fighting. Since Lyn was more argumentative than she let on and Goop Lyn was exactly as argumentative as she let on, it was a space they used a lot. Lyn slouched in her chair, one arm slung over the back to make it visually apparent she did not care and was not paying much attention. Goop Lyn sat with her elbows on the table, fingers steepled infront of her face.

“I hereby bring this Lyn Meeting to order. Pausing for applause.”

“Go fuck yourself. Meeting adjourned.”

“You should really make a better choice of words around your clone.”

“... Okay you got me.”

“Now then. First point of business. I… had a nightmare.”

“Damn, that sucks. Meeting adjourned.”

“Take this seriously you shitting piece of fuck!”

“Any more cusses you wanna string together or can I go.”

Goop Lyn slammed her fist on the table “It was a nightmare that was one of Wendy’s memories! I was her! Can you imagine why that would freak me out, Hm!?”

Lyn leaned back in her chair and looked up at the ceiling. “... I guess?”

“You fucking GUESS!? I woke up and I still had Wendy’s hair and you GUESS that’d bother me!?”

Lyn sighed, waved her hand to pre-emptively stop Goop Lyn from saying ‘don’t you fucking sigh at me’, then leaned forward and looked her alien clone in the eyes.

“Listen. I’m the foremost expert on whatever the fuck you are. That doesn’t mean I get it. You have my memories, so you know I don’t have any actual experience with your whole deal outside of this. So yeah, I guess dreaming you were someone else and then waking up with their hair would mess with you, I guess because I don’t fucking know. Don’t give me shit about it, alright?”

Goop Lyn paused then looked to the side.

“Maybe I was being unfair because I was stressed out of my fucking head. Maybe. It doesn’t sound like me to make a mistake, but there is a lot of you in here and you do make many, constant mistakes so…” she trailed off, then her eye widened. “There’s a lot of you, but plenty of other people. That’s how I got my strength back, by absorbing it from the mass produced clones. They must’ve put more in me than I thought.”

“Cool, we’ve cracked the code, good job team meeting adjourned.”

“Meeting not fucking adjourned, now we have a theory on why this happened, that doesn’t mean I’m over it.”

“Well get over it, there are other things I want to do today.”

Goop Lyn started moving to hold herself but stopped out of pride.

“You Listen to me this time. I don’t have a lot that’s ‘me’, okay? I’m still trying to figure out exactly where you end and I begin, but I know I like this form. It’s mine. It’s a lot like yours, because I am a kind of Lyn, my own kind. And that means a lot to me, it means pretty much everything. So can you understand why it not looking like it should, looking in a mirror and seeing someone else's hair when there’s already so little proving that I’m me would freak me out?”

Lyn paused for a moment to take it all in, this was a rare case where she couldn’t dismiss something.

“This is like, heavy shit for you huh?”

“The only thing heavier would be Lloyd coming back and yelling in my brain again.”

“Shit dude. I think this is something people would normally like, get therapy about.”

“But that’s not an option for an alien clone living in hiding.”

“And I don’t think they teach shit like that in psychology 101.”

“They’d have to reach at least 709 to start getting into my problems.”

“So what do we actually do about it?”

“... I don’t know if there is anything. I don’t think there’s ever been anyone like me, so there’s no info to go off of. For all I know this’ll never happen again, or maybe it’ll happen every night. I just don’t know.”

Lyn recognised the fear hidden in Goop Lyn’s voice. Only someone who knew her as thoroughly as Lyn did could. They were both intensely prideful and unwilling to show vulnerability, it was beneath them. Even to each other. So she knew that it was taking a lot for Goop Lyn to express this. And since they had no solutions to her problem, all Lyn could do is respond in kind. Even if she hated doing so and thought it sucked bad.

“Well if you figure out anything I should do about it, just tell me. Even if I have to sleep in your bed with you to hold you down if you wake up freaking out again. I’ll look out for ya. Not like anyone else does.”

“You better, I’m only alive and like this because of all your self confidence. You owe me.”

“Yeah yeah, I’ve got your back til death do us part.”

“Don’t fucking say it like that!”

#Lyn #Goop Lyn #Written stuff #I enjoyed writing dialogue that is specifically meant to read like set dialogue but without da pictures

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