#why does a bitch try me so much!?!?

[nerdster312]

Can't find the original post but I still feel this to this very day...

#lerdt #mood #me #omg #me irl #that's a mood #fucking mood #meme #vileplume #pokemon #customers #why does a bitch try me so much!?!?

[saunteringvaguelydownwards]

****

Motherfucker, y'all got me writing again, what the fuck?

#nah it's cool #i just banged out 1200 words one night then made myself cry with my own writing the next night #good. great. awesome. love that for me. #i haven't written fic in 10 years #what the actual fucking fuck #also #i'm just out here trying to get to the one scene i wanted to write that started this whole mess but now there's fucking PLOT? #i'm 2900 words in and it's gonna take at least twice that long to get where i wanna go #maybe #if i'm lucky #and why does a bitch need to understand fake science from a fictional world? #fucking hell #i refuse to deal with reya and the holy war #i am not taking it that far #that entire prospect is fucking exhausting and many better writers than me have already gone there #i mean fuck i'm already worried that i've read so much WN fic that i'm subconsciously cribbing story elements #y'all do this for fun? on the regular? #props to the fic writers #i was already a fan but damn i had forgotten how hard this shit is #warrior nun #fanfic

[lisbonsteresa]

they make me so

#tm #the way she immediately goes along with him there's no hesitation and then she immediately puts them in the same boat i want to scream #because there's a way to read this that it's actually too much faith; she trusts him and his methods - weird though they usually are - #maybe too much - the 'one day i'm gonna get fired because of you; that's just how it is' route #(which is like that excellent tag i saw - that lisbon's 'a rebel with the trauma of having to be responsible' - #like she likes breaking the rules and jane breaks them in fun ways (usually) and his rule-breaking gets results #- the 'people might ask why you signed on with me in the first place' bit alsosheskindofinlovewithhimnbd) #but on the other hand there is a bit of 'such little faith' too because yes he gets results but she knows firsthand (and repeatedly) #that he runs the risk of hurting - himself; others; her - while he gets those results #and she's putting them in the same boat she's making them equally responsible for anything that happens #*unequally actually she'd take the brunt of any punishment/backlash as they both know #and you COULD (and i do) see that as her trying (maybe unconsciously) to temper him; to pull him back from going TOO far #whatever you're doing you're not doing alone; remember this is on me now too don't go too far #CAN'T YOU SEE THERE'S PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU; WHO NEED YOU #and like does the tempering always work? no; obviously; for multiple reasons #but for her to - on whatever level - think that she would be enough FOR it to work? much to think about #(it's crazy how it's so clear that on some level they both know she's the most important person to him #but they're also just....tucking that fact away until a moment comes when they can actually think fully about what it means #(which would have to be post red john but also they're just avoidant bitches too afraid to look too close i love it) #anyway i'm back at work so i'm back to thinking too much about tv shows that ended 8 years ago it's so cool and stable #(also rigsby just going along with it too lkfasdj i just adore them) #FUCK THE END OF THE EPISODE BARK BARK I FEEL CRAZY #TERESA LISBON YOU'RE SO IMPORTANT TO ME LIKE SHIT

[thedevotionaltour]

thinking about daredevil yellow again im not. going to make it Guys.

#static.soundz #crying screaming and hitting the ground. so good. it made me cry really bad #bc whenever i think about jack n matt it always makes me think of me n my dad for various reasons #when matt said i couldnt feel his heartbeat inside me anymore. no words. #i rambled about it on my main but dd is very much intwined in an interesting and special way with my own heavy grief about my dad #and matt was a very important character to me during that time of my life for the exact same reason. #it's why i take a lot of very heavy issue when things try to make it so his dad died in his childhood as opposed to college #bc a) think it takes away a lot of the important nature of their relationship and b) my own personal projection #bc all grief at any stage is highly personal and unique and particular #but it really does feel like. matt is really just starting to become an adult (depending whether he dies when matt's in under or post grad) #(bc i can never remember which) but he's not quite a mega established one. there's still that lingering of childhood #so even though he's grown. it just hurts in a very particular way. they saw you grow up. but they didnt really see you become an adult. #they did not see the person you're going to be. that you are. that you're becoming. it feels like such a bizarre unfair moment in time. #bc why now? why not when i was younger? why not when i was truly an adult adult who is expecting to lose you now? #why at this moment and no other time? #but thinking about matt going i wish i told my dad how much i loved him. #more than anything when he goes 'i love you dad. did you hear? i love you.' #it made me cry like a fucking bitch. honest to god tearing up when i type about it. it wrenches my heart it twists it and it makes me wanna #drop to my knees and just weep and weep and weep. they are everything to me. #i have intertwined a lot of matt's grief with mine in a way that makes him so so so important to me. because as stupid as it fucking sounds #that comic and him as a character are everything to me. so genuinely. they were a lifeline my freshman year #when i was so depressed all i could do was read comics. or listen to music #i could do nothing else. i did. clearly. i did work and assignments. but dd was everything to me alongside dm #im sorry i am being an actual like nutbag in my tags im sorry i just have a lot of feelings. this story is everything to me ever ok? ok.

[apollo-zero-one]

Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....

#I had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and I SQUANDERED IT!! weak ass third grade PUSSY! Your life could have been SO SICK!! #or you could at least be addicted to cocain or something interesting like that!! Boring ass goody two shoes always just staying home doing #NOTHING bitch make a REAL FRIEND go to a God Damn PARTY live a little instead of just hiding in the closet eating saltine crackers for years #waiting for it to be quiet outside before you ever even toed the line #mentally ill self-isolating motherfucker #you could have shrugged it off you could have GROWN A PAIR and FOUGHT BACK but you just ran and cried for mommy #victim complex little bitch baby always whining and exaggerating and making shit up fucking LIAR I am you and I KNOW what you did and I know #you knew it wasn't the truth and you regretted it the moment it came out of uour mouth but once you'd said it you just swallowed it back and #doubled down incriminating or discrediting others with your lies. For why? Because you didn't like them? You could have ruined someone's #life you wouldn't have hesitated mayhe you did and don't even remember because you cant keep your mouth shut with your pants ablaze #manipulative little shit and to WHAT END? Pity? Sympathy? Attention? Entertainment?? What was even going on in your stupid ugly head? #This is a callout post for my third grade self that possessed demon ass evil nine year old. That kid drowned anthills in olive oil and #poisoned a wild animal once. That kid cut plants just to see if they oozed. That kid modified her whole ass personality on a dime for a boy #she had a crush on. INSTANTLY dropped a LIFELONG CULTURAL ALLEGIANCE (thats what football teams were like back then in our town) because he #said he had the opposite allegiance??? What the fuck? girl had NO integrity none zip zilch. #No empthy either that kid looked at everyone else on earth like they were friggin space aliens and she was the only one with Real feelings. #bitch literally thought like 'I have Feelings they just have Reactions' bitch what the fuckkkkk #that nine year old was fucked the hell up!!! #and for literally NO REASON!! No cause!! Just born fucking evil and weird. jesus fuck. #Evil ass bitch caused her autistic brother months of nightmares and then laughed about it and wrote poetry about how evil he was because he? #was a kid??? Normal sibling rivalry taken way way way too far defamatory ass statements #and this girl had NO CONSEQUENCES because she could lie and manipulate her way out of ANYTHING she had the baby eyes and the helpless charm #and played dumb soooo well . read people like some calculative evil AI scanning their faces for microexpressions and overanalyzing each word #choice like holy shit. its not That Deep. pretentious shit trying to play 5D chess on a checkers board. #Manipulating shit just to see what happens?? zero awareness?? no asking just skipping straight to testing for yourself?? #'What happens if I step on this' it fucking breaks 'what does that taste like?' it's not fucking yours to mess with 'if I hit this person #how will they respond?' they'll be upset use your goddamn judgement you are NINE not TWO do you even care a little about any other person?? #Are you just living in some other reality??? #callout post for the fucking demon child inside of me #im so goddamn problematic I'm so so so deeply mentally disturbed and broken for no reason

[munch-mumbles]

ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on

#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other #meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20 #tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are #few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is #get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?' #and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went #on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.) #etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves #like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more #chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already #nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them #up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t #finish my sentence #and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves #so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me #then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear #and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning #during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the #door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh? #and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her #why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking #basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore #cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come #back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open #ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me #GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan #im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just #gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean #im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other #LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!

[beverageenthusiast]

.

#good fucking god #im hanging out w my mom and i remember why i dont love hanging out with my mom #she gives in to toxic diet culture and is a huge reason why my relationship with food is so fucked upppp #minding my business making myself a rice bowl w sweet potato and avocado w miso tahini dressing 🤌🤌 #and unprompted shes like #‘im on a new diet i cant eat any of those things i can only have 200 calories per meal #i miss avocado so much but i’d rather be skinny’ #im like BITCH???????? #thanks for sharing and also that ‘nutrition center’ u went to and bought a bunch of frozen food from is a scam #once u stop eating their special food they upsell you then ur gonna gain it all back i hate to break it to you #and also the key to losing weight is to exercise enough to offset what you eat #she does not exercise at all. #she made me fuckin weigh myself in front of her the other day and when she saw the number she was like ‘thats not that bad’ #HELLO?????? #is she trying to give me another ed? cuz her saying that is exactly how i developed an ed 7 years ago :-) #losing my mind actually #ive genuinely put in so much work and its such a conscious and constant effort to not fall back into those patterns #and here i am holding back tears while i try to finish eating

[boxwinebaddie]

UNCLE NINA I LOVEDD CHAP 6 IVE ALREADY READ IT TWICE JUST CAUSE STAN WAS BEING SO CUTE AND NERDY

MY SWEETHEART MY LOVELY !! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I NEEDED TO READ THIS TODAY!!! ;-; <3333 NOT TO BE RAVENSTAN BUT THIS SERIOUSLY ALMOST MADE ME CRY!!!! TY

( you guys know how much i beat myself up, so messages like this mean everything to me...also sorry most of under the cut isn't relevant i just like to ramble about the boys and their dynamic <3 )

but anyways! back to you being my starlight starbright:

lately...i've just been having so much anxiety and imposter syndrome about my writing -- it's bad to the point where when i posted rm6 like two days ago, where i was supposed to be happy and in high spirits, i was so nervous and anxious ( it's this dull, awful ache in my sternum ) that i spent the day pacing w/ my heart racing, ugh. </3

because my brain is so bad, it's hard for me to convince myself when i post that i made the right creative decisions, that you guys are enjoying where the story is going, that it makes sense etc.

so when i get really nice asks like this one from you ( mon ange ) telling me directly that you enjoyed the chapter...oh my god, i feel so much better i can't even tell you. i was really worried people didn't like it or it was too weird bc...its a lot, but...it was cute!

we got to see who raven is offstage and see hes stan and hes a literal angel! that hes down to earth and a fucking loser and so wonderful!!!

i can not tell you guys how painful it was for me just to feed you those starboy snippets of raven being rizzgod and all untouchable and sexy

because...yes he did that thing...but when hes not doing that thing...hes watering his plants and singing to them and wearing the big anime boy tee-shirts and crying and using a tortilla chip as a fork.

so this update!!! meant a lot to me because we got to watch stan be himself and be embarrassing and slip on every surface whilist actually fruedian slipping w/ kyle bc hes so nervous around him and be a lover boy and a crybaby and a crunchy nerdy nervy plant boy

and we also got to watch how the affects kyle, who thinks he knows everything, but then gets immediately humbled because ravenstan is not like the awful ravenraven he made up in his brain who he hates vs. the nice cute awkward boy in his living room who lies badly when nervous, brought him a succulent and is actually...sort of lovely?

...but when you're on a hate with your best friend who you don't know is dead and are a cynical skeptical messticle of a man and having your phantom theres stan syndrome flaire up everytime a literal celebrity smiles or bites his lip and looks like...Your Stan...its...not fun.

but more on that later! next chapter, the boys call ike! which! yay!

but x 2, thank you for being so kind. i seriously thought people were like not enjoying it or the plot progession or thought it was underwhelming/too choppy/messy. so this means a lot to me!

tldr: ravenstan is actually a sweet, sloppy, pathetic nervous wreck and jerseykyle, if nothing else ( sorry king ) is eating his words, because he just might be enjoying his horrible little hate...w/ a deplorable boy who is being weirdly adorable ...

enough to forgive and pardon the most criminal offense outlined in the extensive k.b law handbook...

being ~fashionably~ late :) <3

( and recklessly rizzing him in spanish without a license )

my boys my boys my boys,

uncle nina <3333333

p.s. thank you again for enjoying the update i'm glad you liked weird boy raven i love him so much hes so cute we will see more of him <3

#i have so much to say abt their relationship and how it develops its just so...kyle is so confused and cynical abt it #like his brain is spliting in half like ravens the one being nervous but its actually making kyle SUPER nervous bc hes like #why isnt he being awful what the fuck is wrong with him why is he being nice to me why does he remind me of stan what kind of game is this #his phantom theres stan! disorder be wildin like #gdi can this guy who i thought was hot but a tool and annoying go back to doing and not cute and sweet and pretty #can he stop reminding me of everything i loved about my best friend who is dead like fuck you clozapine nice try bitch #but yeah nerd raven rights! he knows all the scientific plant names volunteers at so many animal shelters is so clumsy and embarrassing #hes a pr disaster but its not bc hes mean its bc hes a chaotic bisexual disaster boy who just wants do everything right #and accidentally does everything wrong :( but hes very endearing and so so nice i swear #he be melting kyles heart he be confusing his brain raven did the stan wowza and his heart was RACING #raven: uses the super sexy rockstar voice to try and rizz kyle #kyle: moderately turned on but mostly pissed off #ravenstan: gets nervous and goes i like your ears! you look like an elf! i meant i like ur hair! its so pretty when its up! or d-down! #whichever! you always look good! not that i look all the time i look a normal amount i am SO normal!!! haha *starts coughing* #kyle: not pissed off at all more than moderately turned on also wants to kiss him extremely bad on all surfaces #slay olay baby!

[badolmen]

I’m beginning to think my personal high standards for myself are the enemy…

#ra speaks #personal #*head in hands* being a person is heard. gonna go drive for three hours late at night to see if I feel better. #it’s a combo of trying something new (writing in present tense which I prefer to read but hate to write for some reason) #and sharing results I’m not satisfied with (rewrote that bitch four times and still not happy w how it turned out) #but it was well received inspite of its imperfections so ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ #ik ik it’s just the imposter syndrome kicking up again and as much as I try not to let it show thru #I get worried that worrying abt it stresses other ppl out bc they feel compelled to comfort me out of pity instead of #interacting w what I make free of my influence #*shaking myself by the shoulders* I understand that you value your work based on your personal satisfaction w it #which is why you have like 50k+ word fics with like. two comments bc you are your own target audience #so you don’t care if other people like what you made so long as you like it #but as it turns out being dissatisfied with something you make does not disqualify it from having value for others

[quirkle2]

vacuumed for two (2) minutes. my spine: screaming. ihave to lie down

#qktalks #i am a squiggly bitch (scoliosis haver) and it ruins me routinely #why is our vacuum so fuckin heavy tho .can we talk abt this. why r they making them weigh So Much #like i know im a weak little noodle but it felt like i was trying to push an entire pyramid. just make them lighter. dear god #this new vacuum sucks (.. ... .) it's SO big. fuck off #BUT this one does have a cool feature where it automatically reels in the power cord when ur done. that's neat

[urostakako]

im about to complain so hard about irl people u best believe it

#but its not really about this person specifically. disregarding the fact she annoys me so much #this girl has always made me feel like an evil bitch who is only capable of hurting everyone around me. and her friends told me as much #and whats worse is we used to be friends too. im not gonna lie and say i never made mistakes in my friendships #but theres a difference between showing me i did something wrong and demonizing me for it #but somehow she has been following me everywhere i go. she followed me to a summer program. she followed me in volunteer programs. #she followed me to my damn high school and then she followed me to that stupid group job interview #and shes better than me in every single way and i wouldnt care if i just didnt know her #i hate feeling jealous and petty like this because then i feel like im proving her right but oh my god #i wouldnt care if i didnt get that job if SHE didnt answer those questions perfectly with no struggle or stutter and such a big smile #everytime she shows up its like theres no point that i do anything at all #who cares if i dont get a job but why would it have to be given to HER. and i know it will. because shes better and she always does #the only time she doesnt get something is if she herself refuses it. and i try to ignore it i try not to feel this way #because it feels so gross and like she was right about me all along. but im so tired too #aricouldyounot

[fen-ha-fuck-you]

if i had a nickel for every time a concerned party has tried to set me up, subtly or otherwise, with a loved one of theirs in order to get them away from what is described to me as a "toxic relationship", i would have three nickels.

which is not a lot, but it's weird that it's happened three times.

#personal #m #no but seriously why does this keep happening to me #i love breaking up shitty relationships as much as the next bitch #but what the fuck #also this would be a lot easier if you came to me directly about it #so i could put my heart into it ya know #i could break people up so easily if i was actively trying #don't just put me in a situation #utilize me as i was meant to be utilized #smh

[cathymee]

Telesforo NO-

It drives me mad why they keep the locket so much ;-; that they made Juli a dang servant (that the family/Tatang Selo does not want to do)

This is also the chapter of: Juliana Slander and well... Why are they arresting Tatang Selo?

Since i cannot understand much.... Simoun selling at Tales' den is well... just why?

This is just... foolish. Unless he is framed.

MY FRIEND I AM SO SORRY FOR ANSWERING SO LATE OMG ;-; just went through a busy month as i am about to graduate in my current year and had no time to pop back in here huhu but i've gathered my 2 brain cells now except whatever i wrote here isn't coherent at all

also first off the fact that this chapter is called merry christmas...u wanna beat up rizal w/me

aaaaaa i was screaming at simoun the entire damn chapter!! injustice really drives people to achieve justice and/or retribution in ways they see fit, and to achieve it with fury and vengeance is what simoun wanted to happen for all filipinos which is so fookin dumb like !! YOU BETTER STOP. and to think i had classmates before who cheered him on for exploiting the unprivileged and the oppressed like this bc "haha the indios' rebellion go brrr" but shits on activists and people who hold leftist political ideologies now by red-tagging them,,,, wild. like look around!! see what state we are in right now for people to be desparate enough to rebel and oppose the clowns, murderers, and the thieves in power. WILD.

juli's servitude still makes my heart hurt even now too :( it's just all so fucking cruel for all of them involved. selo just loves her granddaughter so much it breaks his heart enough to want death over seeing juli suffer being a servant instead of being the rich maiden, comfortable and well, that he had envisioned and wanted her to be…juli just loves her father so much that she tried all the plans and ideas she was offered just to earn money…juli just also loves basilio so much that she thinks she wouldn't be good enough for him but is at least comforted by the thought that she didn't sell the locket that he gave her as a sign of her loyalty….crying in the club rn. i understand why it's so frustrating at a logical standpoint tho because selling the locket would really really help them & basilio would give 0 fucks about the locket as long as juli and her family would be safe and well arrghhh I FEEL SO FRUSTRATED OVER IT AS WELL

juli slander INDEED literally she deserves so much better!! I WILL FIGHT ALL THE FUCKING FRIARS FOR HER

(another thing: do you think rizal forgot about sinang being really close friends with maria in the noli LMAOO bc the way he wrote sinang in this chapter has me raising eyebrows like sir. she was mc's cousin & bestie. we know it's been 13 years but come on…)

and they were supposed to arrest tales, as tales did commit murder but since he wasn't to be found they arrested tatang selo. (also Tales wasn't framed :( he intentionally left a trace behind because, well, vengeance. it's a sign and a threat to the authorities. :') )

i literally do not think there was any law out there at that time that states that they'd arrest another family member if the one who committed a crime wasn't present?? i mean i know like it was a colonization thing and the filipinos were heavily, heavily oppressed but i was thinking about if there were still any laws involved in this that i don't know about. does this make sense.

though granted the only thing we learned at school about laws in the spanish colonization era was the polo y servicio & nothing else, and to dive into the criminal laws in the Philippines in the 1800s at 12 AM is very tempting but i can't because i don't have the brain cells for it. i'm so sorry 😭 but even if that was validated by the law - which grants executions anyway?? actually??? and the system was GREATLY unjust and unfair towards Filipinos??? why is this mind-boggling sorry i'm very stupid HGSHGSHGAH - that was still unjust, tyrannic bullshit. and i wanna fucking fight simoun for being delighted at all literally fuck him

ANYWAY 😭 Simoun sold jewels there because that was the disguise he took on when he arrived in the country - he's a rich jeweler dude who tagged along to the Philippines because he's the Captain-General's closest friend (and the one who influences him to do bad shit, like what he details in ch7), now he's just. frolicking around. selling his stupid jewels when he knows most filipinos literally cannot afford his trinkets. a taunting figure of wealth and power just fucking shit up in the background

#DE DIOS FAMILY + BASILIO MY ABSOLUTE BELOVEDS !!! they deserved so much better :(( #sorry for the little rants my brain is scattered this is what research does to me /j #but i miss screaming in here sm!! also gonna try to reread the books again this school break hsghgdjgdgaj i'm a lil rough in the fili now.. #and omg it was peepaw rizal's birthday a day ago now too ^^ this bitch's soul really dragged me back in here #but now i'm having an existential crisis over criminal laws back then in the philippines...i wanna study it now #but it's also a headscratcher because do laws even apply for the filipinos. actually. especially to the poor?? #i think they weren't granted easy access to the courts?? but to what extent?? #how do courts work back then again actually. literally what. how. #was there even a system at work legally or are the filipinos just getting fucked over casually by the friars and authorities. #hashtag grabbing lands typical villar monday #hashtag murdering kids at tinola thursday #sorry this is so dumb of me HGGSHSGJAHGS #i need the DEETS though #why did the education system fail me like this i'm literally about to cry i want to know more about this #asks