#with all of that being said; not me having a whole 6 cis muses out of the whole roster -

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Friday 17 August 1838

6 35

10 5

had Josephine at 7 40 – she said A- had had her bath and seemed better – very fine morning F71 ¼° at 8 10 from then to 9 wrote out yesterday to the bottom of p. 321 breakfast at 9 5 to 11 ¼ having sat reading the paper and talking to Charles and ordering with Josephine about my old Vignemale gaiters and latterly eating a few strawberries perhaps the last we shall have – A- very poorly .:. the horses ordered at 3 ½ to go a little way – afterwards on talking to Charles determined to go to Gèdre, and ordered the horses at 2 – A- if not well enough to go to Gèdre, can go out later – and take Pierre and go in any direction she likes – Cazos likely to be at home today as it rained yesterday and the sooner the matter with him is settled the better – A- had been at breakfast a minute or two before me and looked the picture of sulky ill-temper I hoped she was better   yes pretty well    I said no more but turned to the newspaper in silence tho’ looking as if I never thought of anything but her being ill    I saw she would hurry off   Charles was coming at ten   very sorry she was sso poorly that I thought she could not bear to ride    yes she could   I was very glad of it so ordered as see above  and A- walked off to my great relief    what a temper!  it is malady enough without any other   I shall do the best I can and think of and care for it the least possible I think my present tack is the best  that is   to treat it all as illness never seeming to dream of the possibility of anything else   what can she do or say   when I only condole with her on her illness     she told me only on Wednesday just before going to Luz  she said how much better she was    how much good the baths and doctor Double had done her   I laughed and said well it is my doing   no she never thought without thankfulness of it when she remembered how much it was by accident that she had Double she was always pleased with his giving her no medicine  an English physician would have thought nothing was the matter with her   but to be sure I had come with her here   yes and here she will keep me well or ill tied to her every moment I never dreamt it would be quite so bad   tied forever to such a companion?  nous verrons   now at 12 35 I have just written so far, and am better – Hail! all hail my journal! thou kind beguiler of many an irksome thought and many a solitary hour – thou friend of old! thou faithful mentor that hast calmed alike the burst of joy and grief, and taught my soul to hoard its best resources far from the reach of human gasp!   the following is a verbatim literatim copy of the certificate written by M. Latapis – ‘Je soussigné Henri Cazaux, demeurant à Gèdre, déclare, pour rendre hommage à la vérité, que le sept du mois d’Août courtant j’ai servi de guide à Madame Anne Lister de Shibden-hall, pour l’ascention qu’ elle a fait au pic culminant de Vignemale ledit jour. Elle avait avec elle deux autres guides qu’elle avais pris à Luz (Jean Pierre Charles, et Jean Pierre Sanjou). Je certifie que tous ensemble nous sommes parvenus au point le plus élevé de Vignemale, et que, à ma connaissance, personne plus n’avait jamais monté si haut. En preuve de cette

SH:7/ML/E/21/0169

ascention, il a été dressé une espèce de collone [colonne?] en pierres, dans le milieu de laquelle nous avons placé une bouteille, renfermant un papier oû Madame Lister a écrit le date du Août, son nom et les noms de ses guides ; cette preuve matérielle durera long-temps, si quelqu’autre voyageur aussi intrépide que Madame Lister ne va détruire ca petit monument.

En foi de quoi à Gèdre le 17 d’Août

Signé en présence  de     Cazaus [Hij]

Alaubon

Jean-Pierre Charles et Jean Pierre Sanjou, Soussignés, attestent la vérité des faits rapportés dans la déclaration ci-dessus.

fait à Luz le 17 d’Août 1838.

Charles

 how droll that the prince de la Moscowa should have unwittingly put me upon narrowing his own purpose! – I thought not of certificate – nor cared more for mounting the Vignemale than Mt. Perdu the ascent of which last mountain nobody believes – what mattered it to me – I made each ascent for my own pleasure, not for éclat – what is éclat to me? what is éclat to anyone? too often a dangerous bauble – the lightnings’ forked flash that kills the object it has fixed on – But come what may I’ll make an effort to tear the Cazos-laurier from this silly prince – ‘Hommage à la vérité’! ‘tis all I want – and I am not inclined me laisser tromper pour rien – tis now 1 ¾ pm and F73° in my cool cupboard – A- too poorly to go out at 2 – Pierre to come again at 4 – I left her lying down and was off with Charles at 2 20 to Gèdre – overtook a drunken berger about ½ way between St. Sauveur and the Pont de Sia and could not get rid of him till he turned up ½ way between the Ponts de Sia and [Douroucate] to go after his masters’ bétail on the Mt. de Mâle beyond the Bué – he and his master had drank 4 litres of wine at Luz. he walked unsteadily but safely, and his motions reminded me of those of drunken men in general but of the queer roll of his hips and shoulders and head that I have some often seen in poor Eliza Raine – I mused on this as I rode close behind him and Charles who said his conversation tho’ incessant was reasonable he observed on the new carriage road began since we went to Spain to go to Gavarnie that if cows or oxen were drawing a load along the precipitous part they would probably throw themselves and their load into the gave – he regretted there were no cabarets on his road as if there were he could drink a great deal more wine – we watched him along the precipitous part of the road he had to go just after leaving us – he got on quite well the cool air of the mountains and the perspiration he was in from walking would probably sober him before very long – as we went to Luz on Tuesday observed several men at work (1st time of our seeing them) beginning the new road (that is to avoid Luz) to St. Sauveur – at Gèdre at 4 20 Cazos at home sent for him to the Inn as also for the aubergiste himself who was at the Douane, and for his brother-in-law who was with him – I ordered wine and bread and cheese for them all, and, leaving my tartan cloak upstairs, went down into the kitchen, and staid with them all the whole time – It was sometime before Cazos came and we had talked over the leading particulars of my ascent – Cazos came perhaps in 10 minutes or ¼ hour and then joined heartily in talking the story over in everything agreeing with and confirming the statement of Charles and myself – I told him my femme de chambre had told me the people at Luz would not believe that I had got to the top but gave the laurier to the prince de la Moscowa – that was not right – I must have some proof to shew and Cazos and Charles and Pierre must sign me the certificate which I then read aloud – and Cazos, and then the aubergiste read it – Cazos made not the least objection to sign it – declared fully and openly that all I and Charles had said was true, and that I had got up to the very top and got up very well too – Cazos then signed and Charles, and the aubergiste saying was maire and could not sign these things his brother-in-law signed as witness and I paid Cazos the twenty francs as agreed, and said I, now you asked me 30/. on the Piméné – here there are five fr. more which with the 5/. I gave you on the top = 30/. and here is a 2fr. piece to go for what I was to give you on the top to drink my health – Cazos seemed much pleased – I desired him to consider the 5/. piece I had just given him to be for taking care, of my column and bottle at the top of the mountain – to see that nobody either destroyed the bottle or raised a column higher than mine – I then told him to drink his wine, and turning to the aubergiste said, Monsieur le maire, je ne demande pas ce que je vous dois pour le vin (I had just called for a 2nd bottle good vin ordinaire) mais voilà...... on which I put into his hand 2 five fr. pieces – this was too much for him

vid. line 4.   21 next page

to resist – his heart opened – he said I paid en prince (and in a whisper adding et meme plus) and said significantly mais je connais beaucoup de choses – vous avez bien payé – vous devez être traité avec bravoure – on this I begged him to tell me some of the things he knew – and in the midst of his fighting off Charles had taken poor Cazos to task about his letter to the prince and here a scene commenced of pro and con – Cazos denied having written that I had not gone to the top – I said if Cazos had been calumniated I would stand by him – all joining in begging Cazos to face the prince and have all cleared up – at last M. le maire explained that if Cazos had written as Charles declared his letter would prove, he had done it for money for his family – le mond was hard pressed here, and he hoped I should excuse the man who had made me all the reparation in his power...... poor Cazos owned his fault, and all present agreed to forgive and M. le maire our aubergiste promised to intercede with the prince and hoped I should do nothing against poor Cazos – no! said and held out my hand to the poor man, saying je ne [sens] que de regrets pour conduit envers moi – c’est une affaire d’honneur et je lui arracherai ce laurier à tout prix – rien ne me manqué pour bien le faire – j’air de l’arme, et de force, et de l’argent, et je n’en épargnerai rien – je lui arracherai ce laurier – the aubergiste agreed with me as to the petitesse of the prince’s declaration that he would not make the ascension if I had done it – and that it was not well to engage Cazos for Wednesday whether the weather was fine or not

SH:7/ML/E/21/0170

when it was known that I had engaged him for the 1st fine day – the prince thus compelling me to hurry my ascension – besides tho’ he had engaged Cazos for the Wednesday he the price still waited the arrival and did not go up till the Saturday – I hope, as I said to Cazos, that the prince had paid him much better than I had done – I saw the aubergists’ significant look – probably his princeship did not pay the man better –

vid. line 21. next page

we had now being above 1 ¼ hour – there had been a stranger (a guide? who said he had heard the prince say he would not go up if I had gone up) present a little while at 1st and 3 or 4 women – judging from A-‘s manner on my return from Mr. Latapis yesterday that being too late for dinner today would be terrible I bade Charles make hast and leaving behind me, as it seemed, the cordial approbation of all present Charles and I were off on our way back at 5 40 – the aubergiste (Mr. Palasset, maire) had said he recognised me on 1st seeing me again and said he was sure I should ascend the Vignemale – yes! said Charles he knew of our ascending Mt. Perdu – Charles! said I, il faut se depêcher – Mademoiselle ne voudra pas diner sans moi – poor Charles set off at trot, and kept my little mare at such a high jolt pace, that we were obliged to pull up for 2 or 3 minutes to read just my combs qui avaient grande envie de s’échapper – yet [not] withstanding this stoppage we came up with A- at the Pont de Douroucate at 5 8, and, passing by the Pont de [Soutant], alighted at home (having trotted almost all the way) at 7 5 – on meeting A- I had at the moment literally forgotten all about her poorliness, and was beginning to tell her all that happened when her manner at once refreshed my memory and I refrained from fatiguing her by saying more – Had Josephine – shewed her the certificate that she might be able to say she had seen it if she chose and that she knew for certain that I had made the ascent – dinner at 7 35 at 8 ½ - on telling A- I had ordered the horses at two tomorrow (Charles wanting to get some hay home from his grange on the Bergonz had asked me to give him till twelve but this I did not name to A-

she made no answer   too soon? said I   she replied crossly it was useless to ask when I had ordered them and that I ordered everything without consulting her   no said I gently I am of a very different opinion   but when I ask you you always tell me to do as I like  she denied this    very well said I   then you had better order in future it is indifferent to me unless when I myself have something particular to do   when I shall order for myself and you can order for yourself    and here the conversation ended   she soon after went to her room and I saw no more of her   she will die of bad temper?

came to our rooms at 8 ½ - fine day – threatening rain this evening after meeting A- but held off – F71 ¼° now at 8 38 – on the shred of paper (common English thin foolscap about 1/8 of the shut) was written as follows

Mercredi 7 Aout [Août] à 1houre pm

Madame Lister de Shibden-hall

Avec ses trois guides

Henri Cazos de Gèdre

Jean Pierre Charles de Luz

Jean Pierre Sanjou de Luz

sat musing sometime before getting into bed – thought first time of Glasgow as a place of cheap ins[t]ructive residence till I can properly settle my affairs    nil desperandum -

[tenderedsouls]

            *     hi friends  !  i'm  kofi  , twenty3 , and i prefer either she / her or they / them pronouns  !  i've been looking for a cute town rp to join , and i'm so glad i came across irving . i'm graduating from college this semester  (  finally  !  ) , so excuse me if i'm a little scatterbrained at times  !  i just know that i'll eventually bring more muses to the group , but i figured that one was enough for my plate right now  (  and i'm ridiculously picky and will spend hours making up my mind  )  .  that being said , jinhyuk is a brand new muse straight out of the box , so please forgive me if he strays from his intro  !  i can't wait to read about everyone's muses , and i especially can't wait to build connections with everyone ! 

            *     ahn hyo seop , cis man + he / him | you know jinhyuk shin , right ? they're twenty five , and they've lived in irving for , like , their whole life ? well , their spotify wrapped says they've listened to swear to god by blackbear like , a million times this year which makes sense 'cause they've got that whole warm aroma of cedar and patchouli lingering on his skin , a bedside journal filled with nonsensical writings , and boisterous laughter followed by reddened cheeks thing going on . i just checked and their birthday is december 10th, so they're a sagittarius , which is unsurprising , all things considered .

001.  DOSSIER  .

           name  :  shin  jin  hyuk  .  nicknames  :  jin  ,  primarily  .  only  called  jinnie  by  his  mother  .  date  of  birth  :  december  10th,  1995  .  zodiac  :  sagittarius  .  birthplace  :  irving  ,  north  carolina  (  raised  on  orion  avenue  )  .  orientation  :  bisexual  ,  biromantic  .  residence  :  irving  ,  north  carolina  (  port  apartments  )  .  occupation  :  accountant  for  kahlo’s  café  and  graduate  student  .  height  :  188cm  (  6′2″  )  .  mother  :  shin  aera  (  adoptive  ;  high  school  mandarin  teacher  )  .  father  :  shin  hangyeol  (  adoptive  ;  emergency  medicine  nurse  )  .  positives  :  benevolent  ,  educated  ,  independent  ,  liberal  ,  passionate  ,  and  romantic  .  neutral  :  moralistic  ,  boyish  ,  mellow  ,  private  ,  restrained  ,  and  unaggressive  .  negative  :  hesitant  ,  timid  ,  cautious  ,  boisterous  ,  clumsy  ,  and  gullible  .  likes  :  iced  americano  ,  ballpoint  pens  ,  roasted  carrots  ,  rainy  days  ,  a  too  warm  apartment  ,  lazy  sundays  ,  sugar  donuts  ,  bubble  tea  ,  and  cancelled  lectures  .  dislikes  :  essay  word  minimums  ,  too  hot  summers  ,  too  loud  music  ,  fireworks  ,  black  coffee  ,  his  sensitivity  ,  and  itchy  sweaters  .  dressing  style  :  best  described  as  lazy  yet  stylish  .  consists  primarily  of  shackets  ,  sweatshirts  ,  denim  jeans  ,  and  ankle  cropped  dress  pants  .  as  someone  constantly  on  his  feet  ,  he  has  a  few  trusty  sneakers  that  get  him  across  campus  .  it  is  rare  to  see  him  in  track  /  sweatsuits  as  he  can  be  self - conscious  about  his  appearance  .  markings  :  a  scar  on  his  left  elbow  from  falling  through  a  fence  at  eight  years  old  and  a  faded  scar  on  his  eyebrow  from  running  into  a  tree  branch  at  ten  years  old  .

002  .  BACKSTORY  .

            it’s  december  of  1995  when  jinhyuk  is  born  to  parents  who  don’t  want  him  or  have  the  funds  to  raise  him  .  for  the  better  part  of  six  months  ,  he  is  raised  in  a  local  orphanage  until  he’s  nearly  a  year  old  ,  and  is  adopted  by  shin  aera  and  her  husband  ,  hangyeol  .  the  couple  are  in  their  early  thirties  at  the  time  of  jinhyuk’s  adoption  ,  and  he  has  never  made  the  effort  to  look  for  his  ‘birth’  parents  ,  even  though  aera  and  hangyeol  have  asked  if  he  would  like  to  .  the  couple  raise  their  son  in  a  relatively  normal  and  peaceful  household  on  orion  avenue  ,  and  despite  not  having  siblings  ,  jinhyuk  grows  up  to  be  a  warm  yet  tenderhearted  person  .  

            growing  up  ,  jinhyuk  is  a  boy  who  wears  his  heart  on  his  sleeve  .  it’s  relatively  tough  for  him  to  make  friends  during  his  early  adolescent  years  as  he  grows  a  little  too  fast  for  his  body  to  catch  up  with  ,  and  finds  himself  tripping  over  his  feet  when  hanging  out  with  other  kids  .  on  top  of  that  ,  due  to  his  asthma  ,  it’s  hard  for  him  to  keep  up  with  the  other  kids  of  irving  as  they  explore  the  places  where  he’s  not  supposed  to  be  ,  often  needing  to  stop  for  puffs  from  his  inhaler  .  eventually  ,  jinhyuk  gives  up  on  trying  to  be  an  adventurous  child  ,  and  instead  finds  solace  in  making  friends  who  are  more  interested  in  books  ,  writing  ,  video  games  ,  and  anything  that  doesn’t  involve  getting  his  sneakers  stuck  in  the  mud  .  

            it’s  during  his  high  school  years  when  jinhyuk  finally  grows  into  his  own  .  a  handsome  boy  with  wide  eyes  ,  jinhyuk  has  found  a  niche  of  people  that  he’s  comfortable  with  and  even  finds  love  for  the  first  time  when  he’s  sixteen  .  the  new  love  is  almost  overwhelming  for  jinhyuk  as  he  had  never  experienced  such  a  love  before  .  it  lasts  for  a  little  over  a  year  and  a  half  ,  and  it’s  a  love  that  jinhyuk  has  been  unable  to  forget  .  eventually  ,  jinhyuk  graduates  from  irving’s  local  high  school  and  moves  away  to  attend  college  in  ‘  the  big  city  ’  .  jinhyuk  obtains  his  bachelor’s  degree in  economics  ,  and  moves  back  home  following  graduation  .  he  takes  a  gap  year  ,  and  during  that  time  he  takes  on  the  position  of  accountant  for  kahlo’s  café  .

            since  then  ,  jinhyuk  has  been  working  job  and  living  with  his  persian  cat  named  duri  .  he  primarily  works  from  home  as  his  job  isn’t  necessarily  one  that’s  needed  in  house  ,  so  he  spends  a  lot  of  time  exploring  new  hobbies  and  half  finishing  books  that  remain  placed  all  around  his  apartment  .  he  has  far  too  many  plants  that  are  in  need  of  water  ,  and  gets  annoyed  when  the  tourists  come  to  town  because  the  beach  is  too  crowded  and  cutie  pie’s  never  has  available  seating  .

003  .  PERSONALITY  .

           as  an  adult  ,  jinhyuk  is  someone  who  tries  not  to  step  on  toes  and  stays  in  his  own  lane  .  he’s  not  someone  who  invokes  arguments  and  he  doesn’t  really  diffuse  them  either  ,  so  you  could  say  that  he’s  a  neutral  party  in  most  situations  .  he  could  be  considered  as  something  of  a  romantic  as  well  as  a  hopeless  romantic  ,  but  he  doesn’t  necessarily  look  for  love  as  he  believes  that  if  he’s  meant  to  fall  in  love  again  then  it  will  happen  when  the  time  is  right  .  jinhyuk  is  soft  spoken  and  he  can  be  relatively  sociable  when  he  wants  to  be  .  sometimes  ,  if  provoked  enough  ,  he  can  be  a  little  snippy  or  rude  ,  but  it’s  a  rare  chance  that  he  is  unless  he  truly  doesn’t  get  along  with  someone  .

            he  likes  early  morning  walks  as  they  allow  him  the  chance  to  think  without  much  disturbance  ,  and  finds  comfort  with  being  by  himself  .  believes  in  taking  himself  on  ‘dates’  and  eats  too  much  pasta  to  be  considered  as  anything  other  than  a  6′2″  piece  of  rigatoni  .  

004  .  CONNECTIONS  .

i  am  open  to  fulfilling  anything  that  you’re  looking  for  ,  and  i’m  also  open  to  working  based  on  chemistry  !

a  best  friend  would  be  nice  🥺  or  i’ll  cry

his  !  first  !  love  !  jinhyuk  experienced  literally  every  first  with  this  person  (  first  kiss  ,  first  time  ,  first  everything  )  and  he  hasn’t  really  gotten  over  them  despite  their  relationship  happening  in  high  school  .

he’s  not  much  of  a  hookup  person  ,  but  that’s  not  to  say  that  it’s  impossible  for  him  to  have  one  or  two  .

platonic  soulmates  !  borderline  best  friends  ,  but  also  teetering  over  the  line  of  being  confidants  .

someone  who  flirts  with  him  but  he’s  absolutely  oblivious  to  it  .  this  could  be  done  either  romantically  or  platonically  .

perhaps  someone  he  has  a  crush  on  ?  he  doesn’t  voice  his  crush  on  them  because  it’s  a  new  feeling  of  love  all  over  again  ,  and  he  doesn’t  make  the  effort  to  even  tell  friends  about  it  .

anyone  else  who  works  at  kahlo’s  pls  raise  your  hand  🥺  and  may  they  be  worK  FRIENDS  I’M  BEGGING  

i’m  sure  i’ll  add  more  ,  but  this  is  what  i  have  for  now  !  it’s  nearly  2am  and  i  didn’t  eat  dinner  so  ..  embarrassing  luv  .

#irvingintro #pls excuse the page being on dash only for now #i'm still editing and such ! #this took a lil longer than expected #i have a short attention span PLS call me out on it

[edisacornball]

If I don’t do this the instant I’ve noticed it, then I will inevitably forget about it (thanks ADHD) so I guess we’re doing this right now, haha. 

1. name/nickname: Theodore/Ed (I know, I know. Believe me, it was an unintentional thing that happened when I changed my name. I literally just picked the male version of my deadname, and then life happened and I got nicknamed Ed, and... It’s a long story and no one cares, but yeah.)

2. gender: Male... ish. Nonbinary, but I use he/him pronouns most frequently and I usually just let the cis people around me make assumtions because I am tired. 

3. star sign: Scorpio

4. height: 5′8″

5. time: Currently 9:30pm

6. birthday: It’s in October. That’s all I’m putting out. 

7. favorite bands/groups: Imagine Dragons is my top fave, and then probably They Might Be Giants and Muse. 

8. favorite solo artist: Mmm... Adam Young?

9. song stuck in my head: Currently? Panic Station by Muse

10. last movie: Pursuit of Happyness (I know I said this answer last time, but I don’t watch things that often, okay?)

11. last show: I actually just started Gilmore Girls today because it was pointed out that I’m writing a story about a teenage girl named Rory and her single parent and they have Gilmore Girls vibes, SO. Research. 

12. when did i create this blog: Oh gosh. Um. *checks notes* 2013?? But admittedly, I left it alone for a long while and only came back recently, Oct 2020.

13. what do i post: FMA, writing, social justice stuff

14. last thing googled: “how to group chat on discord” I’m OLD, OKAY??

15. other blogs: Remember that thing about ADHD and me forgetting stuff? Yeah. I can’t handle more than one blog, lol. 

16. do i get asks: Very, very occasionally! I’m always happy to interact with people and such, I’m just used to feeling like a bother/annoyance too. 

17. why did i choose this url: Originally this was an RP blog, and I wanted to stand out from all the cool edgy Eds, because I preferred just being... silly. Little did I know everyone would end up asking me what a “cornball” is for eternity. (You know how being corny means being silly? Yeah. A cornball is that, but a person.)

18. following: 259

19. followers: 316 (I think a large majority of those are deactivated by now with my super long absence and all)

20. average hours of sleep: Either way too much or way too little. 

21. lucky number: 14

22. instruments: Viola since I was ten

23. what am i wearing: Uhh.... *glances down at self* Red hoodie, black sweatpants, really lazy ponytail? Oh, and fox socks. Because foxes. 

24. dream job: Literally at this point, just a job that doesn’t overwork me for too little pay and actually sees me as human? 

25. dream trip: Just a really, really long road trip. Like a whole year just going everywhere and anywhere. Just living in an RV or something.

26. favorite food: Beef stroganoff

27. nationality: American

28. favorite song: Once Upon a December

29. last book read: ...FMA manga. I’m researching, alright? 

30. three fictional universes you’d like to live in: I’m good. My spouse is here, and anywhere without them wouldn’t feel like home. And any fictional world with them wouldn’t really matter because I could be happy and comfortable anywhere if they were there. 

Thanks to @envythepalmtree for thinking of me! I’m not going to tag anyone because that’s too many brain cells right now, but if you’d like to do it and blame me, go for it. 

#real life

[platedgolds]

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎.

hi,   friends   !   i’m   admin   fox   (   23.   she/they.   brt.   )   and   i’m   so   excited   to   get   this   going   !   it’s   been   a   wild   journey   to   make   this   group   happen   but   everyone   seems   so   nice   and   all   of   your   muses   are   so   interesting   it’s   def   all   worth   it   !   this   is   romeo   dubois,   my   himbo   baby   and   all   around   hot   mess.   if   you’d   like   to   plot   with   him,   please   feel   free   to   message   me   on   discord   at   pedro pascal stan blog#9349   or   send   me   your   discord   @   and   i’ll   message   you   there   !

*                     SEBASTIAN   STAN   +   CIS   MALE   +   HE/HIM   ——   have   you   seen   ROMEO   DUBOIS   around?   they’re   a   THIRTY-SIX   year   old   PHYSICAL   EDUCATION   TEACHER   known   around   town   as   the   LOOSE   CANON.   not   only   are   they   broke   af,   but   they’ve   been   in   town   for   SIX   YEARS.   they’re   LOYAL   +   LAID-BACK,   as   well   as   CHILDISH   +   UNHINGED,   but   what   else   would   you   expect   from   an   ARIES?   low-hanging   grey   sweatpants.   back   muscles.   a   beer   bottled   tucked   on   the   back   pocket   of   a   pair   of   jeans.

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘.

romeo   was   born   in   eldora   to   two   very   absent   parents;   they   were   one   of   the   few   middle   class   families   in   town,   with   his   mother   always   traveling   for   work   and   his   father   at   home,   drowning   himself   in   alcohol.   from   an   early   age,   romeo   was   left   to   his   own   devices;   he   was   the   one   who   raised   his   brother   even   though   he   was   still   just   a   child   himself   when   cain   was   born,   with   no   skill   or   mental   capacity   to   take   care   of   himself   let   alone   an   infant. 

his   parents’   marriage   was   in   shambles;   the   whole   town   often   spoke   about   how   unfaithful   mrs.   dubois   was,   and   how   her   husband   only   stood   by   her   side   because   of   the   money   she   made.   romeo   was   too   young   to   understand   what   ‘cheating’   meant   when   the   rumors   first   started,   but   he   still   got   into   plenty   of   fights   by   the   time   he   entered   his   teens   and   the   infamy   of   his   mother’s   choices   were   echoed   throughout   high   school   bleachers

it   didn’t   take   long   before   people   started   recognizing   romeo   as   one   of   the   trouble   makers   in   town;   his   anger   against   his   parents   and   the   horrible   situation   they   forced   upon   him   made   its   way   out   of   his   chest   with   the   blink   of   an   eye,   lashing   out   at   everyone   and   anyone   he   could.   in   the   height   of   his   teenagehood,   romeo   knew   the   name   of   every   single   cop   in   eldora’s   precinct.   he   got   into   so   many   fights   it   was   hard   to   see   romeo   without   a   bruise   on   his   face,   got   drunk   and   wrecked   his   car   more   times   than   anyone   could   ever   count,   and   he   even   spent   a   few   nights   in   a   cell   after   a   particular   incident   involving   the   break   in   of   several   homes   around   town.   still,   people   pitied   the   kid,   and   many   would   leave   him   off   the   hook   no   matter   what   kind   of   bad   trouble   he   got   into.

despite   his   bad   manners   and   constant   anger,   romeo   excelled   in   sports.   more   specifically   ice   hockey,   which   he   had   to   take   a   bus   three   towns   over   to   be   able   to   practice   every   week;   he   loved   the   freedom   of   the   skates,   and   he   was   large   and   violent   enough   to   be   unstoppable   in   the   rink.   his   prowess   caught   the   eye   of   many,   and   by   the   time   romeo   was   legal   to   drink   he   was   shoved   in   an   airplane   and   taken   to   canada   where   he   could   practice   and   properly   excel   in   his   craft.

by   the   age   of   twenty-three,   romeo   was   back   in   the   united   states   playing   for   the   jersey   devils,   a   team   he   wasn’t   too   proud   of,   but   it   paid   the   bills   and   it   brought   him   the   notoriety   he   felt   like   he   truly   deserved.

by   the   age   of   twenty-seven,   romeo   dubois   was   captain   of   the   chicago   blackhawks   and   making   more   money   than   he   could   ever   know   what   to   do   with   it.   twenty-seven   was   also   the   year   he   got   married   to   the   victoria’s   secret   angel   he’d   met   just   eight   months   prior;   anyone   that   has   ever   met   romeo   will   say   he   peaked   in   his   late   20s,   though   he   would   say   they   were   the   most   miserable   years   he’s   ever   had.

it   all   came   crumbling   down   on   his   29th   birthday,   when   romeo   was   arrested   in   chicago   for   a   car   accident   that   nearly   took   the   life   of   a   young   mother;   he   had   two   male   escorts   and   over   a   pound   of   cocaine   in   his   car,   and   even   though   his   lawyers   managed   to   bribe   his   way   into   a   short   six   months   prison   sentence,   the   media   wasn’t   so   kind.   romeo   lost   his   job,   lost   his   reputation   and   managed   to   lose   every   single   penny   he   had   once   his   wife   divorced   him.

once   romeo   was   out   of   jail,   he   had   no   place   to   go   other   than   eldora.   he’s   been   back   into   town   for   six   years,   working   as   a   p.e.   teacher   at   the   local   high   school   solely   because   the   principal   was   a   family   friend   that   pulled   many   strings   to   get   him   the   position.   he   currently   lives   in   the   dingy   motel   in   the   outskirts   of   town,   spending   most   of   his   time   drunk   and   high---   and   for   a   man   who   swore   he’d   never   be   like   his   father,   romeo’s   had   never   been   more   wrong. 

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄.

literal   himbo.   that’s   it,   that’s   his   personality.   hot   &   stupid,   absolutely   joey   tribbiani   kinda   guy--   you   know,   if   joey   was   an   asshole   and   not   the   absolute   sweetheart   he   is.

v   selfish,   will   do   whatever   it   takes   to   make   sure   he   comes   out   on   top   of   every   situation.   still,   if   he   thinks   someone   is   worthy   of   his   loyalty,   he’ll   stick   by   them   no   matter   what.

big   liar.   seriously.   has   no   qualms   about   making   shit   up   on   the   spot   so   that   his   narrative   is   the   one   being   told;   damn   good   actor,   too.

big   hoe   (   it   runs   in   the   family,   the   bad   tongues   would   say.   ),   will   sleep   with   anyone   as   long   as   they’re   paying   attention   to   him   for   long   enough.

he   was   in   the   closet   his   entire   career,   and   now   that   he’s   been   shoved   out   of   it   romeo   has   no   intention   of   going   back---   calls   himself   gay   as   hell   way   too   much   for   someone   who’s   actually   bi.

6′3,   broad   shoulders   and   still   with   an   athletic   build   even   if   he   doesn’t   play   anymore;   romeo’s   far   too   shallow   to   let   himself   go,   even   if   working   out   nowadays   kills   a   little   bit   of   his   soul   every   time.

covered   in   tattoos,   with   a   well   trimmed   beard   and   hair   styled   perfectly   so   that   it   looks   messy   enough;   romeo   has   the   ‘i   look   like   i   just   woke   up   and   yet   it   took   me   three   hours   to   get   ready’   nonchalant   look   down   to   the   t.

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

a   party   friend   ---   romeo’s   only   likable   when   he’s   drunk;   thankfully,   that   seems   to   be   the   case   most   of   the   time.   this   person   only   comes   around   when   they   want   to   get   drunk   or   high,   and   of   course   romeo’s   always   ready   to   take   it   up   a   notch.

a   best   friend   ---   they   are   always   on   each   other’s   corner;      this   is   someone   that   sees   romeo   for   who   he   really   is   instead   of   the   bad   guy   façade   he   wears,   and   loves   him   despite   his   flaws;   maybe   they   even   lived   together   for   a   while   when   romeo   first   came   back   into   town?   could   be   a   childhood   friendship   or   something   new.

a   protege   ---   for   one   reason   or   another,   romeo   has   deemed   this   person   worthy   of   caring   for   and   protecting   with   his   life.   like   a   momma   bear,   except   you’re   not   a   bear   cub   and   he   certainly   doesn’t   know   how   to   care   for   anyone.   could   be   funny   if   this   was   clearly   someone   that   doesn’t   need   protecting.

a   one   night   stand   ---   like   a   said,   big   hoe.   maybe   romeo   and   this   person   that   a   night   together   (   or   more   than   one   )   and   he   simply   never   called   back   ?   probably   doesn’t   even   remember   about   it,   acts   as   if   it   never   happened;   could   be   fun   if   they   had   been   friends   beforehand.

an   ex   ---   they   were   pretty   serious   at   one   point,   maybe   even   lived   together   ?   and   then   romeo   fucked   things   up;   it   was   definitely   a   self-sabotaging   thing,   where   he   felt   like   he   was   too   close   to   happiness   and   subconsciously   couldn’t   allow   himself   such   a   thing.   maybe   he   cheated,   or   maybe   he   started   picking   fights   for   every   single   small   thing,   or   hell,   maybe   he   even   started   ghosting   them   and   spending   the   nights   away   from   home.   whatever   he   needed   to   do   to   get   them   to   break   up   with   him.

a   hate   fuck   ---   they   hate   each   other,   but   they   can’t   keep   their   clothes   on   around   each   other   either;   every   argument   ends   up   in   heated   sex,   and   at   this   point   they   aren’t   sure   if   they’re   fighting   because   they   can’t   stand   the   other,   or   if   they’re   doing   it   because   they   know   where   it’ll   end. 

a   fan   ---   someone   that   knew   him   from   his   time   as   a   hockey   player   !   romeo   def   feels   very   uncomfortable   around   them,   a   constant   reminder   of   the   good   life   he’s   lost.

friends   of   all   kinds   ---   romeo’s   a   social   butterfly   on   his   good   days,   so   give   him   all   sorts   of   friends   !   co-workers,   old   friends,   some   new.   anything   !

#eldora.intro

[comfcrt]

rome flynn   ,   cis male.  ,   he & him.   ––   if you hang outside of the rits for long enough , you might catch dominic davis leaving. you know , the twenty-eight year old model   ?  i hear they’re in apartment 13B and have lived here at the rits for one year.  tenants seem to deem them as rits’ resident dynamo , seems pretty fitting to me.   &   perfecting his daughters pigtails , long photoshoots , charming smiles , posing for paparazzi pictures , & hidden guilty pleasures. 

hello   ,   hello.   ––      gray   again.   pleased   to   introduce   you   to   my   second   character   ,   dominic   davis.      a   kind   man   with   a   beautiful   smile   &   an   adorable   daughter.   much   more   likable   than   mattias   ,   i’ll   admit.      i   don’t   remember   if   i   said   this   last   time   ,   but   if   you   like   either   of   my   intros   you’re   signing   a   permanent   contact   to   plot   with   me      ––      sorry   :/

basic statistics :

name : dominic jamal davis - nic , dj. 

age : twenty - eight.

occupation : model.

orientation : bisexual  ( privately ) 

hometown : hoboken , nj. 

appearance :

faceclaim : rome flynn.

height : 6′0

build : muscular

style : casual gym wear at home , business casual when out. 

background  &  personality. death & pregnancy mentions. 

dominic grew up to a single mother in hobeken , new jersey.  they didn’t have much growing up , but she loved her son with her whole heart  &  did anything she could take make sure he was raised right.  nic never had a dad in the picture  ,  but he never felt like he needed one because his mom provided him with everything he needed.

they struggled a lot of most of nic’s life , he started working a few odd jobs when he was starting high school just to bring home some money for his mom.  it wasn’t a lot , but it helped. nic didn’t really spend a whole lot of time focusing on school  ––  he’s quiet smart , but he always feels like he missed out on some education and it always trying to further his intelligence as an adult. 

when he was nearing his twenties , he was working as a mechanic.  graduated high school but never went to college & immediately started a trade to bring home money for his mom.  still lived at home and wanted to be able to take care of her.  worked long , long hours & was running himself dry.  also , very good with his hands. wink wink.

anyway. in the next few years , dom started to post casually on instagram.  it wasn’t really for any specific reason , but just because he’s a confident guy and wanted to post on social media.  a famous celebrity got ahold on his picture & posted it on their social asking who he was.  then ensued a crazy journey for nic.

death tw.  he signed on with a modeling company & commuted half an hour to manhattan to work.  quit his job as a mechanic & just took the leap , which was a risk but he decided to take it.  spent a lot of time in new york & away from home , lots of overnight stays and long nights working but it was paying off.  within this time that he was focused on building his career , his mom had fallen ill.  after only a year or two of nic being in the modeling scene , she had passed. 

death tw.  losing his mom was super hard on him and he decided to take a break from modeling for a year.  his manager advised against it , heavily against it , but he knew that he needed to take time for himself to grieve. after his year break , he decided to get back into modeling , which was a pretty big times news tabloid - nic davis back in the modeling scene ! 

pregnancy tw. and then , not too long after he decides he’s going to be back into the lime light , he finds out that he’s going to be a father.  one night stands aren’t usually his thing , but as he was getting back into the scene of things , he ended up hooking up with ciara at a party & found out that she was pregnant.  growing up without a dad , nic knew that he wasn’t going to be that. so , he moved into the rits to be closer to his daughter & has spent the last year trying to be a good dad.  their daughter is truly the cutest  &  nic spoils the hell out of her. 

to sum up this long ass background , nic is just a kid from new jersey who got lucky & has an adorable daughter.

y’all can keep ur daddy jokes , i can hear them in my head already. keep them !!!!  (  but its ok . i see him . i get it . )

okay i’m separating personality bc that was long as fuck.

nic looks like he would be an asshole player ––  comes off like he kinda sucks & a lot of people assume that he’s a dick. however , he is quite kind & generally a nice dude. he knows he looks like that & will take advantage of that for career gains , but never personal. 

his smile really could change the world. it’s so bright. so pretty.

anyway.  his mom raised him to be kind & respectful and he tries really hard to be that  ––  just wants to be a good guy who makes people happy. 

however , he’s not a pushover.  will easily stand up for himself & anyone he cares about. 

label is the dynamo because he’s very much that type of person  ––  energetic , indefatigable  ––  gets shit done.  very focused and on point with anything he has in his mind.  super impulsive , doesn’t really think about he makes big life decisions. 

he is a huge romantic at heart but is pretty bad at dating , he either gets bored or gets a little insecure & nothing every seems to last for him but he loves the idea of love & just wants to have a family. also feels like being a single dad is something people won’t like. 

also ! dominic is bisexual but it’s not something he’s ever shown in public or showcased – i wouldn’t say he’s closeted , but he’s also not out. 

oh ! and he’s very proudly afro - cuban. felt like that was important to add. 

wanted connections. 

anything , honestly.

he grew up in hoboken which is very close to the city , so anyone who grew up in the area. 

exes : i imagine he’s dated quiet a bit in the last few years , so this could vary in all sorts of ways.

private fwb / ex : a male that he dated or was sleeping with but kept it private because he’s not out. 

best friend : can y’all tell i love best friend connections ? this would be someone who helped him especially in the year his mom passed.

enemies : can someone just hate this good hearted man please 

model friends : anyone else in the modeling industry , maybe they modeled together before.

other industry friends : maybe he modeled for your muses respective job ( music video , website , etc ). 

anything !

#rits.intro #death tw #pregnancy tw #this got ... long as fuck im sorry

[legacyofabsolutewalnuts]

@swtorpadawan tagged me in this meme, and I am hella into it. This is my favourite musing bc swtor in the canon of star wars is fucking hilarious. On a side note, for anyone who does this and chose only one oc, but has thoughts about the others oh my god do and let me know. Im a snoopy bish give them all to me. In this case I’m going to try to keep it brief while covering my main four, Viticalia, Thomsyn, Belville and Montym. Partly bc I’ve been thinking about their dynamics for a joint Alliance Commander AU lately

This got really long, bc I couldn’t choose one, and Im a wordy bish, so I’ve put the actual answers under the cut, so as not to kill everyones dashes

What would your OC do if they were thrown through time and into Star Wars the Clone Wars:

1. Who would they fight for?

I think most of them would either end up going independent or siding with the Republic. Montym and Belville would actually be the most likely to commit to the Republic, they’re both two people who value loyalty and understand that sometimes things need to be changed from the inside out. Thomsyn I think would stay with the Republic, but may end up with the Grey Jedi. She isn’t inclined to this whole “just peacekeepers” deal and would want to take the fight to the Sith directly. Viticalia would be an independent, committing to neither except for who would pay her most, or just destroy the CIS and take her place at the top of it. She would not be willing to submit to being ordered around by Dooku, or lord forbid Grevious or Ventress, and she definitely wouldn’t appreciate Sidious being unwilling to step up on the frontline with his troops.

2. If not a force user, would they keep their job (Would a trooper still work for this new Republic and would an Agent be loyal to the Separatists?)?

Bel would probably make a play to join the SIS. And then immediately question how the SIS went from agents like Theron to seemingly having the capabilities of two people and paperclip. I’m just saying how did no one put any of the diddly dang dots together. He’d be the type to pull off an op and then basically drop it at the Jedi’s feet like “here, give me a job.” I’ll get into why he would go to the republic in a bit.

3. Who would they hate?

Vits would despise Dooku and Sidious. She would like Ventress but find her training considerably lacking. She understand some cunning, undercover work, and what it can do, that’s why she and Bel get along, but the lack of commitment to stand beside your men and fight with them is something she despises.

Thomsyn would have some problems with the way the Jedi, but she and Montym would both have a much bigger problem with Senate oversight. They’re both used to working with politicians, but the inability to work without that oversight would bother them. Neither of them think the Jedi are infallible, but they both have a big problem with the idea of needing politicians to greenlight things like humanitarian missions. 

Bel would have a huge problem with the Jedi that he keeps under lock and key. Part of it would be due to Kothe. The other part is...well he’s seen what happens when Sith lead, he doesn’t really think the Jedi should be given military power for their ability with the Force either. 

4. Who would they get along well with?

Bel would actually get along really well with GAR Specforces. I think he’d adjust pretty easily to them, and people like Skirata and Vau would be comfortingly familiar as Bel actually got along really well with Shae and Torian. And he would very much enjoy the troopers, he understands their mindset, and especially with the Commandos, they understand the importance of intel people like Bel are meant to provide. He’d also be all in to spar with the ARC’s, and hone his skills against theirs.

Montym would have had a romantic crush on Obi-Wan within five seconds of the man dramatically dropping his cape and that’s really all there is to it. He would also get along well with Senator Organa.

Like I said earlier, I think Vits would have liked Ventress, and probably tried to poach her as an apprentice in a damn second. Thomsyn I’m not really sure who she’d get along with best.

5. What would they think of the Jedi Order?

Viticalia has, and always will be fascinated by the Jedi in that sort of detached, research-esque way. Otherwise she doesn’t care about them much, although she does find it a bit amusing to watch some of them tout the ideals of the Republic as things go down hill. She at least never had any misconceptions about the Empire. Thomsyn and Montym sort of understand how the Jedi could have come under such heavy control of the Senate. They both would have hoped for better, but aren’t that surprised, not after Saresh.

Bel could not care less about the Jedi. Likes them well enough individually for the most part, but that’s his approach to any and all force users really.

6. What would they think of the “rule of 2” Sith?

Viticalia thinks its the stupidest thing ever. Probably starts taking on as many slightly sensitive people as she can and calls them her Apprentices just to piss off these new “Sith”. Really she’s just adopting herself a bunch of children, but it counts and that’s all she cares about.

7. What would they think of having a clone and droid army fighting instead of typical soldiers?

Bel understands what its like to be treated as less than a person. As an asset only. It’s still something he does to himself, thinking about himself as only an asset or a liability, which is a mindset Theron’s working on having him get rid of. So he would sympathize pretty heavily, which is part of why he’d go to the Republic. He’s turned the tide of a war and saved countless of his coworkers in the military before, he would try it again.

Viticalia and Thomsyn would have more practical issues with the idea a droid army. They aren’t creative, they can’t interpret, and they aren’t built for every situation. Thomsyn however would have a lot of problems on the legality of clones, whereas Vits is used to slavery and is prone to forgetting about how that works.

Montym thinks the whole idea on either side is terrible, for various reasons, but cannot stand that clones are not legal citizens but the Republic uses them anyhow.

8. If Republic - if they became a general in the army what would their relationship with their clones be like?

I think Montym would accept a position as a General, Thomsyn...maybe for a while. Montym is a little better with handling the cost of war, whereas Thomsyn counts on herself to keep everyone around her alive. I think they’d both be on good terms with their troopers, Montym would take a bit longer, he’s quiet and a bit...odd, but when he likes people he makes it clear. Thomsyn would get close to them quickly, and each death would hit her pretty hard.

9. If Imperial - what would they think of the complete lack of sith and excess of droids in the Separatist army?

Viticalia has soooo many problems about tradition with the way the Sith operate, but in particular thinks the CIS is...stupid. The idea of a civil war is fine, sure, but their execution is lacking. Bel thinks they’re stupid but also finds it very funny. Terrible tactics, questionable leadership, not a good spy in sight... but he also thinks the way the Republic has alienated so many of their own...well he’s seen it before with Imperial worlds, and after Saresh it isn’t surprising. He’s largely disillusioned and just wishes someone would learn from their mistakes already. Part of what would push him to join the Republic in this case would be that he values peoples lives a lot more than droids, and he hasn’t valued the Sith as leaders in a long time, so he has no reason to go to the CIS and as far as he’s concerned, Republics got the better chance. 

10. Consider they were born in this era - where would they fit in Clone Wars canon?

This I’ve actually thought about this a bit. Thomsyn and Montym would be still pretty much the same, Jedi, although Thomsyn would not have joined the Grey Jedi in that AU as she would be more accustomed to what this Republic is like. Viticalia I would go with a Jedi who leaves the order eventually, simply because it would be really fun to explore a much more light-sided Vits. Bel’s a bit more difficult to place, in a society that doesn’t put as much importance on genetics and perfection, he would have the chance to do whatever he liked, which he didn’t in the Empire. In an au that follows his canon life a little better, he would probably join the SIS, but more likely as an anaylst or undercover agent, not as a sniper and agent. 

Honestly time travel and born in that era, they’re def aus I’ve thought about writing

#tag meme #Viticalia Volcatius #Belville Abelard #Thomsyn #Montym #swtor #my ocs #swtor ocs #thank you for tagging me! #this was really fun #and I adore these au musings

[shiavanzin]

💀  * [ timothee chalamet + cis male + he/him ] —— have you met zigmund ‘shia’ ivan vanzin? they are a twenty  year old junior currently studying political science. they live on decker house, and word around campus is that this gemini is witty + charming, as well as manipulative + self destructive. i wonder if they’ll make it out alive. snorting lines off a priceless mirror, writing ancient runes in cigarette ash, the thrill of victory that accompanies a low ‘checkmate’. 

hello all, my name is pepper and i have never been on time for anything, ever, in my life so this is very on brand for me! that said, i am very excited to be here. shia is one of my favourite muses but because of his background it’s kind of hard for me to find places to play him, so i really jumped at the chance to be a part of this rp. that said, he is heathen so sdkjdsjk you’ve been warned, i suppose.

ABOUT THE MUN. fuck this *unfocuses my eyes*

fun fact about me, i’ve been working every day for the last ten days so i love that for me dkjdkj which is literally why me getting myself here was so chaotic honestly but i’m here i made it and we love to see it. honestly i am just a humble fergie enthusiast (patiently waiting for my girl to come back from her hiatus. any day now). i would die for a good aesthetic like pinterest owns my ass. i am big fan of the bachelor and specifically demi from the bachelor (demi from the bachelor if you are reading this i would like to hang out with you friday when i am free. please contact me if you’re able to hang out (on friday when i am free)). i am a huge superhero nerd. the first fanfic i ever wrote was a teen titans/danny phantom crossover and honestly? most ambitious crossover of all time, sorry endgame. i’ve never seen star wars or lord of the rings, and i’m okay with that. oh, and funnily enough i have never played chess which is about to be very ironic and i think that’s the perfect transition into shia’s bio.

BIO. child abuse tw, addiction tw, drug tw, and i think that’s it rip. 

(tldr literally just click the link in the second bullet point for a summary because that’s how shia grew up, with psychologist parents determined to make him a prodigy. he is technically a prodigy now as the youngest grandmaster in history. his family is weird and fucked up and cold blah blah blah takes a lot of drugs, drinks a lot of alcohol to cope with his messed up childhood blah blah blah went to boarding school for high school. oh, and there’s a meme of him. and that’s pretty much it.)

okay first of all here is shia’s pinterest board and here is his playlist, which is honestly just??? really messy and just filled with songs that remind me of him (like it doesn’t flow at all i’m pretty sure yk) so! yeah!

second of all, shia’s backstory is thoroughly inspired by a true story. like I legitimately found this (look at the early life portion to see what i’m talking about if you want but i’m about to explain it all below anyways) and was like !!!???? so yes, that’s how this mess was born (although i highkey think that gerard way got inspo from that family for the umbrella academy like??? that’s my little conspiracy theory. WHERE ARE THEIR ROYALTIES GERARD!)

Shia doesn’t remember life before he was adopted. Before he was Zigmund Ivan Vanzin, the fourth child of the carefully selected Vanzin 6. Honestly he’s not quite sure his life prior is of much importance, because things didn’t truly get crazy until after he was officially taken in by the Vanzin family at the tender age of two.

Shia and his five siblings were all part of an educational experiment carried out by their parents, Moira and Yakov Vanzin, in an attempt to prove that children could be trained to be prodigies if immersed in a specialist subject from a very early age. ‘Geniuses are made, not born’, was the tagline of their parents thesis, and the foundation on which Shia and his siblings’ entire childhood was based on. They would all be molded into prodigies, and they would be living, breathing proof of their parents achievements.

Because of the magnitude of their experiment, and Shia’s parents reputation (both of Shia’s parents was a very famous educational psychologists in their own right, and due to their fame, their experiment and their children were covered in magazines and newspapers worldwide. To this day a quick google search will lead you pictures of the Vanzin 6 growing up slowly on the covers of publications such as Times Magazine, Forbes, People, and of course a myriad of academic magazines as well.) they received heavy criticism at the time from some western media for ‘depriving the siblings of a normal childhood.’ But since all of the Vanzin children were born and raised in Russia, that criticism didn’t do much in the way of stopping them. Shia’s parents coolly ignored it all. They wanted to leave a mark. To change the future. And they both truly believed that their research would do that. They believed their work would completely revolutionize the way that children were educated, and that therefore, they would revolutionize the future.

And so the children were affectionately dubbed The Vanzin 6 by the media that wasn’t completely against the experiment. A cute little nickname smacked on what would normally be considered a child endangerment lawsuit. Sure, there were still those that protested, but their cries were quiet in comparison to the roars of the intrigued, of the curious, of the fans, because of course there were fans. So it goes without saying that Shia’s first photo op was when he was still in diapers. He smiled cheekily through the whole thing, in striking contrast to his siblings all staring empty eyed into the camera. Their lives were pretty much put on constant display from that point on, and honestly, at least in terms of Shia’s approach to photo ops, not much has changed on that front.

Shia’s parents educated their six children at home, each with their own specific subject to focus on. From the age of four, Shia, or Zigmund, as his birth certificate so lovingly displayed, (it should be noted that Moira and Yakov named all of their children after psychologists, and that Shia was simply unlucky enough to get Freud. So perhaps lovingly wasn’t the right word.) showed a talent for chess, and therefore that talent was ‘nurtured’. In other words, Shia was only allowed to live and breathe chess from the cursed day his chubby little fingers picked up a chess piece to, presumably, the day he died. If he wasn’t eating, sleeping, or doing his school work, Shia was playing chess. First he played against his father, and mother, and siblings and when that stopped posing a challenge, he got involved in official competitions. Those were somehow even less of a challenge, but granted, his siblings were being trained into geniuses. At first he played children his age, and then slightly older, and then much older, which Shia will admit, was the most fun. Even as a child there was just something about seeing a grown man go red in the face with frustration as he lost to a child. Something amusing. Something powerful. Admittedly, chess got old. But that specific red faced look never did.

Shia rose up the ranks slowly and steadily from then on, already creating quite a stir in the world of chess by the age of six. And considering this was what they wanted, you would think his parents would be proud. Thrilled even. However that was not completely the case.

For as long as Shia can remember his relationship with his parents had been more ‘professional’ than affectionate. To start, he and his siblings all called them both by their first names. Considering he was adopted, Shia would never know what his first word was, that memory was lost to him and kept only by the parents who didn’t want him enough to keep him in the first place. But even if he was born to Moira and Yakov, if the two were his flesh and blood, he knows with absolute surety that the first words to come out of his mouth wouldn’t have been ‘Mama’ or ‘Papa’. The two never referred to themselves that way, and they didn’t expect their children to either. Shia remembers with painful clarity first and only time he tried. Or rather, he remembers the stomach turning look of both confusion and contempt from Moira that followed the one time he tried. He never tried again.

His parents didn’t offer much when it came to what normal parents did he supposed. He didn’t receive much physical affection from them, or sugar coated words. They were their parents, yes, but they were also their handlers, and being raised with that emotional distance definitely had an impact on Shia’s psyche. All Shia wanted to do was impress his parents. Maybe get a good job, or a hug, or a smile. The kind of things he’d seen other kids get just for breathing, or using a toilet. But he knew his parents expected more. He knew they expected the best. So the only way he knew how to achieve his goal of attaining his parents affection was to work harder. To be the best he could at chess, the best anyone could at chess, and once he did that he knew his parents would reward him. He knew they would love him for taking the first step to make their dreams come true. When he was young he used to have dreams of that reward. Of how good it would feel to know they were proud of him. He imagined it feeling warm. And light, like he’d read in books. He imagined it feeling worth it.

Shia and his siblings were never the children that got asked that question, you know, the question that all children can relate to answering with bubbling wide eyed excitement. ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ The answer was laid out for them. It was decided before they even had a chance to think about it, and any time someone made the mistake of asking them the question, their parents  answered for them. She will be the world’s youngest prima ballerina. She will be a legend in the musical field. He will be grandmaster. No, dreams weren’t for the Vanzin children, so Shia’s kept his quiet. Kept it close to his heart where his parents couldn’t admonish him for being sentimental or fickle or any of the other large words they used that Shia was only instructed to look up in the dictionary. His dream of gaining their favour was his, and his alone. Shia learned very quickly in life to keep your cards close, and your heart buried.

And after years of hard work and dedication, and a lot of blood sweat and tears, Shia did it. He won. He finally beat everyone there was to beat, and at the youngest recorded age of ten to boot. Shia was officially the world’s youngest grandmaster. His record has still yet to be beat to this day. And that day, he looked to his parents, ready for them to run to him and shower him with the affection and praise he longed for. It didn’t take long for the ecstatic expression on his young face to fall.

The most Shia got was an approving nod from his mother from across the room. His father, for his part, was on a phone call. That was it. The crowd roared around him, and the audience clapped with the enthusiasm usually reserved for sports games and concerts. The reporters at the event stumbled over their words trying to communicate the record breaking event that they had just witnessed, from one of the lionized Vanzin 6. It was chaos, beautiful, celebratory chaos, all for Shia, but it was all a blur around him. He couldn’t see it. All he could see was Moira and Yakov, turning away from him and towards each other, whispering god knows what. He had their full attention for maybe all of a minute. They didn’t even smile.

(There is live video of Shia having his dream crushed right before his eyes. Recordings of it on youtube. How many people can say that, aye? The true power of celebrity. The gif of Shia’s shocked and empty expression amidst a crowd of ballistic celebration even became a meme at one point, a meme that Shia later bitterly used on occasion, because what was more powerful than using a meme of yourself? Than using your own pain for humour? Nothing, in Shia’s opinion.)

After Shia became grandmaster everything stopped. After all, there was nothing more to train him for. He had achieved his goal. He had won. And with his parents no longer focusing on training him and leaving him completely to his own devices, well, they stopped paying attention to him completely. Shia was all at once almost completely emancipated. The freedom of it all was freeing for all of a week. Then, Shia started to feel painfully invisible.

Prior to becoming grandmaster, Shia was quiet. Polite. Very calm, very observant, a bit distant and reserved for a kid, but no real red flags. Afterwards, however? After he felt like his parents no longer had any use for him, no longer had any anything for him, well Shia lashed out. Rebelled. Became louder, sharper tongued, more mischievous. He started acting out in hopes that they would give him some of the attention he so desperately craved, and while they did, none of it was positive. Shia quickly became the problem child of the Vanzin 6, somehow both his parents pride and joy as the first of their children to reach their goal, but also their greatest disappointment as the first one to turn against them.

Without chess to focus on, Shia turned to his siblings for entertainment. However Shia’s version of entertainment was never completely harmless. From a young age he had a habit of using people like chess pieces, of manipulating them and turning them against each other or towards each other for his own cheap entertainment. Shia could singlehandedly trick his siblings out of an argument when he was younger (or into an argument, when he was feeling particularly chaotic). He could trick the few peers he came across into simply giving him their toys or snacks, and trick bullies into leaving him alone a good amount of time too. It was both a gift and a curse, because people were never quite happy when they caught on. Most didn’t but the few that did were memorable in the violence of their anger. And besides, his parents never liked it. Shia would come home with an armful of toys that other kids ‘gave’ him and his parents would always force him to go bring them back, despite the fact that the Vanzin children were never really allowed toys of their own. The fact was, Shia’s moral compass was faulty. He never quite understood why what he was doing was wrong no matter how many times his parents tried to explain to him that people were not to be used as tools. Shia didn’t get how what he was doing was that much different from what they were. After all, weren’t Shia and his siblings nothing more than tools in his parents experiment? He asked them the question once. All he got for his efforts was a stinging cheek and a cold reminder from Moira not to be cheeky.

As Shia got older his rebellion got worse. In his defense, he was left unsupervised. While his siblings were busy with their training, Shia would be sneaking out to parties or bars or clubs. It was in those places that he was introduced to his first great loves. Drugs and alcohol. Moira and Yakov kept the Vanzin mansion dry as a monastery, so Shia had never even had a sip of beer before the age of thirteen. But the moment he did, he was a goner. Or rather the moment he got drunk he was a goner. There was something so beautiful to him about intoxication. So addicting, for lack of better word. When he was high, or drunk, or preferably, both, he felt happy. He didn’t remember his parents, or his responsibilities, or his failures, or even his successes. He was warm. And light. And content. Turns out he didn’t need his parents to make his dreams come true. Just a bottle of vodka and a line or two of coke.

After about a year of Shia coming home drunk or high or a combination of the two, eventually his parents couldn’t take it anymore (in the sharp words of Moira Vanzin, ‘Zigmund your behaviour is distracting your siblings from their training’) and sent him off to boarding school. Honestly, it hurt. His parents were basically getting rid of him because he was inconvenient, and he could never forget their out of sight out of mind approach to the whole thing.

Boarding school flew by in a mess of Riot Club like antics during which Shia did things like discover his bisexuality and somehow, against all odds, graduate. (TBH I wanna leave this pretty open in case there is any other boarding school kids who could have perhaps gone to the same school Shia did, so hmu if you have a boarding school kiddo.) He definitely attributes his acceptance to Holloway on his name completely, because honestly Shia was completely high when he wrote his college application, so high that he can’t even remember why he did it. He had no plans of going to college before that, but he figured... why not party in america and waste his parents money? What was stopping him?

So here he is, a whole mess in another country, and honestly he’s having the time of his life. Well, you know. Until people started dying. That isn’t ideal.

PERSONALITY. emotionally damaged, but make it sexy.

manipulative (we been knew) sometimes without really trying to be though. will manipulate people to get what he wants, but sometimes he just thinks of it like a nudge in the right direction. like he’ll manipulate a friend into talking to that girl they’ve had a crush on for half the year just because he wants them to be happy (and also he’s tired of hearing them talk about her)

selfish/self centered cause it’s just not?? his first instinct to think about other people’s feelings?? and it’s also kind of hard for him to empathize sometimes, especially if he’s never been in that situation or he doesn’t like KNOW and CARE about the person.

charming and charismatic, he’s got a great smile and he knows how to use it. also just very endearing if you don’t know him well, and even sometimes when you do. this is mostly a facet of him being very manipulative because he usually uses his charm to get what he wants, but still.

witty oof, this boy’s humour is inspired by klaus hargreeves and villanelle (what a duo,,, when will they meet) and he’s very rarely serious. always telling jokes, always pretty nudge nudge wink wink, even in very serious situations when he shouldn’t be. uses humour as a coping mechanism 100%, whether that’s at his own expense or someone else’s. honestly, can be kind of mean with it? like if anyone can go for the jugular with a joke it’s shia.

a big flirt honestly. will flirt with anyone he’s interested in, and will sometimes flirt without really noticing it? sometimes will flirt just for sport, or for fun, or to bug someone, or throw someone off. the type to flirt with his professor as a joke (why has he not been kicked out of here already) and has probably slept with a professor as a result. not really a player, but he enjoys physical intimacy and he knows how to get it. has been in more than a few relationships in the past, but is never very good at it because he’s almost constantly looking out for number one, aka himself. so? a mess basically.

vengeful, petty, spiteful, vindictive, all when angry or jealous or feeling as if he’s been wronged in some way but we been knew,,, we been knew.

rebellious !! still the type to suggest skipping town and partying instead of sticking around for exams. not really invested in school tbh. he has no idea what he’s going to do with his future.

a big superiority complex! cocky as hell! kind of acts like he’s the best thing since sliced bread because he was over praised as a child by like everyone but his parents. the type to think he ain’t shit deep down so he acts like he’s The Shit yk

craves love and intimacy but thinks romance is a sham. a big pessimist like ‘we’re all just floating on this rock life is meaningless we’re all gonna die anyways’ pessimist but kind of a realist tbh, he just doesn’t see the reason to sugar coat things unless ofc he’s manipulating someone then he’ll say whatever he needs to

trust issues, after his parents tbh. the only people he trusts 100% are his siblings and maybe a few close friends. i honestly may put in a wanted connection for his siblings at one point, but that’s for later.

HEADCANNONS. running for your life (from shia labeouf) he’s brandishing a knife (it’s shia labeouf)

a thick russian accent. speaks pretty impeccable english though because his parents tutored him in the english as a child. He also speaks a bit of french, german, and latin, and is currently taking mandrin chinese.

Is taking political science because he figures being a politician is just manipulating people on a larger scale, and he’d be right. However he’s not sure if that’s what he’ll actually end up going into. Honestly, Shia isn’t the slightest bit sure what he actually wants to do with his life.

His eldest sibling Jean was the one to give Shia the nickname ‘Shia’ after he confided in her that he’s always hated his name, and he’s gone by it ever since. His parents still call him Zigmund, and some of his siblings probably still call him Zig or Ziggy but like i said sdkdsk he has always hated the name (he does not want to be associated with the guy who invented the concept of the Oedipus complex). The only nickname he can stomach sometimes is Z, but other than that he’ll only accept Shia (or Shy to a select few).

was never raised with a television?? didn’t even go to a MOVIE THEATER until he was like fourteen??? so he has absolutely NO idea who Shia Laboeuf really is. People keep making jokes about it to him and he’s like ???? Honestly he googled him once and just gave up after thirty seconds, convinced people were fucking with him because this person couldn’t be real dlksdskld anyways yeah, knows next to nothing about a lot of pop culture, especially anything like before 2010, but has learnt a bit since coming out of his families little bubble. But there are still times where Shia’s like ??? what tf is that and someone’s got to explain what rolly polly olly is to him yk

Shia has a photographic memory, but honestly he doesn’t really care about it. In his eyes having a photographic memory doesn’t make you a genius, it just makes tests easier. Like to him it just means he doesn’t have to flip through his source material for quotes sdkjsdjk. It’s nothing exciting to him sdkdsk he skipped a grade because of it though but honestly?? All he really uses it for now is receipts like a little shit. Shia will legit be in an argument like “oh that wasn’t what you said in that text you sent to me at 4:45 on monday june 3rd 2017???” sdkjsdj. Occasionally he also uses it as a party trick, like if you give him a specific date he could probably tell you the newspaper headline on that day.

Has zero athletic skill. Absolutely none. Would one hundred percent lose in a fight, which is funny because he talks SO MUCH SHIT. He talks constant shit, and yet if you were to throw a punch at Shia he would go down like a rock. He doesn’t particularly care if he gets his ass beat though, so he continues to talk large amounts of shit, occasionally from a safe distance but usually not.

Honestly if you were to see him and his parents interact today it’d be wild, like you wouldn’t even know they were related. They literally act like strangers or acquaintances. Like it’s all like ‘Moira, Yakov, good to see you.’ and ‘You too Zigmund. I trust you’ve been well?’ and that goes on for like five minutes and then Shia has to hyperventilate in a corner for a bit. Like it’s so weird but it’s just been like that all his life. Normal healthy affection??? He doesn’t know her

Has a tattoo of a queen piece on the index finger of his left hand, as a little nod to what used to be his passion. Is also left handed.

Has a scar through his eyebrow that he got on a wild night out when he was thirteen. He got drunk and like passed out, and hit his head hit the edge of a table in the process. There was a lot of blood and a lot of panic, but in the end Shia only had to get a few stitches and he was very quickly back on his bullshit the moment he left the hospital. Literally, he went straight from the hospital to a house party (after all, it’s not like his parents even came to visit him and make sure he got home, so Shia simply did whatever he wanted to.)

Has a helix piercing in his right ear. It’s just a very basic silver hoop though.

His parents never really let the siblings have hobbies, but I imagine one of Shia’s siblings is a horse riding prodigy so he has some experience in that. One of them is a language prodigy, hence why Shia is conversational in so many. Jean, the eldest, is a musical prodigy and has lovingly taught Shia a bit of piano and violin. He is nowhere near as good at those things as he was at chess, but doing any of them reminds him of his siblings, so he tends to actually turn to them more often than chess. If I’m being honest I don’t think that Shia has played a game of chess since he became grandmaster unless forced to by his parents?

Mentally Shia knows he’s an adult now and that his parents technically have no control over him, but emotionally whenever they look at him he just… feels like that empty little kid again.

Tends to always have one of those travel sized bottles of vodka on him so if you’re feeling stressed hit your boy up.

Has honestly been rich since the day he was adopted, like literally has no idea how to function without copious amounts of money?

Shia is staying in the Decker dorms because he thrives on the chaos.

Definitely an addict, definitely high functioning though but also like? It isn’t a secret? I contemplated making it a secret but once again Shia has always got a travel sized bottle of vodka on him sdkjsd you can see him casually spiking his drinks if you’re ever out with him, he pops whatever pills he can find in his pockets in the morning. So yeah it is not a secret that Shia is an addict, he is rarely sober and that’s the way he likes it. Doesn’t consider himself an addict though, funnily enough.

WANTED CONNECTIONS. god we finally got here sjsdj if you got this far you’re the real mvp.

okay to start here is my wc tag for shia so i would absolutely love anything inspired by anything in that tag.

FRIENDS FROM BOARDING SCHOOL. i already talked about this a bit but i would absolutely love it so i’m mentioning it again sdjds i am really flexible about where shia went to boarding school, so literally wherever your muse went works for me. all i want is some dead poets society antics you feel me.

CHILDHOOD FRIEND. listen to me. i love childhood friend connections so much give it to me please and i will give you my first born child in exchange. again, shia grew up in russia, but it could be a long distance friendship if need be. we can make it work, i will literally change stuff around to make it work.

PREVIOUS ONE NIGHT STANDS. honestly shia would have multiple of these cause he’s a hoe. did he ghost your muse? did they mutually ghost each other? was it a one night stand gone wrong?

ENEMY. it’s so easy to hate him man. anyone who wants to hate him please feel free. did shia screw your muse over? did he manipulate them? did he i don’t know throw up on their shoes while particularly drunk? maybe shia was high when he did the thing they hate him for, maybe he doesn’t even remember but he just hates them cause they hate him. it’s the principle of the thing really. (me in my head: *junie b jones vc* princiPAL cause he’s your PAL). unreasonable completely baseless hate for no reason at all? 

FLIRTATIONSHIP. a fun ‘will they, won’t they’ kind of situation because why not. what’s stopping us. just fun banter on both ends. 

EXES. shia doesn’t date so he wouldn’t have too many of these but it would be fun. maybe their relationship was toxic because of shia’s toxic ass traits skjdsj maybe things were getting real and shia dipped like the coward he is. maybe it’s was a the colonel x sarah esque relationship where no one got it because they both seemed to hate each other the whole time and they very much did hate each other but were dating anyways. maybe it’s maybeline. 

FWB/EWB. honestly this is more shia’s speed, so he’d probably have more of these as well as ex-fwbs/ewbs, which is such a fun concept. did it stop because someone caught feelings? or did they just get bored of each other? some other reason? but okay, back to the point, yes sexy enemies. sexy friends. we love to see it. 

HIGH SOCIETY. someone he gets fucked up with! multiple people he gets fucked up with! they party together, drink together, do lines together. it’s a beautiful relationship of them all enabling each other. 

GOOD INFLUENCE. counter actively. someone who tries to get shia away from his self destructive tendencies. someone who’s door he comes knocking at when he’s black out drunk because he knows they’ll give him a place to sleep. Someone he calls when he ends up in butt fuck nowhere with no shoes after a crazy night. Also, as wild as it is, flip it, where Shia’s hypocritical ass cares about your muse enough to try and take care of them. High off his ass but still trying to stick his fingers down their throat so they don’t get alcohol poisoning. They text him when they’re ‘going home’ when they were pre-gaming at their house in the first place. Shia is very ‘you would die without me’ about this person.

BAD INFLUENCE. shia is the devil kronk on their shoulder. he tempts them to the dark side with promises of a good time, and he delivers thank you very much. 

A DRUG DEALER. i mean??? i’m ngl shia i very dependent on drugs, so he would probably keep this person close and do his best to keep them happy.

SOMEONE SHIA CHEATS FOR OR CHEATED FOR. maybe shia did their homework or took a test for them, all for an ominous ‘you owe me’?

SOMEONE SHIA SCREWED OVER. he does this all the time so yeah there can be multiples of this skjsdj shia is honestly like genuinely loyal to only a few people, so there are probably more than few people he left in the dust to save his own skin. maybe he saw the cops closing in on a party and left your muse for dead! or whatever else yk.

ANNOYANCE. it’s shia he’s the annoyance. 

okay i think that’s all i’ve got, and if you made it all the way down here you’re??? an icon??? wow, i really can’t believe. please like this if you want to plot and i will come running!

#holloway.intro #s.v. | intro. #the only reason i used that surf gif is cause #??? when else will i get to use it #literally never

[cadubrkley]

helloooo, people !! i got another dad. who is surprised ?? no one !! please feel free to like this so we can plot !! 

                                                               ( tw: cheating )

╰ ♡  MUSE 19, MURILO BENICIO, CIS MALE ┊ have you seen CARLOS EDUARDO BERKLEY around hillston? the FORTY FIVE year old is said to be a C.E.O. the neighbors would say that they’re REPRESSED and DEMANDING, but they’re actually RESPONSIBLE and DILIGENT. HE often reminds people of working so much you forget what time it is, the low clinking of ice against the edge of the whiskey glass, three piece suits perfectly tailored to your body. watch out, though. you wouldn’t believe that HE HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH A STRANGER AT BAR. ( manu, 21, gmt -3, they/them )

╰        *           𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒��

good things fall apart by illenium

hold you down by x ambassadors

honeybee by the head and the heart

almost (sweet music) by hozier

ilysb by lany

casuality by lawrence

leaving by ekali

i like me better by lauv

╰        *           𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

deadly sin: pride

heavenly virtue: deligence

zodiac sign: capricorn

hogwarts house: ravenclaw

personality type: istj ( the logistician )

moral alignment: lawful neutral ( the judge )

strengths: responsible, diligent, analytical, reserved, ambitious, patient

weaknesses: repressed, demanding, egoistical, stubborn, judging, hypocritical.

fashion: three piece suits, expensive overcoats, bottom up shirts, rolled up sleeves.

╰        *           𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

cadu had always been ambitious. he was raised to be the heir of the berkley company, ready to take over the world, to make his family’s last name the most notable thing out there.

you could have asked anyone, young eduardo would have done anything to get what he wanted, what his family wanted, to acquire the power that the berkley name deserved 

or at least that is what he believed until he met the man would turn out to be his future husband.

yeah, maybe they were combining royalties by getting together, but it didn’t matter. cadu didn’t even think of it, the man could have been a criminal with a last name no knew about and eduardo would still have done everything for him

the two of them got together and raised what turned out to be — in eduardo’s opinion — the single best family in all of hillston

it wasn’t perfect, but it was just about the best everything he had ever wished for.

well, that is, until they decided to have a new child. it wasn`t that eduardo didn`t want it, he was mostly confused, unsure of what to do with his feelings, of how to react to the whole ordeal. he loved his husband, but he wasn`t twenty anymore, he wasn`t sure he had the energy or the time to raise another child. — and the worse of it, eduardo wasn`t sure of how to put the feeling into words, didn`t want to disappoint his husband with the truth.

secret: he decided to go out drinking, to try and think of a way to deal with it. his slow night with the company of a glasses of whiskey, however, turned into chatter with a stranger at a bar. that day, cadu cheated on his husband with a stranger

the sun didn’t even need to raise for guilt to start settling in, as soon as he’d sobered up a little, he ran back home, unable to deal with what he’d done.

after that cadu just agreed with everything, accepted the idea of the new child, decided to do anything his husband needed in order to be happy. — that night was a mistake, right ? no one ever needed to know about it.

╰        *           𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎

the person he is when he meets and once he likes you seem like two completely different human beings

a quick guide to his name: carlos eduardo ? a-okay. eduardo ? completely fine. cadu? only if you are really close. carlos ? you are banned from his life, how dare you !

short king. standing at 5′7 but his wallet is at 6′5

eduardo thinks everyone in the world is stupid except his family. they have never and could never do anything wrong. surely nothing could make him change his mind about that.

honestly thinks he knows better than everyone in the world

i’m thinking he probably expanded the company and has like yacht clubs in other towns besides hillston bc my boy the face of ambition 

𝒂𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔 — working so much you forget what time it is, the low clinking of ice against the edge of the whiskey glass, three piece suits perfectly tailored to your body, peppering soft kisses across his jaw, pretending you didn’t just dye your hair, kids laughter echoing through a big house.

#hillston.intro

[all-my-novels]

send me a prompt + a ship and i’ll write something

it might be a drabble, a snippet, or even a full on oneshot, who knows? but it’ll be something. i really wanna write family/pregnancy stuff so that’s what we’re doing tonight. fandoms i’ll do this for are danganronpa only right now because that’s what i’m craving. send any ship from trigger happy havoc, sdr2, ndrv3, or dr3 the anime. doing as many as i can! there’s a shit ton of prompts so click the read more. i’ll do any ship as long as it isn’t tenko with men, cis mpreg (trans mpreg is fine), incest, or pedophilia. also no haiji ew.

prompts

Person A is lounging on the couch on Father’s Day when Person B approaches and hands them a card. A is confused, as they don’t have kids yet, until they open it and see a picture of B holding a positive pregnancy test/adoption papers/etc. How they react is up to you!

Person A and B are engaged to be married and have decided that they want children in the future but want to wait for a while until after the wedding to try for them. They have a night alone before the big day and forget about it until their honeymoon when Person B is extremely tired the whole time and discovers that they’re expecting on the last day to the surprise of them and Person A.

Person A and B are trying for a child with no success and begin to lose hope. One day Person B, after feeling dizziness coupled with a headache at work, visits their doctor and discovers that they are finally expecting, much to the joy of both them and Person A.

Imagine person A of your OTP telling person B they are pregnant in the form of a baby-themed Christmas ornament.

Imagine your OTP recently had a baby (Person A being the bearer) and they finally have some time to be intimate. Person A is very insecure about the way their body has changed from the pregnancy, and Person B shows them through slow, passionate sex how they’re still beautiful.

Person A and Person B are getting married/renewing their vows. They’ve written their own vows. When it’s B’s turn, Person B admits that B is pregnant.

Imagine your OTP is living in a cheap studio apartment, struggling to get by, and then Person A finds out they’re pregnant…

Imagine Person A of your OTP is lightly pregnant. They’re terrified of telling B for some reason. Then when they finally tell B, B hugs and coddles them, saying how happy they are.

Seven months later, A is lethargically laying on the couch eating. Nothing but their cravings for a loooooong month until B gets sick and tired of A’s crap, and forces them to eat one of each food group.

Imagine your OTP has recently gotten married, but are not ready for kids. Around the same time, a close friend of theirs announces they’re pregnant. Nine months later, when said friend gives birth, your OTP is there with them. After the baby is born and they go home, Person A says, “Wow. That was intense. I’m glad we aren’t having kids for a while.” Person B (awkwardly) has to announce that they just found out that they’re pregnant. How Person A reacts is up to you.

Person A goes to Person B’s older sibling and tells them that they are pregnant and they are afraid of what Person B will think once their pregnancy progresses. During their conversation, Person B eavesdrops. What happens after is entirely up to you.

Imagine your OTP as high schoolers. Person A finding out they’ve impregnated Person B.

Imagine Person A and Person B are in Person A’s bedroom alone together. Person A admits that they are pregnant and Person B is overjoyed, while Person A’s family is secretly listening on the other side of the door.

Imagine Person B of your OTP noticing that person A seems very distracted/down/perhaps even a little sick looking lately but person A keeps brushing off B’s questions and concerns until they are dancing at some fancy event and suddenly A comes clean about being pregnant with B’s baby and the dance just freezes as the reality of being parents sink in. Further reactions are up to you.

Both A and B of your OT3 are pregnant. They lie on C as a pillow.

Imagine person A of your OTP is really sick suddenly. Person B then drives them to the doctor and the doctor diagnosis it as morning sickness, because A is pregnant.

Person A is sitting in a dim hospital room with their newborn. Person B [and C] comes in after getting rid of all the visitors, and they have their first peaceful moment as a family.

Imagine your OTP arguing over whose hair color they think their baby will get.

Imagine Person A of your OTP finding out they’re pregnant on them and Person B’s wedding night.

Imagine Person A finds out they’re expecting Person B’s child. They’re afraid to tell B, not really sure how they’ll react to the news. When they do finally work up the courage to break the news, Person B freaks out–but not in the negative way that Person A was worried about. Instead, a dazed A finds themself being smothered in hugs and kisses, and bombarded with excited questions about the baby.

Imagine one of your OTP+s with at least one male member.  Now imagine that your OTP+ is about to have a baby (through whatever means), and the male member(s) start freaking out about the idea of raising a little girl.

Imagine Person A putting their head on Person B’s very pregnant belly, overjoyed at how they’re going to become a parent. Then the baby kicks A in the face.

Imagine person A is pregnant and grumpy. Person B offers to let A use them as a pillow.

Imagine person A of your OTP is 6 months pregnant and they’re craving cake, so they wake up person B (and C if OT3) at 2 am and force them to bake with/for them.

Imagine that Person A is heavily pregnant and is laying on the couch. Person B comes and gives A a smooch on their belly, but at the exact spot and time where they kiss, the baby gives a huge kick. B is a little thrown off but they laugh and say, “That little shit just kicked me in the mouth!”

Imagine person A giving birth, and squeezing B’s hand so hard they actually break it. Afterwards, your OTP’s friends all want to see the baby, but B insists that someone signs their cast. Person C gives in and affectionately writes, “God made the river, God made the lakes, God made person B, well we all make mistakes.”, which person A finds hilarious.

Imagine your OT3. A & B have had a child together, and so have A & C. Now B & C want to have a baby, and they argue about who should carry it.

Person A is pregnant and is trying to get Person B to talk to the baby; Person B feels self-conscious, silly, ridiculous, etc. talking to A’s belly, and at first begins speaking jokingly, but soon gets very involved.  Bonus points if A gets emotional.

Imagine Person A of your OTP is pregnant and hasn’t yet told Person B. One day, A and B are doing something together, when B suddenly says “I know about the baby”. You choose what happens next.

Imagine Person A of your OTP is pregnant, and Person B has begun a habit of talking to A’s stomach, from telling stories to bad jokes. A lot. Whether Person A finds it cute or is incredibly annoyed is up to you.

Imagine your OTP/OT3 having recently had their first child. Person A was the one to carry and give birth to the baby, and they are self-conscious about their stretchmarks, loose skin, extra weight etc. Person B (and C) try to cheer Person A up and make them love their body again.

Imagine person A of your OTP is pregnant and having to put up with some kicks and squirms from the baby which are rather bothersome to A. B then sings to the baby which seems to calm it down or rather lull it to sleep.

Imagine Person A of your OTP just found out they’re pregnant. Now imagine them coming up with a creative way to tell Person B (like putting a hot dog bun in their oven). Bonus: B misunderstands hilariously.

Imagine your OTP/OT3 has just started trying to have children. They’ve been unsuccessful so far but then one day in the mail they start getting ads for baby supplies. It turns out person A is indeed pregnant.

Imagine Muse A of your OTP is pregant. Muse A complains to Muse B that they can’t get any sleep because the baby has been kicking Muse A nonstop since last night. So, Muse B gathers Muse A in their arms, sits them on their lap, and rubs Muse A’s stomach to help them feel better.

Imagine your OTP had a baby, and decide to try for another. They’re happy to discover they’re pregnant, but then later find out it’s not just one baby or two. It’s triplets!

Imagine your OTP running a bakery. Muse A starts to put on weight and assumes its down to eating the cakes/things they sell in the bakery. They start to lay off of the sweet things and work out regularly. However nothing happens. One day whilst talking about the situation, Muse B jokes ‘Maybe you’re pregnant’ and realisation hits Muse A.

Imagine that Person A is pregnant, but they aren’t sure how to tell Person B. Then, when the two of them are having a cute/romantic moment, Person A hugs B and buries their face into B’s chest and whispers “You’re going to be a great parent.”

Imagine your OTP trying to figure out a fun way to break the news that they’re pregnant to their families.

Imagine Person A of your OTP being the absolute last in their social circle to find out that B is several months pregnant.

Imagine Person A of your OTP is pregnant and showing a lot more than they thought they would - Perhaps thinking they dated the pregnancy wrong. Next ultrasound, they find out the reason: They’re not having one, not two, but three! Person A is shocked, wondering how they’re going to tell Person B. (OT3 Bonus: Person C is with them on the visit and is just plain excited.)

Imagine Person A refuses alcohol at some sort of party, leading to the other party goers to speculate that they’re pregnant. However, person A denies that, saying that they’re B’s (and more, if you’ve got an OTP+) designated driver.

Bonus: A later reveals to B that they are indeed pregnant.

Imagine your OTP’s first child being born on their anniversary.

Imagine your OTP(+)’s reaction to them finding out they’re pregnant with twins.

Imagine one of your OT3 gets pregnant after a drunken threesome. They decide to have the baby and raise it together. A year or two later, after many ups and downs, one of them has the idea of having a second child. The one who had the baby says “That’s a terrible idea. Let’s do it.”

Imagine that Person B of your OT3 is expecting. The three have decided to keep the other parent’s identity a surprise for after the birth. In the meantime, Persons A and C make a bet: the one who turns out to be the other parent will receive a certain amount of money (or whatever else you want) from the other person. Person B is either annoyed or amused by their antics.

Imagine your OTP painting the nursery for their first child, and then getting into a mini paint fight that includes painting a cute picture on the baby bump.

Imagine that Person A of your OT3 is pregnant by Person B. Person A is getting ridiculous morning sickness and being ridiculously clingy towards Person C yet not remotely towards Person B, because it’s Person B’s fault that they can hardly keep a meal down or lie down comfortably, and so Person B needs to be punished accordingly.

Imagine person A of your OTP has a very overprotective older brother. So when person A starts dating B, person A has to assure their brother that nothing is going to go wrong. Unfortunately, person B gets person A pregnant, and then they get a mandatory shotgun wedding.

Imagine Person A (and Person C) going out shopping. They find cute tops/bottoms and begin looking through the stacks. Person B comes along to find Person A (and C) looking at the clothes and they ask something along the lines of “Are you trying to tell me something?” Turns out, Person A (and C) were looking maternity clothes! Continue from here.

Imagine your OTP(3) out shopping for maternity clothes for a pregnant Person A. Eventually, they realize that they’re not overly impressed with the clothing options available at whatever stores they’ve been in, and so B (and C) decide to put their sewing skills to work and make some homemade maternity clothes for A.

Bonus points if they argue over things like colors, prints, materials, etc. when fitting and measuring for the new clothes.

Your OTP has been trying for months to get pregnant. Imagine person A finding out they’re pregnant while person B is at work. They want to share the news with person B in a fun and creative way.

Imagine person A of your OTP/3 asking their partner(s) questions like if they have enough money, room, or time for a baby. When they get told no, Person A hesitates, then reveals a positive pregnancy test. How the other(s) react is up to you.

Imagine Person A is pregnant and playing with Person B’s hair as Person B kisses their tummy.

Imagine your OT3 deciding to have a baby. How will they do it?

Imagine your OT3 trying to figure out if B is expecting A or C’s child.

Your OTP have a baby, and after much discussion and research decide to breastfeed. The new family go out somewhere together, and at some point, the baby needs to be fed. A bystander begins to yell at Person A for being indecent, and Person B/C proceed to defend Person A and put the bystander in their place.

Imagine your OTP is either expecting or adopting an infant, and a baby shower is thrown for them. Person A’s favorite gift is a large diaper bang printed with little ducks.

Person A of your OTP finds out they’re pregnant, and they (and the other member/s) are absolutely thrilled… until their doctor gives them a laundry list of things they cannot eat or drink for the duration of the pregnancy. The other member/s of the pairing decide to forgo everything on that list as a display of solidarity with Person A because, hey, it’s their kid, too.

Imagine your OTP has a little banter about the look of their future child.

Imagine your OTP’s first attempt at feeding their child baby food, and the gigantic mess that results.

Imagine Person A of your OTP getting pregnant even though they were on the pill (or some other form of birth control.) They and the (un?)lucky other parent take a look at the container it comes in and find that it has expired! How do they react?

Imagine that person A of your OTP is heavily pregnant and feels awkward and insecure. It completely puzzles them that person B seems to find them sexier than ever and can’t keep their hands off them.

Imagine your OTP painting the nursery room together.

Imagine your OTP being the Tooth Fairy for the first time for their child.

Imagine Person A of your OTP being heavily pregnant and in constant need of Person B’s help to stand up from sitting or lying down. Person A is disgruntled at their helplessness, while Person B just smiles and is always ready to help.

Imagine that Person A is pregnant and ends up giving birth in the most awkward place/time you can think up.

Imagine that Person A is having morning sickness. What does Person B do about it?

Imagine your OTP playfully fighting over baby names.

Imagine that Person B is holding Person A’s hand during childbirth, and Person A nearly (or does) break Person B’s hand.

Imagine your OTP teaching their daughters that they are strong, capable, deserving, and more than objects to be used.

Imagine that somehow, both Person A and Person B are pregnant. At the same time. (And they have the babies at the same time.) OT3: Person C now has to look after both of their hormonal partners. (Hilarity ensues.)

Imagine your OTP finding out that the condom broke.

Imagine your OTP teaching their young child or children to catch fireflies on a summer evening.

Imagine that Person A is in labor and for whatever reason is having the baby at home. The midwife/doctor/whatever won’t arrive for a while, so Person B stays right beside Person A and holds their hand. OT3 Bonus: Person C rubs Person A’s back.

Imagine your OTP finding out they’re going to be parents for the first time.

Imagine Person A of your OTP getting married to Person B. Person A’s baby bump is noticeable through the dress (or tuxedo if you’re into M-preg) and after Person A and B have their kiss, Person B kisses the baby bump.

Imagine that both people of your OTP (or all three if OT3) are pregnant. Hilarity ensues.

Imagine your OTP looking at baby names, in books or websites. Person A chooses some of the most ridiculous names they could find (either to make Person B laugh, or they seriously like them?).

Imagine that Person A of your OTP is pregnant and isn’t sure whether or not Person B will be happy about the news.

However, when Person B is told about it, they start to get excited about the baby and immediately hug Person A, and the rest of the day is just the two of them discussing baby names all while Person B is rubbing and talking to Person A’s stomach.

Imagine person A of your OTP finding out they’re expecting. They try to think of all these adorably clever ways to let person B know but, when they try to drop the hint, it flies right over person B’s head. Person A tries a few more times before basically giving up and coming right out about it.

Imagine your OTP finding out they are having a baby, and fighting over what to name it. When they find out the sex of the baby, they look at each other and instantly know what the name will be.

Imagine Person A of your OTP is pregnant and goes into labor at a very inopportune place or moment.

Imagine Person A is pregnant and has the pregnant symptoms of mood swings, odd cravings, and an extra dose of hornyness. How does Person B keep up with A’s changes and keep them satisfied?

Imagine Person A of your OTP very, very pregnant and quite uncomfortable all the time, bossing around Person B.

Imagine Person A of your OTP noticing what might be pregnancy signs in Person B, but B’s completely oblivious to their own changes. Meanwhile, Person A enjoys teasing them until they start to catch on that there might be a bun in their oven!

“Let’s make a baby”

“I’d be a terrible mother”

“You’re on the pill, right?”

“I need to buy a pregnancy test”

“It’s positive”

“I’m going to be a father/mother?”

“Who’s the father/other mother?”

“But we used a condom”

“Are you going to find out the sex?”

“I can’t see my feet”

“That’s my baby in there”

“Have you thought about names yet?”

“Are you planning on raising this baby on your own?”

“It’s twins”

“The baby’s kicking”

“The baby’s coming”

“Push”

“So I took six tests… they’re all (positive/negative).”

“You took six tests and they’re all (positive/negative).”

“I’m pregnant… and I haven’t told (father’s/other mother’s name).”

“I know your pregnant, have you told (father’s/other mother’s name).”

“Ever since we found out about the baby, our sex life has died.”

“Ever since we found out about the baby our sex life has increased.”

“I swear if I could stay pregnant all the time I would.”

“I swear if I could have you stay pregnant all the time I would.”

“(I’ve/you’ve) gotten so horny ever since (I/you) got pregnant…”

“Baby, I know you’re pregnant, but can you please leave some pillows for me?”

“Do you even know who the father/other mother is?”

“I don’t want to know who the father/other mother is.”

1. “We’re going to be parents!“


2. “Did you feel him/her/them kick!?”


3. “Do you want to feel the baby?”


4. “I’m pregnant…and it’s yours.”


5. “Do you think I’ll make a good mother/father?“


6. “What are you hoping for?”


7. “I feel so nauseous today…”


8. “What should we name him/her/them?”


9. “How many diapers do you think we’ll need?”


10. “No I’m not crying over a puppy.”


11. “Is just strawberry okay? They didn’t have strawberries and cream.”

12. “I’ve read this book four times I’m basically an expert by now.”


13. “Boy or girl?”


14. “Wait, do we have everything on this list I found?”


15. “Can you put the crib together? I’m so tired.”


16. “This kid can come out anytime it’s ready.”


17. “Do you think I’m glowing?”


18. “How long till I’m due?”


19. “Please don’t freak out…but I’m pregnant. I SAID DON’T FREAK OUT.”


20. “Hospital. Now!”


21. “I think that was a contraction…”


22. “The due date’s not until next week!”

23. “I’m scared something bad will happen.”

24. “So I’ve been to the doctors recently and I’m pregnant.”

25. “Do we have any bacon left? I want bacon.”

26. “Why do I cry over everything?”

27. “I can’t wait for this baby to be born, then I can have a relax and we will have our baby.”

28. “I have to go for some maternity wear.”

29. “I’m too big. I have a massive bump.”

30. “You think I look beautiful?”

31. “This backache hurts.”

32. “I’ll be on the toilet for hours don’t let anyone come in.”

33. “People keep touching my bump. I don’t like it.”

34. “Do I repulse you? You haven’t touched me in weeks.”

35. “When can I have sex again?”

36. “Why can’t I walk properly? I have to walk with this pregnant waddle it’s not so satisfying.”

37. “I’m seriously considering strangling you for this but I’m in too much pain.”

38. “I’m having trouble sleeping, I don’t need you snoring which keeps me awake and makes me want to hit you.”

39. “I can’t see my feet, so you will have to wash my feet.”

40. “I’m eating for two, so don’t complain that I eat loads of food.”

41. “People keep saying rude things and I hate it.”

42. “I’m going to be breastfeeding.”

43. “My excuse for eating more food is that I am pregnant. What’s yours?”

44. “Did I ask for your comment?”

45. “Are you an authority on pregnant women and size?”

46. “Well, obviously you haven’t been around many pregnant women or you’d know much more about pregnancy etiquette.”

47. “Yeah, and I’m about to have a cow because you have so much insensitivity.”

48. “That’s rude, and it hurts my feelings. I’d rather you just sit there in silence than slam my self-esteem.”

49. “I hope we are having a boy/girl.”

50. “This baby is overdue, I need a curry or sex to get the baby out.”

51. “I want pickles, bacon and cheese. I want them now.”

52. “Can I get some ice cream please?”

53. “Did you by some more ginger ale?”

54. “Yes, I’m huge but if you remind me one more time, I’m going to eat you!”

55. “I’m posting my ultrasound on Facebook whether you like it or not!”

56. “My sweat pants are the only thing that fit me and they make me comfortable!”

57. “Honey, please fix me an M&M cookie and peanut butter and bacon sandwich!”

58. “I have to pee. I don’t care, I’m going again!”

59. “Yes I am still pregnant.”

“I’ve looked up things about your symptoms.. Are you pregnant?”

“You.. You’re pregnant?!”

“I’m gonna be a dad/mama.. I’m going to be a dad/mama!”

“I would never leave you.. I’m so excited for this baby.”

“As the aunt/uncle of this baby, it is my right to spoil it.”

“___ You two are not ready to have a baby, I can’t believe it.”

“Who’s the spawn of satan? You are!”

“Either that was a really bad cramp, or I’m having contractions.”

“Don’t be mad at me but… I think I might be pregnant..”

“You know how you said you’ve always wanted a family? Well.. now we have that chance. I’m pregnant!”

“The protection didn’t work, okay?! Now we’re having a baby!”

“We.. We can’t have a baby! Are you kidding me?!”

“Look at him/her.. She’s perfect.”

“If that stupid doctor tells me one more hour, i’m going to kill them!”

“Well I think you just broke my hand..”

“He left me when I told him…”

“What about adoption?”

“I went to the doctor.. and… well.. I don’t know how to say this..”

“That one night stand was the biggest mistake of our lives..”

“I’m pregnant and I have no idea who the father/mother is.”

“I’m scared, ____! I don’t know how to raise a baby!”

“The baby kicked!”

“It’s really hard to cuddle with you when i’m this fat..”

“I’m so helpless and fat, I hate being pregnant.”

“For the last time, you’re not fat. You’re pregnant.”

“I hate you for doing this to me..”

“You’re in labor?!”

“You alright? Is something wrong with the baby?”

“Shit.. hospital.. hospital now..!”

“It’s a boy/girl.”

“I want to name them ______”

i’m pregnant. ”

“ i’m pregnant and it’s yours. ”

“ why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant. ”

“ are you pregnant? ”

“ i need to tell you something. ”

“ i have money for abortion. ”

“ how much is an abortion? ”

“ maybe we can put it up for adoption? ”

“ i didn’t ask for this to happen. ”

“ what are we going to do? ”

“ i think i’m pregnant. ”

“ didn’t you use a condom? ”

“ i’m not on birth control. ”

“ it’s definitely yours, i’m not like that. ”

“ i don’t know who’s it is! ”

“ are you really pregnant? ”

“ congratulations on your pregnancy! ”

“ how far long are you? ”

“ it’s too late for abortion, i’m sorry. ”

“ so who is the babydaddy? ”

“ how does it feel to you know be pregnant and all? ”

“ are you going to keep it? ”

“ do you want to keep it? ”

“ did you tell anyone else about it? ”

“ we can raise it. ”

“ we can keep it. ”

“ i am not going through with this. ”

“ what are the options? ”

“ what did the pregnancy test come back as? ”

“ i need a pregnancy test. ”

“ i took a test. a pregnancy test. ”

“ did you get the test yet? ”

“ get more than one test, too. ”

“ it is yours! just as much as it is mine! ”

“ i’m pregnant and your going to help me. ”

“ i don’t want to tell anyone until i’m twelve weeks. past the risk for miscarriage. ”

“ i’m so sorry this happened. ”

“ this pregnancy is going to kill me. ”

“ i’m ready to give birth already. ”

“ how much does a pregnancy test cost? ”

“ can you still get pregnant on the pill? ”

“I’ve always wanted to be a mother/father!”

“We’ve waited a long time for this.”

“Do you want to feel the baby kick?”

“Give me your hand so you can feel it, too”

“We have to finish the nursery. There’s only two weeks left.”

“Have we bought everything on the baby list?”

“I can’t wait to finally hold it”

“You’re glowing!”

“There is something I have to tell you…”

“Hello little one, this is your daddy speaking..”

“I think it likes me touching your belly.”

“I can feel it kick!”

“My back aches and I want ice cream.”

“I can’t hide my bump any longer. I think we need to tell people.”

“I heard the heart beat for the first time.”

“Do you want to see an ultrasound picture?”

“You’re going to be an amazing mom/dad!”

“What would you say about adding one more? The house is big enough.”

“I think my water just broke…”

“Do you think it’s contractions?”

“Call the midwife, this is not a false alarm.”

“I think it’s too late to drive to the hospital, the baby is coming NOW.”

“I’m not ready for a baby.”

“How are we going to keep our family safe?”

“I don’t know how to be a mother/father.”

“I can’t even keep a cactus alive, let alone a human baby.”

“I’m pregnant.”

“You’re what now?”

“You’ve been having some weird cravings lately..”

“You’re going to me a father.”

“Uh babe, what’s with all of those pregnancy tests?”

“No way.. this test has to be wrong. Let me try another one.”

“The baby is yours.”

“What do you mean the baby is mine!?”

“The baby isn’t yours.”

“What do you mean the baby isn’t mine?!”

“You’re having someone else’s baby?! You’ve been cheating on me?”

“Surprise! I’m having a baby!”

“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?”

“Oh my gosh! You’re pregnant? I’m so happy!”

“I’m going to be a father!”

“I’m going to be a mother!”

“I thought you would be happier to hear the news..”

“It’s our baby not just mine! You can’t leave me like this!”

“Our baby needs you too.”

“Come feel, the baby’s kicking.”

“Congratulations!”

“Do you want to come with me to the ultrasound?”

“We’re going to be parents. This is amazing!”

“Are you crying?”

“I am, it’s just that.. I’m just so happy! We’re going to have a child”

“We have so much to do! So much to plan.”

“I’m having twins/triplets/quadruplets/etc.”

“This was so unplanned. How are we going to do this?”

“Surprise baby shower!”

“I think the baby is coming.”

“My water broke.”

“What?! Now?”

“I wanna hold my baby!”

“Is the baby okay?”

“He/she has your eyes, _”

“He’s/She’s beautiful.”

“I can’t believe it. We’re parents of this little bundle of joy.”

little things (fluffy)

“You’re glowing.”

“Am I showing yet?”

“Is it too early to pick names?”

“Turn to the side, I think your belly popped out.”

“No one is going to judge you for wearing Uggs all day.”

“Was that a kick?”

“Should we find out the gender or wait?”

“It’s a (boy/girl/twins/etc)”

uncomfortable situations (clean)

“I pray for the day the morning sickness passes.”

“Are you sure you need two gallons of ice cream?”

“I don’t even like jalapenos.”

“You just be glad I don’t mind rubbing feet.

“I know the body pillow is bulky but it’s the only way I can sleep.”

“No, sweetheart, I don’t think you can still fit in your favorite jeans.”

“Stop laughing and help me off the toilet/out of the bathtub/put on my shoes/etc.”

“I slept on the couch because you and junior took up the whole bed.”

“Listen, when you have a tiny human being kicking you in the bladder, you can decide when we stop to pee. Now pull over.”

really uncomfortable situations (dirty)

“I need you right now. I blame the hormones.”

“You look so sexy since your belly popped out.”

“Look, I’m just gonna lie on my side and you can do whatever.”

“Fuck, I don’t know if it’s the increased bloodflow but that feels good.”

“No, you can’t poke the baby in the head if we have sex.”

“It turns me on so much knowing that’s my kid in there.”

“They say sex induces labor you know.”

the big event (mix)

“I think that was a contraction.”

“No, we are not stopping at the drive-thru on the way to the hospital.”

“I don’t care how much I scream, I want to do this naturally.”

“That was the midwife, she’s on her way.”

“I think you broke my hand…”

“I don’t think we have time to get to the hospital…”

“This is happening right now.”

“My/your water just broke.”

“I’m scared to push!”

“There’s nothing to be scared of, now PUSH!”

the reward (fluffy)

“I thought we were having a (boy/girl) but he/she had other plans.”

“He/she has your nose…”

“I always thought babies were ugly, but ours is beautiful.”

“Look what we made…”

“You just rest, I’ll make sure everything’s ready for when we get home.”

“You’d be pissed too if you just got forcibly evicted in such a fashion.”

“I’m/you’re/we’re pregnant!”

“I took six tests, and they all came out positive.”

“This isn’t a stomach flu, I/you ought to take a test.”

“I only took the test as a joke! I didn’t think it would turn out positive!”

“Okay, I know we both took the test, but now I don’t remember which one is which. One of us is pregnant.”

“Dude I bet you $50 you’re pregnant.”

“You’ve been too nice for too long, I think you’re pregnant.”

“You’re right, I am pregnant!”

“I can’t believe you knew I’m pregnant before I did!”

“Are you sure you’re only having one baby?”

“The Doctor said we’re having ______.”

“I found this pregnancy test in the trash.. Somebody we know is pregnant!”

the mother’s pov :

❝Do you want to feel the baby kick?❞  

❝I’m eating for two, so let’s go grab some grub.❞  

❝I’m… pregnant… and it’s yours.❞

❝We need to talk, I need to tell you something..❞  

❝I’m too far along for an abortion.❞   

❝I need to know… if you love me, if you love us..❞  

❝It’s your baby I’m carrying…❞   

❝I want to find out the gender with you there.❞  

❝I’m so lucky to have you by side during this pregnancy.❞  

❝I wouldn’t want anyone else by side during this pregnancy.❞  

❝Do you feel that? It’s the baby… it’s kicking.❞  

❝I’m pregnant, I can’t act like a child anymore.❞  

❝I’m pregnant, not incapable.❞

❝I’m sorry you’ve had deal with my pregnancy hormones lately…❞  

❝I just wanted to wait to tell you, I wanted to know for sure I was keeping it.❞  

❝I’m not sure what to do anymore but it is your baby…❞  

❝This is just as much as your baby as it is mine.❞  

❝People have told me I’m glowing lately and I know why…❞  

❝I’m ready to be mom! More than what you think!❞  

❝I will be a great mother to my child, unlike you!❞  

❝This is my decision! Not yours!❞  

the father’s pov :

❝How far along are you? When did you find out?❞  

❝Well, that’s great news! Isn’t it? I think so.❞  

❝Wait, are you telling me, its my baby?❞

❝Well, how do you know its my baby?❞  

❝You’re carrying my child?! That’s great news!❞  

❝I love you and I’m ready to be a parent with you.❞  

❝I wouldn’t want a baby with anyone else other than you.❞  

❝How long have you known? Have you told anyone else yet?❞  

❝Well, I’ll get a job and help support you and our baby.❞  

❝Hey… don’t worry so much, okay? We can raise it.❞  

❝It’s going to be okay, we can do this.❞  

❝I have the perfect plan for you, me and our baby… a good plan.❞  

❝I was thinking… since you’re pregnant and all, would you marry me?❞  

❝I love you so much, that’s great news after the day I had.❞  

❝As long as we’re happy, as long as the baby is happy.❞  

❝I’m not abandoning you or my baby!❞

❝I’m not walking out on my kid like my parents did.❞  

❝I’m going to be here for you and our baby.❞

❝Why would you want that for our baby? You’re talking nonsense.❞  

❝I’m ready to be a father and you’ll make the best mother.❞  

❝I have never felt so lucky!❞  

❝This baby is a blessing and probably saved my life.❞  

❝Did you hear? I’m going to be a dad!❞  

❝I’m going to officially be a dad in a few months!❞  

❝I’ll be a much better dad than you ever were to me that’s for sure.❞  

❝My girlfriend is pregnant and she’s keeping it and I want her to keep it.❞  

❝Don’t tell me anything about being a dad when you never were one for me!❞  

❝Are you serious?! You’re pregnant?! That’s amazing, baby!❞  

❝Well, do you need anything? Anything at all?❞  

❝What? Something wrong with the baby?❞  

❝I just want to keep you and our babt safe and happy.❞  

❝I’m the luckiest guy in the world right now!❞  

“I’ve never had a child before…”

“How about ______ for a name?”

“Does it hurt?”

“You need to rest.”

“Let me look after you!”

“You’re huge!”

“I want to feel it kick.”

“Can I feel the bump?”

“Come quick! The baby’s kicking!”

“How many months along are you?”

“Y-You’re pregnant?”

“I’m pregnant.”

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“The baby is yours.”

“You’re beautiful, stretchmarks and all.”

“We’ll be okay, all three of us.”

“I’m so scared…”

“I love you more than I ever thought possible. Both of you.”

“These cravings of yours are getting out of hand…”

“I’m pregnant. What’s your excuse?”

“I don’t… I don’t feel well.”

“Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”

“If you hold my hand any tighter, it’s gonna break!”

“I hate you for doing this to me!”

“I look like a whale.”

“So I guess it’s true. Pregnancy does make you horny.”

“We’re having twins!”

“Oh God, what if the baby is like us?”

“It’s a surprise, but it’s a happy surprise, right?”

“I thought birth was only suppose to be painful for the mother!”

“How could I be a good parent when the only example I could learn from were my own?”

“Will you be my baby’s Godmother/Godfather?”

“I know nothing about parenting.”

“I can’t wait for the baby shower!”

“We need to marry before the baby is born. You know how traditional my family is.”

“…Your list of baby names is physically painful to listen to.”

“It’s kicking, it’s kicking!”

“Well? Is it a boy or a girl?”

“I could really do with a massage right about now…”

“Why don’t you want me at the birth?”

“I never thought you of all people would be the mother/father of my child.”

“Oh My God, my/your waters broken!”

“This world, this horrible, horrible world…Why would anyone in their right mind want to bring a child into it?”

“Stop pestering me about its gender. I’m keeping it a surprise!”

“Will you be with me for the birth?”

“Oh. I was hoping for a boy/girl…”

“What do you think of the name [insert name here]?”

“Morning sickness. I hate it.”

"I'm pregnant.."

"I'll just be in the bathroom throwing my fucking guts up because our unborn kid wants to be a dick.."

"You're pregnant?! How did this happen?! No, no, no, wait, don't tell me how it happened, never mind.."

"Happy Father's Day, babe!"

"Wait... you're having a what?!"

"There's someone I'd like you to meet.."

"Shh... he/she's sleeping.."

"Why couldn't YOU have been the one to get pregnant?! Why me?! The bad shit always happens to ME!"

"I have a special surprise for you. Close your eyes and follow me."

"He/She's killin' me, dude! When's he/she gonna come out?!"

"Oh, gosh, I felt it! I felt a kick!"

"Either what I just felt was a contraction or just a cramp... not really sure.."

"I am not getting rid of another life! How dare you even suggest that!"

"No, no, no, no, no, we aren't ready... we aren't ready for kids yet!"

“I wanna record the delivery.”

“I’m really scared of needles.”

“Since I’m due so close to [insert holiday], we should paint my belly like that.”

“Let’s do that belly cast thing!”

“The baby always moves when they hear your voice.”

“Little one’s getting cramped in there. Almost time to come out.”

“I’m excited to see my feet again.”

“I’m huge!”

“Come rub my belly!”

“The baby is moving, come and feel!”

“I think that was a real contraction.”

“It’s just more Braxton Hicks, don’t worry.”

“They don’t hurt, they’re just uncomfortable.”

“If you’re full term at 37 weeks, then why is pregnancy 40 weeks?”

“It is midnight on my due date and I am still pregnant.”

“You know due dates aren’t always right.”

“I don’t want the baby to be born on my birthday.”

“Come out, kid!”

“I’ve tried everything and they won’t come.”

“I can see it when the baby/ies moves! Wow!”

“Let’s get this stubborn little kid(s) out the same way we made him/her/them.”

“The baby/babies moving hurts now, it’s not cute anymore.”

“I am almost two weeks overdue. Proceed with caution.”

LABOR

“I can’t believe it’s already time.”

“Did you remember the bag?”

“My water didn’t break yet, don’t freak out.”

“I’ve been timing them and they’re consistent enough. Just gotta wait for them to get closer.”

“This is not as bad as I thought it would be.”

“I’m pretty sure my water broke.”

“I am not accountable for anything I say, but I do apologize beforehand.”

“Transition is the worst part.”

“I’m gonna miss everything.”

“One last bump shot before the big event.”

“I made a birth plan.”

“Babies laugh at birth plans.”

“This is so boring. I thought labor was supposed to be nerve-wracking.”

“I’m sorry I’m so loud, but it helps.”

“You make as much noise as you want. It’s perfectly normal.”

“Ohhh! OOOOOOHHH! SHIIIIT!”

“Just breathe, you’re okay.”

“Is it too late to get an epidural?”

“Is the midwife on her way?”

“Can you set up the pool, please?”

“Fuck, it hurts!”

“I don’t wanna push on my back.”

“Hoo-hoo-hoo…”

“Make it stop!”

“I feel like I’m in a vice, but between them I’m fine.”

“I just want the baby safe.”

“Fuck breathing, you have the baby!”

BIRTH

“I feel so much pressure…”

“Oh, I think it’s go time.”

“I really need to push!”

“Get the camera, get the camera!”

“Don’t push yet, the doctor isn’t here.”

“What position do you wanna do this in?”

“I scared I won’t know how to push.”

“It’s instinct. You’ll know. I promise.”

“Only push when you have a contraction.”

“Grab behind your knees and bear down.”

“Don’t you dare laugh at the faces I make when I push.”

“Let gravity help, you’re doing great.”

“This position isn’t working. Let’s try something new.”

“Come on, push your baby out.”

“I’ve been pushing for [x amount of time], why isn’t it coming out?”

“My head feels like it’s gonna explode!”

“NNGH! HHNNNGGHH!”

“It burns!”

“Just a few more pushes, good job.”

“FUUUCCKK!”

“If you tell me ‘good job’ one more time, I will wring your neck!”

“Push, babe, push!”

“Shut up, I’m pushing!”

“I’m too tired, I can’t do it.”

“I have something to tell you…”

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“I’m pregnant!”

“When were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant?”

“You’re smart and successful with an adorable belly.”

“$50 bucks says it’s a girl/boy.”

“Pregnancy suits you…”

“Hello little one. We can’t wait to meet you…”

#danganronpa #dangan ronpa #pregnancy #pregnancy meme #pregnancy prompts #send me asks #please #i beg of you #ask meme #prompt #fic prompt #fanfiction #specify fandom #specify ship #specify character

[comeondowntosouthparkrpg-blog]

Esther Stoley

Is she going to whip her brother into shape? Esther has been accepted! Please send in a faceclaim to be featured on the main page.

out of character info

Name/Alias: bea / trizzy / beatriz Pronouns: she / her / he / him / they / them / trash Age: 19 (20 in May) Join Our Discord: sure thing !! Timezone: est Activity: 6 – ish ( i’ll be on at least every other day c: ) Triggers: nada !! Password: jimmy can fast pass my ass ;)) Character that you’re applying for: Esther Stoley Favourite ships for your character: Esther / Chemistry

in character info

Full name: Esther Lyn Stoley Birthday: June 18th Sexuality, gender, pronouns: Bicurious, cis female, she / her Age and grade: 17, senior Faceclaim: Ha Young / @dull_ouuo on instagram Appearance:  Head / face: Smooth, nearly flawless, pale skin is the product of Esther’s constant skin care routine and her jet black, shoulder length hair frames her heart shaped face. Her features are soft but defined with a jaw line that could cut diamonds. Her eyes are a deep brown, followed by a button nose, and plump lips that are, more often than not, lightly coated in lip tint. Her only “imperfections” are two small moles – one on her left cheek, and the other on the left side of her nose.

Body: Her body is rather thin, but still healthy. She stands at approximately 5’1 and weighs about 102 pounds. She hates the fact that she’s so short, and would definitely fight you if you start picking on her about her height. Aside from her height issues, she is happy with her body.

Style: The clothing that Esther chooses to wear can be described Asian Street Style. Her outfits are self-described as eclectic and eccentric – which essentially means each ensemble varies and can possibly be viewed as strange or extraordinary, especially for the South Park norm. Her face is often lightly painted with makeup – her eyes are usually lined with a dark brown or black and have either light or neutral colored eye shadow, and her lips vary from dark, matte lipsticks ( usually shades of red ) to soft, glossy tints. Personality:  Smart, conniving, hopeless romantic, and chic – that’s Esther. She maintains straight A’s in school with the occasional B plus, but anything below won’t satisfy her need for success, so she tries her hardest and can often be found locked in her room, listening to music and studying for her next quiz. Despite her smarts, she can often be a bit air-headed and forgetful at times – which stresses her out, especially when she knows that she had forgotten something and she just can’t remember what it was, no matter how hard she wracked her brain. She often dreams about finding love – but she usually doesn’t put herself out there as much as she should – so she usually doesn’t get into relationships ( although she does had the occasional secret fling ).

She can be found at parties quite regularly, but she is more of an introvert and would much rather be snuggled up in a big, fluffy, fresh-out-of-the-dryer blanket with a plethora of snacks at her disposal while she watches some random movies or reads some books. She does keep a lot of secrets from just about everyone – especially anyone outside of her family – she’d hate if she came upon some gossip of herself. She can be overly emotional at times – but she hardly ever shows that to anyone. On the days she feels like she’s gonna burst out into tears at any second, she stays home and locks herself in her bedroom, somehow convincing her teachers that she was bedridden and sick on those absent days. History:  Like her brother, Esther spent a good portion of her childhood immersed in a whole ‘nother world away from the mess of a town that they lived in – however, instead of comics and syfy – she indulged in love stories and cringy fantasy novels. As she got older, she started to stray away from her false world and came back into reality. She interacted more and more with the girls at her school – even becoming pretty popular and being brought into the “inner circle” of girls. Of course, a great deal of things changed over the switch from elementary to middle school – Esther even made changes to her personality. She became more secretive and hid the softer and kinder side of herself so she wouldn’t accidentally get involved with the wrong people and hurt herself and nobody would see her as weak or as easy prey. She kept her emotions to herself and acted colder to people around her. Puberty hit her like a freight train – she was covered in acne as a pre-teen and all of a sudden her skin was soft and clear with hardly any marks or blemishes in sight. Esther felt better now that she looked better ( in her opinion of course ). She started gaining a ton of positive self esteem and held herself in a way where she exuded a level of confidence. She honestly felt like a queen. As she made the transition into 12th grade, she – thankfully – kept that confidence and self esteem boost ( though she did still get emotional at times, because, who doesn’t? ), but she did start taking time away from being social to live another life through books once again. Sample paragraph:  Esther had just gotten off school and since she hadn’t had anything else to do for the day she decided to sit down and relax with a nice book. In order for her to really enjoy said book, she had to set a mood. She threw her backpack into a corner by the door and took off her shoes, running to start up a pot of coffee. The short girl quickly put on a pot of coffee and quickly and quietly, ran to her room – she shut the blinds and lit a few floral scented candles, making the room dark, but well lit enough for her to be able to read her book. She purposely messed her bed up, forming a nest of blankets in the center and ran back down to her kitchen to fix herself a cup of coffee. She poured the freshly brewed instant coffee into a teal mug, mixing in a small bit of sugar before carefully bringing it up to her bedroom and sitting it down on her nightstand. She went over to one of her several bookshelves and pulled out a book that she’d planned on reading for a while called ‘Siren’ by a woman named Janet Fox.

She went over to her blanket nest and made herself cozy, pulling one of the blankets over her shoulders. Before she started to read, she took a long sip of coffee, then she opened to the first page. For nearly two hours, she was fully immersed in her book – reading about gangsters in the 1920’s. However, as soon as her brother opened her door to see if she was home, her set mood was ruined. She accepted that she was no longer to envelope herself in as much comfort as she was in before and put her book away. She blew out the candles and allowed natural light to shine through her blinds once more as she sipped up the last bit of her coffee. Headcanons:  ✧ Sometimes, she ( not-so-secretly ) reads Kevin’s comics. ✧ She would 10/10 fight to protect her brother. ✧ If you get into a relationship with her, she can be a bit clingy, so beware. ✧ She secretly crushed on all of the Goths in middle school, with the exception of Firkle, because she thought they were all really cool. ✧ She changes her hair up every other month – it’s always one of these 3 colors – grey with slight blue tints, brown, or black. Black is by far her favorite hair color for herself and she has that color most often. ✧ She’s almost always up-to-date on the latest gossip and drama in town. ✧ She has an intense love of poetry. ✧ There’s a raven that is often in her backyard and she feeds it when she sees it. ✧ She has 3 full length bookshelves in her room and one small bookshelf that doubles as her nightstand. ✧ She may not say nor show it much but she loves Kevin with all of her heart. ✧ That being said, if anyone hurts Kevin, you better avoid Esther as much as you can or else you’re in for a beating. ✧ She knows quite a lot of Chinese; and she often shouts in Mandarin when she’s angry. ✧ She has at least 4 cups of coffee a day. ✧ She smokes when she’s stressed ( strictly cigarettes ) ✧ She lost her virginity at 15 to Bradley Biggle – not her greatest achievement. ✧ She broke up with Bradley shortly afterwards – he thinks it was mutual and they’re on good terms – but she sent him home sobbing and she would most definitely stab him if it was morally accepted and she wouldn’t go to jail for it. ✧ She has a Siamese Cat named BaoBei – meaning “baby” in Chinese. ✧ She’s head of the school newspaper. ✧ She’s considered joining the poetry club – but she doesn’t think her own poetry would be good enough for it – and so she didn’t. ✧ She took up a job at Benny’s as a waitress for some extra cash. ✧ She really likes looking at art, but she’s not really into art, if you get what I mean. ✧ She loves the vintage aesthetic. ✧She’s not the best cook, but she can microwave stuff, and that’s better than nothing. ✧ Her favorite color is dark teal. Anything else: tell me if i should change anything !! thank you guys !! also, sorry i gave such random hc’s i just got a ton of muse + ideas. in addition, this blog i’m sending from will be esther’s once i do some re-vamping uwu

#accepted #submission

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

(1/6) In advance, sorry if this sounds clipped but I'm rewriting an 11 part ask because that's just too much and it feels like it would be rude to send such a long question. Somehow it's still long. So my background is: mostly used to aro and ace communities, don't have much experience with the lgbt+ community at large (trying to work on that), the way the aro/ace communities break concepts like attraction down really helped me figure out what my orientation was. Questioning my gender now and

(2/6) having a hard time finding resources that help me clarify my feelings instead of making me even more confused. I started researching thinking that they would be similar to aro and ace resources, going to the root of things and saying “What even is attraction, let’s define it” and breaking it down into chunks instead of trying to tackle the whole thing at once (see the split attraction model). Instead I found many lists of labels and pronouns, trans 101 that was at the same time too basic (3/6) and not basic enough, and “Gender is a feeling, masculinity/femininity/androgyny/etc are feelings too, no one can tell you what your gender is but you”. My request isn’t for anyone to tell me what my gender is, I’ll figure that out myself. But I feel I’m lacking the tools to do it. So does anyone have any resources, be they articles/blogs/life experiences and stories written by trans people/etc that breaks things like the feelings of gender as a whole, masculinity, femininity, androgyny,(4/6) agender, and dysphoria down (not coded behaviors or presentation, but what they actually FEEL like. These are the things that I’m most confused about and most want some sort of answer or definition for) in the style aro/ace resources do for attraction/orientation? To figure this out I need some sort of starting point or foothold or anchor for this instead of “it’s a feeling” when I don’t know what that feeling could be. But “Nobody can tell you what you are” sounds much more like defeat(5/6) than freedom to me rn. I’ve heard it said that gender is experienced differently by everyone, and if it’s really just some nebulous unidentifiable feeling that literally cannot be put into words then I can learn to live with the fact I’ll just never understand it, but… it just seems like there HAS to be some sort of commonality in the feeling of gender, the feeling of femininity/masculinity/all the rest that could be prevalent enough to say what that feeling IS and used to help people (6/6) figure out better who they are and who they want to be. For the ones like me who don’t even know what they’re feeling or what they want to be, just that they don’t want to feel like they do now.

Kii says:You’ve got a lot here, and you’re right. Gender is really confusing, and it really is something that 100 different people will give you 100 different answers about. Some people do feel their gender is best described by more visible aspects, such as behaviors, clothing, desired body, hobbies, etc, but some people don’t, and for them, it is just a feeling that isn’t describable, they just know internally what gender they are and can’t always explain why. 

However, just because there are feelings doesn’t mean that everyone’s feelings are the same, like the commonality you’re mentioning. You know the old “how do we know that your green is the same as my green?” Two people could be seeing the exact same item, both agree that it’s green, but how does anyone know that if I saw the same item through your eyes, I would still call it green? Your eyes might be structured completely differently than mine. Your green might be my purple, etc. I think the same goes for the words “masculine” and “feminine”- I can give you words that I associate with each, but a lot of people might disagree. 

Think of a person that you consider to be very masculine (whether they ID as a man or not)- why do you see them as masculine? Is it because of how they dress? What their body looks like? Because they like cars, sports, etc? How they act or other elements of their personality? Do the same for someone who you feel is very feminine (whether they ID as a woman or not). How is your “masculine” person different than your “feminine” person?

Androgyny is usually described as the intersection or mix of masculinity and femininity, so to figure out what you associate with androgyny, you kind of have to figure that out first.

We have a whole page about dysphoria, since that’s a more concrete concept. There are lots of descriptions there on how different people describe dysphoria and how it feels.

We also have this post, which a lot of people have tried to make helpful to questioning people, as well as this ask where various mods described what gender feels like to them.

Harper Says:I would also suggest a broader understanding of gender (and sexuality). You’re looking for a commonality that is not found uniformly in lived/expressed experiences - perhaps you might find it fleetingly, strangely, but I doubt it will come with much uniform clarity. The assumption that there has to be a commonality, a universality, is one that potentially assumes a (purely) medical/psychological account of gender and sexuality. Experiences of gender will necessarily intersect with other forms of systematic oppression: race, disability, and so on; and so each account of gendered experience has to be uncommon.Try instead understanding gender as part of a wider system of oppression rigged to benefit white cis men. In this, bodies, activities, sexualities, (and many other things) are codified and performed within a system of oppression. This is the way as far as I, and many other thinkers, understand gender. When you ask for gender as “not coded behaviors or presentation, but what they actually FEEL like” I think you misunderstand that gender is easily and always both. The performances, the risks, the transgressions, that commonly make up transgender experiences are inescapably coded behaviours - we don’t live in a society that isn’t oppressive. That is why there is such fear and thrill in a trans woman shaving her legs for the first time, or a trans man using the men’s bathroom for the first time. The emotion and feeling wouldn’t be there if such transgressions weren’t coded in a system of oppression that frowns upon such behaviours. Gender is always on some level something that is done and the doing is bound up with being. To strive for a definition that reduces one to the other or excludes one or the other is as far as I understand it, a misunderstanding, and this is perhaps where your confusion comes from.With this understanding I would then say that it is not very surprising that you’re finding dead-ends and confusion by trying to parse an understanding of gender through split-attraction model type thinking. This is a relatively recent way of thinking about sexuality within the LGBT community, (one that I personally find no stock in), butting up against around thirty years of queer feminist thought, and a whole history of LGBT lives and experiences. You will probably find that trying to think through gender in ace/aro modes of thought is an impossible task without this appreciation of transgender history or an understanding of heterosexuality as the oppressive action of gender.I’m not surprised then, that you find defeat instead of freedom; for many, gender is something that is survived. Freedom can only come with the abolition of gender, that is the end of the “material, social, and economic dominance of men and exploitation of women” (Escalante). So to speak of a commonality, perhaps start reading about how these oppressive systems work. Understanding all of this is not an easy task. Below I’ll feed a few pointers on a theoretical level, and as such can throw up inaccessible language. My hope is that if you do struggle with any of it, from here you can google keywords and hopefully find more sources that suit you better.For the theoretical exploration of such see: Judith Butler’s Gender Trouble, and Monique Wittig’s The Straight Mind and Other Essays (see One is Not Born a Woman - I haven’t yet managed to find a pdf for the whole book). Or key words: material feminism, Butler, gender performance, heterosexuality, the straight mind. CW: (this will be quite broad but I know Wittig talks about:) pornography, sexual harassment, slavery.For an account of gender which explores these concepts see Susan Stryker’s My Words to Victor Frankenstein…. In this Stryker mixes a lived personal experience with gender as a trans woman alongside theoretical musings. Key words: transfeminism, transgender studies, transgender rage. CW: surgery, suicide, TERF stuff, pregnancy, birth.I would also recommend investing yourself in transgender voices and histories, so you can see how a varied approach to gender throughout history has been undertaken and lived. How complexities and contradictions have been embodied and embraced complexly by trans individuals. See Paris is Burning for what has become an important moment in LGBT cinema and history. CW death, accounts of violence, mentions of surgery, talk about sex.Also check out One From the Vaults a trans history podcast by Morgan M. Page. (Also available on iTunes, etc. I think.) In this engrossing podcast, Page tells the stories of various trans - or at least gender transgressive - people throughout history, including clips of them, letters, interviews, etc.. It comes with “all the dirt, gossip, and glamour from trans history” and so shows the variety of our trans ancestors throughout history, good and bad, happy and sad; encompassing all different ways of doing gender and different ways of being.In terms of your own personal questioning of gender, I would do as I advised here. Do gender: evoke man, evoke woman, evoke neither. Try things out, see what you feel. Explore yourself and your own embodiment and explore the feelings that arise out of this. At the end of the day, gender isn’t something that originates from books and articles, it is lived and done out in the world.I wish you the very best on your journey!

#harper says #Anonymous #kii says #caps #what is gender #wittig #butler #split attraction model #transfeminism #long post #questioning #trans history #trans media

[playmakersama-blog]

salty mun all numbers

1. What’s the worst role playing experience you’ve had?

I was in the Rockman.EXE/Megaman NT Warrior fandom a while back and I played the character Injuin Enzan/Chaud Blaze. The was a blog for a genderbent Blues/Protoman. They were great at first and were fun to rp with but there came a point where I hadn’t replied to stuff for a while and they ended up in my inbox screaming at me, demanding that I stop ignoring them because they knew I was online. I immediately blocked them and haven’t talked to them since.

2. What would cause you to leave a fandom?

Toxicity is the main reason. If there are very toxic people or the fandom as a whole is toxic, I can’t handle it and will likely leave if it gets too out of hand.

3. Why did you leave your last fandom?

The last fandom I left because it was toxic and the type to take personal/private issues with other roleplayers and drag it out into the open so the entire fandom could bash on whichever rper was being dragged. I got involved because I wanted to try and de-escalate things, but it didn’t go well. I haven’t been on much on that blog since.

4. What are some things you are tired of seeing in the RPing community?

Again toxicity. I’ve been lucky so far that this fandom hasn’t been toxic to each other. But others like the last one I was in, can be awful about it. I’m happy that there hasn’t been the discourse there has been in other fandoms.

5. Have you ever had to block someone or cut off contact with them?

See question 1.

6. Your view on Mary/Gary sues?

I think it depends from blog to blog. However, I’m not the type to hate on people’s muses that are deemed Mary/Gary Sues. I’m the kind of person who if the person asks how they can improve their muse I will give my input on how to balance things out, but I don’t expect them to make those changes as they are only suggestions.

7. Things that you will not tolerate?

Hate is the biggest thing. I will defend others to the very end if they’re being bullied or getting anon hate or any hate in general. The other thing I will only slightly tolerate is godmodding to a degree. If you’re new to rp or if you’re not sure how to do certain things, there will be some godmodding going on. If it happens I will usually tell my partner about it, unless it’s something unavoidable like my muse it unconscious and you have to move them somewhere they’ll be safe. If I warn my partner and they don’t listen then I may drop a thread without warning.

8. Has anyone hurt/betrayed you?

Not that I can think of off the top of my head. I’ve never actually been one to receive hate so I can’t say.

9. Your view on minors interacting with muns that are older than 18?

As an 18+ mun myself, it really depends on the situation. If there is nothing sexually intimate going on between the muses then that’s fine. However if you are an underage mun and you don’t tell the other mun and do NSFW then that is a betrayal of trust and could get the other mun into serious trouble because if the age of consent is younger in one place doesn’t mean it’s the same elsewhere. As long as there is no sexual acts between the two muses where one mun is a minor and the other isn’t, then it’s alright by me.

10. Your opinion with ships between muses that include a minor and a legal adult?

Okay that depends on the case. If the muses are say 16-17 and 18-20 then I’m mostly okay with this. However if one muse is say 14-16 or under and the other muse is 21+ then there is no way I would be okay with that. Again it also depends on the ship. If the ship is romantic then hell no, but if it’s platonic or familial then that’s okay.

11. Have you ever received anon hate?

Nope.

12. Your opinion on people giving canon characters mental illnesses?

This is another case by case basis. If you can rationally explain why they have the said illness then it’s okay by me. For example, before we found out that Yusaku had PTSD, a lot of his behaviors were very similar to Autism. So using canon behavior to justify a mental illness is fine.

If the mun of that muse has a mental illness and projects it onto their character, that’s fine too. However one thing that sort of bothers me is when a mun gives the canon character a mental illness without either having that illness or using canon signs and behaviors to justify it. The ones who try to romaticize mental illness this way are the ones who bother me.

13. Your opinion on straight shipping?

You mean like shipping a guy and a girl? I’m completely fine with it. It only bothers me when anti-straight shipper say that “this guy” should just die so that “this girl” can be with “that girl” because “this guy” is ruining their ship even when that straight ship is canon.

14. Your opinion on muns making canon characters Trans/ gender fluid etc.?

Until I figured out for myself that I was transgender (female to male), this whole topic made me uncomfortable and I understand that people want diversity and representation. However the issue was taking a canonically cis character (where it was stated they were their canon gender since birth) and forcing them into being trans and seeing evidence in the show where there is none. However I’ve only had one exception to this happen that I feel like a hypocrite for. In another fandom it was widely accepted by almost the entire fandom that this one character was a Female to Male transgender and was actually one of my favorite characters. There was also very little known about the character so it didn’t bother me all that much either so eventually I made my muse (of that character) go from cis to trans. This also gave me the courage to actually come out to my family tbh.

15. What is your biggest pet peeve?

Hate and godmodding as I explained above.

16. How much does it take for you to get angry/upset? How long does it usually last?

I like to think that I’m a pretty chill guy so it takes a lot to bother me when it comes to rp stuff. I’m usually very patient too. If I do get upset it takes about a day or two and a lot of ranting at my sister about it.

17. Something that you find unforgivable?

HATE AND DISCOURSE

18. Have you ever felt like something off about someone?

Hm. I guess it depends on the person? Also I guess it depends on what you mean by off? I mean sometimes I can tell by writing if our styles will mesh well or if something’s off about it. Or sometimes I can tell if someone is upset by the way they type messages to me so it could be that way too.

19. What’s the worst thing that has happened to you in the rping community (Within an ooc situation)?

The major discourse that happened in the last fandom I was in. That’s probably the worst of it.

20. Wild card: The mun discusses any situation/problem they want.

My problem is, I’m not on here enough and if I don’t do Yugioh related stuff, a lot of things pertaining more to Playmaker/Yusaku, then I lose touch with my muse and will have a hard time doing stuff. I am sort of binge watching a few episode of VRAINS at a time to get icons for Yusaku and Playmaker so focusing on those help too.

#amiiera

[generalrhapsodosarchives]

Hey, I was thinking of starting a Genesis rp blog, and was wondering what sort of advice you had considering you have such an amazing Genesis rp blog yourself.

// .___. I am a potato that goes with the flow friend, but thank you! Ahh….well ok, are you asking from the stance of you have never run a rp blog? Or have you had one before in a different fandom orrr? Kinda effects the answers really. Going with the former, one thing I will stress is have a clear info/rules page. Many people will look for this as a guide or a sort of gauge of if they feel they have the green light to go interact with you, or as a way to draw comfort that they won’t offend or misread your muse before replying if you are the one to approach first. In all reality I should change my info page to just ‘info’ and not 'basic blog info’because mobile users especially will look for ease of access in safari browsers. In all honestly a lot of my pages really need to get a facelift since I haven’t touched them since I made this blog a few years ago. Anyway, moving on! 2! Never feel obligated to go 'fancy’. There is no truly correct way to roleplay, though many of us tend to gravitate to para format or average sentence structures and not the whole *action here* form unless we’re fooling around and writing crack with one another. There’s nothing wrong with it, but it’s just what I’ve noticed. Don’t stress over having fancy detailed tags, or having unrelated posts on your blog. You don’t need special headers and font types, or bolded speech patterns to be considered a 'good’ or 'quality’ blog. How you reach that status is you have a clear understanding of your muse and be kind. You can be selective, you can be open, all that matters is be polite, and in some cases be the bigger person. 3! Don’t feel obligated to use icons or reaction gifs. Many of us do, I do when I am actually on my computer. Some of us don’t, and honestly I find it some real saddening bullshit when bloggers begin worrying or feeling inferior to other role players just because they opt not to use icons. That’s not what all this is about. 4: communicate! Try not to be like me in this sense. I am absolutely shit with communication at times, and this can hurt people unintentionally. Don’t be afraid to pop over to a partner and relay if you feel uncomfortable with where a thread is going, what their muse is doing, or if for some reason you don’t want to roleplay with them. But again, be polite. 5: find a friendly hub and network of people to surround yourself with. Every fandom has its bad apples and toxic corners that many people want to just punt into the void of the abyss, try and avoid these. I find myself pretty fortunate to have landed immediately into one of the very good corners upon starting this blog, everyone here has been absolutely amazing, understanding and supportive. The only drama I have ever seen was from 3rd party blogs where I knew who was involved or targeted, but I was a outside viewer the entire time. Honestly I find it a giant testimate to how good of a network I’ve landed in, that to this day, after almost 3-4 years on this blog, and 660+ followers in, I have never received a single piece of anon hate. Honestly I find it rather baffling. But I digress! Build yourself a network of positive welcoming people, build yourself a little hub of good friends, and you’re good!6: on the flip side of this. If you find yourself in a toxic area, and end up receiving anonymous hate DO NOT REPLY TO IT. Don’t post it, don’t reply, just delete it immediately, and if you need, go talk to a friend for support afterwards, cause that sort of thing understandably makes ya feel pretty shitty. As someone else in a post I saw said, replying to anon hate is what they want. Whoever was small and bitter enough to try and tear you down to make themselves feel better is going to be sitting there on their phone or at their computer. They’re going to be constantly refreshing their browser, monitoring your blog, waiting like a goddamn vulture to see the results of you getting attacked. They send those things for reactions. They feed off the negativity they spread. Don’t give them any satisfaction. Be the bigger person and ignore it. If it continues, there are ways out there to blog the IP address of whoever is sending the anonymous messages for good. Then they won’t be able to even access your blog. 7: Your muse, your portrayal. don’t let anyone else dictate how you write your character, especially when it comes to sexuality and identities since that seems to be a hot topic lately. I personally write my Genesis as being a cis flamboyant as all shit gay man, some people have him straight, I’ve seen some peg him as gender fluid, and all of these are wonderful! I’ve just learned through writing and even reading some fanfic that my personal muse has 0 interest in women. I read a very well done fic where Gen was with Aerith, and my muse was just blank the whole time, he didn’t care, he wasn’t interested. It didn’t inspire me and the character to do anything. As long as you’re writing a character, and nurturing a muse, you’re putting your heart into them, you’re giving them attention, you’re showing 'I love this character so much, I want to make their character deeper. I love them so much I’m going to build them up and expand on what their creators never showed us’. Who is to say this character wasn’t into this topic, or this hobby, in real life there are people that have interests and quirks you would NEVER expect by looking at them and learning the sheer surface of who they were, so this goes the same for our characters. 8: and last but not least ROLEPLAY IS A HOBBY. It is an escape for us, a way to have fun with other people, and you should never ever stress yourself out over it. If you get too overloaded, don’t be afraid to ask a partner if you could drop threads, take a break, anything. Because, if roleplay starts to make you stressed, it’s not a hobby anymore. It’s not a fun escape, and it should never feel like a job. Don’t be afraid if you lose your muse for a while, it happens all the time, people will understand. Don’t feel bad if you have to take breaks and leave for a while, or just lurk and stop role playing for a while. It happens to all of us! So essentially, have fun. That’s about all I can think to offer at the moment, but by all means nonnie! If you have any more questions or anything specific you want to know, my inbox is always open, and you will never be a bother.

#anonymous #asks #rp tips