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lux-i-fer · 5 years

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Only Yours, Desirable

Ao3 link

Synopsis: In a universe where Lucifer never went back to Hell, Lucifer and Chloe sort things out at a motel in the middle of nowhere.

Rating: T

Notes: This fic is part of the 2019 My Fearless Love Deckerstar Network Fic Exchange. This goes to the wonderful @differenceenginegirl! Their prompt was Stay In My Corner by The Arcs, and unbeknownst to them, it is also one of my favorite songs from the Lucifer soundtrack! Enjoy!

*Set in an alternate post-S4 where Lucifer never went back to Hell. (No beta we die like men.)

The road in front of them was pitch black and as dead as one would imagine a desert back road would be at three in the morning. The last time they’d seen anything that resembled a town, the sun had been setting. Now the only thing left was the occasional farmhouse and a ceaseless white line that separated the road from the dirt.

Chloe had given up looking at the road thirty miles back. The lines only hypnotized her and the constant stream of nothing had made her head spin one too many times.

Her and Lucifer’s last conversation had been at dinner in the small roadside diner they’d stopped at, but she wasn’t upset by that. The silence was comfortable. It was nice just knowing that he was next to her, passing time and sipping gas station coffee.

Chloe rested her head against the window, and basked in its coolness. It was the time of night when the air turned into that welcoming type of cold. The type of cold that took the place of the AC and slid through her fingertips like silk.

Even though the temperature was a nice change, the glass wasn’t the most comfortable substitute for a pillow. She slumped further down in her seat and propped her feet up on the dashboard, trying to find the perfect position to try and get some sleep.

When she finally settled into the corner of the window, she looked over at Lucifer. With her head laying the way it was, she had the perfect view of him. She shared a private smile with the darkness that enveloped the car. He’d insisted on driving and, for once, Chloe had been totally fine with it. They’d both known that she was too tired to drive five hours through the desert after working a full shift.

She allowed her heavy eyelids to close once more, but before she could slip off, something went wrong. Her neck had a horrible crick in it already and her current position apparently wasn’t helping it.

When she forced her eyes open again, Lucifer’s profile was blurry. Chloe blinked away the sleep in her eyes and sat back up, intent on going to sleep this time.

Her victory was short-lived and a few minutes later, she found herself nodding off, only to be awoken when her head knocked against the headrest. After the third attempt to sleep, Chloe had had enough.

She fixed her gaze on Lucifer, and this time she studied him. They’d been driving for three hours straight and it was starting to show. Lucifer was beginning to shift in his seat more frequently and the hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel was fidgeting with whatever it could touch.

She guessed she wasn’t the only one that would benefit from stopping somewhere.

Chloe laid a heavy hand on his shoulder. “Lucifer,” she said, slurring the syllables together. “Let’s just stop for the night.”

Lucifer, for once, kept his eyes fixed on the road. “Darling, Vegas is only two hours away. Besides there’s nowhere to stop.”

His words were gentle, but Chloe couldn’t help but cringe at how tense he felt under her palm. He’d been like this ever since they’d spilled their feelings for each other that night on his balcony. Things were fine after their mutual confessions and she had even ended up staying the night, but not for sex. Instead, they’d fallen into his bed, exhausted from rescuing Charlie and feeling too raw to do much else.

Then came the next morning. Lucifer might have been all smiles, but Chloe had known the difference between a happy Lucifer and a Lucifer pretending to be happy to save face. She’d let him have his secrets that morning, though.

Now she wished she hadn’t. Things had spiraled in the following week, and while Lucifer was physically present, Chloe knew that emotionally he couldn’t be farther away. She thought the new case and a change of scenery would help the distance between them, but so far all it had gotten them was a silent red-eye drive through the desert.

“Vegas PD aren’t expecting us until the morning.” She took her hand off his shoulder and reached for her phone, intent on Googling nearby motels.

Lucifer sighed. “Detective–”

“Look.” Chloe thrust her phone towards him. “There’s a motel like two miles away. We can stop there for the night. I can sleep an actual bed and you can get a break from driving.”

Lucifer briefly scanned the photo she’d pulled up and scoffed.

“I know it’s not the type of five star hotel you’re used to, but it’s all we’ve got. Plus, if we want to make a good impression tomorrow, I need to sleep in a bed and not in the passenger seat of a car.”

“Who cares what those tossers think,” he mumbled moodily.

“I care, Lucifer.” Chloe closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. “Please? It’s just for the night.”

Lucifer didn’t respond.

A few minutes later, the dusty yellow glow of a single pair of street lights appeared out of the darkness. On the right was the motel from the Google search. It looked worse in person. Half of the exterior lights had been busted or cracked, and those that remained only glowed halfheartedly, illuminating crumbling sidewalks and weed-choked landscaping. The rooms didn’t look to be much better. The doors were a worn shade of burgundy that only appeared in horror movies and zombie flicks. As they drove closer, Chloe spied a small swimming pool in the middle of the “complex”–if it could even be called that with its single L-shaped building and small check-in office.

The sight was dismal enough to make even Chloe second-guess her request. She thought that Lucifer, assuming that he was seeing what she was, would use it to his further his argument, but to her surprise, he slowed the car and turned into the empty parking lot. He killed the engine wordlessly, got out of the car, and headed into the office, already pulling out his billfold on the way up.

Chloe blinked a few times in shock. For a moment she thought she’d actually managed to fall asleep. Lucifer was only this compliant in her dreams. He had only put up a minimal fight where she’d been expecting to have to commandeer the steering wheel to get him to even think about pulling over. Either he was doing worse than she’d originally thought, or he was more tired than he let on.

She leaned over the center consul and popped the trunk. Then she got out of the car and went to grab both of their suitcases. As she slammed the trunk closed, Chloe glanced towards the office. Through the window she saw a dead-eyed employee handing Lucifer a set of room keys.

“Room 7,” he told her when he emerged.

Lucifer extended a hand to give her the keys, but Chloe took the opportunity to wrap him up in a hug. His arms looped around her waist, but the rest of him seemed to stiffen at the sudden contact.

Chloe loosened her embrace to meet his eyes. “Thank you.”

Lucifer gave a weak smirk and looked to the side. “Think nothing of it.”

She released him, finally taking the keys he’d offered before. Lucifer grabbed their suitcases and started towards their room. As they walked, Chloe observed the motel again. Up close, the plaster looked more gray than white. Paint was peeling off by the foot, revealing an ugly tan color underneath.

She frowned. It wasn’t promising, but it was all they had.

When they came to a stop in front of Room 7, she noticed that they weren’t staring at the room number, but rather the shadow of where it previously had been. The rooms to their immediate left and right were also missing their numbers. Still, Chloe forced herself to shrug it off. A bed was a bed.

She unlocked the door and flicked on the light. A miserable-looking nightstand and an even more miserable-looking bed greeted her.

“I slipped the chap at the desk a Benjamin for the only room that wasn’t pay by the hour,” Lucifer said behind her. “Usually there’s always one or two on hand.”

Chloe didn’t ask how he knew that. She walked in and immediately plopped down on the bed, letting herself fall back onto her back as she did. Closing her eyes, Chloe let herself be absorbed into the mattress. It was lumpy and paper-thin, but she’d convinced herself that it would have to do.

“Detective, wouldn’t you like to put on something more comfortable?”

Slowly, Chloe opened her eyes to find Lucifer peering down at her. Judging by his lack of usual smugness, his remark had been entirely innocent.

“Yeah. Front zipper pocket, can you get it for me?” She gestured loosely towards the top of the dresser where he’d put her suitcase.

When Lucifer pulled out what she’d asked for, he paused. Had she been more awake, Chloe might have blushed, because in his hand was a wrinkled dress shirt. More specifically, his shirt. The one she’d stolen from Lux on her birthday last year. As quickly as she could manage, she was up and snatching it out of his grasp. She muttered a clipped thanks and locked herself in the bathroom.

Chloe emerged five minutes later to find Lucifer, sans belt, shoes, and jacket, lounging on the bed. When he saw her, he gave her the first real smile she’d seen all week. The sheets were already turned down and waiting for her. She joined him on the bed, dragging the sheets over both of them as she went.

“Don’t you want to put on something more comfortable?” Chloe parroted back at Lucifer when he reached over to click off the lamp.

He paused, and had Chloe been able to see in the dark, she would have thought he was staring at her. The silence dragged on for a few more seconds before Lucifer settled back down on the mattress. “Good night, Detective,” he said in lieu of an actual answer.

Chloe wrapped an arm around his waist nonetheless.

She didn’t recall ever closing her eyes, but something found her opening them again. The first thing she noticed was that Lucifer wasn’t next to her anymore. The second thing she noticed was that instead of it being three-something in the morning, it was now four-something in the morning. The bed springs squealed when she sat up and the sheets pooled around her legs.

She got up and checked the bathroom. No Lucifer.

On a whim, Chloe went to the window. She let her fingertips rest against the windowpane, which was already smeared with countless other hand prints. The glass felt cool to touch like it had in the car, and fogged where her breath hit it.

Their room had a sub-par view of the pool and the parking lot beyond it. Chloe let her eyes meander around their surroundings until they landed on a figure at the far end of the pool.

Chloe barely remembered to grab her key off the nightstand before she rushed outside. The door shut behind her before she registered that she’d forgotten her shoes. And her jeans. Deciding that they didn’t matter, Chloe carefully made her way to the poolside.

The air was pleasant, yet Chloe still found herself pulling the shirt more tightly around her body. As she made her way into the fenced off pool area, Chloe passed by Lucifer’s neatly folded socks, shirt, and pants sitting on a dirty plastic chair. She came to a stop at the other end of the pool when she saw the owner of the clothes.

Lucifer stood half-submerged in the pool. Leaves clustered on the water’s surface and a few clung to his bare skin. Chloe let her eyes take a peek downwards, and felt a tinge of relief when she saw the barest hint of his briefs’ waistband. Her gaze traveled up the curve of his spine and traced over the lines of his sculpted muscles. She followed the solid curve of his shoulder blades, but did a double take when she realized that the skin there was whole and scar-free. It was a far cry from the last time she’d seen it this clearly, but time hadn’t seemed to have changed the uncomfortable feeling she got when she looked at it for too long.

He hadn’t seemed to have heard her approach, so Chloe dipped her foot in the pool and splashed some of the water around. Lucifer looked over his shoulder, seemingly unfazed by the sound. When he saw it was her, he turned around fully, resting his back against the concrete lip of the pool.

“Hi,” she said softly. She hugged herself in some mock-attempt at modesty.

“Hi,” he said back.

“What are you doing out here?”

Lucifer shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep.” He began to swim over to her. “Although if I recall,” he continued when he stopped in front of her, “that was all you wished to do.”

“I guess something just woke me up.” She gave him a pointed look and softened it with a gentle smile.

He rested his elbows on the edge and gazed up at her through his dark lashes. “I do apologize, although I doubt I had anything to do with it. I’ve been out here for about a half hour now.”

Chloe sat down where she’d been standing, undoubtedly giving Lucifer an eyeful of her rather unspectacular panties on the way. She scooted as close to the edge as she dared and stuck her feet in the water, one on either side of Lucifer’s body, and boxed him in. The water was warmer than the air had been, and she could feel the steam licking its way up her bare legs.

“I think you had more to do with it than you know.”

“Oh?” He was gazing fully at her now, but there was something missing behind his eyes. His hands remained clasped between them, and the tension she’d sensed back in the car was becoming more obvious by the second.

“Yeah.” Chloe reached out to cup his jaw with one hand, while the other began to toy mindlessly with the bullet necklace at the hollow of her throat. Lucifer’s face resembled the way a prisoner might look at an open door. But just as quickly as doors can open, Lucifer’s features slammed shut, morphing back into his usual mask of nonchalance and class.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Chloe began.

“Of course, Detective.” He turned his face to place a kiss into her palm.

Chloe massaged his cheek and stared absently at the water. “It’s just that you’ve been acting weird all week and I know this… thing with us is still really new and everything is just now starting to settle down after the whole thing with Charlie, but I just want to make sure that everything’s okay and it’s not me or us that’s freaking you out.”

“I’m fine, darling.” He rested his hands on her hips, as if to make his point.

“But you’re not, Lucifer,” Chloe pushed.

Lucifer didn’t try to refute her point. Instead, he leaned into her touch, letting his eyes flutter closed as her fingers continued to dance over his skin.

“If you don’t want to talk about it, can you at least tell me what happened to your back?”

His eyes snapped open and his forehead creased. “What do you mean?”

“Your…” she paused and gestured at her own back with her free hand. “Scars. They’re gone.”

Lucifer frowned. “Do you remember what I told you about them the first time you saw them?”

“That they were a gift from your Father. That that’s where you cut your wings…” Chloe trailed off, her brain snapping the puzzle pieces together. “Oh.”

“Mhmm. And now that my wings have returned…”

“…the scars heal,” she finished for him.

“Clever Detective.” He smirked, but it seemed forced.

A pit formed in Chloe’s stomach. This wasn’t the first time she’d cursed her past self for being so dense when it came to Lucifer’s “Luciferness,” and it wouldn’t be her last. “Lucifer,” she said, voice suddenly serious. She cupped the other side of his face with her other hand and brought him closer to her. He went willingly. “I want you to promise me something.”

“Detective?”

“Don’t ever,” she squished his face for emphasis, “try and do that again. Especially around me where we know you can’t recover. If you ever feel like mutilating yourself like that again, call me. ” Lucifer couldn’t meet her eyes. “Okay?”

“Okay,” he mumbled.

Chloe loosened her hold on him. “I care about you, Lucifer. I don’t want to see you hurting.”

“I know.” Somehow, it seemed as if he’d shrunken down to half his size. It reminded Chloe of the time she’d first tried to touch his back during the Player case. He’d looked so frightened then, like a little kid afraid of his dad. Chloe hid a bitter smile, knowing just how on the nose she probably was.

“Did anyone else know about them?”

Lucifer exhaled loudly. “Maze, obviously. Mum, my brother…”

“What about your…guests?”

He offered up a humorless chuckle. “Jealous, Detective?” He frowned again. “But no, none of them really noticed. If they did, they didn’t really care. Candy noticed, but I don’t think she counts,” he cut himself off at the mention of his ex-wife’s name, as if he’d said something he shouldn’t have.

Before when Lucifer spoke of his “guests,” Chloe would have said she wasn’t jealous, because she wasn’t, not of some one night stand. But of an ex anything, let alone an ex-wife? Chloe wasn’t going to lie to herself. Candy had been a sore spot between them since she’d first come into the picture.

Lucifer must have noticed her change in mood, because he pulled her closer to him so that she teetered dangerously on the pool’s concrete edge. “Did I ever tell you about Candy?”

Chloe dropped her hands at her sides. It took everything not to roll her eyes. “Lucifer I met Candy.”

“No, I think you misunderstand me.” He reached up to tuck a piece of hair that had fallen from her bun behind her ear. “I never told you about the real Candy. The reason we got married.”

“I don’t know if I want to hear it,” Chloe said petulantly. She ran her fingers through her hair, dislodging the piece Lucifer had just smoothed back.

“You do, Detective, trust me.” Chloe allowed her face to soften. Lucifer took it as his cue to continue. “Candy isn’t a stripper, she’s a singer. And her name isn’t really Candy, it’s Candace. Candace Fletcher. She inherited her father’s bar and also his debts. I agreed to pay her debts if, in return, she posed as my wife to get closer to Mum. And you know the rest, Detective. We got our marriage annulled after everything was said and done.” He lowered his voice. “We never even consummated our marriage, Detective. It wasn’t relative to the deal and, frankly, neither one of us felt up to it.”

She tried to tack on a grin. “Lucifer Morningstar passing on sex? I find that hard to believe.”

Lucifer smiled thinly. “Sometimes I hardly believe it myself.”

They fell into an awkward silence. There was a lot to unpack in Lucifer’s brief explanation. She wasn’t going to act like what he pulled wasn’t a totally shitty move, but it wasn’t like she could pin her anger on Candy, or Candace, or whoever she was anymore.

Chloe sighed. “Why didn’t you just tell me that back then?” she asked quietly.

Lucifer fiddled with her shirt tails and kept his eyes trained away from hers. “I was frightened.” He hesitated. “And confused.”

“What does that mean?”

Lucifer took a moment to collect his response. When he did finally speak, his voice was nearly inaudible. “For the longest time I thought you were a trick, a trap, sent to me by my Father. Something I couldn’t resist.” He met her eyes. “Something that could be my undoing. Even the smallest amount of power over the Devil is worth more than my entire fortune, but the amount of power you possess, Chloe–” he stroked up the curve of her waist. “Is priceless. And it frightened me.

“You looked at me like…like I wasn’t the Devil. And I thought that there must have been some sort of divine intervention, some sort of manipulation, to have made you look at me like that . So I thought if I could scare you away, I could set you free and stick it to my Father. Clearly, I was wrong. About both of those things.

“You asked me before what was the matter, and I suppose this is it. Before, when I was going to leave, you said you loved me.” He choked on the word love. “Did you mean it or did you just say it so I wouldn’t go back to Hell?”

Chloe didn’t know what to say. It was rare that Lucifer showed any vulnerability at all, and it was even rarer that he spoke so candidly about his own feelings. All of her prior anger over Candy had burned up and fizzled away when she saw the uncertainty so clearly painted across Lucifer’s face. Not sure what else to do, Chloe took his face in her hands once more and leaned in to give him a tender kiss. Lucifer returned it guardingly.

“Of course I mean it,” she whispered against his lips. “I love you.”

Lucifer’s hands moved to her back as he pulled her in for another kiss. This kiss, unlike the first, was deeper and more forceful. Chloe shifted her hands to rest at the back of his neck, feeling it tilt up so his lips could capture hers. When he sidled up closer to her, Chloe felt something unravel inside of her.

That knot of tension, the one she’d felt in the car and during their embrace, was gone. The walls Lucifer had constructed to try and hold her back at arm’s length had been broken. She could feel every emotion in his kiss. The fear simmered on her lips, the lust soaked into her skin, and the love coated her tongue like honey. For once, Chloe felt like she understood Lucifer entirely.

Their kisses continued to grow more heated. Chloe began to run her fingers through his hair and Lucifer’s hands were nosing their way up her shirt. Now she was teetering so close to the edge that the water was lapping against her knees. Lucifer must have noticed too, because with his hands still under her shirt, he pulled her off the lip and into the water with a muted splash.

Chloe smiled against his lips and let his supernatural strength support her weight. By now, her shirt was soaked to the point of being see-through and her hair was just barely managing to stay in its bun, but Chloe couldn’t have cared less. The only things she could focus on were Lucifer’s hands moving to cup her thighs and how quickly his mouth was making its way to her throat. When he hit a spot that made her go particularly weak in the knees, she locked her ankles around his waist in a desperate attempt to feel closer to him. With their bodies pressed flush together, Chloe could feel him straining against his thin briefs.

“We should probably go back to our room, Lucifer,” she said breathlessly.

Lucifer halted his kisses down her throat. “You’re tired now?”

Chloe rested her forehead on his and made sure he was looking into her eyes before she grinded against him. “I wouldn’t say that.”

Lucifer grinned and this time it was genuine. “Then lead the way, Detective.”

#thedeckerstarnetwork #fearlesslove #deckerstar #fanfic #differenceenginegirl #my fics #lucifer morningstar #lucifer on netflix

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thespookydoor · 6 years

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Havre Has It!

Zombies, that is. “Havre Has It” is the mysterious town slogan I’ve seen in my hometown since I first moved there. I spent nine years trying to figure out precisely what “it” was, and I can assure you that if “it” is something you want, Havre DOESN’T have “it” and never will. (My friends and I often suggested changing the slogan to “Havre’s Had It” and variations thereof. The local businesses always played an amusing game of telling the People of the Hi-Line to “Shop Local” while never having anything you want— and because they knew they were the only game in town, acting as if doing business with you was a chore— then bitching about how everyone kept going on big out-of-town shopping trips whenever they could…) On the Dream Plane, though, one thing that old ghost town seemed to have in spades was zombies. Almost all of the dreams I’ve ever had about the undead seem to be connected to this town, as if a manifestation of the slow death the real town was going through. Just a bathroom and gas station on the way to someplace else, and slowly losing its ability to distinguish itself from the rest of the Hi-Line region, a string of towns on Highway 2 so small you’d miss them if you blink. Worse than outright desert, the whole region looks like dry living death— my first question as a freshman in high school, having moved there from the mountains of western Montana, was: “Where the hell are all the trees?” The fact that anyone actually tries to farm this land strikes me as conclusive proof that inbreeding diminishes intelligence. Out there is a hollow shell of a boom-town mall, one still dreaming empty, plastic dreams, still in denial of the fact that it gets emptier every year, still awaiting that fabled comeback that all boom towns seem to think is their birthright. There is an old joke out there, that on the Eighth Day, God stopped there to take a shit. Shitsplat, MT: Home of Montana State University Havre (the School Formerly Known As Montana State University Northern, and Northern Montana College before that…), a college well on its way to being reduced to a tech school or community college. Despite what rabid fans of the Northern Lights and Skylights (NAIA National Champion Women’s Basketball Team… back when I moved there more than a decade ago) and its fledgling football team (which was still getting their asses kicked by little high school outfits… guess the original team just wasn’t embarrassing enough or something) may tell you. (Just a little trivia: I am one of the last two people ever to walk out those doors with a Bachelors in English.) MSU- Northern, Home of the Fighting Zombies, if you recall from my other dreams. Guess they finally got loose or something… …I am standing around in the Mall with my old friend’s then-girlfriend, waiting for him to get off work. M works at Taco John’s (both in the dream, and in the waking world back then), one of the few businesses that remain between the building’s two eerily silent wings. (R.I.P. Woolworths— and its ill-fated sequel, Gibsons… R.I.P. J C Penny…) Despite two-out-of-three storefronts staring vacantly out at the halls like empty eye sockets, people are out and about shopping. But as he steps out of the store, there are screams from down the hall. People are fleeing, and the reason quickly becomes apparent. (You guessed it.) Zombies. Marching, shuffling up the hall like a bunch of angry Christmas shoppers who had tried too many chocolate liqueur samples. I run over to the emergency fire axe mounted in the wall compartment, throwing an energy blast to break the glass. I wonder why I’m grabbing an axe when I can throw energy bolts, and instead hand the axe to M. I tell them to escape while I hold off the zombies. I fire a few more blasts, flash-frying several of the shuffling shoppers, then I start to power up. The closest thing I can come to describing how it feels when I “power up” is how it feels when I’m flying— total freefall… and that sensation of lightning surging through my veins. Nothing so mundane as blood. (I’ve reached out and powered up, using super powers before, but I guess after watching a whole season of Dragon Ball Z, my dream-powers were really on fire.) My aura is glowing, and it seems like there is spectral fire raging all around me. When I summon up enough power, I attack head-on with a flying leap right into the midst of my undead adversaries, unleashing a cyclone of superhuman strength and speed. I remember kicking one of the monster’s heads right off, punting it through a display window. Most of the zombies, though, just get back up and start shuffling toward me. After dishing out attacks from which an ordinary human being wouldn’t be able to move for a week, I suddenly remember that you can’t kill something that’s already dead. I jump back away from them, deciding I need a new strategy. I retreat back to the skylit fountain at the center of the Mall and just start powering up. And powering up. Even as the hungry cannibal-corpses are marching toward me, I stand, the eye of the storm. There is so much raw energy flowing through me I can barely contain it. Just as the first of the zombies is about to reach me, I unleash this energy in a massive shockwave radiating out from where I stand. In the waking world, I came to call this technique Ground-Zero, and I imagine if I could use it in the waking world, say, on someone’s house, there would be a blackened crater and rubble raining down all around… but the place where I stood would be untouched. The view changes to a spectacular camera-shot of M and the others fleeing from the Mall. They are all knocked down and sent sprawling (good thing, too) as the doors shattered outward in a hailstorm of glass shards. The skylights explode in a jagged crystal fountain that would have sliced a person to ribbons as easily as it sliced up through the air. And flickering into existence above the collapsing Mall, like a Phoenix rising from its ashes, a fiery spread-eagle form emerges. I’m still powered-up and I’ve even managed to outrun my own explosion. I flip and roll through the air, hurling energy blasts at the zombies in the parking lot. As my friends get in their car and drive off, I fly alongside them, ready to blast anything that gets in their way… TO BE CONTINUED… …This was all one dream, but I’m telling it in two parts, just for the hell of it. (But partly because this part was fluid and continuous, whereas most of the rest of it tends to jump around.) The real Mall in the real town is mostly empty, like the Atrium downtown, and it was actually kind of depressing to wander around in there, like watching a time-lapse documentary of the town’s own fate. The summer of 2000, I went back to Kalispell for my cousin’s wedding, and while we were there, M and I tried to visit my favorite childhood mall, Gateway West. I find it strange now, because either security was lax, or we somehow hit on the only unlocked door in the whole place. One might think the largely vacant parking lot would be a tip-off, but I was always the adventurous and persistent type, not one to let reality get in the way of my time-traveling adventure in the Flathead Valley that smoke-shrouded summer. What we entered was basically a ghost town. The entire mall was deserted. Just empty storefronts, dirt, and a lot of old equipment laying around. This was once the place I used to hang out whenever I got the chance to go into town as a kid, and now all that remained of my childhood memories were skylight windows and lonely-looking trees growing at regular intervals down the hall. Most of the opposite end of the hall was denied us, blocked by a big wooden wall announcing some cellular phone center office. Coming Soon. (I took a lot of pictures that summer because I suspected that what was “coming soon” was the ongoing erasure every place and thing I remember. A bulldozer has already made a lot of my past disappear. Coming Soon… New California Estates.) I walked out of the ruins of Gateway West Mall, feeling for all the world like an archaeologist walking out of a haunted pyramid. In my mind’s eye— time overlapped a great deal that summer, and I often walked in more than one when at a time— I could still see people walking up and down those dusty walkways, shopping bags in their hands, kids trying to drag their hungry parents to the arcade instead of the host of restaurants… could still hear laughter and music and a hundred conversations about anything under the sun… I think I understand now how the Parthenon would feel to some ancient Greek guy if you yanked him out of the past and showed it to him now. I have the distinct feeling that somewhere over the horizon, the same future awaits another mall in the middle of nowhere. -12/05/01

#havre #zombies #havre has it #kalispell #mall #zombie outbreak #taco johns #havre montana #northern #dragon ball #dragon ball z #power up #fire axe #coming soon #dreams #nightmares and dreamscapes

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pleathethorry · 7 years

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Young, Wild, and Free

Namjoon x Reader

Words: 3120

Genre: Fluff????

Warnings: Swearing. Like a lot lol.

Summary: Living in the country was the worst part of your life. You were such an adventurous person, yet what was there to explore when there was nothing but wheat fields and roads that stretched for miles but no scenery. Namjoon was the highlight of all your days but you just wanted to explore. Together, you became the definition of reckless.

"Hey," you said as you sat on top of the counter Namjoon was standing behind. He looked tired, fatigued even.

"You're late again," he sighed and grabbed the white and red cashier shirt that was hanging behind him. You despised it. It's ugly. It's basically the ones in those cheesy movies. You aren't in a cheesy movie. This is real life. No need for dumbass shirts, boss man.

"It's not like the big man cares. I'm always late and he doesn't say a damn thing," you shrugged and hopped down.

"Yeah but I do. I've been standing here for three hours. My fucking legs hurt," He growled. His jaw clenched but you knew he wasn't mad. He could never be mad at you.

You snatched the shirt from him and slipped it on. You didn't bother to take off your tanktop. It was cold outside. It was dumb to wear a tank when it's 20 degrees. Oh well.

You continued the conversation even though the scowl on his face showed he was done with talking and just wanted to rest.

"This is a gas station in the middle of nowhere. It's not like we get any customers," you said and grabbed a pack of cigarettes that were displayed on the beige table. You ripped the annoying plastic that was covering the white and red box. You didn't care for the brand.

You lifted the little tab and pulled a cigarette out.

"Nothing like good old lung cancer to start the work day huh?" You smirked and waited for him to light it. He rolled his eyes deeply as he grabbed the lighter that was also on the counter. He delicately cupped a hand around the vibrant orange flame. There was no wind. You inhaled the smoke when he lit it.

"You're impossible," he rolled his eyes. He had a hint of a tired smile on his face. Even if it were little, you were glad he smiled. You sorta, just a little bit, felt bad that you had him standing here.

"It's in the word Joonie. I'm possible," you said and took another drag of the cigarette.

"Just stand here and look pretty. I'm taking a nap. And stop calling me that, " he walked around the table and went into the room that said employees only. In reality, it was a storage with a bathroom inside. You just put that because too many people were interrupting Namjoon's nap. You cared that the dude has his sleep. He works too hard.

"Fine," you said and hopped back on the counter. It'd been 30 minutes and you finished your cigarette. You threw it on the ground and burned the embers out with your foot. No one will notice.

You grabbed a Hershey bar and looked around the plain store. Dull and ordinary. No one comes through this place because it's miles from anywhere. You and Namjoon just so happen to be desperate enough to drive the miles.

You were both desperate for the money. You had to admit, this place has pretty good pay to not have any customers. Plus, no cameras, so you can do whatever you want. You stole so much snacks and cigarettes. Still, you spend your days in this place for nothing. The only people to come here were people traveling out of town.

It kills you that you can't stay in town. That you can't walk around your campus and etch peoples' faces in your brain and draw them later on. You can't hang with your friends because you have work. Well, you have no friends because all of them went against you because they thought you abandoned them but really you were working. You can't think because you have work. Your sleep schedule was all fucked up because of school and work. You barely get 30 minutes everyday and because of that sometimes you fall asleep in class and fuck up your grades. You bring them up by staying over night to do extra credit. And what does over night school get you? You guessed it! Exhausted. It physically and mentally drains you. The only person to cheer you up: Namjoon.

"Fucking college and it's stupid tuition. I would be able to breathe if I didn't have to be in this bum ass place. Money, money, money. It's all about money. Fuck money!" you screamed.

"Shut the fuck up!" Namjoon yelled from the closet.

"Suck my dick Joonie! We're fucking leaving!" you stormed from behind the counter and to the 'employee room'.

He was laying on a pile of paper towels. That's his usual spot. You grabbed his hand and practically dragged him out the room until he stood up himself.

Before you wanted to leave, you push down every single rack. Stole a bunch snacks, cigarettes, lighters, and other necessities.

Namjoon joined in. The both of you cursed and yelled with all your might. Letting all your anger out on the poor store.

"I want my fucking friends back an for the love of god give me five fucking hours of sleep!" you yelled as you threw every box of candy off the racks.

"I'm so tired of having no life because of this dumbass place. I want my life back," unlike you Namjoon said that with a reasonable tone. He poured every drink from the fridge onto the floor.

You both continued to express your wrath against the store. You threw everything you could get your hands on. Stomped on bags of chips, the left over from what you didn't steal, anyway. You kept all the stuff you stole in a neat stack.

You took the money from the cash register too. After that you threw every creamed filled thing in the store on the walls and windows. In spray-canned cheese, you wrote 'fuck this place' on each of the fridges that lined the wall. You were done. Namjoon had done the rest of the damage. You had one thing left to say though.

"I'M SO DRAINED. I'M LITERALLY A FUCKING SHELL. I CAN'T FIND MYSELF BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY STUDYING, SMOKING, AND GREETING UGLY ASS, RUDE ASS PEOPLE WITH FAKE ASS SMILES. I DON'T WANT TO BE FAKE ANYMORE. LET ME BREATHE," You just yelled into the air. There was no more that had to be done. The place was completely wrecked. Your throat was raw.

"I'll just tell him we went to unload the milk truck or something when these kids came in and wrecked the place. And then we quit," you said. Your voice cracking with every few words. You should've talked normally like Joonie.

Namjoon just nodded while leaning on a spot on the wall that didn't have cream, dents, or anything on it. His chest was rapidly up and down as he heaved. His hair was all messy, strands going in all different directions. He had his arm crossed which showed off his muscle in his short-sleeve uniform shirt. He looked amazing.

You shook your head and focused on what you were about to do. You called your boss and tried to be as fake as possible.

"Mr. Yung! I'm so sorry! They were so quick," you panted. You wanted to sound like you struggled with the dudes.

"They tore the place up while we were unloading the milk truck. If you get the police involved and they get our fingerprints it's because when we caught them, we tried to stop them. This place is destroyed and I'm pretty sure they stole a lot of stuff. Sorry Mr. Hughes but we quit. We can't stay here after this happened," you hung up before he could say anything.

"Let's go," you picked up all of the snacks and things from the stack you kept neat among the mess that was the store.

Namjoon opened the door to the passenger seat for you. You felt like taking the bus today, so your car wasn't in it's usual space beside his.

As soon as Namjoon drove off, you opened the windows. The cold breeze felt good on your heated skin. You felt so alive.

"Can I smoke?" You asked looking at a tired Namjoon.

"Hell no. Absolutely not. I don't want my car smelling like that shit," he scoffed as if you called his mom out her name.

"Well shit. My bad," you continued to look out the window of the plain fields of tall grass.

"Where are we going?" Namjoon asked.

"Let's go to the dorms first. Get all of our stuff"

"Why? Shouldn't we be like searching for a new job?" he asked.

You chuckled. He's so simple minded.

"Don't you know me Joonie?" you looked to him and ruffled his faded pink hair. He scrunched his face but still looked at the road.

He sighed and removed your hand from his hair. You kept holding onto his hand though. God, you were too excited. You could barely contain yourself. From the way he didn't snatch away from your hold, you knew that he knew you were bubbling with excitement.

"There's a way of getting money without really working," you smirked.

You stood outside the biggest party of the year, Namjoon beside you, with the both of you having maybe about 2,000 each in your hands.

It was the day before testing began and to relieve stress a boy named Jung Hoseok threw the biggest party each year. Well, two years. He's only a Jr. Almost all of the students on campus came. A handful of people stayed home to study. You and Namjoon weren't in that handful.

The both of you stood outside the doors and charged each person 10 dollars. The party was just starting and your pockets were full.

Your heart was pounding so hard. You smiled. You felt so free. You couldn't wait to get all of the money you needed before Hoseok found out.

Namjoon called your name. You looked across the empty hall of the dorm to him. He was leaning against the wall of the other side of the door. You could see his pockets full. You couldn't wait to escape reality with him.

"Don't you think we have enough. I'm tired of looking at these plain ass white walls, dumbass posters talking about what we should do for our living, this plain ass door with 68 cracks in it. Yes, I counted because I'm that fucking bored," he looked at you with annoyance. You smiled. You were so use to him giving you that face.

"We've only just started Joonie. This isn't enough to last us for what I want to do"

"What do you want to do? You know we still have to go to school right?"

"Well after testing we get three weeks off right? Well in that time, I want to travel the world. How much do you have in your savings?"

"Nope, I'm not wasting my savings on that. I'd rather not."

"Fine. I have about 1,500 in mine. That'll get us about 5,500."

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" he cursed and looked at you bewildered, "I hope you know this is not a forever thing. We're only going to be gone for break and we're coming back. Don't go too over board on this."

That dimmed your mood a bit.

"Can I be excited? Shit. I just want to shop and drive. Money dude. Money," you said raising the few bills you had in your hand.

He only shook his head at you. A hint of a smile at his lips.

More and more people came but your legs were getting tired. Both you and Namjoon were standing at the door for hours with more than enough money covering whatever part of your bodies you could fit.

"I'm going home," Namjoon said walking away, stopping to stretch, then walking off again.

You stifled a yawn and followed after him.

"Where are we going?" Namjoon groaned for the 16th time since you've headed out out town.

Which was just an hour ago.

"Shut the fuck up! I told you. We're going everywhere and anywhere. We have bank Joonie. How does 10,000 fucking lagoons sound to you. I don't know how the fuck Hoseok had 1,000 people there but I don't give a shit. We can go anywhere!" You laughed.

You were going crazy for sure.

"You're insane. I swear," he shook his head and looked out the window.

"I know right? You know Joonie, with you being the smart one and I'm the 'insane' one we make a good couple. You should marry me," you winked.

"Maybe I would. Who knows?" He pulled your hand from the steering wheel and held onto it.

You snorted. You heard Namjoon snort too. The both of you couldn't hold it in and burst out laughing.

"Give me my hand back. That was so cheesy. What the hell was that?" You said feeling to exact opposite. Hearing him say that gave you chills that you did not welcome.

"It felt reasonable at the time," he shrugged and once again looked out the window.

"What's so interesting out there? It's only cornfield. What? Are you looking for the children of the corn?"

He chuckled.

"No. Just thinking of where this is taking us," he pursed his lips and screwed his eyebrows.

"Me too."

You were exhausted and miles from anywhere. You've been driving for hours and there was only a slight change in scenery. You fucking hate the country.

"Fuck this," you said to no one since Joonie was sleep beside you.

You pulled over at the side of the road which was really just grass. It kind of creeped you out. What if some animal comes and eat you? Oh well.

"They'll be eating good," you said aloud. This woke Namjoon up.

"Where are we? Why'd you stop," he said still disoriented.

"I don't know and I'm tired. C'mon," you said and opened the car door. It was pretty warm outside considering it was night time.

You sat on the hood of the car and gazed at the stars. They are so addicting.

"Here you go with the stars," Namjoon said sitting beside you.

"You know me so well," you pinched his cheeks.

"Why'd we do this again?" he grabbed your hand. You knew he was serious when he grabbed your hand.

"To escape our shitty lives for just three weeks. Just escape reality really. I wanna make it to Paris," you said still looking in awe at the stars.

"That'll require a plane dumbass."

"Oh yeah," you paused, sort of disappointed, "but still, we have to get out of this place for as long as we can. It's slowing taking all the cells out my body. I fucking hate that place."

You looked ahead while Joonie was silent beside you. Your exhaustion was tugging your eyes but you fought it.

Ahead of you was nothing but grass and fences with sleeping cows behind them. That's what living in the country gets you. Greasy food and outdoors that smell like cow shit.

"What do you hate about that place again?"

"Basically everything. The toxic air. The judgemental people. Everything. But what most bothers me about it is that it reminds me of home. Well, what use to be home," you sighed but shook your head, "what do you hate about that place?"

"Just the fact that it's literally no where. There's one library where we live and all of the books are shitty. I'm pretty sure I've read all of them because the damn place is so small. I have no friends besides you. And having you as my only friend is batshit crazy," you chuckled as he did, "as a kid, I thought that I'd be able to go see the big things that was in the city. As I grew older I started to realize there are no big things there. Just Churches Chicken," you smirked as he that.

"Why does it remind you of home?" He asked after looking at the stars in your eyes for what felt like ages. He was glad you didn't feel his stare piercing your skin.

"You know what my 'home' was. I lived with my parents and grandparents on a farm far from where I live now but still rural as shit. I never want to go back there again. Never," you cringed at the memories that were made at that farm.

You looked at Namjoon who was already staring at you.

"You're ugly," you laughed as he punched your arm. You meant the opposite once again but you couldn't tell him that.

"Ass. I know I'm pretty. They say it's the people who feel ugly that call other people ugly, my friend," he pushed your shoulder and you grabbed his hand.

"I know I'm pretty," you repeated in his low voice. You squeezed his hand and let go of it.

"What are we gonna do when we get back? We have no job," he said after awhile of studying how your eyes darted back and forth and you looked at each star and how you chewed your lip which indicates you want to smoke.

"We'll find one. Trust me."

"Trusting you is a dangerous thing to do," he said in a shaky voice but you only smiled.

You looked over at him and saw him quickly look at the stars.

What was he staring at?

You pushed the thought aside and continued looking at him. He's such a beautiful guy who deserves way more then the world gives him. Deserves someone better then you.

You looked away from him at that thought. You felt like you were ruining him just by staring. Why'd he even agree on coming with you?

The urge to smoke came crashing on you and you looked at Namjoon once again. His eyes slowly started to close but he immediately snapped back awake when he realized it. How was he tired again after sleeping for half the car ride?

"Well, I'm gonna smoke and then sleep so..." you said after watching him doze off. He hates the smell of burning nicotine so you knew he'd leave.

He kissed your cheek long and hard like usual and you tried to contain your chills like usual.

"Don't stay out here too long and stop smoking that shit. You'll die," he said hopping off the hood.

"What if I want to die hmm?"

"Then your gonna have to try harder then just smoking. Goodnight, my little insane one," he nudged your arm before hopping back in the car

"Night" you replied a little after he shut the car door and pulled the cigarettes from your back pocket.

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