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fruity-phrog · 10 months

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Okay, I saw someone say that Nimona, while being good representation, “didn’t take the big step forward in queer rep that everyone says it did”.

That is wrong. So wrong, my dude.

Yes, an explicit and open queer relationship in children’s cartoons is not new, per ce. Hell, just this year, two popular kids’ cartoons had the main character in an open, adorable, plot-based queer romance. But this is different for a few reasons.

Reason number one, it isn’t left in suspense. Yes, they had that split for three odd weeks, but they started the film as a couple. One of the very first scenes is them together as a couple, Ambrosius saying he loves Ballister, them holding hands, Ballister leaning on Ambrosius’ shoulder. Ambrosius says he loves Ballister three times during the film, and none of them are any more than halfway in. It’s very clear, from their very first interaction, that they are an established relationship, which isn’t something I’ve seen...at all in other animation.

Secondly, they are the plot. Ambrosius not believing Ballister, Ambrosius cutting off Ballister’s arm, Ballister trying to get the video to Ambrosius - this is what drives the plot. In any other children’s animation with queer relationships, the relationship is not the main focus. Even The Owl House, which is so amazing with its constant representation, would still make sense if Luz and Amity never happened. But Nimona’s plot wouldn’t make sense without Ballister and Ambrosius’ relationship. It, quite simply, can’t be erased. It could work as a friendship, yes, but that’s the point. They could have just been two close friends that fell on opposite sides of a fight, but they weren’t. They were two lovers that fell on opposite sides of a fight.

Thirdly, they aren’t sanitized for “family viewing”. An emerging trend in children’s animation is to only have mlm relationships as fathers to make them seem more “family friendly”. With the exception of Kipo, there really isn’t many tv shows or films that places light upon an mlm relationship. And if it does, it'll be a teen relationship because teenagers being queer tends to come across as less “dirty” and more “innocent”. But Goldenheart is none of these things. They are adults without the mollifying aspect of having a family. And on top of that, they fight. They wield swords and they get bloody and they shoot at things and get angry and yell. They aren’t “clean” and “innocent”.

As well as this, they are in a film. Films are far more accessible than tv shows. You have to watch twenty seven episodes before Lumity in toh is canon. Troy kisses Benson on the eleventh episode of Kipo. And there are two hundred and eighty three episodes of Adventure Time before Marceline and Bonnie kiss. But with a film, the queerness is much more forward - especially in Nimona, where it’s literally the second scene. Animated films hardly ever display queer relationships, but Nimona did.

Finally - they aren’t perfect. I don’t know about you, but three weeks of thinking your boyfriend/maybe ex is a murderer? Doesn’t sound like a healthy few weeks to me. I have only seen big relationship arguments portrayed in straight relationships in cartoons - think Star Vs The Forces Of Evil - whereas queer relationships either have the massive fight prior to being canonically gay - She Ra - or have conflict, not arguments, that are dealt with quickly - Dead End/The Owl House. But Goldenheart? Goldenheart suffers. Their relationship is pushed to such extreme boundaries as for them to be pretty much exes throughout most of the movie. And yet, they are clearly healthy, happy and very much in love at the end.

TL;DR - Nimona is amazing with the queer representation, and it is a milestone for LGBTQ+ cartoons. Not only is the relationship romantic for the entire movie, the plot is driven by Ambrosius and Ballister’s sort-of-break-up. In short, they are treated the same way straight people are. They have flaws, they have massive arguments, they have plot importance, they have backstory. They are in love. And that’s what matters more than anything else.

#cedar crap #wow I didn't mean for this to be so long #nimona #nimona netflix #queer rep in media #queer rep in animation #goldenheart #ballister boldheart #ballister blackheart #ambrosius goldenloin #and I didn't even touch on the blatant queer flags in the background

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estoyeepy · 2 years

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@scorpiathevirgo thinks thoughts: gender edition

some relevant context: i'm afab, sapphic and identify as a woman. i'm quite possibly neurodivergent (though admittedly undiagnosed, but i think it's pretty likely), which could provide an explanation for my experiences and my feelings on the matter

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When thinking about my own gender, the first thing I concluded is that I see two types of "gender":

The first one is basically what you see yourself / identify as (the commonly accepted definition of "gender"). In my case, I see myself as a woman on the basis that my body is female, that my experiences are often affected by that fact, and I wouldn't change that. my gender matches my biological sex, which would make me cis. I'll call this one "mental gender" for the sake of this post.

The second one is one I'll call "social gender". It's basically more about the role you play in society, which therefore affects how others perceive you. In my case, I was never really close with people of either gender in school. I was a girl, so I obviously wasn't one of the boys. But the girls didn't really consider me one of them, either. I dunno how to explain this, so I'll leave screenshots of a Reddit thread I stumbled upon, as well as a TikTok someone posted on Instagram.

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Context for screenshots: The original post was a screenshot of a Tumblr post from a trans man. He describes how women generally felt safe around him pre-transition because they perceived him as one of their own, but he noticed that women now act more distant from him now that he passes as a man, perhaps because they see him as a threat(?). I don't completely remember the post, as I'd have to look for it. I'll leave credit here if I ever find the post.

UPDATE: Anna Akana made this video the other day discussing the Tumblr post in question: https://youtu.be/nNME0cloyyM

youtube

Although these people's experiences vary slightly based on their gender and cultural circumstances, I relate heavily to them (especially u/iveroi and u/hipster_doofus_ , as well as u/AnIndianGuy38's point about same-gender people not engaging in platonic intimacy with him).

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Credits for video: Original video by @/mariatheflowerchild28 on TikTok; reposted by @/actuallyautistictiktoks on Instagram.

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CcdtmKTAiRf/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

This one is pretty self-explanatory. She basically described my relationship with femininity (except the overweight and bullying parts). I cut my hair short a few years back though, which makes me look more androgynous, which in turn plays yet another part in this sort of exclusion from femininity. I know it's not quite the same thing as fatphobia, but you get my point. Also, while my interests often aligned more closely with those of the guys I knew, I wasn't really particularly close with them, either. And that line about "not having the right to participate in femininity"... that hit hard. Although I often switch between presenting more femininely and more masculine/neutral (and genuinely like doing both), I still feel "not feminine enough" when I present fem. In part because of the hair, but also because of the role I've played to everyone else in society, which was "not one of us women". Womanhood should be my birthright as a woman, but I feel like I'm often denied that right, whether that's because of circumstances out of my control (the neurodivergence, to an extent my queerness), or as a result of my leaning into being in this "other" category (the haircut and masc/neutral presentation).

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Given these circumstances, that makes my "social gender" something along the lines of genderqueer: too female for maleness, and not woman enough for womanhood. Depending on what type of gender you look at, I'm either a "cis woman" (physically and mentally/psychologically) or a "genderqueer/nonbinary woman" (socially).

As for pronouns and gendered terms, I go mainly by she/her (ella/la in Spanish) and prefer feminine language (daughter/hija, girlfriend/novia/jeva, etc.), although I don't mind (and actually kinda like) they/them and neutral terms.

#lgbtq #lgbt #queer #sapphic #traditional gender roles #gender stuff #gender presentation #pronouns #neurodivergent #neurodivergence #womanhood #woman #genderqueer #nonbinary #ramblings #wow i didn't mean for this to be so long #Youtube

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tiredmamaissy · 1 year

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so how do you feel ab cockwarming 😗😗 and if it’s a yes from you, what would cockwarming be like with neteyam? 🤭

would you believe if i said that i had to look this up? loool but yes.

neteyam is the kind of guy that wants to feel as close to you as he possibly can, at all times. always touching you in someway, whether it's a simple stroke of your tail or a pat on your thigh, he craves nothing more than your constant company. at night he would press his warm, bare body against yours in bed, intertwining his legs with yours to get as close as he can with you. tsaheylu would play an important role in your bedtime routine, always being made right before you both fall asleep. it's the ultimate way to bond with one another, to feel as connected as possible. until one night, a thought would pop up in his head, innocently at first. a new way to feel more connected - to bond. what if he just slid it in? nothing more, nothing less. to be inside you is to be close to you, so why not? of course you'd hear his thoughts through the bond, seeing the image of him sinking his cock inside you until his tip kisses your cervix, and staying there whilst he snuggles his face into the crook of your neck. you wouldn't be able to deny the way it made you feel, to see such lewd thoughts so innocently displayed. he'd never outwardly ask for it though, it's just the gentleman in him. most of his lewd thoughts and ideas remain unsuggested in the case that you wouldn't be comfortable with him, and he's more than happy to just do whatever you wanted.

"go ahead, teyam." you'd whisper, backing yourself up onto him.

he'd be surprised, tsaheylu being such a regular part of your nightly routine that he'd forget that you could hear his every thought and feel his every desire.

"hm?" he'd hum, confused and groggy.

"you can put it inside me, i don't mind." you'd reassure him, reaching behind you to do it yourself.

just as he'd imagined, he'd bury his hot face into the dip of your neck, inhaling your scent as he slides himself inside you.

#wow i didn't mean for this to be so long i was just typing away #not proof read because i'm so tired rn and balls deep in a fic #neteyam smut #neteyam sully smut #awow smut #avatar smut

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licorishh · 15 days

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Replayed Modern Warfare 3 2011 on Veteran tonight and goooooooood night. Blood Brothers never gets any easier to watch no matter how many times you've done it and the ending really never misses huh

I apologize for the amount of yapping in the tags I reread it all on mobile and started giggling because it went on for so long but eh. Blessed are those who won't shut the freak up and all that

#call of duty #modern warfare 3 2011 #i just. wow. wow wow wow wow wow #i've played these three games so many times over the last several years and i just.#they literally. never get old.#loose ends and blood brothers will never not make me cry and endgame and dust to dust will never not make me smile so hard #ending it with price smoking the cigar like he did in the first mission in the first game wHEN HE FIRST MET SOAP JUST UGHHHHHH.#i know y'all don't care but i don't care that y'all don't care i could literally yap about this until i shrivel up and die #i have never ever ever in my LIFE seen poetic justice played out so beautifully like it is at the very end #JUST. WOW. WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW. WOW WOW. WOW #they do not frickin make games like that anymore DADGUM #i also forgot how frickin sad down the rabbit hole is?? like jeez louise they didn't have much screen time but gosh #i also have never in my life heard such gut-wrenching anguish from a grown man in my life like price in that one scene #I KNOW Y'ALL KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT THAT MAN MAKES ME FULL ON S O B IN THAT PART HE HAD NO BUSINESS #anyway i'll keep cutely living in denial and pretending literally any of the main characters besides price and nikolai are fine <3 #foley and dunn and their team seemed just fine at the end of modern warfare 2 so i will accept that small mercy #at this point these games have taken everything else i love away from me so #y'all probably think i'm wild for how insane i get over these games but the nostalgia bit is a big part of it as well #like they're honestly in my opinion genuinely the greatest video games of all time #but the fact that i have that connection with my dad makes it so special #crazy cause he said he also cried in blood brothers and my dad is 54 and i have seen him cry one (1) other time in my entire life #heck infinity ward but also bless them i hope the devs live long beautiful wonderful prosperous delightful exciting fulfilling lives #Lord bless them and their entire bloodline for the contributions they have made to humanity not even joking #AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FREAKING SOUNDTRACKS DO NOT GO THERE OAUSYDJAKAKDN #MW2 AND MW3 CREDITS. EXTRACTION POINT. COUP DE GRACE. RETREAT AND REVEILLE. CONTINGENCY. PARIS SIEGE. PRAGUE HOSTILITIES. RUSSIAN WARFARE.#UGHHHHHHHGHHHH everything about these games is so unbelievably perfect and immaculate #i have got to get over my art block NOWWWWWWWWWW #makarov is also the best villain i've ever seen idc bro he's frickin awesome #i mean obviously he's horrible and a disgustingly evil human being but as a character he's stupidly well-written

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drawawyvern · 2 years

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[I.D.: Our Flag Means Death Stede Bonnet stands on a rocky beach with a small rowboat in front of a sea and cloudy sunset. Stede is facing the sea and everything is shades of brown, orange, and yellow.]

#mine #Our Flag Means Death #ofmd #this didn't take too long in terms of hours but wow i spent so long on it #stede bonnet #rhys darby #my reference was that one promo photo #not gonna link it because tumblr :/#anyway i am happy with this :)#also shoutout to myself for posting on this blog!

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little-cereal-draws · 1 year

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Goldilocks and the three bears crime family au

This au focuses on Baby and Goldi and is based off the part in Shrek 1 where we see the three bears in separate cages and then Mama later as a rug (rip you already know what happened to her)

The three bears got caught in Farquaad's fairytale purge and got separated. Crying in that cage was the last time Baby saw his parents. He's not sure what happened to them, but he got sold off to a circus bc everyone likes seeing baby animals do tricks, it makes good money. While he was there, he met a little orphan girl who was about his age in human years, five or six. She was also picked up because she made lots of money; she sold candy to people in the stands. No one wants to turn down a little girl!

They became fast friends. Goldi would wiggle between the bars of his cage at night and whisper stories of people she saw in the crowd and things she could remember of her parents. She liked telling stories about them. Baby didn't like to think about his parents, it made him cry, so he just made little quiet noises and pressed their heads together. They would fall asleep curled up around each other.

Fast forward several years, they're both preteens and have moved up in the circus. Baby learned english and Gold learned quite a bit of bear. She lost her baby face and was useless at selling treats now; she was going to get replaced but she begged to stay. Baby knew that she hated it there and was constantly thinking of ways to escape so it was obvious the only reason she stayed was for him. The ringmaster noticed their connection and put them in an act together. Goldi did flips and cartwheels on his back while they ran around the ring. They also came up with a plan where before and after shows, they would stand outside the tent and people could pay to pet Baby's nose. The idea was to save the money and strike out on their own when they had enough. They may have reached this goal a bit quicker than they should have due to many wallets falling victim to Goldi's sticky fingers.

Finally, sixteen years old, they decide today is the day. Their act has become much more complicated now and involves hoops and fire and all sorts of nail-biting objects. Halfway through the act, Goldi grabs a torch and announces they have had enough of being other's playthings and they're going to live their own lives. Baby rises up to his full height and with Goldi on his shoulders, they set fire to the tent. It's panic, it's mayhem, it's screaming and trampling crowds and bearing teeth and not being scared of whips or chains or anything else in the world. It's pure freedom. They run out off the circus grounds before anyone can properly stop them, laughing and cheering the whole way.

Here's where it starts to tie into the movie again (dw i didn't forget abt that lol) After the initial euphoria wore off, they decided to be professional criminals. They do a bunch of small scale stuff but they're pretty recognizable so it's hard to hit the same place twice. When they learn about the map to the wishing star, they absolutely must have it. It's at this point that they start to drift apart a bit. Goldi says they'll use the wish but secretly wants it to get her parents back. Baby is suspicious, she does talk about her parents more and more these days, but can't prove anything so he just goes with it.

Eventually, it gets revealed that Goldi wants the wish for herself and Baby is furious. They have a huge fight where so many hurtful things are said. Goldi accuses him of not caring about his family enough to try and find them. Baby says that it's because he cares so much, he doesn't want to learn what horrible fate befell them. He then says that Goldi shouldn't even bother with hers bc they clearly didn't love her, just abandoning her in the woods as a child. They both leave that fight in tears. Splitting up was discussed but honestly, they don't have anyone else in the world so they're both too scared to swing it alone. They keep going after the map but don't talk for days. After a while, there's an apology; a quiet one that is only half spoken because they both know what the other is thinking.

Ofc at the end, they help destroy the map and the star because Goldi's learned that she has all the family she needs right here and Baby's learned that maybe he should make some effort to find his parents. Who knows, they could be alive. He is. He tentatively asks Puss if he knows what happened to his parents, because he was also involved in the roundup, and Puss has to break the horrible news about his mom. There's lots of tears but frankly, Baby kind've suspected.

They go their separate ways from Team Friendship at the end and the idea of trying to find Baby's dad is briefly kicked around as they walk into the sunset. (Setting up a sequel lol)

#wow i didn't mean for this to get so long #i just really REALLY love goldi and baby ok? (but mostly baby. he needs more love)#puss in boots #puss in boots the last wish #goldilocks #goldilocks and the three bears crime family #goldilocks and the three bears #baby bear

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running-in-the-dark · 2 months

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a super fun thing that my brain is really good at is hearing a random fact and remembering it forever. but only if it's bad :)

#the reason I'm thinking about that right now: I wish I had never read that having a crease on your earlobe means you're more likely to have #heart disease.#scared me so much that I read a whole paper about it #but it's been years now so I don't remember the details #just that that's a thing apparently #and guess what my brain does with that information? oh yeah of course I have to obsessively look at the ears of everyone now! does that #do anything helpful? nope! just makes me very very anxious :)#it's just like when I was a kid and I got nightmares about scurvy every time I didn't eat a potato for a week.#like. wow I could be so smart and everything if my brain wasn't constantly focused on random bullshit that is completely irrelevant 😭#also this thing specifically: I've always been weirdly fascinated by ears and this made that a million times worse and also very scary.#like ooh that's a nice ear :) oh no death exists and this person is going to die and #yeah it sucks.#specifically choosing not to mention any names in this context because my god this shit is on my mind all the time already I really don't #need to say it where anyone can see #it's embarrassing enough #though anyone who has looked at my blog in the past month already knows who I'm talking about.#like. I really shouldn't allow myself to like anyone over the age of like. idk 45.#it's so unbelievably exhausting.#but annnyway I'm totally normal and fine :)#oh yeah I also have creases on my earlobes lol so that definitely added to the scariness (and THEN my mother randomly mentioned recently #that EVERYONE on her side of the family had/has heart disease. bitch WHAT the fuck. anyway so yeah guess we know what's gonna kill me #haha isn't that fun :) )#ALSO the fact that my memory is very very bad means that I remember absolutely none of the details about shit like this. so it could very #well be completely irrelevant and harmless but i wouldn't remember that part.#and I think even if I found out more it wouldn't help. it's been an obsession for so long. I've never had one go away that I've had for #this long. so. guess I'm just fucked.#personal

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unproduciblesmackdown · 3 months

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take 4: the tension (gulf spanned with incomplete, continuously crumbling bridges) between the perspective of oneself as the Deservingly Epic Winner Protagonist Person who dares to be Out Of Line versus the need to actually completely stay in line within this b/c it hinges on being in harmony with the preexisting hierarchies which will supposedly reward the "merit" of this Actor. while everyone whose existence is Inferior, according to the hierarchies, is defined by being Out Of Line, which these same people resent & respond to, also Staying In Line with the hierarchy, by trying to reinforce the dynamics of these inferior / superior groupings. "everything pathologized about the inferior groups / rejected as what's Wrong with their existence so as to "cause" these dynamics is "take 4" b/c this is from me trying to write about winston quant kid 2 billions like holy shit a series operating on this logic huh, giving this unvarnished expression of this perspective b/c it's assuming (& requiring...) we all have it. winston is constantly responded to as Guy Who's Out Of Line. the "superior" parties who hate him & get to have him as their punching bag / hit with the butt of the joke / at least ignored & excluded, but taken advantage of, but who all have to Stay In Line, how's that going for them even when it comes to the writing, where characters can't do anything if it's too disruptive of the In Universe hierarchy, unless it's a finale zone for a permissable shakeup, where ppl insulating/supporting each other being a bit Out Of Line is not a problem b/c they individually recognize each other's transcendently True worthiness in thee objective hierarchy we all assume exists, but definitely can never disrupt the out of universe hierarchy, e.g. the show decides wendy is the true hero, b/c she deserves to be. taylor has to hire back dollar bill & stand back while wags & wendy take the lead & the spotlight & hate the autistic guy they hired & show up so the Winner, who was written into the show with nothing to do but tell taylor they're not quite as good as wendy & then provide a vagina amidst otherwise being an Everyemployee who fails to even differentiate from an Axe Cap style everyemployee, can announce their winningness detached from anything that actually happened ever.

counterpart to winston's departure needing an audience of people to stand there & stay in line, which on that side of the same coin meant punishing his Out Of Lineness that doesn't even act like anyone bothered to think of [this is one particular preexisting guy. you thought he liked scifi once before you lost interest in even suggesting he has interests, though, will roland likes scifi, will roland wore his own open buttonup as quant kid 2 that'd define the Look, will roland happened to have the facial hair just kept for production b/c who would care, will roland brought the entire je ne sais quoi acting interpretation that made quant kid 2 go from "out of line guy we kill once" to "out of line guy we keep around to kill all thee time until finale 'haha but seriously though' material means pushing him out of the way in s6 & then s7 alike" like hmm] like everyone just spitballed "annoying things! cringe loser things! things that would never happen to me, a deserving winner!!" & put it in as easter eggs as though that would even make sense, much less [you have no other priority?] but like. rian's sendoff didn't do any better for acting like she's a specific character who's said & done things we're meant to remember & have thought about then & now. taylor didn't get to have resolution with philip. they Had to have resolution with wendy that, again, has nothing to do with any/everything prior, except perhaps to contradict it. this is what anyone got for Staying In Line like superior winners. the autistic [annoying arrogant inferior undeserving etc] Out Of Lineness that would be so supposedly admired instead seen as pure Other shit that's projected upon ppl so as to Reject it thusly. couldn't be me!! i'm a winner who will always have Superior ranking in the hierarchy & treated accordingly!!! i Must be!!!! like i must Kill people who seem to be disrupting this, even by acting like a person who assumes they're equal to me despite being Different. there all along like wow winston existing Out Of Line is so powerful. he can harmonize with & support taylor so well b/c they're introduced as being so Out Of Line, up to the inevitable point of breaking out & starting their own thing entirely!!! but while it's like, okay yeah, you Have to reel them back in by thwarting them b/c otherwise they break so far from central men's orbit they exit the series or you have to put Them at the center (imagine...) (plus! the role winston plays in them getting as close to this as they ever can be!) but then in the end taylor's just shortchanged b/c when it comes time to take down a central man as thee main thing all season, series finale style, they should be knocking it out in a few episodes with sacker & philip. instead we focus on wendy given the helm & fucking around all season. after disposing of winston b/c who even needs him for anything, this is Stay In Line times, and to do that we can do nothing w/autistic people but hate them & punish them for being undeserving. but don't worry b/c he doesn't get to be so Out Of Line as to easily cause problems for them & thwart them, b/c he just doesn't. taylor waits around on wendy & tells her she's the best b/c they just do. we are all in line on all of this ourselves so whew, there's no Disruption to notice if that key Alignment is maintained. rian was never holding herself Above winston if we just really tentatively suggest she doesn't think that she was, while letting every double standard at play be acted out. rian being "out of line" was that she wasn't being aggressive enough about any of her Superiority, b/c if you didn't leave bruising then nothing was That Bad; cue the assaults and boundary violations Reserved for the inferior losers as fun times & nothing anyone is beholden to with Consequences, we don't even make the viewer stick with the consequences of how it affects the target a second too long, lest you start to think it's Drama & not Jokes.

anyways it's all about the [categorization as inferior Other based on an assumed Hierarchy = inherently defined as Out Of Line] all "why get a formal diagnosis from a professional who doesn't know what to look for when at age 5 my peers went 'something's wrong with this one' & acted 'accordingly'" like even when people "know" what's Wrong with someone to make them the odd one out / "incompatible" w/what makes others exist Right, it's time to interpret everything else about them as "backing that up" no matter what, certainly no matter if it involves theoretically Valued concepts, b/c it's all first & foremost Staying In Line with the hierarchy, where the correct way to do things is: if you Can push someone else into greater vulnerability while you're established as Insulated, you Do. tl;dr winston inherently continuously Out Of Line; being "superior" requires an ultimate (&/or also quite Immediate. especially when it comes to "simple" matters already "correctly" arranged in the supposed Objective Hierarchy, like: winston's "objectively" inferiority (autistic swag)) Staying In Line. and what comes of it. all the most engaging & complex shit when people get to not actually stay in line. the power of it if taylor & tmc & allies didn't have to ultimately be shoved into Staying In Line even when it means wendy is the best & oh who cares about taylor & philip when wags is around etc etc. if winston being someone Out Of Line was seen as relevant & not an easy nonstop joke. while a quant who is so In Line as to correctly personally abuse him even more than others are doing is so ""out of line"" as to decide she's already gotten everything she wants & may as well live the dream now, b/c she's not an aggressive man, one has to suppose, same diff as wendy getting to believe she's Better than everyone & is nobly in charge of orchestrating their fates when she Means & Knows so well, & is somehow pitted against prince being this same figure but without having to confront that fact. he's mean! or whatever. he's talking about killing people & wendy isn't so that sorts it out forever. "abuse your local autists; it's funny & their fault & consequenceless b/c they're not real people" is also harmonious with all our ideas. edgy rulebreaking bold independent Out of Line heroes completely in accord w/the established hierarchies. & those whose existence threatening peership disrupts it who are written off losers who could never upend those heroes' goings on. everyone Actually being peers is unimagineable, not as a figure of speech. we do not imagine it, what are you even talking about. now for the Merited Hierarchy to be acted out as arranged, which is fun, god i wish that were me. Independent Agents ascending it only!! & people who Cheat to get in like loser nerds w/their math, b/c they can't Deserve it. now to keep insisting that everyone else could just be On My Level if they tried, while also responding violently if it seems like weirdos / ppl who aren't Supposed to be here are infringing on my level (the only violence is physical strikes that made contact, & perhaps killed you)

anyways just another installment of [fake fans haunted by billions, & other things which are in real life, such as the fictional series billions] musings i have to excise at all b/c [this was take 4]. winston Out Of Line. superior correct winners who have to Stay In Line at related great costs despite the supposed associated wins of that. his autistic swag. knowing ppl Are different autism style b/c they're "out of line." encountering irl autistic people without realizing it & repeatedly writing "this nerd guy is just So annoying ugh!! he's just like weird & doing everything wrong for no reason & won't just Be Normal or Shut Up & Go Away!! but at least his intractible arrogant cluelessness also means we have fun punishing & taking advantage of him" Type butt of jokes into things. those cringe loser Insistently Annoying Weirdo nerds who we all find insufferable & punish, we all know them, inherent Inferior Other Out Of Line that they are. now it's a Guy we all hate & enjoy seeing suffer & Understand as a less deserving less [person] just dropped into the periphery of this fiction. he will easily be thwarted from an alliance with the [person designed to be Out of Line in a way that Is considered Legitimate] that would let them shatter the limits of the series in 5 sec which we're also holding them back by the scruff of the neck to prevent anyways while pushing forward ppl supposed to be even More correct b/c uh um they're a little more Normal, & perhaps even Women, who are innately more caring & gentle. there they go hurting those around them as much as they can, with nothing stopping them at all, but they're using their inside voices & not issuing physical threats so that's what i'm talking about. that is heroic, vs the villainous efforts to navigate life as though everyone will respect them as a fellow person which Autists egregiously pull, to which you can do anything you want to Reject this. maybe even decide you wanna personally use them. isn't that nice of you. no, we don't know what to do with the "this guy won't stop acting like he gets to think he's a person" but eventually send him away after the dozen trampled boundaries to punish him for fun b/c what else was the point of him? anyways don't worry i saw the autistic swag. the nonbinary swag it didn't even know was there. the nonbinary swag it knew was there but held back by the scruff of the neck b/c all billions' most engaging, potential filled characters are the ones Held Back b/c they're threatening too much [out of line] / their out of Lineness must be contained; vs everyone perfectly in line who keeps being pushed in front of them no matter what b/c uhhh.

let's go Out of Line gang. continual inevitable Disruption of the norm(tm). like even just standing there vs "oh immediately i fucking Hate this guy." billions where anyone considers winston for 5 sec would also shatter apart. taylor would be too powerful even more than they already are if they didn't have to stay wendy's sidekick no matter what. rian who didn't have to come back from the hiatus even more "right" than they presumably intended her to always be (bound to thee hierachy / actually always Staying In Line. if she's out of it, psych, actually that was just a correction of the "objective" hierarchal order waiting to reconfigure itself around the situation). standing around waiting like okay but the payoff that Could happen....okay still time though lol....well here we are

the fundamentalness of the Out Of Lineness. quantessential....send post

#another [mentally pacing while writing out the saga] moment #winston billions #it's all about the Out Of Line....#b/c it's all about the hierarchy; & the fact that it's People beneath you = forever being in conflict w/Reality being ''out of line''#this person talking & taking up space & breathing & Appearing & Behaving & Acting & [Autonomous]ing....no. no!!!!!!!#tmc just so happened to be Weird except also mafee is there but he's too not ''aggressive'' enough for axe cap. or is he!! not that much #all while even in peak tmc times....thee hierarchy! we Hate winston & Will all act accordingly to keep him inferior(tm)#we'll also use him. but not include him as a peer when we can help it. or even acknowledge a ''value'' for having found him Useful(tm)#just like wow really didn't think at all about winston besides [he IS out of line!!!]. ppl can do all That to him & not have it questioned #like hey so long as maybe you do it without....well they did also physically assault him in the end so really no limits obviously #the make or break context? his autistacity means well he deserves it from anyone #whereas if some of those ppl do some of those things to Winners w/the same goal to punish & hurt & coerce? hmm bit messed up #it's not double standards when you objectively buy into it right. if winston was a Good Enough Real Enough person we'd all Love him #however we just all immediately recognize a weird little autistic loser & that's all that is relevant forever somehow! hmm!#most ''out of line'' billions characters unleashed....we deserved this #what a coincidence that at the high points of this; like say; Kompenso; winston is treated the best!! 4x12!! Hmm!!!#irrelevant i said. nothing to see here like there's nothing inside him but Cringe Wrongness. scene over! series over! autists are Others #they power down in nooks & crannies & stop imitating Real People words & deeds when we're not looking so just do whatever #that Whatever means finding it rewarding to go after them & assert power=superior status over them? epic Normal shit. what else is there #rhetorical!! stop answering about like ''nobody's life & existence treated as Less''#but at what cost? oh so a really epic man can't like pwn people now?? perhaps an epic Woman? all cishet agenda style btw? hell

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quirkle2 · 2 years

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I actually want the scarf backstory.

(warnings in the tags)

ok so here's the sitch, the scarf will come eventually i promise

wars' entire life growing up in castle town was just . frankly shitty GVYEAGIV his family was decently wealthy and they easily had food on the table, but wars' father was a Dick and very much not a good parent

wars' mother on the other hand, was like . basically The World to him. in his little 8-year-old eyes she was Everything and he followed her around everywhere she went and he just adored her. she was always so gentle and patient w him and she made sure to teach him how to be kind above all else. she was the one who kept him from letting the arrogance and just,, general toxic behavior of a LOT of people in castle town influence him

she gives him a big orange scarf that she made at some point, just a little gift for when he's older and able to wear it, but he ends up adoring it so much that he wears it even when he's Tiny and gets very attached to it

his mother sadly passes from illness when wars is 8. him being a little guy and not knowing how to process grief in the slightest, he grasps at the only thing he has left of her and that's the scarf—it becomes a comfort item, smth he can't leave his own room without having it wrapped around him

his father starts training him when he's 9 in hopes of making him a soldier good enough to defend the kingdom. he grows up, doesn't make many friends, and eventually climbs the ranks until around the time his game begins. his father dies in battle before wars is even promoted to captain. all that hard work to make him proud, and he never sees him succeed

impa promotes him and hands him the blue scarf, and he's forced to discard his precious orange one in exchange for the Hero's garb. it feels heavy in his hands, heavy on his shoulders, and even though he's 18 when this happens, he's still far too young to rly understand the scope of what he's being dragged into

months later, he knows. he knows far too well why that scarf had felt so heavy on him when he'd first donned it

i'm sure u can guess where i'm goin w this, but all the Expectations and the High Standards and the Pressure of being the hero sorta just melds w the scarf in his mind, and when he puts that thing on, he feels all of it weigh on him

the people in his kingdom are Critical. they love him and they hate him and they praise him and they mock him and u know how being a Big Figure goes, right? every little thing he does is treated with both cheers and malice and usually, to him, the malice reaches much further

they ridicule him for just abt everything. he stands next to artemis as she's giving a speech, acting as her bodyguard—rly just there for show since he never says much during the parades and the announcements—and people in the crowd r making gestures at him, slitting-throat signs w their hands, yelling and mouthing death threats right at his face. when he returns from a long battle injured and beaten, they accuse him of being a poor choice for a war, not good enough of a fighter, not strong enough; when he returns uninjured, they claim he's slacking and letting his underlings take the hits instead

and during the war ? wars' life is just . ,,,so so bad in the mental health department. he's Completely alone. he lives by himself, he has no friends, and impa and artemis are more coworkers than they are companions, even if they claim to have his back. he's overworked until he can barely walk by the end of the day and every surface of his house is peppered w paperwork that he can never escape. the weight of the responsibilities and the Trauma of the war on top of all that ?

he's close to breaking. he's the type of person that needs and loves and seeks affection and he hasn't gotten that literally since he was 8. he's an extrovert, Loves talking to people, loves Being w people and conversing and joking around and hugging and laughing and he's got none of that—the closest he manages is w his troops, but wars is careful not to get too close for,,, obvious reasons. he doesn't need to lose anybody else

he comes home to an empty house and it's that ? staticy, humming silence when he closes the door and stands there in the dark that he hates the most. he has a couch that nobody has ever sat on except him. he doesn't have enough time to decorate and the furniture and tapestries on the walls weren't even put there by him, it was the people artemis hired that were put in charge of housing him. it all feels utterly Empty, and wars is . pretty much hopeless at some point. just,, trudgin along

but then the war is won. and even though that doesn't relieve him of hero duty, at least the fighting and the death is over with. all their resources r directed to rebuilding, and while it's still a lot of work and everything is far from over and wars is still utterly fucking exhausted, he's just glad there's no more corpses he has to look at

fast forward to lu—he meets the chain, they go on a quest, and for the first time ever, he gets close to people. he starts calling them teammates, then friends, then Family, and since he's technically not on duty while out w the chain, he wears his orange scarf instead. it's lighter than the blue one in many, many ways

at some point when they return to wars' era for a visit and a quick break, wars is not included in that break. they overwork him hard enough for him to get ill and bedridden and legend gets so irate about it that he marches up to artemis and impa and makes a Big scene abt it

he's drawing negative attention to authority, but they bite their tongues until wars is better. when he is better, he is called to the throne room and ordered to "keep legend quiet." wars doesn't like that. stuff happens, arguments ensue, and it eventually gets bad enough to where they threaten to Ban legend from castle town altogether

this is . greatly disturbing to warriors. bc they Know how much ledge means to him. and they would blatantly use that against him, to get their way ? they call themselves his friends, when they'd do smth like that?

he says that if legend is banned, so is he—their Hero

and they agree to that

so warriors is, legally, exiled from castle town—his home. he'd meant it as a bluff, bc he'd half-thought artemis was bluffing—ofc tho, he doesn't regret the decision, not when legend was being wrongfully banned just for sticking up for him. and he spends the next few weeks thinking all that over—the fact that his "friends" would do that to him is appalling, but it suddenly,,, Hits him at some point that when he'd stopped being useful, they just,, threw him out

the second he got too hard to handle and not worth the trouble, they tossed him to the street. some "friends" they were.

when he's exiled, he's given a chance to reflect. and he realizes that it was actually one of the best thing to ever happen to him. he was so unhappy all his life within those goddamn walls, so miserably alone, so utterly hopeless, and then when he'd been sent through those portals and met the chain, the weight of that all seemed to ,, lift, a little

he realizes that even though he's on another adventure and looking death in the face, he's infinitely happier with the chain than he ever would have been back home. the chain loves him, treats him like family, talks to him, jokes w him, hugs him and laughs w him. they don't overwork him to death and they don't stop loving him when he's not at peak performance 24/7. he has people who care. he has people who don't only talk to him when they want smth from him

so he ditches the blue scarf altogether. with it goes his responsibilities and all the stress and depression and crippling loneliness it had housed. he dons the orange one instead, sunshine on his back—he's gained a family and the warmth of that resides in it, the happy, jittery feeling in his chest is what the fabric is practically made of. it reminds him of his mother and happiness and it feels so, so much lighter.

#qktalks #destructokats #tw parent death #parent death tw #tw death threats #death threat tw #i just rly enjoy stories of recovery and things getting better #and the scarves sorta represent that #btw he's still very much attached to the orange one #still treats it like a comfort item. is Always wearing it. gets genuinely jumpy and nervous if he isn’t near it in some way #he's gotten better over the years w it and he Was sorta forced to not wear it during duty back in the war #but that doesn't mean it didn't make his anxiety any less high back then. he Hated not wearing it #at some point he gets a white one just like it (or as close as he can get to his mom's)#and he wears that one when his orange isnt available. the weight on his shoulders helps a bit. makes him feel less naked #important note that i feel like somebody might be miffed abt:#yes i kinda characterize artemis and impa as like . cold and efficient coworkers and nothing more #and that is purely bc i feel absolutely nothing for their characters and how they were written in hyrule warriors GVIAEGYV #i'm sorry for making them Like That i simply don't have an attachment to them At All #please understand im just a little guy #anyway im so sorry holy shit GVIEYAV that was so long and needlessly dramatic. wow i am so cringe #but im so free. actually no im not i could be freer. i could be living in the woods hollering to the moon abt him #in my mind that's what im doing . i assure u #i skipped a good bit from him growing up to his shitty mental health during the war #mostly bc the details aren’t set in stone and they're a bit darker #kinda heavy stuff so i won't go too into it here but just know that he rly struggled and it was Bad #and that makes me sad cuz wars isn't inherently a very depressed person. he was Driven to that level of depression and hopelessness #he's usually very happy. but for a solid chunk of his life it was very hard to stay happy #i also just left stuff out cuz this was long and yaknow . i feel like there's a limit to how annoying u can be and im for sure reaching it #IM AT 29 TAGS . I HAVE ONE MORE TO CONVEY MY LOVE FOR WARRIORS IF THAT HASN'T ALREADY BEEN ESTABLISHED #twists him around like im wringing out a wet dish rag. /i love you i love you i love you i lo

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estoyeepy · 2 years

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mini life-rant thing

I'm starting college in August after just barely managing to graduate high school.

During my junior year, I reached burnout point and failed two classes, so I had to repeat them (and even then I just barely passed them). I never fully recovered from it, leading me to burning out again in senior year, failing a one-semester class and having to retake it after the first semester, and almost failing another one right before graduation (tbf, that last one was only like 80% my own fault, but that's irrelevant here).

I've never had any sort of big aspirations for my future, in part because I'm just so mentally drained, but also because the schools I went to didn't really give good science classes past the elementary school level, so I constantly feel like I don't have the scientific knowledge to understand what a career in most scientific fields would even involve. I also have a similar problem with history-related stuff, although to a lesser extent. At this point I feel like it's too late to do anything about that unless I give these subjects a fair chance in college and actually like them.

For years now, whenever someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I've instinctively responded with "an English teacher". But I've always felt like this isn't what I really want; like I'm settling for it because knowing English during a teacher shortage in a place where it isn't most people's first language is the only valuable asset I have to offer. It's not like I have the knowledge to do anything else, anyway.

I already applied to college with plans to study for an English degree (and to study in the field of education in the process). The only other alternative I can possibly think of (which only sprung to mind long after I applied) would be to study for a career in law, which doesn't sound that bad to me. Not that the teaching career is unappealing; I'd just rather have an actual choice in the matter instead of settling for my only option. However, I know I've become incredibly susceptible to burnout now, so I don't know how well I'll be able to handle any sort of workload in college, if I'll be able to at all.

For now, I think I'll focus on the teaching route. I have to take things easy until I fully recover, assuming I ever do. Maybe someday I'll pursue a career in law. Or maybe I'll learn to love the sciences and explore my options there. Maybe I'll even love my job passing my knowledge down to, as my high school English teacher would always call her students, "the future of Puerto Rico and the world".

shoutout to Ms. Christina for that, btw :)

#personal rant #ramblings #personal vent #rant #vent #college #high school #burnout #wow i didn't mean for this to be so long #i love having anonymity to vent behind #i mean there's a few personally identifying details in there but still #shoutout to ms christina btw #you're awesome

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mieczyhale · 5 months

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one of the guys that runs a reaction channel i've been watching for ages just announced that they're ending the channel next year bc he got a job offer and he's getting married and he's thinking about his family and his future and like...

my son in christ you are 21

i literally want to fucking die

#dont get me wrong! good for him! i'm happy for him #but he really said he started the channel when he was younger (turns out that was 18) and it felt like time to move on #i am 31 and only got the job i love a year and a half ago #i have been dating and living with the same person for... 10 years in 11 days and all i've ever wanted is to get married #(and be a mom but i dont think im ever getting that one but im gonna go ahead and focus on that one zero percent or i'll cry)#i say. like all of this doesnt make me want to cry lmao #i am so incredibly blessed to have what i have. like truly i ended up with the perfect sort of life for my awkward mentally ill ass #but i cannot NOT spiral just a little when people younger than me have the things i want so so bad and then also talk as if their young age #is older than it is. i know you feel mature and older but you are still so fucking young. and okay honestly - now that im rambling - thats #just part of it huh?? i mean a lot of the spiral is actually Wow. I really lost so much of my life (so much time. so many opportunities) to #mental illness and other shit i couldn't control and there are people who didn't fucking have that. there are people who didn't have to #deal with any of that!!! honestly!!! and you just.. dont do anything to prepare for the future when you do not expect there to be one for #so long and then you can't stop fucking everything up and then oh look! you're in your 30s and-#god i cannot fucking do this #it is 1:35 in the morning and im tired but now i feel really stubborn about going to bed. i should. i want to. but also i dont.#actually going to bed is where The Horrors are so #this really was the dumbest fucking shit i think im gonna go to bed & play p.m on my phone and try to be a little less pathetic #maison speaks

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coquelicoq · 1 year

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Hi again! Thanks for answering my previous ask! I find it funny that I have the opposite thoughts about story formats, feeling more comfortable with static images from manga (or words in a book) than the fluidity of animation/live action series. I guess having read manga since I was like 10 I'm just used to it as a format and don't find the points you make any issue? (Always read top to bottom, then right to left, and dialogue has pointers or an icon in/besides the bubble, rarely left wholly to context.) While in contrast, during dramas I often feel that I didn't get to catch the details before they're gone from the screen. Regardless, it was cool to hear your opinion on manga! 🐰💛

(By the way, yep, natsuyuu simply comes from mashing the words together to make the name shorter, which is pretty standard, especially if there's not enough words to make an interesting acronym. And if I may comment, I love the FMA manga, so if you do get to watch either of the anime version, I would enjoy knowing your opinions on the FMA:B adaptation, since it's the one that's closest to the manga. Only if you decide to watch and share, of course. 🐰💛)

that is really interesting! i like that you're distinguishing between static forms like books/manga and moving forms like animation/live action. that makes a lot of sense. my first instinct is to think of it as forms with pictures (manga/graphic novels/animation/live action) vs. forms without pictures (books), because any time there are words and images, the images become secondary to me. i'm so into words that sometimes i don't even look at the images because i just want to get to the next words! whoops!!

thank you for explaining the whole "natsuyuu" thing because i was almost at the "i don't know what this is and now i'm too afraid to ask" point and then i would have just been suffering in silence lol. i think FMA: Brotherhood is the one that was recommended to me earlier, so hopefully i will get around to watching it someday! thank you for all of this info and for your thought-provoking questions! have a lovely friday <33

#i wrote a bunch of stuff about what i mean about the panel order being difficult for me but deleted it because it was sooo long #and because i thought about it more and the bigger issue is just that. i skip over the pictures. which is...kind of major lol #funnily enough right to left instead of left to right isn't difficult at all. for whatever reason i adjusted to that right away #so that's not the problem. western comic books aren't any easier for me than manga EXCEPT that they tend to be in color #and this manga at least is not #i didn't realize how much i was relying on color for context clues and continuity and telling characters and settings apart #until it wasn't available and now i'm like...oh wow color was doing a lot of heavy lifting for me lol #asks #anon #gonna tag this #comics #for tracking purposes #also you said that the order is top/bottom then right/left...but the cheat sheet for noob americans in the back of this natsuyuu manga #says right/left then top/bottom! so what is the truth!!!#it's complicated because sometimes panels are horizontal and sometimes they're vertical...sometimes they're diagonal...#sometimes the person on the left/bottom speaks before the person on the right/top...#sometimes dialogue at the top left is meant to lead into dialogue immediately below it or below and slightly to the right #and sometimes you're supposed to start over at the right side of the row below #hm hm hmmm. really makes u think

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azems-familiar · 1 year

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I am This Close to watching the untamed

So if you want to perhaps yell about it or something (since you’ve gotten me into stuff that way before) that could be cool idk

OH MY GOD PLEASE WATCH IT

okay to start with. the live action show is very good and a great place to start but it has some important differences from the novel and the donghua (animated show). i personally prefer a combination of cql (the untamed/the live action, that's the acronym i'll be using for it from now on) and the donghua; the novel suffers a lot of lost in translation effect and whatnot and i personally dislike the way the relationship is built in several places in it as opposed to how the adaptations do it, but it's definitely still worth reading. (dm me on discord if you want a copy of a pretty good fan translation of the novel and also like, a link to a place you can watch the donghua, btw.) other problems with cql: censorship hits the live action the hardest and their budget was i'm pretty sure basically nonexistent (they very clearly spent most of it on the costumes and the props, which you know what, the costumes are fucking stunning so great choice). so they changed the worldbuilding some and like.... the fight scenes? are really not good. they're really not good. also the special effects are universally pretty bad. it can make watching some parts of it difficult to get through, and there are some plot elements that are changed as well that i dislike, and a lot of the moral greyness of the original story had to get removed because again, censorship issues (if you want the most accurate, non-morally-whitewashed take first, you'll want to start with the novel, which is also what has the explicitly gay stuff). it's also not explicitly gay - but the actors played it as gay and there are multiple marriage metaphors and holy fuck like. honestly. there doesn't need to be a kiss or a confession or anything it's REALLY FUCKING GAY.

what cql excels in is its character interactions. the acting is absolutely stunning, the soundtrack is beautiful, and every single scene is just done with so much heart and emotion in it. so definitely keep that in mind going into it. i've watched it all the way through i think 3 or 4 times and i still keep seeing new fun details in the background that i hadn't noticed before.

the donghua, on the other hand, has an absolutely stunning art style, very very good voice acting, the worldbuilding and plot are more accurate to the book, and the magic and combat scenes are much more realistic for a fantasy and the powers they have. however, it, especially specifically the third and final season, is very rushed (and it has its own plot changes to fit how much they had to condense things, mostly just in the second half of season 3) and excludes some details, so it can be confusing if you don't know what you're seeing first. i recommend either watching cql or reading the novel first, then watching the donghua!

in terms of like, actual fandom stuff! so the main character of mdzs is, obviously, Wei Wuxian. i'm not sure how much you know but he's like. an incredibly ADHD man with horrible self-worth issues (despite being arrogant as hell) and a very strong sense of justice who is extremely brilliant and goes through a shitton of tragedy. he is known for inventing a viable form of necromancy, which is considered incredibly heretical and, among other things, gets him killed, and then gets him resurrected, so you know. pros and cons. he does magic by playing the flute. he is a disaster bisexual and also a bit of an alcoholic (okay a lot of an alcoholic) and i love him. his love interest is stoic and serious and incredibly autistic-coded and has been in love with him since they were teenagers and literally wrote him a love song. the two of them get trapped in a cave together and have to kill an ancient corrupted divine monster without weapons. it's very romantic. wei wuxian as a younger teenager is basically the epitome of a child pulling a girl's pigtails because he has a crush and is desperate for attention.

anyway, i'm not sure how much you know about the plot, but there's two timelines going on - the present and the past. the present is after wei wuxian is resurrected, and he and lan wangji (the love interest, in case you haven't picked up on the names yet - everyone has like two or three names and it can be hard to tell them apart at first) are basically going on a fun little murder mystery quest while also babysitting a bunch of teenagers which then abruptly devolves into politics, murder, more politics, and more murder. the past on the other hand goes from a high school definitely-not-a-romance to a goddamn war drama to politics and back to. hm. not exactly a war drama anymore but i'm really not sure how to describe everything that happens after a certain event. it's all very much a tragedy and the real "villain" of the story (which is less obvious in cql, again because of moral whitewashing due to censorship, though honestly i feel like they did a pretty good job of staying as true to the source material as they could all things considered, a whole lot of the scenes were word for word from the novel just slightly edited to fit the adjusted worldbuilding or plot changes) is the mob mentality, rumors and gossip and hearsay, and society itself!

lastly, because i am trying not to overwhelm you here, i am going to link you a couple great amvs i've found on youtube that will probably not make a lot of sense without context but will at least hopefully intrigue you?

youtube

and

youtube

and

youtube

the other one i really want to link i cannot because it definitely will make absolutely no sense without having watched the show and so you have to come talk to me when you've finished it so i can give it to you. also hey please feel free to come dm me on discord i Will ramble at length about this. especially about wwx he is my BLORBO and currently taking up residence in my brain. and also i need your live reactions if/when you start watching things oh my god

be glad it's almost 2 am and i'm still recovering from my covid booster or this would be even longer

#asked and answered #long post #i am not apologizing actually #mdzs #i want to yell more but i don't want to spoil things and i also don't want to sound totally deranged #i mean i am deranged but like. plausible deniability here #anyway he plays a FLUTE ginger. to do NECROMANCY. in the live action they didn't do this but #in the donghua you get to see his eyes go red when he does it and it is WONDERFUL #also he goes through so much trauma and there's like. a whole entire war which he wins basically singlehandedly #because of the necromancy. while having a prolonged fight with his not-boyfriend who he had a not-breakup with after he came back from #a three month disappearance (in which he did some Marinating in Spooky Hell Energy) after which he reappeared with a glowup #and a murder flute that he raised the dead with. so like honestly it's not unreasonable that lwj was concerned #wwx is just incapable of handling things normally. like ever. also has no emotional intelligence when it's other people's feelings for him #ANYWAY this man has like all of my mental illnesses but Worse i'm so attached to him <3 #wow i completely failed in not sounding insane huh

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