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nuclearanomaly · 2 years

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Sugar is Sweet

Is it a date if you both agree to go out and it just so happens to be Valentione’s Day and you both happen to really like each other but neither of you do anything to acknowledge that? [Modern | Bookshop AU. | wc 7046 ]

Estinien checked his coat pocket again, for the millionth time since leaving his apartment earlier that afternoon. He didn’t need to check. The box that was tucked into his coat was still there. As it had been the time before, and the time before that. His breath clouded his view momentarily as he exhaled, nervously.

He stood just outside the entrance to Page 64, shifting slightly in the cold, eyeing the warm light that spilled out of the cluttered windows and poster plastered door. He checked his pocket again. Still there.

Maybe he should text first, a casual message about being in the neighbourhood before stopping in. Or maybe—he jumped as the door abruptly opened and a rare customer started to exit the store. They gave Estinien a perplexed look as he shuffled out of the way before stepping aside and holding the door for him.

Shit.

“Thanks.” He mumbled as he slipped past and into the store.

The comforting smell of old paper greeted him, accompanied by the overfilled shelves and stacks of books and as he made his way further into the store, Ninira. She sat at her usual spot at the counter, busy at her computer after the departure of her customer. He smiled, she hadn’t noticed him yet. The light from the laptop screen reflected in her glasses, her brow furrowed slightly in concentration. As he drew closer she must have sensed his presence as she started to look up a greeting halfway formed before she realized who she was talking to.

“Hel–oh! Estinien! What are you doing here?” She blinked, shocked. “It’s Tuesday, don’t you have band practice?”

“Cancelled.” He fished the stool tucked under the side of the counter out and took a seat. His stool. Going through the motions of taking it out and sitting on it was second nature by this point. “Some of the others have plans tonight.”

“Oh, that’s too bad. I’m sorry.”

He shrugged, “it’s no big deal. Our next show isn’t until the end of the month. Besides, I was able to get some work shit done instead. Thought I’d stop in since I was dropping stuff off at the store.” A small lie. She didn’t need to know that all he had done in the back room of his own store was kill time, pacing nervously while watching the clock tick closer to Page 64’s closing time.

Ninira smiled in a way that made Estinien’s gut flutter stupidly. “You know that you’re always welcome to.” She lifted a couple books stacked beside her laptop before sliding off her stool. “Make yourself comfortable, I’m just going to put these back.”

It was a bold statement considering it felt like a majority of the store had little to no organization to begin with. Ninira did claim that some parts had more order than others, and perhaps these books were from one such section as it wasn’t too long before she returned empty handed.

“You’re closing soon right?”

“Yep.” Ninira hopped back up onto her seat, turning her head to glance at the time as she did so. “In about twenty minutes.”

Estinien nodded, but under the counter his leg trembled anxiously. “Want to grab something to eat when you’re done?”

Ninira’s expression fell. “I’m sorry. I can’t…”

It was as if his heart had plummeted. “Oh… you have plans?” He fought to keep his face neutral.

“W–what? No!” She laughed in disbelief, “not at all. It’s just…”

Estinien watched, frowning, as her shoulders sagged. “Money’s tight this month. Foot traffic is already slow being winter, but with how cold it’s been recently it’s just been… hard.”

“How hard?” The fact that Ninira didn’t have it easy balancing the cost of her store wasn’t news to him, but the thought of her skimping on essential things to do so…

She blinked, as if surprised he cared. “I’m fine!” His furrowed brow obviously didn’t convince her as she tried to give him what was probably supposed to be a reassuring smile. “I promise! I just have to watch what I’m spending… so I can’t really splurge on dinner. I’m sorry. Maybe when things pick back up again?”

“Or, how about, I buy you dinner?”

“Estinien… I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not. I’m offering.” He was aware that his leg had begun to shake nervously under the counter once more. “Nothing fancy, we can get Hingan, or there’s that new Hannish place that opened that we talked about trying.”

Still Ninira squirmed, noncommittal.

“Well, think about it, at least.” This wasn’t exactly going as planned. “Do you need help with anything before closing?”

She jumped at the change of subject, “yes! If you don’t mind…”

Estinein shook his head as he rose from his stool, shrugging out of his jacket as he did so. “I offered.” He draped his jacket over the stool, careful to make it seem nonchalant but while also taking care not to jostle it too much less he disturb the contents tucked away inside. “What do you need?”

Ninira sheepishly tapped a large cardboard box that he had failed to notice sitting on the counter. “Can you take that to the back office? I’ll need to go through it later.”

Walking around and peeking into the top, Estinien was unsurprised to find it full of books. “Are these new?”

“Mmm… they were brought in this afternoon by a very nice old man.”

He sighed before rapping Ninira, lightly, on the top of her head with his knuckle. “You have to stop accepting this shit.”

“I–I know!” She rubbed her head. “But he was so passionate about them and I couldn’t say no!”

“If he was passionate about them, he would have kept them.” Estinien grunted as he lifted the box into his arms, it was heavier than it looked. “The fuck is in here? Weighs a ton.”

“I think he said something about encyclopedias. I haven’t had a chance to really look.”

Of course it was. Some old geezer’s dusty out of date encyclopedias that no one in their right mind would want. He hefted the box higher in his arms as he started through the shelves towards the back of the store. She better not have paid for them. On top of all her other expenses the last thing she needed was to be made to feel sympathetic towards buying some old trash books. Perhaps he should have come over sooner, at last he could have been an intimidating presence.

Between helping to move items and cleaning around the store it wasn’t long before Ninira was switching over the open sign and locking the door. Estinien watched as she sighed, stretching her arms above her head as she made her way back towards where he was leaning against the counter.

“Thanks again for helping.”

He shrugged. “It’s no problem.”

She continued past him, as she worked through the motions of closing up for the night.

“Don’t know about you, but I’m starving.” Out of the corner of his eye he watched as she froze in place while he continued. “I could go for a big plate of biryani, maybe some samosas, fresh naan.”

He was sure he heard Ninira whine faintly.

“Papadums and tikka masala, or perhaps vindaloo.”

Ninira snorted. “You can’t handle vindaloo.”

Estinien turned, “that’s what you think.”

“Last time we went for ramen you got one labeled mild and almost died.”

Almost died was definitely an exaggeration. Yes, the broth had been much hotter than he had expected. Yes, the server had warned him. Yes, he’d destroyed napkin after napkin trying to mop up the endless tears and snot streaming down his face while Ninira had wheezed into her far spicier bowl of soup. It had been agony, but also—he thought fondly of Ninira sitting across the table from him, her own tears in her eyes from laughing—a very good night. “I’ve improved my tolerance since then.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it.”

He raised his eyebrows at her, “well…” and watched as her expression fell and she started to retreat back into the version of herself that worried about stupid things like, bothering him.

“Come on, Nini. At the very least it will be better than whatever the fuck you have waiting upstairs.”

That earned him a sheepish grin, “I don’t know… half a can of tinned soup is hard to beat.”

Estinien frowned. She was skimping on necessities. “Don’t make me physically carry you to the restaurant, because I will. You deserve a good meal.” As if on queue Ninira’s stomach let out a growl loud enough that even he could hear. “Sounds like your stomach agrees.”

She sighed, before raising her hands in defeat. “Fine, I’ll go.”

Estinien grinned. Success.

“Just give me a minute and I’ll go get my stuff.”

Estinien snatched his jacket off his stool, pulling it back on as he followed her through the shelves to the back of the store. Here he waited at the base of the stairs that led up to Ninira’s apartment for her return, his fingers drumming against his leg as his nerves returned in full force. It wasn’t long until Ninira reappeared bundled in her winter gear. Cute. Estinien caught himself thinking at the sight of her; though, he pretty much always thought of her as cute in anything she wore. “Ready?” He asked, and Ninira nodded.

The restaurant Estinien had in mind was further into the city. A short ride on the subway got them most of the way there and despite the cold and now falling snow, they opted to walk the rest of the way. Also despite the fact that they were now arriving past what Estinien would have considered dinner time there was a line of people, mostly couples, waiting on the sidewalk outside of the restaurant doors.

“It’s busy,” Ninira observed.

“That must mean the food is good, at least.” He glanced down at her. “If you’re cold and don’t want to wait we can try somewhere else though.”

“It’s okay,” they shuffled forward as the line moved. “The line is moving. Besides, it seems like everywhere has been busy tonight.”

Estinien watched as Ninira eyed the waiting couples and passing crowds. Watched as she pieced together the thing he was hoping she wouldn’t have noticed.

“Wait,” She looked up at him, “isn’t today Valentione’s Day?”

It was. There was a reason band practice had been cancelled, as the majority of the other’s plans had involved their desire to spend time with their significant others. Understandable, though he could have done without their bonus desire to bother him about doing something himself. Despite knowing this, Estinien shrugged before making a show of fishing his phone out of his pocket to check the date. “Huh, so it is…”

Ninira chuckled, “No wonder everywhere is packed. I guess we should consider ourselves lucky that the line isn’t longer.”

“Well isn’t it supposed to be all stuffy candle lit dinners? Going for Hannish probably isn’t considered very romantic.”

“People who think that are missing out then. This is way better, in my opinion.”

Estinien smiled, pleased. “You’re just biased because you like the food.”

“Maybe so.”

“What if the candle lit dinner was exclusively dessert?”

She gasped. “Well that would be completely different!”

With their conversation helping to pass the time they eventually made their way off the street and into the restaurant. Inside was a bustling din of noise. The bright array of colours and textures that covered both the walls and the furniture made for an authentic Hannish atmosphere. And then there was the mouth-watering smell. Estinien was glad that they were getting seated next as he was definitely starting to get hungry. It wasn’t long before a server led them to a small table tucked away near the back of the room, positioned under a large graphic mural on the wall and lit by a glass lamp hanging from the ceiling above them. Estinien shrugged out of his coat, draping it over the back of his chair and taking a seat as Ninira did the same.

“Can I grab you drinks to start?” Their server asked, to which Estinien nodded, flipping over his menu to check out the selection of beers as Ninira replied.

“Just water, thank you.”

Estinien furrowed his brow.

“Of course! And for you.”

“I’ll have a Cedarwood,” Estinien replied. “And a cream soda.”

The server’s mouth twitched with the hint of an amused grin at this combination, but nodded before leaving their table. As they did, Estinien levelled his gaze on Ninira. “Thirsty?” She asked, though she was unable to keep the waiver out of her voice.

“I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to order inexpensive things because I’m covering the bill.”

She slumped her shoulders.

“Well too bad, because you’re having a soda. And,” he reached across the table and plucked her menu away from her. “I already know what we’re ordering.”

“But we’ve never been here before!”

It pleased him that she didn’t seem to consider the possibility of him having come without her. “They have a menu online. I’ve done my research.”

Ninira pulled a face but resigned to her defeat. “Fine, you win… again.”

Estinien smirked, “I’m sure you’ll find some way to enact revenge.”

This made her smile. “When you least expect it.”

Their server returned shortly with their drinks, placing the water down in front of Nini and the beer and soda in front of Estinien. Tucking the serving tray under their arm they then asked “are you both ready to order?”

Estinien nodded at this. “We’re going to share,” He explained before beginning to list off items. Papadums and chutney to start, then a chicken tikka, lamb vindaloo, and paneer. An order of rice—of course—as well as a side of naan and raita. With each item he added Ninira’s brows rose further. It was for her own good, not only was she going to have a good meal but hopefully also some leftovers to take home as well. If she got at least one additional meal from tonight’s order Estinien would be happy.

As the server left their table Ninira stared at him wide eyed. “That’s a lot…”

“I’m starving.” Estinien replied, matter-of-fact, as he pushed the cream soda across the table towards her.

Carefully she took the drink in both her hands, the glass too big for her to hold it in just one. She studied the soda, an expression of sad longing on her face. “You really didn’t have to order this for me.”

He sighed, “well you weren’t going to, so someone had to.” He gave her chair a nudge under the table with his foot. “Enjoy it.”

She hesitated briefly before taking a sip, unable to keep the pure bliss off her face as the sweet drink hit her tongue. Estinien masked his own pleased smile by raising his glass to his lips.

“You mentioned practice being cancelled because the others had plans.” Ninira commented, having recovered from the ecstasy that was her drink. “I suppose that’s because it’s Valentione’s Day, huh?”

Estinien shrugged. The thought of their conversation returning to the holiday was less than ideal. After all the more they talked about it the more there was a chance that Ninira might begin to worry that he was implying that this was more than just friends just so happening to hang out on Valentione’s Day. Because, regardless of how he felt, that was all they were. Friends. “I guess that would make sense.” He tried to sound as non committal to the idea as possible. “Hilda’s been out of town since Friday. She and Lucia went to some ski resort in Coerthas, extended weekend.”

“Oh, that sounds really nice!” Estinien had never put Ninira down as a skier before but with the way she lit up at the mention of it… “The perfect opportunity for cozy evenings curled up by the fire with hot cocoa.” She sighed.

Ah, that made much more sense. Of course she would focus on the possibility of hot chocolate over anything else. Though perhaps she had the right idea. The thought of a rustic cabin in the mountains, surrounded by snow, lit and warmed by a roaring fire didn’t sound too bad at all. His stomach fluttered stupidly, helplessly, as the scene he was now forming in his mind came with the very vivid addition of Ninira in his arms. If he kissed her he would taste the cocoa.

“Estinien?”

He came crashing back to reality, the restaurant with its ambient din and smells of Hannish food, and Ninira across the table.

Shit. “Sorry, what was that?” He tried, as smoothly as possible, to take a sip of his drink. Hoping beyond hope that he was not visibly blushing.

“I asked if you knew if the others were busy as well.”

He shrugged, “no idea.” It was true enough. He was sure Ysayle had plans of some kind but also knew she was more likely to run him over with her car than share the details. As for Fray he genuinely did not know, and honestly wasn’t about to ask. His business was his own, and Estinien appreciated the fact that the respect for privacy was mutual. Hilda and Ysayle could do with learning a thing or two in that regard.

“I know you said your next show wasn’t until the end of the month, but that’s not that far away really.” Ninira continued. If she’d been bothered at all by his sudden lapse in attention she didn’t show it. “Will you need to do another make-up practice before then, since you’re missing today?”

She was at the very least doing better than him at keeping up the small talk.

“Maybe, we still have practice next week. If we feel like we need another one before the show I’m sure we can squeeze one in.” Estinien wasn’t worried about it. The band knew what they were doing, were comfortable with the planned setlist, and it was a venue they’d played at before. If he was worried about anything it was… “Speaking of, you’re coming to the show, right?”

She fidgeted with her glass, “I’m… not sure. I mean, I would like to, just…”

Right. Money was tight, and concert tickets sure didn’t fall into essential items.

“I’ll see how things look closer to the date.”

“You know, if you do want to go. Me, or anyone else in the band, can get you in no problem.” She opened her mouth to protest but he continued. “We know you support us. Hell, you sell some of our merch at your place now.” At what could only be the slowest turnover rate ever. He couldn’t imagine that old men that came in to drop off dusty encyclopedias cared much for the local punk scene “We can cover you for a show or two sometimes, you don’t always have to buy a ticket.”

“But I want too.”

“I know, we all know. That’s why it’s no big deal.”

Any further objections from Ninira were put on hold, and ultimately forgotten, by the arrival of their Papadums. Thank the gods. While he’d mostly said it to save face earlier, he really was starving. Still, he nudged the basket towards Ninira allowing her to take the top most Papadum before helping himself.

“So,” he watched amused as Ninira snapped off a piece of the fried lentil chip and ladened it with mango chutney. “What’s the book club reading these days?”

The book club in question was less of an actual organized club and more just whatever novel she and Aymeric had decided to read at any given time. Though recently Lucia had also joined their ranks and, from what Estinien could gather, they had started to all read the same book simultaneously.

Ninira looked at him, shocked, as she worked around her mouthful of food before responding. “You don’t really want to hear about that… Do you?”

He shrugged. “I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t interested.” He popped his own bite of Papadum and chutney into his mouth. Unlike Ninira he had not drowned his in the mango sauce, not that he was opposed to the flavour; it was sweet and contrasted well with the salt of the papadum. He simply knew how much Ninira liked it and wanted her to have as much of it as possible. Swallowing, he continued, “besides, you can spoil things you might not be able to with the others yet. It’s not like I’m going to mind.”

“Well…”

He sat back, listening while Ninira started to describe the novel they were reading. Hesitantly at first, but with more vigour after it became apparent that he was still listening. He did his best to follow the plot she was describing. After all, he wanted to be able to contribute back, to prompt her to describe something further, or explain how something was connected. The more she talked the more he got to listen and watch; because when she did talk about her passions and the things that made her happy she was captivating… radiant. Since walking into her store that evening very few people had existed outside of his bubble of attention that was Ninira, now it was as if the restaurant had ceased to exist around him. His focus belonged to her, and her alone.

Even the arrival of their order did little to distract either of them. The array of food was presented on a large platter, the dishes of curries framing the larger bowl of rice and the basket of naan. Between all the food, their drinks, and their individual plates their little table had become quite cramped.

“So, Aymeric is convinced that the main character is going to end up with the childhood friend, but Lucia is sure she’s ending up with the glamorous famous guy that’s taken notice of her.” Ninira explained as she dished herself out a portion of rice.

“And who do you think she will end up with?” Estinien asked as he tore off a piece of naan, the still warm bread practically flaking apart.

“As much as I’d like to say I support Aymeric’s choice, Lucia has the whole story nailed down. She’s one hundred percent ending up with the famous guy. They’re both about as compelling as wet cardboard, though.”

“Do the others agree with that statement at least?”

“Oh yeah! I don’t think Aymeric’s trying to advocate that the childhood friend guy is actually attractive but he’s at least a little nicer than the other option.” Ninira scooped curry and rice up onto her fork. “The thing is, the main character is also terribly dull and way too drawn to the glamorous lifestyle the other guy offers.” She paused. “I’m sorry. I’ve been talking about this for way too long, you've got to be bored out of your mind.”

He wasn’t. He’d listen to her talk about the stupid love triangle romance novel for hours if she wanted to tell him about it. “It’s fine.” He smiled. “But if you’re not careful, I will eat your naan.”

She gasped and quickly snatched her own piece of bread out of the basket, tearing off a piece and adding it to her mouthful of food with a defiant look.

Estinien chuckled and lifted his own forkful of food about to take a bite–

“Wait, Estinien!”

He paused.

“Is that the vindaloo?”

He glanced at his fork, “yeah.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Ninira hurried to stab her own piece of lamb and pop it into her mouth. Her eyebrows shot up and she looked at him in earnest, lifting a hand to cover her mouth so she could speak around her food. “Estinien it’s hot. Like really hot. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I told you, my tolerance is way better.” Her eyes widened as he continued to lift his fork to his mouth. “I’ll be fine.”

He was not fine.

He had expected to feel the heat slowly build as he took the mouthful of vindaloo. Instead the spice of sauce seemed to erupt as soon as it hit his tongue. It was so potent that it was as if his throat and nose were full of it. He erupted into a fit of coughing, while desperately trying to keep his mouth shut. He could barely breathe, barely see, his eyes were already watering. He should have listened, this shit was hot.

Vaguely he was aware of Ninira loading up some naan with raita and holding it out across the table towards him. He forced his way through the rest of the vindaloo, his mouth screaming in protest, before taking the offered naan and shoving it into his mouth. The relief from the cool yogurt sauce was unparalleled, gods, he even moaned.

“I warned you.” Ninira chided him.

Despite the fact that he was clearly still suffering he tried to counter that he was fine but the spice still had a hold of his throat resulting in a second fit of coughing.

“Here,” Ninira pushed her untouched water towards him. “Drink.”

He chugged the entire glass which made her chuckle. Slowly he started to feel like he was no longer in the grips of hell, though he still had to wipe undignified tears from his eyes with the back of his sleeve. “Fuck,” he wheezed, finally able to speak again.

“What was all that about built up tolerance?” Ninira wasn’t even trying to hide her smirk now that it was clear he was no longer dying.

Estinien scowled in return. “I’m suffering, and you’re laughing.” She raised an eyebrow at this and he continued. “I obviously just got the sauce stuck in my throat, it had nothing to do with how spicy it was.”

“Oh? So you’re going to have more, then?”

“No.”

“That’s too bad!” She made a show of popping more vindaloo into her own mouth. “It’s delicious!”

Vindaloo aside—in Estinien’s case—the rest of the food was delicious. And, despite the fact that between them they had made quite the dent in all the food he had ordered, Estinien was relieved to see that there were still some left over for Ninira to take home.

With the end of their meal came the arrival of their bill and the return of Ninira’s guilt. The price of the dinner didn’t phase him. Estinien had decided—long before his arrival at Ninira’s store—that he didn’t care how much the events of this evening cost. Unfortunately there was no way to translate this to her without making it evident that he’d been planning the possibility of this entire night for a while. Instead he simply went through the process of paying and leaving the restaurant as quick but nonchalant as possible, giving Ninira very few opportunities to fuss.

Now, standing outside on the still snowy sidewalk Estinien exhaled, his breath hanging in the air momentarily before him. Aware that they were now barreling towards the end of their outing he found himself grasping at ideas to extend their time together. He did have a few, it was just a case of executing them…

“The snow’s almost stopped.” He noted. Ninira was preoccupied beside him, adjusting her scarf so it came up near her ears. “Want to take the long way back? We can cut through the park and catch the train from there instead of going back the way we came.”

“Oh!” She looked up at him. “That’s a good idea! I heard they put up a light display there this week. It’s supposed to be really well done.”

So she had heard about that, at least it would give them a reason to take their time.

“Well we can check it out on our way through, then.” He started down the sidewalk, Ninira hurrying to fall into step beside him.

They were a block or so from the park, waiting at a crosswalk, when the coffee shop across the road caught Estinien’s eye. He nudged Ninira lightly, getting her attention before nodding with his head across the road. “Want a drink?”

She followed his gaze, her mouth twisting with uncertainty. “Ummm.”

“To have while we walk through the park.” He added, in case she found the idea of another sit down situation unappealing.

“I shouldn’t… so it’s okay, I don’t need one.” The light changed and they started across the road. “But if you would like one, then by all means.”

Of course, he should have known better. Asking her was pointless. In that case… “Yeah, I think I’m going to grab one.”

“Alright!” She eyed the line visible through the coffee shop window. “I think I’ll wait outside.”

“Okay. I won’t be long.” That suited him fine, after all she couldn’t stop him from buying her a drink if she wasn't there.

Entering the shop any frets he’d had over what exactly to order Ninira left him as soon as he looked at the menu board. Right in the middle was a large display advertising their Sweetheart drink. A special Valentione’s Day exclusive; white hot chocolate, coloured pink for gods only knew what reason, topped with whipped cream, as well as an obscene amount of marshmallows and sprinkles. It had Ninira’s name written all over it (the implication of her being his sweetheart aside).

He tried not to feel foolish while he ordered it—having to ask for one Sweetheart made him extra grateful Ninira had not followed him into the store after all—and tried not to fidget too much while waiting for it to be brought to him. The impact of the drink was lost a little by the fact that it needed to be in a take-out cup, but the barista did put a domed lid on it so that the cream, sprinkles and marshmallows were on display.

His coffee in one hand, hot chocolate in the other, he made his way back out onto the street. Ninira was waiting where he had left her, near the door, pressed up close to the wall so that she was out of the way of the passers by. As he approached her she looked up at him, the faintest hint of uneasy surprise on her face as she quickly took in the two drinks in his hands.

“Thirsty?” She asked, again, the waiver in her voice, again.

He answered by simply holding the hot chocolate out towards her, while taking a sip from his own drink at the same time. When she didn’t take it he added, “that one is yours.”

She started to reach for it but stopped herself. “I can’t pay you back…”

“You don’t have to.” He pushed the drink into her hands. “It’s part of the dinner… dessert.” He added. “It probably has enough sugar in it to kill a man so that basically makes it a dessert.”

Ninira didn’t laugh. She did take the cup but rather than take a sip just gazed forlornly down at it. “I appreciate it but… I would have been okay not having one. You’ve already spent so much on me tonight, I can’t imagine why you would want to spend more.”

To Estinien the answer was simple, obvious. Because I like you. Because I really like you. Because I would buy you anything. Because you deserve it. Because I want to see the way your face lights up when you taste something you enjoy. Because I want you to be happy. Because I want to give you things, anything. Because I like you.

He, of course, said none of those things. “We’re friends, Nini. Do I need a reason besides that?”

She exhaled, her breath shaking as she did so. “No… you’re right. I’m sorry. I promise I am thankful, really! I just… feel like I’ve been a burden, making you pay for all this.”

“You’re not a burden.” He reassured her quietly.

She nodded, “right.” He didn’t miss the way her voice cracked, or how she turned to try and discreetly wipe at her eyes under her glasses. Shit. He was pretty sure making your crush cry on Valentione’s Day was the last thing you were supposed to do.

He started to reach for her but stopped himself. What comfort could he truly offer her?

She let out another long breath, “sorry. I didn’t mean to bring down the mood. Like I said back at my place, it’s been a hard month.”

“I know. I’m also sorry, I didn’t mean to overwhelm you.” He stepped up beside her and she looked up at him. Blessedly her eyes were free of further tears.

“No. No, you haven't.” She sighed, “ I just need to remind myself I am allowed to, you know, get given things by my friends. Like this.” She held up her drink a little and Estinien smiled. “What is it?”

“Ah,” he couldn’t bring him to tell her the name of the drink. “Some kind of hot chocolate. It was their special today, apparently.”

“Oh! Well that explains all the toppings.”

“I have no idea how you can drink that. Just looking at it is enough to make me feel like I’m going to go into a coma.” Estinien admitted as they started down the sidewalk once more.

This did make her laugh, “but it’s so good!” she insisted after taking a sip.

Warmth flooded through his chest, the origin of which had nothing to do with his own drink.

The city park was not far from the coffee shop. It was decent sized, and functioned as a popular gathering place and often hosted events year round. As Ninira has said the trees along the main thoroughfare had been done up with lights. Whether this had been done intentionally for Valentione’s Day or not Estinien didn’t know. It didn’t matter either as it was clearly a popular destination for those celebrating the holiday regardless.

They fell in with the crowd, following the stream of people as they made their way along the path of lights. Ninira was content to look up at them with wonder, Estinien however found his attention drawn by other things. The way the couple in front of them walked with their hands entwined. People with arms around waists, arms linked. He even went as far as to turn his head to watch as another lalafell rode past on their partner’s shoulders. Would Ninira like that? He glanced down at her, she was still looking at the lights, absently sipping her drink as she did so. It would have at least offered her a better view.

Lost in his thoughts the walk through the park ended far quicker than Estinien would have liked. At least Ninira seemed pleased, her mood having lightened considerably as they walked.

“That was really pretty!” She commented as they walked back out onto the city street. “I’m glad we did that. I didn’t think I’d have a chance to come see it before they took it down.”

“Oh?” From his knowledge, and text message history, Ninira spent most of her uneventful evenings in her apartment.

“It’s been too cold!” She made a face.

Perhaps it had been, though he personally didn’t think it was that bad. And as much as he longed to find some way to drag their last remaining moments together even further, Ninira did look cold. Her ears and nose were visibly red and she shook, ever so subtly. “Let's get you home then,” he offered. “Less you freeze here and now, on the night you decided to actually brave the weather.”

A subway ride, a short walk, and Estinein found himself standing in the small alley that led to Ninira’s back door while she flipped through her keys; their evening officially over. At least the light above her door worked now.

Her key clicked in the lock but she turned to look at him before opening the door. “Thank you, Estinien, for everything. I know I was a bit of a downer at times, but I really appreciate everything that you did for me tonight.”

He shrugged, “it’s no problem. If you need anything, ever, just let me know.”

She gave him a weak smile. “I’ll try.”

It was all he could ask for. “Here.” He held out the bag containing the leftover Hannish food that he had been carrying since leaving the restaurant. “You should have this.” He added.

Ninira blinked, “but you bought that, it’s yours. Are you sure you don’t want it?”

“Well, most of it is the Vindaloo. And anything that isn’t has probably been contaminated by it so…”

She laughed. “Okay, maybe it is best I take it then.”

Relief, Estinien hadn’t really wanted to work around another instance of her trying to refuse his generosity. She took the bag from his outstretched hand peeking in as she did so.

“I don’t remember it looking like there was this much left back at the restaurant. This will last me a while… thank you.”

“Again, it’s no problem”

“Well,” she turned a little back towards her door. “Goodnight, then.”

“Night,” He smiled, and tucked his now free hands into his pockets. Or at least, attempted to. One pocket was full, as it had been all night, and before his arrival so many hours ago.

Fucking shit! God damnit!!

He’d forgotten all about the stupid thing! His plan initially had been to leave the box on Ninira’s front counter when she wasn’t looking, after she was finished wrapping up for the night. That way she would have found it the next day and, despite the fact that it would have been painfully obvious he’d been the one to leave it there, he could act none the wiser. So wrapped up in trying to get Ninira to agree to dinner, and then the euphoria of his success he’d neglected to ever take the box out of his pocket.

Now he was faced with a dilemma, he could hold onto it, try and sneak it into her shop on another day. Attempt to do what he had planned to initially, or he could just… give it to her now. A terrifying idea, but he was running out of time to debate the possibilities, Ninira was already opening her door, already starting to step inside.

Just do it you idiot!!

“Hey, Nini, hang on.”

She froze.

“I forgot something.”

Slowly she turned, her eyes wide behind her glasses. “O–oh?”

He stepped closer, Ninira’s eyes widening even further as he did so. He didn’t know why she looked so startled, he was the one who felt like his heart was about to beat out of his chest with how nervous he was. Producing the box from his pocket he thrust it out in her direction. “Here.”

She stared at him and at the box before slowly piecing together that he wanted her to take it. “O–oh! Um…”

“I was at the store earlier and, I don’t know, they gave it to me for free. I guess I spent enough to get it or something. I don’t want it though, so you can have it.” Considering he hadn’t planned on any of this he was pleased with his story. It must have sounded convincing enough because she took the box with no extra prompting. “I uh, meant to give it to you earlier, but like I said… I forgot.”

“T–thank you.”

“Yeah, well,” He tucked his hands properly into his pockets now that he was able. “Goodnight.”

“G–Goodnight!” For some reason, Ninira still looked stunned.

“Talk to you later?”

She nodded, “y–yeah.”

Estinien watched as she turned, fumbling her way inside with her now full hands. She gave him one last glance over her shoulder before the door shut and he was left alone. He scuffed his boot in the snow, watching her door for a moment longer before tuning away to start making his own way home.

—

Ninira leaned back against her door, heart pounding in her chest, trying to catch her breath and still her nerves. The Hannish leftovers settled lightly on the ground beside her as she slowly released the death like grip she had on the bag’s handle. She was such an idiot. She couldn’t believe she’d actually thought he was going to kiss her.

Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!!

Of course he hadn’t! Why would he?

So caught off guard by the entire moment she hadn’t even looked at what it was he’d given her. She did so now, turning the box in her hand so she could read its lid. Chocolates. Not only was it a decently sized box but they looked like they would be good quality too. Estinien had clearly gotten a really good deal to get them for free. Intrigued, she turned the box over, hoping for a list of the types of chocolates on the rear. There was none. There was, however, a patch in the corner, the remnants of a torn off sticker, one that would have contained the barcode… and price. She ran a thumb over the spot. Give-away items were not normally priced…

She straightened, still staring down at the box in her hands. The implications of being gifted chocolates on Valentione’s Day of all days… But she would have sworn that Estinien, of all people, would not have cared or given a damn about the holiday to begin with. Even if he for some reason did like her, surely he would be opposed to doing something so… stereotypically cheesy.

Perhaps it was all just a fluke. The store was just getting rid of old stock and had dumped it in Estinien’s lap as he had said.

Her head swam. This was all too much and she was definitely overthinking it.

Picking up the leftovers she started up the stairs to her apartment. Despite the hot chocolate she had had earlier that evening she longed for a cup of tea. It would help clear her head and warm her up. She supposed she could also indulge in one, or maybe two, of the stupidly confusing chcolates. Regardless of the implication she wasn’t about to let the gift go to waste.

#Bookshop AU #Ninira Nira #Estinien Varlineau #estinien x wol #uhhhhhhhhhh idk #here's a thing I have thought about since you know... february #you know... the month most people normally produce vday content #not july #anyway I have been working at this for a month #which is like the longest I think I have ever devoted to a piece of writing #and a bitch really wrote 7k words??#It's got no descriptions! it's got the same conflict multiple times! it's got a shoddy conclusion!!#but I don't care!!#I must... embrace cringe be free #and boy howdy this is cringe #if you sit through 7k of pining for my ship in my modern au... thanks?? idk why you would but wheezes #anyway gotta go find things to reblog to hide this now...#writing: mine

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42-clocks · 2 years

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✨🤍💠🤍✨

i drew myself as a light elemental for @/8_jmal_8’s monstersona challenge on instagram !

#I’m super happy with this piece !!#art #artists on tumblr #digital art #monstersona #monstersona challenge #light elemental #elemental #further description to be reblogged #pz art #my art

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zurazakis · 9 months

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should i like. name these comics. should it be smth like zaki adventures or something

#gintamaposting #also should i incorporate my gintama oc into them??? it certainly would give me more material #since they have a connection to zaki ... ....... but also like. idk if itd be a good idea. i dunno #also. should i make them more detailed some day HDJKSHGKJ i swear i can draw somewhat ... !! i just think shitty sketch style is fun #its also fast so i can put out stuff fast ish. which is honestly smth i really needed i think?#im very much the type to obsess over every fine detail until i consider it perfect #except due to like. disability & mental illness i rarely have the determination to keep working on the same piece for too long #but i want to have something done! i want to have something done so bad!!#& maybe these little comics can be it for me?#would it be more accessible if i put them all on the same image when it comes to image descriptions rather than separating the pages?#um ill tag this with the #gintama #tag bc i um. i dont have many followers. or any that care about gintama really. .. or any . . . but there are people who reblog the comics #& as such their input would be greatly appreciated!!! on all of this. even if ive said a lot ㅠㅠㅠ

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eudikot · 1 year

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Okay digital artists I gotta know

#Reblog so we can get a good sample size! I'm curious!#All of these except default and somewhat of date (it had a name before the date) are all real files of mine #If people want to see them I'll share the image and what the name means at the end #But only if this gets at least... 5k votes #(I'm a liar I'd do it if only one person asked me to)#Also... the keysmash is not actually a keysmash. Every one ended up being an abbreviation that I would remember after looking at it #My main default is abbreviation #Followed by a combination of short descriptive words and abbreviations #I had to dig deep to find one that had an actual piece name. I never give my works real names #I'd love to see if anyone could guess my abbreviations. I think mobsfycbwywtb is the easiest without context #However I have posted rtrwps already so you'd have to figure out which image that belongs to for the clue #art #artist #digital art #digital artist #polls #tumblr polls

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atomicsuperrobot · 1 year

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Wtf is a fetishist, actually? Like. A person with a fetish don’t suddenly take on a new label; they’re still just Some Guy imo. Unless you’re unhealthily dedicated to it, then I don’t see the need for the identification. Guess it makes it easier to spot Bad Vibes™ on new followers, tho.

#Mun Post #aka somebody followed my KJ blog and had that in their description; which is a giant fucking red flag imo #especially in regards to following a blog dedicated to a piece of children's media; with a main cast that is very obviously minor-coded #checking out their blog and looking at some of the shit they reblogged just rang the alarm bells even louder; just that slightest bit of Off #needless to say I blocked the shit out of them after that #your vibes are rancid; get the fuck away from me

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candysims4 · 10 months

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JUPITER SET | PART 2

I'm so excited to share with you the release of this set! On it, you'll find 12 new items for CAS, including a dress, two tops, one short, two pants, four bracelets, and two flats. I named everything after Jupiter's moons, as the first part of the set. Even though there are only 17 moons out of 95, it's already a big set!

As it's too much text, I'll leave the description of each item plus the creator's notes below the cut.

ALL ITEMS ARE:

TEEN TO ELDER

BASE GAME COMPATIBLE

MADE FOR FEMALE FRAME

DISALLOWED FOR RANDOM

THUMBNAILS (HOSTED IN IMGUR)

PATREON EARLY ACCESS + MERGED OPTIONS

Thanks to all the cc creators that I used in the pic. And thanks to @maxismatchccworld, @simblrcollective, @s4library, @wewantmods, and everybody who reblog this post!

If you’re a cc finds and want to be tagged when I post, please, let me know. You can send me an ask or in DM.

With your help, more people can know about my work! 💖 Love you all, XOXO <3

DESCRIPTION OF EACH ITEM:

EUROPA LONG DRESS

4.324 POLYGONS

95 SWATCH COLORS - 55 plain colors - 40 color combinations

YOU WILL FIND IN FULL BODY/LONG DRESS

DIA TOP

3.890 POLYGONS

98 SWATCH COLORS - 55 plain colors - 43 color combinations

YOU WILL FIND IN TOP/TANK TOP

METIS T-SHIRT

3.660 POLYGONS

150 SWATCH COLORS - 55 plain colors - 53 patterned - 42 prints

YOU WILL FIND IN TOP/T-SHIRT

ANANKE SHORTS

1.100 POLYGONS

44 SWATCH COLORS - All plain colors

YOU WILL FIND IN BOTTOM/SHORTS

HIMALIA JEANS

1.102 POLYGONS

44 SWATCH COLORS - All plain colors

YOU WILL FIND IN BOTTOM/JEANS

CARPO LEGGINGS

1.066 POLYGONS

55 SWATCH COLORS - All plain colors

YOU WILL FIND IN BOTTOM/LEGGINGS OR/AND ACCESSORIES/TIGHTS

KALYKE BRACELET

1.868 POLYGONS

50 SWATCH COLORS - 15 single colors - 35 color combinations

YOU WILL FIND IN ACCESSORIES/WRIST (RIGHT)

KALE BRACELETS

2.246 POLYGONS

65 SWATCH COLORS - 15 single colors - 50 color combinations

YOU WILL FIND IN ACCESSORIES/WRIST (LEFT)

CARME BRACELET

228 POLYGONS

10 SWATCH COLORS - All plain colors

YOU WILL FIND IN ACCESSORIES/WRIST (RIGHT)

SINOPE BRACELETS

912 POLYGONS

48 SWATCH COLORS - All color combinations

YOU WILL FIND IN ACCESSORIES/WRIST (LEFT)

AMALTHEA FLATS

778 POLYGONS

55 SWATCH COLORS - All plain colors

YOU WILL FIND IN SHOES/FLATS

EIRENE FLATS

510 POLYGONS

55 SWATCH COLORS - All plain colors

YOU WILL FIND IN SHOES/FLATS

CREATOR'S NOTES:

This set really is something I'm very proud of. Each piece in this set is special to me, and I can't wait to see how you all style them in your Sims. I'm anxious to add them to as many of my Sims as possible. You will see them in future previews and photos. haha

Now let's talk about the items, starting with the Europa Long Dress and Dia Top, the most challenging pieces to create. Still, I'm so happy with how they turned out. The crochet texture and colors are simply stunning! My idea for them was to make it very casual for summer or hot days, as charming and detailed as possible.

The Metis T-Shirt is the most versatile piece! You can get it in plain colors, patterns, and prints; note that all prints are in Simlish or Sims-Themed. I love them all, not only because I have designed some of them, and they turned out exactly as I wanted! But seriously, this top is perfect for many occasions and outfits. I tried my best to make the swatches diverse to make it possible to use them in various Sims/outfits without repeating or only fitting better in more styles/occasions.

The Himalia Jeans and Ananke Shorts are both so cute!!! I especially love the heart buttons and metal pieces. These bad boys were tricky to draw as they're pixel art, and I'm the worst at it. But luckily, they look adorable at the end. I usually don't do pants/shorts with pockets, and maybe now I'll start to do more often as I really enjoyed these four pockets on both.

The Carpo Leggings are super easy to style! They're perfect for so many different occasions and outfits. I liked them especially in everyday and athletic outfits. Plus, there's a second version of them in the tights category for even more styling options.

The Kale Bracelets and Kalyke Bracelets are inspired by the beaded bracelets from the 2000s. They're simple yet beautiful and come in various color combinations. They can really make any outfit stand out!

The Carme Bracelet is the most elegant piece but also easy to use in casual outfits. Comes in ten metallic colors and a minimalist design, making it a versatile accessory to match any outfit.

The Sinope Bracelets are so practical and versatile! They're perfect for dressing up a casual or athletic outfit or even a pajama outfit. The scrunchie and hair ties combination is convenient and trendy at the same time.

The Amalthea Flats and Eirene Flats are both comfortable and easy to wear. They're perfect for adding a touch of style to any outfit.

Yet, creating this set took a lot of time and effort. I wanted everything to be perfect and had to redraw some components multiple times to achieve it. Plus, I'm used to releasing less content at once. It made me realize I'm not fast enough to do 12 items in one week, but with more practice may be possible in the future. Perhaps if I don't do too many swatches per item could be possible. Metis T-Shirt, for example, has 150 .dds files, and it took a lot of time to do that I could have used to make another shirt or cc. But it's a choice of mine, as I enjoy many options for each item for more variety. I like to always try adding as many as possible. Even not having as many as I wanted, I'm still thrilled with the result and worthed any second I have spent on it, not only in this shirt but the whole set.

I am thinking of doing a poll to see what you guys prefer, more items with fewer swatches or, as it's right now, as many swatches as possible and fewer items.

I'm sorry it took me a little longer to release this new cc. I hope you'll like this set, and it was worth the wait! XOXO

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laurzzz · 29 days

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Evelyn Evelyn

!! Would appreciate. Reblogs, mwah

Description/Explanation under the cut!

Ho boi after like... 9 months I finally got back to this animated piece, remade it, and finished it as planned! I hope y'alls like it. I had this WIP scripted out during the October/Halloween update and to basically sum up my thought process at the time of storyboarding was that, "What if it's actually both Home and Wally who leave their trails in the website? Except, Home is acting as Wally while Wally tries to stop/foil Home's agenda.". This animation is in relation to that theory and how I also wanted to portray the possibility that maybe both of these relevantly self-aware characters fall into the grayer areas and neither of them are fully in control or manipulative over the other :thumbsup:

Portfolio and Socials: https://laurzzz.carrd.co/

Psssttt! Check out my membership!: https://ko-fi.com/laurzzz/tiers

My commissions are also open!: https://kofi.com/laurzzz/commissions

#sound on!#laursanimates #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home wally darling #welcome home home #wally darling #whps wally darling #julie joyful #sally starlet #poppy partridge #barnaby b beagle #howdy pillar #frank frankly #eddie dear #partycoffin

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tightjeansjavi · 2 months

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the feel of coldness only water brings

A/N: so this is the unplanned part two of this Joel drabble I wrote called wildflowers. I just woke up this morning to some lovely reblogs on it, thus inspiring this piece 🥺 oh, and I also thought of @beefrobeefcal and her beefy, fat! Joel fics that are so so good while I was writing this!

~word count: 1.6k~

Summary: you convince Joel to join you for a swim in a lake while on patrol despite his insecurities

Pairing | joel x f!reader

Warnings: implied smut, fluff, angst (so sorry) non specified age gap between Joel and the reader, body insecurities(Joel), self deprecating thoughts, real bodies, natural body changes with age etc, language, teasing, flirting, body appreciation/worship, peepaw!joel, grumpy!joel, sunshine reader, reader has no physical descriptions (outside of wearing a bra and panties) +18 minors dni!

Sweat beads and drips down from the base of his hairline and slowly seeps into the fabric of his shirt, staining the fabric naturally. His steel toed boots stop at the water's edge, soft ripples lapping at the worn leather with a soft audible swish. The lake is crystalline, and beneath the glass surface he sees a million different rocks, all shapes and sizes and textures. The mountain air is crisp, refreshing as he inhales deeply.

The high noon sun blinds his vision momentarily, but he welcomes it. The fabric of his shirt is beginning to grow itchy, scratching at his skin from the beading perspiration. He kicks a stray rock into water, watching as it sinks into the shallow depths.

“Joel.” Your voice carries over the water, your head and shoulders bobbing like a cork in the middle of the glistening lake. “You said it yourself, there’s no infected out here, and the water is so refreshing. Won’t you join me?”

His shoulders tense beneath the fabric of his shirt, his jaw clenches, teeth grinding. He squints, bringing his hand over his forehead to block out the blinding rays, “M’fine here, darlin.’” He chuffs out, “Besides, one of us has to be on alert.” He added, rationalizing his decision.

“Is it because you can’t swim?” It was a safe assumption to make.

He shook his head, kicking another rock with the toe of his boot. “It ain’t that.”

“Okay, so you can swim? Well, then what’s the issue? C’mon, baby. You’re practically sweating right through your shirt.” You said teasingly, hoping to see the corners of his permanent set frown quirk upwards, just for you.

“It’s silly.” He wavered, eyes casting downwards to his boots. “M’just—insecure s’all. Don’t want you to uh—see me like that.” He was never the best with communicating, but he tried with you, and that’s all you could ever really ask for.

“Joel, it’s not silly. If it makes you feel any better, you can keep your clothes on? It doesn’t matter to me because I think you're handsome, and your real body isn’t gonna suddenly make me stop feeling the way I do for you.” You reassured him with a soft smile.

“If I keep my clothes on m’gonna sink like a fuckin’ rock.” He forced out a chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck with a huff. “Y’say that now…” he trailed off, gnawing on the inside of his cheek. “But ‘m littered with scars, baby. Got grays on my chest and—m’barely fittin’ in my jeans these days. Should probably hold off on extra—”

“Joel.” You sighed, “I’m gonna stop you right there. Cause everything you just described to me?” You lifted your hands up from under the water in emphasis, “is a real fucking body. More importantly, it’s your body. You’re a healthy man, Joel. Your jeans ain’t fitting the same because you’re no longer in survival mode. You’re getting to indulge in a way that you weren’t able to in over 20 years. You're strong, but you're also soft in the right places.”

He doesn't believe you, of course. He would argue that it was because he had grown old and lazy like a house cat. You didn’t give him the chance, however.

“I love how soft and squishy your stomach is. You know why?”

He shook his head, feeling a flush creep up his neck and face,

“Because it acts as the perfect pillow for my head when we’re napping, and I love to grab onto your love handles when we’re cuddlin.’ Love to feel the way it presses into me when we hug. Or when you’re takin’ me from behind.”

“You’re just sayin’ that.” He scoffed.

“Am I?” You challenged him as you pulled yourself out of the water, dripping wet in just your flimsy pair of bra and panties.

“Don’t.” He warned you, taking a step to the side when you reached out to touch him. As if he was a frightened animal shying away. “M’jus’ a fat old man, darlin.’ Don’t gotta lie to me, sweetheart. I can accept the truth.” He was on the edge of snapping, nearly baring his teeth.

“Joel.” You said softly, “stop that. I ain’t have a reason to lie to you. Never have, never will.”

“You don’t have to protect my heart, darlin.’ S’okay. I ain’t deservin’ of your kindness. Don’t know why you even waste your time with a man like me—”

You looped your thumbs into the worn belt loops of his jeans and yanked him towards you swiftly despite his faint protests. “Would you shut up, please?”

Loose pebbles crunched beneath his heavy boots when you pulled him towards you and his hands naturally found your waist, big palms splayed across your damp skin. “Don’t you think you deserve yourself a real man? Someone who—isn’t like me?”

“You are a real man, Joel.” You gently remind him and slowly slip your thumbs from the belt loops of his jeans. “You’re beautiful, and I just wish you could see what I see.”

“Beautiful?” He scoffed, nose twitching when he felt your hands slowly slide up the expanse of his covered chest, “that ain’t me, sweetheart.” He rasped, tilting his chin downwards so he could watch your fingers gently toy with the buttons on his shirt.

“It is you, Joel. And one day you’ll wake up and realize it. And when that day comes, you’ll look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are beautiful, and you are loved, and you are deserving of kindness and softness for as long as Mother Nature lets me have you.”

He could feel himself slowly begin to cave from your words, tears pricking in the corner of his eyes, and he would claim that it was just from the blinding sun and the irritating sweat dripping from his brow. “Don’t know what I did to deserve you, darlin.’ Don’t think I’ll ever understand it. You could have your pick of men in Jackson, and you choose me?” He stifled a chuckle, dipping his chin down further so he could kiss the edge of your fingertips.

“You’re worth more than the whole damn bunch, Joel. Stubborn ass of a man, but I wouldn’t want you any other way.”

“Undress me.” He murmured, swallowing the lump rising in his throat, “M’yours.”

You smiled, dragging your thumb against his jaw and slowly tilted his chin upwards so your eyes could meet, “Remember, it’s just you and me out here. Nothin’ but miles and miles of wilderness.”

“Kiss me.” He whispered, tightening his grip around your hips, pulling you in closer.

Your lips brush, testing the waters before you fully kiss him. Tasting the sweat from his brow that had trickled down his lips. Soft, chapped, warm and familiar against your own.

Your fingers worked the buttons of his shirt open, exposing his skin to the warm rays from the sun. You pushed the strained fabric down his shoulders, letting the shirt fall to the pebbles below. You traced his scars with delicate movements, detaching your lips from his so you could follow the path your fingers created. You nipped at the softness of his bicep, pressing open mouthed kisses that trailed down his arm to his hand. You kissed each knuckle, each callous with your eyes staying locked on his.

You squeezed the soft plump flesh of his love handles, imagining yourself using them as an anchor when you would ride his cock in the early morning hours when neither of you could sleep.

You dragged your nose against the swell of his belly, feeling him tense up before melting into your touch like a pad of butter on a hot pan. You inhaled his musky scent, dragging your lips southwards through the dark hair of his happy trail, pressing a kiss there, too.

Your fingers moved in muscle memory as you undid his belt, tugging his too tight jeans over his hips and strong thighs, letting them pool at his ankles.

He watches your every move, brows furrowed together at the sight of you on your knees between his thighs. He hopes to god there is no danger lurking nearby. He wants this memory etched into his brain for the rest of his days.

He breathes out a strained puff of air from between his parted lips when you press the tip of your nose against the underside of his heavy cock, and the drag of your hot tongue through the strained fabric.

A groan bubbles up his throat, spilling over and he presses his hips into your face, the swell of his belly brushing against the crown of your head.

You giggle, nipping lightly at the fabric, feeling his cock twitch and harden. You watch his eyes roll back, words tumbling out in tandem.

“Do. Not. Tease. Me.” He growled and you giggled at his response.

“If you want more…you’re just gonna have to catch me!” You rose from your knees before he could grab ahold of you, stepping back with that glint in your eye.

“Hey! That ain’t fair and you know it!” He huffed, already struggling to unlace his boots so he could pull his jeans off completely. He cursed under his breath when he watched you dive back into the refreshing waters.

“Gonna get you back for this.” He grumbled to himself, fighting the urge to grin at the warmth that he felt flooding in his chest.

You heard a loud splash just as you resurfaced, and two dark brown eyes locked onto you like a target as you playfully swam away.

Your giggles and his deep, raspy laughter filled the hot summer air like a song that you would play on repeat, over and over again.

Banners made by the lovely @saradika-graphics 💕

Follow @tightjeansjaviupdates for fic updates and notifications

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tervaneula · 2 months

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WAHOO it's finally the 11th of March – my birthday! To celebrate, I'm hosting my very first draw this in your style challenge!!! Featuring the NQK Future Fam, of course. I love them so much. 😭

If you want to, you can change the framing, the poses, their clothes and expressions (but not the character designs, eg. turtle markings). All I ask is that the love is there.

//EDIT: The new end date is April 14th!// The competition will run for one month, March 11th – April 11th. You can join the DTIYS even after that (or without following me) but won't be eligible for the prizes.

Just remember to have fun, this isn't about the skill, it's about the heart. I love y'all so much and I'm so happy to have found such an amazing community of fans and writers and artists alike in the Rise fandom <3 Thank you for loving what I do as much as I do.

To participate in the competition, you must:

Be following me

@ me in the description of your piece

Tag your post with tervs33dtiys

More info and prizes under the cut:

If it's been days and I haven't reblogged your post I most likely didn't see it, so please message me the link! Sometimes tunglr likes to withhold notifications.

I will pick two winners myself and two will be left to fate – a randomised name wheel 😎 The prizes are all free digital character commissions and I'll draw any OC or canon character (with existing visual references) in my "better sketch" style.

Terv's pick 1st prize: A free full body commission of one character 2nd prize: A free waist up commission of one character

Lady Luck's pick 1st prize: A free full body commission of one character 2nd prize: A free waist up commission of one character

I was hoping to have prints and stickers as prizes but turns out that shipping outside the EU is pretty much a nightmare so sadly that won't be happening, but I hope the commissions are a good alternative!

There y'all have it!! Hope you have fun!!! <333

My commission sheet for reference:

AND also the full dtiys pic without any text:

The peepaws are boring and are wearing what they always wear when I draw them lmao. Casey is wearing a turtleneck with extra long sleeves (for maximum hands-tucked-in comfort) and a long skirt, complete with black boots! But as I said at the start, feel free to give them something else if you'd like to <3

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avawritesthings · 29 days

Text

intoxicated with you | lh43

✦ word count - 2,247

✦ summary - in which the sacred sleepovers at the lake house turn into something more.

✦ warnings - smut, smoking & inaccurate descriptions of smoking, swearing

✦ ava’s notes - 100 followers. HELLO. thats crazy!!! thank you for the likes, reblogs, and interactions, means a lot, truly! <3

nhl masterlist

SLEEPOVERS AT THE Hughes’ lake house was a sacred tradition.

You and Luke had been friends since diapers; pulling pranks on his brothers, watching movies together, going out on the boat with his family.

So it came as no shock to Luke when you scaled the trellis under his bedroom window and hopped into his room. You heaved out a sigh, locking eyes with the lanky boy lying on the bed. The faint sound of Wicked Games by The Weeknd filled the room from his TV.

“Whatcha doin’?” You asked nonchalantly.

“Was ‘bout to have a smoke. You in?” Luke asked, even though he knew what your answer would be. He reached into his nightstand and pulled out a blunt, along with a lighter.

You shook your head. “No, Luke,” You recited. “You ask me every time, and every time my answer will be the same.” He whined. “Y/N, please? I’ll talk you through it the whole time, I promise.”

“I don’t know, Lukey,” You sighed, uncertainty present in your face.

Luke shot you a look, knowing that if he begged enough you’d give in. He held his hand to you, face up, and you grabbed his hand without hesitation. Luke tugged you onto his bed and you squealed, earning a shhh from Luke, knowing everyone else in the house was sleeping.

Sure, the two of you had shared a bed numerous times, and it was no different this time. …Right?

As you sat up on the headboard, Luke re-claimed the blunt. You eyed the rolled up piece of paper in Luke’s long, slender fingers. He flicked the lighter until it stuck, and lit the blunt. He took a deep hit, then exhaled, filling the room with the distinct smell of weed.

He offered it to you, a calm and reassuring look on his face. He’s here to help.

You gingerly took the blunt from his fingers and held it in your hands, inspecting it up close. You heard a chuckle and looked up, seeing a crooked smile appear on Luke’s face. Rolling your eyes, you spoke, “So, you gonna show me how to smoke this or what?”

He rolled his eyes at your teasing and shuffled closer to you. “Alright. Take it slow, okay? Start low and go slow.”

You nodded, fake confidence dancing across your face. Luke gestured his hands towards you, silently asking for you to take a hit. You brought the blunt to your lips, taking a slow hit then exhaling. A cough escaped your lips and he brought his hand to rub your back. “‘S okay, you did so good, Y/N.”

You managed to stop coughing and you were suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that his hand was still on your back, his thumb moving in soft circles.

“You okay?” Luke softly asked. You shook your head in an agreeing manner, your throat suddenly dry.

“D’you have some water?”

“Oh! Yeah, yeah. Here,” He grabbed the half empty water bottle from his nightstand and gave it to you. Smiling in thanks, you greedily drank the liquid. You capped the bottle and looked over to Luke, his eyes already on you.

He took the blunt from your hands and took another hit, a slight red hue to his eyes. After a few minutes of talking back and forth, you gestured to the blunt resting between his fingers. He smirked and handed it to you. “Do you need any help?”

“No,” You replied, taking a slightly longer hit from the blunt and exhaling. A woozy smile formed on your face and a calmness took over. You looked over at Luke to see his eyes already on you. As his deep brown eyes drank you in, your heart fluttered and surged as the sight.

The way his eyes darkened after making eye contact should have been illegal. The way his lips parted with heavy breaths. The way Luke-

Your inner thoughts stopped when you saw his eyes dip to your lips. You subconsciously licked your bottom lip and his hand darted out to rest against your thigh.

In a split second, Luke’s lips were on yours.

A quiet gasp left your mouth and his tongue took the opportunity to explore. Before you could bring your hand up to cup his face, he suddenly pulled back, his eyes darting between yours.

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking! I-”

You smiled at his rambling and grabbed his face, smashing your lips against his once again.

Luke’s arms snaked around your waist, and he moved his body so that you were laying on the bed, Luke hovering over you.

His mouth trailed from yours and down to your neck, sucking on the newly found sweet spot. “No hickies, please, Lukey.”

You felt his smirk against your skin. “No promises, baby.”

Baby.

The new nickname echoed in your head while his mouth trailed from your neck to your chest, a soft moan escaping your lips. Luke tugged on the hem of your shirt and you sat up, raising your arms so he could undress you.

Luke’s eyes immediately locked onto your breasts, and his hands reached to knead them. His hands on your body had you clenching your thighs together, the feeling more sensitive than ever. Your hands clutched the back of his head, your fingers running through his unruly curls. He brought his lips back to yours while fumbling with your sweatpants.

You lifted your hips just enough so he could slide them down your legs, and he unattached his lips from yours to take his shirt off.

You had seen his abs plenty of times before, out on the boat or swimming, but not in this type of setting. As your eyes appreciatively raked down the ridges of his toned abdomen, he ran a hand up and down your thigh.

You locked eyes with Luke again and you could have sworn a low groan came from his mouth. His breathing was erratic and he was feverishly biting his bottom lip. His hand, the one on your thigh, skimmed along your stomach, leaving goosebumps everywhere his hands were.

The look in his eyes made your stomach flip. He looked so desperate…so needy.

“Can I touch you?”

The simple question snapped you out of your haze, and you stumbled on your words. “Yeah,” You coughed out. “Yes, of course.”

His fingers hooked on the waistband of your panties, and you yet again lifted your hips to help him. The way Luke was looking at you had you shivering under his dark gaze.

His eyes locked onto your wet cunt, and he couldn’t help but run his two fingers up your pussy. Your hand shot to your mouth, muffling a squeak that left your mouth.

“Fuck me,” Luke whispered out, entranced with you and the way your body was reacting to his touch.

Luke shimmied down until his mouth was inches away from your already dripping pussy, his warm breath hitting your sensitive area. He hiked your legs on top of his shoulders.

“Please, Luke. Do something,” You groaned out.

As your fingers found his curls, his mouth met your core. Your thighs immediately began to quiver on his shoulders. He expertly moved his tongue in motions that had you seeing stars, and quickly.

You babbled incoherently as he lapped up your essence. He retracted his mouth from you, and you whined out. Luke quickly entered two fingers into you and you sighed in pleasure. His thumb expertly found your clit and you felt yourself approaching your climax already.

You pulled on his curls hurriedly, your orgasm on the cusp of release. He added his mouth to your heat and it sent you over the edge. You arched your back and bit into your hand to try and silence your moans.

Luke’s fingers left your now dripping cunt and he kissed your shaking inner thighs, working you down from your climax.

“Holy-“

“Yeah,” He breathed out. He brought his fingers to his face, wiping your juices onto his fingers and bringing them to your parted lips. You opened your mouth and greedily sucked on the slender digits.

His eyes locked onto your puckered lips. The sensation of your mouth on his fingers was euphoric to him.

Luke leaned over to reach the half-smoked blunt and brought it to your lips. You inhaled the drug and exhaled, a blissful smile on your face. The mind-blowing orgasm coupled with the blunt had your head spinning, in a good way.

He then brought the blunt to his lips and took a hit. The fog in the room only intensified. Luke had a hazy look on his face, the smirk on his face rhapsodic.

You sat up on your elbows and spoke, “Sit up on the headboard? Wanna ride you.”

Luke’s eyes widened at your words, momentarily speechless at your order. He nodded nonetheless and perched himself against the headboard. “Yeah,” He cleared his throat. “Yeah.”

You shifted from laying on the bed to your legs on each side of his, your slit slightly catching on his sweatpants everytime you moved. Your foreheads touched and your breaths blended together.

You reached under yourself and dipped your hand under the waistband and palmed his erect cock through the thin fabric of his boxers. He let out an embarrassing groan at the feeling.

As your hand worked itself over his dick, your lips met, teeth clashing and he sucked on your bottom lip. His hands reached to tweak your nipples and you moaned into each other's mouths.

When he had enough, he shoved his pants and boxers down as far down as he could, kicking off the rest. His hard cock sprung to his lower stomach and your eyes locked onto it for the first time.

“Is it gonna fit?” You embarrassingly asked.

Luke covered up his smirk with reassurance. “It’s okay, Y/N. Promise. We’ll make it fit, ‘kay?”

The question held heavy in the air and you nodded. You brought your hand to your mouth and spit, rubbing the saliva on his cock as lube. Luke shuddered and you lifted yourself off of his thighs to line up his dick with your wet entrance.

You slowly sank down on his dick, inch by inch. Luke’s hands met your waist, guiding you down his cock. Once your thighs met his, you both let out sighs of pleasure and satisfaction.

You started moving your hips against his, with help from his large hands. Leaning forward, you nibbled on his ear and neck, earning groans from the man underneath you. His hands lowered themselves to fondle your ass, squeezing the flesh.

“Fuck, just like that , baby. You’re doin’ so well.”

You pressed your lips together to prevent any moans from escaping while hiding your face in his neck. Luke kissed your shoulder and lifted you so you were hovering over him. He planted his feet on the end of his bed and thrusted into you, causing you to cry out. He set a steady yet deep pace.

He moved one of his hands to cover your mouth, and you did the same, adding to the intimacy in the room. With your eyes shut tight and fingers digging into his shoulders, you could feel your second orgasm approach just as fast as the first.

His other hand reached in between your thighs to rub your overly sensitive clit. You felt your breath hitch and your heart sped up, the heat pooling in your lower back spreading throughout your whole body.

You knew he was getting close to orgasm, his thrusts started to become slightly erratic and uneven. His hand left your mouth to run and hand up and down your back.

Reaching behind your body, your fingers found his balls and massaged them. Luke tilted his head back as far as he could and his eyes rolled to the back of his head, almost too overstimulated.

“Atta girl,” He managed to choke out. “Jesus Christ, keep doing that.”

His words only spurred you on, your walls fluttering around his cock as your climax washed over you in waves. The drugs heightening your senses, making your orgasm three times more intense. Your body sagged over top of him, too tired to hold yourself up.

Luke followed not long after, his hands gripping your waist hard enough to leave bruises as he spilled himself into you.

The room fell silent, aside from your heavy pants and his sighs of relief.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to fuck you,” Luke whispered out.

You nodded against his chest, pressing kisses to his chest here and there.

“I’ve liked you for a while now,” You admit to Luke, your eyes slightly red. Raising your head to meet his eyes, you could see the love he held for you.

“I have too, sweetheart,” He hummed. You hurriedly pressed your lips to his, hoping to convey the love you held for him in one, passionate kiss.

Breaking away from the kiss left him chasing after you. You slowly got off of him, his dick leaving you. You sat beside him and plucked the blunt off of the nightstand yet again. Luke took it from you and took his final hit of the night, you doing the same before crushing it up and throwing it out. Your fingers reached out to intertwine with his and you smiled at each other.

“I’m intoxicated with you, Luke Hughes.”

(like/reblog/comment/follow, if you want! if ur a little ghost reader, i appreciate u xo)

#luke hughes x reader #luke hughes #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #x reader #hockey #fic #new jersey devils #nhl #luke hughes imagine #nhl fanfiction #hockey smut #nhl fic #my writing!#smut

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honeyedmiller · 6 months

Text

Checkmate | Joel Miller

pairing: dbf!joel x f!reader

warnings: dbf!joel, age gap (reader is late 20’s, joel mid 40’s), reader is depicted as shorter than joel but otherwise has no other physical description (picture in mood board is for aesthetic purposes only), mutual pining, making out, smut (thigh riding, brief mentions of f oral receiving, unprotected [bc] piv, slight cockwarming, riding), reader’s best friend’s name is hailey, no use of y/n. 18+, minors dni.

huge thank you to my baby @party-hearses for beta reading this for me. i love you to a million pieces 🖤

a/n: also this is my 900 follower celebration?! i still can’t wrap my head around the fact that so many people follow me and enjoy what i reblog / write. i love u all so, so much. i also feel kinda bad bc i hyped this one shot up a lot only for the smut to not be that descriptive, but this is more about joel and reader’s feelings than what they essentially do with each other. hope y’all still enjoy it :’)

word count: 4.6k

synopsis: you and your dad’s best friend play a dangerous game, and one of you ends up losing faster than you both anticipated.

dividers by the lovely @saradika

You wiped your sweaty brow on your forearm as you lugged a fifth box into your new apartment. You’d finally saved up enough to move out of your parent’s place. Your master’s degree had paid off after all, landing you a job in the heart of Austin, Texas. You were only a thirty minute drive from your parent’s house, which your mom totally loved. She couldn’t wait to help you decorate your place and hand you down the pots and pans that’d been in the family for quite some time.

The move wasn’t necessarily a tough one, because you were ready to get out of your parents’ hair. You all got along well, but you were dying for your own privacy and space that you could call your own. You couldn’t be happier now that you had it.

In the midst of the move, your dad insisted he’d phone his best buddy, Joel. You’d only heard about him a handful of times while you were away at college, and in the months you’d been back with your parents, your dad always went over to his house to watch sports or hang out. When the whole family was invited over to his house for barbecues, you always found yourself either already having other plans with your friends, or you were working. Today was finally the day you’d meet the mystery man that is Joel Miller.

And that’s when you saw him. Tall, broad, ruggedly handsome, body clad in an army green shirt that showcased his biceps and veiny forearms, dark jeans that showed off the muscle of his thick thighs, and scuffed up boots from plenty of days, weeks, hell–months of hard work that added an inch or two to his already towering height.

He must’ve been in his forties if you had to guess. His dark brown hair was dusted with slight specs of gray, the scruff on his jawline mirroring the hair on his head. His nose was strong, and was perfectly fitted with his face. He had dark brown eyes that were kind yet held some kind of sternness—a look that made your panties easily dampen. His mustache framed his lips that were pursed into a slight frown, and you couldn’t help but wonder what they’d feel like all over your body.

He looked at you just the same, all but hungry eyes roaming your body as he caught a glimpse of you for the first time. Like a damn deer caught in headlights.

He was your dad’s best friend?

Oh, you were truly, utterly, royally fucked.

You introduced yourself to him and he shook your hand, the calloused pads of his fingers meeting your soft skin sending a string of butterflies through your stomach.

You genuinely don’t think you’d ever been this attracted to someone at first glance.

After he and your dad helped you move all of your stuff into your new place, you’d concluded two things: one, Joel Miller was a man of very few words–at least, around you that is, and two: you were sure he was attracted to you just as you were to him.

Was it so wrong to want someone a little bit older? Perhaps not. What was wrong was that he’s your dad’s best friend. You shouldn’t want someone like that. Someone you were absolutely sure could handle you in the best way possible.

About a month after you’d finally gotten settled into your apartment, you invited your best friend Hailey over a movie night and a glass of wine. You told her about your predicament, to which she couldn’t help but be the little devil on your shoulder and encourage you to go after Joel.

“Look, I know he’s your dad’s best friend n’ all, but what he doesn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, right?” She questions, legs tucked underneath her body as her lips curl into a sly grin before she takes another sip of her wine.

“I mean yeah, but I’ve never done something like this before. An older man, who’s closely acquainted with my dad? I oughta be out of my damn mind.” You sigh, rubbing your temple.

“Live a little, babe. You’ve been a good kid to your parents your whole life. It’s time you do something for you for once and go after it. Make a subtle move on him next time. That might spice things up a bit.” She suggests, pursing her lips.

“You’re right. But if I make a move and it backfires, I’m completely fucked and I’m moving to the other side of the country.” You laugh exasperatingly.

She reaches over to pat your thigh softly. “Only one way to find out.”

You hadn’t seen Joel as of late, but you weren’t phased by it. It’d been a really busy couple of weeks at work, and you were joining your coworkers tonight for a celebratory t.g.i.f. drink.

Hailey was over at your apartment getting ready with you and you both were already two shots of tequila in. You weren’t much of a drinker, but truth be told, you needed this night out.

“So I’m either between this dress or this one.” You explain to Hailey, and she studies the options you held up for her to thoroughly inspect. It was either between a black satin mini dress with sparkly straps, or a strapless maroon bodycon dress

“This one,” She points at the black dress. “With your red kitten heels.”

You toss the maroon dress onto your bed and take the black one off of the hanger, changing into the dress after Hailey goes to pour herself another shot. You slip aforementioned heels on and give yourself a once over in your full body closet mirror, satisfied with your appearance.

You wanted to look and feel hot tonight, and it was safe to say you achieved just that. Maybe you’d pick up some hot guy at the bar tonight. He may not be no Mr. Miller, but anyone to take the tension of the past couple of weeks away would suffice.

You were applying one last layer of lipgloss when Hailey’s knuckles rapped on your door twice, head peeking into your bedroom.

“Uber’s here. Let’s go get fucked up.”

You laugh at her enthusiasm, hot on her trail as you locked up and headed down to your Uber.

The ride was only fifteen minutes before you pulled up to the bar that was already packed. You both slipped inside, spotting your coworkers at a table. They were laughing about something when you and Hailey walked up, and they all cheerily greeted you with hugs.

It wasn’t long before the DJ was playing some line dancing songs, and multiple people made their way to the dance floor to move their bodies. You and Hailey were the only ones left at the table as you laughed at your coworkers trying to keep up with the beat of the song.

“Mr. Hottie over there has been checking you out for some time now.” Hailey leaned into you, nudging your side with her elbow as she jutted her head toward a man at the bar.

You felt your body drained of warmth as you saw none other than Joel Miller standing at the end of the bar, sipping on his beer tentatively. His eyes were locked on you, and the stupid butterflies rumbled around in your stomach once more.

“Hailey, that’s him.” You say, swallowing thickly.

“Who?” She gives you a questioning look, the drinks she’s had tonight making her mind a bit fuzzy.

“My dad’s best friend. That’s Joel.” You say, and her eyes nearly bug out of her head.

“Oh, girl, if you don’t make your move I’ll force you to make one. He’s a fucking hunk.”

Your eyes trailed back over to him, taking in his appearance. He switched out the green t-shirt for a gray one, dark wash jeans, and the same boots he wore when he showed up to help you move into your place.

The way he was looking at you made you want to do extremely sinful things with him. Fuck. Now or never.

“I’ll be back.” You tell Hailey, and her expression brightens up and cheers you on as you slip off of your seat.

You saunter over to Joel, drink in hand, and you sip on it through the straw as you approach him. He looks down at you amused, eyes nearly black as he scans you from head to toe.

“You stalking me now, Mr. Miller?” You tease, leaning up against the bar top.

Joel scoffs a laugh and sips on his beer once more. “Y’think I don’t have something better to do with my time than to see where you are on a Friday night?” He retorts, but it wasn’t mean. You were sober enough to hear the hint of playfulness in his tone.

“Mm, not really.” You shrug, feigning an innocent smile up at him.

So you could be a brat. He bet he could fix that attitude in no time.

He chuckled at his own thoughts, finishing off his beer as he set the empty bottle down on the sticky bar top.

“You caught me, darlin’. Any woman as ravishing as you is worth stalkin’.” The slight curl of his lip made you smile. You sipped on your drink some more as you watched the patrons of the bar dancing to the current song. Your eyes avert back up to his gaze, and you step closer to him.

His eyes move down to your glossy lips wrapped around the straw, wishing so badly that your lips were wrapped around something else right at that moment.

“What brings you here tonight, Mr. Miller?” You ask, reaching a hand out to touch his bicep. His body goes rigid at your touch, and you fear you’ve gone too far so your hand immediately drops. Joel does a quick scan of the bar before wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his sturdy body.

“My brother’s best friend’s birthday.” He shrugs, and you nod. You felt like a fucking hummingbird with how fast your heart was beating, and you were sure Joel could feel it with the close proximity between the two of you.

The air became thick and heavy. Your breathing accelerated, looking up at Joel and into his lust-clouded eyes. His grip on your waist tightened in the slightest, and you nearly whimpered as you felt his bulge through the denim fabric of his jeans.

“Joel.” Your voice was merely a whisper, and he smirked down at you.

“Care to line dance, darlin’?” He asked nonchalantly. Your eyebrows furrowed as disappointment shot through you. Were you reading the situation wrong?

“I don’t really know how.” You say, setting your now watered-down drink on the counter.

“I’ll teach you.” He shrugs, grabbing your hand and dragging you onto the dance floor. He showed you step by step how to move, but your mind was so hazy with lust that you could barely even focus.

It’d been months since someone touched you in an intimate way, and the burning need and desire was aflame through your body. All you could think about was Joel’s hands and tongue on you as you moaned his name. The thought nearly made you pout.

“You even listenin’ to me?” Joel pulls you out of your daydream, and you look up at him with half lidded eyes. He was teasing and holding out on you and he knew it.

His face held pure amusement as he watched you squirm under his stare uncontrollably, fidgeting like a little kid on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa to stop by.

“I’m gonna go get another drink.” You sigh, walking back to the table Hailey was waiting at.

“What happened?” She asks, looking behind you at Joel who was burning a hole in the back of your body.

“No idea. Guess I’m not getting lucky after all.” You shrug with a disappointed huff of a laugh. You looked back to see if Joel was still there, but he seemed to have disappeared.

You grabbed your purse and made your way to the bar, leaning over it. The back of your dress rode your thighs significantly, barely covering your ass at this point. Before you could get the bartender’s attention again, you felt a hand on your shoulder pull you back and press you into their body. You were about to mouth off on this person before you realized it was Joel.

“Fuck, c’mon.” His hand slid down to your wrist, gently tugging it. You looked at Hailey as you started to follow Joel and pointed at him discreetly, and she gave you a thumbs up.

Joel led you out into the cool air of the night, immediately chilling your whole body. Goosebumps raised onto your skin as he led you to his truck, your heels clicking against the unevenly paved asphalt.

“What are you doing, Joel?” You ask as you stop in front of a dark truck.

“I’m about to give us what we both want.” He said before trapping your body against his truck and between both of his strong arms that landed on either side of you. You cocked an eyebrow up at him, eyes and lips glossy underneath the dim parking lot lights.

“Can’t believe I’m fuckin’ doin’ this.” Joel murmurs before leaning down, smashing his lips with yours. You moan softly into the kiss, carding your fingers into his longer locks. You give the ends a slight tug and he moans into your mouth. You feel the arousal pool in your panties and your untouched core starts to throb. You whine into the kiss, and Joel takes that as an opportunity for his tongue to invade your mouth.

He tastes like mint now, probably having popped an altoid in his mouth before coming back to get you from the bar. His hands travel downwards and find purchase on your thighs underneath the dress, rubbing circles into your soft skin. He starts to rut his hips into yours, the bulge in his jeans catching onto your clothed clit deliciously.

“Joel, please.” You choke out as his lips disconnect from yours, hot kisses traveling down your neck and onto your collarbone.

“Please what, baby?” He asks, voice raspy and muffled as he breathes against your neck.

“Need you. Fuck, please, just touch me.” You don’t care how desperate you sound to him at this moment. His touch left a trail of flames everywhere his hands landed, and you couldn’t get enough.

Joel wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you away from the back door of his truck, opening it and helping you slide in. He got in right after you, closing and locking the doors. Your chest was rapidly heaving up and down, trying to catch your breath from the intense moment.

Joel didn’t give you much leeway, though, because as soon as he spread his legs to get comfy in the backseat, he was pulling you on top of him. You closed the gap between you two this time, rutting your hips forward so your heat sat right on top of his bulging crotch. He groaned lowly, looking down to where your dress had ridden up. He saw your pink lace panties that you had on, and god were you grateful you chose to wear those tonight.

Joel hummed in appreciation as he slid his calloused hands up the smooth skin of your thighs, looking back up to meet your gaze. Your lipgloss was nearly gone off of your lips and onto Joel’s, and he had to admit he liked the sticky cherry flavor.

“Your daddy would kill me with his bare hands right now if he saw what I was doin’ with his darlin’ daughter.” Joel chuckles, shaking his head.

“That’s why he won’t find out,” You shrug. “Besides, I’m a grown woman. I can make my own decisions and decide what I want… and what I want is you, Mr. Miller.”

Joel raises an eyebrow and huffs a small laugh. “That right?” He questions, grip getting slightly tighter on the soft flesh of your thighs.

“Mhm.” You nod, hand cradling the back of his head.

“What we’re doin’—this is bad.” Joel chastised, mostly to himself.

“Relax, Joel. I won’t tell if you won’t.” You twirl the hair at the nape of his neck through your fingers, applying more pressure onto his groin. He grunts in response, adjusting himself slightly as the confinement of his jeans was nearly torturous at this point.

“Fine. But we’re endin’ this whole hookin’ up thing if anyone gets even the slightest bit suspicious.” He negotiates, and you nod.

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Miller.”

Joel chuckles and shakes his head, leaning up to capture your lips into his once again. You hum against him, hands moving down to his chest as your nails scratch over the thin fabric of his shirt.

You start to grind yourself onto him again, and he groans once more before separating his lips from yours to mumble against them. “Use my thigh, baby.” He shifts you onto his left thigh, and you steady yourself on him by gripping his shoulders.

“I don’t wanna ruin your pants.” You sigh, the pressure of your clothed clit on his thick thigh already providing the tiniest bit of relief.

“I don’t give a shit about my pants, baby. Soak ‘em for all I care.” He presses his lips to your neck once more, and you shiver at the contact. You’re shy at first, not ever having gotten yourself off on someone’s thigh before.

Joel senses your hesitation, so he moves his hands back up to your hips and shifts them forward, causing your soaked cunt to glide along his jean-clad thigh.

You take over yourself, rocking your hips back and forth at a languid pace. Desperate moans are falling out of your mouth as you fist his shirt into your hands, feeling yourself so close already.

“Joel, feels so-so fucking good.” You whine, head dropping back. Your jaw goes slack and eyebrows thread together, picking the pace of your hips up.

“Yeah? Such a good fuckin’ girl, takin’ what she needs to get off.”

“I need you, Joel, please.”

Joel moved his hands to fumble with his belt buckle and jeans button to take his jeans off in the slightest, finally relieving his erection. You moaned at the sight of his thick cock, pre cum gathered at the tip. You brought your thumb to his slit, gathering the pre cum onto your finger before bringing it up to your mouth to gently suck on it.

Joel’s jaw ticked, resisting the urge to bend you over the back of his seat and fuck you senseless then and there. Luckily, he had a lot more restraint than he thought, because all he did was just stare at you sucking seductively on your thumb.

You shifted yourself so you were straddling both of his thighs now, and you grabbed his cock into your hand to give it a few slow tugs. Joel sucked in a breath at your touch, head being thrown back onto the headrest of the seat. You tugged your panties to the side before you ran the tip of his weeping cock through your slick folds, a lewd wetness sounding throughout the cab of the truck.

You moaned as Joel hissed at the contact. It’d been awhile since Joel had been with someone, so he prayed to whatever god was out there that he’d be able to last.

“C’mon baby, don’t be a fuckin’ tease.” Joel grunts, fingertips digging into your hips. You look down at him with half lidded eyes as you sank down onto his length without much resistance.

The stretch was fucking heavenly. Your lips parted as you puffed out a pant and sucked in a breath shortly after, reaching the hilt.

“So fucking big. Fuck.” You mewl, fingers digging into his shoulders for balance once more.

“Stay still for a little.” Joel’s voice was strained, sounding nearly pained as he choked out his words. You felt so good wrapped around him that he just wanted to appreciate your warmth.

Joel slid the sparkly straps of your dress down your shoulders, tugging down the neckline of your dress to reveal your breasts. His tongue darted out of his mouth to briefly wet his lips, large hands moving up to gently squeeze the soft flesh of your chest.

“So fuckin’ perfect.” Joel whispers, moving his head down to envelope one erect nipple into his mouth while his thumb and index finger toyed with the other. You moved one hand up his chest and to the back of his hair, threading your fingers through the thick locks once more as you pushed his face deeper into your pillowy flesh.

The feeling of his expert tongue and heavy cock in you was beginning to be too much. You needed him to move, or at least let you move. You weren’t above absolutely begging him until he gave in, but he seemed to have the same idea as his hips thrusted into you.

You took that as an initiative to move, so you began to slowly glide yourself up and down on him. You sucked in a sharp breath as the feeling of him repeatedly filling you made your legs shake. He took his mouth off of your swollen flesh to avert his gaze to yours, eyes locking as you moved up and down. He moved a hand down to generously rub at your aching clit, causing your cunt to deliciously clench around him.

“Gonna ruin this tight little pussy. Just you wait.” His voice is throaty and deep, sending shivers down your spine. The dangerous glint in his eye let you know that he was dead serious.

You wanted Joel Miller to ruin every other man for you.

That’s how this, the dangerous thing—the game—started.

You both were determined to win at something that wasn’t even tangible; something so lucrative to both of you that the consequences wouldn’t even fucking matter.

It didn’t matter as he took over and fucked his hips up into you at a brutal pace, causing you to orgasm violently on his cock within minutes. It didn’t matter when the windows of his truck fogged up and the drag of your fingertips adorned the glass. It didn’t matter when you reassured him he could cum in you because you were on birth control.

As months went on after that night at the bar, him fucking you up against the wall of his shower or pounding you into your bed or eating your pussy until you physically could not breathe anymore was all that dazed your mind.

Fuck the consequences.

None of it fucking mattered.

Because, over the months, Joel Miller was the kind of man you didn’t mind having in your bed after you two’ve fucked. You didn’t mind when he slept over, or when he wanted to be the little spoon, or when you both went out on dates like a normal couple would.

The euphoria of it all didn’t last forever, though. You knew it wouldn’t, but the heavy weight and reality of it all came crashing down on you one day when Joel was buried deep into your warm cunt, both of you teetering on the edge of a climax, when your dad came knocking on your front door. Pure panic seized your body and you had to make Joel hide in your closet like a fucking teenager.

That’s when you realized you both were way in over your head with this whole thing. Getting caught was going to be inevitable if it kept up like this.

You were eternally grateful that your dad was a man who didn’t hover. He left your apartment after fifteen minutes and when Joel came out from hiding, you told him that it was way too close and it was too risky to keep doing what you both wanted to never put a stop to. You’d silently promised yourself that was the last time with him.

Joel tried to argue against it, but you put your foot down. That is, until you got slightly buzzed one night and begged Joel to come fuck you. Truthfully, you didn’t even really need the sex from him. It was just a plus. You just enjoyed being around him so much that having him in some way, even if only physically, was to suffice.

Little did you know, he felt ten times stronger than what you felt. Joel Miller would worship the ground you walked on, if you allowed him to do so.

He was at your doorstep in no time, pushing you against the wall and kissing you with such neediness as if you’d disappear right beneath his fingertips. You were wearing one of his oversized t-shirts and a pair of panties to which Joel discarded immediately. His thick fingers rubbed against your slick heat, hips bucking to meet the languid pace he set.

Joel shouldn’t be here.

You promised yourself the last time would be the fucking last.

And yet, you found yourself willingly shoved up against the wall of your living room by none other than the man you swore you’d stay away from as he leaves hot, fervent kisses along the slope of your neck.

“Joel, we—fuck, we shouldn’t be doing this. We have to stop.”

“Yeah? Not what you were sayin’ when you were practically beggin’ me to fuck you again over the phone.” He grits. He sinks his fingers into your aching cunt, prying a strangled moan from your throat.

He’s frustrated with himself.

Frustrated that he so easily succumbed to you, allowing himself to wrap himself in the greedy need and carnal desire he had for you. Frustrated that you were twenty years younger than him, and frustrated that you should’ve been off limits.

You were supposed to be off limits, god damnit, but Joel Miller was a greedy fucking man. He just had to have you in a way that nobody else could.

He really didn’t blame your father if he strangled the man with his own bare hands if he ever found out what you two did behind his back, in secret, and for months at that.

Joel knew better.

He fucking knew better and still decided to get a taste, get a feel, fuck you like no other man had. Something his greed deliciously sunk its teeth into, allowing himself to indulge in the forbidden realm you offered to give him.

You knew better, too. But you did get one thing you wanted, after all.

You’d be a fucking liar if you didn’t admit that Joel Miller had officially ruined every other man for you.

The dangers of the game had sunk its teeth so deep into both of you. It was like the world’s most impossible chess match, and one of you was finally waiting for the other to say “checkmate.”

The thing is, Joel lost a long while ago.

He fucking lost the game.

He couldn’t stay away from you no matter how hard he tried, and when you called him begging him to fuck you tonight, his need for you practically drowned him in his weakness.

Joel Miller was not a weak man. You had him under a fucking spell that he couldn’t seem to reverse.

It’s like you were his fucking kryptonite.

He was the one that royally fucked in the end.

Joel wished he didn’t have these feelings that clawed at his fucking rib cage every time he glanced at you, some sort of animalistic creature trying to escape when you were under him, legs spread wide, your warmth wrapped around his cock as he buried himself in you.

Every single time he had you like that, had his lips on you, had you moaning his name like a prayer on Sunday mornings, saw your sweet smile, smelled your perfume that he loved so much, heard your contagious laugh, he knew he lost.

Checkmate.

tags: @nostalxgic ; @ilovepedro ; @bastardmandennis ; @tinygarbage ; @amanitacowboy ; @holesandlividity ; @planet-marz1 ; @joelmillers-whore ; @cool-iguana ; @janaispunk ; @freakygothgirl ; @survivingandenduring ; @clawdee ; @danaispunk ; @kiwisbell ; @untamedheart81

#joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller imagines #joel miller one shot #joel miller imagine #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #dbf! joel smut #dbf!joel miller #dbf!joel #pedro pascal imagines #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal one shot

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abbyromanoff · 10 months

Text

YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE

PAIRINGS: GF!Natasha Romanoff x reader

WORD COUNT: 5,142

WARNINGS: Nat is ghost face, smut, killing, blood, dark!Nat, Nat has a dick, cnc, dubcon, daddy kink, begging, praise, degrading, fingering, facials, dry-humping, knives, carving, pain kink, hair pulling, manipulation, size kink, tummy bulges, blowjobs, breeding, unprotected sex, kinda dark!R, very dark descriptions of death, kinda depressed!r, mentions of cheating (no cheating actually happens tho), think that’s all :)

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN!!

Your eerie apartment was filled with complete silence. You could hear the clock on the wall slowly ticking away at your life, but you couldn’t find it in you to care. You couldn’t find it in you to care if your entire existence would vanish in the spot, there was nothing left for you to live for anyways.

You clicked through the channels mindlessly, hoping to find something that could entertain you. The pizza box left on the table had three pieces left - all cold. Your girlfriend had been out for god knows how long. Your phone was next to you, taking Nat’s spot on the couch. It was nearly dead, but that didn’t matter, you didn’t get any notifications anyways.

Suddenly, after minutes of surfing through the tv, the blasting sounds of a breaking emergency filled your ears. The news reporter, a blonde woman most likely in her late thirties, stared dead into your eyes without knowledge of it. She read the words from the telegraph, a small shake in her voice as the man next to her hid a fearful gulp.

It started a few months ago, people reported dead all around the city. The only problem was that it was New York, there were small and large crimes daily; no cop, no matter how good, would ever be able to figure out who was the masked killer.

There had already been over ten found bodies, there was a small part of you who wished you were one of them. Blood would smear the walls of the victim's houses, a new letter to create a large sentence being designed ever so slowly. You wondered what they’d do if they got to each letter, would they stop? Would they be caught beforehand? You didn’t know, and you didn’t want to know.

Every video you found online was all about the same topic, who is this new Ghostface, as they called him. When would he strike again? Is it even a he? You didn’t bother, they were just a bunch of conspiracy theorists who had such little to do in their lives that they became so invested in others. So what if they were crazy? Isn’t everyone at least a little bit?

You could hear the sound of keys dangling outside of your door and rolled your eyes, she was back.

“Hey, beautiful.” She muttered when she got near you, planting a kiss on top of your head and climbing onto the couch. She took the spot next to you, accidentally sitting on your drained phone.

“Look who’s home.” She tried placing her arm around your neck, only to feel you shuffle away. You wouldn’t even look at her, only going to stand up and grab the recycling left on the coffee table.

“Oh, c’mon, are you really mad at me?” She attempted to pull you back down, make you sit with her so she can finally hold you; but you shrugged her off. She sighed, rolling her head back and trying to find comfort in the cheap sofa that did nothing for her.

“Why would I be mad? Because you were out all night and didn’t bother to text me or call me back? Or maybe because you smell like that bitches perfume?” You asked, sarcasm evident in your voice. She groaned and stood back up, yawning as she walked into the kitchen where you stood, back facing her as you scrubbed the dishes.

She watched you for a moment, her side leaning on the fridge as she crossed her arms over her broad chest. She waited for anything else, any other comment, but none came. Instead, she grabbed a warm beer from the six-pack box that was resting on the floor next to the counter. She easily popped open the cap and flicked it in the direction of the trash, hoping it made it in.

Your gaze traveled to the side when you noticed the glass bottle being placed next to you and let out a deep and frustrated sigh as you felt her hands rubbing your arms.

“You really think I’d fuck someone else when I have you right here?” She smirked with pure cockiness, it nearly made you want to puke. When you still did not indicate forgiveness or submitting, her smirk dropped.

“Why don’t you believe me, doll? I give you everything you ask and you still don’t trust me?” You felt her crotch poking your backside and tried to hide the goosebumps that arose to the surface. Her hands were gentle as they moved your hair to one side, letting your neck be displayed as you subconsciously leaned into her pecks. She kissed from your exposed shoulder up to your jawline, stopping there as you felt her hot breath against your cold skin.

“Nat-”

“Shh, isn’t this what you wanted?” You showed no evidence to prove her right. You wanted her to feel bad, it’s what she deserved. Who was she to think she can just take off whenever she wants, fuck who she wants, and have the audacity to get annoyed at your worries.

“You’re so hot when you’re mad, makes me just wanna- take you right here.” You felt her hands slide down your pants and dip into your panties. She audibly gasped when feeling your wetness gushing on her fingers.

“You want this, hm? You want daddy’s fingers?” Your palms gripped the ends of your countertop as her middle finger rubbed your clit slowly.

“More.” You choked out, your hips involuntarily grinding into her, chasing the pleasure. She chuckled, shaking her head and tsking.

“No, no, you need to tell me you want it, baby girl.” Your mouth opened, only to release a silent scream as she eased a finger into you. You fucking hated her, despised her, but she knew you perfectly, she knew exactly how to make you tell her how much you love her.

“I want it.” She hummed, signaling for you to continue. You groaned in annoyance, your hand traveling to your chest where you palmed your tits.

“I want it…daddy. I want you, please.” You struggled to get out through gritted teeth, hating how the words sounded coming from your mouth. This was the last time she’d get away with something through fucking you, you’d tell yourself, yet you seemed to repeat those words in your mind every single time. And every single time you ended up back in this situation, orgasms rushing through you while you acted like a desperate whore for any sort of attention she’d offer.

You wondered if her other woman felt the same as you, who couldn’t despise her every move?

“That’s a good girl, you’re daddy’s good little girl, right?” You nodded, your head falling on her shoulder as you tried to find hold of something. Her cock rubbed against your skin as she fucked herself to your pleasured state.

“Cum with me. Make a fucking mess, you slut.”

Your sleeping body laid with the blanket covering only your chest to the tops of your thighs. Nat was next to you, brushing the hair out of your face and smiling at your state. You look beautiful, you always did, but you looked even better when you were shut up for once. She wished she could just fuck that attitude right out of you.

Of course, she wasn’t cheating, no idiot would do such a thing to someone like you. You were a feisty little thing, if you ever found out she was cheating you’d beat her ass into her own grave and plead insanity - she taught you well.

“I’ll be back soon, pretty girl.” She whispered even when knowing you couldn’t hear such words. You shuffled in your sleep and she gave your forehead one last kiss before standing, finding a new pair of boxers and a bra before grabbing her clothing. She had everything she needed in her bag - her mask, outfit, and most importantly, her knife. The best part about it all was that the knife was a custom design you ordered for her for your first Christmas as a pair. It had her initials on it with a heart next to it, reminding her of your love. Your past love for her at least, everything was different now. She didn’t want to hurt you, but you couldn’t figure her out just yet. She’d tell you eventually, she wanted to, she loved nothing more than bragging about her killings, and with you, she’d finally have someone to do so with.

There was still that fear that you wouldn’t accept it though, it wasn’t exactly an easy topic to be brought up. But she couldn’t wait to prove to you that she was in fact loyal, just maybe not clean of her sins.

With one last glance, she left, closing the door behind her and walking down the stairs of the cheap building, shuffling the bag from shoulder to shoulder. She threw it in the car once she found her keys, settling herself in the driver's seat and preparing herself before driving off, her main destination in mind.

“Alright, Mar, let’s see just how well you handle it.” She mumbled to herself, her elbow slamming into the glass of the woman’s back window. She was in, the easiest part was done, and now it was just her time to have fun.

When you woke in the middle of the night, 2:43 AM reading on the clock, you searched for your lover, only to come up empty-handed. You bit back the bile in your throat and threw the blanket over you angrily, grabbing the suitcase you kept under your bed. It was meant for trips, now it was being used to kick out your girlfriend; if she even was that anymore. You didn’t know what changed her, who changed her, but you were done. If she wanted someone else then she could have them, she already used up all the chances you offered her.

Then, there was the sound of the keys rattling, she was back for the last time. You stood up with the luggage in hand, throwing the door open as you were planning to be greeted by a hickey-stained Nat with more excuses pooling out of her, but there was no one to be seen.

“Get the fuck out here, Nat.” You waited for something, but there was no sign of her. You noticed her keys resting on the ground in front of the door, covered in blood. You gulped, taking a step back from nothing.

“Nat? Babe, where- where are you?” You yelled out, your head turning in all directions to look for her. You still found no one, it was pitch black, and nearly impossible to find any sighting of anything besides the luggage by your feet. Your hands were sweaty as your body was stuck in place, you couldn’t move.

“This isn’t fucking funny, Nat, get out here right now.” Hands landed on your shoulders, a low whisper coming to your ear.

“Boo.” You jumped, turning around only to find a person dressed in all black besides their mask. The face covering looked like the design of a ghost, one that a child would draw as their mother praised them for what a good job they did, even if they knew it was horrible.

The man twirled the knife in his hands, watching your fear grow in your eyes and motions.

“Aww, did I scare you, baby girl?” You were able to really listen in on their voice this time, it sounded familiar. You suddenly regretted everything you had said earlier on, you weren’t ready to die just yet.

“No need to be scared, it’s just me.” The man went down on one knee in front of you, knife still in hand near their leg as his hand ventured to his mask, removing the plastic only to see,

“Nat?” She chuckled darkly, reaching up to switch on the light that was sitting on a small table next to you.

“What the fuck was that?” She tried to reach out for your face, only to be pushed away; she wasn’t having that. She gripped your arm tightly, your wrist starting to ache the more she squeezed. She took pleasure in seeing such pain and fear in your features, it somehow made you all the more beautiful.

“Nat- stop it, you’re hurting me.” She smiled darkly as you spoke.

“Perfect.” You thought this was the end, she was going to kill you, your girlfriend was going to kill you. But there seemed to be no move made to do so.

“If you’re going to kill me just get it over with already.” She let go of your arm and you noticed the tensity in her jaw increasing, her head turning just enough for her darkened glare to look all the more dangerous.

“Oh, baby, you really think I’d kill you? There’s no point, it’s not like anyone would miss you.” The words hurt even more than your wrist in the moment, you bit back a remark, choosing to play your cards right and not argue with the woman now pointing a knife at you.

“No, I’m not going to kill you, we’re just gonna have a bit of fun together, alright?” The cold metal pressed against your neck, the sharp tip nearly causing you to leak blood. You whimpered the further she went, your skin barrier breaking as a red substance slowly dripped down your neck.

“Fuck, you don’t know how badly I’ve been wanting this, I’ve been just dying to see you dripping in blood all at the hands of my knife.” You didn’t move, didn’t speak, the fear of what she’d do to you if so indulging you.

“You know, I was planning to come home to my gorgeous little girl laying in bed, ready to take me whenever I want. But instead, I came home to a suitcase of my clothes ready for me, you were gonna kick me out, huh?” You slowly nodded, wetness pooling in your eyes and your shorts. You squeezed your eyes shut in shame, it was so wrong to be needy after such things, she was holding a deadly object to your body and you were still turned on, were you just as crazy as her?

“But seeing that look in your eyes I- fuck, I just wanted you so much more. I was going to tell you, but I- I didn’t know how you’d react, you know?” She was practically manic as she spewed jumbled-up words, her eyes wide and her laugh being as haunted as her soul.

“I mean, just watching Maria on the floor, begging for her life to be saved- it just made me want to shove this knife so deep inside of her and watch as her life slowly drained from her eyes until there was nothing left.” Your own eyes widened at her words, trying to scramble as far away from her as you could. There was no escape though, you were pressed against the wall and she was surrounding every part of you, including your mind.

“Don’t run from me, baby.” She started. “All of this- all of it would’ve been prevented if it wasn’t for you. God, you’re just such a fucking slut, whoring yourself out to practically everyone. Do I not do enough for you? I fucking killed for you and that’s not enough?” You knew this was all the manipulation tactics that she noticed seemed to work with you, and it was working. You were ready to spit out apology after apology, praying for forgiveness, just like all of her victims.

She quickly reached for her bag, and you wanted nothing less than to know what was in there. She grabbed a small book, opening it to show the multiple photos of bloodied victims fallen at her hands. She looked proud, excited, all to show you her work.

“Maybe these people would’ve still been alive if it wasn’t for you.” You tore your eyes away quickly, you couldn’t stand seeing such brutality. It wasn’t your fault, you weren’t the one who hurt them, you told yourself. But there was that nagging thought, what if she did kill them because of you? Sure, you flirted, you had old flings but they weren’t contacted since you started your long relationship with Nat.

“Maria didn’t deserve this, none of them did.” You sobbed out, flinching when you felt her hand on your cheek. It was a soothing matter, one meant to calm you, but it did everything but. Suddenly, the same hand connected harshly with the skin, causing it to instantly redden in pain.

“They wanted you, baby, you should’ve known that. You think I didn’t pick up on Maria’s glances at your ass or these, perfect breasts of yours?” She groped your body with desire, shuddering out a breath while doing so.

“Of course, you didn’t notice, you thought she was just being ‘nice’, so fucking stupid.”

“And Wanda? She had a husband, Nat, a family.” Instead of giving you the response you wanted, an explanation to it all, she just continued to tease your nipples with the pad of her thumb through the fabric.

“You know I’d never kill you, right?” It took you a moment before you could get out a hesitant nod, struggling to fully believe her. You always trusted her, but times changed, and so did she.

“I like hurting people, it excites me. But you, I could never do such a thing, I never want to see you in pain, pretty girl.” She murmurs, moving her free hand to her crotch where she rubbed herself thoroughly.

“I just- you ever get so angry, so sick of someone, you just wish you could, like, kill them? Sometimes when we get into those heated arguments, I just wonder how much you’d be willing to beg me not to hurt you.” You watched as she slowly slid the black suit over her head, revealing her black sweatpants. She lowered them to her knees, and let her boxers make way to your vision.

“I’d never act on it, but with others, you don’t need to care about how much they mean to you, because their life costs me nothing but annoyance. I’d kill every last soul on this planet just for you, all you’d have to do is ask.” She grasped your hand, leading it to her confined cock as you palmed her length. Your breathing was ragged, shaky as you refused to look her in the eyes. You knew if you stared too deep into that emerald glaze, there would be no stopping. You wouldn’t be able to stay mad at her if you saw the care hidden deep inside of her.

“If I let you touch me, will you stop?” The killings are what you meant, but there was a hidden meaning in the words.

“I can’t promise you I’ll be able to, love.” There was a small whimper escaping her lips as you dipped your hand inside her underwear, grasping her cock in your hands as you stroked with a back-and-forth motion.

“That’s it, don’t stop.” You couldn’t believe yourself, you were sick, insane. Was this normal? No, it couldn’t be. But it felt so good, there was no stopping it. You wanted to see her face contort into pleasure, you wanted to see what she’d do to you. Would she treat you the same as Maria? Would she kill you when you were done? Did she mean it when she sputtered those words? You didn’t want to die just yet, you used to think you did, but that was until you faced death with open arms. How could a criminal, a serial murderer, a psychopath look so perfect? She still looked the same, but there was blood covering her hands and her red hair was messy, her forehead covered in trails of sweat.

“I’m- God, you’re such a good little girl, so fucking perfect.” She noticed the way your thighs clenched, rubbing together as your hips jutted into the air.

“Does someone like when daddy compliments them? Tells them how good they’re doing?” You nodded quickly, your mouth aching to land on her crotch.

“Yeah? You like being a good girl? Or do you like being a good little slut for me?” Both. The answer was both. You wanted nothing more than to prove your worth to her, but you wanted her to treat you like you had none.

“I’m cumming, baby, I’m fucking cumming.” She clenched her jaw tightly and groaned deeply as continuous spurts of cum coated your face. She looked down, grasping your hair in her hands to create a ponytail before forcing herself into your mouth. She could feel the salty tears that had traveled down to your lips spreading amongst her dick, making her grin.

“Swallow daddy’s cum, little girl.” She whispered, dragging you up and down as you gagged around her. Some dribbled down your chin, but she didn’t mind, and neither did you. It had been so long since she felt the warmth that was your mouth, you had been refusing to have sex with her until earlier today. When she finally got her hands on you, it felt magical, like a long-awaiting finale to a show.

“Your throat is so fucking tight,” She said. “I know you must be so wet, you like it when I’m rough, don’t ya’?” She extracted her length from your mouth, causing you to let out a multiple of deep breaths. She tossed your loose shorts to the side after ripping them in half, her biceps flexing in the short moment it took to do so.

“I’m gonna fucking ruin you, Y/N.” She rarely ever used your name, it was almost odd to hear such a thing. She got ahold of your thighs, pulling you forward and, if it wasn’t for her your hand massaging the part of your scalp she tugged, your head would’ve roughly slammed against the wooden floor.

Your thighs were then lifted to meet your stomach, her cock standing tall as she guided herself to prod at your hole. She rubbed up and down your folds, moaning lowly at the wetness coating you. She pressed herself teasingly against your clit, watching as your lips twitched upward.

“Nat- condom.”

“Oh, no, baby, I have a little something planned for tonight.” She eyed you with a soft smile as if it was the most obvious thing, you wished it didn’t turn you on as much as it did.

“You giving me that look isn’t going to help your case, it only makes me want to fuck you even more.” She stated when you gulped, giving her a nervous and feared look. This wasn’t your Nat, this was someone else, but you loved her just as much.

“F-fuck, you’re so warm and- tight!” She mumbled as her tip slowly opened you up. It was difficult to fit close to half of her inside of you, you didn’t know how you’d manage all of her. She held girth to her, and she was proud to point it out. She loved noticing how tiny you were compared to her, how her cock seemed to stretch you out more so than anything ever has before. No toy had come close; you became dependent on her length to fulfill your needs.

Your shirt soon joined your shorts as she tore it off you, roughly grasping your breast and squeezing as if it were a stress ball.

“Don’t do that. You’re a big girl, you can take it.” You whined pitifully, but her gaze was only filled with lust as her skin managed to press against yours. You had never once been able to take every last inch of her, but you were so wet, more than you’ve ever been. This side of her brought out something inside of you, something so shameful, you didn’t want to acknowledge it. But Nat did. She could sense how badly you had been wanting to spice things up for months, it was almost starting to turn out to be boring between you two, and she never expected you to act so compliant.

“Daddy, you’re so big.” She rested both arms at either side of your head, staring down at you with an intensity you longed for. You could see how badly she was trying to hold back from hurting you, but she wanted to so much. The thought of you covered in your blood only made her cock throb and pulse. She leaned down, letting her mouth ghost against yours, causing you to pull her forward to connect yourself with her. Her tongue poked at your lips, begging to get a taste of you. You didn’t let her, only pulling back with your eyes slowly trailing from her parted lips to her forest-green eyes.

“Fuck me, Nat.” She never liked her name all that much, she thought it was basic. But hearing it come from your mouth with your voice, it did things to her.

She pulled her hips back, her length sliding out of you, only to fuck itself back into you. Your tits jumped with your body as the thrust, her gaze couldn’t leave them.

She was in a deep state of arousal, even worse than you. And her knife was right there, it would’ve been so easy to repeat her actions onto her own body, but you didn’t want to. You didn’t care if she was a killer, you still loved her, you were as sick and gross as her. If anything, the thought fascinated you. You always enjoyed gore movies, and she was more than ecstatic when she found someone who shared her deep love for such acts, and you thought it was normal at first. That was until she asked you if you ever thought about doing the same things they did. You instantly said no, a little too quickly. Nat knew you were far from innocent, but she loved this part of you more than anything. You accepted her, even if she was insane.

“That feel good?” She asked, her voice coming out in stutters and cracked moans. You had released a loud whimper when she hit that spot deep inside of you, your nails clawing at her skin. She liked the pain, it sent a thrill through her body.

You felt a sharp poke against the skin of your thigh, looking down only to find her weapon covered in the blood of a previous fool, and now you were just the same.

“Nat-”

“Shh, just- shut up and take what I give you, alright?” She let the knife cut into you, leaving red liquid behind as it trailed down your body. It was warm, yet it still sent chills down your spine.

“You look so beautiful with my design, sweetheart.” She had carved an ‘N’, waiting and hoping for the end result where it’d scar your body forever. She didn’t know why she loved it so much, maybe if she hadn’t lied to the psychiatrists, she’d know.

“You think I should do the same thing…here?” Your skin lied a red trail that followed up until your neck, stopping short as she noticed your breathing patterns change.

“I could easily kill you, and no one would know.” She chuckled, bringing her face to rest on your shoulder, her nose against your neck as she inhaled your sweet scent. The knife pressed down a little harder, letting the skin break as a droplet fell.

“I know you won’t.” You whispered, goosebumps erupting over your skin. You were close, so close. You needed her, anything from her.

“Smart girl you are, hm?” Her hips were starting to lose rhythm the longer she went, it was growing more difficult to keep the same pace. The coil in her stomach had been begging to be let free, to finally relax as she came.

“You gonna cum, baby?” You nodded, moans consuming you making it impossible to speak. She finally leaned back, placing her palms on your stomach where a bulge appeared. She gasped, drawing in your attention as you hesitantly followed her vision. You bit your lip in hunger when noticing what caught your girlfriend’s attention, you had found her loving the way she could overpower you at any moment; taking you however she wanted because you couldn’t deny it. She adored being larger than you, it fueled that pride hidden inside of her.

“Oh, daddy must be stretching you out so, so much, huh? You’re just a cute little slut, so small compared to me.”

“Please-”

“Please, what?” She felt her peak rising further, she needed to release.

“Please cum inside me.” She was already planning to whether you wanted it or not, but seeing your dislike to the thought of children or pregnancy, she thought you’d never let her do so. She grinned, throwing her head back as she tried to muster out a response.

“I am, baby, I’m gonna cum so fucking deep inside of you. Cum with me.” She felt your juices coating her length as your legs shook violently. Pumps of her release shot into you, a deep groan caving its way out of her.

“You’ll look so sexy carrying my babies.” She had the image planted deep in her mind, she wanted to make it a reality.

“Yes! Please- God, fuck!” She didn’t stop after your first orgasm, causing your sensitivity to grow until you couldn’t take such abuse anymore. The blood on your skin had dried, and red hand marks that would soon bruise made way to your vision.

“You’re okay, just relax.” You couldn’t believe it, the murderer you had spent nights praising for their impressive kill count and multiple days fearing was your girlfriend, and you didn’t even hate her for it.

“I told you, I’ll kill anyone for you. I want us to get away from the city, find someplace to lie low for a little bit, at least until they cross me out as a suspect. We can be happy, we can have everything you’ve always wanted, together.” She kissed the back of your hand, letting them leave a pattern up your arm until she reached your face, leaving a long and passionate kiss on your lips.

You weren’t ready for this, you didn’t even have money. And there were so many things that could go wrong, but wasn’t it worse in a place like this? There, you’d have a knowing of where Nat would be, she wouldn’t have to hurt anyone anymore. But would she ever really stop? Or was she just saying that to ease your worries? You didn’t know, but you also didn’t care. You’d always have Nat, in any way possible.

“Okay.”

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