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reiderwriter · 8 months

Note

hi 💖 I’m literally ✨obsessed✨ with your writing atm and I’ve never done a request before so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity!!

I would love to read an established couple fic where reader drops by !professor spencer’s office and spicy times ensue 🌶️👀 the trope where reader is inexplicably jealous of the girls auditing his class gets me every 🤌 single 🤌 time 🤌 (but don’t feel like you have to include that trope!! I’m a sucker for any !professor spencer smut lmao)

- 🐺 anon

A/N: Thank you sm for your request!! I am also slightly unhinged about Professor Spencer (I think this is my second one this month lmao) so I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: use of sir, degradation, fingering, no contraception, PinV sex, semi-public sex, jealous reader (she's like 27 beefing with undergrads), age-gap (15 years), Spencer keeps a souvenir of her visit 😊. Also I don't even know if American lecturers have office hours, so like... For context I am a European living in SK lmao. 18+ MINORS DNI

W/C: ~2k

Check out my masterlist!!

You’d lost count of how many times you’d visited Spencer in his office now that he’d started lecturing semi-regularly. The break from his regular activities as a member of the BAU suited him well, and you had no complaints either, loving having an excuse to drop by the college campus he was based on to visit the cute student-run coffee shops and explore the space. And since you’d started working from home while you wrote your novel, you definitely had the time to visit.

Usually, you’d find him in some lecture theatre or the other, but having walked around all his regularly scheduled rooms, he was nowhere in sight. You shrugged a little, figuring that he must be in his office if he was nowhere else. You were right, of course, but he wasn’t exactly alone.

A line of undergrads had formed at his door as you noticed the sign pinned to his door mentioned his updated office hours for the semester in the run-up to finals week. Typical. You were never the best-timed person, and you could see that you weren’t going to get his attention for a while from the look of all the students. You waited outside for him to open the door and summon the next student into his office, settling onto a couch opposite his door.

You weren’t trying to listen in to the multiple conversations going on, but you couldn’t help it when they were being so loud and open.

“God, he’s so fucking hot, I just want him to bend me over that desk and-”

“-wonder if he’s single. If he is, I’m totally going to make a move-”

“-I just know it’s big-”

“- in that lecture about the serial rapist, all I could think about was his hands-”

You blushed a little deeper with each of their confessions. They didn’t know who you were, of course they didn’t, and you sure as hell weren’t going to tell them. But now you knew why it was that they were here, and honestly, you couldn’t blame them for lusting after the man, you’d done the same thing. Your relationship had started in a similar way. You’d knocked on the doors of the FBI with a case back when you were a journalist, and been met with those big brown eyes and it had taken your entire strength to not jump him then and there.

So you understood. But you didn’t have to like it, and you certainly did not. The longer you sat there, the older you felt, constantly resisting the urge to yell at these kids in an old maid's way. Gods he was old enough to be some of these girls’ fathers. You weren’t exactly close in age with him yourself, a gap of about 15 years separating the two of you, but come on.

The door to his office finally cracked open, and you followed the sound of his voice, still rambling out facts as he let the student out.

“Now that you have the difference between stressor and trigger down, you’ll find it easier to interpret some of the readings, just keep in mind that sometimes they can be one and the same.” The student nodded and thanked him before leaving, a slightly disappointed look shadowing her face.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” His smile lit up the second he saw you, and you held out the coffee you’d bought him earlier to him.

“Thought I’d drop in and see you. I missed you.” Maybe it was petty of you in front of literal teenagers and people who couldn’t even legally drink yet, but you wrapped a hand around his waist, underneath his suit jacket, and looked up at him with a big grin, fluttering your eyelashes. He looked at you with knotted eyebrows, trying to decode your words as if they were the key to cracking a case he was working on.

You felt the eyes of the students burning into you, heard them whispering to each other and your grin deepened. You’d marked your territory successfully.

“I’m sorry, I’ve got office hours for the next 25 minutes, do you mind waiting?” He looked apologetically down at you, speaking with a bit of an awkward tone, not used to the notable PDA.

“That’s fine. I can wait out here, right?” You asked, trying to give him your most innocent look. He nodded his assent, and you returned to your seat, grabbing a book from your bag and settling in as he welcomed the next student to his office.

An hour later, all the students had finally dispersed. A fair few of them had given up after you made your identity known, embarrassingly slinking away from the queue, but a fair few had stuck it out, still just wanting a glimpse of him. The conversation had dimmed though, now back on the topic of college parties and TikTok stars or something.

When the final student slipped out of the office, you jumped up enthusiastically and joined Reid inside, letting yourself in with a small knock and a sing-song “professor.”

He was sat at his desk, glasses perched on his nose looking down at some papers, and looking as attractive as he had the day you’d met him. You slunk over to him, swirling his chair around so you could sit on his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing a deep kiss to his lips.

“What’s gotten into you today?” He asked, grabbing your hips and pulling you closer to him, obviously not objecting to the sudden physicality of your affection. “It’s not an anniversary, we’re only on our 1,813th day of dating which doesn’t mark any milestones or other special cultural holidays, so what gives.”

“You know I love it when you talk numbers to me.”

“You know I love it even more when you spill and tell me what’s going on? Come on, Y/N, something’s different.” You pouted at this goddamn superhuman perception. It was going to be embarrassing to admit that you saw the gaggle of girls that had been crowding around his office as competition.

“There were a lot of students today.” You said, simply changing the topic a bit, hoping you wouldn’t have to explicitly name the green-eyed monster that had taken over you.

“Not really, that’s about the amount I get every time I open office hours.”

“Every time?” He’d told you often that you were an absolutely open book, your facial expressions baring your every thought and feeling. So you cursed yourself at the pout you felt forming on your lips.

“Woah, what was that? Y/N, are you… are you jealous?”He laughed a little bit as your frown deepened, a flush coming up to cover your face.

“So what if I am?”

“Have I not been paying enough attention to you, baby?” He trailed his hand up between your thighs and your breath hitched as you felt the tone of the conversation immediately shift.

“They were talking about you, y’know?” your breath hitched at the last word, as his hand found its way to your clit, beginning to press the tiniest of circles around that nerve.

“Oh? What were they saying that made my princess so upset?” The hand gripping your hip was nearly painful now, as he clasped you tightly, letting your legs spread for him as he slowly picked up the pace, your back now flush against his chest as he looked down to between your legs from over your shoulder. Your head was thrown back against him, your chest rising and falling with every small movement.

“They were talking a-about your hands,” you moaned out. His eyes stayed fixed on your center, but his free hand trailed up to your blouse, popping a few buttons expertly so he could see the rise and form of your chest, see your nipples sticking out through the thin bra you’d chosen that morning.

“Hmm, is that it baby? They just talked about these hands?” He continued at his agonizing pace on your clit as his hand lifted to your nipples, pulling one breast free of your bra and beginning to roll it between his fingers. You writhed at the touch, trying desperately to keep quiet, knowing from your time outside just how thin these walls were.

“Baby, I think you didn’t hear me. Was that all they said?” His tone was darker now, and you knew you had to answer before he made you.

“No!” You moaned out, trying to gain back some composure when all you wanted to do was relax into his hands and let him pull your release from you. “They… they said they knew you were big… Down there.” He laughed a little at that and shifted his hips underneath you.

“And are they correct baby?” You feel him pressing against your leg now and it takes everything in you not to let your eyes roll back in pleasure and let him use you as he wants.

“Yes, sir. They were… they were right, you always fill me up so good.” Your hips start grinding down into his, his hand stilling as you use him to get yourself off.

“There’s something else they said, right, baby? You’re holding something back?” He smiled, dropping hot open-mouthed kisses to your neck as you frantically rubbed yourself up against him. Your moans were ripping out from your mouth now in frustrated moans, as you felt needy in a way you’d never quite experienced before.

“Stop teasing, Spencer.”

“No. This is my office, and you come in draping yourself all over me like a whore in front of all of my students. You don’t get to call me Spencer right now, you’re going to have to show a little bit more respect.” With those words he pushed you up to your feet, pulling his hands off of you before quickly clearing a space on the desk and bending you over it.

“I heard this bit. They said they wanted me to bend them over and take them like this, right?” You heard him unzip his pants, bringing the tip of his cock to your entrance as he started teasing you, pulling your panties to the side. You moaned out a yes, but that wasn’t enough for him anymore.

“Use your words, baby. What did they want me to do to them?”

“They wanted you to bend them over the desk and fuck them like a little whore, sir.” With that confession out in the open, he finally pushed into you, stretching you out with a sinful groan slipping from his mouth.

“Fuck baby, so tight and wet for me…” His thrusts were hard and slow, and you could feel the wetness seeping down your legs, the wet sounds of your activity filling the space infinitely. His pace picked up and so did your constant mewls from the contact, the sounds completely unmistakable for anything but base lust.

“You’re so fucking wet for me, sweetheart. Going to come, right here on my cock in my office, huh?”

“Yes, sir, I’m going to…. Shit, I’m going to cum.” He grabbed your hair and pulled your face up to his, swallowing each of your moans with his mouth as he let his tongue explore, your body twitching still under his ministrations. He kept his rough pace up for another minute or two before hitting his peak as well, pulling out to empty himself out on your thighs.

“Shit, Y/N,” he mumbled, falling back into his chair and running a hand through his tousled hair as you fell forward back into the desk, chest heaving. He was at eye level with the results of his labour and you heard the sound of his phone camera clicking before you could pull yourself together.

“Spencer!” You giggled awkwardly, looking back at him with an incredulous look as he pulled some tissues out of the desk drawer and started cleaning you up.

“What? I always take notes during my office hours.” He grinned up at you, as you turned around and planted another kiss to his lips, pulling him back up to you.

“How many students do you think will actually turn up to your class tomorrow?”

“I’ll be lucky if the module actually has any sign-ups next term.”

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid smut #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds smut #Requested #🐺 anon

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beom-pyu · 11 months

Text

lust for life ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ kang taehyun

kang taehyun x fem!reader (choi yeonjun x fem!reader) , tags: non idol au , friends to lovers , one-sided crushes , pining , fluff , nsfw , angst , friend!taehyun , bff!yeonjun , roommate!yeonjun , college au , one-sided crushes , angst , pink-haired taehyun because why not, reader is a little ditzy but you mean well!! , pwp

warnings: smut (minors dni) , cursing , fingering , drinking , service top!taehyun (i need to spread this agenda please hear me out) , unprotected sex (reader is on the pill) , sane and consensual! , car sex (i have an obsession) , reader is going thru it

"in these stolen moments, the world is mine. there's nobody here—just us together. keepin' me hot like july forever."

a/n: hiii it's been a while! i've had this in the drafts for a little bit and i finally finished it yayyyy!! also happy 520+ in just a little over a month??? ily guys with all of my heart :,,,) i hope u enjoy!!! (this has only been proofread once so plz excuse any mistakes!)

wc: 8.17k

you’ve never been a fan of pancakes. in fact, you had even won an online debate about how waffles are the better breakfast food back in middle school on some weird forum site. pancakes are just too starchy, too flimsy, and way too bland. you’d rather eat sand than willingly go out of your way to devour a plate of pancakes.

but as yeonjun hand feeds you a bite of the blueberry pancakes he made for your “friendiversary” (the friendship anniversary that you guys celebrate every year), you decide right then and there that you have become a pancake connoisseur—a devotee… a fanatic, if you will.

you hum in delight, clapping your hands in appreciation as you chew the slice of doughy goodness. yeonjun watches your reaction with hopeful eyes—those fox-like eyes, shining as the daylight from the kitchen window hits his irises, a chocolate brown ring hidden in the center. you think you can get lost in them forever: the way they bunch up when he smiles widely, the way his eyelashes frame them beautifully, the way they seem to display any and every emotion he feels. those captivating, enchanting eyes.

“does it taste okay?” yeonjun asks, his soft voice snapping you back into reality. you’re nodding quickly before you even realize it, giving him two thumbs up as you swallow the food.

“i didn’t know you were a pancake expert,” you joke, picking up your own fork to grab a strawberry off of your plate. yeonjun shakes his head with a faint smile, pushing around the food on his plate as he watches you eat.

“i just threw some things together. guess i’m just a natural, huh?” his voice is filled with feign cockiness and you find yourself giggling at the way he leans back in his seat with his arms behind his head like some 90s chick-flick jock.

he looks especially good today—you don’t know if it’s just the warm feelings surrounding your friendiversary, or if it’s the way the sun rays frame his figure, creating a halo effect around his body. he’s perfect in your eyes; his black hair falls beautifully around his face, and his cheeks are naturally flushed pink from the warm air of your shared apartment. his lips are glossy with some syrup residue and you wish for nothing more than to kiss it off of him, tasting the sweetness of his mouth as your hands find their way to his—

“—ift today, so i have to go in. i’m really sorry, y/n.”

you blink, tilting your head a bit as you rip your attention from his lips. “sorry, what did you say?”

yeonjun sighs with a small, apologetic smile, bouncing his fork in his hands. “there was no one who could cover my shift for our friendiversary, so i still have to work today.”

his voice is filled with so much guilt, and despite the deep disappointment you feel in your chest, you don’t want to make him feel any worse. he doesn’t deserve to feel that way. you guys have celebrated your friendiversary every single year for the past decade and a half. from visiting the aquarium in sixth grade, to go-karting in ninth, to climbing onto the rooftop of your apartment complex to stargaze last year; you guys have done it all. there’s nothing wrong with cutting one short, right?

“oh, that’s okay! i… i still have some cramming i need to do, so that’ll definitely keep me busy.” you wave your hand to dismiss him with a small smile before quickly spooning another strawberry into your mouth to cover up the falter of your lips. yeonjun’s shoulders untense with relief, nudging your foot under the table—the action is quick to summon butterflies in your stomach, a small warmth rising to your face from the short contact.

“i promise i’ll make it up to you, okay?” and any hint of dismay in your body dissipates with the lopsided smile he sends your way, too distracted by the fluttery stuttering of your heart and the way those eyes glimmer in the morning sunlight.

“i’m going to die.”

“you’re not going to die.”

“yes, i am. i’m going to die and it’ll be all your fault.”

taehyun deadpans you as you dramatically drape yourself across the library table, whining with your cheek pressed against the cool wood. today was supposed to be your friendiversary, and now here you are, face to face with your friend (and calculus tutor) in your stuffy campus library.

you mentally curse the current recession—yeonjun could’ve had the day off to cuddle and watch movies with you, but now he’s holed up in a dumb, understaffed clothing store.

on top of it all, calculus seems to always have the ability to literally melt your brain through your ears, feeling yourself growing more and more delirious with every number and formula you write down. there’s a reason why you’re an english major.

taehyun simply watches you throw your contained fit, his demeanor blank with the slightest hint of amusement—he’s definitely used to it by now. with one final huff, you lift your head up, grabbing your pencil with vigor as you straighten your back.

“okay, let’s do this.”

a tiny puff of laughter fills the space around you as taehyun’s lips quirk up at your immediate change of pace, his eyebrows raised with entertainment.

“you sure you don’t need another minute?” he teases you with a sly smile and you give him a tiny glare in return.

“not everyone is a mathematical nerd like you, kang,” you retort, but the words are light and airy—it’s easy to banter with taehyun. you’ve known him since your freshman year, meeting him by chance at this exact library during exam season. you approached him first—he had on a t-shirt of a band you like a little too much and with your extroverted nature, you cracked through his shell quickly.

you two would be complete opposites if it weren’t for the fact that you have so much in common with each other. he’s like the less talkative, “critically thinking”’version of you—he balances you out perfectly and you’re incredibly thankful to have a friend like him. he’s always open to listen to your rambling, help you out when you’re struggling in one of your classes, and provide silent company when you don’t want to be alone.

you’re especially grateful that he willingly offered to help you prepare for your upcoming exams, knowing how scatterbrained you get when it comes to studying—and by the time it hits 5 p.m, you’re officially burnt out, unable to intake any more explanations of radians and whatnot.

taehyun notices your attention drifting as you chew on the end of your pen, a tiny and fond smile falling onto his face.

“how about we call it a day?” taehyun asks as he closes his textbook. you immediately brighten up, nodding aggressively—taehyun quietly laughs at your enthusiasm.

“wanna get something to eat? i think i’m actually going to die after all of this now.” you motion to the mess of paper and notes in front of you, hearing taehyun hum in agreement. you pack up quickly as you randomly stuff your papers into their proper (see: random) folders, ready to get some food in your stomach as you tell taehyun about this new show you’ve started watching. he listens intently, nodding along to your breakdown of the plot—you speak way too fast for anything to be even the slightest bit comprehensible, but your eagerness makes up for any lost translations.

the air is warm on your skin when you exit the library, soaking up the heat as you fall into step with taehyun next to you. as brutal as finals season is on you, it does leave one positive in your mind—summer is coming.

you had planned a trip with yeonjun to your hometown for the first few weeks of summer—just the two of you with no distractions of work and assignments. alone. together. you were going to confess during this trip; you had promised yourself that you wouldn’t chicken out this time. you have liked yeonjun for years, ever since middle school, but you’ve been too afraid of losing him to actually tell him the truth about your feelings—but this is it. this will be the summer you tell him everything. you beam at the thought, already feeling giddy at just the idea.

“watcha thinking about?”

taehyun’s inquisitive voice enters your ears and you turn your head to look over at him. he’s already watching you, his big eyes focused on the goofy smile on your face. your neck heats up with embarrassment at the prospect of being caught daydreaming about your best friend, shaking your head.

“nothing, really. i just love when the sun’s out,” you speak, looking up to the clear sky as you silently applaud yourself for that on-the-spot excuse. you can still feel taehyun’s eyes on your face, but you brush it off as your phone rings in your hand.

you look down at the caller i.d., your heart jumping at the giant display of letters that spell out “junnie bug”. his contact photo takes up your entire screen and you’re sure taehyun sees it as well—it’s a selfie yeonjun took when he used one of your hello kitty headbands to wash his face, his lips puckered up in a kissy face with a v by his eyes, winking at the camera. god, he’s so cute.

quick to answer the phone, you press the device to your ear with a small smile on your lips, muttering out a quiet hello.

“hey, where are you right now?”

you scan the area, realizing you’re closing in on one of the campus restaurants, one you and yeonjun frequent weekly.

“i’m about to grab dinner. why?” the line is quiet for a beat as you hear some shuffling and jingling before yeonjun finally responds.

“i got off early! come eat with me. i brought your favorite~” yeonjun sing-songs through the speaker of your phone. you pout a bit, glancing up at taehyun whose hands are shoved in his pocket as he looks off into the distance, giving you privacy to speak.

“i’m actually with taehyun right now…”

yeonjun makes a small, whiny sound, quick to intervene. “but it’s our friendiversary! plus, i have something i’ve been waiting to tell you.”

your heart stops in your chest for a moment as the words reach your ears, feeling the world around you slow down.

yeonjun has something to tell you.

he has something he's been waiting to tell you.

you try not to overthink it, but you can’t stop the conclusion from jumping into your head.

he’s going to confess. he’s going to confess!

you bite back a small squeal as you gain your composure, your eyes flickering over to taehyun once again. he’s a few steps behind you and you already feel bad for what you’re about to do—but yeonjun has something to tell you and your best friend always comes first.

(especially when he’s going to confess to you!)

“okay, i’ll be there soon! love you, junnie.”

“love you too. see you in a bit.”

and then the line goes silent. you try to hide your wide grin as you turn on your heel towards taehyun who stops in his tracks, his head cocking to the side at your excited demeanor.

“hey, can we make a reign check? i’m really sorry,” you pout as you speak, but taehyun doesn’t seem fazed in the slightest, nodding his head.

“yea, that’s okay. seems like you have somewhere important to be.” the small smile he gives you seems a little forced, but you’re too blinded by the excitement pooling in your gut to linger on it. you make a small happy noise, reaching out to pat taehyun’s arm softly.

“i’ll pay for dinner next time—pinky promise.” you hold out your pinky and taehyun’s eyes follow your hand, smiling a bit at the action.

“what, are we twelve?” he teases and you huff, gently jabbing your pinky into his arm.

“pinky promises are the ultimate form of trust and commitment!” you declare with a self-assured nod. taehyun hesitates for a moment as he gives you an unreadable look before his warm pinky hooks onto yours, your thumbs pressing together in a silent seal.

“thank you, kind sir,” you say in a horrible british accent and the corners of taehyun’s eyes crinkle in that darling way they do when he smiles. “i’ll see you tomorrow. bye, bye!”

if taehyun watches your figure retreat until you’ve disappeared around the corner of the communications building, and a short while after you’re already gone—well, that’s for only him to know.

you’re nervous, you realize as you wipe your sweaty palms on your skirt, taking in a deep breath as you stand outside of your apartment. one would think you’d be prepared for this, considering how many sleepless nights you’ve tossed and turned imagining this exact moment. the exact moment when yeonjun tells you, to your face, that he has been in love with you for years—and you would confirm that you feel the same way, and all would be well and dandy and you’d finally be able to breathe.

but your breath gets caught in your lungs the moment you see yeonjun sitting on the couch with a movie paused on the screen, all of your favored dishes from your favorite takeout place laid out in an array on the glass coffee table in the middle of the living room. time moves in slow motion when his head turns towards you as you walk through the front door, those butterflies making their way back to your belly the moment his eyes lock onto yours.

he’s always so gorgeous—even after being on his feet for hours due to his long shift, he still manages to look positively effortless. his plush lips are slightly parted in a wide smile as he beckons you over, his hair bouncing on his forehead at the movement. he’s shining, the sunset casting a wonderful glow over the living room, making his pristine skin look even more angelic than it usually does.

you’re in love. you’re absolutely, absolutely enamored with the man in front of you.

it’s like a scene in a movie as you take a seat on the couch next to him, his arm coming to rest over your shoulders, pulling you into a tight side hug and… oh goodness, he smells so amazing. he’s had the same signature scent for years—a sweet grapefruit with hints of cedar and black currant. intoxicating, alluring. you subtly inhale as you bury your face in his shoulder, letting yourself bask in his warmth. his comfort.

you feel his body rumble with quiet laughter at the way you cling to him, his free hand coming up to pinch your cheek fondly.

“hello to you too,” he speaks and you pop your head up to smile at him.

“i missed you. i think i lost half of my sanity after that study session,” you mumble as you pull your knees up to your chest, pressing yourself closer to yeonjun’s side.

“wasn’t taehyun there to help, though?” yeonjun questions as he massages the back of your neck. you hum in response, your eyes slipping shut as your body relaxes.

“he’s the only reason i didn’t actually go insane,” you groan and yeonjun laughs a bit at your theatrics. “but enough of that. it’s friendiversary time!”

you try to ignore the anticipation bubbling in your chest as the night goes on. yeonjun seems to have pushed the “something” he’s been “waiting” to tell you to the back burner of his mind, laughing and joking around as per usual as some corny 2000s chick flick plays on the t.v. screen. you’re painfully aware though, your eyes glancing over at him during every bout of prolonged silence, trying to egg him on with subtle words—and by the time the movie finally ends, you think he’s forgotten completely.

but then he turns his body towards you, and if you weren’t already hyperfocused on his entire presence, you would’ve missed the way he takes a subtle deep breath, silently preparing himself for whatever he’s about to tell you. naturally, your body faces him as well, your hands in your lap as you dismiss the rapid pounding of your heart in your chest.

it’s finally happening.

yeonjun cracks a small smile to break the growing tension in the room and you swoon at the way his cheeks bunch up in that adorable way they do.

“soooo,” he starts and you can’t help but to smile a bit at his unusually awkward demeanor—choi yeonjun, you’re choi yeonjun, is actually nervous right now. something about it makes you feel a little fluttery; just the sight of his face reddening makes your stomach flip. he’s so cute.

“soooo…?” you echo, nudging his knee with yours. he chuckles a bit, one of his hands coming up to rub the back of his neck.

“remember how i said there’s something i’ve been waiting to tell you?” he speaks slowly as if he’s thinking of every word he says before they exit his mouth. you nod, trying to hide your growing grin. “so, um…”

this is it. this is it. your days of pining are finally over. you’ll be able to kiss, hug, and love yeonjun all you want, as loudly as you want. you’ll finally be his.

“i think i’m going to throw up from the suspense,” you blurt out and your words help to lighten the mood, yeonjun laughing again as his hand drops back down to his lap.

“i guess i’ll just say it then,” he inhales once before his next sentence tumbles off of his lips like an avalanche, destroying your world with every passing millisecond. you’re dunked underwater as your breath hitches in your throat, your hearing muffled as you watch yeonjun’s lips move, but none of it reaches your ears.

you can’t think. you don’t want to think. it’s all too sudden and you feel your hands tremble slightly in your lap as yeonjun’s eyes fill with adoration as he talks about the girl from his fashion department.

“we’re official. me and eunbin… we’re dating.”

he’s so happy as he lulls on about the exact moment everything happened; the way her eyes lit up, the way she jumped into his arms, the way she kissed him on the lips. how she’s so smart and mature. how she’s beautiful and confident and charming in every way. how she’s exactly what he needs at this point in his life.

how she isn’t you.

you have always kind of been aware of the fact that the girl had a crush on yeonjun. she’d always be by his side walking through campus, hanging off his arm like a koala, overly affectionate with skinship. but yeonjun was friendly too, and he’s touchy with all of his friends—it’s his love language. you’ve never thought too much of it seeing as yeonjun always returns home to you. cuddling you at night when you can’t sleep. cooking you breakfast and dinner almost every day. matching outfits with you. staying up late to talk with you.

you were just too stupid—too naive… too blinded by your own infatuation with the man to realize that his eyes weren’t set on you this entire time. you were just his comfort. his roommate. his best friend. and nothing more.

you aren’t sure if you’re still present in your body—it feels as if you’re watching the entire scene from afar, somewhere high up in the clouds. away from yeonjun. away from yourself.

you want to cry, already feeling a lump form in your throat as your waterline burns with tears, but yeonjun’s smile is the widest you’ve seen it be in a while, and those eyes… those same eyes you’ve found yourself getting lost in one too many times… they’re so big and bright tonight as he rambles on about this girl. this girl who is everything you’re not.

it feels as if your heart shrivels up and falls into your stomach right then, fighting to make a smile form on your trembling lips. you want to be joyful for your best friend—you really do—but it just hurts so, so much and you’re about to break at any second.

“i’m so happy for you, junnie,” you mumble out quietly, positive that if you speak any louder, your voice will crack and give it all away. yeonjun directs that endearing smile your way and you feel your heart break even more.

“thank you, y/n. you’re… you’re the first person i’ve told so i was a little nervous. thank you, really.” yeonjun lets out a sigh of relief as he pulls you into a hug. it should’ve been warm and cherished, filling you with nothing but precious feelings—but you can’t help that ice-cold feeling that washes over you as you inhale his citrusy cologne, patting his back with a shaky hand. when he pulls away, he has this little dazed smile on his face—he’s definitely thinking about her—and your gut churns with the ickiest feeling you’ve ever felt.

“you know it’s hard for me to open up to people,” he continues, and you aren’t sure how much longer you can sit here while holding in your tears. “but with her, it’s just like… it’s so natural and easy. she reminds me of you, actually. she always understands me in the way that you do.”

no, she doesn’t.

“i’m glad,” you mutter out and he doesn’t even process your short response, too busy lost in thought as he smiles down at his lap.

you can’t. you can’t.

“‘m gonna go to the bathroom,” you speak, standing before he even acknowledges your words. your tears are already falling down your cheeks as soon as you turn your back to him, your legs moving quicker than the speed of light as you shut the bathroom door behind you, letting it all rush out.

you muffle your quick breathing with the sleeve of your sweater so yeonjun can’t hear—you don’t want to ruin this moment for him. he’s still your best friend, and he deserves all of the happiness in the world. but you’re selfish and your heart hurts a little too much; all of those years of pining and chasing…

this truly sucks.

you don’t know how long you sit in there, but it must’ve been long enough for yeonjun to become worried seeing as a knock soon sounds from the door.

“y/n, you okay?”

you quickly pat your cheeks dry with your palm, nodding your head before remembering he can’t see you from the other side of the wall.

“yeah, ‘m just getting ready for bed!” you call out, cringing slightly at your hoarse voice. hearing an affirmative hum from yeonjun in the hallway, you turn on the sink to wash the tear tracks from your face.

now this is definitely a friendiversary to remember.

taehyun has always had a knack for being incredibly perceptive—you like to call it his “kitty senses”, the way his nose twitches cutely when he spots something in the distance, or the way he perks up when he hears something interesting. he always seems to be aware of the space and those around him, noticing the little things, and paying close attention to detail. maybe that’s the reason why he blinks so little; he’s always keeping an eye out for the minuscule things people usually overlook.

so when your laugh isn’t quite as full as it usually is, and your smile doesn’t fully reach your eyes, and your fingers keep fidgeting with the zipper of your jacket—taehyun knows something is up.

it’s not like you’re not trying to hide it. you had made sure to put on extra concealer that morning to hide your sleepy eyes from your lack of sleep, which is useless because already sure you’ll be crying it off by the end of the day. you try to joke around with taehyun as usual, but you can’t seem to stop your mind from drifting.

it hurts—it hurts so bad, and as much as you wish to just accept reality and move on, some part of you still wants to believe that this is all a dream. some horrible, horrible joke the universe decided to play on you. you just want it to all be over.

taehyun’s over at your place today. yeonjun has work until 6 and you really don’t think you can bring yourself to leave the dark, brooding coven that has become your bedroom, so you came up with a flimsy excuse of the library being too hot to study in today.

“let’s take a break,” taehyun’s voice sounds from your desk, successfully making you look up from where you’re laid stomach down on your bed. in all honesty, you’ve been repeatedly reading the same sentence for the past ten minutes, drawing the conclusion that you’re definitely not going to get anything done today.

you sigh with a small nod, moving to sit crisscross as you shut your laptop, feeling your shoulders slump. taehyun’s watching you—you can feel his eyes follow your movement as you move your laptop to your bedside table, your lips adorning a permanent frown.

you don’t even bother to check your phone as you flop backward onto your bed; it’s not yeonjun’s fault that you feel this way—you know that. he’s not responsible for the way your stomach swoops when he smiles, or the way your skin tingles when his hand lingers on your face for a little too long. it’s your fault for jumping to conclusions, for seeing everything through rose-tinted glasses.

it’s your fault for falling for him so hard.

and here comes that feeling again; that lump in your throat, the churning of your insides, the sting behind your eyes. too caught up in your own thoughts, you don’t process the dip in your bed as taehyun takes a seat next to you.

“are you alright?”

his voice is oh so soft as you turn your head to look at him—those big eyes scan over your body as he tries to read what’s wrong, seeing his kitty senses working a thousand miles a second. you catch the way his fingers twitch as if he wants to touch you, but his body is stiff with uncertainty.

you almost want to cry simply at the way he so obviously cares, his brows knit together, eyes searching yours for an answer you aren’t giving him. he’s lovely, you render, as you scoot over to give him some space to slip in next to you as you curl up to his side. it’s nothing new; you’re used to sharing a bed with taehyun to get in quick power naps during cramming, or to scroll through your phones in silence, just enjoying each other’s company.

but something feels different this time as he wraps his arm around you, his fingers tickling your arm. your head rests on his shoulder while your index finger draws random patterns on his chest, his black t-shirt bunching and scrunching up with the movement. it’s quiet as he strokes your arm, the pads of his fingers making goosebumps rise to your sensitive skin. you don’t realize how bad you need this—the warmth of his body is so nice and you can already feel your walls coming down as you sniffle, a few tears escaping your eyes.

“‘m gonna get your shirt all wet,” you mumble, and taehyun just laughs a bit, resting his head on top of yours.

“i don’t mind,” he replies quietly and you immediately break, the dam collapsing as your tears soak into his shirt, accepting all of the untamed emotions running wild inside of your body. taehyun holds you silently and gently, his thumb brushing over your skin in an attempt at solace.

heartbreak is a weird, weird thing. it feels like you’re yearning for something that you know you’ll never have. craving the touch of someone you’ll never be able to hug and kiss and love in the way you want to. you don’t believe you’ve ever felt anything like this before.

so you let yourself cry, and cry, and cry as taehyun nuzzles his cheek into your hair—a silent reminder that he’s still right here next to you.

he doesn’t ask any questions, and in a way, you’re thankful for that. what would you even say? your bestfriend broke your heart even though you guys were never together in the first place? it sounds ridiculous in any way you can think of wording it, so you bask in the silence as you let everything out.

by the time your tears slow down, your fingers are clenching the front of taehyun’s shirt like a lifeline… and he lets you hold onto him for as long as you need. you don’t know what you have ever done to deserve a friend like him. always ready to catch you when you fall, giving reassurance when you need it, and always prepared to lend a helping hand.

you find yourself lifting your head to find taehyun’s eyes already on you, his hand slipping from your arm to your waist at your movement. his eyes are clouded with apprehension, and you’re sure you look an absolute mess right now with your swollen eyes and tear-stained skin. but there is something left unsaid in the air as your eyes trail down to his pink lips; his hand grips your waist a little tighter, his big eyes flickering quickly between yours.

his eyes are different than yeonjun’s—while yeonjun’s are filled with memories of home and familiarity, taehyun’s are present and swirling with unadulterated want. he wants to be here with you.

everything is muted save for your air conditioning, the quiet hum from the fan of taehyun’s laptop sitting on your desk, and the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears.

you shouldn’t do it. you know this is a bad, bad, bad idea. you’re still not over yeonjun—you’re not ready to move on yet. but that feeling of heartbreak and pure longing wraps around your brain and you just need something, someone to make it all pause. the feeling of taehyun’s hand on your waist is grounding as his thumb brushes over your your clothed skin, his dark brown irises still fixated on you, waiting. and waiting. and waiting.

your lips are on his before you can give anything another thought.

he kisses you as delicately as he holds you, giving you the lead, and allowing you to take whatever you want from him. his lips are incredibly soft—you taste his vanilla and peppermint chapstick on your tongue, getting lost in the slightly tingly sensation. your mind is hazy as your hand trails up from his chest to the side of his neck, feeling his pulse under the pads of your fingers, pressing closer to him to deepen the kiss.

his tongue swipes across your bottom lip in silent permission and you gladly give in, parting your lips for him. a quiet moan slips out as his free hand tugs your thigh over his waist, moving you to straddle him. his body is firm and sturdy underneath you, your hands falling to his shoulders as you steady yourself.

it should end here… it really should—but then taehyun tilts his head and takes your bottom lip in between his teeth and his hands are so heavy and pleasant on your waist and you’re reminded of citrus and home and…

he pulls away slowly, his chest rising and falling quickly as he stares up at your figure.

“y/n…”

his breathy voice quickly makes you come to your senses.

guilt overrides your body as you realize—you just took advantage of your friend’s kindness and company, all because of your own stupid feelings. a grave emotion washes over you as you shake your head, quickly moving off of his body as taehyun sits up.

because only then does it dawn on you that you were pretending taehyun’s lips were yeonjun’s.

“hey, hey, it’s okay—”

“no, i can’t—fuck, i’m so sorry, taehyun,” you spill out as you climb off of him, creating distance between the two of you, unable to meet his hurt eyes. you don’t want to cry again, but the stinging behind your eyes comes back in full force. the shame is too much; taehyun is so kind and you just—you used him for temporary validation. “you should… you should go.”

taehyun is silent and you see him nod in the peripheral of your vision, lingering for a second before he slips off of your bed. he’s quiet and quick as he collects his things, and your eyes only watch his figure once his back is turned toward you. you try to pretend you don’t notice the weighted gaze he gives you before leaving.

it’ll give you one less thing to cry about tonight.

you need another drink.

the slight buzz in your body is not enough to blur out the sight in front of you as you lean against the wall holding a plastic cup tightly in your hand. you’ve never really had a problem with pda—if couples want to show their admiration for each other in public, then so be it. it isn’t any of your business, truly.

but now, your stomach seems to lurch as you watch eunbin kiss up yeonjun’s neck, sitting prettily in his lap on the living room couch as yeonjun smiles that perfect smile at something she whispers in his ear. theoretically, you can simply look away, or walk away, even—but your feet stay planted where they are as your hands shake slightly.

you aren’t sure how long heartbreak is supposed to linger, or how long it should take before you stop thinking about how that could’ve been you… should’ve been you. jealousy is one hell of an emotion, and you try your absolute best to keep it at bay; yeonjun owes you nothing, but the spite eats away at you as you bring your nearly empty drink back up to your lips.

a body shuffles up next to you, but you don’t pay them any mind, your ears ringing with the pulse of the music reverberating through the walls. you’re definitely not drunk enough to enjoy the atmosphere, too hyperfocused on the way yeonjun’s head tips back in a hearty laugh as eunbin swats at his chest playfully.

“you look like you need some air.”

your head whips to the side at the words, coming face-to-face with taehyun, his eyes holding a type of intensity you’ve never seen before. a dejected laugh leaves your lips as you tilt your head back, nodding slightly in response.

“yeah, i probably do.”

taehyun’s hand is slipping into yours before you can even process his grip, tugging you towards the front door of the house. there aren’t too many people in the front yard—just a small group passing a blunt on the porch, someone in an intense argument on the phone, and a few people loitering by their cars.

you follow taehyun to the steps of the porch, taking a seat on the cement. it’s dark out, but the air is still slightly humid, making your skin feel sticky and warm. taehyun’s hand is still in yours as you scoot closer to him to allow some people to walk up the other half of the steps, your thigh pressing against his.

he’s silent as he looks ahead, and you can feel tension filling in the space around you both. it’s been a couple of weeks since you two have spoken—you’ve felt too guilty to face him after that kiss, but now you find yourself looking over at his figure. maybe the alcohol is working better than you thought.

his brows are slightly furrowed, one of his legs bouncing up and down incessantly. the low glow of the porch light illuminates him in a way that makes it impossible to look away, your eyes trailing from his cat-like eyes, to the slope of his nose, to his soft lips.

his soft lips.

you rip your eyes away from them. you aren’t going to make the same mistake twice.

“y/n, did i do something wrong?” taehyun questions quietly, his eyes finally landing on your face. there’s something cloudy and uncertain behind them, something that you can’t quite put a name to.

“no, taehyun, you didn’t—it’s not your fault. i’m just…” you sigh, your gaze focusing on the way his thumb brushes over the back of your hand. “there’s a lot on my mind right now.”

taehyun nods slowly, turning his head away from you again.

“is there anything i can do to help?”

he doesn’t mention the kiss. he doesn’t mention the way you’ve practically been avoiding his existence.

you don’t know if it’s your tipsy state, or if it’s the way his body heat radiates onto you or the way his eyes flicker back up to yours when you’re quiet for a second—but then you catch the way they travel down to your lips and you’re in the backseat of his car in the blink of an eye.

it’s warm, too warm, as you straddle his lap, your hands tangled into his hair as he kisses down your neck, hands on your hips to steady you. you don’t want to think anymore—you don’t want to hang onto something you’ll never have.

so you let taehyun distract you at this moment.

“you can use me however you’d like,” he breathes out heavily as your hands come to rest on his chest. “use me to get over him.”

your body stiffens as the words slip out of his mouth, meeting his eyes in the darkness of the car.

“how… how did you…?” your voice is breathless as you trail off, the corners of his lips quirking up into a sad smile.

“i’ve always noticed the way you look at him, y/n.”

your eyes are unfocused in the low light as you gaze at taehyun’s state, his pupils blown wide in the darkness of the car, only a side of his face lit up golden from the street lights outside. his lips are bright pink and bitten raw, his fading pink hair messy and falling onto his forehead in fluffy waves. he’s always been gorgeous, a fact you could never deny, but in this moment, he looks absolutely unreal.

sudden guilt fills your chest at the thought, shaking your head quickly.

“i can’t do that to you, taehyun,” you replied weakly. he’s shaking his head now, his big hand coming up to cup your cheek, thumb brushing your soft skin delicately.

“i want you to. i hate seeing you like this,” his hand drops down to cover one of yours, feeling his chest rise and fall under your palm. “i’ll do anything you want me to, y/n. you just have to say the words.”

his voice is low and faint, gazing at you with his pretty brown eyes. they flicker in between yours, trying to read the emotions on your face in the limited light. you nibble on your lip as you feel his rapid heartbeat through his shirt, your mind scattered and dizzy.

“please. let me help you.”

a hot flash courses through your body at the pure desperation in his voice—and something in you snaps at that exact moment, your lips crashing onto his vanilla and peppermint ones. the kiss is messy and feverish as your hands run up and down his torso, teeth clashing with the vehemence of it all. you feel his hands drop to your hips, holding you down onto him as his tongue explores your mouth, running across your teeth, swiping across your lips. he tastes like cheap liquor, and you’re sure you do too, but it doesn’t matter at this moment.

you press down on him, your hands running over his toned stomach, up to his pecs, over his shoulders; anything you can reach. you shut your mind off, not letting yourself focus on anything other than taehyun taehyun taehyun taehyun.

he’s moving you, you realize as your back presses against the cool leather of his back seat. he doesn’t break the kiss once as he hovers over you, hiking your skirt up to run his hand up your leg, running his nails over the sensitive skin of your thigh. you allow your legs to fall open so he can comfortably slot himself in between them, feeling his bulge press against your pulsing core just right.

a faint gasp leaves your lips as he grinds against your clothed cunt, already feeling yourself leaking through the thin fabric. one of your legs wraps around him to pull him even closer to you, drowning out all of your senses with the scent of his cologne, his hair tickling your cheek as he kisses down your neck. his hand leaves your thigh to slip under your top before his fingers dance over your stomach, brushing over your bra—admiring every inch of you as you arch up into his touch.

“tell me what you want, baby,” he pants against your neck, nipping the flesh there. you stifle a moan as his fingers brush over the wet spot on your panties. “come on, use your words.”

“i want… fuck—i want your fingers in me.”

he’s quick to obey, pushing your panties to the side to rub his middle finger up and down your dripping slit, a low groan leaving his lips as your hand finds its way to his hair, tugging at the pink strands to hurry him up.

you moan softly as he slips his first finger in, curling it upwards as he pumps in and out of your clenching hole. the car is filled with the sounds of your soaked cunt, his heavy pants, and your moans as he finger fucks you, slipping in another two easily with how wet you are. his fingers are incredibly long and slender, reaching parts of you that you’ve never been able to hit by yourself.

when his lips find yours again, it’s much slower, his fingers matching the restrained pace as he kisses you deeply, devouring all of your little noises. your hips buck up as his thumb rubs circles onto your swollen clit, your fingers tightening in his hair.

he seems to be in no rush as he takes you apart slowly, hitting that spot inside of you perfectly as you leak onto his seat, body shaking with pleasure. there’s a small smile resting on his lips when he pulls back to peer down at you, taking in the way your lips part and your brows furrow as he speeds up, pressing down on your clit just right.

you can’t control the noises leaving your lips as you grind onto his hand, chasing your high as he pumps into you. his actions don’t slow down when he moves up to capture your lips again, curling his fingers inside of you as his thumb rubs your clit. you grab his biceps, needing something to ground you as you feel your impending orgasm rushing upon you.

“taehyun—fuck, ‘m cumming…”

he swallows all of your moans as you tip over the edge, your back arching up into his hold as white fills your vision. you can hear the gentle praise leaving his lips through the ringing of your ears, your body left feeling fuzzy and warm as his fingers slow before gradually pulling out of your sensitive hole.

“so good for me,” he mutters against your lips, his own traveling down your jaw. you feel dizzy as you catch your breath, leaning into his touch.

“i need you,” you mumble as he lifts his head to catch your gaze. he looks completely enamored, his big eyes glossy, reflecting the light from the street lamps outside. “i need you in me. fuck me, taehyun.”

he smiles before sitting back to undo his pants. “anything you want, baby.”

it’s all a blur as he’s back on top of you again, his length hard and throbbing against his stomach as he captures your lips again. his hands roam every piece of your skin he can touch, sucking marks onto your collarbone. claiming you.

you reach down to grab his heavy dick in your hand, stroking him a few times. he sighs lowly in your ear, whispering praise and encouragement that just turns you on even more. it’s hard to be patient when taehyun is bucking up into your hand, your mind clouding up by his hot tongue trailing over your skin. he seems to sense your urgency, placing one last kiss on your lips before lining up with your entrance.

“i’ve got you,” he whispers as if his voice was only made for you to hear. you nod quickly, wrapping your arms around his neck as he presses his forehead against yours. the heat radiating from his body manages to make your clothed, scorching skin even warmer, moaning out softly once you feel him push into you. his eyes flutter shut as you clench around him. “fuck—you feel so good.”

you bite your lip to keep quiet as he slowly thrusts into you, wrapping your other leg around his waist as if it would bring you impossibly closer to him. your fingers tangle gently in his hair, tugging slightly in a way that drives him absolutely crazy.

soft grunts leave his lips once he speeds up, the sound of skin on skin drowning out the muffled music in the distance. your eyes are half-lidded as you strain to keep them open, wanting to watch the way his jaw clenches and his brows furrow. it’s all too much as you take in the fluttery tickles of his lips on your cheek and jaw, the way he stretches you out with his thick cock, the way his hands tightly grip onto your waist as if you could disappear at any moment.

every thrust into your heat makes your stomach flip with pleasure, getting lost in the feeling of his hips snapping against yours perfectly. he kisses you once more before he leans back, hands slipping down your hips to fuck you even harder, the car rocking with his strokes. you can’t control your sounds anymore, getting closer and closer to the edge with every move. you can tell he’s getting close too by the way his rhythm falters — his grip on you is tight, and you know there would be marks to cover up by the morning.

“‘m so close,” you squeak out as he intertwines one of your hands, his other forearm resting by your head to lean down to kiss your lips again.

“me too, baby,” he speaks against your lips, his hips stuttering. “you’re so perfect, y/n, fuck.”

you can already feel your high crashing upon you with one last stroke, your own whimpers falling deaf to your ears as his words tip you over the edge. your body buzzes with electricity as you clench around him, feeling him pump his thick ropes of cum into you at the action, his moans high and breathy in your ear as you cum together.

it takes you a second to come back to your surroundings, blinking your eyes open to see taehyun watching you, silently stroking your hair. he’s still nestled inside of you, but you don’t really mind. he leans down to capture your lips again—it’s passionate and unrushed as he tries to convey every single emotion he’s feeling, his hands coming up to cradle your face.

you can’t think of anything other than the way your heart flutters as he breaks the kiss to rest his forehead against yours, his breathing still uneven as his eyes open to gaze into yours.

“thank you,” you whisper, your stomach swooping as he smiles, that dimple on his right cheek peeking out in the darkness.

“don’t thank me,” and his voice is dripping with so much sincerity, you find yourself unable to look away from his eyes, your hand coming up to rest on top of his. with a small giggle, you glance down at your intertwined bodies.

“i think we should clean up,” you speak light-heartedly as your nose brushes taehyun’s, and he lets out a small puff of laughter, nodding in agreement.

you don’t know what any of this means anymore—how your heart flutters at the way taehyun gently cleans you up before pulling you back in his lap to kiss you silly, how he drives you home, walking you up to your door with your fingers interlaced with his. how you linger for a moment, not wanting to leave his side so soon even though you can barely keep your eyes open long enough to unlock the front door.

but all you know is that yeonjun doesn’t cross your mind again for the rest of the night.

reblogs are very much appreciated!

masterlist

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onyourhyuck · 9 months

Text

Popular. | N.JM | PART 1

— Prologue: “Who’s the new girl?” + “Jaemin. Don’t tell me you are already harassing the new girl?”

— Summary: Revenge becomes love? Old faces become new faces? Where you enroll back to your old school where you got bullied, to get revenge on Na Jaemin but he cannot recognise you.

— Genre: Popularboy!najaemin x goodgirl!y/n. Revenge plot with romance and smut. Mention of bullying. Plot twists. Very sensitive subjects no minors. School sex(?) exhibition. Jaemin’s obsessed with y/n. Enemies to lovers (kinda)

— Notes: Popular - The Series Masterlist.

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The old faces become new faces, but to you they will always be the same. You see you’re enrolling back to a school you swore to never become back to but you made a long life promise that you will come back as a different person. And you did. You levelled up while everyone else stayed and stood the same. You’re a new person. New you. New chapter. No one can recognise you because you poured all the blood sweats and tears into your new self and new life to come back and show them what they’re missing out on. All you ever wanted was to be popular.

You wanted to be liked. You wanted to be invited to things, the things you craved back then are only getting more and more intense. You would’ve done anything to have what the popular kids have, to experience getting love and compliments. You wanted to be mainstream, you wanted to be viral. The attention they got was unfair because you never once had it back then. But now it’s different. You’re the new girl. No one recognises you.

At least you hope someone does recognise you so you can shove it in their face how brand new you look with all the hard work and suffering you had to go through.

Walking down those school hallways was something haunting. You feel like you’re back at the very start of hell that you had to deal with all those years, but now the looks on people’s faces weren’t facing you but giving you surprise glances. They have a new girl enrolling?

The boy on the side wearing a red hoodie with a white shirt underneath and a pair of denim jeans was caught off guard by the beautiful peach scent running from his nostrils, glaring up wondering where it was coming from, he saw an unfamiliar figure walking in front. Wearing a loose white sweater over a collared shirt buttoned up. The flowyness of the black skirt fluttering from each step she took with her legs. It just makes him stand there, mesmerised and also, thinking who was that?

The boy nudged his friend who closed the locker with a gentle slam. “Hey Sungchan,” He spoke with the inability to look away but make his friend watch the person he became someone so infatuated with. “Who’s the new girl?”

The taller boy, Sungchan, also his best friend despite being a year younger looks over at the girl he pointed at and a long-long face was expressed on him. “Jaemin. Don’t tell me you are already harassing the new girl?” Sungchan sighs.

“Looks like you don’t know either.”

The guy with slight light brunette hair smirks when he mentions that Jaemin’s curiosity was far too much already. Jaemin’s smirk stays as his eyes look at Sungchan and he pats his chest with the palm. “Cya at lunch Chan.” Jaemin said suddenly jogging away from his friend leaving Sungchan by the lockers completely stranded, but not surprised.

‘Why am I not surprised? It’s Jaemin.’ The younger boy said to himself under the breath of holding back from shouting, trying not to seem so surprised but every time something happens, he was left alone to deal with his mess.

Running to dodge a few people passing through a sudden person now walks on the same length pace as you and your eyes caught the guy instantly. You remember him. The flashbacks run in your eyes like it was yesterday it happened. How he ignored you. Left you when you needed the help the most. The same anger flusters your knuckles but you roll them forward and your strength was holding back, you had the urge to just punch him already knowing what he did to you. But he seems to be completely oblivious? Does he really not remember you? You found it almost offensive that he does not recognise you considering what he did, it stays buried within your past.

Your glare appointed to the boy you stop when you notice he was following you and about to speak to you, so you shut him up immediately before he could even speak. “What do you want?” Well that came out slightly more meaner from you than Jaemin thought he would get. “You’re the new girl right? Why don’t I give you a school tour guide at lunch time.” He offers with a sweet smile.

This was God’s plan in a way. You thought this was perfect timing to get your revenge on him and just shout at him, reveal who you are, but you couldn’t do that. You didn’t have the strength to shout and scream anymore all you have is the numbing anger to deal with on your old wounds.

Then it hits you. He doesn’t recognise you and he thinks you’re a new girl, someone he doesn’t have relations with at all. Your eyes light up and your thoughts begin to trail like a running waterfall in synch.

What if you make him fall for you? Then you can take your revenge when he really loves you? You could make him regret what he did. He can be the first one on your list to take your revenge on.

You saw that the boy was waiting for your answer with hopeful sweet eyes. Your thoughts were too dark. You were wanting revenge not friendship, so to make this look real you have to pull your act together and hide your anger from everyone, at least for now. You pull a fake smile. “Sure, show me around.”

You swore Jaemin’s sweet smile widens. “Perfect. I’m Na Jaemin and you are…?”

The hand extends out to shake yours and you feel your eyebrows raise up furrowing as you had to think of a name for yourself. You remember you even given yourself a brand new name when enrolling into this school. You really had everything planned from the get-go.

“Y/n.” You tell him as you softly shake him by the hand. Jaemin was taking notes mentally already of your name, he found you mysterious. And he loves mysterious especially for a curious guy like he is you are a dangerous box for him to find.

He smiles. “Y/n huh? Pretty name. I’ll meet you in the cafeteria. It’s by the right side of you go straight ahead. Don’t forget that.”

“I won’t forget.” Not like you can. It’s not actually your first time being at this school.

You nearly forgot how nerving it must be being the new student. Especially when you’re standing in front of the class front of everyone, the teacher trying to make the class settle down and go quiet so you could introduce yourself.

“Come on kids settle down, it’s a Monday morning you shouldn’t be so hyperactive and happy.” The teacher glimpses back to you and the students with a sarcastic tone.

The students settle down. You recognise some of them. How can you forget after all? They all did you wrong.

Ningning, the most popular girl in the school who makes everything a competition if a slightest person gets more attention than her. She is popularity itself. People often refer to her as Queen of popularity. But you’re determined to overtake her, make her life a hell like she did to you.

Then there was Chenle. He was pretty wealthy and he got away with many many things you saw him do. He doesn’t even know you saw him do it because back then, you were someone else. You were nearly broken.

And you can’t forget Jaemin. Na Jaemin. The boy who does everything so effortlessly. The school heartthrob. The most popular guy you could ever think about. Jaemin is a social network. He was everything you have to be careful of.

‘Unless you’re going to use him.’ You thought to yourself.

The teacher gave you a sign to start when you’re ready and you clear your worrisome thoughts putting on a friendly smile. You bow your head. “Hello I’m Y/n I hope we all get along well.” The students welcome you by clapping their hands as you take a seat down at the middle section. You thought it was perfect if you sat there considering you didn’t want to be at the back like before.

Students were surprised by how pretty you are too, especially the boys in the class seem to be gossiping already, which just makes Ningning on edge. The new girl was already rousing up people saying how cute you look.

Jaemin smirks raising his hand. “Sir can I sit next to Y/n? I promised to show her around at lunch.” He smugly told to everyone so they can all wow and gasp. You’re already on first name basis and it made everyone’s lips widen.

You find Jaemin already so annoying that he’s sticking by you but this makes your job so much easier.

He just doesn’t know who you are it makes this all so much funnier how he’s doing everything he can to be around you. Hip to hip.

“You may.” The teacher said dismissing it so the lesson can go on. Jaemin moves to the next vacant chair and table next to your desk where you sat and he gives you a healing warm smile.

He starts to admire you from the side profile. You really look like a doll from any angle. Jaemin raised an eyebrow though. “Do you perhaps have a sister or anything?” Jaemin now said thinking. “Or is this your first time enrolling?”

He has a feeling he knows you from somewhere but he cannot brush it away without asking straight up.

Your eyes widen. “Sister? No… It’s my first time enrolling.” You mumble quietly not wanting to attract much attention to his question either. It’s best to act dumb and play along.

Jaemin let’s out a soft ‘huh’. He wasn’t sure why he thought you’d had an older sister or something. “Hm okay then.”

“Anyways, Y/n. What school did you come from before then?” He smiles watching you.

You don’t even bother to look at him, Jaemin found it so interesting how you’re listening to the lesson while not even paying much mind to him. “I was homeschooled.”

You had to be especially careful not to reveal too much of your past to him, but you can say you were homeschooled.

He leans closer. “Did you ever go to a school like this before then?”

“Nope.”

“Not even once?”

“No.”

“Wow… you must suck at socialising then Y/n. I mean… you sounded pretty angry with me when we first met.”

You wanted to slam your pencil and tell him to stop speaking when you’re in middle of a lesson trying to catch up with some work but you couldn’t do that to him otherwise you’d explode. And it might get you in trouble.

You patiently bite down on your tongue and pray Jaemin just shuts up. “I was in a grumpy mood, don’t pay mind to my tone.” You grit your teeth as you spoke and Jaemin smirks.

He knows he’s getting to you. “Am I annoying you Y/n?” Jaemin would ask you as if he didn’t know that he was, but it felt much nicer to hear it from you. You lift your face up with a heavy sigh away from the paper you’re writing class notes in as you turn to look at him.

“Yes, yes you are. I’m trying to write these class notes.” You say to him truthfully trying to put the hint across and Jaemin let’s out a soft ‘awh’ at you.

“Look at you trying to be a good student already. Can I copy some of the notes from you?” He smirks watching your expression twitch a little.

‘What a dick.’ You thought to yourself as if you never experienced people leeching off you again.

“Will you shut up if you do?” You sigh desperate for some peace and quiet over here as you see Jaemin smirk nodding. “Of course.”

You don’t know if you can believe him. Actually you don’t. But you did this anyways and handed your notes to him so he can take a copy of it on the paper he owns.

You snatch your paper away once he was done out his hand and he sheepishly smirks leaning closer whispering to you when you’re going back to writing down on the paper.

“Thank you Y/n.” Jaemin whispers pulling away.

“No problem, Jaemin.” You sarcastically said with a tone that wasn’t so nice and upbeat to him, whispering it back.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank you! Please reblog this fic and follow me for more updates on my pinned post!

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quimichi · 9 days

Text

TW: obsessive behavior, stealing

SUMMARY: He couldn't take his eyes off you...why are you so...catching? So pretty to look at...Why do you have to have this beautiful soul...and why would he do anything for you?

CHARACTERS: SUB!Yandere x F!Reader

WORD COUNT: 854

*character in the picture: Yoshiki - The summer Hikaru died

¡! ❞ Akito always loved beautiful things. Since childhood he loved to watch the sunset or sunrise. His parents always had to stop their car when there was a rainbow so he could take a picture with his little kids toy camera. When he got older, he also hot into poetry. He found his mothers poetry book in the bookshelf before he could even understand half the words written there. He just knew those words and phrases must be pretty.

¡! ❞ All things fascinate him, because all things are beautiful in some way. So it wouldn't have been much of a surprise that when he sees you, he would fall hard.

¡! ❞ But...it was. There he was, standing his eyes almost popping out of his skull while he introduces himself to the class. He just moved here, everything i so new to him. There's so much to discover! But he had no idea he would discover love...discover you.

¡! ❞ He stared, directly at you, you saw and felt it. Normally, you'd think its really weird, cause it is. But since he appears so cute and innocent, you shake it off as a nervous fixation. Surely someone like him wouldn't be THAT weird. Wrong...

¡! ❞ The teacher decides the best place for him to sit, is the free place beside you. There are many more free seats, but you were one of the nicest in class, so your teacher figured it would be best if Akito sat beside you. Maybe you will even show him around? Introduce him to the new environment?

¡! ❞ So he sat down beside you, and immediately introduced himself, "Akito." He extends his hand, wanting you to shake it, and of course you place your hand in his...oh-your hand is...so warm? It feels nice against his skin. Your skin against his. Youe have really nice hands, with hands like these you MUST obviously do something. Art? Maybe you compose songs? Poetry maybe! "I know-!" you giggle as you shake his hand. Akito tilts his head, "Huh?...oh-i already introduced myself-!" He's a little ashamed, but he had worse situations. Your beauty is just...he doesn't know how to describe it, it caught him off guard a bit.

¡! ❞ "I'm Y/N, it's really nice to meet you." You shake his hand, you can't deny it, he's kinda cute. But the introduction was short lived because the lesson was about to start. While you were able to pay attention, Akito was not. He doesn't dislike school, but neither does he love it. Hes a pretty good student, he can pay attention. But rn the lesson is just bugging him the wrong way. It cut you off, you couldn't talk to him anymore...He wanted to hear more of your voice...what a shame, truly.

¡! ❞ But its ok, he can just sit there and learn about you! Oh, now he knows what those hands do. Your handwriting is pretty, the way that pen flows over the paper makes it look so elegant, so easy. You wouldn't pay much attention to it cause well, its not really important is it? Its just your handwriting. But Akito already memorized how each letter is written, connects with the other, how they look in combinations.

¡! ❞ You, again, notice his stare. And, again, you shake it off. You move your hand over and turn the paper into his vision, "there." You honestly just thought he wants to see your notes and maybe copy some of them. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO NICE??? Why is his heart pounding so much?? Is this love? No, it can't be you two just met??

¡! ❞ at the end of class he noticed how one of your pens mustve rolled off your table. Seems like you also didn't noticed...so you wouldn't notice if he would take it, right? You're so nice you wouldn't mind one pen less right? Its also the pen you took your notes with!...that means your warm soft hands touched it...pretty hands.

¡! ❞ Quickly he shoves it into his pocket before someone notices him and walks out right after you, following along like a lost puppy. You know where the next class is, so you don't mind. But he actually forgot about this fact and just wanted to follow you, because...well youre interesting. He keeps playing with the pen in his pocket, the material is nice. You must probably like the pen if you take notes with it. And he saw more of the same brand laying around on your desk. Is it your favorite brand? Should he buy you some?...Or do you have enough? Wait-why did you stop walki-

¡! ❞ He bumped into your back, or more specifically, your backpack. "Sorry-! I uh...didn't pay attention to where i was going..." You laugh it off, saying its ok while walking away to a friend.

¡! ❞ Odd...this feeling in his stomach, the sudden drop. Perhaps...jealousy? Is he truly jealous of your friend? Just because you walked over to them to talk to them instead of you? Cause your attention shifted?...

to be continued?

I realized I take waaay to long so--more parts? Was it even good???

#yandere x reader #oc #oc x reader #yandere male #male yandere #x female reader #x fem!reader #yandere x you #yandere x y/n #yandere x darling

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thatonepersonwhocantwrite · 29 days

Text

Wonderland pt 1

Part 1 (Eventually) Yandere Luke castellan x Gender neutral reader

Summary you're from wonderland well at least you're mother is you're father is a God. The best swordsman in camp takes an.... interesting and obsessive liking to you

Also I feel like we offen forget wine isn't the only thing Dionysus is the God of but madness as well. I currently have bad writers block and couldn't currently think of anything else to add so I decided to split it into parts since I needed to post something.

Trigger warnings nothing yet, but eventually in future parts yandere themes like stalking, manipulation, kidnapping (extra)

You weren't from this world well......technically you are you were from a part of the world everyone thought was made up just another part of the human imagination......Wonderland . Wonderland was very.....disconnected from actual sane people or large bustling cities like New York. Your mother was probably one of the subjects of the queen of hearts just kinda surviving. Your father isn't exactly normal either he was also never around. Honestly as much as you love your mother it was kinda hard to imagine a God falling for her or really a God falling for anyone in Wonderland because while some of the inhabitants of Wonderland is more sane then others even the more sane ones start to go insane eventually.

Which is why when you were 13 you ran away from home. Although you had no clue where to go or what to do now you had left Wonderland. You're clothes and mismatched socks probably also made you stand out to by standers because in real life on Earth the other humans weren't used to seeing people dress in bright colors and patterns unless celebrating. After a few days of wandering aimlessly you ran into help or rather help ran into you.

You were desperately scrounging around for food thinking maybe it wasn't such a good idea to leave home when you felt someone run smack into you causing you both to tumble towards the ground. "Oh my pan! I'm so sorry." A male voice said. He had ...goat horns? Ehh not the weirdest thing you've ever seen. "Are those horns really or .....?" You asked. "They're real. Oh I'm Grover. " Grover replied. You weren't sure what to say or do and that's how you met Grover. After about a week of traveling with Grover is when you met Luke, Thalia and Annabeth.

" Hey Grover I'm going to find something to eat for myself. " You replied. " Ok just don't go far I'll finish setting up camp." Grover said. You did in fact wander to far when you stumbled upon a bush full of berries and you were about to eat some when you heard a voice tell you to wait. "Wait, don't eat those! those are holly berries they are poisonous!" A young female voice exclaimed. You looked around for the source of the voice. You spotted a young girl no older than 7 standing between some trees you could make out 2 more figures behind her one another female and the other male. You backed away your left hand reaching for a dagger in your pocket you swear wasn't there a moment ago while you're right hand still held the berries.

" Who are you why should I trust you?" You questioned. You got a closer look at them the seven year old girl had grey eyes , black hair and brown skin, the other gir who looked about a year younger than you so 12 had choppy short black hair , blue eyes and is white. She pushed the younger seven year old behind her. " Thalia I can protect myself!" The seven year old exclaimed. While the two girls were arguing you managed to sneak away not noticing the male following you.

" Grover!" You exclaimed finally making it back to the very stressed looking satyr. Grover rushed over to you. " Y/n there you are! You were gone for an hour I was worried I was calling your name but no reply and I didn't want to leave the fire unattended. Your not hurt are you?" Grover asked like a panicked father looking over you to make sure you didn't have any new injuries. " Hey Grover I'm ok. I'm ok." You replied. " Pan Y/n you had me so worried!" Grover exclaimed. "LUKE!" The older female voice Thalia called out causing You and Grover to look in the direction of Thalia's voice and there stood the male that had been with the 2 younger females.

Now learning his name is Luke. You started to reach for your dagger once again.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. "

#x reader #yn #percy jackson and the olympians #gender neutral reader #yandere luke castellan #grover pjo #grover underwood #thalia grace #annabeth chase #luke castellan x reader

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iraprince · 2 years

Note

hi i just wanted to say im genuinely obsessed with the way you draw thighs + hips + butts + the crotch region in general. thank you for your service and if you have any suggestions or resources id adore them

hi, thank you! i have a lot of fun drawing those bits so i'm glad the fun comes through :)

i can def take a crack at some notes on how i construct stuff, but especially with this general pelvis area i think a lot of how i draw it is very much individual stylization -- so what i'll go over is definitely not any kind of anatomy tutorial or step-by-step or anything like that, and i also wouldn't even really call these notes suggestions on how to draw this stuff. my real suggestion is what it always is, which is to get into anatomy studies/figure drawing first, then decide how you want to stylize starting from that foundational info! also, while i don't usually lean into this a lot in my own style, the musculature of the thighs is a lot more complex than you might expect, so it can be useful to look at more detailed anatomical diagrams in addition to just studying from models. but i hope seeing how i often do it myself is still helpful in some way!

so, for starters, and i mean this totally seriously: a lot of what i get complimented on in my art is stuff i specifically draw with horny intent, lmao. i'm not at all saying you have to be horny to get good but i think you get results from fun + fixation, because when you care a lot about the details and when you care about capturing specific stuff that you're excited about (in any way), that comes through in your drawings. so when ur deciding on how to stylize, pay attention to what little details about ur area of focus are really cute/interesting/appealing to you, and find ways to emphasize that!

honestly part of that means focus on posing as well as whatever you're doing with anatomy/stylization -- i have a thing i affectionately call the "ira neck thrust" that my friends are constantly calling me out for and it's basically just the tits and ass back arch that i'm so fond of. of course u end up noticing how i draw this area when i'm constantly drawing attention to it and making things cheesecake-y specifically to show it off, lol!

beyond that i think the summary of the rest of the notes is just to find ways to lay things out so that it's easy for you to place the shapes and details you want to stylize/emphasize. i like drawing thighs with pronounced upper muscle; i often stylize the lower half of the torso + hips with multiple repeating curves to emphasize that shape. i love hip creases and visual cues on how the thighs are moving, so i usually don't miss an opportunity to draw those in (and to pose/costume in a way that specifically shows it off, again). my anatomy in this area is usually so stylized and unrealistic that, while of course i make a lot of these decisions from a foundation of figure drawing, a ton of the actual impact/final look is just coming from style choices!

(i also only have time to throw together one example, but these things should still generally ring true for bodies of any type/size; "bony" landmarks exist regardless of weight and will show up on larger bodies as areas where tendons + muscle anchor to the bone, which can have a lot of influence on folds + the shapes of body fat, and it's always a good idea to study reference and decide from there how to stylize. "morpho: fat and skin folds" is a great anatomy book for this.)

i feel like this is all i have energy 2 throw together at the moment and it's so specific to how i draw that i'm not sure how helpful it'll be lol but!! maybe i will come back to this another day if i think of anything else. also i guess here is one final summary of why i think this method works for me

#tutorial #not really but i'm just tagging it that so it's with all the similar asks #tutorials

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kanmom51 · 9 months

Text

JK live 5 August 1:41 am KST

Part 2

*cr./To the creators of the media used in this post.

For those who missed out on part 1:

Before I start with part 2, brace yourselves. This one is packed with clips that are a MUST to see. Seriously. This was such a long live but it was so enjoyable because of JK's hyper mood at start and his adorable quirkiness throughout the whole live. It was a pleasure to watch and this post has a few lovely moments from the second half of the live. My suggestion is do take your time and watch the clips. I can assure you, you will not regret it.

Did we call part 2 Makguksu blues?

We sure did.

And this, my friends, is why.

JK, right through the second half of this live, is dreaming of eating his dish. Stopping from some music at times, or singing, or pondering, but mainly dreaming of eating. Man is hungry. Stomach growling hungry.

So, at the point we left him he's telling us again that he wants to eat.

And he's really struggling. So much so he's imagining himself making the dish.

youtube

First hour obsessing over messing up at the concert.

Next hour (well overlapping too) contemplating and obsessing over making himself something to eat.

Tries to move on with music, going to the bathroom and to refill his drink.

Talking/singing in the background. - a JK usual.

When he comes back he seems a little pensive again. Nodding head once in a while.

Opens up one of his Spotify gifts – the mic he got, trying to figure out how to connect it. He puts it away to charge a little.

WE have a few relatively quiet minutes. He’s thinking, not talking. Music playing, he’s on his laptop, mood kind of feels like it’s a little heavier than before, even if before he was hard on himself most of it was vocal and done with a smile. Now he becomes more pensive.

Singing to Malibu nights by Lany. He knows the lyrics off by heart!!

youtube

So, remember this?

And this?

And quite the coincidence... song playing at 1:18 hr. of the live. Now that WAS a coincidence. But funny how the universe seems to always align for them, eh?

He asks us if we know a playlist called Life sucks.

Malibu nights is on that playlist as well.

Definitely in a mood.

It could also be the adrenaline rush just winding down as well... Probably the combination of both.

Convinced himself to eat later in the day (says tomorrow, but it is already tomorrow, lol).

After a few minutes he’s back to reading comments, reads a comment asking for him to play Winter bear, he’s looking for it and then plays it.

And he starts to interact with the comments again. Someone tells him their grandmother said he’s so beautiful and he smiles and says thank you, bowing as well.

Asks if he should watch some covers of Seven – good decision to lighten his mood.

So now he’s vibing to Seven.

And he starts adlibbing – his fave thing to do and something he’s great at (mostly) – and it's about the concert again, lol.

So yeah, still not over it. Lol.

Ok, and he does this:

Ahhhha, literally.🤣🤣

Doing the Seven cover is good for him. It does lift his mood slightly.

youtube

JK again looking at comments around 10 minutes in to listening to seven, and of course,

What in the actual fuck? Again bloody Ian in the comments. And again JK, not amused saying:

JK is literally like :

And with these fans you know:

Goes back to the music.

Back to the adlibbing for food. Man is damn hungry.

And he's back to the comments. Asked if he likes cupcakes, says he doesn’t really eat them much, but he tries to say it in English.

You can see he is really trying with the English. Making the effort!

Comment: Would you like to collaborate with latino artist?

JK: Idk. Didn’t think about it (answers in English again).

JK: Should I go to sleep, I want to go to sleep now. But then he tells us that if he ends the live now he’ll go make himself makguksu and that’s why he isn’t turning the live off, lol.

I want to eat makguksu so much, giggling. That’s why he isn’t ending the live.

And did he just say DAYMN? Like with the accent and all? Lol.

And now telling this to us in English. Because this is the vital piece of information that EVERYONE needs to know. HE WANTS TO EAT MAKGUKSU!!!

Ok, so this is hilarious. He says, in English I’m HANGRY. I’m assuming he meant hungry, and that was the translation, but could he have actually meant hangry? Lol. I mean, with the level of frustration being so DAYMN ravenous, perhaps he is already HANGRY. LMAO.

Ok, so as I was writing these lines, well more like half an hour after (but who's counting?), RM had his live and among other very interesting things he shared with us, he happened to drop this little tidbit:

Is Joon telling us he's the one giving JK English lessons?

I mean, it would make perfect sense.

And explain JK's use of slang words rather than a cleaner English. Words like cause and daymn and hangry.

And if we are already on the subject, do we remember who was also getting English lessons at the surprisingly and very coincidental time as JK?

Let me jog your memory.

A certain someone who happens to live in the same complex that Joon lives in. A certain someone that told us he's getting lessons in English as well. At night. Kind of when JK was getting his. Ooh, coincidences galore.

I wonder if they all sit together in JM's lounge drinking and trying to have conversations in English. Or perhaps drinking and watching Friends without the translations.

Guess it's time to move on...

Next he listens/watches to Boynextdoor cover of seven.

Thinks they are cute and then shows us the signed album he received from them. See? That shelf was his signed debut albums.

He wants to go eat makguksu, again, he needs to go, he is a real soldier hanging on not giving in.

At this point, around the 2 hour mark he’s really had enough, he wants to end the live (has been wanting to end the live for several minutes already), go wash up, but then says he’ll listen to another couple covers.

He tells us he likes the covers that also rearrange the track.

JK: I want to go eat, but I really can’t eat.

So for the next 20 minutes it’s all about he has to go to sleep and we have to go to sleep, but then he needs to sing with the spotify mic.

Ok, so his reaction with this mic was bloody hilarious. He kept getting a fright from it, and his reactions priceless.

First when turning it on.

youtube

🤣

Now that he has the mic it’s like he gets a new wind and he starts another round of karaoke.

He wants to seeing a calm song. Easy song.

Enjoys making gluk gluk sounds with the mic. Asmr, he loves it, lol.

Sings All of my life – a song he is already familiar with. He sings it karaoke, quite differently than his cover 5 years ago.

But before, he needs to go find the lyrics.

youtube

This song meant a lot to him back in 2018. I feel like it’s still emotional, but much has happened since, water under the bridge. He even sings the last verse, the one about the breakup. The one he made sure not to sing back then.

He shares with us that he had issue hearing the key (in the song) and that his ears are off since catching the cold.

He then sings Sofa, brings the speaker up closer to hear it better.

youtube

Watch the clip!! This time JK gets a fright from the speaker. His reactions. He is absolutely adorable. Precious.

We are adlibbing again.

And then it’s really time to end.

It’s just “it’s really time to sleep now.” “bye” and he’s off. Well, not before he once again has a jump scare from his mic.

And then good night and good morning and bye and he’s gone.

Can’t help wonder if he gave in and went to make himself to eat or went to bed, lol.

So, there we have it,

Almost 2 and a half hour live.

First half – upset about messing up at the concert.

Second half – I want to eat makguksu.

Lots of adlibbing, all about messing up at the concert and wanting to eat makguksu.

That's pretty much it.

Oh, and how could I forget?

I’m done gaming, noo more gaming, no more gaming room, I dismantled it all, and not even doing the live in that room to make sure you understand I am no longer gaming. PERIOT.

Wait, you think that's the end of it?

Hell no.

After JK turned off his Weverse live, the man, who told us he's going to bed, was suddenly curious and decided to go live on TikTok. Again.

This bellow being a link to his first live a couple days back:

And now, after disabling the gift option (and making a point of telling us so in this last live):

youtube

Yep, now I'm done!

Woohoo!!!

All up to date on JK's lives.

I'm ready for more lives JK.... Bring them on...

#Jungkook #JK #JK live #JK and makgusku #I can't help but wonder if he ended the live and went to make something to eat #Youtube

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diejager · 1 year

Text

Lil' Mouse

The Ghostface

Cw: blood, gore, murder, attempted murder, survivor, killer, NSFW, torture, implication of smut, Ghostface being a sick fuck- he's Ghostface.

Note: not proofread

Wc: 1k

Few things made his blood pump, adrenaline running through his veins with hunger; deep, unscathed hunger - a primal need. One of those were the chases. He loved the feeling of a chase, the pure adrenaline that it gave him, he lived for the hunt and the stalking. Watching his victim slowly fall into madness, paranoia at being watched, thinking that they're being watched without knowing who or where, the fear in their eyes and the jitters in their body; but what he loved more than the stalking was the sound of his knife stabbing through a person's flesh, the squelch of blood and the warm feel of it under his cool, leather gloves. The cold silver turned into a crimson shimmer after one stab, a drug that drove his system wild, it gave him a kick to see blood pool from the wound and cover the ground his victim lay.

If they screamed- Oh, if they screamed and trashed, it would only spur him on, making the game of cat and mouse truly alive. The gurgles and gasps he would receive, his ears tuned to the songs of harrowing pain that slowly died down as his victim bled to death. The liquid life draining the warmth and colour of their skin, glazed over eyes and red-painted lips. Another picture for the memorabilia - his twisted sense of remembrance for his past victims added to the papers he wrote about himself.

He killed for self-enjoyment, to feel the thrill and energy it brought to him - perhaps that's why it didn't bother him when she took him, to the Entity's world.

She fed off hope and despair, words he was familiar with, he also got a kick out of seeing people cry and despair. It was a good deal in his eyes, he could stalk, hunt and kill without the nagging presence of authoritative figures or always needing to move from state to state; it saved him time and money, though it lacked the power he had over the city he preyed upon and failed to fuel his need for media popularity.

The same faces, the same methods, the same voices, but the various ways he stabbed them, choked them, and left them for dead was exhilarating. It might've been better than before, he could let them scream as loud as he wanted. Some, he hated - a mutual hatred between him and a few survivors - others, he could care less as long as he was entertained - they feared him for good reasons, he was a knife-wielding psycho charging at them. None were his favorites, he didn't have one, couldn't find an interesting enough individual to constantly keep his attention on- but then you popped up.

A doe-eyed survivor with scars lining the cuffs of your collar, silver lines hidden tightly under that loose polo of yours; none being a result of your actions, surely. Cautious frown and knitted brows in and out of trials, softening when pointed towards another survivor and hardening to a resolute glare when caught by one of his. How utterly adorable. You watched from afar, never daring to approach him, even when he beckoned you over with a teasing wave, eyes narrowed and back hunched as you backpedaled from him. You hightailed away the first time you met, quick on your feet and smart too - he liked that. Although you were a bit quiet, mouse-like in some ways as some survivors would be after living in the Entity's realm for a while; scurrying away before anything bad happened; fidgeting with your hands; looking back at every noise. Adorably so, you became his new obsession.

On the second trial, he cornered you, stalked you, trapped you, and hunted you like a prowling cat hunting a sqeaky mouse. You froze up, hands trembling and legs rigid with terror, the dark circles under your eyes made your wide eyes so much prettier when he caught the glint of his knife in them. Each step of his doubled yours, backing you into a wall, helpless and at his mercy.

"I'm gonna carve you another one, yeah?"

True to his words, you found yourself straddled on the cold and damp floor, hands flying towards his masked face, his hands, his shoulders - anywhere you could that would potentially stop him - to deter him from carving you another one. A deep, saccharine chuckle, muffled by his mask, reached your ears as his knife plunged into your flesh, tracing the lines that your prior attacker left. What he could finish before, Ghostface could, drawing new lines over the old ones, painting pinkish silver in red and unscarred flesh with red.

"You look hot, babe," he cooed, sounding so far away from the blood loss.

The ringing in your head and numbing body told you all you needed - made you reminisce of the time you were attacked and left for dead in that alley, forgotten - except for the hard poke on your thigh that told you another thing: he was a sick fucker. The bastard had popped a boner while stabbing you.

He found new ways of doing you in, on the third meeting he hooked you - for once - on the fourth, your throat was slit; on the fifth, stabbed once in the abdomen and cuddled as you bled to death; on the sixth, a quick and merciful hit to the heart after he cracked your ribs; seventh-

You hated him, where he found pleasure, you found pain - much expected from a killer toward a survivor. Yet, with every kill, he helped, The Ghostface helped you slowly move on, over your near-death experience, of having everyone leave you after they thought you kicked the bucket, numbing the pain. You were always worried about or congratulated after a match with him, and he, true to his words, always came back to you for more.

"My adorable lil' mouse," he said, fingers crinkling around the handle of his knife as he peered over the wall.

Degrading, yes, but it held a bit of affection.

You either got away scot-free or died with him, not limping to the gate with The Shape or dizzy and brain-scrambled by The Doctor. They were all sick bastards, but Ghostface was one of the... nicer toward you.

"Hmm?" he cooed, head tilting almost comically with his mask. "You want to know what to call me other than Ghostface?"

"Danny, babe, Danny Johnson. You better remember it cuz you'll be screaming that name tonight."

#dbd fanfic #dbd ghostface #dbd x reader #ghostface #danny johnson #dbd x you #dbd ghostface x reader #dead by daylight #ghostface x reader #the shape #the doctor

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strwberri-milk · 1 year

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Hi again! I wanted to thank you for the Kaeya/plus size reader and was wondering if you were interested in exploring the smut parts more if you have some free time! Tysm!!

ive just done a bit more for it here!! i decided to indulge just a bit!! reader is neutral!! i try to write my fics neutral overall/leaning towards this scale bc i am not small by any means other than height and i am definitely self indulgent - thats why i write so much kaeya :D

There's nothing more Kaeya adores than spending time with you. He's super touchy and you're super warm which totally combats the way that his body runs colder.

That means he's constantly trying to snuggle you up, resting his head on your lap or curling up into a ball on your chest. Wherever you are, he's going to make himself fit to practically lay across you.

It also means that sometimes, your hands might wander without thinking, more so just trying to reach out and touch him without realising it, or do the damndest things while he's holding you to make his mind blur. This was most definitely one of those times.

You have no idea what you did this time to set him off. Genuinely, sometimes it feels like if you breathe a little too light it'll make him go feral because it almost sounds like you're whimpering.

Now, he's got you pinned against the wall, towering over you with his arms at the side of your head. Your hands rest on his waist, unsure of what he's doing until you feel the soft pressure of his lips against yours, letting his hands fall to pull you into his chest.

"You've been so touchy today," you laugh slightly, giggling more as he presses kisses against your cheek.

"Just let me have some fun with you, alright? You can't think I'm not going to indulge when you've spent all day being the sweetest thing on Earth?"

He continues to kiss you, tongue slipping into your mouth and sliding against yours to distract you from his wandering hands. You squeak a little when you feel him slip into the pockets of your pants, gently squeezing the plush of your ass.

"Okay? You're okay with that?" he whispers against your lips, giving you a very obvious look.

He's a big squeezer. I can't explain it but someone give this man a fidget toy he'd love it. For now, he's just going to use you, squeezing and kissing at your thighs from between your legs, looking up at you as if you are singlehandedly responsible for bringing the world to life.

He managed to lead you towards the bedroom, laying you down on the sheets and stripping you down to nothing for his hungry eyes. His gaze wanders, making room for himself and letting your thighs rest against his hips as he presses more reverential kisses down your skin.

Just to tease, you can feel him trail his lips down your skin before going where you need him most. His mouth immediately goes to suck and lick, blunt nails digging into your thighs as he prevents you from closing up over his head. He's obsessed with the way his fingers imprint your skin, only parting with your sex when he decides your thighs look a little lonely.

You push and push against his grasp, failing miserably and whimpering pathetically at the sight of his muscular arms flexing to push against you and keep you in place. His back flexes, neck craning up to look at you and you think you've died on gone to heaven. He just digs his nails more into you, obsessed with the way his fingers force your body to give under his strong hold.

"You're - ah! -" you whine, burying yourself in Kaeya's face as he continues to insist on lapping up your nectar as though he's a man starved.

There's nothing you can say outside a safeword to stop him, not even registering that he's finally parted from your spit-soaked thighs and dripping slit to sit up and admire the mess he's made just with his mouth.

His hands begin to feel you up again, squeezing and lightly scratching down your skin as you catch your breath. He adores every part of you, lust-filled gaze trying to figure out what other noises he should try to draw out of you and how. For now, he decides to press your thighs to your chest, presenting your desperate hole to him.

"Too much? Do you need me to stop?" he asks lowly, biting his lip at the way your chest heaves with each breath you take.

"No, it's okay," you say softly, shuddering as he rubs circles under your knees.

"Good. Because I just want to make you melt."

He slides into you easily, making you let out the breath you didn't know you were holding as he starts off with slow strokes. He savours your body, relishing the warmth you've surrounded him with that increases tenfold once your thighs lock around his waist. He grinds up against you, smirking at the noise it brings out of you.

You feel his chest meet yours, kissing you hard again as his thrusts pick up, hips slamming home against yours over and over until you really do end up melting all over him.

#kaeya x reader #kaeya smut #genshin x reader #genshin smut #genshin impact fanfic #genshin impact

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rubye402 · 2 years

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I'll be honest. I thought for sure Narrator was gonna Tumblr's sexyman for 2022 when Ultra Deluxe dropped. Really fandom, I'm truly disappointed in us. So I guess if y'all are too much of cowards to do it ya damn selves, (/j (joking)) I'll make the romantic Narry stuff. I'll be the clown. The court jester. The gremlin that screeches--

Romantic Narrator (He/Him) HC (we're going to assume he's in a sort of Narration room, and that he has a physical body. You're the only one allowed in.) Also GN!Reader.

After you both met (however the hell that happens) Narry's... A little clingy already. Not that he's downright obsessive or hugs you without permission, but he wants you to stick around as he vents about Stanley, he wants you to just be in his presence when Stanley (and he) is happy in the Story ending, and he needs comfort after things like the Zen ending. Things like that.

With enough time, he eventually THEN starts to kinda show signs of just how touch starved he is, by starting to subtly get his fill of physical touch.

"Oh, my papers for this part of the story HAPPENS to be is right next to your side. Let me reach around you and grab it."

"Ugh! Can you BELIEVE Stanley?! Here, let me lay my head in your lap as I lay down and complain and be dramatic about it."

...Well, HE thinks he's being subtle.

Narry doesn't think much about it at first, thinking he's just been alone without physical contact for so long that he just craves it.

...Then you hug him on your own after Stanley has given him nothing but bad endings one day. (Is Stanley being a prick or was causing Narry to have a genuinely shit day an accident? You decide!)

And then he just feels... Warmth in his face as he slowly realizes that he likes you.

Oh this boy when he's in love. He gives Stanley new paths to follow, and those paths have everything to do with trying to figure out what you like and don't like in a romantic setting, and he takes notes on your reaction. (He says it's for Stanley though. Meanwhile our office worker is... So confused why it's basically a fucking DATING SIM)

Then there's the poems. He's a writer, of course writing you a poem is his bread and butter. He is SO flowery in his words though. What a drama king.

Of course, eventually you accept his eccentric way of saying "I like you, a lot." And he is OVER THE MOON he's so happy

I feel bad for poor Stanley who more than likely, heard several times Narrator and you kissing, and Narry scrambles as he realizes Stanley heard ALLLLL of that.

"NOPE IGNORE THAT STANLEY THAT WAS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS-"

He's very attentive to you. If he even THINKS something is up with you, he'll put everything on pause.

"Yet there was not a single person here either. Feeling a wav-- Hold on Stanley. Are you OK over there, dear? ... Oh, you're alright? You sure? ... Ah. I see. Alright then. Forgive me Stanley, let's proceed. *ahem* Feeling a wave of disbelief-"

And when you do need something, Narry tells Stanley to stay wherever he is and might even lock him in that room for a bit, as he goes to your side, with a muted mic, in a heartbeat.

And while Stanley wouldn't see it, sometimes you two cuddle on the chair Narry sits on to narrate the Stanley Parable, with one sitting in the others lap. It really depends how tall you are compared to Narry on where you sit.

If you're shorter, you're little spoon and he hugs around your waste with one hand, as the other controls everything needed as he narrates, as he puts his chin on top of your head.

If you're taller, he sits in your lap and he'll reach back and pull your arms around him as he works.

If you want to be in the opposite position (short behind him, tall in front of him), he'll try to work around you the best he can as he complies.

So to say the least, his bonding with you is vibing together as he works. Though if you want his attention more often and you express so, Narry makes some more endings for Stanley that will distract the office worker for a long while. Maybe even load up some more games and let him go off in the world and do whatever for a while.

If Stanley has especially misbehaved though, Narry will plop him down in the baby game and tell him he's not allowed to leave until he's played the full 4 hour game.

His petnames for you include:

(My) Dear(est)

(My) Darling

Sweetheart

(My) Love (or rather Luv bc british?)

And probably a few others that are either individual to you, or some semblance of an inside joke between you two.

And if you have any petnames you'd like him to call you, just say the word and that's the thing he'll call you most often.

Overall, he's a dramatic drama king with a short fuse that only you can put out to see his more patient side. He's going to be clingy, but he's ready to be at your side for anything you'll ever need.

#ta-stinkin-da fandom #you're welcome #the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #kinda #tsp narrator #tsp narry #narrator x reader #tsp narry x reader #tsp

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beloved-belittled · 1 month

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Yandere Cetrion x Reader

A/N: Two stories in a single week? Don't say I don't ever treat y’all. Since I've written for Kronika and Shinnok I figured I should include her as well. Also her Tower ending… It intrigues me. It gives me ideas about a few stories is all I'll say.

TW: Platonic yandere, violence, stalking, unhealthy power dynamics, MK11 Tower ending spoilers, honestly this is pretty tame.

Out of her family she's the most likely to fall for a mortal. Cetrion genuinely cares about mortals despite her loyalty to her mother’s wishes. This is demonstrated in her Tower ending, where initially upon getting The Hourglass she creates a paradise of sorts. I imagine that in Heaven the Elder Gods are quite bored, not having much to do as their interference with the realms is limited. And Heaven isn't exactly getting invaded or falling apart anytime soon. So, I imagine they watch the happenings in the realms like it's a livestream.

This is how Cetrion ends up discovering you, just one day while she's watching Earthrealm. Though the Gods are meant to be unbiased in their decisions, she would be lying if she said Earthrealm wasn't her favorite. Out of all the realms it's the one that's come closest to embodying virtue. What places her attention on you would be any act of good. Whether that's volunteering at a soup kitchen or an animal shelter -as long as you're helping those less fortunate you'll catch her eye.

When you do catch her eye it's hard for Cetrion to pull her attention away from you. It's as though she senses some potential in you, but can't quite place her finger on what. It isn't love at first sight, but she is intrigued with you immediately after that incident. From that point on you'll have divine eyes watching you, observing every single action and word you say without rest…

So, you better be on your best behavior! It seems like Earthrealm (for the most part) follows our history so you may not even know about the existence of Elder Gods. Even so, the burning sensation of being watched everywhere you go is too intense to be imagined. You'll likely become paranoid in public/private but not know the reason why.

Hopefully, upon getting that sensation you decide to continue being a good person. Cetrion is pleased to see such saintly behavior from you. You help others without expecting a reward and always treat others with compassion. It warms her heart to see you try to improve the world you're in even just a little.

Cetrion is also the quickest to pine for you out of her family. She falls into limerence in about a few months. That time might as well be seconds to her. Likely, you're not even the first human who she’s obsessed over. But, you're the first one where she'll actually be able to act on her feelings.

Cetrion was originally going to just hope that your soul would ascend to Heaven after your death. Maybe she would even attempt to coax you into living a righteous life, assuming she could get away with contacting you past the other Elder Gods. But with Shinnok's decapitation and Kronika wanting to reset the timeline again, things go in Cetrion's favor more than it has for the past resets. She ends up rebelling against Kronika and successfully becoming the Keeper of Time. With her and the Elder Gods out of the way, well, what's stopping her from getting to know you a bit? But first, she must make a better world for all mortals. It's her duty as the Goddess of Virtue after all.

You don't meet Cetrion until after she reshapes the timeline. She crafts your fate to be one by her side -an emissary of the Life Goddess herself. As she watches you be born into a loving family, she can't help but smile as she thinks about what your future holds.

I believe Cetrion in a way just wants a happy family -especially after observing mortals for so long. I believe that's why she follows Kronika even if a part of her really believes her mother’s wishes are utter garbage. If she lives up to Kronika's expectations then maybe she'll get love for once. At least with her gone, she's fully accepted mortals as her family.

Annnnnd that's where the good times end. While you were a relatively kind person in the previous timelines, something about having a life free of adversaries seems to change you. You grow up to become a sinful person. You overindulge yourself in food, liquor, and gambling. You constantly partake in illegal substances and attempt to get others as addicted as you are. You even show absolutely no compassion to your fellow man -taunting and bullying anyone who dared to deviate from your worldview. You're all around a bad person, and it becomes even worse when you get the wise idea of joining a mercenary gang to fight in Outworld.

Cetrion stops that timeline before you get too out of control. She generously decides that maybe your behavior was just a fluke. You reincarnate into a similar life as before, but still you fall into being a vile pest. Annoyed at this she once again restarts the timeline, but this time she puts you in a not as noble but still caring family.

Nope. You're still evil. And not only just you, but it seems like other mortals are getting worse each time she resets despite her making a paradise. She's become quite disillusioned at this point, frustrated at how doing the right thing is leading to despicably immoral creations. She thinks that maybe mortals do constantly need that push of an adversary. To always need one foot on their neck to appreciate her gifts.

As Cetrion reshapes the realms to something more… Hellish, she's still willing to give you one last chance. Maybe your corruption was simply from being around all these impure mortals. If you were closer to your goddess, right with her in the Heavens then perhaps the taint of sin will leave you. You'll be pure again. She'll cleanse you of filth no matter the means she must resort to.

So Cetrion once again resets time, this time with you being blessed to be her one and only true child. You literally carry a part of her divine essence now, so there is NO excuse for your actions now. She truly hopes that you'll be good this time, but if not she'll punish you like a parent must with an unruly child. As you grow up you find yourself constantly being observed and scrutinized. You don't know it though -she wants to see your true nature unfold. To see who you really are without the influence of your surroundings.

And once again. Once again you disappoint her. And you do so in the most hurtful of ways. You rebel against her, siding with the mortals and citing how cruel her treatment of them is. How evil she is to allow them to face the consequences of their actions. “My sweet, pure (Y/N).” She says, as you point your weapon at her. “I see that you've become just as tainted as those in the realms below. No matter, I will strike you down where you stand.” She lifts a hand towards you, charging up a powerful beam.

You get destroyed in the battle, laying in the ground of the celestial plane on the precipice of death. As she approaches your limp form you expect her to deliver the killing blow. But instead, she picks you up ever so gently. You're surprised at her tenderness and the genuine smile you see on your mother's face. Then you feel your body lurch downwards as you descend into the depths of the Netherrealm. You faint just before you recognize your new location though, too sapped of strength to stay conscious.

Little did you know, but the Netherrealm was about to become your new home for eons. Cetrion made sure of it, trapping you there with a seal only she could remove. If you wanted to be corrupt you could stay where all of the other wicked souls went. But unlike others, you wouldn't be free to wander in agony. She needs someone to thoroughly ingrain in your mind never to go against family. And perhaps, with enough time, you'd finally be cleansed of mortal sins to join her in the heavens again.

But for now, you'll be paying “Uncle” Shinnok and “Big Brother” Raiden a little visit.

#yandere cetrion #cetrion x reader #mortal kombat x reader #cetrion #x reader #my writings

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whattraintracks · 2 months

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5. Video Games - Multi

What's this? More Raphael angst? Why are we surprised.

So I was listening to Stay Down by boygenius while some prompts simmered in my brain, and when this one started boiling somewhere around verse two, I knew what I had to do.

Would Raph even like this song? Who knows, but I sure do, so I am going to close-read the heck out of it and draw so many connections.

Video Games >> I'm just steering my life in a video game >> It's a half-life, it's a fallout

before any of you wonder what this has got to do with the prompt, here it is! it's in the song. prompt satisfied

apparently, those are also references to video games

. . .

moving on

Fighting and Learned Behavior >> lean into the punch >> push me down >> hold me under >> stay down

a.k.a. physical altercations as an allegory for Raphael’s life

obsessed with the metaphor of him leaning into a punch

if he can’t avoid life's blows, he'll do what he can to make them hurt less

suffer the hit just to get it over with, or take it for someone else

on a less angsty note, I simply associate Raph with boxing

he's a skilled ninja, but sometimes he wants to sucker-punch someone

cuz this boy really loves fighting, and that ain’t a bad thing

>> wasn't a fighter 'til somebody told me I had better learn >> would you teach me I'm the villain

I think a lot about Raph and learned behavior

when I tell you Rise and '03 Splinter altered my brain chemistry

hiding their connection to the Foot/Hamato Clan

trying to spare their sons from anger, grief, trauma, vengeance, and wars that don't belong to them is fascinating to me

but in every version, he teaches Raph how to fight

and I've talked about how '87 Raphael still inherited those things from Splinter's

even the ones who don’t are still altered by growing up with him, looking at you M&M Raph

it's not a coincidence '12 Splinter sees so much of himself in his son

Defense Mechanism and Love for Enemies >> lean into the punch so it don't hurt as bad when they leave

Raph's anger often screams defense mechanism to me

if humans are going to hate him anyway, again he'll lean into it

be snarky and rude and scary and mean and give them something to really hate

sometimes, his anger is preemptive, but it's not always unfounded

I don't think even ten fingers are enough to count how many times a recurring character turned on the '87 turtles

Raphael should have been allowed to beat up Vernon as consolation

>> there you were, turning your cheek

but wait! there's more! the Christian references in this song are not subtle

Luke 6:27,29 "Love your enemies; do good to those who hate you . . . if anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also"

I'm thinking about '87 Raphael's "Yeah, I'm with ya, but I'm bitter" and helping the guys protect a city that doesn't appreciate all they do

I'm thinking about '03 Raph, who is resolute it's not their problem that the city's at war but gets involved because Leo does

I'm thinking about '07 Raph taking up the Nightwatcher mantle after Leo leaves New York

Disconnection in Personal Relationships >> I look at you and you look at a screen

this second verse, I think, is pretty open to interpretation, which works well given how many variations there are of Raph

linking "screen" to "video game" in the next line, I picture Raph reaching out and being ignored

like '03 Raph figuring his anger out on his own v. Leo getting sent away for serious/professional help

like '07 Raph missing Leo and hearing no word from him for years

or I read "screen" with the connotation of concealment

like Rise Raph keeping it together for his little brothers until he can't

like their shock when he finally breaks down

the loneliness of Raph looking at his brothers and knowing them so well but feeling like they never really see him

>> similar acts and a different name

I am always struck by how similar Raph and his brothers are

the little things they do the same because they were raised together

the ways they deliberately emulate each other

it has to sting seeing so much of them in himself and himself in them and still be reduced to "the angry one"

especially when it's them thinking this way

(side note, Google has this lyric miswritten as "similar accent," which is hilarious in this context)

Loss and Lack of Control >> I'm in the back seat of my body

canon takes great pleasure in depriving Raph of control over his body

how intensely all Raphaels experience their emotions

off-screen and childhood trauma like “Savage Raph” in Rise

on-screen trauma that must lead to dissociation, flashbacks, nightmares, etc.

the two, at least that I know of, mind control events with ‘12 and Rise Raph

even ‘87 Raphael getting de-aged

you could also interpret this as gender dysphoria and I've seen a lot of good trans Raph headcanons

>> I'm just steering my life in a video game

beyond losing control of his body, Raph never really has control of his life

“turtle luck” and all that

this often shows up when their stories shift

like ‘87 Raphael, who goes from a wise guy to a sarcastic grouch as his story drags on and takes a darker turn

as opposed to Rise Raph, who throughout the series, gets talked down from heroism and over-vigilance

but guess which behaviors get rewarded and reinforced during the Shredder arcs and Krang invasion

so as not to ignore the prompt any more than I already have, I do enjoy those episodes where “life in a video game” for Raphael is a little more on the nose

Combat Land (1987), Across the Universe (2003), Mazes and Mutants (2012)

Literally Neurodivergent and a Minor

(Shoutout to this art from @/20s-turtle-posting that inspired the name of this section) ((and, no, I did not realise this is an ironic meme and will be taking it seriously))

>> aren't I the one constantly repenting for a difficult mind? >> push me down into the water like a sinner, hold me under >> villain >> sinner >> half-life >> fallout

I warned you about the religious imagery, but it's a little off in this verse

because repentance is about change as growth

but Raph feels like he has to change his "difficult mind" this ingrained part of himself

so he's stuck in a cycle of remorse and regret, unable to gain control

I think about running fast and far and anguished cries of “what is wrong with me?” (2003)

pushed into and held under, the waters of baptism are no longer cleansing and renewing but suppressing

it's the people closest to him saying “you are seriously twisted” (2012) and “you’ve got a rage problem” (M&M)

and having to decide between hiding those parts of himself or hoping they'll love him anyway

it's Raph feeling bad and broken, feeling like he's a danger and a poison to everyone around him

>> lean into the punch so it don't hurt as bad when they leave >> it takes so long for me to settle down and when I finally do, there's no one else around

and I wonder if Raph's temper is ever tied to feeling unlovable, and one feeling sparks another in a vicious feedback loop

a teenager testing the boundaries of care and affection, more defense mechanisms

how does he get himself to believe in their steadfast love even when he feels unworthy of it

to trust he's safe enough to feel all of his ugliest emotions when his life is so out of control

he forgets, his story doesn’t let him remember, that he’s still a kid

he's got a lot of growing to do, and even if it takes a long time, he’ll settle down one day, find his balance

his family’s gonna stick it out, and they’ll still be around when he finally gets there

tl;dr I will never be able to listen to this song without crying about Raphael now, so thanks, brain.

#march for raph #cw trauma #discussed not shown #it's still the fifth somewhere right?#why did i think a pseudo-essay would be less work/time-consuming than a fic? great question #raphael splinterson #raphael hamato #tmnt #whattrainofthought

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darthxvenus · 11 months

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Random Astrology Thoughts #1

Lilith in a woman's chart represents her dark feminine, feral, primal, dominant, raw sexual, selfish, and even somewhat bestial nature. The darkest parts of her personality she either completely rejects or completely embraces. It's the power she feels was stolen from her by men mainly, but can be whoever was a dominate figure over her. Lilith can represent fears and even rage/anger but also, turning those fears and anger into power points for yourself. Prominent Lilith's such as conjunct the angles, conjunct or harshly aspecting personal planets can show man-eaters, or women who embrace and are unafraid of taking their power back from the people who unfairly stole it. Ladies check your Lilith placement sign, house and aspects to see how and what power was taken from you, and how to harness this intensely alluring part of yourself; for good of course:) I will do a run down on Lilith through the signs and houses.

On the other side, Lilith in a man's chart can show the dark feminine, energy he is afraid of, either in himself or in other's or in some cases both. The types of women he fears, where he feels he didn't get to dominate or have his way. Women who hold strong energy of his Lilith will frighten him, sometimes anger him, but he will feel obsessively drawn to these kinds of women especially sexually. Other men who hold the energy of his Lilith, will remind him of the parts of himself he rejects, he may have ego clashes with them but will low-key envy them. Prominent Lilith's can show womanizers, or men who come to embrace their dark feminine, or reject it all together.

Gemini energy is confusing, very difficult to deal with if you don't understand how they operate (even so after you do understand them lol). I would say between Scorpio and Gemini, Gem is definitely the most hated sign of the zodiac, but i do understand the Gemini hate train (and i say this as a person with Gemini placement lmaoo). Gemini energy is flaky yes, their all about the mental. They are a mutable air sign ruled by Mercury, so the mind and thoughts never stop running. They are also playful, and not so serious as a Scorpio or Capricorn, or as emotionally driven as a Cancer or Pisces. They think about everything from a dual standpoint, they are the twins. As a result, they like to bounce ideas and communicative tactics off of others to get a better understanding of themselves. They're minds are always changing and they may not have been serious about something they said, but this is how they gain better insight into themselves and what they like. By throwing things out there, and receiving the reactions. If you are person with more earth or water placements, try not to take what a Gemini heavy person says or does to personally, their just a little all over the place lol. I also wouldn't trust them with my deepest secrets unless they've got some Scorpio or Cap going on in there lol.

Cancer energy, yes is very sweet, nurturing, caring, let me bake you cookies vibe; but Cancers can be very emotionally manipulative and VERY passive aggressive (way worse then Libras). Unless coupled with some fire placements, these people can very avoidant of confrontation, ESPECIALLY when they are in the wrong. They will crawl into their crab shell and play victims almost instantly, while trying to make you feel bad for feeling the way you do. Jupiter gets exalted in Cancer, which is no surprise Cancers do want every one to feel good, and take care of people, but Cancers must realize they can overstep boundaries and not to use they're very high emotional intelligence to get what they want or the reaction they want out of others.

Your Sun sign can represent facets of your personally, but your Sun is going to be more so what your trying to grow into or become (hence why people generally don't resonate with their Sun sign). Your Sun sign and house placement is going show what your goals are in this lifetime, it relates to things you'd like to achieve or areas of life you'd like to be most the successful at. Taurus Sun? You may have goals related to wealth, being stable, beauty or luxury, having what you need when you need it, having an easy or simple life. Sagittarius Sun? Your goals may be related to philosophy, higher education, your belief system, adventures, seeking truths. Libra Sun? You may have goals related to marriage, business partnership, justice, beauty industry, partnering with others to achieve your goals. Sun in the 5th? Goals related to creativity, self expression, children, romance, performing, being the best. And so on and so forth.

#astrology #lilith astrology #sun astrology #cancer placements #gemini #gemini placements #sun signs

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gideongrovel · 3 months

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Bro 👏🏾 is 👏🏾 yapping 👏🏾 about 👏🏾 that 👏🏾 man 👏🏾 again!!! 👏🏾

I wish I could remember more about what my thoughts on E/nel were when I first watched S/kypiea all those years ago,,,,, i was like what 10?? maybe 11? maybe 12?? idk maths isn't mathing,, and idr if I met him first through the Funi dub, or though my copy of Grand Adventure on gamecube, or the manga itself I can't blame myself for not remembering since its been so fucking long,,, and OP is one of those things that's quite literally always been apart of my life,,,,, my obsession coming and going in waves, but still,,, idr it never not being a thing in my life,,,, 😭

but anywhoooo I have figured out a couple small pieces to the puzzle of why i have snapped all these years later, and why i want that man (E/nel)!!! Okay so since in my youth I use to ship with Z/oro (I do not anymore, i personally feel too grown for him, and im just not into him in a shippy way anymore) but when I was younger and into Z/oro, his S/kypiea outfit was my absolute favorite (gonna mention Grand Adventure again- id always pick that as his outfit in that game lol), but i think that was my main focus when watching/rewatching that arc back then lmao,,, And while im not religious now, i use to be a christian when i was younger,,, so E/nel's whole god shtick probs was an ick to me back then,,,, so thats also a potential reason of why i didnt feel any shippy feels to him when i was younger,,,, 🤔

but now in this current day and age,,, those barriers weren't there,,,,, god complexes are hot to me- i love blasphemy and i didnt have someone else drawing my attention,,,, so i think thats a couple reasons of why these feels arose,,, My preferences with characters i lust after is different now then it was back then, and he checks alot of boxes for me "maybe, just maybe, its mental illness innit" so its not surprising when i really think about it,,,,,, its just funny it took over a decade to like smack me in the face,,,,, especially cause ive seen the arc many of times so i had many chances for it to happen 😭😭😭

i cant find it but i saw diagram once, it was like two separate lines meeting, then going their separate ways, then meeting back up again,,, and thats what this feels like??? not in like a rekindled old flame way,,,, cause he never was a flame, he was just someone i knew,,,, idk i guess its more like an "Oh. Oh." moment,,, like actually catching romantic feel for him (and not just sexual ones like i originally thought it was) has felt kinda comforting in some odd way??? that may sound off the wall given the type of character he is lmao,,,,,

But my thoughts are like it was a "wrong place, wrong time" back in the day,,,, but now,,, now we found our ways back to each other, it may have taken some time but things have aligned perfectly,,, and we're together now, and that is what matters in the end,,,,

idk what im on about truly,,,, articulating my emotions for this man feels *make vague idk gesture* if you wasted your time reading this im legit sorry 💀 I just love E/nel alot,,,, and this development of feelings these past couple months has my head spinning

#my post #saskia don't look

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retrodreamgirl · 2 years

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fast times: the cars we drive...| mechanic!steve harrington x fem!reader

was just thinking about mechanic!steve and this happened, very much flow of consciousness but im into it and will probably end up making it a series of blurbs or something (also is clearly just more bullet format which is not my usual writing style-) (no smut just some suggestive stuff)

We’re all always talking about mechanic!Eddie, but what about mechanic!Steve who comes outside one day to find his beloved BMW replaced with an old pickup truck, the paint chipping off the sides and the bumper set at an angle, various scrapes and dents covering the doors…

• He’s confused at first, looking around to see if there’s someone working on the house bc why the hell is this ugly ass truck in my driveway? more importantly, why is it in my parking spot and where is my baby???

• He finally stumbles into his dad’s office finding him sporting a delighted smirk where he sits behind the desk. Like he’s been waiting for the moment Steve walked in with that sleep dazed confusion asking about his car

The usual spiel follows suit: what are you doing with your life?...you should be in college, not working at a video store and driving those kids around town like you’re their mother…Seeing some girl who actually does know what she’s doing…not sure why she bothers with you…

Steve grumbles about how that has nothing to do with his car and he’s figuring things out in his own time…Well until then you can live like someone who’s “figuring things out”, and you’re lucky it’s just the car we’re taking

• He silently pouts for the next week, filling you in on his newest horror during your nightly phone calls— feeling vindicated by your sweet hums of affirmation when he lulls his speech unawares of the way your finger curls around the phone cord while you silently giggle at his dramatics—

• Ignoring Robin’s teasing jabs when he’s late to work the first few days, not yet used to the new car and its constant sputtering…no clue how to deal with anything beneath the hood

• He’s been avoiding the party, making excuses about work, too busy to drive them around…until Dustin is tired of his shit (concerned for his friend’s wellbeing) and drags everyone to Family Video when he knows Steve can’t get away from them to see what’s up.

“Is this why you’ve been being so weird??? This is awesome!” Dustin gapes, the rest of the party already climbing into the truck bed, Steve’s shoulders tensing at the way the old thing wobbles beneath their weight. “It’s perfect for the drive-in!” “And rides to the arcade!” “And the skate park!”

Steve loosens a bit watching them all fight over designated spots for next movie night and thinks “figuring it out” might be just what he needs

• It’s the joyful exuberance of watching everyone piled into the pickup, clearly unbothered by his lack of a BMW that drives Steve to Eddie Munson a few days later… “You want me to what?” Eddie is rolling a joint between his fingers, trying to decide whether this is a joke or if pretty boy Steve Harrington just pulled up to his trailer in a pickup truck and asked for his help fixing it up.

Steve’s explanation is mumbled (something about movies and mattresses) and after a healthy dose of teasing Eddie agrees to teach Steve what he knows and even offers to have him come into his uncle’s shop every now and then for extra help…

• Little does Steve know this is the start of his newest obsession.

• He picks up on things quicker than either of them thought he would and soon enough he doesn’t need Eddie’s help and he goes to Wayne’s shop for fun and a little extra cash for helping out in his free time

Patches of grease slowly start accumulating on his jeans, he’s taken to wearing jean vests (Eddie let him borrow his once when there was an accident with a gas can and suggested the look suits him and Steve was inclined to agree) and muscle tees, there’s more often than not a grease soaked rag dangling from the pocket hugging his ass, and he makes sure to sport the leather watch his parents gifted him for graduation, satisfied with the barely noticeable oil stain licking at the frame.

• Your knowledge about your boyfriends transformation is secondhand, Steve only filling you in on his newfound interest and the his progress on Phoebe (you hope he could sense your exasperation when he relayed the trucks new name “...ya know, because Phoebe Cates his so hot.” )

Gossip has your tongue poking through your lips in an attempt to picture the greasehead Max and El describe on one of your weekly chats (Robin and Nancy can’t be bothered to spare you the juicier details) and though the thought alone has your thighs squeezing for some sort of friction you know nothing will do it justice like the real thing.

• So when you’re finally through with exams the first thing you do when you’re back in town is head to Steve’s, hoping for a glimpse of him in action

• He does NOT disappoint.

• It’s an exceptionally hot day in Hawkins so he’s forgone a shirt, greased up jeans hugging him in all the right places—places that have bulked up since you last saw him—you watch unabashedly when the back of his hand swipes at the condensation building against his forehead and the muscles in his forearm flex against the action

Your eyes are too busy trailing his chest, the hair glistening in the light of midday teasing you down to his happy trail into his jeans, to realize he’s spotted you, your name falling from his lips

“Huh?” You finally perk up, realizing it's not a proper greeting seeing as you haven’t been face to face since spring break. “Stevie!” You nearly launch yourself into his arms, caught easily despite Steve’s attempts to save you from grease stained palms

“Missed you.” He murmurs, peppering kisses over the expanse of your face, the skin already burning beneath his touch and the way he looks…the way he’s looking at you. “Sneakin up on me huh? I would’ve picked you up.”

“Wanted to see you work.” You shrug, rocking on the toes of your sandals, waiting for Steve to notice the scant red dress you’ve chosen, one very similar to the car that’s been receiving all of his affection lately.

“s’just an oil change, nothing exciting.”

“Mmh, I’ve clearly missed a lot. My boyfriend is a sexy mechanic now.” “I’m hardly a mechanic—” “I don’t know Stevie, seein’ you all sweaty like that…must’ve been workin really hard. Deserve a break, a reward.” Steve watches the way your pointer settles between your teeth, eyes darting to the valley of your breasts then back to him taking it all in…

“Baby, I’m all dirty.” “I like it dirty.”

• And its SO TRUE!!

A few months ago you wouldn’t have thought twice about letting him shower before your were all over him but something about the sweat and musk, the way his greased up veins crawl up his arms, his body glistening with sweat, hands pushing at his soaked hair…it made you absolutely SOAKEDSMDNSJDNFJSD

• It’s a huge distraction to Steve, the way you’ll post up in a lawn chair with your shades and your pretty dresses, sometimes a hat to shield you from the sun. Usually you’ll have a magazine or a book in hand, pretending to read while stealing glances over the cover thinking that Steve doesn’t notice the way you’re biting your lip and adjusting your thighs ever so slightly

You work him up just as much as he does you, the tightness in his jeans often becoming an obstacle when he’s trying to work around Phoebe and all he can think of his taking you in her front seat—he’s kicked you out more than once under the guise of wanting that specific lemonade from the ice cream stand or sending you to rent a movie for a night in

Other times he has you spread across his front seat or in his lap with your back pushing against the steering wheel and a face full of innocence right before he rails you 10 ways…

• Since he’s been released from his father’s clutches Steve carries more of a casual dominance about him, not that it didn’t exist before but it’s no longer clouded by the intrusive thoughts clunking around his head with the weight of his parents expensive car and ridiculous expectations.

He’s nearly always got a protective hand nestled at the small of your back or around your waist, his nose pushing at your hairline when he gently dotes on you,guiding you away from an extra drink or eddie’s extended hand offering a blunt, his breath tickling against your ear as he whispers sweet nothings and guides you across the street…

• You love the way he seems so much more relaxed, his hand naturally swimming against your thigh, a carefree smile resting against his cheeks as he navigates a stretch of country road.

• Your favorite moments are when you take the party to the drive in and everyone squeezes into the back, no idea where one person ends and another begins, just laughing like nothing else matters.

Steve scolds them whenever they find themselves huddled in the truck bed. he cautiously drives careful not to jostle them too much lest one of them falls out, all of them teasing him with bent knees and 7 heads full of ideas to make him pull his hair out

• And of course Steve makes it a habit to take you on late night drives down to Lovers lake or some field just outside of town to stargaze in the truck bed, done up with blankets and pillows, your favorite snacks on deck and a new mixtape blaring from the back window.

He holds you to his chest, his scent of rosemary and bergamot still one of your favorite things in the world. He’s like this more often than not, his greased clothes all but nonexistent when he’s not crouched over Phoebe’s hood in the driveway or clad in a jumpsuit, sleeves rolled to his forearms (looking extra yummy), at Wayne’s shop.

It’s here that he hushes about the changes he feels lately and how much he’s been thinking about the future, a future with you. You remain like that, tucked between blankets with limbs tied together, kissing until the sun is peeking over the treeline and you amble to the front teeth both feeling far too smitten and ridiculous to do anything but hold hands while he drives you back home…

• Despite the favorable outcome you beg Steve to let you give his dad a piece of your mind for being such a horrible parent but the goofy grin Steve gives you the day his dad catches you ass up in Phoebe’s front seat is far more satisfactory, especially when Steve, despite your mortification, climbs in after you when Mr. Harrington all but runs into the house slamming the door behind him—

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things fic #mechanic!steve harrington #stranger things x reader

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