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kimium · 9 months

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I asked @m34gs what she thinks the Twisted Wonderland house warden's favourite video games are. She answered in this ask and prompted me to give my thoughts. So, here I am!

Here are a few ground rules: I'm going to pick games I've personally played or had experience with. Also, if a game is in a series and I think they're very similar, I'm listing them together.

The House Warden's Favourite Video Game

Riddle - Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland

Wow, I'm really outing myself with how many Kirby games I've played, huh? Well, I'm not sorry. When I was a child I LOVED Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland. I loved the simple world design, the fun, easy mechanics, and the bright colours/music. It's also a fast game. Even as a child I think I beat it in like six hours. Anyways, I think Riddle would enjoy this game for those reasons. It's something he can lose himself in briefly and have fun. I know there are probably better Kirby games out there and newer ones at that, but the childhood nostalgia wins in the end.

Leona - Tetris

I really love your pick of Mahjong for Leona. Honestly, the desire to just go "yeah, what M34GS said" or pick another tactical game like Chess, Checkers, or even Go. But, I decided Tetris is also a good pick for Leona. As you said, Leona isn't one to care too much about video games, so he isn't going for one with story... like I do. He needs a low risk game with just enough puzzling. So, Tetris. It's fun to arrange things, does require some level of strategy, and is very satisfying when you win. Leona can also put it away at any time, so this means he can nap when he's bored or done.

Azul - Don't Starve Together

While I sort of wanted to pick a murder mystery game with Azul, Don't Starve Together has resource management. Which, I think is right up Azul's alley. Sure, the game has a "survive in the wild" vibe, but Azul is there trying to optimize his strategy, gather everything, and not die. He can also play with Jade and Floyd if he wishes, but there is a high chance those two would sabotage him. Azul will take that risk though, and I think those three would have a lot of fun. It's also a casual game, so he can put it away without worry of story or progress.

Kalim - Harvest Moon (any of them)

I agree that Kalim deserves a relaxing, slow game, without much conflict or objectives in it. While I think a game franchise like Animal Crossing also works, since I've never played an Animal Crossing game myself, I'm picking Harvest Moon. I think Kalim would find it very fun to build his farm, befriend the locals, solve whatever problem is occurring, and marry his favourite NPC. I didn't pick a specific Harvest Moon game simply because I only have experience with two: the original and The Tale of Two Towns (I think... I can't check right now). Besides, Harvest Moon all has the same "flavour" so to speak, so I don't think me specifically stating which game is necessary.

Vil - Super Smash Bros (any of them)

I agree that Vil would love a co-op game that he can play with his close friends. I also agree it has to be easy and with low stakes. Sure, SSBs has "meta units" and an entire competitive video game scene with the game, but I think Vil would play this as a party game. It's casual with everyone just picking their favourite characters and stage. There may be some sabotage (a must) and items on (deadly) but in the end, everyone is just playing to have a good time. Who Vil mains is up to you.

Idia - TWEWY/Neo TWEWY

The urge to pick a mobile game like Genshin Impact or an open world game like BoTW or TotK is high, but I want to avoid gacha games in my list and... I've never played BoTW or TotK. Sorry. So, I picked a personal favourite of mine: The World Ends with You and the sequel. I picked this because I think Idia is the kind of person who gets into the story of a game and enjoy the characters. TWEWY has some amazing characters, great story, amazing music, and of course, the essence of Shibuya packaged into the entire game. I also think Idia would love the game play, enjoying swapping his pins out for better ones, and enjoy the extra challenge modes.

Malleus - Pokemon Yellow/Red/Blue (or Green)

Okay, here is the problem: I think any sort of pet simulator game is great for Malleus, however, I dislike pet simulator games. I'm here for story and lore... which I think is the opposite for Malleus. But here is the thing while Pokemon has a narrative and many components it started off super simple: go around and catch Pokemon and go to the gyms. While newer Pokemon games have introduced so many things like Beauty Contests or an open world design, I think the old games are perfect for Malleus. He'd enjoy creating his team and nicknaming them. I bet he'd be delighted to learn that there are dragon type Pokemon in the world too. Sure, he may struggle with some more "meta" components but at least in the older games we didn't have Mega Evolution or newer Gens and BST to worry about.

There you have it! I hope you like my list! I had fun picking the titles while also trying to keep in line with the characters!

#personal #twisted wonderland #my headcanons

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frogtanii · 3 years

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℗ me and my husband

atsumu x fem!reader (poker face ending)

series masterlist

♡´･ᴗ･`♡

wc. 3.2k (holy shit)

warnings. NOT PROOFREAD, v v soft domestic, marriage :00, smut!! (is marked off!!), soft dom!tsumu, hair pulling (giving), unprotected sex, slight praise kink, pretty vanilla ngl

an. can be read as a one shot but u might be confused lmfao also this took SO LONG OMFG also also heavily unedited, take things w a grain of salt lmfao anyways don’t forget to feed me ahaha m rlly proud of this so i hope y’all like it <33

it was moving day and atsumu was about to lose his mind.

today was the official day of the hyper house disbandment and while most of the members were still figuring out new living arrangements and thus remaining past the deadline, you were one of the few trying to get out as soon as possible.

makki and mattsun were so excited to have you move in, they showed up early that morning to help you pack. now, it was around 1p and it was almost time for you to go. you still had a few more boxes to go but things were speeding right along.

normally, atsumu would be right by your best friends helping you out but he was currently in the middle of a breakdown.

you were leaving. leaving. he had no idea when he’d see you again (even though you promised to meet up weekly to catch up), if he would ever see you again. for all he knew, makki and mattsun would just hide you away forever, never to be seen again.

okay, so he was panicking.

it was just... atsumu was in love with you. he’d known for a while (way longer than he’d like to admit) and he selfishly thought he’d have more time with you so that he could work up the courage to confess. but now? you were like three boxes away from a distance that he didn’t know if he or your relationship could recover from.

it wasn’t that he was bad at long distance but the tragic events that the house brought, brought the two of you closer together and he didn’t want to lose that.

atsumu let out a groan and dropped his head against the wall, his mind running with scenario after scenario, all ending in failure and utter embarrassment.

“hey, you okay?” you called out, a large box cradled delicately in your arms. as atsumu turned from the plaster in front of him, he allowed himself a moment to take you in.

you were wearing short athletic shorts, worn converses, and his t shirt. a thin sheen of sweat covered your skin, the lights above reflecting off of it, giving you a warm glow.

of course you looked hot moving boxes.

you called his name again in concern and he immediately felt his heart clench in guilt. you’d already been through so so much and here he was fantasizing about you instead of being there for you like a good friend would.

atsumu let out a sigh and shot you a wide, albeit empty, smile before walking over to you and taking the box out of your hands. the furrow in your brows told him you saw through his expression but he ignored it and made a show of lifting your box above his head and carrying it to mattsun’s car.

“see, what would ya do without these guns angel?” he joked, placing the cardboard into the trunk. you rolled your eyes and poked him in the side playfully. “die, probably.”

the butterflies in his stomach kicked up at the underlying sincerity in your voice but he tried his best to overlook it. it was much harder than it seemed, especially when you looked at him with such fondness in your gaze that made him want to kiss you senseless.

gulping hard, he quickly turned away from you, busying himself with fitting your things in the truck like a game of tetris.

“atsumu.” your voice was firm but pleading and he didn’t dare look at you for fear of spilling everything right then and there. “wow, ya sure got a lot of stuff, huh? wonder how much of this was bought with ushijima’s money,” he started to ramble but thankfully he was interrupted by makki whooping as he walked out of the house.

“last box bitches!” you shot atsumu one final worried look before running over to makki and mattsun, yelling the whole way there.

atsumu was grateful your back was to him because he couldn’t hide the affectionate look that overtook his face, a soft smile spreading across his lips as he watched you hip bump your friends while cackling wildly.

god, he was so in love with you.

what was he going to do when you moved out and away? what if you found someone, someone how loved you as much as he did (not possible)? he would wish for your happiness even at the expense of his own but... what if you both could be happy?

caught up in his thoughts, atsumu didn’t register you saying your goodbyes to the remaining members until you were finally in front of him.

“i’m gonna miss living with you tsum.” you unceremoniously launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your face in his chest. his heart leapt violently at the contact and he prayed to every deity above that you didn’t hear it underneath your head.

he barely managed to hug you back before you pulled away, your eyes slightly teary and red. “um, well, makki and mattsun are waiting for me so uh,” you trailed off looking back at the van and your friends who were so (im)patiently waiting for you to join them.

atsumu’s breath quickened as you scooted a bit away from him, truly getting ready to leave. no, no, it couldn’t end like this, awkward and distant. no, he wasn’t going to let it.

“atsumu?” you asked worriedly, reaching out a hand to touch him when he didn’t respond but he couldn’t hear you. he felt hot all over, like he was going to explode or magically combust if he didn’t get the words out into the air.

“tsum, are you oka-“ “i’m in love with ya.”

you paused, shock written clearly all over your face. the fear of rejection slammed into atsumu like a brick, the feeling settling in the pit of his stomach like a rock but he still didn’t stop.

“i’m in love with ya and i have been for forever. yn, yer beautiful but yer face and body aren’t even the best part of ya, even though they’re pretty damn great. yer just-“

“tsum-“

“-yer so kind, especially when ya don’t need ta be. yer badass but ya care fer others so deeply and ya make me wanna be a better person. ya make me a better person. i know ya-“

“tsumu please-“

“-ya probably don’t feel the same and that’s alright but i needed ta tell ya, before ya leave and fall in love with some other scrub, just in case we can be happy together and-“

all of a sudden, your hands were buried in his shirt and you were pulling him close to meet your lips with his, your mouths meshing together in a soft and passionate kiss.

bliss. atsumu was in sheer bliss. your lips were as soft as he thought they would be as they moved with his, his hands coming up to grip your waist and pull you even closer to him.

sooner than he would have liked, his lungs started burning for air so he pulled back but not very far, instead resting his forehead against yours.

“i was trying to tell you i liked you too, idiot,” you muttered, your eyes still closed as you spoke. he chuckled, a wide grin overtaking his entire face as he really took in what you were saying.

you liked him back. you liked him. holy shit.

but instead of saying any of that, he decided to tease you a bit. “just like? if i recall, i just confessed my undying love for ya.”

you pulled back with a faux scoff, hitting him in the arm with a huff. “shut up you ass. of course i love you too.” you couldn’t keep your real smile off your cheeks while you confessed, your soft expression bringing another wave of desire over atsumu’s body.

“can, can i take ya inside angel?” he allowed his true intentions to be heard in his words, your eyes widening when you figured out what he meant. you nodded vigorously before shooting a look to makki and mattsun. mattsun just waved you off and got into his truck while makki yelled, “get that dick!”

you heated up horribly, grabbing atsumu’s hand and pulling him towards the house and to his room. he allowed himself to be dragged along, sending winks to the other boys as he went until the two of you were standing right in front of his door.

“i love ya,” he whispered, lifting your hand to his lips to place a gentle kiss there. you grinned. “love you too tsum.”

that must have been the final straw because the minute the words left your mouth, he was on you.

••• smut begin•••

pressing you up against the door, atsumu ravaged your mouth, his tongue tangling with yours as he walked you backwards into his room, laying you down on the bed so that he was hovering over you, his hips pressing hard against yours.

instinctively, you ground up into him, rewarding you with a loud groan and a gasp of your name. “fuck angel, yer killing me here,” he laughed breathlessly, rolling his hardness against your thigh. you let out a breathy moan and tangled your hands in his hair to bring him back down to your lips.

as you continued to kiss him, his hands scrambled at your waist, pushing his hands under it to grope at your chest. you giggled at the cold of his fingers but he didn’t pay it any mind, moving down from your mouth to your neck, sucking dark marks into the sensitive skin there.

“ah, shit tsumu,” you tilted your head to the side to give him more access, just as he reached under your bra to tease your nipples. a startled gasp left you, your back arching into his careful touch. “that feel good angel?” atsumu asked, voice low and gravelly as he pinched the delicate bud, drawing another noise from your throat.

you nodded, not trusting yourself to speak. you bit your bottom lip while he pulled your shirt and bra off, tossing them somewhere in the room. as he scanned your half naked body, he noticed you quieting yourself and he lightly shook his head. his thumb found its way to your lip, carefully pulling it from between your teeth.

“wanna hear ya angel, let me hear yer pretty noises, yeah?” without letting you respond, atsumu dove back into your chest, suckling one of your nipples into his mouth while toying with the other, a sigh of his name sending a bolt of arousal straight to his loins.

he grinded against you absentmindedly, losing himself in you, eventually switching sides to give the same treatment to your neglected bud.

while atsumu seemed to be having the time of his life attached to your tit, you were getting impatient, your arousal completely soaking through your underwear. you needed more.

tangling your fingers in his blond locks, you attempted to tug him away from your chest but his reaction was unlike anything you could’ve expected. “aahh!” he let out a strangled whine, his hips bucking against your side.

“please, tsumu, need more,” you breathed, his needy reaction not lost on you as pulled his hair a bit harder. you were not disappointed as his eyes rolled back and his mouth opened in a silent moan before dropping his head to your shoulder.

“fuck, fuck, okay angel, i got ya, i got ya.” atsumu swiftly disposed of both yours and his bottoms and underwear before lifting your leg and positioning himself at your entrance.

“tell me if i hurt ya, alright? i love ya,” he smiled down on you, your heart swelling two times at his carefulness. “i love you too,” you replied, watching as his pupils grew and a low groan broke free from his chest.

“oh angel, ‘m gonna ruin ya.” that was the last thing he said before he pushed into you, both of you letting out whimpers as he stretched you open, the blunt head of his cock just a few centimeters shy of your cervix.

your back arched in pleasure, both of your hands scrambling until they found purchase on his back, your nails digging in just when he started to thrust shallowly into you.

“f-fuck, how’re ya s-so fuckin’ tight?” atsumu growled through gritted teeth, every word punctuated with a roll of his hips. you couldn’t respond as you were too overwhelmed with pleasure, his cock rubbing against your g-spot with every slow movement.

speaking of slow, he was moving way too leisurely for your tastes. you needed him to move faster and you knew exactly how to do it.

sliding your hand up from his back, you grabbed a good chunk of hair from the back of his head and pulled. his reaction was immediate and oh-so gratifying.

an honest to god whimper poured from his lips and he instantly thrusted all the way into you, his length driving into your g-spot perfectly. you both let out twin moans as he started rocking into consistently, every movement bringing you closer and closer to your peak.

“i love ya, i love ya so fuckin’ much, angel—shit—yer so amazing, i love ya,” atsumu rambled while pounding into you, deep curses and whines of your name interspersed with his declarations of love. if you could speak, you would reciprocate but you were too busy holding on for dear life as he fucked you into oblivion.

desperate for some kind of anchor to reality, you grasped onto his locks again, gripping tightly as drawn-out cries of his name slipped from your open lips. you were close, so close and he knew it too.

“feel ya clenchin’ around me like a good girl, ya gonna cum fer me? gonna cum fer me angel?” atsumu’s hand snaked down between your bodies to rub fast circles on your clit, a shaky sob finding its way out into the open air.

“oh shit, yeah, ‘m g-gonna cum for you tsum, ‘s all for you,” you moaned, clamping down on him sporadically as you started to cum, your vision whiting out and your thighs trembling while you gushed around him.

your mind was floating off when you felt him cum with a shout, his warmth flooding you and spilling out as he collapsed onto your chest.

••• smut over •••

the two of you lied there for a while, attempting to regain your brain and feeling in your legs. you vaguely made note of the wet rag cleaning between your thighs and the following weight falling down beside you but it was only after a few more minutes that you really came back to yourself, rolling over to lay on atsumu’s bare chest.

“holy shit, tsumu,” you said in awe, your boyfriend (!!) laughing at your reaction. “i’m just that good angel, what can i say?”

you groaned and hit him in the chest but you couldn’t keep the smile off your face if you tried. “you are such a menace!”

“only fittin’ that i picked a gremlin ta be with then,” atsumu teased while playing with a piece of your hair. mock offense filled your chest as you sat up, fixing him with your ‘angriest’ glare.

“is that the kind of language you’ll be using in your vows, mister?” you were only joking but when atsumu’s eyes widened and a blush spread across his cheeks, you realized your mistake.

you opened your mouth to apologize or to make some kind of excuse but he beat you to the punch. “ya wanna marry me angel?” he asked, looking so vulnerable with hope shining in his brown irises. you couldn’t bear to lie.

“of course tsum, you’re it for me,” you reached out a hand to caress his cheek and he leaned into it, his own coming up to cup yours and hold it against his face.

“good.” and that was the end of that, that evening’s... extraneous activities having thoroughly tired to the point that you fell completely asleep with your face against one of his pecs.

if you had stayed awake a little longer, you would’ve seen atsumu pull out his phone and start a new note titled, “my angel.”

if i just said i loved you, it would be an understatement. it would be like saying the sun’s surface is just a bit warm or that the arctic is just a little chilly. it would be an injustice to you and to how i truly feel about you. love—

“-is a word that is much too soft and used far too often ta ever describe the fierce, infinite and blazing passion that i have in my heart for ya angel. ya acknowledge my strengths and ya accept my faults. ya make me wanna be a better person every day. so, today i vow ta laugh with ya and comfort ya during times of joy and times of sorrow. i promise ta always pursue ya, ta fight for ya, and love ya unconditionally and wholeheartedly for the rest of my life. ya are my best friend and i’m the luckiest person on earth ta call ya mine- wait are ya crying?"

the audience burst into laughter as you frantically tried to wipe away your tears, punching atsumu softly on the arm. “of course i am, you ass.”

the officiant cleared his throat, grabbing both of your attentions. “it is the bride’s turn to give her vows. if you may?”

you nodded and atsumu already felt like crying. again. he’d cried that morning while getting dressed and then again when you walked down the aisle in the most beautiful dress he had ever seen. now, as he watched you pull a folded piece of paper out of your bra, he knew he’d made the right decision in confessing to you, all those years ago.

he also knew he was definitely going to cry again.

“atsumu, falling for you wasn’t falling at all—it was walking into a house and knowing that you’re home. today, i want to make you promises that i will always keep. i promise to never stop holding your hand or accepting your kisses. i promise to not hit you too hard when you insult me or call me a gremlin. i promise to share my food with you, to never go to bed angry, and to try and understand your obsession with professional men’s volleyball. i promise to love, respect, protect and trust you, and give you the best of myself, for i know that together we will build a life far better than either of us could imagine alone. i choose you. i’ll choose you over and over and over, without pause, without doubt, i’ll keep choosing you.

i used to never truly enjoy moments because i was always waiting for what's next. the next thing horrible thing to happen. now that i have you, i enjoy the moment. every moment.

today seems like it's the start of a new journey, but i already belong to you. falling for you wasn't falling at all—it was walking into a house and knowing you're home. i love you.”

and at least in this lifetime

we’re sticking together

me and my husband

we’re sticking together

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saiKishaircLip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp • @keiarma • @shrimpypenis

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

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golgoterror · 4 years

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Alright, this is ungodly long, but I just wanted to talk about something regarding Jake.

A lot of this fandom -- at least, from what I’ve seen -- label Jake as stupid. Some may even say Jake and smart are antonyms. This could not be further from the truth. It almost irritates me how much the fandom places this mischaracterization on him. Also, I get to talk about The Lad™ for about ten pages worth of words on Google docs, which is always very, very fun for me.

Well, first things first, let’s talk about the child genius and multi-billionaire polymath that is Jake English.

Puzzle Modus.

Let’s begin with something small. Jake’s modus is of puzzlekind! This is described as:

It's quite a handy modus, allowing you to captchalogue objects of any size, as long as you can fit them all in a finite space by maneuvering the cards around like a big game of Tetris. You like it because it keeps you sharp for solving any puzzles you might find when you go out raiding hallowed tombs, which is never. (x)

He likes puzzles! This is a huge headcanon I absolutely adore that has a basis in the comic: He’s a puzzles guy! This is just sort of a neat little fact about him that I adore to the moon and back. Just the idea of Jake fiddling about with a Rubik’s Cube is kind of adorable.

This is how he goes about doing everything every day of his life. I think that’s just amazing! And incredibly smart of him, I might add.

Skaianet.

Jake is shown in the credits to take over Skaianet after the game ended. For those unfamiliar, Skaianet made many things for the game, including but not limited to: the interstellar travel we see, transportalizers, the lab by Rose’s house, all Jake’s fancy-schmancy computers, and Sburb itself. In the beta timeline, Grandpa Harley founded Skaianet. In the alpha timeline, Grandma English did. I know Jake didn’t start it up and trying to pass off his alt-timeline self as him is a bit far-fetched at best, but he had the spoons to take it over. I think that speaks volumes for Jake’s intelligence -- this implies, at the very least, he can understand mathematics and physics at a high level. Remind you of someone we already know?

It is also important to note that Jake does, in fact, build the company back from the ground up, because it went to shit before his grandmother died:

GT: Pretty sure her company made a tidy fortune til it went belly up. At least i still have a few of her knickknacks for keepsakes. (x)

So he built an interstellar company back up -- using what his intelligent grandmother had once used -- to being very useful and practical once again.

As someone with a degree in mathematics and about to finish a degree in physics, I can say this sort of work would for sure require at the very least a decent understanding of quantum mechanics, statistical mechanics, electrodynamics, calculus (vector and differential forms), ordinary and partial differential equations, and perhaps other things like topology. I don’t know about you -- and I’m probably tooting my own horn a bit by saying this -- but I think that’s pretty nifty, if I do say so myself.

Actor.

Once again, I’m reaching into the credits to show that Jake has become a movie star after the game ends. Memorizing all those lines, slipping into characters... Being an actor is no easy feat.

( Side note: This leads into my headcanon that Jake can imitate accents and voices on a whim. No more arguing about whether he has a British, American, or Australian accent -- you’re all right! )

And I would like to add he has two jobs! Skaianet and being a movie star! This guy’s a fucking polymath for Christ’s sake.

Reading People.

Let’s start of simple: Brain Ghost Dirk. I can hear the outcries now of Dirk’s powers being the cause for this. And, yes, I can’t ignore Dirk’s influence in this, but Jake’s hope powers were also needed for the projection to come alive. And the fact he was able to make such a startlingly accurate projecting of Dirk in his own mind is astounding -- even BGD himself thinks so!

TT: You could view me as a projection of the real Dirk within your mind, as expressed through all of your thought patterns about him. TT: So I'm kind of a splinter of his corporeal self who happens to live in your awareness. TT: I'm a startlingly close approximation to the real thing, for all intents and purposes. GT: Just how startlingly close are we talking? TT: I'm not going to give you a bogus percentage like the glasses cause that's not my shtick. TT: But pretty damn close. (x)

A very deep understanding of the other is needed for Jake to do this. That is pretty fucking incredible. He can clearly read people really well -- he had a few times where he was cluing in on Jane and Dirk have feelings for him:

TG: its one of those things jane likes about u so much GT: It is? TG: which TG: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr im not supposed to talk about 2 u evr so nm GT: Talk about what? TG: nope GT: You mean how um... GT: Well a way in which i suppose... TG: no nope GT: Jane is prone to looking upon me with what i fathom to be more than just friendly affection? (x)

TT: I guess call it an extra birthday present. But instead of a present that's awesome, consider it more like a weird confession that may change the way you feel about me. GT: Whoa uh... GT: Dirk are you... uh... GT: Saying what i think? (x)

He’s not completely clueless on people! In fact, he seems to have a really good understanding of his friends. That’s something a lot of people seem to forget because of the incident that I will be getting to later on.

Fending For Himself.

I’ve already written quite a bit on this, but I’ll sum it up here: Jake is exceptionally good at living in the wild and taking care of himself. Sort of like a wild garden; he doesn’t need to be taken care of. Survival skills, especially around fighting and fending off things, aren’t something everyone has. This, once again, counts in his favour, even if it doesn’t line-up with “book smarts”.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

That’s five things! It’s clear Jake is, in fact, a polymath and incredibly intelligent. So, what’s with the fandom painting him as being dumb? What’s with people actually thinking he’s stupid? I think we can all take several wild guesses as to why that’s the case.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Takes things literally.

This is something that plagues Jake quite a lot. Case in point:

GT: Wow like the epic kevin costner film? TT: Almost exactly. Especially by the same degree of shittiness. GT: Oh man does that mean you have to drink your own pee?????? TT: You get used to the taste. Welcome it, even. TT: That takes about 15 days in a row of hard piss drinking though. GT: Ewwwwwwwwwwww no dude. No ew. :( TT: Relax, I don't drink any goddamn piss, ok? GT: Oh ok. Whew. (x)

But, well, let’s address the elephant in the room. The chat I laughed so hard at when I read it the first time due to pure, unadulterated second-hand embarrassment: Jake asking Jane if she had feelings for him.

Let’s analyze this, shall we? Jake starts off by being vague as all Hell, and I’ll spare those details, until finally...

GT: Just come out and say it. Do you fancy me? GG: No! GT: I see. GT: Very well then. GT: Jeez i mustve really misread that one! I feel like kind of a bone head now. (x / x)

Okay, she says no, and he backs off. That’s fine and dand--

GG: No!!!!!! GG: Oh my God, what am I saying here? GG: Jake, I didn't mean it! I didn't want to make you feel that way! GT: Now jane lets not backpedal here. GT: Youve spoken the truth and i greatly appreciate and respect you for that. GT: But now that i think about it you know what? GG: ... GG: No? :( GT: Please dont take this the wrong way but your answer is actually kind of a relief! (x)

... Oh, right. Yeah. It keeps going. It just keeps--

GT: Actually since youve made your feelings apparent and only see me as a friend that makes it a lot easier! GG: Haha, yes! GG: Friends!!!! GT: Maybe you could help me sort out some stuff that has been weighing on me lately? GG: Well what are friends for Jake!!!!! (x)

Sweet Jesus, Jake.

GG: Me? GG: HOO HOO HOO! GG: I'm just GG: Terrific! GG: I'm feeling so... GG: Friendly!!! GG: I clearly just want to be a good friend and bring all my AMAZING FRIENDLINESS to bear on your problems. GG: Friendlystyle! Ahahahah? GG: Shit I mean GG: Ahahahah! GT: Thats aces. Jane youre a sweetheart. (x)

Alright, alright, enough! You all remember the fucking chat.

Regardless, it’s very apparent Jake takes things at face value. I also will cite him talking to Jane before her birthday, but not list examples, because what happened above will just happen once again.

Okay, so he takes things at face value. What’s wrong with that? He trusts people to not lie to his face -- to not sugarcoat things or beat around any bushes. Perhaps I’m projecting a bit, but I do the same damn thing. I think a lot of people do! I don’t think reading things as fact over text is a good measure of someone’s intellect. All it does is show he has issues with communication. Okay, so he struggles with one thing. Sue me.

Doesn’t catch things right away.

Yeah okay I’m just gonna dump a few examples of this.

GT: Haha wow. Must have been a hell of a guy. TT: So... TT: You're not making any connections there? GT: Where? Huh? TT: Famous comedian, about the age of your grandma, inheriting the family name of the Baroness... TT: Not ringing a bell? GT: What are you talking about! Dirk stop speaking in riddles and keep telling the story i am on tenterhooks here! TT: Ok, well it's not like it's that important. Just a super obvious thing that'll probably occur to you later when you're looking in the fridge you don't have, at which point you'll feel like an idiot. GT: Oh my god you can be one opaque motherfucker just clue me in bro! TT: Nah, it'll be funnier this way. GT: STRIIIIIIDEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!! TT: Moving on. (x)

GT: Whats going on? TT: Took you long enough to figure it out. TT: Pages really are a slow burning class. Damn. GT: Figure what out! TT: You're asleep. (x)

This leads into the point above. His mind doesn’t work that way -- but that doesn’t mean he’s not intelligent. He needs everything laid out in front of him so he can make the connections and understand what’s happening, but there’s no real harm in this, and it certainly doesn’t dictate whether the guy is “intelligent” or not.

There are many, many more examples in canon depicting Jake as having difficulties with communication and you all can open most of his pesterlogs and probably find one. I’m not going to list anymore. But, hold your horses, I swear I’m getting to a point!

Difficulty reading.

A lot of the media Jake consumes is picture-based. Movies, comics, even the puzzles are most likely spacial and probably not riddles. It’s not far to imagine Jake might not be a terribly good reader, considering nobody was really around to make him read. Of course, his grandmother was around when he was little, so he can read -- and he can read just fine. But he probably isn’t very good at it simply from lack of practice. He also has terrible grammar, something Jane picks on him for, so it’s entirely possible that’s a contributing factor. He may just have trouble reading and writing.

Speaking from experience, I have dyslexia. As such, reading and writing are incredibly hard for me. I never read the books in my literature classes -- both in English and French -- but I did get the gist of the books (enough to get a decent mark in the class at least) by watching a movie adaptation of the novel. I don’t think it’s that far-off to think Jake may, indeed, do the same thing.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

NOTE: This next part is a bit hard for me to write, because I don’t want to vilify any of you. It might not have clued in on anyone or maybe you just saw Jake as a sort of comic relief and meant no harm by it. And I hope shining a light on this will make you all think twice about the guy. However, I can’t really avoid this next part, and I may get a bit emotional in it. Just a bit of a warning.

All of the above points are just me trying to say Jake probably has undiagnosed learning disabilities and perhaps autism. I don’t think I need to go into detail about how those don’t make someone “stupid”. If you think that’s the case, fuck you. I can’t argue with ableists, much less do I actually want to.

NOTE: I wrote a thing on his speech impediments. That may be of interest too. I don’t really know, but here it is nonetheless.

My take-away message here is: just because someone struggles with socialization or other things doesn’t mean fucking anything in terms of their intelligence. Jake is very clearly smart and has the ability to read people incredibly well -- to the point of making copies of them! Perhaps it’s just a bit easy to underestimate the guy compared to other characters, though.

There are other things that muddy this up a bit, unfortunately.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Trolling.

Jake is such a fucking troll. Jesus shitting Christ, does he get a kick out of acting stupid just to make the other person look silly. Or perhaps even to make himself laugh in the process. Case in point:

uu: I WILL JUST BE YOUR PATRON DUDE. uu: OR MAYBE. YOUR PATRON MANBRO. GT: Sounds pretty gay. uu: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? GT: Whats what? uu: GAY. WHAT'S GAY YOU IDIOT FUCK. GT: Oh right. GT: Forgive me i forget you arent familiar with all of my earth lingo. GT: Its like... GT: How do i explain. GT: You know. Its a rather old fashioned term for being jolly and festive together. GT: Like "that rollicking time we had scrumming the other eve sure was gay." uu: I SEE. uu: THEN YES. YOU ARE CORRECT. uu: THIS IS GOING TO BE GAY AS HELL. (x)

Look at his goddamn face during this exchange:

That little bastard knows exactly what he’s doing.

And these aren’t stand-alone events! Jake is very, very silly and will use the fact others see him as stupid to have a little fun. May as well, right? And, in the process, he makes others look pretty damn stupid.

But sometimes it’s a bit hard to tell when he’s acting stupid against when he’s genuinely not getting something. I think he even fools himself sometimes! So you have to be a bit careful about fake-outs. I’m sure even the other alphas have trouble deducing when he’s doing this -- which only adds to the myth of him actually being “stupid” when viewed on first-glace.

He probably also does this with crushes, purposefully ignoring the signs because he doesn’t want to deal with it or may not believe anyone could like him that way. After all, if he’s wrong, he may think himself to be conceded and having a big head. So, he ignores the signs, thus convincing himself the feelings aren’t there. Then he gets absolutely fucking bamboozled beyond belief to find out they actually do like him. But that’s just a little side-note.

Thinks he’s stupid.

This one is just a bit... Sad. Very sad. Jake genuinely does think he’s stupid. Quite a lot, really.

GT: I shoulda asked where he fit into the picture if you were raised alone. I can be dumb as a bag of penny candy sometimes. (x)

Just... Man, he’s been called and treated as stupid so many times, he’s at the point where he believes it. If you asked him, he’d say Dirk is a genius, Roxy is always smart and sassy, and Jane is brilliant. (I don’t have a source for that last one but... Come on. She lectures him about grammar. Don’t fuck with me.) But when it comes to himself? He can’t say the same. Of course he then acts that way. He sees himself as a burly adventurer who is also a gentleman and tries to live up to that. No where along those lines does he think he’s intelligent. And that’s just... a little heartbreaking, really, all things considered.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Can’t believe this blog is just me going, “Wanna see how fast I can talk about Jake?”, and a shit-ton of people all nodding before I talk for six hours straight. Anyway, take-home message is: Jake’s smart. Jake’s very, very smart. He’s also a himbo, but he’s incredibly smart. Just because he has learning disabilities doesn’t mean fuck-all.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. There are drinks and refreshments in the back. Have a safe trip home. Remember to tip your waiters and waitresses. Jesus fuck can I run this gag any harder into the ground? Giving me language was a mistake. No but, really, if you read this whole damn thing, thank you! I hope this was as fun to read as it was to write.

#ooc.#headcanons.#about.#ableism tw #and i hate to do this but after the speech impediment post i must:#dont steal these headcanons.#(unless youre a jake rper then by all means thats fine!)#yes these arent exclusive to jake but this took a lot of time and effort #id appreciate it if youd all respect that #tia! <3

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marioclash · 6 years

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my favorite games that of 2017 in no particular order (i will count ports of older games as well)

zelda botw, crash n sane trilogy(technically 3 games but who cares), mario odyssey, mario kart 8 deluxe, sonic mania, hat in time, snipperclips, puyo puyo tetris (switch), shovel knight treasure trove (again, technically 3 games but who cares)

couldnt play a lot of huge releases because MONEY but these are some of my favorites

more about my picks under the cut

botw: i absolutely adored this game, it was incredibly refreshing to see zelda go in this open world direction. this was what sold the switch for me. i have over 250 hours in this game and i havent even finished the second dlc

n sane trilogy: a huge surprise! i honestly thought it was gonna be a little finicky in certain areas, but it is crash through in through. it has welcome additions as well as tweaks to each of the three games that are incredibly welcome

mario odyssey: wow. just wow... this is the best mario game ever. no contest about it. it took what made every mario game great and multiplied it tenfold. cappy is incredibly well implemented and marios control has been tweaked to what i consider absolute perfection. seriously. an amazing game.

mario kart 8 deluxe: the first port on this list! despite not caring about battle mode in general when it comes to mario kart, this is a fantastic port that runs amazing on the switch. i owned the wii u version with all the dlc, but i do believe the 60 dollar price tag is worth it for what is definitely the best mario kart game ever

sonic mania: another huge surprise for me! im bad at sonic games... like really really bad. and usually when it comes to sonic games ill get frustrated and put the game down and pick it back up months later, but with mania, if i ever got frustrated with some stupid section, it was so good that i didnt feel like throwing a fit whenever i messed up. the drop dash is a very nice mechanic, and its easier to gain speed than ever before. loved it.

hat in time: i didnt back this game, i didnt even hear about it until like a year ago. however when i first played this, i felt that childlike wonder that i felt when i first played mario 64 as a little kid. its cute as HELL, the graphics are nice and colorful, and its very fun to just run around. its pretty easy for the entire game, but thats not always a bad thing. its a fun game to just kick back and relax and play

snipperclips: ...huh. didnt even think id like this one. i played it completely single player, and despite it being more difficult, i thought it was still fun! the mechanics are very new and fresh and its so damn cute

puyo puyo tetris: im a tetris guy. ill say that right here. i dont play puyo puyo. however, this game made me love puyo puyo. the tetris part of the game is absolutely the definitive version of the game, and with the story mode, it will ease you into playing whatever you might not be familiar with. a delightful, intense romp all the way through. FUCK puyo players online though

shovel knight treasure trove: GOD i love this game... or games. my favorite of the three being specter of torment, it lends itself to the old platform games on the nes with nice twists on the standard formula to keep you on your toes. a bit difficult at parts, but nothing TOO bad. a great package of three great games.

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blaperile · 7 years

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Hiveswap Episode 1 Reaction Part 3: Joey’s room? More like our eternal playground!

Before we start again, I had a random thought about something I learned yesterday.

So, Joey implied she doesn't really have any friends. But on the other hand, she also seemed to imply that she has a boyfriend when examnining the Clarissa poster. If she's so bad at making friends, then I'm really curious to learn more about her boyfriend!

I mean, assuming I understood it correctly, perhaps I misunderstood it and she doesn't actually have a boyfriend. :P

Anyway, day 3 of playing! It's weekend and 4:50 PM right now, let's see how much we'll get done today!

First of all we're gonna check out the closet, then try out some more combinations of using items on other items, there's a bunch of those that we can still try out, with the tap shoes, diary key and Cherub key. Afterwards, we'll probably examine the computer, window, walkie talkie and doors and see if we can advance!

Oooooh, nice, we can actually open the closet!

A bunch of puzzles and other neat stuff in there... including a Simon Says game! I saw that in concept art not too long ago, perhaps there'll be something special about it? ...And I'm not just saying that because it seems to be blinking like hell. :P

Oh boy... we can CHALLENGE the Simon Says game. Is this gonna be a mini-game? xD

plainWonder has a cool theory that Joey might use the batteries of this game for her walkie talkie! After having seen it in concept art I first thought she'd get batteries out of that radio, but perhaps this is a more likely theory!

...Pfff, so she even USED the batties of the walkie talkie ON the Simon Says game in the first place, hahaha.

GREEN BUTTON ISN'T WORKING, looooooool. Hahaha, it was worth the try/nostalgia.

Nope, can't use the batteries on the cherub key, obviously. :P

Analogue key, ahahaha. xD

Can we have battery-powered tap shoes? :mspa:

YOU RUN ON RAZZLE DAZZLE OH MY GOD. So THAT'S where that dance from that concept art comes from, hahaha!

Ooooooh, apparently you can also combine items with the Joey symbol in the upper right corner! Looks like it gives a more general explanation on what those items actually are, that's interesting.

Hehe, yes Joey, the lessons you followed for tap dancing probably deserve some credit as well. :P

Oh my god I love all those ridiculous comments when combining items with the ballerina poster. Combining the diary key with it gives some pretty cool insight though, nice.

Tap Shoes && Ballerina poster (might be a handy way to address the combinations!)==> Ha, looks like we'll get another Joey dance if we come back here with the ballerina shoes instead! :D

Cherub Key && Hot Steppin' poster ==> Looks like Ms. Claire probably didn't do ballet by herself but danced in a group together with multiple women! Also, this shows that Joey only got this poster AFTER Ms. Claire died.

Diary Key && Hot Steppin' poster ==> Oh???? She's got ANOTHER diary? Looks like this might be the only time we'll ever hear of it though. :P

Tap shoes && Hot Steppin' poster ==> Doing taxes at church tho' xD

Batteries && Story That Keeps Happening poster ==> IMAGINAAAAAAAAAAATION. That's all there really is to say on the matter. :mspa:

Cherub Key && Story That Keeps Happening poster ==> Oh so the Cherub Key might be a reference to The Neverending Story??? Haha, I didn't know that! It's been years since I last saw that movie. Interestingly, Joey seems to be SURE that the key is older "by at least a few years" than the movie. I looked it up, the movie came out in 1984, so when Joey was 4 years old! Hmmm, curious!

Tap Shoes && Story That Keeps Happening poster ==> Always not-ending routine. xD I love how they're doing everything they can to avoid saying "Neverending".

Cherub Key && Canadian Campfire Spookems poster ==> Huh! This combination doesn't work! Looks like they forgot to implement that one? Eh, oh well. :P

Tap Shoes && Canadian Campfire Spookems poster ==> JOEY CLAIRE, EXTRAORDINAIRE. It even fucking rhymes, that is amazing. (Also there goes Joey again with her cute little dance)

Batteries & Acorn's Shadow poster ==> Eldritch, you say? Hopefully not the kind of eldritch I'm thinking of here. 0_0

Cherub Key && Acorn's Shadow poster ==> Ahahaha, looks like the episodes of this cartoon were 22 minutes long.

Diary Key && Acorn's Shadow poster ==> 17 seasons??? Wow, looks like it's a popular cartoon. Possibly even rivalizing the Squiddles cartoon? :mspa:

Tap shoes && Acorn's Shadow poster ==> Galloping green flames??? Is... is that a reference to the destructive fires Bec and Jack Noir have caused in the comic? Well... at least they weren't part horse. :mspa:

Oh wow, we hadn't noticed yet that we could click on the Connect Four game!

Welp, looks like Joey's good at beating Jude at games (or at least she believes she is). Is she as good at beating him as Calliope was at beating Caliborn? :P

Diary key && Connect Four ==> Pfff, a diary working like a Connect Four game. That kind of reminds me of Fetch Modi. Now imagine a Connect Four Fetch Modus, oh dear god.

Batteries && Diary ==> Electronic diaries, such a preposterous idea, am i right? :mspa:

Batteries && Ms. Claire picture ==> Why do we get so much sadstuck when examining this picture. :(

Cherub Key && Magical Companions Heal Force poster ==> If I were you Joey I wouldn't be trusting that Cherub Key for one bit, and I'm not just saying that because of what is going to happen pretty soon. 0_0

Tap shoes && Magical Companions Heal Force poster ==> Deer hooves, oh my god. Well, NEVERMIND THEN.

Batteries && Bounty Hunter poster ==> I assume Energy Tanks is also a reference to Metroid? :P

Tap dance && Bounty Hunter poster ==> "Turn into a ball in mid-air" METROID REFERENCE CONFIRMED.

Cherub Key && Star Avenue poster ==> Oh wow, Ms. Claire knew Ginger Rogers! That's interesting! It reminds me of how Poppop also met some interesting and famous people in his life and became one himself. And B2 Dave and B2 Rose too of course, like plainWonder pointed out! They knew some famous people too (and were famous themselves).

The Homestuck/Hiveswap Kids sure do have a lot famous family members or family members knowing famous people, haha.

Diary Key && Star Avenue poster ==> I like that Ginger: My Story is also an actual book, of 1991. What Pumpkin sure did a lot of research for this game, I really like what they've done!

Cherub Key && Block Hustle poster ==> L-shaped object??? Oh god, she's right. The key DOES sort of look like an L, just like the first letter of Lord English's name. Oh my fucking god.

Diary Key && Block Hustle poster ==> Hahah, yes, too bad Youtube didn't exist yet to search the song and then practice your routine. And I agree actually, the Tetris song is really catchy and would probably be really cool for a dance! Also, yup, a little slip up there with accidentally writing Tetris instead of Block Hustle.

Batteries && Bubsy Poster ==> Hehe, this description makes me think even more of Sonic the Hedgehog.

Cherub Key && Bubsy Poster ==> She really doesn't like Bubsy, does she? xD

Diary Key && Bubsy poster ==> Heh, that reminds me of what John said about one of his posters, about meaning to take it down because he didn't like it that much.

Batteries && Second Mom poster ==> "Believe me, you've tried" N'awwww

Cherub Key && Second Mom poster ==> Oh hell fricking yes, a reference to Ness' yoyo! (also... yoyo kinda makes me think of juju...)

Diary Key && Second Mom poster ==> Huh, that's a pretty original way of saving your game. Also, unexpected sadstuck is unexpected. :(

Batteries && Game controller ==> And maybe they aren't even the proper size of batteries anyway. :P

Diary Key && Game controller ==> Getting a bit close to the Fourth Wall there, aren't we? ;D

Diary Key && Game console ==> Oh man, I like that this comes with a sweet little animation as well, to show her reaching down to jab the diary key at the console!

Cherub Key && TV ==> OH GOD I'M DYING BECAUSE OF THIS ADORABLE ANIMATION. Joey is just so incredibly cute no matter what she's doing.

Tap Shoes && TV ==> I'm sure Joey would LOVE the Wii Console, to be capable of using wireless controllers and moving/dancing around while playing her games!

Cherub Key && Bean Bag ==> Wait a second... so Mom visited the attic to retrieve these bean bags and place them all over the house! That's really interesting to know that she's already been up there, meaning she might also be aware of the mysterious device up there that Joey will eventually use to go to Alternia!

Batteries && Sir Bappy Pawswatter ==> Oh dear god, I didn't expect those things ran on batteries. Good thing Jade never found out about that, or at least already removed the batteries. xD

Suddenly realized we could also combine items with the ceiling!

Cherub Key && Ceiling ==> ...That is not the right description. xD Looks like that's the description for Cherub Key && Walkie Talkie.

Diary Key && Ceiling ==> Oh wow, so Ms. Claire painted that when Joey was still a baby! ...Come to think of it, how old was Joey when Ms. Claire died? Was she still a baby when Ms. Claire died or not? Because if she was, I think there's a high chance Jude is NOT her son, which is an idea I've been playing around with already (what with their different surnames and all). If so, the question beckons who IS his mother.

Cherub Key && Animal posters ==> That is indeed the cutest idea ever. Even if they don't get any actual gifts from them, at least they still get some nice licks from them. :P

Batteries && Wardrobe ==> Indeed, and her wardrobe doesn't need batteries either, seeing as it's not a Wardrobifier. :P

Cherub Key && Junior Veterinarian Medkit ==> NO SHIT that it doesn't work like that. xD

Tap Dancer && Junior Veterinarian Medkit ==> Oh okay, so she IS still debating on which profession she would like to have in the future! I wonder if her experiences in this adventure will help her make a choice? Maybe... maybe we'll even be able to INFLUENCE which one she will eventually choose? Like, I could see it happening that she'll take care of Dammek's Lusus at some point perhaps, maybe it will get hurt or something. Not sure how her dancing skills would come into play (other than as fighting skill), but it could happen!

Or maybe it will even depend on how you play the game in general: do you take a more aggressive stance against enemies, fighting them with your dance skills, or do you instead go for a more passive route and take care of the wounded and such?

That would be interesting!

Batteries && Clarissa poster ==> GIRL POWER. Why am I suddenly reminded of Game Grl. :P

Diary Key && Clarissa poster ==> So Clarissa ended a month ago, and next day a new episode of Alex Mack would come out about dancing? *looks it up* Yep, all true facts! God I just love how much effort they've put into this.

Batteries && Bed ==> Ahahaha, that reminds me of how Jade tried to sneak past the fireplace in order to sneak by Grandpa, hehe. And yeah, Parker Brothers! That rings a bell to me, a pretty famous company for making board games I believe *looks it up* Yep, they are!

Batteries & Puppy Surprise ==> Exactly what I was thinking just before doing this combination. 0_0

Diary Key && Puppy Surprise ==> Oh wow, we can put the diary key back into the Puppy Surprise! That makes me seem like that is indeed what happened after we tried writing into the diary last time. Hehe, let's retrieve the key for now and try that out in a few seconds.

*few seconds later*

So, the Diary Key indeed went back into the Puppy Surprise! But sadly, we can't retrieve the key anymore afterwards.

Alright, let's reload the game so we can hang onto the key for a while longer.

Batteries && Toys on shelf ==> Grandpa gave shotguns to Jude, seriously? ...On the other hand, I really shouldn't be surprised. This is Grandpa/Jake we're talking about, after all. :mspa:

Cherub Key && Toys on shelf ==> Welp... literally a baby. That confirms that I guess. Poor Joey, she really grew up without a mom for the most part. :(

I guess like how all Kids and Trolls seem to grow up with no or only one Guardian around.

Tap shoes && Book shelf ==> Oh yeah, I totally forgot about how for a long time a lot of people didn't consider tap-dancing an actual dance, I believe I've heard that somewhere before.

Diary/Cherub Key && Ballerina figure ==> WELP, that gives the same narration as diary key && Cherub key.

Cherub Key && Wizard glass ball ==> Haha, that reminds me of all the discussions in Homestuck on what is or isn't magic, and also the magical properties of wizards.

Tap shoes && Wizard glass ball ==> I love how there are so many combinations of the tap shoes with another item that cause her to just make a dance.

Tap shoes && Oven ==> Lukewarm-steppin', PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Batteries & Skaianet Calendar ==> OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH, so THAT is the context of that picture! So apparently Skaianet isn't "just" a science company that was sneakily behind Sburb, but is actually a videogame company!!! Huh, I definitely didn't expect that! Now that picture suddenly makes a lot more sense, with them all being videogame figures.

Also, that gives a whole new context to Mom working for Skaianet! I always figured she just did it because she was into science, but the fact that they're actually actively making videogames makes a lot of sense too because we know Roxy is so into videogames!!!

Wow.

That's definitely a cool mystery that just got solved!

Tap shoes && Skaianet Calendar ==> Oh shit! Alright, so that's confirmation that she is still in fact babysitting them and that it's not a thing from the past. Also, she's got a driving license! I guess it makes sense because she's probably... somewhere around 20 years old? Give or take a few years in either direction.

And like plainWonder said, that gives a REALLY interesting deadline for Joey to either return from Alternia or for Mom to notice something's up! Because 11/11/1994 is a Friday evening, which means that in the morning of the next day Mom should be coming!!!

Hmm... will Joey come back so quickly from Alternia??? Or are we going to get a surprise appearance from Mom in Hauntswitch or maybe even the end of Hiveswap???

Oh god I'd be so excited if she will physically appear in one of these games!

Diary Key && Other Animal posters ==> Wait, the same company made the diary and those posters? Now I'm pretty curious what the name of that company is, haha.

Cherub Key && Other Animal posters ==> Well, there's my answer apparently! :mspa: L.F. is the name... looks like that might be a fictional one! Or maybe just an abbreviation of a real one, to avoid copyright issues.

Okay, now it's time to start doing some more (possibly) plot relevant/impactful things!

Let's examine the computer and see what that does...

...Ahahaha, some cheap Windows rip-off, of course.

Welp, she's not going to actually do something on her computer. That's too bad, I wanted to see her surf to www.mspaintadventures.com and see what her browser is. xD

What with how she mentions keeping up with a bunch of different websites, that reminds me of how Bro's Completely Bullshit thing that helped him keep track of a bunch of different websites.

Heh, apparently we can't turn the computer back off again! That's such a waste of electricity. :P

Tap shoes && Computer ==> Ahahahaha, tapping the keys VS tapping her keys. I love What Pumpkin.

Let's see what happens if we try to leave Joey's room! She probably won't want to do it, because of the monster outside.

....Yup, that's indeed the case! She wants to warn Jude! Looks like we'll have to use the walkie talkie here, and thus put the batteries in. Which kinda surprises me that we "have" to do this, I thought I saw in concept art somewhere that she had the batteries in her inventory somewhere else? So can we remove them from the walkie talkie again or something?

But first, let's look out the window!

Oh yes, it's this view of the garden, like from the concept art!

....N'AWWWWWWWWWWW. I was about to say: "Hey, where's Tesseract? I don't see him!" when suddenly he popped out of the dog house. D'awww, so scared. :(

Hey, that stone structure by the wall there, the head kind of looks like a Mother Grub! That's a bit suspicious...

Also, that bush there. It looks a lot like the snakey monster chasing Joey! That's also really suspicious, are these monsters "known" around here? Or at least by Grandpa or something?

Let's see what we can interact with here...

Okay, so she calls the fountain Skull Fountain! ....Yup, still making me think of the Mother Grub there. :P

Poor, POOR puppy! I wonder if there's something Joey and/or Jude can do to make Tesseract come out, or if that's something that will only happen in Hauntswitch?

Welp, I hadn't really thought yet about the fact that Joey had only seen ONE of these monsters yet! She didn't know there's going to be a whole bunch of them, yikes.

Oh boy, now the tree hut...

Pffff, so Jude considers it his "mission control room". In other words, he probably treats it more like 'his' room than his actual room. :P

And apparently Joey hasn't been up there yet! Hmm, interesting. I wonder if there are many things that Jude keeps there that Joey isn't aware about?

Alright, so nothing else happens here when examining the tree hut. Looks like we'll be needing to use the walkie talkie to make progress!

But before we do, let's first use some items on this window...

Batteries && Window ==> Ahahaha, too bad they didn't make a stab at the fenestrated windows like plainWonder suggested. That's a missed opportunity. :P

Cherub Key && Window ==> Precious window, ahahahaha!

And now... time for the walkie talkie! Let's finally make some progress in this shit. xD

Oh god... we apparently put the walkie talkie in our inventory as well! Which means... before we use the batteries on it, we got a whole new bunch of combinations to try out with all the different items in the room here.

Nope, progress will have to wait a bit longer. :mspa:

Walkie Talkie && Cherub Key ==> Wouldn't that be cool, a walkie talkie that runs on tap dancing? xD

Walkie Talkie && Skaianet Calendar ==> Pffff, it would be pretty funny if when we establish communication with Jude he immediately makes a remark like this. Plus, it would also be funny if we will actually see Joey's calendar from his perspective in the tree hut.

Walkie Talkie && Oven ==> And sadly, the walkie talkie doesn't run on microwaves either. :P

Walkie Talkie && Toy shelf ==> SHELF BUDDIES. TREE BROTHER. Oh hell yes.

Walkie Talkie && Bed ==> Now this is an especially interesting piece of narration! First of all, Joey apparently also aspires to be a webmaster! Secondly, it's pretty interesting how this also gives some new information because we've already got the batteries!

Also goddammit yeah I can understand why Joey removed the batteries out of the walkie talkie, haha.

Walkie Talkie && Computer ==> Pffff, yes, unfortunately USB cables don't exist yet and as far as I'm aware there are no walkie talkies with USB ports. :P

Walkie Talkie && Game Controllers ==> Pff, so maybe those batteries WERE actually of the right type to be used for the walkie talkie but she just simply doesn't want to take them out of the controllers, haha.

Walkie Talkie && Game Console ==> Whoops, another slip-up there, referring to Mother 2! Heh, so apparently the Famicon had such a special voice feature then?

Walkie Talkie && Bubsy poster ==> He can stay quiet, so that's probably why that SHH sticker is on the poster. xD

Walkie Talkie && Block Hustle poster ==> Incredibly lame pun is incredibly lame. :mspa:

Walkie Talkie && Connect Four ==> Ha, that reminds me of Calliope and Caliborn's chess game, with Caliborn seemingly making bad strategic decisions but actually just luring Calliope into a trap.

Walkie Talkie && Canadian Campfire Spook-ems poster ==> I'd laugh if this is exactly what happens on Alternia with Joey somehow being capable of communicating with Xefros through the walkie talkie. xD

Walkie Talkie && Acorn's Shadow poster ==> It would always make Acorn uncomfortable when her shadow would just stand there... and watch.

Walkie Talkie && Magical Companions Heal Force poster ==> Pffff, wouldn't that be convenient if Joey could just do that.

"the deer is her brother"

...

0_0

MOVIN' ON.

Oh wow, we only just noticed that we can also use items on Joey's dresser!

Walkie Talkie && Ms. Claire picture ==> MY FEELS. D: How great would it be if she could talk to her through walkie talkie... That reminds me actually of the movie Frequency, where a father and son communicate through time just through a radio.

Walkie Talkie && Diary ==> THE BEST. SIMPLY THE BEST. I love the reference to the memos of the Trolls and all Karkat's discussions of past self VS present self VS future self, hahahaha!

Oh dear god we only just noticed that the disabled hint function gives a different message every time! We'd only pressed it one time.

I love how he just becomes increasinly meta as we keep on clicking it, kind of like in [S] YOU THERE BOY with continuously clicking on John.

And he just keeps on sounding more like the in-comic Andrew, hahahaha.

But... plainWonder's right. As we go on, he progressively sounds more and more like Doc Scratch. I mean... allotting time to 'talk' to us, being smug about being intelligent... This is kind of suspicious.

I highly doubt it's Doc Scratch, that it's just meant to be the narrator, but... HMMMMMMMMM

Okay, we've reached the end of it. Now it just keeps on repeating that the hint function is unavailable. xD

Anyway, that's all for today! It's 8:15 PM now.

I'm pretty happy that we've just about finished up with the actual introduction of the game (LOL, that took long enough, like, 6-7 hours of gameplay so far holy shit), and can now get diving into more of the actual plot. xD

#Homestuck #Hiveswap #reaction #liveblog #Hiveswap liveblog #Joey #Jude #Tesseract #Grandpa #Ms. Claire #Mom #Skaianet

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survivedeadsea · 7 years

Text

John’s Jury Questions

Hello final 2!! Congrats on making it to the spot that all of us ultimately wanted to make it to. Usually when I end up on the jury I am bitter and set on my vote. This time around I have the unique experience of having the two people I worked the closest with in the final 2. Alex, you and I bonded the very first night and I knew I could trust you when you immediately tried to give me the extra vote we all received LOL. After going on calls and talking every day our friendship became very sincere. We always knew we were on the bottom of something, and we continued to play from the bottom once the merge hit. You're a beast and it was amazing to get to know you. Despite what the jury may have to say to you, I know you are not a hateful person. Luke, you and I also bonded from the beginning of the game in LOHM and then our mess of a swapped tribe. We had some amazing times of you falling asleep without voting and struggling to keep ourselves alive and I was ready to be loyal to you. When we merged you did tell me about the big alliance and we got to work with each other without technically being on the same side. It was messy and we lied to each other a lot, but when it came down to it I was not going to make a move against you. I am not bitter that you voted me out anymore, still love you and am proud of you for making it to the end despite humiliating me by MAKING ME PLAY TETRIS AKDBSOSH.

So that was kinda just a rant but whatever I have a few questions for both of you. 1. Forget big moves. What subtle moves would you say you made to get yourself here? 2. Please write a 5 paragraph essay on why you love me ty

Alex’s Response:

John, I bonded with you in this game like no other and this is a friendship I'm holding very dear. I never found myself in a situation where I'm willing to risk my own chances to win a game so a friend of mine can win, and that was a feeling I had throughout this entire game. You deserved it way more than me, and the only thing standing in your way was that tiebreaker challenge. A few years ago I won a game almost unanimously after winning a tiebreaker at final 4, and by that time I sucked at flash games. It took me years to get better and figure out strategies to do them more effectively, but this is an important part of ORGs. I just want to say, you will definitely win Survivor games in the future, don't let this experience make you have any doubts about yourself or your ability to win challenges.

To your questions:

1. I think my most effective subtle move was faking my long idol hunt at final 8. Immediately after I did that, Jay messaged me asking "how was the puzzle?". She openly said the round after she's certain I have an idol, another round later Ruthie asked me directly if I have an idol. I have no doubt that this move worked and created the perception that I found one, however I still consider it a subtle move because it didn't have a big impact on the game in retrospect.

You did find an idol right after, but nobody even paid attention to the fact you were gone for two hours because everyone were so focused on me. So in a way, this move helped you hide your idol too.

2. I'd expect no other question from you <3 I think you know most of the reasons already but I'll try to surprise you anyway ;)

Well, where do I begin?

What probably sets you apart the most from other people I've worked and bonded with in ORGs, is the fact you're American. It might sound like the most trivial and irrelevant thing ever, but for someone like me who isn't a native English speaker and has little to no clue about how life in the states are, it is very difficult to find Americans relatable. I always try to initiate conversations that go beyond geographical and cultural boundaries to connect with people, and while I've been able to do it pretty easily with Europeans (non-UK) and Asians, Americans have always been a tough cookie. It's a huge hurdle if you want to establish a strong social game in a predominantly American community of players, and the fact that it played no role whatsoever in my relationship with you is an evidence to how open and flexible you can be with people from different backgrounds.

Your other best asset in my opinion is your sense of humor, lightheartedness and goofiness. You always had some funny story for every situation which you weren't embarrassed to share, you cared very little what other people might think about you, you never held grudges against anyone or seemed to have any strong negative feelings despite the many frustrating situations this game has faced you with. This carefree and mature attitude was easily charming, and it made me want you to stick around no matter what, because the game would not have been fun at all if you weren't here.

Lastly, and most importantly, you gave me what most people I met in this game didn't give me – a chance. And I know, some of them are saying now that they actually wanted to work with me, but it was me who isolated myself and mistreated them. I think you more than anyone know the truth, how badly I tried to socialize with people and how poorly were these attempts often received, because you had more or less the same experience (you just have more patience than me I guess).

You always said "yes, it's like that. These people are hard to talk to, I know what you're talking about". I think I had pretty good awareness of how much each person cared about me or was willing to put effort with me, my expectations were different. I've played in communities where the social game is different, and it was comforting to have you reassure me of my perspectives, even though you thought I'm a newbie.

Luke’s Response:

Ahhhh! I'm sorry for making you play Tetris, I'm sure you definitely hate that game now thanks to me so I truly am sorry! Okay so your first question asks about the subtle moves that I made that helped me get to the end. I'm not entirely sure that I made all that many "subtle" moves rather than just sit back and observe what was going on in the tribes that I was placed on and who was friends with him. A subtle move that I did make was telling you and Sam to vote for me during the round that I played my idol so that the other players (Ruthie, Zach and Nicholas) had no suspicions about us coming into the merge. I really think that this helped you and I especially because people didn't put his together as two people that were ever working together which is why I think you were left out of the alliance that was formed at the beginning of the merge. People assumed I was on the outs thanks to that one move.

My Essay of Love for John Coffey by Luke Blackmore: Wow....John Coffey and I first met at the beginning of Dead Sea. I knew immediately that I wanted to align with you because of your friendship with my loving wife and cat mom, Amanda Dandelion Cappuccino (I'm still feeling the repercussions from her about voting you out!). You added me on Facebook mid-way through this game and became my 727th friend which is a big milestone because 727 AKA 7/27 AKA Fifth Harmony's iconic album is my favourite thing. Working together in this game with you was incredible because we worked really well together which is good because when I inevitably propose to you when I get drunk next week, at least you know we'll be able to work together well ;). I'm totally kidding...unless of course you want to get married because in that case I'm on my way. I've never been really good at writing essays, evidenced by the fact that I've been putting off doing one for around a month now but oops, I have plenty of time to do that, this essay is more important.

I could rant for hours and hours about your eyes...or your hair...or your face...or your...coffey cakes (heh) but you already know that you're pretty so let's turn our attention to your love of dancing around and singing on Snapchat because honestly? My entertainment. You told the tribe one day that you were listening to a Swedish (i think?) boy band and you didn't understand the words to the song but it was still a bop and that you'd been dancing around to it all day and I thought to myself "huh...that is such a John Coffey thing to do, what a wonderful man"! I think you're purely an incredible person and I'm really glad we met in this game. I love that this is basically just a chance to kiss your ass and boost your ego so I hope I did a good job hehe. Much love!

#saltyaf

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